★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2025 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Lucifer]

Unfortunately We are facing a server issue which limits most users from posting long posts which is very necessary for USC entries as all of them are above 5-7K words ,we are fixing this issue as I post this but it'll take few days so keeping this in mind the last date of entry thread is increased once again,Entry thread will be closed on 7th May 11:59 PM. And you can still post reviews for best reader's award till 13th May 11:59 PM. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

You can PM your story to any mod and they'll post it for you.

Note to writers :- Don't try to post long updates instead post it in 2 Or more posts. Thanks. Regards :- Luci

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - मेरी भार्या की कामांगप्रदर्शन प्रवृत्ति
Writer - CChor
Rating - 6.5/10

ek bold aur provocative kahani hai jo Sahil aur uski patni Suman ke beech ke sambandh ko ek naye, visphotak andaaz me dikhati hai. Sahil swayam kahani ka naayak aur lekhak hai, jo Suman ke pradarshan-parak swabhaav ko bina kisi judgment ke explore karta hai.

Kahani ki shuruaat Suman ke fashion ke shauk aur uske sundar, aakarshak vyaktitva ke sexy varnan se hoti hai. Uska transformation ek typical middle class ladki se ek bold aur confident mahila tak padhne walon ke liye turant ek visual tasveer banata hai. Party ka drishya, jahan Suman sabki nazron ka kendra banti hai, kahani ka highlight hai. Dampati ke beech ka vishwas aur khulaapan isey adult genre ke liye ek rochak kahani banata hai.

Lekin kahani mein kuch kamiya bhi hai. Suman aur Sahil ke characters sahi se develop nahi kiye gaye Suman ke vyavhaar ke peeche ki soch ya jazbaat par prakash nahi daala gaya. Kahani ek disha mein chalti hai aur bhaavnatmak ya samajik pehluon ko chhuti nahi, jisse yeh fantasy tak simit lagti hai.

Bhasha kuch jagah par sadharan aur overly explicit hai. Kuch scenes, jaise hastmaithun ya overly bold acts, sensation zyada aur depth kam lagte hain.

overall kahani apne adult genre ke lakshya mein safal hai rochak, aur provocative. Lekin agar charitra vikas, samajik sandarbh aur bhaavnatmak gahraai hoti, to yeh kahani sirf ek fantasy nahi, balki ek yaadgar anubhav ban sakti thi.

 

[THE ETERNITY]

Story ; Born Again For the cup
Written by ; THE ETERNITY
Story line ; Fantasy​

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Story aveer naam ke ladke ki hai jo god ki galti ki wajah se mar jata hai, toh god usko ek wish mangne ko dete hain, aur aveer wish me india ki taraf se world Cup khelne ki wish mangta hai.

Thank you Mrxr
For your wonderful review

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Positive points​

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• Story me fun, motivation aur emotions dikhai dete hai.
• Kabhi-kabhi sapne bhi hame kuch kar dikhane ka hausla de jate hai real life me.
• Story me team ki sporting spirit dikhai gai hai

story ka Main motive hi fun , emotions aur motivations thee , inhi ke around pura story ka focus tha.
Thank you yeh aapko acha laga

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Negative points​

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• Story ke kuch scene lambe hone se bore karte hai.
• Aveer ka har match me accha perform karna,story ko thoda dramatic aur unnatural banata hai.
• God ke character ko aur dikhaya ja sakta tha.
• Jab aveer ko god ne team india me bheja, toh aveer ki soul ko kis ki body me dala tha.

.I think bore hone wala point aapne middle phase ke liye kaha hoga
. Aveer ko har match mein acha performance iss liye bataya hai kyuki ye aveer ka dream tha aur dreams toh illogical hi hote hai.
. God ko main aur dikha sakta tha par unke liye mujhe aur funny dialogs ki jaroorat thi jo ki mere pass out of stock thee.
Unhe middle phase mein la sakta tha par waha world cup par Main focus tha .
.aveer ki soul ko kisi ki bhi body mein fit nahi kiya ek tarah Keh sakte ho new body mein fit kiya .
(waise bhi puri story hi illogical hai aur sab ek dream tha iska mein explanation bhi nahi de sakta ki god ne aveer ko kaise cricket team mein enter karwaya kyuki wo god hai wo kuch bhi kar sakte hain)

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Mistakes​

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Story me kanhi kanhi words mistakes hain.Aveer ke characters me thoda struggl dala ja sakta tha,jisse vo aur realistic lagta.story ke mid me god ke kuch scenes dikhaye ja sakte the.

