Thriller bitaa kal

[Black]

Review ka response bada hi khatarnaak hota hai mera . Aap ne Riky aur Fan wala response dekha hi hoga .
Bty , since 4 every story contest thread , kabhi bhi review ka reply nahi kiya.
Aur ye story kaun likh raha hai ? Cheeku 1.0 ya Cheeku 2.0

Ek reply hi toh maangra hoon
Aur aap ko batane ki jarurat thodi hai kaun likh raha hai

 

[Harman11]

Update please Bhai

 

[Shetan]

update 1 ,



kal karlunga kal karlunga .... keh keh kar ... ham wo kaam kar hee nahi paatey .

kiya ham itney lazy ho chuky hay ... kay chota saa kaam karny mein bhi hamey maut aati hay ,

............
shivangi , beta mein tujey kiya bola tha papa ki dawai lekar aaja tu abhi
tak mobile mein laga howa hay ,

rohit , arey jaa raha hu mummy bss khatam honay wala game ,

shivangi , han tere is chakkar mein aik din tera baap dunya sey chaley jaye ga ,

rohit , kiya hay yrr ... sakoon sey rehny bhi nahi dete ,

shivangi , tu sakoon sey beth .. chal sneha khadi ho tu aur mein tere papa ki dawai leke aye ,

sneha , mummy iska mobile cheen lo .. ye tabhi sudhre ga ,

rohit , arey jaa to raha hu ..bss khatam honay wala hay game ,

shivangi , tu game khel ham jaa rhy hay ,

shivangi aur sneha dono ... dawai lene bahar chali gayi thi
..........................
tabhi rohit kay phone par kisi ki call aati hay ,

rohit , arey payal ki call ,

rohit call pick karta hay ... saamney sey awaz aati hay,

payal rooty howe , rohit hello ... ,

rohit herat mein par jaata hay ... payal ki awaaz sunkar ,

rohit , hello payal .. kiya howa roo kio rahi ho ,

payal , rohit mein pregnant hu ,

rohit kay chehry kay rang udh jaatey hay ye sunkar ,

rohit , kia... kiya keh rahi ho ye tumne pills nahi khayi thi kiya ,

payal , chup raho tum ... pills tumne kaha tha laa kar doo gy .. magar tum leke nahi aaye thy ,

rohit gusse sey , arey mein nahi laya to tum to le sakti thi na ... had ho gayi ..ab batao kiya karey ,

payal , hamey abortion karana hoga ,

Rohit , han to kara lo jaa kar ,

payal , ye kiya bol rahy ho .. tum mere saath chalo hospital mein tumhare sign chaiye hogy ,

rohit , kiya.musibat hay ...thik hay ham kal chalenge ,

payal , ab tumhe ye sab aik musibat lag rahi ... mujey tumse ye umeed nahi thi ,

rohit , mera wo matlab nahi tha sneha ... please ham kal chalenge na .. tension nahi lo ,

sneha bina koi jawab diye ...call cut kardeti hay ,
rohit phone ko side mein rakh kar ... ghoomty howy phanky ko dhek raha tha ,

rohit man mein, ( kaash mein payal ko pills laa kar dede ta ... to aaj aesi bhaari musibat nahi aati )
..................
tabhi bara bar room se kisi aadmi ki zor zor sey khaansne ki awaz aati hay ,

rohit ye sun kar uth khada hota hay .... aur wo jaisy hee kamre ka door kholta hay ,

rohit , oohhh shit ... papa ,

rohit jaldi se jaa kar apny baap ko utha kar bitha ta hay ,

rohit , kiya .. papa bola bhi hay awaz laga diya karo khud sey uthney ki koshish mat kara karo ,

rohit glass mein paani daal kar apny baap ko pilata hay ... aur phir dubara sey apny baap ko litaa kar ..bahar ajata hay ,

rohit man mein , ( ye kaafi der hogayi ..par ab tak mummy aur sneha nahi aayi .. call karky puch leta hu )

rohit room mein jaa kar apna phone utha ta hay .. aur sneha ko call karta hay ,

phone kabsy ring ho raha tha .. par sneha call nahi utha rahi thi ... rohit baar baar call kar raha tha par .. koi response nahi aarha tha ,

