Me: mujhe pata hai ki main bada hoon, maa. Maine tumse kaha tha ki main bada hoon. lekin, yah abhi bhi bahut ajeeb hai. pahle ke sabhi sandesh ek had tak mazedaar lage, lekin ye ab aise nahin hai.
Maa: haan, Irfan. Mujhe pata hai ki tum kaisa mahsoos kar rahe hoge. Main bhi asaamanya mahasoos kar raha hoon. Mujhe nahin lagata tha ki tum mujhe kabhi aise tasveer bhejoge. Lekin, mujhe nahin lagata tha ki 9 inch jitana lamba lund bhi sambhav hai. Isilie maine tum par vishwas nahin kiya.
Me: Kya ab tum mujh par vishwas karate ho?
Maa: haan baby. Haan mai bas itana chahta hoon... mujhe khed hai ki maine pahale tum par vishwas nahin kiya. Aur maine hame is jhanjhat mein daal diya.
Me: oh... badhiya... maa, mujhe khushi hai ki tum mujh par vishwas karti ho. Main kabhi jhooth nahin bolta. Ho sakata hai ki mai kuch baaten chipata hoon jab mujhe lagta hai ki unka koi mahatv nahin hai. Lekin main kabhi jhooth nahin bolata. khaas akar jab mujhse kuch pucha jaata hai. Aur, islie, mujhe kabhi jhootha kehalana pasand nahin aaya. shayad maine zaroorat se zyada pratikriya de. Ye bas us pal ki garmi mei hua. Chalo ise bhool jaate hain, maa. Mujhe ummeed hai ki tum mujhse naraz nahin ho.
Maa: chalo, baby. bilkul nahin. Main tumse kabhi naaraaz nahin thi. Main bas is purie baat ke lie maafi chahti hoon. Main ise taal sakati thi. Maaf karo, thik hai!
Me: please, maa. Nahin! maafi mat maango. Ye tumhari galti nahin hai. Main hi doshi hoon. Mujhe zyaada saavadhan rahana chahie tha. Mujhe tumhen bata paana chahie tha ki ye kya tha. Mujhe itna sharmeela nahin hona chahie tha aur tumhen bhramit nahin karna chahie tha. Yahi baat sthiti ko aur kharaab kar rahi hai. Ab se main tumhare saath zyaada khula aur seedha rahunga.
Maa: haan, Irfan. tumhe mere saath cheezon par charcha karane mein sankog karane kee zaroorat nahin hai. Tum jaante ho ki tum mujh par bharosa kar sakate ho. Mai hamesha tumhare lie maujud rahunga.
Me: Haan, maa. Aur, abi ham sab thik hain, toh krupya woh tasveer hata dena maa. Ye sahi nahi hai, aur bilkul bhi thik nahin hai.
Maa: Kya theek nahin hai, Irfan?
Me: Tumhare phone mei ek aadami ke lund ki tasveer. krupya ise gallery se hata dena maa. saath hi, hamare chat se bhi.
Maa: haahaaha… oh, baby… mere phone par kisi ajanabi aadami ka lund hona ek samasya hai. Lekin, ye mere bete ka hai. Ye koi samasya nahin hai.
Maa: please, maa. Dad dekh lenge. Woh tumhare phone aksar istemaal karata hai.
Maa: toh kya?
Me: Hum bas museebat mol le rahe hain, maa. Mai nahin chahta ki woh mere baare mein kuch galat soche.
Maa: Maaf karana! socho tumhare baare mein kya galat hai?
Me: maa, mei nahin chahta ki woh ye soche ki main tumhe aisi tasveeren bhej raha hoon.
Maa: Agar tumhare paapa mere phone par tumhare lund ki tasveer dekhte hain aur unhe pata chalta hai ki mei unhe iske baare mein nahin bataayega, to woh tumhare aur mere baare mein galat sochenge. Aur sirf tumhare baare mein nahin, mere darling. unhe zaroor lagega ki ham aise tasveeren ek-doosare ko dete rahe hain.
Me: Maa, bilkul! yahi baat hai. Toh, please tasveer hata dena maa. maine tumhen pahale jo tasveer bheje the, use bhi hata dena, mere boxer mei. Mai nahi chahata ki woh hamaare baare mein kuchh galat soche.
Maa: haahaaha… oh, Irfan. tum bahut pyaare ho.
Me: ye nahin, maa. abhi nahin.
Maa: theek hai, mujhe kuch batao. Kya tumne mujhe woh tasveeren bhejte samay kuch galat socha tha? Kya tumhara koi bura iraada tha?
Me: oh, chalo, maa. nahin! bilkul bhi nahin.
Maa: Toh, tum itne chinchit kyu ho? Tumhe
chinta karane ki kya baat hai?
Me: lekin, phir bhee. Please ise hata do. ise aur jatil mat banao, maa. Please!
Maa: Nahi hataungi. I am sorry , baby. Lekin, mei ise nahin hataungi. ise mere phone par hi rahane do. Mei, ise dekhana chahti hu, jab bhi mera mann kare.
Me: kya bakvaas hai, maa! kyon?
Maa: kya kyon?
Me: tum mere lund ko kyon dekhna chaahatee ho?
Maa: Mai apne bete ke lund ko dekh rahi hoon. mujhe aisa karane ke lie kisee kee anumati kee aavashyakata nahin hai. aur shaayad, main hamesha apne bete ke nagne lund ko dekhte rahi hoon.
