Incest Tum Aisa Kyun Ho
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Aarav: Main thodi der baad aata hu, abhi yaha kaam hai.
Main: Thik hai, jaldi aana.
Aur Aarav offline ho gaya. Aaj jaise meri duniya hi badal gayi thi. Aarav mujhse baat kar raha tha, mujhese?
usne aaj itni saari baatein ki, jaise mera chaar saal purana Aarav mujhe wapas mil gaya ho. Par uska ye rukha sa swabhav mujhe chubh ta tha, dil ko dard deta tha.
Ek to usne mujhe neend se nahi uthaya, upar se bina bataye chala gaya. Main man hi man usse naraz ho gayi.
Main (man mein): Ek to tumne mujhe neend se nahi jagaya, upar se bina bataye nikal gaye. Bohot bure ho tum, Aarav. Tum mujhe zara sa bhi pyar nahi karte.
Main apni narazgi man hi man burburati rahi, tabhi Nina ne mujhe bulaya.
Main: Aa rahi hu, ruk ek minute.
Maine dekha phone ka charge kam tha, to maine use plug pe laga diya. Waise bhi main phone zyada chalati nahi thi, na tab, na ab. Do din mein ek baar charge karna hi kaafi hota tha.
Fir main bahar gayi, Nina ke paas baith gayi, aur TV dekhne lagi. Par dil bechain tha, Aarav kab aayega? Uska intezaar mujhe ek pal ke liye bhi chain nahi lene de raha tha.
Nina: Maa, bhaiya kab aayenge?
Main: Tujhe unse koi kaam tha?
Nina: Nahi, bas woh bina bataye chala gaya na, isliye puch rahi hu.
Main: Haan, usne bola thodi der baad aa raha hai.
Nina: Bhaiya ne phone kiya tha?
Main: Woh... haan, kiya tha.
Nina: Kab? Aap to yahi thi na?
Main: Woh... jab main kamre mein gayi thi na, tab usne call kiya tha.
Pata nahi kyun maine Nina se jhooth bol diya. Maine Aarav se WhatsApp pe baat ki thi, par na jaane kyun main ye baat usse chhupaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi, Aarav ke liye. jaise main kisi chiz ko chhupa rahi hu Nina se bhi apne aap se bhi.
Kuch der aise hi TV dekhte hue guzar gaya. Tabhi Ankur aaya, aur aate hi uski wahi gandi si hasi, jo mujhe hamesha se takleef deti thi, usne mere bagal mein baithne ki koshish ki. Par Main turant uthi.
Main: Nina, tu dekh, main khana bana leti hu tab tak.
Nina: Thik hai, maa.
Main kitchen ki taraf ja rahi thi ki Ankur ne mujhe roka.
Ankur: Arre, kaha ja rahi ho, Jaanvi?
Main: Sunai nahi diya? Abhi Nina ko boli na maine.
Ye kehte hue main kitchen mein chali gayi. Par jab maine peeche mudke dekha, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha.
Ek aurat ke dil mein ek ajeeb si sense hoti hai, jo batati hai ki kaun usse gandi nazar se dekhta hai aur kaun nahi. Ankur ki nazar mein wahi hawas thi, wahi gandagi, jo mujhe pehle din se hi pasand nahi thi. Par ab to mujhe usse darr lagta tha. Wahi darr, jo mujhe 19 saal pehle mehsoos hua tha.
Maine jaldi se apne aap ko sambhala aur Aarav ke bare mein sochne lagi. Ek woh hi hai, jispe mujhe bharosa hai. Mera Aarav, mera sahara. Uska chehra yaad aaya, to darr thoda kam hua.
Main (man mein): Mujhe Ankur se darr nahi lagna chahiye. Aarav abhi ghar pe hai, Ankur kuch nahi kar sakta.
Maine ek gehri saans li, par ye darr wahi tha, jo 19 saal se mere dil mein ghar kiye hue tha. Ek sadma, jo maine kabhi socha nahi tha ki zindagi mujhe de degi.
Main (man mein): Par... jab Aarav ka college shuru ho jayega, tab? Tab to woh ghar pe nahi rahega. Aur agar usi waqt Ankur ne... Deva, raksha karna!
Main (man mein): Aarav, jaldi ghar aa jao.
Main apne aap se baatein karte hue khana bana rahi thi, par baar-baar nazar Ankur pe jaati thi. Woh mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha abhi tak. Ek ajeeb si ghabrahat, ek dar mere dil mein thi. Main bas yahi chahti thi ki Aarav jaldi ghar aa jaye. Agar main uske bina rahu to mere saath kuch galat na ho jaye.
Tabhi doorbell baji. Aur mujhe pata tha ye kon hoga. Main itni jaldi se darwaza kholne daudi ki jaise meri jaan usi ke saath bandhi ho.
Darwaza khola, aur saamne Aarav tha. Maine ek rahat ki saans li, jaise dil se ek bhaari bojh utar gaya, usse dakhte hi dar kadam se chala gaya.
Main: Aarav... Aarav!
Aarav ne mujhe dekha, meri aankhon mein darr, meri saanso ki bechaini saaf dikh rahi thi.
Aarav: Kya hua?
Main: Kuch nahi... tum... tumne itni der kyun laga di? Chalo, chhodo, andar aao, jaldi.
Main jaldi se Aarav ko andar le aayi. Ek woh hi tha, jiske saamne Ankur mujhe aisi gandi nazar se nahi ghoorta tha. Nina chhoti thi, woh in baaton ko notice nahi karti, par Aarav bada tha, samajhdaar tha. Uski maujoodgi mein Ankur ki himmat nahi hoti thi mujhe aise dekhne ki.
Nina: Kon hai, maa?
Main: Tere bhaiya.
Kehte hue maine Aarav ko andar aane diya. Jaise hi Ankur ne Aarav ko dekha, uski wahi gandi, haiwani nazar gayab ho gayi. Woh ek bheegi billi ki tarah baith gaya.
Maine dekha Aarav apne kamre ki taraf ja raha tha.
Main: Aarav, yahi baith jao, khana abhi ready ho jayega.
Aarav: Baad mein kha lunga.
Aur ye kehte hue woh apne kamre mein chala gaya. Main use rok nahi payi. Kaise rokti? Kya kehti sabke samne, ki Ankur se mujhe dar lag raha hai? Main wahi khadi reh gayi, dil mein ek khali si ehsaas ke saath.
Nina: Maa, jaldi karo, bhook lagi hai!
Ankur: Haan, Jaanvi, mujhe bhi bohot bohot.. bohat bhook lagi hai.
Ankur ne fir wahi gandi nazar se mujhe dekha aur bola. Uski baat sunke mujhe gussa to aaya, par main chup rahi. Main uske saamne rehna nahi chahti thi, par kya karti?
Main: Main Aarav se puch ke aati hu woh raat mein kya khayega.
Ye bahana banake main Aarav ke kamre ki taraf chali gayi. Uska darwaza hamesha ki tarah khula tha. Main bina soche andar chali gayi, aur jo dekha, usse meri saansein ruk gayi.
Aarav upar se nanga tha, sirf pant pehni hui thi, aur woh bhi utarne wala tha. Maine jaldi se nazar pher li, mere gaal sharam se lal ho gaye. Agar ek second bhi der hoti, to shayad main use....
main peeche mudke boli.
Main: Aarav...
Meri Aawaz sunte hi Aarav hadbada gaya, shayad usne socha nahi tha ki koi abhi kamre mein aayega, par main to aa gaye thi.
Aarav: Aap... aap yaha?
Main: Umm... woh... main... tumne pant pehen liya na?
Aarav: Ek... ek minute...
Woh shayad jaldi se pant pehen raha tha. Jab usne pehen li, to usne bola.
Aarav: Boliye.
Main: Tum... tumne pant pehen li na?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Main... main peeche ghum jau?
Aarav: Hmm.
Maine dhire se peeche mudi, to dekha Aarav upar se ab bhi nanga tha, matlab shirt nahi pehni thi, par pant pehen li thi. Uska nanga badan dekhke meri saansein ek pal ke liye ruk gayi. Purushali chaudi chhati, kasa huya haath, jisme se nase bahar aa rahi thi, Mere gaal aur lal ho gaye, aur uski woh balo wali chati jiss dekh meri gaal ab to tamatar ki tarah lal ho chuki thi, dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi.
Aarav: Kuch bolna tha aapko?
Main: Haan, Aarav... woh... tum raat mein kya khayega?
Aarav: Kuch bhi bana do, kha lunga.
Main: Nahi, tum bolo, jo khana hai main bana dungi.
Aarav: Puran poli, phir.
Main: Thik hai, main wahi banaungi.
Main: Aur... woh...
Aarav mere saamne shirtless khada tha, aur main sharam se pani-pani ho rahi thi. Pata nahi usne meri lal gaalon ko dekha ya nahi, par main baat ko theek se bol nahi pa rahi thi.
Main: Aarav... tum dining table pe aao, waha baitho.
Aarav: Ho jaye to mujhe bula lena, main aa jaunga. Abhi main nahane ja raha hu.
Main: Nahi... nahi.. ruko!
Aarav: Kya? Na nahau?
Main: Nahi, mera matlab woh nahi tha.
Aarav: To phir?
Main soch mein pad gayi. Kaise batau ki Ankur mujhe gandi nazar se dekhta hai, aur uski wajah se main dari hui hu? Kaise batau ki mujhe Aarav ki zarurat hai, uski maujoodgi ki. Main bas use dekhti rahi, bebas si.
Aarav: Kya hua, maa?
Main: Aarav, main chahti hu tum dining table pe baitho abhi.
Aarav: Mujhe nahana hai abhi.
Main: Khana kha ke naha lena.
Aarav: Khana kha ke kaun nahata hai? Main ja raha hu nahane.
Ye kehte hue woh jane laga. Meri bechaini badh gayi. Maine apne pallu ko kaske pakad liya.
Main: Kya... kya main tumhare liye kuch nahi rakhti, Aarav?
Aarav ne peeche mudke dekha, meri aankhein nam thi.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Tum hamesha aisa hi karte ho mere saath. Meri ek bhi baat nahi maante. Theek hai, tum mat aao...
Main roti hui bahar jane lagi, tabhi Aarav bola.
Aarav: Theek hai, main aa raha hu.
Ye sunke mere hothon pe ek chhoti si muskaan aa gayi.
Main: Chalo...
Aarav bahar aa raha tha, par maine use rok diya.
Main: Ruko... ruko...
Aarav: Ab kya hua?
Main: Nahi, woh...
Main: Woh Nina bahar baithi hai.
Aarav : Haan, to?
Main: Tum... tum ek t-shirt pehen lo.
Hua yun tha ki Aarav bina shirt ke hi bahar aa raha tha, par Nina bhi to waha baithi thi. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ajeeb sa laga, aur maine use rok diya.
Aarav: Theek hai, aap jao, main t-shirt pehen ke aata hu.
Main: Umm, jaldi aana.
Main bahar aayi, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se dekh raha tha. Main jaldi se kitchen mein chali gayi. Par Ankur ki nazar ab bhi mujhpe thi.
Ankur: Jaanvi, jaldi khila do, kitne saalon se... mera matlab, kab se bhookha baitha hu.
Usne fir ek ghatiya baat boli. Maine gusse se daant bheench liye. Ek insaan itna ghatiya kaise ho sakta hai?
Ankur: Kya hua, Jaanvi? Mujhe nahi khilaogi?
Usne bade ghatiye tareeke se bola, par tabhi Aarav apne kamre se bahar aaya. Aarav ke aate hi Ankur ekdum chup ho gaya. Ye dekh ke mujhe dil se sukoon mila. Mera beta hai hi aisa, jo apni maujoodgi se sab theek kar deta hai.
Aarav ki maujud gi mein Maine khushi-khushi khana banaya. Aarav ki pasand ki puran poli, Nina ke liye bhi kuch banaya, uski pasand ki. Aarav dining table pe baitha tha, phone chala raha tha.