wo 5 minute ruk kar ... phir sey number dial karta hay .. par ab phone band jaa raha tha ,

rohit ko ab tension honay lag gayi thi .... wo apny kamrey mein chakkar kaat raha tha ... uske dimag mein ajeeb ajeeb thoughts aaney lag gaye thy ,

usey bhook bhi lag rahi thi .... usey ab gussa aaney lag gaya tha ,

tabhi Rohit kay phone par aik unknown number sey call aati hay

rohit call utha ta hay ... udher sey aik awaaz aati hay ..ye awaaz sunkar rohit kay pairo taile zameen khisak gayi thi ,

unknown , hello kiya tum sneha kay bhai rohit ho ,


to be continued....

Amezing start. Lagta he Rohit ek la parvah ladka he. Aagr ka intjar rahega

 

[cheekku 2.0]

update 2 ,


rohit , kon ho tum ... aur sneha ko kaisy jaanty ..aur mera number kaha sey aaya,

unknown , tumhari behen par kisi ney hamla kiya aur uske upar acid phekne ki koshish ki ,

ye baat sunkar rohit kay chehry ka rang udh gaya tha ..,

rohit , ohh shit ... kaha hay wo aur meri mummy .. kaha ho mein arha hu ,

unknown , ghabrao mat wo log ghar yahi par hay bss thori der mein aajaye gy ,

rohit phone par hee baat kar raha tha tabhi... uski mummy aur sneha ghar mein aajaty hay ,

rohit , lagta hay meri Mummy aur behen aagayi hay par tum to keh rahy thy wo abhi wahi par hay ,

tabhi call cut hojati hay .... aur rohit seedha apny room sey bahar nikalta hay,

uski mummy aur sneha sofey par bethy saans ley rahy thy .... tabhi shivangi rohit ko dhek kar bolti hay ,

shivangi , mobile sey fursat mil gayi maharaj ko ,

rohit abhi bhi dono ko dhek raha tha ... par dono ko dhek kar koi aesi baat hee nahi lag rahi thi .. jaisy abhi kuch howa ho unke saath ,

rohit , mummy bahar kuch howa hay kiya ,

shivangi rohit ki baat sunkar usko dhekti hay ,
shivangi ,nahi kio ..kiya howa hay ,

rohit abhi bhi confused tha ... usey samaj nahi arha tha ... unhe dhek kar to lag raha tha ye dono thik hay ,

rohit , acha ... mujey abhi kisi ka call aaya wo keh raha tha ... sneha kay upar kisi ney acid phekne ki koshish ki ,

shivangi , lagta hay iska dimag kharab hogiya hay iski tarha ... tabhi bolti hu kam istemal kar mobile .. dhek sneha kaisi ajeeb baatey kar raha hay ye ,

sneha bhi rohit ko dhek rahi thi ... ,

sneha , tabiyat to thik hay teri ,

rohit ko ab gussa aarha tha .. us call Karney waaley kay upar ,

rohit , mujey kiya ..mujey to kisi ney call kar kay aisa bola ,

rohit ye bolkar waha sey chala gaya ... sneha aur shivangi usey herat sey jata dhek rahi thi ,

sneha , mummy isko doctor ko dhikao ,

rohit apny kamrey mein ajata hay ... aur wo dubara us number par phone dial karta hay ... magar wo number ab band jaa raha tha ,

rohit man mein ,( aakhir kon tha ye .. aur isney jhoot kio bola ... kahi isne sach to nahi kaha ... shayad mummy aur sneha mujsey chupa rahy ho ... nahi nahi .. wo mujsey kio chupaye gy wo bhi aesi baat ... kisi ney shayad meri firki li hay ,)

rohit aesy hee leta howa tha ... thor der baad shivangi usey awaz deti hay ,

shivangi , ohhh rohit aaja khana lag gaya hay ,

rohit ko bhook lagi thi .. wo foran uth kar khana khaney kay liye ajata hay ,

ab wo teeno beth kar khana khaa rahy thy ,
rohit , papa ko khila diya khana mummy,

