Chapter 1 ~~ (Jhagda aur tank-Jhank)
Hathkadiyun ki chain se bandhe per aur hath aur safed kapdon ke niche apna mota sa badan chupaye vo shaks dhire-dhire aage badhte hue kathgadhe mein aa khada hua. " jethalal champaklal gada hazir ho " court mein zor se awaz ayi.
" ane ke baad kya chillata hai, chup " judge ne use dant kar chup karaya. Jethalal champaklal gada, chehre par choti muche aur bhari vajan ke sath kathghade mein khada tha.
" judge sahab, ek kurschi milegi vo kya hai na mujhse jada der khada nahi hua jayega " jethalal ke bolte hi court room mein hansi chhut gayi.
" order, order 5 star hotelmein aye nahi khade ho tum karwahi ho rahi hai tum par aur ye kya khujaye jaa rhe ho " judge chillaya.
" kya karun sahab vo do din se nahaya nahi andar ka maal andar reh gaya to khujli par khujli hue jaa rahi hai " jethalal apne lund ko khujate hue bola jise sun sab hans pade.
" order, order maal kaisa maal "
" vo.. vo... jane dijeye judge sahab idhar ladiez log bhi hai "
" dhire se bata do "
" aap keh rahe hain to bata deta hun, wahi maal jo aap bhabhiji ke na hone par nikalte ho " jethalal ke kehte hi ek bar fir sab hans pade aur judge khisiya gaya.
" order order, case ki karwahi shuru ki jaye " judje ke kehte hi vakeel khada hua jo wahan maujud ek hi vakeel tha aur jethalal ki taraf se koi nahi tha. Vakeel samne aya judge ke aage jhuka aur bolna shuru hua.
" my lord jis shaks ko aap dekh rahe hain, dhayan se dekhiye " judge bhi dekhne laga " dhayan se dekhiye is choti munch wale admi ko jiski shakal bahut bholi hai par vo hai nahi "
" han khujane se malum hota hai " judge ke kehte hi jethalal ne khujana band kiya.
" my lord ye insan jis powder gully ki society mein rehta hai wahan par isne atank macha rakha hai judge sahab atank "
" tum atangwadi ho? " judge bola
" nahi my lawrd mein to bas jalebi fafda ka shaukeen hun "
" jhooth " vakeel bola
" jhooth nahi sach bas thoda rasila hun judge sahab mein thoda rasila "
" tumhe kaun sa ras pasand hai mein sab samajh raha hun " judge ki baat par sab hasne lage aur usne hathoda maar kar shant karaya. " vakeel aage ras baaho mera matlab hai bolo "
" my lord is insan par ilzam lagaya hai khud inhi ki society mein rehne wale logon ne aur yakeen maniye ilzam itne sare hain ki shayad mei hi bolte hue thak jaun "
" inki jagah koi aur lekar aao " judge ne tana mara.
" mere kehne ka vo matlab nahi tha, main bas yahi batana chahta hun ki ye insan ek number ka dhokebaaz, dagabaz, chichora, awara, auratbaaz, muthbaaz, chodubaaz "
" bas bas mein samajh gaya tum aage batao, aur thoda mahilaon ka saman karo wo bhi baithi hai idhar " judge ne pen se likha par vo chalna band hua to use ragadne laga.
" darandigi itni hai ki shabd muh se nikal hi gaye judge sahab. Main apke samne is admi ke khilaf kuch sabut lekar aya hun "
" to pesh karo ya chupa kar rakhoge "
" vo yahin maujud hai isi court room mein aur vo koi aur nahi balki society ke rehne wale nivasi hai. Mein sabse pehle society ke secretary Atmaram tukram bhide aur unki biwi madhvi ko bulana chahta hun "
" Atamaram tukaram bhide, Madhvi bhide hazirr ho "
" tatte hila diye isne bhi " judge kaan band karte hue bola. Jethala bhide ko dekh khisaya jata hai par madhvi ke kandhe jo selevless blouse se bahar nikal rahi thi aur uski sarre se jhankte uski chatiyun par jeebh feerane laga.