Main: Nina, aaja, dinner ready ho gaya hai.
Nina: Aayi!
Main kitchen mein paani ka glass lene gayi, aur wapas aayi to dekha Nina Aarav ke bagal mein baith chuki thi. Ye dekh ke mere pair jaise tham gaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si chubhan hui.
Main (man mein): Main to... Aarav ke saath baithne wali thi, par...
Nina: Kya hua, maa? Ab khana do, bhook lagi hai.
Main: Haan... haan, de rahi hu.
Maine dekha ki sirf Ankur ke bagal wali kursi khali thi. Aur main waha baithna nahi chahti thi.
Nina: Maa!
Main: Ruk, baba, de rahi hu.
Maine sabko khana parosa. Paroste waqt meri nazar ek baar Aarav se mili, par usne mujhe nahi dekha. Khadoos kahin ka!
Maine sabko khana paros diya, par abhi tak khud nahi baithi thi, kyunki Ankur ke paas baithna mujhe gawarah nahi tha.
Nina: Aap nahi baithogi?
Main: Nahi, tum sab khao, main...
Main kehte-kehte ruk gayi, kyun ki beech mein Aarav ne bola.
Aarav: Baad mein nahi, aap abhi khao.
Main (man mein): Aarav ko kaise pata chala ki main yahi kehne wali thi?
Main: Nahi, theek hai, Aarav, main baad mein...
Aarav: Aap baithiye.
Usne apni us bhaari awaaz mein bhi bade pyar se bola, aisa laga jaise mujhe order diya ho. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ye baat achi lagi.
Main: Hmm.
Main Ankur ke bagal mein nahi baithna chahti thi, par Aarav ki baat kaise taalti? Uski baat sunne ke liye mujhe wahi baithna pada. Maine kursi thodi door kheench li, taaki Ankur se dur rahu.
Hum aise baithe the mere saamne Nina, aur Ankur ke saamne Aarav. Aarav ke hote hue Ankur mujhe nahi ghoor raha tha, par uske paas baithne se hi mujhe ghin aa rahi thi. Par ab kya karti?
Sab ne khana shuru kiya. Main baar-baar Aarav ko dekhti thi, ki use kuch chahiye ya nahi, par woh khadoos mujhse kuch mang hi nahi raha tha. Par main maa hu na, mujhe to puchna hi tha.
Main: Nina, aur kuch chahiye?
Nina: Nahi, maa, mera to ho gaya.
Maine Aarav ki taraf dekha aur boli.
Main: Aur tumhe kuch chahiye, Aarav?
Aarav: Mera bhi ho gaya.
Main: Aisa nahi bolte, thoda aur khao.
Aarav: Nahi, bas...
Main: Kya bas? Kya tumhe puran poli achi nahi lagi?
Aarav: Theek hai, dijiye... par thoda sa hi.
Maine muskurate hue thodi aur puran poli uske plate mein daali.
Main: Acha laga tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Bas ek "hmm," par mujhe laga jaise usne meri taareef kar di. Dil khush ho gaya. Fir zyada baatein nahi hui. Sab ne khana khatam kiya aur apne-apne kamre mein chale gaye.
Main kamre mein aayi to Ankur mujhe aise dekh raha tha, jaise mera intezaar kar raha ho. Mujhe laga hi tha woh kuch bolega ganda sa, par maine use roka phele hi.
Main: Nahi, muh mat kholo. Main tum jaise ghatiya haiwan se baat nahi karna chahti.
Ye kehte hue main washroom chali gayi. Aaj subah se main kush thi, aur ab raat ko main chain ki neend lena chahti thi. Ankur se baat karke apni khushi barbad nahi karna chahti thi.
Chaar saalon mein shayad ye pehla din tha jab main sach mein khush thi. Main jaldi se fresh hui aur sofe pe let gayi. Aankhein band ki, par neend nahi aa rahi thi. Idhar-udhar karwate badli, par neend aankhon se koson dur thi.
Ek ghanta beet gaya, Ankur to kab ka so chuka tha.
Main (man mein): Shayad aaj dopahar Aarav ke kamre mein so gayi thi, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi. Ek minute... kya Aarav abhi jaag raha hoga? Use message karke dekhu?
Maine phone uthaya aur chadar se apne maathe tak dhak liya, taaki phone ki roshni zyada na dikhe. Fir maine WhatsApp pe Aarav ko message kiya.
Main: Aarav?
Koi jawab nahi aaya. Main is ummeed mein thi ki shayad woh jaag raha hoga. Das minute guzar gaye, par koi reply nahi. Main nirash ho gayi. Shayad Aarav so gaya tha. Phone off karne ja rahi thi ki tabhi phone vibrate hua. Dekha to Aarav ka message tha.
Meri khushi ka thikana nahi raha.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak soyi nahi?
Main: Nahi, sorry, maine tumhe disturb to nahi kiya na?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Acha, tum abhi tak kyun nahi soye?
Aarav: Main nahane gaya tha.
Main: Kyun?
Aarav: Kyun kya? Main to tabhi nahane ja raha tha, aapne hi to bola tha baad mein naha lena.
Haan, maine hi to bola tha. Main bhi na!
Main: Haan... woh, acha, tum fresh ho gaye?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: To ab sone ja rahe ho?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Oh.
Ab kya bolu, mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha. Aarav ka bhi koi reply nahi aa raha tha. Woh online to tha, par kuch bol nahi raha tha. Main bhi kuch samajh nahi pa rahi thi ki aage kya bolu. Aise hi aur das minute guzar gaye.
Par Ab mujhse raha nahi gaya, maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav.
Aarav: Maa.
Maine message bheja, aur uska bhi message aaya. Matlab hum dono ne ek saath ek dusre ko text kiya tha. Ye baat mere dil ko chhu gayi. Hum dono ek hi waqt pe ek dusre ke bare mein soch rahe the, sayad.
Main: Bolo, Aarav.
Aarav: Aap boliye.
Main: Kyun? Tum bolo. Main to hamesha baat karti rehti hu tumse. Tum hi ho jo mujhse baat nahi karte.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak kyun nahi soyi?
Main: Dopahar mein tumhare saath so gayi thi na, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi.
Aarav: Oh.
Main: Tumne mujhe kyun nahi uthaya?
Aarav: Aap so rahi thi, isliye.
Main: To kya hua? Jaga dete mujhe.
Aarav: Aap sote hue itni pyari lag rahi thi, to mujhe laga aapko jagana sahi nahi hoga.
Ye message padh ke meri ekdam se dhadkane tez ho gayi. Usne kya kaha? Main pyari lag rahi thi? Main? Mere dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi, jaise koi toofan aa gaya ho.
Main: Main... sach mein?
Aarav: Kya?
Main: Yehi jo tumne abhi kaha.
Aarav: Kon si baat?
Main: Ki main sote hue pyari lag rahi thi?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Aarav!
Aarav: Boliye?
Main: Kya... main sach mein pyari lagti hu tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Bolo.
Aarav: Haan.
Main (man mein): Hehe, hehe!
Main: Bas, haan? Aur kuch nahi?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Pehle to tum meri kitni taareef karte the. Kehte the, maa, kitni sundar lag rahi ho, kitni pyari ho. Ab to kitne saal ho gaye, tumne aisa kuch nahi kaha.
Is message pe Aarav ne koi jawab nahi diya. Maine dekha, woh offline ho gaya. Iss baat ne mere Dil mein ek dard sa utha diya.
Main: Aarav...
Main: Aarav? Offline kyun ho gaye?
Main: Aarav...
Main (man mein): Kya maine kuch galat bol diya?
Maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav! I’m sorry, agar maine kuch galat keh diya to. Bye. Good night. Raat ho rahi hai, so jao.
Main apne dard ko leke phone rakhne jaa hi rahi thi, Par tabhi Aarav online aaya, aur uska message aaya.
Aarav: Sorry... woh main washroom gaya tha.
Main: Nahi, nahi, it’s okay.
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Umm... bolo na.
Aarav: Insaan badal jate hain.
Main: Main samjhi nahi?
Aarav: Matlab, insaan ko badalna padta hai.
Uski ye baat mere dil ko kaat ke gayi, jaise koi teer chala ho.
Main: Kyun, Aarav? Insaan kyun badalte hain?
Aarav: Mujhe nahi pata.
Main: Tumhe nahi pata? Haan, kaise pata hoga, tum bhi to badal gaye ho na.
Main: Haan, tumne sahi kaha, Aarav. Kyunki tum bhi badal gaye ho.
Main: Par main... main nahi badal payi khud ko, Aarav.
Main: Main wahi ki wahi reh gayi. Samay mere liye jaise aage badha hi nahi.
Main:
Main: Good night.
Ye message bhejne ke baad maine phone rakh diya. Sach mein, main hi nahi badal payi. Sab kuch badal gaya tha, par main wahi ki wahi reh gayi thi. Neend to pehle bhi nahi aa rahi thi, ab to aur bhi nahi aayi. Ulta rona aa raha tha, apne jeevan pe, apni kismat pe.
Main khul ke ro bhi nahi sakti thi. Kaha roti? Kiske paas roti? pati ke paas, jisne mujhse sirf paiso ke liye shadi ki? Woh pati jo haiwan hai, uske paas? Jise mujhe kabhi pyar hi nahi tha? Ye Nina ke paas roti? Kya woh samjhegi mujhe?
Ye uske paas roti jisne mujhe ye dard diya?
Jab meri shadi hui thi Ankur se, main sirf ** saal ki thi. Itni chhoti umar, na maine kabhi pyar samjha tha, na kabhi kisi se pyar kiya tha. Fir bhi meri shadi Ankur se karwa di gayi. Aur shadi ke pehle din se main samajh gayi thi ki Ankur insaan nahi, ek haiwan hai.
Fir bhi maine apna patni dharma nibhaya, jisse mujhe Aarav aur Nina jaise do pyare ratan mile.
Main apni shadi se khush nahi thi, par apne dono bacchon ke liye maine har dard, har khamoshi ko seh liya.
Fir Aarav bada hua. Ek woh hi tha jo mujhe samajhta tha. Uska chehra dekh ke main apni saare biteya hua kal bhool jati thi. Aarav mere zehen mein har waqt rehta tha.
Woh mera dost tha, mera sahara, mera sab kuch. Hum dono ke beech ek aisi dosti thi, jo bina bole ek dusre ki baat samajh leti thi. Shayad har maa-bete ke rishte mein aisa nahi hota, par humare rishte mein tha. Aarav mein maine apni duniya pa li thi. Usne mujhe pyar ka ehsas dilaya, usne mere hothon pe muskaan laayi.
Par fir ek din, Aarav ne mujhse duri bana li. Ekdum se meri duniya jaise toot gayi. Mera ek matra sahara mujhse dur ho gaya tha ekdam se.
Main jo rishta dosti samajh rahi thi, woh kabhi sirf dosti thi hi nahi Woh... woh pyar tha. Haan, pyar tha. Mujhe usse pyar ho gaya tha. Na jaane kab, na jaane kaise, main khud nahi janti thi.
Ek aisa pyar jo mujhe jala raha tha, bujha raha tha, tadpa raha tha. Ek aisa pyar jo main kabhi kisi ko bata nahi sakti thi.
Mujhe... mujhe apne hi bete se pyar ho gaya tha
Aur ye baat main jaan chuki thi... Main jaan chuki thi ki mujhe apne Aarav se pyar ho gaya hai
Meri har dhadkan mein Aarav ka naam tha. Har saans mein uska chehra. Main ek maa thi, par is dil ne mujhe ek aurat bana diya tha, jo apne hi bete ke pyar mein doob gayi thi
Main ro rahi thi, bina koye aawaz kiya, chupke se, apne aap se ladte huye. Kise batati? Aarav... mera Aarav... mera pyar... meri duniya hai
Main: Thik hai, jaldi aana.