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Story bahut acchi aur saafi se likhi gai hai, jo padhne me flow deti,

Rating ; 7/10​

Mistake ki baat kare toh aap sahi ho bohat se word's ki mistake hai isse hindi ya devnagri mein likhta toh itni nahi hoti .
.yes aveer ko struggle karwa sakta tha middle phase mein jisse story ka middle portion aur strong hota ( I agree with this)


Thank you for your precious words
Mujhe Khushi hai ki aapko story pasand aayi aur aapne ek shandar review diya
I hope ki aage jab bhi story likhu negative point ko dhyan mein rakh unhe sudhar karke likhu .

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - अनदेखा,अनसुना एक किस्सा
Writer - DEVIL MAXIMUM
Rating - 8/10

ek aisi kahani jo hume ek parivaar ke sadharan jeevan ke peeche chhipe gehre raaz aur manovigyanik pehluon ki or le jaati hai. Kahani ka main character Bittu, ek ** saal ka ladka hai (pata nahi mods UA allow karenge ya nahi ), jiske masoom chehre ke peeche pratishodh ki aag bhadakti hai. Is kahani me suspense aur psychology ka ek behtareen mishran hai, jo padhne walon ko ant tak bandhe rakhta hai.

Bittu ka character kahani ki sabse badi takat hai. Uske vichar aur bhavnao ko samajhne ki koshish ki gayi hai, jo kahani ko gehraai pradan karta hai. Uske character ko is tarah se viksit kiya gaya hai ki padhne wala uske saath judne lagta hai. Kahani me har mod par ek naya raaz khulta hai, jo readers ko hairan kar deta hai. Suspense ka upyog kahani mein bahut hi chaturai se kiya gaya hai, jo ise aur bhi rochak banata hai.

Kahani ki bhasha saral aur prabhaavshali hai, jo padhne mein asani pradan karti hai. Lekin kahani mein kuch avishwasniyata bhi hai. Ek ** saal ke bachche dwara itni jatil yojana banana thoda avishwasniya lagta hai, jo kahani ka sabse bada logical gap hai. Iske alawa, kahani ka ant thoda jaldbazi mein lagta hai aur kai prashnon ka uttar nahi milta. Bittu ke bhavishya aur uske kriyao ke parinaam par zyada prakash nahi dala gaya hai, jo kahani ko thoda adhoora chhod deta hai.

Gharelu mamle aur vivahik tanav ko kahani mein achhe se darshaya gaya hai. Kahani gharelu samasyao par zyada kendrit hai, .

overall ye ek aisi kahani hai jo aapko sochne par majboor karti hai. Iske suspenseful plot ki wajah se ye ek rochak story hai. Lekin kuch logical gaps aur ant ki jaldbazi ko dhyan mein rakhte hue, ye kahani ek bar jarur padhni chahiye. Is kahani ko main 8/10 ki rating deta hu, kyuki ye apne vichar aur prastuti mein rochak hai, lekin kuch jagah par avishwasniya bhi.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Unlucky husband and lover get caring Mom and daughter
Writer - kirantariq
Rating - 6.5/10

ek aur incest themed story jo Sameer ke aas-paas ghoomti hai, jo Afshah ke betrayal ke baad apni maa Veena aur beti Haniya ke saath emotional aur physical connection banata hai. Afshah ka flashback jahan wo incestuous relationships me hoti hai story ko ek dark shuruaat deta hai, jo genre ke mizaaj se perfectly match karta hai.

Present mein Kiran ki seductive entry aur uska Sameer ko mock aur blackmail karna ek layered twist jodta hai. Ye betrayal angle aur physical tension kahani ko fast-paced aur edgy banata hai. Erotic scenes kaafi detailed hain, aur visual storytelling strong hai jo forum ke audience ke liye immersive experience create karta hai.

Sameer-Veena-Haniya ka dynamic kahani ka core hai. Veena ka sacrifice aur Haniya ka bold initiative kahani ko predictable banne se bachata hai. Yeh narrative incest ko sirf shock value ke liye nahi, balki emotional bonding aur desire ke complex mix ke roop mein explore karta hai.