" to mr. bhide aap yahan kaise aye hain "
" auto se aye hain vakeel sahab vo bhi pure 35rs kharch karke "
" mere kehne ka matlab ki aap yahan kyun aye hain "
" kyun ki mein ek jimmewar shikshak hun judge sahab, mein time par har jagah pahunch kar samay ka ansushan karna janta hun "
" main apse puch raha hun ki aap yahan kyun aye hain.aap yahan jethalal ke bare mein batane aye hain "
" ohh han, judge sahab jethalal aisa insan hai jise samay ki koi value nahi. Har baar manitaince cheque late deta hai. Iska bacha jo isne apne pani se janma hai vo ek number ka lehar hai judge sahab lehar, kahin bhi jakar gila kar deta hai. Ek number ka shaitani aulad hai "
" chup be " jethalal bol pada.
" aaeee dekha judge sahab apne dekha ise "
" jethalal tum chup be nahi bol sakte "
" shorry judge sahab par vo kya hai na mere pairon mein bada dard hai aur ye bhide tabse bol raha hai to socha thodi der ek kurchi mangwa de to mein baith jaun "
" ek bar aur kursi mangi to saza mein ye likh dunga ki kabhi tumhare hath niche na ja paye samjhe " jethalal judge ki baat sun chup ho gaya.
" thank you my lord to mr bhide ye bataiyiye ki jethalal kitna ladta hai " vakeel bola.
" ladta.. are vakeel sahab jethalal sirf ladta nahi balki gandi gandi galiyan deta hai, aap sochiye aurton ke bich aise shabdon ka upyog karna? Meri patni madhvi kabi kabar achar banate banate un galiyun ka matlab hakikat mein nikalne lag jati hai " bhide ke bolte hi sab hasne lage. Madhvi ne bhide ko koni de mari.
" aap jaa sakte hain " vakeel ke kehte hi dono chale gaye, " ab mein bhide ke padosi aur wahan rehne wale ek aur member mr roshan sodhi aur roshan ko bulana chahta hun "
" roshan sodhi aur roshan hazir hon " vo admi fir chillaya.
" muh mein tatte ghusa tu kitni unchi awaz hai teri " judge bol utha.
" to mr sodhi ye bataiye ki aap kya karte hain "
" oo ji mein karta hun apni biwi se pyar " sodhi utshah mein bola aur sab hans pade.
" mera matlab hai ki aap kya karte hain "
" bola to apko apni biwi se pyar har raat " ek baar fir sab hans pade.
" oo paji main puch raha hun aap kaam kya karte ho "
" din mein garagae mei gaddi theek karta hun aur raat mein apni bholi soni roshan ko theek karta hun ji " sodhi ke jawab par fir sab hasne lage, judge bhi apna lund masalne laga.
" mr sodhi jethalal ko to aap jante hi hain kya batana chahenge inke bare mein "
" jethalal aur iska beta tapu dono ne jeena haram kar rakha hai judge sahab. Din raat hum apna chhod kar inke chakron mein pade rehte hain "
" yani vo apke kaam mein nuksan dete hain? "
" nuksan? vakeel sahab nuksan to mein seh leta lekin mere khade hue auzar ka jo nuksan hota hai uska kaun hissab dega. Itni mushkil se apni voti ko manata hun aur in dono ki wajah se mera auzar khada reh jata hai " sodhi ke jawab par sab hans diye.
" ab sara din khada lekar ghumega to yahi hoga na, judge sahab is admi ko daru aur voti ke alawa kuch dikhta nahi. Uppar se pita hai bich mein se pelta hai aur niche se nikalta hai isko aur koi kaam hi nahi hai " jethalal khisyate hue bola jise sun sab hans pade.