Aur Aarav offline ho gaya. Aaj jaise meri duniya hi badal gayi thi. Aarav mujhse baat kar raha tha, mujhese?
usne aaj itni saari baatein ki, jaise mera chaar saal purana Aarav mujhe wapas mil gaya ho. Par uska ye rukha sa swabhav mujhe chubh ta tha, dil ko dard deta tha.
Ek to usne mujhe neend se nahi uthaya, upar se bina bataye chala gaya. Main man hi man usse naraz ho gayi.
Main (man mein): Ek to tumne mujhe neend se nahi jagaya, upar se bina bataye nikal gaye. Bohot bure ho tum, Aarav. Tum mujhe zara sa bhi pyar nahi karte.
Main apni narazgi man hi man burburati rahi, tabhi Nina ne mujhe bulaya.
Main: Aa rahi hu, ruk ek minute.
Maine dekha phone ka charge kam tha, to maine use plug pe laga diya. Waise bhi main phone zyada chalati nahi thi, na tab, na ab. Do din mein ek baar charge karna hi kaafi hota tha.
Fir main bahar gayi, Nina ke paas baith gayi, aur TV dekhne lagi. Par dil bechain tha, Aarav kab aayega? Uska intezaar mujhe ek pal ke liye bhi chain nahi lene de raha tha.
Nina: Maa, bhaiya kab aayenge?
Main: Tujhe unse koi kaam tha?
Nina: Nahi, bas woh bina bataye chala gaya na, isliye puch rahi hu.
Main: Haan, usne bola thodi der baad aa raha hai.
Nina: Bhaiya ne phone kiya tha?
Main: Woh... haan, kiya tha.
Nina: Kab? Aap to yahi thi na?
Main: Woh... jab main kamre mein gayi thi na, tab usne call kiya tha.
Pata nahi kyun maine Nina se jhooth bol diya. Maine Aarav se WhatsApp pe baat ki thi, par na jaane kyun main ye baat usse chhupaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi, Aarav ke liye. jaise main kisi chiz ko chhupa rahi hu Nina se bhi apne aap se bhi.
Kuch der aise hi TV dekhte hue guzar gaya. Tabhi Ankur aaya, aur aate hi uski wahi gandi si hasi, jo mujhe hamesha se takleef deti thi, usne mere bagal mein baithne ki koshish ki. Par Main turant uthi.
Main: Nina, tu dekh, main khana bana leti hu tab tak.
Nina: Thik hai, maa.
Main kitchen ki taraf ja rahi thi ki Ankur ne mujhe roka.
Ankur: Arre, kaha ja rahi ho, Jaanvi?
Main: Sunai nahi diya? Abhi Nina ko boli na maine.
Ye kehte hue main kitchen mein chali gayi. Par jab maine peeche mudke dekha, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha.
Ek aurat ke dil mein ek ajeeb si sense hoti hai, jo batati hai ki kaun usse gandi nazar se dekhta hai aur kaun nahi. Ankur ki nazar mein wahi hawas thi, wahi gandagi, jo mujhe pehle din se hi pasand nahi thi. Par ab to mujhe usse darr lagta tha. Wahi darr, jo mujhe 19 saal pehle mehsoos hua tha.
Maine jaldi se apne aap ko sambhala aur Aarav ke bare mein sochne lagi. Ek woh hi hai, jispe mujhe bharosa hai. Mera Aarav, mera sahara. Uska chehra yaad aaya, to darr thoda kam hua.
Main (man mein): Mujhe Ankur se darr nahi lagna chahiye. Aarav abhi ghar pe hai, Ankur kuch nahi kar sakta.
Maine ek gehri saans li, par ye darr wahi tha, jo 19 saal se mere dil mein ghar kiye hue tha. Ek sadma, jo maine kabhi socha nahi tha ki zindagi mujhe de degi.
Main (man mein): Par... jab Aarav ka college shuru ho jayega, tab? Tab to woh ghar pe nahi rahega. Aur agar usi waqt Ankur ne... Deva, raksha karna!
Main (man mein): Aarav, jaldi ghar aa jao.
Main apne aap se baatein karte hue khana bana rahi thi, par baar-baar nazar Ankur pe jaati thi. Woh mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha abhi tak. Ek ajeeb si ghabrahat, ek dar mere dil mein thi. Main bas yahi chahti thi ki Aarav jaldi ghar aa jaye. Agar main uske bina rahu to mere saath kuch galat na ho jaye.
Tabhi doorbell baji. Aur mujhe pata tha ye kon hoga. Main itni jaldi se darwaza kholne daudi ki jaise meri jaan usi ke saath bandhi ho.
Darwaza khola, aur saamne Aarav tha. Maine ek rahat ki saans li, jaise dil se ek bhaari bojh utar gaya, usse dakhte hi dar kadam se chala gaya.
Main: Aarav... Aarav!
Aarav ne mujhe dekha, meri aankhon mein darr, meri saanso ki bechaini saaf dikh rahi thi.
Aarav: Kya hua?
Main: Kuch nahi... tum... tumne itni der kyun laga di? Chalo, chhodo, andar aao, jaldi.
Main jaldi se Aarav ko andar le aayi. Ek woh hi tha, jiske saamne Ankur mujhe aisi gandi nazar se nahi ghoorta tha. Nina chhoti thi, woh in baaton ko notice nahi karti, par Aarav bada tha, samajhdaar tha. Uski maujoodgi mein Ankur ki himmat nahi hoti thi mujhe aise dekhne ki.
Nina: Kon hai, maa?
Main: Tere bhaiya.
Kehte hue maine Aarav ko andar aane diya. Jaise hi Ankur ne Aarav ko dekha, uski wahi gandi, haiwani nazar gayab ho gayi. Woh ek bheegi billi ki tarah baith gaya.
Maine dekha Aarav apne kamre ki taraf ja raha tha.
Main: Aarav, yahi baith jao, khana abhi ready ho jayega.
Aarav: Baad mein kha lunga.
Aur ye kehte hue woh apne kamre mein chala gaya. Main use rok nahi payi. Kaise rokti? Kya kehti sabke samne, ki Ankur se mujhe dar lag raha hai? Main wahi khadi reh gayi, dil mein ek khali si ehsaas ke saath.
Nina: Maa, jaldi karo, bhook lagi hai!
Ankur: Haan, Jaanvi, mujhe bhi bohot bohot.. bohat bhook lagi hai.
Ankur ne fir wahi gandi nazar se mujhe dekha aur bola. Uski baat sunke mujhe gussa to aaya, par main chup rahi. Main uske saamne rehna nahi chahti thi, par kya karti?
Main: Main Aarav se puch ke aati hu woh raat mein kya khayega.
Ye bahana banake main Aarav ke kamre ki taraf chali gayi. Uska darwaza hamesha ki tarah khula tha. Main bina soche andar chali gayi, aur jo dekha, usse meri saansein ruk gayi.
Aarav upar se nanga tha, sirf pant pehni hui thi, aur woh bhi utarne wala tha. Maine jaldi se nazar pher li, mere gaal sharam se lal ho gaye. Agar ek second bhi der hoti, to shayad main use....
main peeche mudke boli.
Main: Aarav...
Meri Aawaz sunte hi Aarav hadbada gaya, shayad usne socha nahi tha ki koi abhi kamre mein aayega, par main to aa gaye thi.
Aarav: Aap... aap yaha?
Main: Umm... woh... main... tumne pant pehen liya na?
Aarav: Ek... ek minute...
Woh shayad jaldi se pant pehen raha tha. Jab usne pehen li, to usne bola.
Aarav: Boliye.
Main: Tum... tumne pant pehen li na?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Main... main peeche ghum jau?
Aarav: Hmm.
Maine dhire se peeche mudi, to dekha Aarav upar se ab bhi nanga tha, matlab shirt nahi pehni thi, par pant pehen li thi. Uska nanga badan dekhke meri saansein ek pal ke liye ruk gayi. Purushali chaudi chhati, kasa huya haath, jisme se nase bahar aa rahi thi, Mere gaal aur lal ho gaye, aur uski woh balo wali chati jiss dekh meri gaal ab to tamatar ki tarah lal ho chuki thi, dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi.
Aarav: Kuch bolna tha aapko?
Main: Haan, Aarav... woh... tum raat mein kya khayega?
Aarav: Kuch bhi bana do, kha lunga.
Main: Nahi, tum bolo, jo khana hai main bana dungi.
Aarav: Puran poli, phir.
Main: Thik hai, main wahi banaungi.
Main: Aur... woh...
Aarav mere saamne shirtless khada tha, aur main sharam se pani-pani ho rahi thi. Pata nahi usne meri lal gaalon ko dekha ya nahi, par main baat ko theek se bol nahi pa rahi thi.
Main: Aarav... tum dining table pe aao, waha baitho.
Aarav: Ho jaye to mujhe bula lena, main aa jaunga. Abhi main nahane ja raha hu.
Main: Nahi... nahi.. ruko!
Aarav: Kya? Na nahau?
Main: Nahi, mera matlab woh nahi tha.
Aarav: To phir?
Main soch mein pad gayi. Kaise batau ki Ankur mujhe gandi nazar se dekhta hai, aur uski wajah se main dari hui hu? Kaise batau ki mujhe Aarav ki zarurat hai, uski maujoodgi ki. Main bas use dekhti rahi, bebas si.
Aarav: Kya hua, maa?
Main: Aarav, main chahti hu tum dining table pe baitho abhi.
Aarav: Mujhe nahana hai abhi.
Main: Khana kha ke naha lena.
Aarav: Khana kha ke kaun nahata hai? Main ja raha hu nahane.
Ye kehte hue woh jane laga. Meri bechaini badh gayi. Maine apne pallu ko kaske pakad liya.
Main: Kya... kya main tumhare liye kuch nahi rakhti, Aarav?
Aarav ne peeche mudke dekha, meri aankhein nam thi.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Tum hamesha aisa hi karte ho mere saath. Meri ek bhi baat nahi maante. Theek hai, tum mat aao...
Main roti hui bahar jane lagi, tabhi Aarav bola.
Aarav: Theek hai, main aa raha hu.
Ye sunke mere hothon pe ek chhoti si muskaan aa gayi.
Main: Chalo...
Aarav bahar aa raha tha, par maine use rok diya.
Main: Ruko... ruko...
Aarav: Ab kya hua?
Main: Nahi, woh...
Main: Woh Nina bahar baithi hai.
Aarav : Haan, to?
Main: Tum... tum ek t-shirt pehen lo.
Hua yun tha ki Aarav bina shirt ke hi bahar aa raha tha, par Nina bhi to waha baithi thi. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ajeeb sa laga, aur maine use rok diya.
Aarav: Theek hai, aap jao, main t-shirt pehen ke aata hu.
Main: Umm, jaldi aana.
Main bahar aayi, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se dekh raha tha. Main jaldi se kitchen mein chali gayi. Par Ankur ki nazar ab bhi mujhpe thi.
Ankur: Jaanvi, jaldi khila do, kitne saalon se... mera matlab, kab se bhookha baitha hu.
Usne fir ek ghatiya baat boli. Maine gusse se daant bheench liye. Ek insaan itna ghatiya kaise ho sakta hai?
Ankur: Kya hua, Jaanvi? Mujhe nahi khilaogi?
Usne bade ghatiye tareeke se bola, par tabhi Aarav apne kamre se bahar aaya. Aarav ke aate hi Ankur ekdum chup ho gaya. Ye dekh ke mujhe dil se sukoon mila. Mera beta hai hi aisa, jo apni maujoodgi se sab theek kar deta hai.
Aarav ki maujud gi mein Maine khushi-khushi khana banaya. Aarav ki pasand ki puran poli, Nina ke liye bhi kuch banaya, uski pasand ki. Aarav dining table pe baitha tha, phone chala raha tha.
Main: Nina, aaja, dinner ready ho gaya hai.
Nina: Aayi!