Lekin kahani kabhi-kabhi overcrowded lagti hai multiple dramatic elements ek saath hone se focus thoda bikhar jata hai. Character arcs rushed hai, aur language mein polish ki kami hai. Erotic scenes bhi thode repetitive feel hote hain. Climax impactful hai, lekin aur buildup dete to emotional payoff aur strong hota.

kahani sahi hai lekin ise hindi me hi likha jata to aur behtar hoti kyuki english me connect nahi ban pata hai. all the best for contest

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Nanad ki ichha purti
Writer - Rajizexy
Rating - 7/10

Kahani Harpreet Kaur aur uski nanad Preet Kaur ke physical adventures ke aas-paas ghoomti hai. Kahani apne bold aur vivid narrative ke saath shuru hoti hai, jisme characters ke roop-rang aur unke bodies ka detailed varnan hai, jo immediate hook banata hai. Setting ek urban Indian household me hai, jahan nanad-bhabhi ka rishta aur pati ka dost ek teesra character bana hai. Harpreet aur Preet ka conversational tone naturally engaging hai, jo modern Indian context mein fit baithta hai.

Plot fast-paced hai, aur Preet ka ghar aana, porn dekhna, aur Amar ke saath physical encounter ka safar bina kisi unnecessary drag ke hota hai. Preet aur Amar ka jaldi connection aur Harpreet ka unke liye raasta banana ek supportive dynamic dikhata hai, jo thoda fresh feel deta hai. Kewal aur Amar ke career-related elements kahani ko realistic backdrop dete hai.

Lekin yeh kahani kuch common weaknesses bhi dikhati hai. Characters kaafi surface-level hai, aur unki motivations ko explore nahi kiya gaya. Harpreet ka jaldi Amar ki taraf attract hona thoda abrupt hai, aur “nanad-bhabhi” aur “pati ke dost” jaise tropes predictable hai. Amar ka dono aurato ke saath involve hona ek formulaic pattern follow karta hai, jo originality ka element miss karta hai.

Language mein thodi monotony hai. Plot ke kuch hisse unrealistic hain, jaise Kewal ka apni behen aur biwi ko Amar ke saath chhod dena, ya Preet aur Amar ka pehli mulaqaat mein intense hona. Internal struggle ki kami kahani mein tension ko kam kar deti hai.

Climax thoda rushed lagta hai, jahan Preet aur Amar ka milan ek predictable ending ke saath khatam hota hai. Fir bhi, ye kahani apne target audience ke liye entertaining hai, lekin agar writer thoda nuanced character development aur refined language add kare, toh yeh kahani zyada memorable ho sakti thi. overall badhiya kahani hai Rajizexy madam all the best for contest.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Real Game
writer - Aether
Rating - 8/10

ek aisi kahani jo Mumbai ki raunak bhari zindagi ke beech ek dark aur thrilling safar par le jaati hai. Ye kahani ek online game ke chakkar me fanste kuch youngsters ki zindagi ko explore karti hai, jahan har task unhe unki seemao tak le jaata hai. Kahani ka concept naya aur innovative hai, jo real life tasks par adharit hai aur reader ko sochne par majboor karta hai. Ye game ke madhyam se psychological aur emotional challenges ko explore karti hai, jo players ko unke darr aur limitations ka samna karne par majboor karta hai.

Kahani mein suspense ka mazaa hai jo shuru se lekar aakhir tak bana rehta hai. Har naye task ke saath reader ki curiosity badhti hai aur unexpected twists reader ko baandhe rakhte hai. Aryan aur Karan ke beech ki dosti aur dushmani ko emotional gehraai ke saath dikhaya gaya hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi engaging banata hai. Cyber crime aur hacking ke technical aspects ko realistic tarike se pesh kiya gaya hai, jo kahani ko credibility deta hai. Police investigation process ka authentic portrayal bhi kahani ko majboot banata hai.

in sab positive ke sath kahani me kuch kamzori bhi hai. Kuch characters, jaise Riya aur Aditi, ko aur explore kiya ja sakta tha. Unka role kahani mein thoda aur impactful ho sakta tha. Kahani ke kuch hisso mein pacing thoda inconsistent hai, jo flow ko thoda disrupt karta hai. Detailed descriptions kabhi-kabhi story ke flow ko rokti hain. Kahani mein kuch predictable elements hai jo thoda disappoint kar sakte hai. Karan ka character aur uske motive thode cliche lag sakte hain. Kahani ke kuch hisse thode jaldbazi mein khatam hote hain aur kuch sawalon ke jawab nahi milte. "Real Game Reloaded" ka twist thoda abrupt lagta hai aur usko aur explore kiya ja sakta tha.

