Update-3
Ramdheer--aisa hai sir to bataiye na. Please sir mana nahi kariyega. Bataiye na ki aakhir aisa kya hua ki aap aise ban gaye. Aakhir kya wajah thi sir?
Sikandar--ab kya bataun tujhe.Theek hai to sun,us wajah ka naam hai Meera.
Ab aage:-
Ramdheer--Meera! Sir ye meera kon hai? Koi love vagera ka chakkar hai kya?
Sikandar--Sun to le. Beech me hi bol padta hai. Tu hi suna le story 1 kaam kar. Gaandu bhosdi ka. Sun ab,beech me disturb mat kariyo.
Flashback:-(Sikandar's POV)
Ab tujhe kya bataun raamdheer. Meera ki story jaan ne ke liye apne ko thoda peeche jana hoga. Ramdheer tu kursi kyon peeche kar raha hai. Abbe gandiye waqt me peeche jaana hoga. Bachpan, ye time sabko pyara hota hai. Yeh vo waqt hota hai jab sabhi log achhe bure ka farq samajh rahe hote hai. Kuch log is waqt ko padh-2 ke ghis dete hai to vahin kuch hote hai jo is time me khul ke apni zindagi jeena chahte hain. Khul ke samajh raha hai, matlab ghoomna firna,movie dekhna, party karna, teacher ke sath mazaak karna,vagera-2. Sab log kehte hain ki main apna bachpan fir se jeena chahta hun lekin main shayad pehla aadmi hoon jo fir se us time ko nahi jeena chahta. Mera to bachpan us din shuru hua jab mujhe sarkari hospital ke bed par hosh aaya tha. 10 saal ka tha main jab ek accident me main anath ho gaya. Mujhe to ghanta kuch yaad nahi tha ki mai kon hun,kaha se aaya hun,mera parivaar kon hai. Doctor saala mujhse puch raha tha ki kaisa feel kar rahe ho. Par us saale ko kon batata ki yaha to kuch feel hi nahi ho raha. Shayad ho bhi raha ho par us time to ye bhi samajh baaki nahi thi ki is feeling ko kehte kya hai. Kuch din aise hi bistar par pada raha. Jab chalne-firne layak ho gaya to mujhe bataya doctor ne ki mere maa-baap nahi rahe. Tab bhi kuch feel na hua. Hote bhi kaise, jo log mujhe yaad hi nahi the unke hone ya na hone se kya farak padta hai. Doctor ne mujhse pucha ki aage kya karoge to pehli baar mehsoos hua. Shayad ghabrahat thi ya shayad bahot zoron wala darr. Saala uske question ne seedha dimaag ko touch kiya tha. Sochne par majboor kar diya tha saale ne ki aage ki zindagi kaise kategi. Tab ek aadmi aaya mere paas. Mere baap ka dost tha vo. Usne mujhse pucha ki mere sath rehna chahoge to mana karne ki himmat na hui. Saale ke yeh bolte hi mann me ek umeed si aa gayi thi. Mere dimaag me yeh nahi aaya ki kisi ka pyaar mil jayega. Pyaar kya hota hai yeh to mujhe pata hi nahi tha par lag raha tha ki jo bhi ho aage ki zindagi kaise na kaise kat to jayegi. Jab mai uske ghar pahoncha to pata chala police me bada adhikaari hai,acha khasa ghar tha.Bola jaye to life set thi. Vo mujhse kehta tha ki mujhe papa bol liya karo lekin main bhi sochta tha ki jab yeh mera baap hai hi nahi to kyon ise papa bolun. Par papa nahi bolun to kya bolun. Tabhi dimmag me aaya ki uncle bol lenge. Jab school jana shuru kiya to ye baat to saaf ho gayi ki dost banana apne bass ki baat nahi. Abbey gaand fatati thi ki yeh konsi duniya me aa gaya. Saala sab log aise treat karte the jaise jaadoo ko dekh liya ho. School me teen tareeke ke log hote hain - ek jo aapko samajh paate hai, dusre vo jo aapko samajh nahi paate aur apne kaam me lage rehte hai aur teesre vo jinki samajh me aap agar nahi aaye to unki gaand me suar ka baal hota hai. Saala apni gaand se baal nikalne ki jagah tumhari gaand maarne lagte hai. Aaj