Uma has received the picture her son Ravi, sent her. And she has just opened it.
Uma: Oh…
Me: What happened, Mom?
Uma: No… No… It’s just that…
Me: What is it, Mom?
Uma: Your boxers are a bit too small for you, I guess, baby.
Me: Not really, Mom. This is the biggest size they make. And, I don’t think any company sells bigger ones in the market.
Uma: But…
Me: What is the problem, Mom?
Uma: It is not a problem, baby. It is just that your boxers look so tight.
Me: See, Mom. That’s why I told you, you won’t be comfortable sleeping with me if I wore one of them. You are already feeling uneasy.
Uma: No. It’s not that, baby. I was just wondering…
Me: Wondering what, Mom?
Uma: Wondering why it is so tight…
Me: Mom?
Uma: What, baby?
Me: Hahaha. It’s nothing mom.
Uma: What do you mean by nothing?
Me: Hahaha. Just leave it, okay. You already know what it is. Don’t try to make me say it.
Uma: I do not understand. Make you say what, baby?
Me: Umaa Ji! No… No… No…
Uma: Hahaha. It’s been a long time since you called me ‘Uma Ji’. You used to do that when you were a kid
Me: I know, Mom. I remember.
Uma: But, leave that for now. Will you please tell me why your boxers are so tight?
Me: You are irritating me, Mom. Stop asking why. You already know!
Uma: I am the one who is getting pissed off. Why can’t you just tell me what it is, instead of trying to evade my question?
Me: Stop messing with me mom. Please!
Uma: I don’t get it, my boy. Why do you have to act so weird all the time? I can guess it is something very silly. But, why can’t you just tell me?
Me: It is indeed something very silly, Mom. Just leave it, please. Don’t even bother to guess.
Uma: Is there anything wrong with the boxers, Ravi? Something like they are not branded and the stitch is poor. And you are worried I will ask you how you are spending the money we give you to buy your clothes.
Me: Mom. Enough! Hahaha. Enough, okay.
Uma: Why are you laughing? Just tell me what it is then. Don’t make me look so stupid.
Me: It’s something personal, Mom. I hope that will do.
Uma: Oh!
Me: Yes, Mom.
Uma: Hmmm. Okay, baby. Now, listen. I know you are a big boy, but I am your mother. I have crossed your age myself. I know how things can be during this period of your life. So, whatever it is, you can tell me. I can help you.
Me: Mom…
Uma: Yes baby. I am right here. Tell me. I am listening.
Me: It is not something I need help with, Mom.
Uma: It is alright, baby. I am your friend. You don’t have to feel shy. You can tell me.
Me: Oh, Mom. You are so dumb! Don’t you understand? It is the size of my penis!
Uma: Oh my… What? What did you just say?
Me: Exactly what you just read. I gave you an answer to your question. I told you the truth, Mom. Are you happy now?
Uma: When did I ask you anything about your size? I cannot believe you just said that. Is this how you talk to your mother?
Me: My dear naive Mom. I am not trying to be rude, here. I am just telling you the facts. My boxers look tight, I mean tighter than when others usually wear because my penis is big. My penis is bigger than what most people have.
Uma: And how big?
Me: Oh, come on. Stop this conversation, Mom. This is embarrassing.
Uma: No. Tell me! If you think you have grown so big, to talk such shit, and say this kind of gross stuff to your own mother. Be a man enough to tell me your size too.
Me: What is this, Mom? I had to tell you that because you asked me for the reason. You kept asking me. I am sorry, Mom. I did not mean to disrespect you. Please don’t get angry, now.
Uma: Just stop it. Okay! Stop faking your ‘good loving son’ act. Do you get me? You just showered me with the kind of expletive a shameless creep will tell a paid whore. I hope you will someday realize the magnitude of your mistake. I am not cursing you, only because I gave birth to you.
Me: Enough of this, Mom. I told you so many times I do not want to tell you why my boxers looked tight. You forced me.
Uma: I agree. It was my mistake. I should have never talked to you. I thought I knew my son. I was wrong. Now, just, tell me what the size of your penis is, and walk out of my mind, graciously. That is the least you can do.
Me: I am just too tired of this, Mom. This is not what I was hoping for, after we bonded so well, last week. Fine. Have it your way. So, listen. My penis is 9 inches.
Uma: What?
Me: 9 inches. That is how long I am.
Uma: What the…Hahahha!
Me: What, now?
Uma: Hahaha.
Me: Why are you laughing, Mom?
Uma: Okay. I admit I was only half-angry at you. And I was actually trying to get you very annoyed. And maybe also tell you that you cannot talk like that to anybody. But this is too much, baby. Who will have a penis so big? And that too when your Dad is not even 4 inches long. Hahaha. You are so funny!
Me: Mom.
Uma: Ravi Baby… I was just kidding okay. I am not angry at you. But don’t lie like this.
Me: I am not lying, Mom.
Uma: Hahaha. Don’t make me laugh anymore. Just stop lying, will you?
