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Aarav chala gaya. Na usne kuchh bola, na meri baat suni. Bas chup chap se ek dish uthaya aur chala gaya. Aise hi, bina kuchh kahe. Maine pura din uske liye khana banaya tha, dil se dil tak, har ek dish mein apna pyar daala tha, uske liye.
Par usne to bas ek dish liya aur darwaza band karke apne kamre mein chala gaya. Haan, yeh maan ti hu, subah maine usse daanta tha. Par ek maa ka haq nahi hota kya apne bete ko daantna?
Par uski chuppi, uski woh doori... yeh dil ko chubh rahi thi. Ek aisa dard jo shayad sirf ek maa hi samajh sakti hai, ya shayad... kuchh aisa jo main kabhi bol nahi sakti.
Nina: Maa, aapko bura laga? Bhaiya aise...
Mein: Nahi, Nina. Subah maine usse daanta tha na, shayad isliye naraz hai. Ab woh bada ho gaya hai, usse aise daantna achha bhi nahi lagta.
Nina: Aap khana nahi khaogi?
Mein: Nahi, abhi bhookh nahi hai.
Nina: Par maa, aapne to subah se kuchh nahi khaya
Mein: Nina, maine kaha na, bhookh nahi hai. Tu kha le.
Nina: Maa, aap bhi to bhaiya jaisi zidd kar rahi ho.
Mein: Arre, main koi chhoti bacchi hoon kya? Tu kha na.
Nina: Aap sach mein...
Mein: Nina, tu bhi na! Chal, main khula deti hoon tujhe aaj.
Nina: Arre nahi, nahi! Main kha loongi.
Nina khana khaane baith gayi, aur main wahi uske paas baithi rahi. Bahar se to main wahi thi, par andar se mera dil Aarav ke paas tha. Uski woh chuppi, uska mujhse door jana... har pal ek sawaal ban ke dil mein chubh raha tha. Kya maine usse itna bura laga diya?
Nina: Main sone ja rahi hoon, maa. Aap bhi so jao.
Mein: Haan, bartan saaf kar leti hoon, phir so jaungi.
Nina: Aap thik ho na?
Maine hansne ki koshish ki, ek jhoothi si hansi.
Mein: Haan, bhala mujhe kya hoga?
Par shayad Nina meri jhoothi hansi ke peeche ka dard dekh chuki thi.
Nina: Nahi, woh bhaiya ke wajah se aap udaas ho.
Mein: Main kyun udaas houngi? Jise meri parwah nahi, uski parwah main kyun karoon?
Nina: Oh, sach mein?
Mein: Aur nahi to kya?
Nina: Achha, to phir aap khana kyun nahi kha rahi ho?
Mein: Tu na, bahut bak-bak karti hai! Ja, so ja, raat ho rahi hai.
Nina: Haan, jaati hoon. Par aap bhi so jana, maa.
Nina apne kamre mein chali gayi. Maine bartan uthaye aur dhone lagi, par mera dil kahi aur tha. Aarav. Uska chehra, uski woh aankhein jo kabhi mujhe dekhte hi muskura uththi thi, aaj mujhse baat tak nahi kar rahi thi. Ek ajeeb si bechaini thi, ek pyar jo dil mein simat ke reh gaya tha.Bartan saaf karke main apne kamre ke darwaze tak gayi, par wahi ruk gayi. Dil mein ek ajeeb si ummeed jagi.
Mein (mann mein): Ek baar aur pukar leti hoon. Shayad... shayad woh sun le.
Mere pair apne aap Aarav ke kamre ki taraf badh chala. Dil dhadak raha tha. Agar woh gussa kare to? Par ek maa ka dil apne bete ke liye kaise chain le sakta hai jab woh usse naraz ho? Maine gehri saans li aur dheeme se pukara.
Mein: Aarav? Tum jag rahe ho?
Andar se koi jawab nahi aaya. Par maine haar nahi maani.
Mein: Aarav, please... mujhe maaf kardo. Subah jo bhi kaha, mujhe nahi kehna chahiye tha. Tumpe gussa nahi karna chahiye tha. Please, Aarav?