kal ke log aise bachon ko 'bully' kehte hain par hamare zamane me to aise logon ko cool dudes maana jata tha. Saala mai bhi in logon ke beech fas gaya. Sumit naam ka ek launda tha jo saala mujhe roz tang kiya karta tha. Pehle to mere sath pranks karta tha aur jab pranks se mann bhar gaya to maar peet karne laga. Maa ka loda aaj bhi uske baare me sochta hu na to dimaag me jwalamukhi sa fatne lagta hai. Ek baat maine seekh li thi ramdheer ki duniya madarchod hai aur agar tum madarchod nahi ban paye na to yeh duniya tumhe kuchal ke aage nikal jayegi. Mai bhi jab tak bardasht kar sakta tha kiya aur jab nahi hua to uncle ko maine bol diya ki mujhe martial art seekhna hai. Koi sa bhi sikhwa do lekin aisa sikhwao ki saala saamne wale ki gaand tod dun. Pehle usne aanakaani ki baad me maan gaya aur bhej diya mujhe 1 krav maga school me. Chaar saal lag gaye khud ko itna taiyar karne me ki saala sumit aur uski poori gang ki gaand tod sakun. Aur ek din tod bhi di sabki gaand. Saalon ko itna mara ki 2 mahine hospital me pade rahe. Principal ne uncle ko bulaya aur bataya ki maine kya kiya. Lekin vo kar bhi kya sakte the kyoki vo time to unke hath se nikal gaya tha jab vo mujhe kaaboo kar paate. Fir to yeh silsila ban gaya. Mai mahine do mahine me kisi na kisi ki gaand todta aur uncle har baar maafi mangte rehte. Yeh silsila college me bhi nahi thama. Mere mann me 1 baat ghar kar gayi thi ki bura aadmi baaton se nahi sudhar sakta. Usko sudharne ke liye haath-paon ka istemaal karna hi padta hai. Dheere-2 pata chala ki ye poori duniya hi aise keedon se bhari padi hai to inki safai ke liye socha uncle ki tarah hi police me bharti ho jaun. To daal diya maine bhi form UPSC ka. Jab clear ho gaya to bhej diya mereko bhi mussoorie. Uncle khush ki launda banega polica wala. Unko kya maaloom tha ki unka launda to license lene ja raha hai taaki yeh hai na apne rana brothers, in jaise haramiyon ki gaand maar sakun.
Training ka first week jab khatam hua to mai aise hi mussoorie ghoomne nikal pada. Saala kya jagah thi. Mumbai ki garmi ne dimaag ki jo gaand maari thi vo pura yahan ki sard hawaon ne shaant kar diya. Pura din ghoomne ke baad mai mast 1 CCD me baitha tha ki tabhi saala waha aa gaye kuch ameer baap ki bigadi auladein. Saala ek toh aadmi ameer kya ban jata hai apne aap ko raja hi samjhne lagta hai aur unke bache to apne aap ko Prince samajhne lagte hain. Saala inko lagta hai ki poori duniya inki baap ki jaageer hai aur inke lund pe naachegi.
Coffee shop pe ek group baitha hua tha- all girls ka. Tabhi saale vo laundo ki nazar pad gayi un ladkiyon pe aur kood pade saale laar tapkate hue.
Ladka1--Bhai kya mast maal hai.
Ladka2--Agar ye raat ke liye mil jaaye to poori raat dhakke lagate hue kat jaye.
Ladka3--Chalo aao. Zara baatcheet karke rate fix karte hain.
Vo sab uthke un ladkiyon ke group ke paas pahoch gaye aur lage apna kaam karne. Ab shayad un ladkiyon ne unki baat sun li thi to vo bhi thoda ghabra gayi par react nahi kar rahi thi.
Ladka1--Hello beautiful. How r u? Akele-2 coffee pi ja rahi hai.
Ladki1--Pi jaa rahi hai to kya tere baap ke paise ki pi rahi hun. Chal nikal yahan se.
Ladka2--Arre kya kadak maal hai. Gussa bhi karti hai. Aaj raat to rangeen kategi.
Ladki2--Ae mr. niklo yaha se varna police me complaint karungi.
Ladka3--Kar de,dekhta hu kon aata hai.