Me: Mai tumhara beta hoon. Aur tumne pahale kabhi mera nanga lund nahin dekha hai.
Maa: oh, haan? To khush ho jao main ise dekh raha hoon, ab.
Me: maa!
Maa: kya? tum nahin chahte ki main tumhara lund dekhun?
Me: yah kya hai, maa?
Maa: tumhe ye pasand nahin ki main tumhare ‘bade’ lund ki tharif karoon, baby?
Me: Bandh karo, maa. Mujhe laga ki hum is baare mein pahale hi baat kar chuke hain. aur mujhe sach mein khed hai. Please maa, is baare mein phir se baat na karen. Please mera mazaak udana bandh karen. yah ek vaastavik galatee thee.
Maa: haahaaha… mera bechaara pyara beta. phir se pakad liya!
Me: Bahut ho gaya maa, ise hata do,please maa.
Maa: main nahin hataunga.
Me: please maa.....
Maa: theek hai, theek hai. main karunga.
Me: Bahut-bahut dhanyavad, maa. Chalo is baare mein kabhi baat nahin karate.
Maa: Mai ise delet kar dunga. lekin…
Me: Lekin kya?
Maa: Lekin jab bhi mai puchunga, tumhen mujhe ek bhejna hoga.
Me: kya? mujhe yah theek se samajh mein nahin aaya? Jab bhi tum puchoge, tumhen kya bhejunga?
Maa: Mai chahta hun ki jab bhi mai puchun, tum mujhe apane lund ki tasveer bhejo.
Me: Kya? aakhir kyon!
Maa: kyonki…
Me: kis vajah se?
Maa: kyonki mujhe ye pasand hai.
Me: Tumhen kya pasand hai?
Maa: Mujhe tumhara lund dekhna acha lagta hai.
Me: Kyu, maa? ye kahan ja raha hai!
Maa: haahaaha…
Me: Ab tum kyon hans rahe ho?
Maa: Mujhe tumhara lund dekhna acha lagta hai kyonki mujhe lagata hai ki yah acha dikhta hai.
Me: Mujhe chedna band karo, maa. Tum ise bahut aage le ja rahe ho.
Maa: Tum mujhe kah rahe ho ki mai tumhe ched rahi hun? Tum hi ho jo mujhe hamesha se chedhte rahe ho. Tum hi yahaan chedne wale ho!
Me: Tum aisa kyon kah rahi ho? Maine aisa kya kiya jo mujhe chedne wala banaata hai? Mai to bas wai kar raha hun jo tum mujhse karne ke lie kah rahi ho.
Maa: Tum apne bade lund ki tasveer ek paripakv akele mahila ko bhejte ho. Ye chedhna hai!
Me: Mai ise apni maa ko bhejata hun, kisee paripakv akeli mahila ko nahi. Aur, sirf islie kyonki usne zor diya ki mai ise use bhejoon.
Maa: haahaaha. chup raho, kya tum! mai kabhi zor nahin diya.
Me: tumne kiya, maa. Mai anyatha kabhi nahin karata.
Maa: haahaaha. Oh, mai tumse bahut pyaar karata hun, baby.
Me: maa, tum mujhe bahut ulajhan mein daal deti ho. Mujhe sach mein nahin pata ki tum mujhse kya chahti hai.
Maa: haahaaha. kuchh nahin, baby. Main bas tumse zyaada se zyaada baat karane ki koshish kar rahi thi. Mujhe tumhare Lund bahut pasand hai.
Me: Ye, sunkar main bahut khush hun, maa. Aur, main jaanata hoon ki tum bas mujhe pareshan karane ki koshish kar rahi ho. lekin, ek baat main tumhen batana chahta hoon. Na to tumhen kabhi ye mahasoos karana chaahie ki tum akeli aur tanha ho. Aur na hi tum budi aur paripakv ho.
Maa: haahaaha… haan, main hoon, Irfan. Tumhen itna dayaalu hone kee zaroorat nahin hai.
Me: main sirf tumhen khush karane ki koshish nahin kar raha hoon, maa. Mai tumhen sach bata raha hoon. tum sirf 38 saal kee ho, aur tum abhi be bahut javaan ho. tum sabase khubsoorat mahila ho jise main jaanta hoon.
Maa: oh, Baby, main bahut khush hoon ki tum aisa sochte ho. Shukriya, mere bete. So sakata hai, main abhee bhee javaan aur khoobasoorat dikhatee hoon. Lekin, main yahaan bahut akelee hoon. Ye bahut lambe samay se aisa hi hai.
Me: paapa hamesha ghar par rahate hain, maa. Mera matalab hai, zyaadaatar samay. jab se unhonne consaltensy farm join ki hai, ve ghar par hee kaam kar rahe hain aur vahaan kaafee samay bita rahe hain.
Maa: haan. ve ghar par hain...
Me: to kya? tum abhi bhi itana akela kyon mahsoos karati ho?
Maa: yahee baat hai. ab main tumhen kaise bataoon? vah in dinon mujhe zyaada pasand nahin karata.
Me: oh, chalo maa. Tum hamesha aisa hee karati ho. main tumhen salon se yah kahate hu sun raha hoon. aur mujhe pata hai ki tum use chidhaane ke lie hee aisa kahatee ho.