shivangi , han khila diya ,

rohit kay dimaag mein abhi bhi wo acid waali baat chal rahi thi ... wo soch raha tha aakhir kon ho sakta hay .. jisney ye jhooti khabar di ,

rohit ko gussa bhi aarha tha ... kio kay wo shaks call bhi nahi utha raha tha ,

shivangi , subah jaldi uth jayi ho .. tere papa ko kal check-up kay liye lejana hay ,

rohit , arey mummy sneha ko lejana mujey kal kuch kaam hay ,

shivangi , tujey konsa kaam yaad agya saara din to mobile mein laga rehta hay,

rohit , arey mummy important kaam hay,

shivangi , kitna dheet hay tu .. chodh isko .. sneha tu chaliyo subah ,

sneha , hmm thik hay mummy ,

rohit ab kamrey mein aagya tha ... wo gadhi ki taraf dhekta hay ... 11 baj rahy thy ...,

wo phir sey mobile mein games khelne lag jata hay ... aisa karty karty time hee nahi pata chalta kab raat kay 2 baj gaye ,

rohit ab .. mobile side mein rak letjata hay ... thori der baad uske mobile par kisi ki call aati hay ,

rohit dhekta hay ... is baar bhi koi unknown number tha ,

wo call pick karta hay ...

rohit , hello kon ..

unknown voice , sharam nahi aayi shadi shuda ko hee pregnant kardiye ho ...

ye sunte hee rohit uth kar beth jata ... ye to wohi awaaz thi ....


to be continued...

 

[cheekku 2.0]

new update posted ,

ye update bhi chota hee hay ... abhi story ki shurwaat hay to .. ho sakta hay 4,5 update tak itni hee length ho ,

padh kar review zaroor dijiye ga

 

[cheekku 2.0]

Congratulations for your new story

thanks cutie

Hmm intresting start... Dekhte hai aage is gairjimmedar ladke Rohit ka kya haal hota hai...

Awesome start . Rohit kaam chor lagta hai per aur sab kaam mai aage hai payal ke saath

Congratulations for new story bro

Nice start bro

Thriller story by Cheeku saar!

good start!

Nice start.

Amezing start. Lagta he Rohit ek la parvah ladka he. Aagr ka intjar rahega

thanks

 

[Riky007]

Hmm

Someone stalking, who?

Sneha....
Shivangi...

Ya Payal ya koi aur?

 

[cheekku 2.0]

Hmm

Someone stalking, who?

Sneha....
Shivangi...

Ya Payal ya koi aur?

maybe koi aur yaa ismein sey koi ..

 

[Ufaq saba]

update 2 ,


rohit , kon ho tum ... aur sneha ko kaisy jaanty ..aur mera number kaha sey aaya,

unknown , tumhari behen par kisi ney hamla kiya aur uske upar acid phekne ki koshish ki ,

ye baat sunkar rohit kay chehry ka rang udh gaya tha ..,

rohit , ohh shit ... kaha hay wo aur meri mummy .. kaha ho mein arha hu ,

unknown , ghabrao mat wo log ghar yahi par hay bss thori der mein aajaye gy ,

rohit phone par hee baat kar raha tha tabhi... uski mummy aur sneha ghar mein aajaty hay ,

rohit , lagta hay meri Mummy aur behen aagayi hay par tum to keh rahy thy wo abhi wahi par hay ,

tabhi call cut hojati hay .... aur rohit seedha apny room sey bahar nikalta hay,

uski mummy aur sneha sofey par bethy saans ley rahy thy .... tabhi shivangi rohit ko dhek kar bolti hay ,

shivangi , mobile sey fursat mil gayi maharaj ko ,

rohit abhi bhi dono ko dhek raha tha ... par dono ko dhek kar koi aesi baat hee nahi lag rahi thi .. jaisy abhi kuch howa ho unke saath ,

rohit , mummy bahar kuch howa hay kiya ,

shivangi rohit ki baat sunkar usko dhekti hay ,
shivangi ,nahi kio ..kiya howa hay ,

rohit abhi bhi confused tha ... usey samaj nahi arha tha ... unhe dhek kar to lag raha tha ye dono thik hay ,