overall ye ek engaging aur thought-provoking kahani hai jo readers ko virtual aur real duniya ke beech ki complexities ko samajhne ka mauka deti hai. Iske unique concept, psychological insights, aur thrilling plot ke saath, yeh ek must-read hai. Haan, kuch choti-choti kamiyan hai, lekin overall yeh ek bahut hi acchi kahani hai jo aapko sochne par majboor karegi ki virtual duniya ke khel kab real zindagi ka imtihaan ban jaate hai. Jo log cyber crime thrillers aur psychological suspense ke shaukeen hain, unhe yeh kahani zaroor pasand aayegi. Is kahani ko main 8/10 rating deta hu, kyunki ye apne concept aur execution ke liye tareef ke layak hai, lekin kuch aspects mein thoda aur sudhaar ki gunjaish thi. all the best for contest.

 

[Mrxr]

Story ; परिंदा
Written by ; Shetan
Story line ; Drama​

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Story ek Air force officer virendra(veeru) ki hai,jo ek air show ke dauran uske mig 21 air craft me aag lagne se aur system crash hone ke karan pakistani border me chala jata hai,janha use arest kar liya jata hai,kanuni karwai ke ke baad use india bhej diya jata hai.

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Positive points​

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• Story me pyaar aur dosti ko acche se farsaya gaya hai,jo story ko accha flow deta hai.
• Jo jaisa dikhta hai waisa hota nahi hai,kuch dushman bhi dost ban sakte hai.
• Veeru ka character acche se likha gaya hai.

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Negative points​

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• Veeru ke jaane ke baad india me kya reaction tha nahi dikhaya gaya.
• Kavita ka character developer kiya ja sakta tha aur uske kuch scenes dikhaye ja sakte the.

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Mistakes ​

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Story me pahle ki tarah words mistake hain.
Veeru aur kavita ka relationship thoda Pridicdteble lagta hai( veeru ke us letter me kya likha tha wo na dikha ke sirf itna dikhaya jata ki heena ne wo letter padha bas. Isse veeru aur kavita ke rishte me suspense aata ki wo sath rahenge ki alag. Aur ending ke baad sarfarash aur heena ki convo me dikhaya ja sakta tha, jisse undono ka rishta aur majboot ho jata sayad.......ye mera pov hai ishka story se koi talluk nahi hai.)

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Story bahut hi aache aur saafi se likhi gai hai jo readers ko story se connect karti hai.

Rating ;8/10​

 

[Rajizexy]

Story - Nanad ki ichha purti
Writer - Rajizexy
Rating - 7/10

Kahani Harpreet Kaur aur uski nanad Preet Kaur ke physical adventures ke aas-paas ghoomti hai. Kahani apne bold aur vivid narrative ke saath shuru hoti hai, jisme characters ke roop-rang aur unke bodies ka detailed varnan hai, jo immediate hook banata hai. Setting ek urban Indian household me hai, jahan nanad-bhabhi ka rishta aur pati ka dost ek teesra character bana hai. Harpreet aur Preet ka conversational tone naturally engaging hai, jo modern Indian context mein fit baithta hai.

Plot fast-paced hai, aur Preet ka ghar aana, porn dekhna, aur Amar ke saath physical encounter ka safar bina kisi unnecessary drag ke hota hai. Preet aur Amar ka jaldi connection aur Harpreet ka unke liye raasta banana ek supportive dynamic dikhata hai, jo thoda fresh feel deta hai. Kewal aur Amar ke career-related elements kahani ko realistic backdrop dete hai.

Lekin yeh kahani kuch common weaknesses bhi dikhati hai. Characters kaafi surface-level hai, aur unki motivations ko explore nahi kiya gaya. Harpreet ka jaldi Amar ki taraf attract hona thoda abrupt hai, aur “nanad-bhabhi” aur “pati ke dost” jaise tropes predictable hai. Amar ka dono aurato ke saath involve hona ek formulaic pattern follow karta hai, jo originality ka element miss karta hai.

Language mein thodi monotony hai. Plot ke kuch hisse unrealistic hain, jaise Kewal ka apni behen aur biwi ko Amar ke saath chhod dena, ya Preet aur Amar ka pehli mulaqaat mein intense hona. Internal struggle ki kami kahani mein tension ko kam kar deti hai.