Main kitchen mein paani ka glass lene gayi, aur wapas aayi to dekha Nina Aarav ke bagal mein baith chuki thi. Ye dekh ke mere pair jaise tham gaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si chubhan hui.
Main (man mein): Main to... Aarav ke saath baithne wali thi, par...
Nina: Kya hua, maa? Ab khana do, bhook lagi hai.
Main: Haan... haan, de rahi hu.
Maine dekha ki sirf Ankur ke bagal wali kursi khali thi. Aur main waha baithna nahi chahti thi.
Nina: Maa!
Main: Ruk, baba, de rahi hu.
Maine sabko khana parosa. Paroste waqt meri nazar ek baar Aarav se mili, par usne mujhe nahi dekha. Khadoos kahin ka!
Maine sabko khana paros diya, par abhi tak khud nahi baithi thi, kyunki Ankur ke paas baithna mujhe gawarah nahi tha.
Nina: Aap nahi baithogi?
Main: Nahi, tum sab khao, main...
Main kehte-kehte ruk gayi, kyun ki beech mein Aarav ne bola.
Aarav: Baad mein nahi, aap abhi khao.
Main (man mein): Aarav ko kaise pata chala ki main yahi kehne wali thi?
Main: Nahi, theek hai, Aarav, main baad mein...
Aarav: Aap baithiye.
Usne apni us bhaari awaaz mein bhi bade pyar se bola, aisa laga jaise mujhe order diya ho. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ye baat achi lagi.
Main: Hmm.
Main Ankur ke bagal mein nahi baithna chahti thi, par Aarav ki baat kaise taalti? Uski baat sunne ke liye mujhe wahi baithna pada. Maine kursi thodi door kheench li, taaki Ankur se dur rahu.
Hum aise baithe the mere saamne Nina, aur Ankur ke saamne Aarav. Aarav ke hote hue Ankur mujhe nahi ghoor raha tha, par uske paas baithne se hi mujhe ghin aa rahi thi. Par ab kya karti?
Sab ne khana shuru kiya. Main baar-baar Aarav ko dekhti thi, ki use kuch chahiye ya nahi, par woh khadoos mujhse kuch mang hi nahi raha tha. Par main maa hu na, mujhe to puchna hi tha.
Main: Nina, aur kuch chahiye?
Nina: Nahi, maa, mera to ho gaya.
Maine Aarav ki taraf dekha aur boli.
Main: Aur tumhe kuch chahiye, Aarav?
Aarav: Mera bhi ho gaya.
Main: Aisa nahi bolte, thoda aur khao.
Aarav: Nahi, bas...
Main: Kya bas? Kya tumhe puran poli achi nahi lagi?
Aarav: Theek hai, dijiye... par thoda sa hi.
Maine muskurate hue thodi aur puran poli uske plate mein daali.
Main: Acha laga tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Bas ek "hmm," par mujhe laga jaise usne meri taareef kar di. Dil khush ho gaya. Fir zyada baatein nahi hui. Sab ne khana khatam kiya aur apne-apne kamre mein chale gaye.
Main kamre mein aayi to Ankur mujhe aise dekh raha tha, jaise mera intezaar kar raha ho. Mujhe laga hi tha woh kuch bolega ganda sa, par maine use roka phele hi.
Main: Nahi, muh mat kholo. Main tum jaise ghatiya haiwan se baat nahi karna chahti.
Ye kehte hue main washroom chali gayi. Aaj subah se main kush thi, aur ab raat ko main chain ki neend lena chahti thi. Ankur se baat karke apni khushi barbad nahi karna chahti thi.
Chaar saalon mein shayad ye pehla din tha jab main sach mein khush thi. Main jaldi se fresh hui aur sofe pe let gayi. Aankhein band ki, par neend nahi aa rahi thi. Idhar-udhar karwate badli, par neend aankhon se koson dur thi.
Ek ghanta beet gaya, Ankur to kab ka so chuka tha.
Main (man mein): Shayad aaj dopahar Aarav ke kamre mein so gayi thi, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi. Ek minute... kya Aarav abhi jaag raha hoga? Use message karke dekhu?
Maine phone uthaya aur chadar se apne maathe tak dhak liya, taaki phone ki roshni zyada na dikhe. Fir maine WhatsApp pe Aarav ko message kiya.
Main: Aarav?
Koi jawab nahi aaya. Main is ummeed mein thi ki shayad woh jaag raha hoga. Das minute guzar gaye, par koi reply nahi. Main nirash ho gayi. Shayad Aarav so gaya tha. Phone off karne ja rahi thi ki tabhi phone vibrate hua. Dekha to Aarav ka message tha.
Meri khushi ka thikana nahi raha.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak soyi nahi?
Main: Nahi, sorry, maine tumhe disturb to nahi kiya na?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Acha, tum abhi tak kyun nahi soye?
Aarav: Main nahane gaya tha.
Main: Kyun?
Aarav: Kyun kya? Main to tabhi nahane ja raha tha, aapne hi to bola tha baad mein naha lena.
Haan, maine hi to bola tha. Main bhi na!
Main: Haan... woh, acha, tum fresh ho gaye?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: To ab sone ja rahe ho?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Oh.
Ab kya bolu, mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha. Aarav ka bhi koi reply nahi aa raha tha. Woh online to tha, par kuch bol nahi raha tha. Main bhi kuch samajh nahi pa rahi thi ki aage kya bolu. Aise hi aur das minute guzar gaye.
Par Ab mujhse raha nahi gaya, maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav.
Aarav: Maa.
Maine message bheja, aur uska bhi message aaya. Matlab hum dono ne ek saath ek dusre ko text kiya tha. Ye baat mere dil ko chhu gayi. Hum dono ek hi waqt pe ek dusre ke bare mein soch rahe the, sayad.
Main: Bolo, Aarav.
Aarav: Aap boliye.
Main: Kyun? Tum bolo. Main to hamesha baat karti rehti hu tumse. Tum hi ho jo mujhse baat nahi karte.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak kyun nahi soyi?
Main: Dopahar mein tumhare saath so gayi thi na, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi.
Aarav: Oh.
Main: Tumne mujhe kyun nahi uthaya?
Aarav: Aap so rahi thi, isliye.
Main: To kya hua? Jaga dete mujhe.
Aarav: Aap sote hue itni pyari lag rahi thi, to mujhe laga aapko jagana sahi nahi hoga.
Ye message padh ke meri ekdam se dhadkane tez ho gayi. Usne kya kaha? Main pyari lag rahi thi? Main? Mere dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi, jaise koi toofan aa gaya ho.
Main: Main... sach mein?
Aarav: Kya?
Main: Yehi jo tumne abhi kaha.
Aarav: Kon si baat?
Main: Ki main sote hue pyari lag rahi thi?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Aarav!
Aarav: Boliye?
Main: Kya... main sach mein pyari lagti hu tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Bolo.
Aarav: Haan.
Main (man mein): Hehe, hehe!
Main: Bas, haan? Aur kuch nahi?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Pehle to tum meri kitni taareef karte the. Kehte the, maa, kitni sundar lag rahi ho, kitni pyari ho. Ab to kitne saal ho gaye, tumne aisa kuch nahi kaha.
Is message pe Aarav ne koi jawab nahi diya. Maine dekha, woh offline ho gaya. Iss baat ne mere Dil mein ek dard sa utha diya.
Main: Aarav...
Main: Aarav? Offline kyun ho gaye?
Main: Aarav...
Main (man mein): Kya maine kuch galat bol diya?
Maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav! I’m sorry, agar maine kuch galat keh diya to. Bye. Good night. Raat ho rahi hai, so jao.
Main apne dard ko leke phone rakhne jaa hi rahi thi, Par tabhi Aarav online aaya, aur uska message aaya.
Aarav: Sorry... woh main washroom gaya tha.
Main: Nahi, nahi, it’s okay.
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Umm... bolo na.
Aarav: Insaan badal jate hain.
Main: Main samjhi nahi?
Aarav: Matlab, insaan ko badalna padta hai.
Uski ye baat mere dil ko kaat ke gayi, jaise koi teer chala ho.
Main: Kyun, Aarav? Insaan kyun badalte hain?
Aarav: Mujhe nahi pata.
Main: Tumhe nahi pata? Haan, kaise pata hoga, tum bhi to badal gaye ho na.
Main: Haan, tumne sahi kaha, Aarav. Kyunki tum bhi badal gaye ho.
Main: Par main... main nahi badal payi khud ko, Aarav.
Main: Main wahi ki wahi reh gayi. Samay mere liye jaise aage badha hi nahi.
Main:
Main: Good night.
Ye message bhejne ke baad maine phone rakh diya. Sach mein, main hi nahi badal payi. Sab kuch badal gaya tha, par main wahi ki wahi reh gayi thi. Neend to pehle bhi nahi aa rahi thi, ab to aur bhi nahi aayi. Ulta rona aa raha tha, apne jeevan pe, apni kismat pe.
Main khul ke ro bhi nahi sakti thi. Kaha roti? Kiske paas roti? pati ke paas, jisne mujhse sirf paiso ke liye shadi ki? Woh pati jo haiwan hai, uske paas? Jise mujhe kabhi pyar hi nahi tha? Ye Nina ke paas roti? Kya woh samjhegi mujhe?
Ye uske paas roti jisne mujhe ye dard diya?
Jab meri shadi hui thi Ankur se, main sirf ** saal ki thi. Itni chhoti umar, na maine kabhi pyar samjha tha, na kabhi kisi se pyar kiya tha. Fir bhi meri shadi Ankur se karwa di gayi. Aur shadi ke pehle din se main samajh gayi thi ki Ankur insaan nahi, ek haiwan hai.
Fir bhi maine apna patni dharma nibhaya, jisse mujhe Aarav aur Nina jaise do pyare ratan mile.
Main apni shadi se khush nahi thi, par apne dono bacchon ke liye maine har dard, har khamoshi ko seh liya.
Fir Aarav bada hua. Ek woh hi tha jo mujhe samajhta tha. Uska chehra dekh ke main apni saare biteya hua kal bhool jati thi. Aarav mere zehen mein har waqt rehta tha.
Woh mera dost tha, mera sahara, mera sab kuch. Hum dono ke beech ek aisi dosti thi, jo bina bole ek dusre ki baat samajh leti thi. Shayad har maa-bete ke rishte mein aisa nahi hota, par humare rishte mein tha. Aarav mein maine apni duniya pa li thi. Usne mujhe pyar ka ehsas dilaya, usne mere hothon pe muskaan laayi.
Par fir ek din, Aarav ne mujhse duri bana li. Ekdum se meri duniya jaise toot gayi. Mera ek matra sahara mujhse dur ho gaya tha ekdam se.
Main jo rishta dosti samajh rahi thi, woh kabhi sirf dosti thi hi nahi Woh... woh pyar tha. Haan, pyar tha. Mujhe usse pyar ho gaya tha. Na jaane kab, na jaane kaise, main khud nahi janti thi.
Ek aisa pyar jo mujhe jala raha tha, bujha raha tha, tadpa raha tha. Ek aisa pyar jo main kabhi kisi ko bata nahi sakti thi.
Mujhe... mujhe apne hi bete se pyar ho gaya tha
Aur ye baat main jaan chuki thi... Main jaan chuki thi ki mujhe apne Aarav se pyar ho gaya hai
Meri har dhadkan mein Aarav ka naam tha. Har saans mein uska chehra. Main ek maa thi, par is dil ne mujhe ek aurat bana diya tha, jo apne hi bete ke pyar mein doob gayi thi
Main ro rahi thi, bina koye aawaz kiya, chupke se, apne aap se ladte huye. Kise batati? Aarav... mera Aarav... mera pyar... meri duniya hai
Akki ❸❸❸
Well-Known Member
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Pyara UpdateAarav: Main thodi der baad aata hu, abhi yaha kaam hai.
Main: Thik hai, jaldi aana.