rohit , acha ... mujey abhi kisi ka call aaya wo keh raha tha ... sneha kay upar kisi ney acid phekne ki koshish ki ,

shivangi , lagta hay iska dimag kharab hogiya hay iski tarha ... tabhi bolti hu kam istemal kar mobile .. dhek sneha kaisi ajeeb baatey kar raha hay ye ,

sneha bhi rohit ko dhek rahi thi ... ,

sneha , tabiyat to thik hay teri ,

rohit ko ab gussa aarha tha .. us call Karney waaley kay upar ,

rohit , mujey kiya ..mujey to kisi ney call kar kay aisa bola ,

rohit ye bolkar waha sey chala gaya ... sneha aur shivangi usey herat sey jata dhek rahi thi ,

sneha , mummy isko doctor ko dhikao ,

rohit apny kamrey mein ajata hay ... aur wo dubara us number par phone dial karta hay ... magar wo number ab band jaa raha tha ,

rohit man mein ,( aakhir kon tha ye .. aur isney jhoot kio bola ... kahi isne sach to nahi kaha ... shayad mummy aur sneha mujsey chupa rahy ho ... nahi nahi .. wo mujsey kio chupaye gy wo bhi aesi baat ... kisi ney shayad meri firki li hay ,)

rohit aesy hee leta howa tha ... thor der baad shivangi usey awaz deti hay ,

shivangi , ohhh rohit aaja khana lag gaya hay ,

rohit ko bhook lagi thi .. wo foran uth kar khana khaney kay liye ajata hay ,

ab wo teeno beth kar khana khaa rahy thy ,
rohit , papa ko khila diya khana mummy,

shivangi , han khila diya ,

rohit kay dimaag mein abhi bhi wo acid waali baat chal rahi thi ... wo soch raha tha aakhir kon ho sakta hay .. jisney ye jhooti khabar di ,

rohit ko gussa bhi aarha tha ... kio kay wo shaks call bhi nahi utha raha tha ,

shivangi , subah jaldi uth jayi ho .. tere papa ko kal check-up kay liye lejana hay ,

rohit , arey mummy sneha ko lejana mujey kal kuch kaam hay ,

shivangi , tujey konsa kaam yaad agya saara din to mobile mein laga rehta hay,

rohit , arey mummy important kaam hay,

shivangi , kitna dheet hay tu .. chodh isko .. sneha tu chaliyo subah ,

sneha , hmm thik hay mummy ,

rohit ab kamrey mein aagya tha ... wo gadhi ki taraf dhekta hay ... 11 baj rahy thy ...,

wo phir sey mobile mein games khelne lag jata hay ... aisa karty karty time hee nahi pata chalta kab raat kay 2 baj gaye ,

rohit ab .. mobile side mein rak letjata hay ... thori der baad uske mobile par kisi ki call aati hay ,

rohit dhekta hay ... is baar bhi koi unknown number tha ,

wo call pick karta hay ...

rohit , hello kon ..

unknown voice , sharam nahi aayi shadi shuda ko hee pregnant kardiye ho ...

ye sunte hee rohit uth kar beth jata ... ye to wohi awaaz thi ....


to be continued...

Bahut khubsurat update Suspence se bhara hua . Rohit ne to pregnant payal ko Kiya hai . Wo to kuwari hai to fir ye admi koun hai jo baar baar jhuti khabar de raha hai . Acha suspense create kiye ho . Keep it up

 

[Shetan]

update 2 ,


rohit , kon ho tum ... aur sneha ko kaisy jaanty ..aur mera number kaha sey aaya,

unknown , tumhari behen par kisi ney hamla kiya aur uske upar acid phekne ki koshish ki ,

ye baat sunkar rohit kay chehry ka rang udh gaya tha ..,

rohit , ohh shit ... kaha hay wo aur meri mummy .. kaha ho mein arha hu ,

unknown , ghabrao mat wo log ghar yahi par hay bss thori der mein aajaye gy ,

rohit phone par hee baat kar raha tha tabhi... uski mummy aur sneha ghar mein aajaty hay ,