Koi jawab nahi. Par mujhe laga woh soya nahi tha. Uska woh chup rehna, woh darwaza jo hum dono ke beech khada tha, mujhe tod raha tha. Ek pal ke liye mann kiya ke darwaza tod doon, usse apne seene se laga loon. Woh Aarav, jise maine kabhi aankh utha ke bhi nahi dekha, aaj usse hi maine bura-bhala keh diya. Ek glani thi, ek pyar tha jo dil mein ubal raha tha. Woh pyar jo shayad koi samajh nahi sakta. Ek maa ka pyar, par usse bhi kahin gehra, kahin aur... ek aisa ehsaas jo main khud se bhi chhupa rahi thi.
Maine 15 minute tak wahi khadi rahi, uske darwaze ke saamne, uski ek awaaz ke intezaar mein. Par na woh bola, na darwaza khula. Dil nahi maan raha tha, par kya karti? Saari raat to wahi khadi nahi reh sakti thi. Nina thi, Ankur tha ghar mein. Agar woh na hote, to shayad main saari raat uske darwaze ke saamne khadi rehti, usse pukarti, jab tak woh mujhe maaf na karta. Ek aakhiri koshish ki.
Mein: Aarav, please, mujhe maaf kardo na.
Par jawab na mila. Ab itni raat ko chilla na sahi nahi lagta tha, Main chup chap apne kamre mein chali gayi. Ankur bistar pe leta tha, shirtless. Uska yeh roop dekhkar mujhe gussa aa gaya.
Ankur: Jaanvi...
Mein: Ek shabd aur nahi. Saalon se maine tumhe kitni baar mana kiya hai. Tum samjhe nahi abhi tak.
Ankur: Par Jaanvi, main tumhara pati hoon. Sirf neri ek galti ki wajah se tumne mujhse sex karna band kar diya.
Mein: pati? (haste hue) Mujhe tumse kabhi pyar nahi tha, Ankur. Pitaji ke liye maine yeh shadi ki thi, apna dil maar ke. Phir bhi maine apna patni dharma nibhaya. Tumhare saath do baar soyi, aur uska natija hai Aarav aur Nina. Par tumne... tumne us din mere saath...
Mera rona aagaya, Aansuon ne mujhe rok diya. Woh din, woh dard, woh zakhm jo ab tak nahi bhara tha. Ankur chup raha. Usko bhi yaad tha usne kya kiya tha.
Par ab mein itna bhi kamzor nahi thi. Maine apne aansu poche, chaddar odhi, aur sofe pe let gayi.
Mein (mann mein): Mujhe yaha nahi hona chahiye. Mera dil to uske paas hai, uske kamre mein. Par usne to darwaza hi nahi khola.
Chaddar ke andar main roti rahi. Yeh dard, yeh bechaini... main kise bataun? Aarav, jise main apna sab kuchh maanti hoon, usse bhi yeh baat nahi keh sakti.
Bas apne aap se ladti rahi, sambhalti rahi.Pata nahi kab aankhein lag gayi. Subah aankh khuli to pehla khayal Aarav ka aaya. Main bina fresh hue uske kamre ki taraf bhaagi. Nina bhi uth gaye thi woh wahi aa gayi.
Nina: Bhaiya abhi tak nahi uthe?
Mein: Tune bulaya usse?
Nina: Haan, par koi jawab nahi aaya.
Mein: Aarav? Aarav, utho na.
Par koi jawab nahi. Maine darwaza khatkhaya, par kuchh farq nahi pada.
Nina: Shayad bhaiya abhi so rahe hain, maa. Exam ki wajah se shayad thak gaye honge.
Mein: Haan, shayad. Tune nashta kiya?
Nina: Nahi.
Mein: Chal, main nashta banati hoon.
Hum dono ne milke nashta banaya. Ankur bhi aa gaya, taiyaar hoke. Hum teeno baith gaye, par mera dil Aarav ke paas hi tha, uske kamre mein, pata nahi abhi tak Kyu so raha tha.
Nina: Maa, aap nashta nahi karogi?
Mein: Kaise khaun, Nina? Tera bhaiya kal raat se bhookha hai. Usko bina khilaye main kaise kha sakti hoon?