Aur Aarav offline ho gaya. Aaj jaise meri duniya hi badal gayi thi. Aarav mujhse baat kar raha tha, mujhese?
usne aaj itni saari baatein ki, jaise mera chaar saal purana Aarav mujhe wapas mil gaya ho. Par uska ye rukha sa swabhav mujhe chubh ta tha, dil ko dard deta tha.
Ek to usne mujhe neend se nahi uthaya, upar se bina bataye chala gaya. Main man hi man usse naraz ho gayi.
Main (man mein): Ek to tumne mujhe neend se nahi jagaya, upar se bina bataye nikal gaye. Bohot bure ho tum, Aarav. Tum mujhe zara sa bhi pyar nahi karte.
Main apni narazgi man hi man burburati rahi, tabhi Nina ne mujhe bulaya.
Main: Aa rahi hu, ruk ek minute.
Maine dekha phone ka charge kam tha, to maine use plug pe laga diya. Waise bhi main phone zyada chalati nahi thi, na tab, na ab. Do din mein ek baar charge karna hi kaafi hota tha.
Fir main bahar gayi, Nina ke paas baith gayi, aur TV dekhne lagi. Par dil bechain tha, Aarav kab aayega? Uska intezaar mujhe ek pal ke liye bhi chain nahi lene de raha tha.
Nina: Maa, bhaiya kab aayenge?
Main: Tujhe unse koi kaam tha?
Nina: Nahi, bas woh bina bataye chala gaya na, isliye puch rahi hu.
Main: Haan, usne bola thodi der baad aa raha hai.
Nina: Bhaiya ne phone kiya tha?
Main: Woh... haan, kiya tha.
Nina: Kab? Aap to yahi thi na?
Main: Woh... jab main kamre mein gayi thi na, tab usne call kiya tha.
Pata nahi kyun maine Nina se jhooth bol diya. Maine Aarav se WhatsApp pe baat ki thi, par na jaane kyun main ye baat usse chhupaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi, Aarav ke liye. jaise main kisi chiz ko chhupa rahi hu Nina se bhi apne aap se bhi.
Kuch der aise hi TV dekhte hue guzar gaya. Tabhi Ankur aaya, aur aate hi uski wahi gandi si hasi, jo mujhe hamesha se takleef deti thi, usne mere bagal mein baithne ki koshish ki. Par Main turant uthi.
Main: Nina, tu dekh, main khana bana leti hu tab tak.
Nina: Thik hai, maa.
Main kitchen ki taraf ja rahi thi ki Ankur ne mujhe roka.
Ankur: Arre, kaha ja rahi ho, Jaanvi?
Main: Sunai nahi diya? Abhi Nina ko boli na maine.
Ye kehte hue main kitchen mein chali gayi. Par jab maine peeche mudke dekha, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha.
Ek aurat ke dil mein ek ajeeb si sense hoti hai, jo batati hai ki kaun usse gandi nazar se dekhta hai aur kaun nahi. Ankur ki nazar mein wahi hawas thi, wahi gandagi, jo mujhe pehle din se hi pasand nahi thi. Par ab to mujhe usse darr lagta tha. Wahi darr, jo mujhe 19 saal pehle mehsoos hua tha.
Maine jaldi se apne aap ko sambhala aur Aarav ke bare mein sochne lagi. Ek woh hi hai, jispe mujhe bharosa hai. Mera Aarav, mera sahara. Uska chehra yaad aaya, to darr thoda kam hua.
Main (man mein): Mujhe Ankur se darr nahi lagna chahiye. Aarav abhi ghar pe hai, Ankur kuch nahi kar sakta.
Maine ek gehri saans li, par ye darr wahi tha, jo 19 saal se mere dil mein ghar kiye hue tha. Ek sadma, jo maine kabhi socha nahi tha ki zindagi mujhe de degi.
Main (man mein): Par... jab Aarav ka college shuru ho jayega, tab? Tab to woh ghar pe nahi rahega. Aur agar usi waqt Ankur ne... Deva, raksha karna!
Main (man mein): Aarav, jaldi ghar aa jao.
Main apne aap se baatein karte hue khana bana rahi thi, par baar-baar nazar Ankur pe jaati thi. Woh mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha abhi tak. Ek ajeeb si ghabrahat, ek dar mere dil mein thi. Main bas yahi chahti thi ki Aarav jaldi ghar aa jaye. Agar main uske bina rahu to mere saath kuch galat na ho jaye.
Tabhi doorbell baji. Aur mujhe pata tha ye kon hoga. Main itni jaldi se darwaza kholne daudi ki jaise meri jaan usi ke saath bandhi ho.
Darwaza khola, aur saamne Aarav tha. Maine ek rahat ki saans li, jaise dil se ek bhaari bojh utar gaya, usse dakhte hi dar kadam se chala gaya.
Main: Aarav... Aarav!
Aarav ne mujhe dekha, meri aankhon mein darr, meri saanso ki bechaini saaf dikh rahi thi.
Aarav: Kya hua?
Main: Kuch nahi... tum... tumne itni der kyun laga di? Chalo, chhodo, andar aao, jaldi.
Main jaldi se Aarav ko andar le aayi. Ek woh hi tha, jiske saamne Ankur mujhe aisi gandi nazar se nahi ghoorta tha. Nina chhoti thi, woh in baaton ko notice nahi karti, par Aarav bada tha, samajhdaar tha. Uski maujoodgi mein Ankur ki himmat nahi hoti thi mujhe aise dekhne ki.
Nina: Kon hai, maa?
Main: Tere bhaiya.
Kehte hue maine Aarav ko andar aane diya. Jaise hi Ankur ne Aarav ko dekha, uski wahi gandi, haiwani nazar gayab ho gayi. Woh ek bheegi billi ki tarah baith gaya.
Maine dekha Aarav apne kamre ki taraf ja raha tha.
Main: Aarav, yahi baith jao, khana abhi ready ho jayega.
Aarav: Baad mein kha lunga.
Aur ye kehte hue woh apne kamre mein chala gaya. Main use rok nahi payi. Kaise rokti? Kya kehti sabke samne, ki Ankur se mujhe dar lag raha hai? Main wahi khadi reh gayi, dil mein ek khali si ehsaas ke saath.
Nina: Maa, jaldi karo, bhook lagi hai!
Ankur: Haan, Jaanvi, mujhe bhi bohot bohot.. bohat bhook lagi hai.
Ankur ne fir wahi gandi nazar se mujhe dekha aur bola. Uski baat sunke mujhe gussa to aaya, par main chup rahi. Main uske saamne rehna nahi chahti thi, par kya karti?
Main: Main Aarav se puch ke aati hu woh raat mein kya khayega.
Ye bahana banake main Aarav ke kamre ki taraf chali gayi. Uska darwaza hamesha ki tarah khula tha. Main bina soche andar chali gayi, aur jo dekha, usse meri saansein ruk gayi.
Aarav upar se nanga tha, sirf pant pehni hui thi, aur woh bhi utarne wala tha. Maine jaldi se nazar pher li, mere gaal sharam se lal ho gaye. Agar ek second bhi der hoti, to shayad main use....
main peeche mudke boli.
Main: Aarav...
Meri Aawaz sunte hi Aarav hadbada gaya, shayad usne socha nahi tha ki koi abhi kamre mein aayega, par main to aa gaye thi.
Aarav: Aap... aap yaha?
Main: Umm... woh... main... tumne pant pehen liya na?
Aarav: Ek... ek minute...
Woh shayad jaldi se pant pehen raha tha. Jab usne pehen li, to usne bola.
Aarav: Boliye.
Main: Tum... tumne pant pehen li na?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Main... main peeche ghum jau?
Aarav: Hmm.
Maine dhire se peeche mudi, to dekha Aarav upar se ab bhi nanga tha, matlab shirt nahi pehni thi, par pant pehen li thi. Uska nanga badan dekhke meri saansein ek pal ke liye ruk gayi. Purushali chaudi chhati, kasa huya haath, jisme se nase bahar aa rahi thi, Mere gaal aur lal ho gaye, aur uski woh balo wali chati jiss dekh meri gaal ab to tamatar ki tarah lal ho chuki thi, dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi.
Aarav: Kuch bolna tha aapko?
Main: Haan, Aarav... woh... tum raat mein kya khayega?
Aarav: Kuch bhi bana do, kha lunga.
Main: Nahi, tum bolo, jo khana hai main bana dungi.
Aarav: Puran poli, phir.
Main: Thik hai, main wahi banaungi.
Main: Aur... woh...
Aarav mere saamne shirtless khada tha, aur main sharam se pani-pani ho rahi thi. Pata nahi usne meri lal gaalon ko dekha ya nahi, par main baat ko theek se bol nahi pa rahi thi.
Main: Aarav... tum dining table pe aao, waha baitho.
Aarav: Ho jaye to mujhe bula lena, main aa jaunga. Abhi main nahane ja raha hu.
Main: Nahi... nahi.. ruko!
Aarav: Kya? Na nahau?
Main: Nahi, mera matlab woh nahi tha.
Aarav: To phir?
Main soch mein pad gayi. Kaise batau ki Ankur mujhe gandi nazar se dekhta hai, aur uski wajah se main dari hui hu? Kaise batau ki mujhe Aarav ki zarurat hai, uski maujoodgi ki. Main bas use dekhti rahi, bebas si.
Aarav: Kya hua, maa?
Main: Aarav, main chahti hu tum dining table pe baitho abhi.
Aarav: Mujhe nahana hai abhi.
Main: Khana kha ke naha lena.
Aarav: Khana kha ke kaun nahata hai? Main ja raha hu nahane.
Ye kehte hue woh jane laga. Meri bechaini badh gayi. Maine apne pallu ko kaske pakad liya.
Main: Kya... kya main tumhare liye kuch nahi rakhti, Aarav?
Aarav ne peeche mudke dekha, meri aankhein nam thi.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Tum hamesha aisa hi karte ho mere saath. Meri ek bhi baat nahi maante. Theek hai, tum mat aao...
Main roti hui bahar jane lagi, tabhi Aarav bola.
Aarav: Theek hai, main aa raha hu.
Ye sunke mere hothon pe ek chhoti si muskaan aa gayi.
Main: Chalo...
Aarav bahar aa raha tha, par maine use rok diya.
Main: Ruko... ruko...
Aarav: Ab kya hua?
Main: Nahi, woh...
Main: Woh Nina bahar baithi hai.
Aarav : Haan, to?
Main: Tum... tum ek t-shirt pehen lo.
Hua yun tha ki Aarav bina shirt ke hi bahar aa raha tha, par Nina bhi to waha baithi thi. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ajeeb sa laga, aur maine use rok diya.
Aarav: Theek hai, aap jao, main t-shirt pehen ke aata hu.
Main: Umm, jaldi aana.
Main bahar aayi, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se dekh raha tha. Main jaldi se kitchen mein chali gayi. Par Ankur ki nazar ab bhi mujhpe thi.
Ankur: Jaanvi, jaldi khila do, kitne saalon se... mera matlab, kab se bhookha baitha hu.
Usne fir ek ghatiya baat boli. Maine gusse se daant bheench liye. Ek insaan itna ghatiya kaise ho sakta hai?
Ankur: Kya hua, Jaanvi? Mujhe nahi khilaogi?
Usne bade ghatiye tareeke se bola, par tabhi Aarav apne kamre se bahar aaya. Aarav ke aate hi Ankur ekdum chup ho gaya. Ye dekh ke mujhe dil se sukoon mila. Mera beta hai hi aisa, jo apni maujoodgi se sab theek kar deta hai.
Aarav ki maujud gi mein Maine khushi-khushi khana banaya. Aarav ki pasand ki puran poli, Nina ke liye bhi kuch banaya, uski pasand ki. Aarav dining table pe baitha tha, phone chala raha tha.
Main: Nina, aaja, dinner ready ho gaya hai.
Nina: Aayi!
Main kitchen mein paani ka glass lene gayi, aur wapas aayi to dekha Nina Aarav ke bagal mein baith chuki thi. Ye dekh ke mere pair jaise tham gaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si chubhan hui.