Itna kehte hi vo sab lage unhe chhedne. Chhedne kya lage,manmani par hi utar aaye the. Koi kisi ka hath pakde to koi kisi ke kandhe par hath daale. Yeh dekhkar to mai khush ho gaya ki saala hafta bhar ho gaya tha aur hathon me khujli bhi bahot ho rahi thi. Upar wale ko ye sunhera mauka dene ke liye thanx bolke main ek hath me coffee cup leke unki taraf chal pada. Unki table ke paas pahochte hi maine ek ki gardan peeche se pakdi aur saamne wali table par saale ki khopdi de maari-'Bamm'. Awaaz hote hi sab ke sab hume hi dekhne lage aur un laundon ki to gaand hi fatt gayi. Vo ladka jiski khopdi maine de ke maari thi,vo to apna sar pakad ke zameen par gir gaya aur dard se karahne laga.
Mai--kya beedu log. Ladki chhedi jaa rahi hai haan. Maza aa raha hoga. Par kya hai na maze ke chakkar me limit nahi bhoolni chahiye varna maza saza ban jaati hai.
Ladka1--Behan ke lode. Tu hai kon. Saale lagta hai mussoorie me naya aaya hai, tabhi mujhse panga le raha hai. Lagta hai tu mere baap ko nahi janta. Mera baap...
Mai(beech me baat kaatate huye)--Mat bata. Mujhe nahi janana kyoki agar mai jaan gaya to tere baad tere baap ko bhi maarunga. Kam se kam abhi safe to hai bechara.
Ladka1(haste huye)--lagta hai bahot charbi hai tujhe. Tabhi yaha aa gaya. Koi nahi beta,teri saari charbi utaar denge. Saale tujhe dikhai nahi deta hum yaha 6 hai aur tu akela.
Mai--hmmm vo to hai.
Ladka1--lagta hai darr gaya. Par ab koi fayda nahi kyoki ab to tera pitna pakka hai. Apne ajaam ke baare me sochke pehle darrna chahiye tha.
Mai--baat to tu sahi keh raha hai. Darr to lag raha hai mujhe par apna anjaam soch ke nahi balki tera anjaam sochke.
Ladka1--khade-2 dekh kya rahe ho,maaro saale ko.
Uska 1 saathi bhaagte huye meri taraf aane laga to mere hath me jo coffee cup tha,uski coffee maine uske muh par fenk di. Apne chehre par garam coffee padti hi saale ki halat kharab ho gayi aur vo apna chehra pakad ke chillane laga. 2 aur bande meri taraf bhagte huye aaye to 1 ko maine dodge kiya to vo bhaagte-2 mere peeche nikal gaya. Dusre ne mere chehre par right hand se punch maarna chaha to mai side hat gaya aur uska haath peeche se pakad liya. Maine uski baaju pe apna elbow de maara to saala vo bhi laga chillane lekin mai to thaira beraham aadmi, saale ki gale ke side me maine apni elbow de maari aur uske leg joint pe laat maar ke gira diya. Jisko maine abhi dodge kiya tha vo mujhe maarne aaya to maine uske pait me ek zor ka mukka de mara. Vo apne pait ko pakad ke uchal gaya aur apne ghutno ke bal zameen par baith gaya. Maine uske chehre par laat de maari to saale ka sar doosri taraf se table se takra gaya. Ab khaali 2 hi khade the par apne saathiyon ko maar khate dekh kar bhi saalon ki gaand nahi fat rahi thi. Is baat par to laundon par proud feel hua. Dil to keh raha tha ki chhod du saalo ko par dimaag keh raha tha ki dopamine release bhi to chahiye. Un me se 1 mujhe maarne aane laga.Maine nazar aas-paas daudai to dekha ki ek waiter waha par apne hath me khaali tray liye khada tha. Maine uske hath se tray li aur us launde ke sar par de maari. Vo bhi apna sar pakad ke neeche baith gaya par mere mann ne nahi mana to maine 2-3 baar uske sar par tray de maari. Saala vo bhi neeche gir gaya. Itne me jiska sar maine table par de maara tha vo khada hone laga aur yahi uski zindagi ki sabse badi galti saabit huyi. Meri nazar uspe pad gayi to mai bhi uski taraf badh gaya. Vo khada hoke kuch samajh pata ki isse pehle hi maine uski gardan fir se pakdi aur dobara table par de maari. Mai to ek baar maarke chhodne wala tha par