" ooo jethalal kya bola " sodhi bhadka
" order order, mr sodhi aap gussa karenge to raat vala kaam nahi kar payenge, samjhao bhai ise " judge ne vakeel se kaha " jethalal tum agar ek baar bhi bich mein bole to is baar tumhari lohe ki janzire hath per ki jagah kahin aur hogi "
" kahan hogi "
" tumhare auzar par " judge ki baat sun jethalal ek dum chup ho gaya.
" my lord ab mein apke samne ek aisi jodi ko lane jaa raha hun jo apko jethalal ki makari aur uski fitrat ke bare mein batayenge, mein chahta hun ki Babita aur Krishnan Iyer kathghare mein shamil ho " vakeel ne kaha to piche se uthi purple sare mein patli si ladki ek purple ful laga kar. Selvless blouse matkhani chaal, jethalal ne use ankhon se bina kapdon ke kathghar tak lakar khada kiya aur apni ankhon se use wahan nanga hi khada hua mehsus karta raha jab tak ek awaz ne uska dhayan nahi tod diya.
" bas ab kya yahin lega " judge uski hi taraf dekh raha tha. Jethalal ne apne dant samne kar diye.
" han to iyer sahab bataiye ki jethalal se apka kaisa sambhand hai "
" vo kya hai na inko hindi nahi ati jawab mein de sakti hun? " babita bich mein boli
" ji beshak aap bataiye kaise sambhand hai apke "
" aap dono pati patni hai " judge ne pani ka ghunt bharte hue sawal kiya.
" ji... " jawab iyer ne diya.
" sambhand galat hai is society mein bahut " judge ne apna lund masalte hue kaha.
" boliye babitaji " vakeel bola.
" vaise to sambhand bahut jada hai " babita ke kehte hi jethalal ki chehre par hansi cha gayi " lekin sirf tu-tu mein-mein ki " aur jaldi hi hansi chali gayi " jethalal sara waqt society mein tu-tu mein-mein karte hi rehte hain aur na jane kyun har waqt apni nazrein hamare hi flat ki taraf rakhte hain " babita adaon se jawab de rahi thi.
" kyun? aisa kyun jethalal wahan kyun dekhte ho "
" vo sambhand galat hai na "
" kya matlab "
" abhi apne kaha ki vo sambhand galat hai to bas mien bhi isliye udhar dekhta hun asli sambhand banane ke liye " jethalal ki baat sun sab hasne lage.
" main kathghare mein nahi hun tum ho jawab sidhe sidhe do kyun dekhte ho udhar "
" vo mein.. jahan saman dikhta hai wahan dekhta hun bas "
" saman? kaun sa saman? "
" apne mujhe saman kaha jethalal?" babita bola.
" tu..mne meri.. wife ko... saman bola " iyer tuti hindi mein bola.
" saman to tum ho iyer " jethalal dhimi awaz mein bola.
" kuch bole tum? " judge bola.
" nahi kuch nahi "
" thek hai next " judge ke bolne ke baad sab atte-jatte gaye jo jaa chuke the vo fir aye aur jethalal ki baja kar chale gaye. Ghatno dalele chali jethalal ne apne paksh mein khud hi bola aur ant mein faisle ki ghadi ayi.
" ye adalat sabhi sabuton aur gawahon ko dekhte hue jethalal chamaklal gada ko 14 saal ki kadi saza dete hue salakhon ke piche dalti hai "
" naaahiiiiiiiiiiiii " jethalal chillata hai aur uski ankh khul jati hai. " baap re kitna bhayanak sapna tha " hafte hue vo bola " par jis tarah ki meri biwi aur beta hai ye sapna sach hone mein jada samay nahi lagne wala aaahhh, uth kar naha hi leta hun ab kya fayda so kar... " vo uthne ko hota hai " uthne se pehle ek bar muth maar lun, babita to sapne mein bhi maal lag rahi thi " pajame ka nada dhila kar vo apna lund hilate hue sapne wali babita ki soch mein kho jata hai.
Darji bhai 