Main (man mein): Main to... Aarav ke saath baithne wali thi, par...
Nina: Kya hua, maa? Ab khana do, bhook lagi hai.
Main: Haan... haan, de rahi hu.
Maine dekha ki sirf Ankur ke bagal wali kursi khali thi. Aur main waha baithna nahi chahti thi.
Nina: Maa!
Main: Ruk, baba, de rahi hu.
Maine sabko khana parosa. Paroste waqt meri nazar ek baar Aarav se mili, par usne mujhe nahi dekha. Khadoos kahin ka!
Maine sabko khana paros diya, par abhi tak khud nahi baithi thi, kyunki Ankur ke paas baithna mujhe gawarah nahi tha.
Nina: Aap nahi baithogi?
Main: Nahi, tum sab khao, main...
Main kehte-kehte ruk gayi, kyun ki beech mein Aarav ne bola.
Aarav: Baad mein nahi, aap abhi khao.
Main (man mein): Aarav ko kaise pata chala ki main yahi kehne wali thi?
Main: Nahi, theek hai, Aarav, main baad mein...
Aarav: Aap baithiye.
Usne apni us bhaari awaaz mein bhi bade pyar se bola, aisa laga jaise mujhe order diya ho. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ye baat achi lagi.
Main: Hmm.
Main Ankur ke bagal mein nahi baithna chahti thi, par Aarav ki baat kaise taalti? Uski baat sunne ke liye mujhe wahi baithna pada. Maine kursi thodi door kheench li, taaki Ankur se dur rahu.
Hum aise baithe the mere saamne Nina, aur Ankur ke saamne Aarav. Aarav ke hote hue Ankur mujhe nahi ghoor raha tha, par uske paas baithne se hi mujhe ghin aa rahi thi. Par ab kya karti?
Sab ne khana shuru kiya. Main baar-baar Aarav ko dekhti thi, ki use kuch chahiye ya nahi, par woh khadoos mujhse kuch mang hi nahi raha tha. Par main maa hu na, mujhe to puchna hi tha.
Main: Nina, aur kuch chahiye?
Nina: Nahi, maa, mera to ho gaya.
Maine Aarav ki taraf dekha aur boli.
Main: Aur tumhe kuch chahiye, Aarav?
Aarav: Mera bhi ho gaya.
Main: Aisa nahi bolte, thoda aur khao.
Aarav: Nahi, bas...
Main: Kya bas? Kya tumhe puran poli achi nahi lagi?
Aarav: Theek hai, dijiye... par thoda sa hi.
Maine muskurate hue thodi aur puran poli uske plate mein daali.
Main: Acha laga tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Bas ek "hmm," par mujhe laga jaise usne meri taareef kar di. Dil khush ho gaya. Fir zyada baatein nahi hui. Sab ne khana khatam kiya aur apne-apne kamre mein chale gaye.
Main kamre mein aayi to Ankur mujhe aise dekh raha tha, jaise mera intezaar kar raha ho. Mujhe laga hi tha woh kuch bolega ganda sa, par maine use roka phele hi.
Main: Nahi, muh mat kholo. Main tum jaise ghatiya haiwan se baat nahi karna chahti.
Ye kehte hue main washroom chali gayi. Aaj subah se main kush thi, aur ab raat ko main chain ki neend lena chahti thi. Ankur se baat karke apni khushi barbad nahi karna chahti thi.
Chaar saalon mein shayad ye pehla din tha jab main sach mein khush thi. Main jaldi se fresh hui aur sofe pe let gayi. Aankhein band ki, par neend nahi aa rahi thi. Idhar-udhar karwate badli, par neend aankhon se koson dur thi.
Ek ghanta beet gaya, Ankur to kab ka so chuka tha.
Main (man mein): Shayad aaj dopahar Aarav ke kamre mein so gayi thi, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi. Ek minute... kya Aarav abhi jaag raha hoga? Use message karke dekhu?
Maine phone uthaya aur chadar se apne maathe tak dhak liya, taaki phone ki roshni zyada na dikhe. Fir maine WhatsApp pe Aarav ko message kiya.
Main: Aarav?
Koi jawab nahi aaya. Main is ummeed mein thi ki shayad woh jaag raha hoga. Das minute guzar gaye, par koi reply nahi. Main nirash ho gayi. Shayad Aarav so gaya tha. Phone off karne ja rahi thi ki tabhi phone vibrate hua. Dekha to Aarav ka message tha.
Meri khushi ka thikana nahi raha.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak soyi nahi?
Main: Nahi, sorry, maine tumhe disturb to nahi kiya na?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Acha, tum abhi tak kyun nahi soye?
Aarav: Main nahane gaya tha.
Main: Kyun?
Aarav: Kyun kya? Main to tabhi nahane ja raha tha, aapne hi to bola tha baad mein naha lena.
Haan, maine hi to bola tha. Main bhi na!
Main: Haan... woh, acha, tum fresh ho gaye?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: To ab sone ja rahe ho?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Oh.
Ab kya bolu, mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha. Aarav ka bhi koi reply nahi aa raha tha. Woh online to tha, par kuch bol nahi raha tha. Main bhi kuch samajh nahi pa rahi thi ki aage kya bolu. Aise hi aur das minute guzar gaye.
Par Ab mujhse raha nahi gaya, maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav.
Aarav: Maa.
Maine message bheja, aur uska bhi message aaya. Matlab hum dono ne ek saath ek dusre ko text kiya tha. Ye baat mere dil ko chhu gayi. Hum dono ek hi waqt pe ek dusre ke bare mein soch rahe the, sayad.
Main: Bolo, Aarav.
Aarav: Aap boliye.
Main: Kyun? Tum bolo. Main to hamesha baat karti rehti hu tumse. Tum hi ho jo mujhse baat nahi karte.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak kyun nahi soyi?
Main: Dopahar mein tumhare saath so gayi thi na, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi.
Aarav: Oh.
Main: Tumne mujhe kyun nahi uthaya?
Aarav: Aap so rahi thi, isliye.
Main: To kya hua? Jaga dete mujhe.
Aarav: Aap sote hue itni pyari lag rahi thi, to mujhe laga aapko jagana sahi nahi hoga.
Ye message padh ke meri ekdam se dhadkane tez ho gayi. Usne kya kaha? Main pyari lag rahi thi? Main? Mere dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi, jaise koi toofan aa gaya ho.
Main: Main... sach mein?
Aarav: Kya?
Main: Yehi jo tumne abhi kaha.
Aarav: Kon si baat?
Main: Ki main sote hue pyari lag rahi thi?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Aarav!
Aarav: Boliye?
Main: Kya... main sach mein pyari lagti hu tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Bolo.
Aarav: Haan.
Main (man mein): Hehe, hehe!
Main: Bas, haan? Aur kuch nahi?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Pehle to tum meri kitni taareef karte the. Kehte the, maa, kitni sundar lag rahi ho, kitni pyari ho. Ab to kitne saal ho gaye, tumne aisa kuch nahi kaha.
Is message pe Aarav ne koi jawab nahi diya. Maine dekha, woh offline ho gaya. Iss baat ne mere Dil mein ek dard sa utha diya.
Main: Aarav...
Main: Aarav? Offline kyun ho gaye?
Main: Aarav...
Main (man mein): Kya maine kuch galat bol diya?
Maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav! I’m sorry, agar maine kuch galat keh diya to. Bye. Good night. Raat ho rahi hai, so jao.
Main apne dard ko leke phone rakhne jaa hi rahi thi, Par tabhi Aarav online aaya, aur uska message aaya.
Aarav: Sorry... woh main washroom gaya tha.
Main: Nahi, nahi, it’s okay.
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Umm... bolo na.
Aarav: Insaan badal jate hain.
Main: Main samjhi nahi?
Aarav: Matlab, insaan ko badalna padta hai.
Uski ye baat mere dil ko kaat ke gayi, jaise koi teer chala ho.
Main: Kyun, Aarav? Insaan kyun badalte hain?
Aarav: Mujhe nahi pata.
Main: Tumhe nahi pata? Haan, kaise pata hoga, tum bhi to badal gaye ho na.
Main: Haan, tumne sahi kaha, Aarav. Kyunki tum bhi badal gaye ho.
Main: Par main... main nahi badal payi khud ko, Aarav.
Main: Main wahi ki wahi reh gayi. Samay mere liye jaise aage badha hi nahi.
Main:
Main: Good night.
Ye message bhejne ke baad maine phone rakh diya. Sach mein, main hi nahi badal payi. Sab kuch badal gaya tha, par main wahi ki wahi reh gayi thi. Neend to pehle bhi nahi aa rahi thi, ab to aur bhi nahi aayi. Ulta rona aa raha tha, apne jeevan pe, apni kismat pe.
Main khul ke ro bhi nahi sakti thi. Kaha roti? Kiske paas roti? pati ke paas, jisne mujhse sirf paiso ke liye shadi ki? Woh pati jo haiwan hai, uske paas? Jise mujhe kabhi pyar hi nahi tha? Ye Nina ke paas roti? Kya woh samjhegi mujhe?
Ye uske paas roti jisne mujhe ye dard diya?
Jab meri shadi hui thi Ankur se, main sirf ** saal ki thi. Itni chhoti umar, na maine kabhi pyar samjha tha, na kabhi kisi se pyar kiya tha. Fir bhi meri shadi Ankur se karwa di gayi. Aur shadi ke pehle din se main samajh gayi thi ki Ankur insaan nahi, ek haiwan hai.
Fir bhi maine apna patni dharma nibhaya, jisse mujhe Aarav aur Nina jaise do pyare ratan mile.
Main apni shadi se khush nahi thi, par apne dono bacchon ke liye maine har dard, har khamoshi ko seh liya.
Fir Aarav bada hua. Ek woh hi tha jo mujhe samajhta tha. Uska chehra dekh ke main apni saare biteya hua kal bhool jati thi. Aarav mere zehen mein har waqt rehta tha.
Woh mera dost tha, mera sahara, mera sab kuch. Hum dono ke beech ek aisi dosti thi, jo bina bole ek dusre ki baat samajh leti thi. Shayad har maa-bete ke rishte mein aisa nahi hota, par humare rishte mein tha. Aarav mein maine apni duniya pa li thi. Usne mujhe pyar ka ehsas dilaya, usne mere hothon pe muskaan laayi.
Par fir ek din, Aarav ne mujhse duri bana li. Ekdum se meri duniya jaise toot gayi. Mera ek matra sahara mujhse dur ho gaya tha ekdam se.
Main jo rishta dosti samajh rahi thi, woh kabhi sirf dosti thi hi nahi Woh... woh pyar tha. Haan, pyar tha. Mujhe usse pyar ho gaya tha. Na jaane kab, na jaane kaise, main khud nahi janti thi.
Ek aisa pyar jo mujhe jala raha tha, bujha raha tha, tadpa raha tha. Ek aisa pyar jo main kabhi kisi ko bata nahi sakti thi.
Mujhe... mujhe apne hi bete se pyar ho gaya tha
Aur ye baat main jaan chuki thi... Main jaan chuki thi ki mujhe apne Aarav se pyar ho gaya hai
Meri har dhadkan mein Aarav ka naam tha. Har saans mein uska chehra. Main ek maa thi, par is dil ne mujhe ek aurat bana diya tha, jo apne hi bete ke pyar mein doob gayi thi
Main ro rahi thi, bina koye aawaz kiya, chupke se, apne aap se ladte huye. Kise batati? Aarav... mera Aarav... mera pyar... meri duniya hai
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Shandaar update and nice storyAarav: Main thodi der baad aata hu, abhi yaha kaam hai.
Main: Thik hai, jaldi aana.
Aur Aarav offline ho gaya. Aaj jaise meri duniya hi badal gayi thi. Aarav mujhse baat kar raha tha, mujhese?
usne aaj itni saari baatein ki, jaise mera chaar saal purana Aarav mujhe wapas mil gaya ho. Par uska ye rukha sa swabhav mujhe chubh ta tha, dil ko dard deta tha.