fir socha ke chhod diya to fir uth jayega aur fir ispar mehnat karni padegi. Abhi iska kaam nipata deta hun. Yahi sochte huye maine 2 baar aur uska sar table par de maara. Yeh bhi "wasted" ho gaye. Saala unka leader gandfattu nikla. Baatein to itni badi-2 chod raha tha par saala 1 baar bhi abhi maarne nahi aaya tha. Itne me unme se 1 uth gaya aur mujhe dhundne laga. Mai uske peeche khada tha to mai dabe paun uske paas gaya aur jaise hi vo meri taraf muda, maine saale ki chin mar shaun michaels style wali "SWEET CHIN MUSIC" kick de maari. Patt ki awaaz poore room me fail gayi. Mai mast 1 table par baith gaya tha ki peeche se aake us leader ne mera collar pakad liya. Jab tak mai peeche mudta saale ne mere muh par 2 mukke laga diye. Saala mera to dimaag hi kharaab ho gaya. Jaise hi saale ne teesra mukka marna chaha,maine uska hath pakad liya aur uske muh par 1 mukka de mara. Ab mai kaha rukne wala tha. Maine saale ke muh par mukkon ki baarish kar di bilkul Ip Man style me. Saala vo neeche ghutno ke bal gir gaya par mujhe kaha uspe raham tha. Mai to saale ko abhi bhi mukke diye ja raha tha. Mera para saatwe aasmaan par tha. Itne me mujhe peeche se kisi ladki ke chillane ki awaaz aayi-"Stop it. Vo mar jayega". Is awaaz ko sunte hi aisa laga jaise kisi ne arijit singh ka romantic music chaalu kar diya hai. Maine palat ke dekha to vo unhi ladkiyon ke group me khadi thi. Use dekhte hi zindagi bhar ke saare dukh dard door ho gaye. Kya chehra tha uska, seedhe mere dil me utar gaya. Aisa lag raha tha jaise upar waale ne saare jahan ki khoobsurati ise hi de di ho. Usne pehle un ladkon ko dekha aur fir lagi mujhe gaali bakne par mera dhyaan to uske chehre par hi tha. Uski gaali bhi mere dil me amrit ka ras ghol rahi thi. Use dekh ke main samajh gaya ki yahi hai vo jise mere liye banaya gaya hai. Vahi ladki thi Meera. Meri Meera.
Present:-
Ramdheer--waah sahab, lagta hai meera madam to bahot khoobsurat hai jisse aap jaise ko bhi pyaar ho gaya. Varna aapko to aaj tak maine kisi ladki se baat karte nahi dekha tha.
Ramdheer ki baat sunte hi sikandar present me aaya. Aur uske baad to uske poore jism me jaise aag hi lag gayi. Meera ki yaadein uske zehan me ghoomne lagi aur fir use vo manhoos din bhi yaad aa gaya jis din uski poori zindagi ki gaand marr gayi thi.
Ramdheer--sahab aage kya hua, bataiye na.
Sikandar--arre yaar ye tu konsi baatein leke baith gaya. Chhod na, chal daaru pi.
Ramdheer samajh gaya ki sikandar aage batana nahi chahta to usne bhi baat ko vahi rok diya aur dono daaru peene lage. Achanak tv par bhi sheetal case ki news aane lagi to sikandar ka dimaag kharab ho gaya.
Sikandar--Ae madarchod.Band kar isko. Kya randapa laga rakha hai ye. Band kar ise. Maa ka bhosda in teeno ki band kar.
Kisi ne tv par channel change kar diya. Sikandar to ab poore gusse se jal raha tha.
Ramdheer--vaise sahab aapka kehna galat nahi tha ki paise wale khud ko raja samajhte hai. Arre samajhte kya vo to hote hi hain raja,tabhi to bade se bada galat kaam karke bhi bach jaate hai. Ab in teeno ko hi dekh lo,aapne kitna case banaya inke khilaaf par bach gaye na aakhir me. Saala hum log bhi toh chutiya hain jo kuch kar hi nahi paate. Kuch karna chaahe to hamare hath baandh diye jaate hain. Saala saal me to kam se kam 1 din hona chahiye jab hum khul ke in jaise logon ki baja sake. Kabhi aisa din aa jaye to main to saala in jaison ka lund hi kaat dun. Lekin pata nahi kab aayega vo din. Kya bolte ho sir?
Sikandar(apne gilaas ko khaali karte huye)--chinta mat kar ramdheer, vo din aayega,bahot jald aayega.