rohit , lagta hay meri Mummy aur behen aagayi hay par tum to keh rahy thy wo abhi wahi par hay ,

tabhi call cut hojati hay .... aur rohit seedha apny room sey bahar nikalta hay,

uski mummy aur sneha sofey par bethy saans ley rahy thy .... tabhi shivangi rohit ko dhek kar bolti hay ,

shivangi , mobile sey fursat mil gayi maharaj ko ,

rohit abhi bhi dono ko dhek raha tha ... par dono ko dhek kar koi aesi baat hee nahi lag rahi thi .. jaisy abhi kuch howa ho unke saath ,

rohit , mummy bahar kuch howa hay kiya ,

shivangi rohit ki baat sunkar usko dhekti hay ,
shivangi ,nahi kio ..kiya howa hay ,

rohit abhi bhi confused tha ... usey samaj nahi arha tha ... unhe dhek kar to lag raha tha ye dono thik hay ,

rohit , acha ... mujey abhi kisi ka call aaya wo keh raha tha ... sneha kay upar kisi ney acid phekne ki koshish ki ,

shivangi , lagta hay iska dimag kharab hogiya hay iski tarha ... tabhi bolti hu kam istemal kar mobile .. dhek sneha kaisi ajeeb baatey kar raha hay ye ,

sneha bhi rohit ko dhek rahi thi ... ,

sneha , tabiyat to thik hay teri ,

rohit ko ab gussa aarha tha .. us call Karney waaley kay upar ,

rohit , mujey kiya ..mujey to kisi ney call kar kay aisa bola ,

rohit ye bolkar waha sey chala gaya ... sneha aur shivangi usey herat sey jata dhek rahi thi ,

sneha , mummy isko doctor ko dhikao ,

rohit apny kamrey mein ajata hay ... aur wo dubara us number par phone dial karta hay ... magar wo number ab band jaa raha tha ,

rohit man mein ,( aakhir kon tha ye .. aur isney jhoot kio bola ... kahi isne sach to nahi kaha ... shayad mummy aur sneha mujsey chupa rahy ho ... nahi nahi .. wo mujsey kio chupaye gy wo bhi aesi baat ... kisi ney shayad meri firki li hay ,)

rohit aesy hee leta howa tha ... thor der baad shivangi usey awaz deti hay ,

shivangi , ohhh rohit aaja khana lag gaya hay ,

rohit ko bhook lagi thi .. wo foran uth kar khana khaney kay liye ajata hay ,

ab wo teeno beth kar khana khaa rahy thy ,
rohit , papa ko khila diya khana mummy,

shivangi , han khila diya ,

rohit kay dimaag mein abhi bhi wo acid waali baat chal rahi thi ... wo soch raha tha aakhir kon ho sakta hay .. jisney ye jhooti khabar di ,

rohit ko gussa bhi aarha tha ... kio kay wo shaks call bhi nahi utha raha tha ,

shivangi , subah jaldi uth jayi ho .. tere papa ko kal check-up kay liye lejana hay ,

rohit , arey mummy sneha ko lejana mujey kal kuch kaam hay ,

shivangi , tujey konsa kaam yaad agya saara din to mobile mein laga rehta hay,

rohit , arey mummy important kaam hay,

shivangi , kitna dheet hay tu .. chodh isko .. sneha tu chaliyo subah ,

sneha , hmm thik hay mummy ,

rohit ab kamrey mein aagya tha ... wo gadhi ki taraf dhekta hay ... 11 baj rahy thy ...,

wo phir sey mobile mein games khelne lag jata hay ... aisa karty karty time hee nahi pata chalta kab raat kay 2 baj gaye ,

rohit ab .. mobile side mein rak letjata hay ... thori der baad uske mobile par kisi ki call aati hay ,

rohit dhekta hay ... is baar bhi koi unknown number tha ,

wo call pick karta hay ...

rohit , hello kon ..

unknown voice , sharam nahi aayi shadi shuda ko hee pregnant kardiye ho ...

ye sunte hee rohit uth kar beth jata ... ye to wohi awaaz thi ....


to be continued...

Jab tak kahani aage nahi badhegi pata nahi chalega. Intjar rahega