Ek to usne mujhe neend se nahi uthaya, upar se bina bataye chala gaya. Main man hi man usse naraz ho gayi.
Main (man mein): Ek to tumne mujhe neend se nahi jagaya, upar se bina bataye nikal gaye. Bohot bure ho tum, Aarav. Tum mujhe zara sa bhi pyar nahi karte.
Main apni narazgi man hi man burburati rahi, tabhi Nina ne mujhe bulaya.
Main: Aa rahi hu, ruk ek minute.
Maine dekha phone ka charge kam tha, to maine use plug pe laga diya. Waise bhi main phone zyada chalati nahi thi, na tab, na ab. Do din mein ek baar charge karna hi kaafi hota tha.
Fir main bahar gayi, Nina ke paas baith gayi, aur TV dekhne lagi. Par dil bechain tha, Aarav kab aayega? Uska intezaar mujhe ek pal ke liye bhi chain nahi lene de raha tha.
Nina: Maa, bhaiya kab aayenge?
Main: Tujhe unse koi kaam tha?
Nina: Nahi, bas woh bina bataye chala gaya na, isliye puch rahi hu.
Main: Haan, usne bola thodi der baad aa raha hai.
Nina: Bhaiya ne phone kiya tha?
Main: Woh... haan, kiya tha.
Nina: Kab? Aap to yahi thi na?
Main: Woh... jab main kamre mein gayi thi na, tab usne call kiya tha.
Pata nahi kyun maine Nina se jhooth bol diya. Maine Aarav se WhatsApp pe baat ki thi, par na jaane kyun main ye baat usse chhupaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi, Aarav ke liye. jaise main kisi chiz ko chhupa rahi hu Nina se bhi apne aap se bhi.
Kuch der aise hi TV dekhte hue guzar gaya. Tabhi Ankur aaya, aur aate hi uski wahi gandi si hasi, jo mujhe hamesha se takleef deti thi, usne mere bagal mein baithne ki koshish ki. Par Main turant uthi.
Main: Nina, tu dekh, main khana bana leti hu tab tak.
Nina: Thik hai, maa.
Main kitchen ki taraf ja rahi thi ki Ankur ne mujhe roka.
Ankur: Arre, kaha ja rahi ho, Jaanvi?
Main: Sunai nahi diya? Abhi Nina ko boli na maine.
Ye kehte hue main kitchen mein chali gayi. Par jab maine peeche mudke dekha, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha.
Ek aurat ke dil mein ek ajeeb si sense hoti hai, jo batati hai ki kaun usse gandi nazar se dekhta hai aur kaun nahi. Ankur ki nazar mein wahi hawas thi, wahi gandagi, jo mujhe pehle din se hi pasand nahi thi. Par ab to mujhe usse darr lagta tha. Wahi darr, jo mujhe 19 saal pehle mehsoos hua tha.
Maine jaldi se apne aap ko sambhala aur Aarav ke bare mein sochne lagi. Ek woh hi hai, jispe mujhe bharosa hai. Mera Aarav, mera sahara. Uska chehra yaad aaya, to darr thoda kam hua.
Main (man mein): Mujhe Ankur se darr nahi lagna chahiye. Aarav abhi ghar pe hai, Ankur kuch nahi kar sakta.
Maine ek gehri saans li, par ye darr wahi tha, jo 19 saal se mere dil mein ghar kiye hue tha. Ek sadma, jo maine kabhi socha nahi tha ki zindagi mujhe de degi.
Main (man mein): Par... jab Aarav ka college shuru ho jayega, tab? Tab to woh ghar pe nahi rahega. Aur agar usi waqt Ankur ne... Deva, raksha karna!
Main (man mein): Aarav, jaldi ghar aa jao.
Main apne aap se baatein karte hue khana bana rahi thi, par baar-baar nazar Ankur pe jaati thi. Woh mujhe wahi gandi nazar se ghoor raha tha abhi tak. Ek ajeeb si ghabrahat, ek dar mere dil mein thi. Main bas yahi chahti thi ki Aarav jaldi ghar aa jaye. Agar main uske bina rahu to mere saath kuch galat na ho jaye.
Tabhi doorbell baji. Aur mujhe pata tha ye kon hoga. Main itni jaldi se darwaza kholne daudi ki jaise meri jaan usi ke saath bandhi ho.
Darwaza khola, aur saamne Aarav tha. Maine ek rahat ki saans li, jaise dil se ek bhaari bojh utar gaya, usse dakhte hi dar kadam se chala gaya.
Main: Aarav... Aarav!
Aarav ne mujhe dekha, meri aankhon mein darr, meri saanso ki bechaini saaf dikh rahi thi.
Aarav: Kya hua?
Main: Kuch nahi... tum... tumne itni der kyun laga di? Chalo, chhodo, andar aao, jaldi.
Main jaldi se Aarav ko andar le aayi. Ek woh hi tha, jiske saamne Ankur mujhe aisi gandi nazar se nahi ghoorta tha. Nina chhoti thi, woh in baaton ko notice nahi karti, par Aarav bada tha, samajhdaar tha. Uski maujoodgi mein Ankur ki himmat nahi hoti thi mujhe aise dekhne ki.
Nina: Kon hai, maa?
Main: Tere bhaiya.
Kehte hue maine Aarav ko andar aane diya. Jaise hi Ankur ne Aarav ko dekha, uski wahi gandi, haiwani nazar gayab ho gayi. Woh ek bheegi billi ki tarah baith gaya.
Maine dekha Aarav apne kamre ki taraf ja raha tha.
Main: Aarav, yahi baith jao, khana abhi ready ho jayega.
Aarav: Baad mein kha lunga.
Aur ye kehte hue woh apne kamre mein chala gaya. Main use rok nahi payi. Kaise rokti? Kya kehti sabke samne, ki Ankur se mujhe dar lag raha hai? Main wahi khadi reh gayi, dil mein ek khali si ehsaas ke saath.
Nina: Maa, jaldi karo, bhook lagi hai!
Ankur: Haan, Jaanvi, mujhe bhi bohot bohot.. bohat bhook lagi hai.
Ankur ne fir wahi gandi nazar se mujhe dekha aur bola. Uski baat sunke mujhe gussa to aaya, par main chup rahi. Main uske saamne rehna nahi chahti thi, par kya karti?
Main: Main Aarav se puch ke aati hu woh raat mein kya khayega.
Ye bahana banake main Aarav ke kamre ki taraf chali gayi. Uska darwaza hamesha ki tarah khula tha. Main bina soche andar chali gayi, aur jo dekha, usse meri saansein ruk gayi.
Aarav upar se nanga tha, sirf pant pehni hui thi, aur woh bhi utarne wala tha. Maine jaldi se nazar pher li, mere gaal sharam se lal ho gaye. Agar ek second bhi der hoti, to shayad main use....
main peeche mudke boli.
Main: Aarav...
Meri Aawaz sunte hi Aarav hadbada gaya, shayad usne socha nahi tha ki koi abhi kamre mein aayega, par main to aa gaye thi.
Aarav: Aap... aap yaha?
Main: Umm... woh... main... tumne pant pehen liya na?
Aarav: Ek... ek minute...
Woh shayad jaldi se pant pehen raha tha. Jab usne pehen li, to usne bola.
Aarav: Boliye.
Main: Tum... tumne pant pehen li na?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Main... main peeche ghum jau?
Aarav: Hmm.
Maine dhire se peeche mudi, to dekha Aarav upar se ab bhi nanga tha, matlab shirt nahi pehni thi, par pant pehen li thi. Uska nanga badan dekhke meri saansein ek pal ke liye ruk gayi. Purushali chaudi chhati, kasa huya haath, jisme se nase bahar aa rahi thi, Mere gaal aur lal ho gaye, aur uski woh balo wali chati jiss dekh meri gaal ab to tamatar ki tarah lal ho chuki thi, dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi.
Aarav: Kuch bolna tha aapko?
Main: Haan, Aarav... woh... tum raat mein kya khayega?
Aarav: Kuch bhi bana do, kha lunga.
Main: Nahi, tum bolo, jo khana hai main bana dungi.
Aarav: Puran poli, phir.
Main: Thik hai, main wahi banaungi.
Main: Aur... woh...
Aarav mere saamne shirtless khada tha, aur main sharam se pani-pani ho rahi thi. Pata nahi usne meri lal gaalon ko dekha ya nahi, par main baat ko theek se bol nahi pa rahi thi.
Main: Aarav... tum dining table pe aao, waha baitho.
Aarav: Ho jaye to mujhe bula lena, main aa jaunga. Abhi main nahane ja raha hu.
Main: Nahi... nahi.. ruko!
Aarav: Kya? Na nahau?
Main: Nahi, mera matlab woh nahi tha.
Aarav: To phir?
Main soch mein pad gayi. Kaise batau ki Ankur mujhe gandi nazar se dekhta hai, aur uski wajah se main dari hui hu? Kaise batau ki mujhe Aarav ki zarurat hai, uski maujoodgi ki. Main bas use dekhti rahi, bebas si.
Aarav: Kya hua, maa?
Main: Aarav, main chahti hu tum dining table pe baitho abhi.
Aarav: Mujhe nahana hai abhi.
Main: Khana kha ke naha lena.
Aarav: Khana kha ke kaun nahata hai? Main ja raha hu nahane.
Ye kehte hue woh jane laga. Meri bechaini badh gayi. Maine apne pallu ko kaske pakad liya.
Main: Kya... kya main tumhare liye kuch nahi rakhti, Aarav?
Aarav ne peeche mudke dekha, meri aankhein nam thi.
Aarav: Aap...
Main: Tum hamesha aisa hi karte ho mere saath. Meri ek bhi baat nahi maante. Theek hai, tum mat aao...
Main roti hui bahar jane lagi, tabhi Aarav bola.
Aarav: Theek hai, main aa raha hu.
Ye sunke mere hothon pe ek chhoti si muskaan aa gayi.
Main: Chalo...
Aarav bahar aa raha tha, par maine use rok diya.
Main: Ruko... ruko...
Aarav: Ab kya hua?
Main: Nahi, woh...
Main: Woh Nina bahar baithi hai.
Aarav : Haan, to?
Main: Tum... tum ek t-shirt pehen lo.
Hua yun tha ki Aarav bina shirt ke hi bahar aa raha tha, par Nina bhi to waha baithi thi. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ajeeb sa laga, aur maine use rok diya.
Aarav: Theek hai, aap jao, main t-shirt pehen ke aata hu.
Main: Umm, jaldi aana.
Main bahar aayi, to Ankur mujhe wahi gandi nazar se dekh raha tha. Main jaldi se kitchen mein chali gayi. Par Ankur ki nazar ab bhi mujhpe thi.
Ankur: Jaanvi, jaldi khila do, kitne saalon se... mera matlab, kab se bhookha baitha hu.
Usne fir ek ghatiya baat boli. Maine gusse se daant bheench liye. Ek insaan itna ghatiya kaise ho sakta hai?
Ankur: Kya hua, Jaanvi? Mujhe nahi khilaogi?
Usne bade ghatiye tareeke se bola, par tabhi Aarav apne kamre se bahar aaya. Aarav ke aate hi Ankur ekdum chup ho gaya. Ye dekh ke mujhe dil se sukoon mila. Mera beta hai hi aisa, jo apni maujoodgi se sab theek kar deta hai.
Aarav ki maujud gi mein Maine khushi-khushi khana banaya. Aarav ki pasand ki puran poli, Nina ke liye bhi kuch banaya, uski pasand ki. Aarav dining table pe baitha tha, phone chala raha tha.
Main: Nina, aaja, dinner ready ho gaya hai.
Nina: Aayi!
Main kitchen mein paani ka glass lene gayi, aur wapas aayi to dekha Nina Aarav ke bagal mein baith chuki thi. Ye dekh ke mere pair jaise tham gaye. Dil mein ek ajeeb si chubhan hui.