Nina: Par aapne bhi to kal se kuchh nahi khaya.
Mein: Aarav uthega, tab khaungi.
Nina: Aisa nahi chalega, maa! Chalo, kha lo.
Nina ne zabardasti mujhe ek niwala khila diya. Maine usse rokne ki koshish ki, par usne meri baat nahi maani. Nashta khatam hua, aur Nina college ke liye taiyar ho gaye.
Nina: Bhaiya to uthne se rahe aaj. Mujhe college kaun chhodega?
Ankur: Main chhod deta hoon.
Nina: Nahi, main Sakshi ke saath chali jaungi.
Mein: Theek hai, par dhyan se.
Nina: Haan, maa. Aur koi zarurat ho to call kar dena.
Ankur: Chalo, main bhi nikalta hoon.
Fir Dono chala gaye. Ghar mein ab sirf main aur Aarav the. Maine socha, shayad ab baat ho jaye. Par usne to darwaza hi nahi khola. Maine phir se pukara.
Mein: Aarav? Abhi bhi so rahe ho?
Koi jawab nahi. Maine socha shayad woh sach mein so raha hai. Main ghar ke kaam mein lag gayi. Khana banana, bartan dhona, kapde sukhana, ghar ki safai... sab karte-karte do baje gaye. Beech-beech mein Aarav ko pukarti rahi, par koi jawab nahi aaya.Kaam khatam hote hi main naha ke baith gayi. Dil mein ek bechain bhi tha.
Mein (mann mein): Aarav abhi tak nahi utha? Itna kyun so raha hai, mera budhu? Ghar mein koi nahi hai, socha tha usse thodi bohat baat karungi. Par yeh to abhi tak so raha hai.
Tabhi doorbell baji. Main darwaza kholne gayi. Nina thi, college se wapas aayi thi.
Mein: Tere baare mein hi soch rahi thi. Aaj itni der kyun?
Nina: Sakshi ke ghar chali gayi thi, maa. Uski maa ne khana khila ke bheja.
Mein: Achha, uski maa kaisi hai?
Nina: Woh theek hai. Woh Chhodo, bhaiya kahan hai? Unse baat hui?
Mein: Nahi, woh abhi bhi so raha hai.
Nina: Abhi bhi?
Mein: Haan, Nina. Mujhe to darr lag raha hai. Subah se darwaza nahi khola usne.
Nina: Aap baitho, main naha ke aati hoon.
Nina nahane chali gayi, aur main baith ke sochne lagi. Aarav ne kal raat bhi kuchh nahi khaya tha, aur aaj sara din kamre mein band hai. Dil mein ek ajeeb sa darr tha. Kahi kuchh galat to nahi ho gaya? Kuchh der Mein Nina wapas aayi.
Mein: Nina, mujhe kuchh galat lag raha hai. Tera bhaiya subah se darwaza nahi khol raha. Kahi usse kuchh...
Nina: Aapne theek se dekha?
Mein: Haan, main to subah se baar-baar bula rahi hoon. Na darwaza khula, na koi awaaz aayi.
Nina: Chalo, dekhte hain.
Hum dono Aarav ke kamre ke paas gaye. Maine phir se pukara.
Mein: Aarav? Aarav, please darwaza kholo.
Nina: Bhaiya, please! Maa kitni pareshan hai.
Humne kafi der tak pukara, darwaza bhi khatkhaya, par koi jawab nahi aaya. Phir Nina ne zor se darwaza thokna shuru kiya. Thodi der baad, khula darwaza khula.
Jab maine Aarav ko dekha, to meri jaan mein jaan aayi. Woh khada tha saamne, par chup. Uski aankhein jhuki hui thi, chehra utra hua.
Mein: Itni der tak so rahe the?
Nina: Bhaiya, aap kitna sote ho. Maa aur mera to bura haal ho gaya tha.
Mein: Chhod, Nina. Aarav, tum theek ho na?
Aarav chup raha, bas hum dono ko dekh raha tha. Main aage badhi aur uske maathe pe haath rakha. Ek pal ke liye mera dil dhadakna band ho gaya. Uska maatha garam tha, jaise aag ka gola ho.