Climax thoda rushed lagta hai, jahan Preet aur Amar ka milan ek predictable ending ke saath khatam hota hai. Fir bhi, ye kahani apne target audience ke liye entertaining hai, lekin agar writer thoda nuanced character development aur refined language add kare, toh yeh kahani zyada memorable ho sakti thi. overall badhiya kahani hai Rajizexy madam all the best for contest.

Thanks a lot dear magnificent for magnificent review. So kind of u dear. Hope to see you again sometime & somewhere .

 

[THE ETERNITY]

Who Tricked Whom?

Writer - kinkystuff
Story genre - adultery
Story summary ,-
Aarav, a confident and loving husband, suffers a life-changing accident that leaves him paralysed and partially blind. Struggling with his new reality, he asks his doctor to lie about his vision being cured, hoping his wife Naina will feel free to move on without any guilt. But Naina decides to stay with him and take care of him, acting like a devoted partner.

However, as time passes, Aarav begins to sense that something is wrong. Slowly regaining his sight, he discovers the horrifying truth—Naina is having an affair with her ex-boyfriend, Raghav. She uses his blindness to hide her betrayal, becoming even bolder with each passing day, even bringing the affair into their home. Aarav, heartbroken and silent, continues to pretend he has no idea, watching it all happen.

Filled with pain and anger, Aarav begins to heal—his paralysis and impotence begin to fade. When Naina tries to taunt him with the truth, believing him to be powerless, Aarav finally stands up, revealing his strength and vision. What follows is a storm of raw emotion, control, and confrontation, as he reclaims the dignity and dominance she tried to usurp.


Positive point
.The beginning of the story is engaging.

.The author has effectively portrayed Aarav's feelings.

.The author has used good details with Aarav's vision and hearing.

. The story builds curiosity as Aarav discovers the truth.

Negative Points:

.Pace: The pace seems slow in some parts of the story.

.Moral ambiguity: It is difficult to completely like any character.

.Unresolved ending: The ending does not give a clear answer.


Overall its a good story
Rating 6/10

 

[manikmittalme07]

Story ; Adla Badli - A murder mystery
Written by ; manikmittalme07
Story line ; adultery​

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Story me ek couple rajat & shruti,jo apni 1st anniversary manane ek restaurant mte hain janha unki mulakat ek newly couple sajal & sneha se hoti hai,jo acche dost ban jate hain aur dono couple rajat ke ghar aate hain,aur unme couple swipe hota hai,aur shruti ka katl ho jata hai.

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Positive points​

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• Story me intimate scene accha likha gaya hai.
• Baki mujhe aisa kuch Laga nahi jo positive ho.

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Negative points​

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• Murder me police ka koi jyada action nahi.
• Story ek murder mystery na hoke bas ek adultery me simat ke rah gayi.
• Jab sneha aur rajat ko pata chal gaya tha dono ke plan ka toh,dono couples apas me baat kar ke matter short out kar sakte the,divorce lekar couple badle ja sakte the,jo last me hua bhi,murder hota hi nahi,aur dono couples khush rah sakte the.

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Mistakes​

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• Story me words mistakes hain,jo samajhne me dikat deti hain sentence ko.
• Story me jab sajal ne door khola tha tab wo full naked tha,toh uske kapde khoon se kaise sane hue the.
• Story me kuch scene ke khulase nahi kye gaye,jaise... sajal aur shruti alag kaise hue,sneha ko rajat ka number kaise mila....etc.
• Police ka sahi se evidence ki talas na karna.
• Rajat aur sneha ka inspector ko shruti ka mobile dena,jo ek police ka kam hota hai.
• Story ka title story se match hi nahi karta,par genre match karta hai.

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Story acchi likhi gai hai,adultery pe base story ka intimate scene accha likha gaya hai.

Rating ; 5.5/10​

thx bro for your review. harek kahani mein aisa hi hota hai ke kisi ko koi chij pasand nahi aati to kisi ko koi. kahin par pathak exaggerate kar dete hain to kahin se writer se kuchh na kuchh miss ho jata hai. life ka naam hi sikhna hai. main wo insaan hun jo apni har galti par sikhne ki koshish karta hun. maine bahut kahaniyan likhi hain aur ek app par to regularly hindi stories likh raha hun, jinme suspense to raha par murder mystery pehli baar likhi hai. Ye bahut dhyan se likhni hoti hai to loopholes reh jaate hain, mujhse bhi reh gaye hain maanta hain. Har kadam par sikhna hai, har kadam par khud ko improve karna hai. yahi mera lakshya hai. thanks a lot bro...