I am a 25-year-old male. Since my childhood, my father has had different affairs. I have seen my mom getting insulted by my dad and his family since childhood. I first time say porn in my dad's laptop when I was only 9 or 10 years old as he has a huge collection of porn in his laptop. My dad have different affairs and watches porn so his relation with my mom was not got at all. My mom was a sober & religious Lady. When I was around 12-13 years old I have seen my dad nudes with other women while having sex in his mobile phone, there were photos of women ( aged around 50 at that time ) taking something in their vagina or showing their private body parts or sending 5-10 minutes long videos of dancing nude or having bath. One of my father's girlfriends is his friend's sister, whom I have seen multiple times and seen her nudes in my dad's phone. Besides all this, I always consider my dad a hero because he has a difference with my mom, but he loves me a lot. There is no doubt in his love for me. But due to exposure to porn and women nudes which I know in real life I started masturbation in a very young age. I am tall and strong among my age fellows since birth. My father died a few years ago with a huge debt, which I am still unable to pay till today. We have paid nearly 20-30% of it, which takes us 5 years. Due to this debt, I felt ashamed in my family and society before they knew I had debt on my head. They didn't talk about it, but I felt guilty. The most hurt part is that he never spent that money on us. He spend that money to buy gift for his side bitches and give them money, We always struggle financially. Like there were fews months when he only give my mom 20-30K to manage whole month while when I checked his statements he send 50-60k to his side bitch that month like his side bitch is more important to him then his wife and children. While paying debt I feels like I am paying back money which my father took to fuck hoes while we suffered at home. He used to takes bitches to expensive hotels while we cook vegetable at our home which is the most cheapest in the shop on day due to shortage of money. He didn't fuck prostitutes infact he had affairs with housewives which no-one can judge can do such things with a man.
In 2018 or 2019, I saw my elder sister (she was unmarried and around 23-24 years old then) having sex with my cousin. I felt great shock, but after that incident, I couldn't see her with respect. Respect for her ends that day in my heart. After that, I started to check her mobile phone, where I encountered her nudes ( I saw her nudes in the send media of the internal storage of the mobile. She has deleted nudes from the gallery, but I don't think she knows that WhatsApp sent media also got saved here because I am an expert in computers and mobiles than her, so I became sexually attracted to my sister by seeing her nudes. There were 1000+ pics and videos that I have seen of her. She had multiple affairs with different boys, which I have seen in chats. I used to masturbate by thinking about her, and cousin, and other boys I have seen her chat with; most of them are her university mates. When she came back from dates which I already know from her chats, I used to sniff her panties and lick them to get taste of her vagina. My sister got married in few years ago. It was very hard for us to manage her wedding expenses, but we tried our best to arrange her wedding. But unfortunately, she got divorced a few months ago and now she lives with us. I had a quite handsome salary at that time, so I thought "no problem, I can manage things with my salary," but unfortunately, I lost my job very next month, and today I am unemployed for 2 months.
As I have seen older women nude in my childhood so from the age of 13-14, I lust for older women with a body figure.
My sister had a big ass since her college time so I am particularly drown towards women ass.
Slowly, with time, my lust for my sister vanished. Now I am not sexual attracted to her but I like women with big fluffy ass.
From last 10 years I only likes milfs or women with big ass in porn. I have faced extreme scenarios since my childhood, first my dad's affairs, then my sister's affairs, then my dad's death, then his debt, then my sister's divorce. Now I am single, unemployed and a porn addict. Nowadays I used to masturbate 5-6 times a day by watching milf porn or reading sex stories. I don't like it at all. I wanna leave it, but I can't. Whenever I tried to quit this addiction, I felt panic and anger. I can't control my emotions. I don't speak to my family members much since my childhood I used to spend most of my time in my room alone paying with toys in childhood, then playing games in middle age and now watching porn. I lose friends majorly due to my personality issues. I need a person to talk with whom I can share my emotions without getting judged. I need a life partner, but I know I can't get a life partner because I am a loser. Please, somebody, help me and tell me what to do. I can control my porn addiction but whenever I felt anger, panic, difficulties, pressure or extreme situations in life like I have told earlier at that moments I masturbated 5-6 times in a day. In my good days, I can control my masturbation. Like in good days, I only masturbate once a week, but in bad days I masturbate 5-6 times a day.
I started liking "Cuckold porn" because I consider myself a loser so I feels that the cuckold in that video is me because I have been losing since start of my life.
This is my life story, which I felt afraid to share with anyone. "A life story of a loser"
I am not here for sex talk. Reply only if you can help.
In 2018 or 2019, I saw my elder sister (she was unmarried and around 23-24 years old then) having sex with my cousin. I felt great shock, but after that incident, I couldn't see her with respect. Respect for her ends that day in my heart. After that, I started to check her mobile phone, where I encountered her nudes ( I saw her nudes in the send media of the internal storage of the mobile. She has deleted nudes from the gallery, but I don't think she knows that WhatsApp sent media also got saved here because I am an expert in computers and mobiles than her, so I became sexually attracted to my sister by seeing her nudes. There were 1000+ pics and videos that I have seen of her. She had multiple affairs with different boys, which I have seen in chats. I used to masturbate by thinking about her, and cousin, and other boys I have seen her chat with; most of them are her university mates. When she came back from dates which I already know from her chats, I used to sniff her panties and lick them to get taste of her vagina. My sister got married in few years ago. It was very hard for us to manage her wedding expenses, but we tried our best to arrange her wedding. But unfortunately, she got divorced a few months ago and now she lives with us. I had a quite handsome salary at that time, so I thought "no problem, I can manage things with my salary," but unfortunately, I lost my job very next month, and today I am unemployed for 2 months.
As I have seen older women nude in my childhood so from the age of 13-14, I lust for older women with a body figure.
My sister had a big ass since her college time so I am particularly drown towards women ass.
Slowly, with time, my lust for my sister vanished. Now I am not sexual attracted to her but I like women with big fluffy ass.
From last 10 years I only likes milfs or women with big ass in porn. I have faced extreme scenarios since my childhood, first my dad's affairs, then my sister's affairs, then my dad's death, then his debt, then my sister's divorce. Now I am single, unemployed and a porn addict. Nowadays I used to masturbate 5-6 times a day by watching milf porn or reading sex stories. I don't like it at all. I wanna leave it, but I can't. Whenever I tried to quit this addiction, I felt panic and anger. I can't control my emotions. I don't speak to my family members much since my childhood I used to spend most of my time in my room alone paying with toys in childhood, then playing games in middle age and now watching porn. I lose friends majorly due to my personality issues. I need a person to talk with whom I can share my emotions without getting judged. I need a life partner, but I know I can't get a life partner because I am a loser. Please, somebody, help me and tell me what to do. I can control my porn addiction but whenever I felt anger, panic, difficulties, pressure or extreme situations in life like I have told earlier at that moments I masturbated 5-6 times in a day. In my good days, I can control my masturbation. Like in good days, I only masturbate once a week, but in bad days I masturbate 5-6 times a day.
I started liking "Cuckold porn" because I consider myself a loser so I feels that the cuckold in that video is me because I have been losing since start of my life.
This is my life story, which I felt afraid to share with anyone. "A life story of a loser"
I am not here for sex talk. Reply only if you can help.