Mein: Aarav, Yeh kya? Tumhe to bukhar hai....
Par usne to bas ek dish liya aur darwaza band karke apne kamre mein chala gaya. Haan, yeh maan ti hu, subah maine usse daanta tha. Par ek maa ka haq nahi hota kya apne bete ko daantna?
Par uski chuppi, uski woh doori... yeh dil ko chubh rahi thi. Ek aisa dard jo shayad sirf ek maa hi samajh sakti hai, ya shayad... kuchh aisa jo main kabhi bol nahi sakti.
Nina: Maa, aapko bura laga? Bhaiya aise...
Mein: Nahi, Nina. Subah maine usse daanta tha na, shayad isliye naraz hai. Ab woh bada ho gaya hai, usse aise daantna achha bhi nahi lagta.
Nina: Aap khana nahi khaogi?
Mein: Nahi, abhi bhookh nahi hai.
Nina: Par maa, aapne to subah se kuchh nahi khaya
Mein: Nina, maine kaha na, bhookh nahi hai. Tu kha le.
Nina: Maa, aap bhi to bhaiya jaisi zidd kar rahi ho.
Mein: Arre, main koi chhoti bacchi hoon kya? Tu kha na.
Nina: Aap sach mein...
Mein: Nina, tu bhi na! Chal, main khula deti hoon tujhe aaj.
Nina: Arre nahi, nahi! Main kha loongi.
Nina khana khaane baith gayi, aur main wahi uske paas baithi rahi. Bahar se to main wahi thi, par andar se mera dil Aarav ke paas tha. Uski woh chuppi, uska mujhse door jana... har pal ek sawaal ban ke dil mein chubh raha tha. Kya maine usse itna bura laga diya?
Nina: Main sone ja rahi hoon, maa. Aap bhi so jao.
Mein: Haan, bartan saaf kar leti hoon, phir so jaungi.
Nina: Aap thik ho na?
Maine hansne ki koshish ki, ek jhoothi si hansi.
Mein: Haan, bhala mujhe kya hoga?
Par shayad Nina meri jhoothi hansi ke peeche ka dard dekh chuki thi.
Nina: Nahi, woh bhaiya ke wajah se aap udaas ho.
Mein: Main kyun udaas houngi? Jise meri parwah nahi, uski parwah main kyun karoon?
Nina: Oh, sach mein?
Mein: Aur nahi to kya?
Nina: Achha, to phir aap khana kyun nahi kha rahi ho?
Mein: Tu na, bahut bak-bak karti hai! Ja, so ja, raat ho rahi hai.
Nina: Haan, jaati hoon. Par aap bhi so jana, maa.
Nina apne kamre mein chali gayi. Maine bartan uthaye aur dhone lagi, par mera dil kahi aur tha. Aarav. Uska chehra, uski woh aankhein jo kabhi mujhe dekhte hi muskura uththi thi, aaj mujhse baat tak nahi kar rahi thi. Ek ajeeb si bechaini thi, ek pyar jo dil mein simat ke reh gaya tha.Bartan saaf karke main apne kamre ke darwaze tak gayi, par wahi ruk gayi. Dil mein ek ajeeb si ummeed jagi.
Mein (mann mein): Ek baar aur pukar leti hoon. Shayad... shayad woh sun le.
Mere pair apne aap Aarav ke kamre ki taraf badh chala. Dil dhadak raha tha. Agar woh gussa kare to? Par ek maa ka dil apne bete ke liye kaise chain le sakta hai jab woh usse naraz ho? Maine gehri saans li aur dheeme se pukara.
Mein: Aarav? Tum jag rahe ho?
Andar se koi jawab nahi aaya. Par maine haar nahi maani.
Mein: Aarav, please... mujhe maaf kardo. Subah jo bhi kaha, mujhe nahi kehna chahiye tha. Tumpe gussa nahi karna chahiye tha. Please, Aarav?