Main (man mein): Main to... Aarav ke saath baithne wali thi, par...
Nina: Kya hua, maa? Ab khana do, bhook lagi hai.
Main: Haan... haan, de rahi hu.
Maine dekha ki sirf Ankur ke bagal wali kursi khali thi. Aur main waha baithna nahi chahti thi.
Nina: Maa!
Main: Ruk, baba, de rahi hu.
Maine sabko khana parosa. Paroste waqt meri nazar ek baar Aarav se mili, par usne mujhe nahi dekha. Khadoos kahin ka!
Maine sabko khana paros diya, par abhi tak khud nahi baithi thi, kyunki Ankur ke paas baithna mujhe gawarah nahi tha.
Nina: Aap nahi baithogi?
Main: Nahi, tum sab khao, main...
Main kehte-kehte ruk gayi, kyun ki beech mein Aarav ne bola.
Aarav: Baad mein nahi, aap abhi khao.
Main (man mein): Aarav ko kaise pata chala ki main yahi kehne wali thi?
Main: Nahi, theek hai, Aarav, main baad mein...
Aarav: Aap baithiye.
Usne apni us bhaari awaaz mein bhi bade pyar se bola, aisa laga jaise mujhe order diya ho. Pata nahi kyun, mujhe ye baat achi lagi.
Main: Hmm.
Main Ankur ke bagal mein nahi baithna chahti thi, par Aarav ki baat kaise taalti? Uski baat sunne ke liye mujhe wahi baithna pada. Maine kursi thodi door kheench li, taaki Ankur se dur rahu.
Hum aise baithe the mere saamne Nina, aur Ankur ke saamne Aarav. Aarav ke hote hue Ankur mujhe nahi ghoor raha tha, par uske paas baithne se hi mujhe ghin aa rahi thi. Par ab kya karti?
Sab ne khana shuru kiya. Main baar-baar Aarav ko dekhti thi, ki use kuch chahiye ya nahi, par woh khadoos mujhse kuch mang hi nahi raha tha. Par main maa hu na, mujhe to puchna hi tha.
Main: Nina, aur kuch chahiye?
Nina: Nahi, maa, mera to ho gaya.
Maine Aarav ki taraf dekha aur boli.
Main: Aur tumhe kuch chahiye, Aarav?
Aarav: Mera bhi ho gaya.
Main: Aisa nahi bolte, thoda aur khao.
Aarav: Nahi, bas...
Main: Kya bas? Kya tumhe puran poli achi nahi lagi?
Aarav: Theek hai, dijiye... par thoda sa hi.
Maine muskurate hue thodi aur puran poli uske plate mein daali.
Main: Acha laga tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Bas ek "hmm," par mujhe laga jaise usne meri taareef kar di. Dil khush ho gaya. Fir zyada baatein nahi hui. Sab ne khana khatam kiya aur apne-apne kamre mein chale gaye.
Main kamre mein aayi to Ankur mujhe aise dekh raha tha, jaise mera intezaar kar raha ho. Mujhe laga hi tha woh kuch bolega ganda sa, par maine use roka phele hi.
Main: Nahi, muh mat kholo. Main tum jaise ghatiya haiwan se baat nahi karna chahti.
Ye kehte hue main washroom chali gayi. Aaj subah se main kush thi, aur ab raat ko main chain ki neend lena chahti thi. Ankur se baat karke apni khushi barbad nahi karna chahti thi.
Chaar saalon mein shayad ye pehla din tha jab main sach mein khush thi. Main jaldi se fresh hui aur sofe pe let gayi. Aankhein band ki, par neend nahi aa rahi thi. Idhar-udhar karwate badli, par neend aankhon se koson dur thi.
Ek ghanta beet gaya, Ankur to kab ka so chuka tha.
Main (man mein): Shayad aaj dopahar Aarav ke kamre mein so gayi thi, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi. Ek minute... kya Aarav abhi jaag raha hoga? Use message karke dekhu?
Maine phone uthaya aur chadar se apne maathe tak dhak liya, taaki phone ki roshni zyada na dikhe. Fir maine WhatsApp pe Aarav ko message kiya.
Main: Aarav?
Koi jawab nahi aaya. Main is ummeed mein thi ki shayad woh jaag raha hoga. Das minute guzar gaye, par koi reply nahi. Main nirash ho gayi. Shayad Aarav so gaya tha. Phone off karne ja rahi thi ki tabhi phone vibrate hua. Dekha to Aarav ka message tha.
Meri khushi ka thikana nahi raha.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak soyi nahi?
Main: Nahi, sorry, maine tumhe disturb to nahi kiya na?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Acha, tum abhi tak kyun nahi soye?
Aarav: Main nahane gaya tha.
Main: Kyun?
Aarav: Kyun kya? Main to tabhi nahane ja raha tha, aapne hi to bola tha baad mein naha lena.
Haan, maine hi to bola tha. Main bhi na!
Main: Haan... woh, acha, tum fresh ho gaye?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: To ab sone ja rahe ho?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Oh.
Ab kya bolu, mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha. Aarav ka bhi koi reply nahi aa raha tha. Woh online to tha, par kuch bol nahi raha tha. Main bhi kuch samajh nahi pa rahi thi ki aage kya bolu. Aise hi aur das minute guzar gaye.
Par Ab mujhse raha nahi gaya, maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav.
Aarav: Maa.
Maine message bheja, aur uska bhi message aaya. Matlab hum dono ne ek saath ek dusre ko text kiya tha. Ye baat mere dil ko chhu gayi. Hum dono ek hi waqt pe ek dusre ke bare mein soch rahe the, sayad.
Main: Bolo, Aarav.
Aarav: Aap boliye.
Main: Kyun? Tum bolo. Main to hamesha baat karti rehti hu tumse. Tum hi ho jo mujhse baat nahi karte.
Aarav: Aap abhi tak kyun nahi soyi?
Main: Dopahar mein tumhare saath so gayi thi na, isliye ab neend nahi aa rahi.
Aarav: Oh.
Main: Tumne mujhe kyun nahi uthaya?
Aarav: Aap so rahi thi, isliye.
Main: To kya hua? Jaga dete mujhe.
Aarav: Aap sote hue itni pyari lag rahi thi, to mujhe laga aapko jagana sahi nahi hoga.
Ye message padh ke meri ekdam se dhadkane tez ho gayi. Usne kya kaha? Main pyari lag rahi thi? Main? Mere dil mein ek ajeeb si hulchul uthi, jaise koi toofan aa gaya ho.
Main: Main... sach mein?
Aarav: Kya?
Main: Yehi jo tumne abhi kaha.
Aarav: Kon si baat?
Main: Ki main sote hue pyari lag rahi thi?
Aarav: Haan.
Main: Aarav!
Aarav: Boliye?
Main: Kya... main sach mein pyari lagti hu tumhe?
Aarav: Hmm.
Main: Bolo.
Aarav: Haan.
Main (man mein): Hehe, hehe!
Main: Bas, haan? Aur kuch nahi?
Aarav: Nahi.
Main: Pehle to tum meri kitni taareef karte the. Kehte the, maa, kitni sundar lag rahi ho, kitni pyari ho. Ab to kitne saal ho gaye, tumne aisa kuch nahi kaha.
Is message pe Aarav ne koi jawab nahi diya. Maine dekha, woh offline ho gaya. Iss baat ne mere Dil mein ek dard sa utha diya.
Main: Aarav...
Main: Aarav? Offline kyun ho gaye?
Main: Aarav...
Main (man mein): Kya maine kuch galat bol diya?
Maine fir se message kiya.
Main: Aarav! I’m sorry, agar maine kuch galat keh diya to. Bye. Good night. Raat ho rahi hai, so jao.
Main apne dard ko leke phone rakhne jaa hi rahi thi, Par tabhi Aarav online aaya, aur uska message aaya.
Aarav: Sorry... woh main washroom gaya tha.
Main: Nahi, nahi, it’s okay.
Aarav: Maa!
Main: Umm... bolo na.
Aarav: Insaan badal jate hain.
Main: Main samjhi nahi?
Aarav: Matlab, insaan ko badalna padta hai.
Uski ye baat mere dil ko kaat ke gayi, jaise koi teer chala ho.
Main: Kyun, Aarav? Insaan kyun badalte hain?
Aarav: Mujhe nahi pata.
Main: Tumhe nahi pata? Haan, kaise pata hoga, tum bhi to badal gaye ho na.
Main: Haan, tumne sahi kaha, Aarav. Kyunki tum bhi badal gaye ho.
Main: Par main... main nahi badal payi khud ko, Aarav.
Main: Main wahi ki wahi reh gayi. Samay mere liye jaise aage badha hi nahi.
Main:
Main: Good night.
Ye message bhejne ke baad maine phone rakh diya. Sach mein, main hi nahi badal payi. Sab kuch badal gaya tha, par main wahi ki wahi reh gayi thi. Neend to pehle bhi nahi aa rahi thi, ab to aur bhi nahi aayi. Ulta rona aa raha tha, apne jeevan pe, apni kismat pe.
Main khul ke ro bhi nahi sakti thi. Kaha roti? Kiske paas roti? pati ke paas, jisne mujhse sirf paiso ke liye shadi ki? Woh pati jo haiwan hai, uske paas? Jise mujhe kabhi pyar hi nahi tha? Ye Nina ke paas roti? Kya woh samjhegi mujhe?
Ye uske paas roti jisne mujhe ye dard diya?
Jab meri shadi hui thi Ankur se, main sirf ** saal ki thi. Itni chhoti umar, na maine kabhi pyar samjha tha, na kabhi kisi se pyar kiya tha. Fir bhi meri shadi Ankur se karwa di gayi. Aur shadi ke pehle din se main samajh gayi thi ki Ankur insaan nahi, ek haiwan hai.
Fir bhi maine apna patni dharma nibhaya, jisse mujhe Aarav aur Nina jaise do pyare ratan mile.
Main apni shadi se khush nahi thi, par apne dono bacchon ke liye maine har dard, har khamoshi ko seh liya.
Fir Aarav bada hua. Ek woh hi tha jo mujhe samajhta tha. Uska chehra dekh ke main apni saare biteya hua kal bhool jati thi. Aarav mere zehen mein har waqt rehta tha.
Woh mera dost tha, mera sahara, mera sab kuch. Hum dono ke beech ek aisi dosti thi, jo bina bole ek dusre ki baat samajh leti thi. Shayad har maa-bete ke rishte mein aisa nahi hota, par humare rishte mein tha. Aarav mein maine apni duniya pa li thi. Usne mujhe pyar ka ehsas dilaya, usne mere hothon pe muskaan laayi.
Par fir ek din, Aarav ne mujhse duri bana li. Ekdum se meri duniya jaise toot gayi. Mera ek matra sahara mujhse dur ho gaya tha ekdam se.
Main jo rishta dosti samajh rahi thi, woh kabhi sirf dosti thi hi nahi Woh... woh pyar tha. Haan, pyar tha. Mujhe usse pyar ho gaya tha. Na jaane kab, na jaane kaise, main khud nahi janti thi.
Ek aisa pyar jo mujhe jala raha tha, bujha raha tha, tadpa raha tha. Ek aisa pyar jo main kabhi kisi ko bata nahi sakti thi.
Mujhe... mujhe apne hi bete se pyar ho gaya tha
Aur ye baat main jaan chuki thi... Main jaan chuki thi ki mujhe apne Aarav se pyar ho gaya hai
Meri har dhadkan mein Aarav ka naam tha. Har saans mein uska chehra. Main ek maa thi, par is dil ne mujhe ek aurat bana diya tha, jo apne hi bete ke pyar mein doob gayi thi
Main ro rahi thi, bina koye aawaz kiya, chupke se, apne aap se ladte huye. Kise batati? Aarav... mera Aarav... mera pyar... meri duniya hai