Me: I am not lying, Mom. Why would I need to?
Uma: Ravi. Hahaha. You can say whatever you want. You know I won’t ask you for proof, and you can get away. But your mom is smart enough to know that what you said is not possible.
Me: Why would I want to make up something like that so early in the morning?
Uma: You saying a big lie has nothing to do with the current time. And, just because it is 4:00 AM, does not mean you are saying the truth. Maybe, you have always been bragging about your penis and managed to get away because nobody cared to ask you to show them the ‘truth’. But, there is no way I will believe you. Hahaha. Liar!
Me: Mom, don’t call me a liar. I don’t like it. Because I never lie.
Uma: Hahaha. Ravi is a liar!
Me: Oh yeah? Ask me for proof then. Ask me, if you have the guts, Mom.
Uma: What? Hahaha. Such audacity! Okay, then. Just show me your tiny penis. Haha! Or should I ask you like how they do in the films? Can you please show me your monster, my dear son? This boy. Hahaha. I can’t stop laughing, Ravi. I never knew you there was a joker in you. Haha!
Me: Fine. If that is what you want, I have had enough of this, Mom.
(Ravi pulls down his tight boxers and sends his mother a picture of his naked cock. For some reason, he is semi-erect, and his manhood has already stretched to its full size.)
Uma has received the picture her son Ravi, sent her. And she has just opened it.
Uma: Oh my… Oh my… How is this possible?
Me: What is it now, Mom?
Uma: It’s that…
Me: Mom, before you say anything, let me just tell this to you. I know we have been texting non-stop for more than two hours now. I feel I have just crossed the line. I should not have. And I am so sorry about it, Mom.
Uma: Ravi, listen…
Me: Let me just complete, Mom. I know I should not have sent you that picture. It just happened. And I know you are equally bothered about it. And I know you are trying to talk about it. I know that you were sure I will never send a picture like this. I am sorry.
Uma: No Ravi..… You got me all wrong. That is not at all what I was thinking.
Me: Then? What is it then?
Uma: No… I mean… Err… It’s actually nothing…
Me: Tell me, Mom… Please… Don’t make me feel worse about this.
Uma: Baby, no, It’s not something you have to feel bad about. It’s that… I mean… It’s the size of your penis. It is very long.
Me: See, Mom! I told you. I told you already, didn’t I? You should have just believed me. Look at where you have got us, now. Everything feels so strange.
Uma: And so thick.
Me: What? Mom?
Uma: You are so big!
Me: Mom! What is… Are you even reading any of my texts?
Uma: Oh darling. You are big. Just like you told me. You are so big, my dear son.
Me: I know I am big, Mom. I told you I am big. But, this is still so weird. All the earlier texts felt funny to an extent, but this no more is.
Uma: Yes, Ravi. I know how you might be feeling. I feel unusual, too. I did not think you would ever send me a picture like that. But, I did not think a penis as long as 9 inches was also possible. That is why I did not believe you.
Me: Do you believe me now?
Uma: Yes my baby. Yes. I just want to… I am sorry I did not believe you earlier. And I got us into this mess.
Me: Phew… Great… Mom, I am glad you believe me. I never lie. Maybe I hide a few things when I feel they don’t matter. But I never lie. Especially when I am being asked something. And, so, I never liked being called a liar. Maybe I overreacted. It just happened in the heat of the moment. Let’s just forget this, Mom. I hope you are not angry with me.
Uma: Come on, Ravi. Not at all. I was never angry at you. I am just sorry about this whole thing. I could have avoided this. Sorry, okay!
Me: Please, Mom. No! Please don’t say sorry. It is not your fault. I am to be blamed. I should have been more careful. I should have been able to tell you what it was. I should not have acted so shy and confused you. That is what worsened the situation. I will be more open and straight forward with you, from here on.
Uma: Yes, baby. You don’t have to feel reluctant about discussing things with me. You know you can trust me. I will always be there for you.
Me: Yes, Mom. And, now, since we are all cool, please delete that picture, Mom. It is not right, and not at all okay.
Uma: What is not okay, baby?
Me: A picture of a man’s penis in your phone. Please delete it from the gallery. Also, from our chat.
Uma: Hahaha… Oh, Ravi… A random man’s penis on my phone is a problem. But, this is my son’s. That is not a problem.
Me: Please, Mom. Dad will see. He uses your phone so often.
Uma: So what?
Me: We are simply asking for trouble, Mom. I don’t want him to think anything wrong about me.
Uma: Excuse me! Think what wrong about you?
Me: Mom, I don’t want him to think that I am sending you such pictures.
Uma: If your Dad sees a picture of your penis on my phone, and realizes I did not tell him about it, he is going to think wrong about, both, you and me. And not just you, Ravi. He is definitely going to think we have been exchanging such pictures.
Me: Mom, exactly! That is what. So, please delete the picture. Delete the picture I sent you earlier, in my boxers, too. I do not want him to think anything wrong about us.
Uma: Hahaha… Oh, Ravi. You are so cute.