Koi jawab nahi. Par mujhe laga woh soya nahi tha. Uska woh chup rehna, woh darwaza jo hum dono ke beech khada tha, mujhe tod raha tha. Ek pal ke liye mann kiya ke darwaza tod doon, usse apne seene se laga loon. Woh Aarav, jise maine kabhi aankh utha ke bhi nahi dekha, aaj usse hi maine bura-bhala keh diya. Ek glani thi, ek pyar tha jo dil mein ubal raha tha. Woh pyar jo shayad koi samajh nahi sakta. Ek maa ka pyar, par usse bhi kahin gehra, kahin aur... ek aisa ehsaas jo main khud se bhi chhupa rahi thi.
Maine 15 minute tak wahi khadi rahi, uske darwaze ke saamne, uski ek awaaz ke intezaar mein. Par na woh bola, na darwaza khula. Dil nahi maan raha tha, par kya karti? Saari raat to wahi khadi nahi reh sakti thi. Nina thi, Ankur tha ghar mein. Agar woh na hote, to shayad main saari raat uske darwaze ke saamne khadi rehti, usse pukarti, jab tak woh mujhe maaf na karta. Ek aakhiri koshish ki.
Mein: Aarav, please, mujhe maaf kardo na.
Par jawab na mila. Ab itni raat ko chilla na sahi nahi lagta tha, Main chup chap apne kamre mein chali gayi. Ankur bistar pe leta tha, shirtless. Uska yeh roop dekhkar mujhe gussa aa gaya.
Ankur: Jaanvi...
Mein: Ek shabd aur nahi. Saalon se maine tumhe kitni baar mana kiya hai. Tum samjhe nahi abhi tak.
Ankur: Par Jaanvi, main tumhara pati hoon. Sirf neri ek galti ki wajah se tumne mujhse sex karna band kar diya.
Mein: pati? (haste hue) Mujhe tumse kabhi pyar nahi tha, Ankur. Pitaji ke liye maine yeh shadi ki thi, apna dil maar ke. Phir bhi maine apna patni dharma nibhaya. Tumhare saath do baar soyi, aur uska natija hai Aarav aur Nina. Par tumne... tumne us din mere saath...
Mera rona aagaya, Aansuon ne mujhe rok diya. Woh din, woh dard, woh zakhm jo ab tak nahi bhara tha. Ankur chup raha. Usko bhi yaad tha usne kya kiya tha.
Par ab mein itna bhi kamzor nahi thi. Maine apne aansu poche, chaddar odhi, aur sofe pe let gayi.
Mein (mann mein): Mujhe yaha nahi hona chahiye. Mera dil to uske paas hai, uske kamre mein. Par usne to darwaza hi nahi khola.
Chaddar ke andar main roti rahi. Yeh dard, yeh bechaini... main kise bataun? Aarav, jise main apna sab kuchh maanti hoon, usse bhi yeh baat nahi keh sakti.
Bas apne aap se ladti rahi, sambhalti rahi.Pata nahi kab aankhein lag gayi. Subah aankh khuli to pehla khayal Aarav ka aaya. Main bina fresh hue uske kamre ki taraf bhaagi. Nina bhi uth gaye thi woh wahi aa gayi.
Nina: Bhaiya abhi tak nahi uthe?
Mein: Tune bulaya usse?
Nina: Haan, par koi jawab nahi aaya.
Mein: Aarav? Aarav, utho na.
Par koi jawab nahi. Maine darwaza khatkhaya, par kuchh farq nahi pada.
Nina: Shayad bhaiya abhi so rahe hain, maa. Exam ki wajah se shayad thak gaye honge.
Mein: Haan, shayad. Tune nashta kiya?
Nina: Nahi.
Mein: Chal, main nashta banati hoon.
Hum dono ne milke nashta banaya. Ankur bhi aa gaya, taiyaar hoke. Hum teeno baith gaye, par mera dil Aarav ke paas hi tha, uske kamre mein, pata nahi abhi tak Kyu so raha tha.
Nina: Maa, aap nashta nahi karogi?
Mein: Kaise khaun, Nina? Tera bhaiya kal raat se bhookha hai. Usko bina khilaye main kaise kha sakti hoon?
Nina: Par aapne bhi to kal se kuchh nahi khaya.
Mein: Aarav uthega, tab khaungi.
Nina: Aisa nahi chalega, maa! Chalo, kha lo.
Nina ne zabardasti mujhe ek niwala khila diya. Maine usse rokne ki koshish ki, par usne meri baat nahi maani. Nashta khatam hua, aur Nina college ke liye taiyar ho gaye.
Nina: Bhaiya to uthne se rahe aaj. Mujhe college kaun chhodega?
Ankur: Main chhod deta hoon.
Nina: Nahi, main Sakshi ke saath chali jaungi.
Mein: Theek hai, par dhyan se.
Nina: Haan, maa. Aur koi zarurat ho to call kar dena.
Ankur: Chalo, main bhi nikalta hoon.
Fir Dono chala gaye. Ghar mein ab sirf main aur Aarav the. Maine socha, shayad ab baat ho jaye. Par usne to darwaza hi nahi khola. Maine phir se pukara.
Mein: Aarav? Abhi bhi so rahe ho?
Koi jawab nahi. Maine socha shayad woh sach mein so raha hai. Main ghar ke kaam mein lag gayi. Khana banana, bartan dhona, kapde sukhana, ghar ki safai... sab karte-karte do baje gaye. Beech-beech mein Aarav ko pukarti rahi, par koi jawab nahi aaya.Kaam khatam hote hi main naha ke baith gayi. Dil mein ek bechain bhi tha.
Mein (mann mein): Aarav abhi tak nahi utha? Itna kyun so raha hai, mera budhu? Ghar mein koi nahi hai, socha tha usse thodi bohat baat karungi. Par yeh to abhi tak so raha hai.
Tabhi doorbell baji. Main darwaza kholne gayi. Nina thi, college se wapas aayi thi.
Mein: Tere baare mein hi soch rahi thi. Aaj itni der kyun?
Nina: Sakshi ke ghar chali gayi thi, maa. Uski maa ne khana khila ke bheja.
Mein: Achha, uski maa kaisi hai?
Nina: Woh theek hai. Woh Chhodo, bhaiya kahan hai? Unse baat hui?
Mein: Nahi, woh abhi bhi so raha hai.
Nina: Abhi bhi?
Mein: Haan, Nina. Mujhe to darr lag raha hai. Subah se darwaza nahi khola usne.
Nina: Aap baitho, main naha ke aati hoon.
Nina nahane chali gayi, aur main baith ke sochne lagi. Aarav ne kal raat bhi kuchh nahi khaya tha, aur aaj sara din kamre mein band hai. Dil mein ek ajeeb sa darr tha. Kahi kuchh galat to nahi ho gaya? Kuchh der Mein Nina wapas aayi.
Mein: Nina, mujhe kuchh galat lag raha hai. Tera bhaiya subah se darwaza nahi khol raha. Kahi usse kuchh...
Nina: Aapne theek se dekha?
Mein: Haan, main to subah se baar-baar bula rahi hoon. Na darwaza khula, na koi awaaz aayi.
Nina: Chalo, dekhte hain.
Hum dono Aarav ke kamre ke paas gaye. Maine phir se pukara.
Mein: Aarav? Aarav, please darwaza kholo.
Nina: Bhaiya, please! Maa kitni pareshan hai.
Humne kafi der tak pukara, darwaza bhi khatkhaya, par koi jawab nahi aaya. Phir Nina ne zor se darwaza thokna shuru kiya. Thodi der baad, khula darwaza khula.
Jab maine Aarav ko dekha, to meri jaan mein jaan aayi. Woh khada tha saamne, par chup. Uski aankhein jhuki hui thi, chehra utra hua.
Mein: Itni der tak so rahe the?
Nina: Bhaiya, aap kitna sote ho. Maa aur mera to bura haal ho gaya tha.
Mein: Chhod, Nina. Aarav, tum theek ho na?
Aarav chup raha, bas hum dono ko dekh raha tha. Main aage badhi aur uske maathe pe haath rakha. Ek pal ke liye mera dil dhadakna band ho gaya. Uska maatha garam tha, jaise aag ka gola ho.
Mein: Aarav, Yeh kya? Tumhe to bukhar hai....
