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A loud truck horn woke me up. I opened my eyes, was blinded by the bright sunshine, and closed them again. I slowly opened them again and tried to make sense of where I was. And why it was so bright.
What the hell? I was on the roof of our house, curled up naked under a thin sheet that was half covering me. My first instinct was to pull it to cover everything, and then sit up. I was buck naked with just a sheet on the roof. The roof that was visible to a bunch of other houses and buildings all around. I had no recollection of how I got there. In fact I had no recollection of anything at all.
And then it all started coming back to me. The celebration with my friends. Then Lallan forcing himself on me. The fucking, the blowjob, vague flashes of the sodomy. But that's where it ended. What had happened after he invaded my asshole on my bed? How did it I end up here on the roof?
Carefully, I looked around. None of the immediate neighbors were on their roofs, thankfully. I scanned the balconies of the buildings. I saw some people. I didn't know of they saw me. Luckily, I was in a relatively secluded corner of the roof and not far from the door.
I wrapped the sheet around my naked body and walked into the house.
"Hello?" I called out. "Lallan?"
I walked down the stairs. The house seemed empty. It was a mess though. Furniture and other stuff knocked over, four empty liquor bottles on the cabinet, plates of food spread around the living area. Jesus, what all happened last night?
I could not think too much because my entire body was hurting. My head throbbed. My arms hurt, my thighs were sore. My cunt felt like it had been pummeled with rocks. But the worst was my sore asshole. It hurt and it was sticky. Lallan had definitely and successfully sodomized me.
And then I heard my phone ringing. I didn't know where it was. I followed the sound and found it under one of the couches in the living room.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Hey honey, how's it going?" It was Anup, my husband.
I tried to say something but no words came out.
"You there, Shikha?"
"Yeah....yeah I'm here." I said, laboriously walking around the house, trying to see if Lallan was still around.
"Haha, you sound hungover. Looks like the Stanford celebration was really wild." he said in his usual good humored way.
"Yes, wild. Very wild." I said, clutching my throbbing head.
"So....what else is new?" he casually asked.
And I had a long answer ready at the tip of my tongue. What is new is that your wife has just been raped by a random sadistic slum thug. He even fucked her in the ass. And made her give him a blowjob, something which she still doesn't do for you. But instead, I just said,
"Not much. Listen, I am late for work. Can I call you later?"
"Sure, honey. Love you."
"Love you too."
I disconnected the call and then checked my phone. It was a little past 9 in the morning. There were a couple of missed calls from Anup. Then a couple of missed calls from a number I did not recognize. And a text message in Hindi from the same number.
- Fun night. Address by 3 pm. Or it all goes on whatsapp.
I then opened whatsapp and saw that Lallan had sent me dozens of pictures and videos. Of me naked, bending over, sucking his dick, getting fucked. I was barely able to get through a handful of them before closing the app.
I slumped to the floor. So it was not all some nightmare. It really happened. My perfect life, with the perfect husband and the perfect future, had been shattered because of one stupid mistake. That of saying my address out loud in front of Lallan.
I went to the bathroom, started the shower and just stood under it crying, letting the water wash all over me, willing it to clean me of the dirtiness of the previous night.
The most cruel irony here was that the rational and professional side of me, the one who counseled women about the right thing to do, was very clear on what should happen next. I call Inspector Dubey, make a formal complaint that I was raped by Lallan. That pushes him from just an abusive husband on the run to a full on rapist. The police machine kicks into high gear to hunt him down. Given my personal warm relationship with cops, they would take the case very personally and hunt him down before the end of the day. I get therapy myself, come to terms with the trauma of what happened, move on.
Sounded very logical and straightforward. But then, for the first time, I found myself in the shoes of the very women I counseled. And I realized, it's not always that easy.
Lallan had these dozens of pictures and videos of me. Even if he was arrested, or rather, especially if he was arrested, they would be forwarded far and wide. Everyone would see them. I didn't know if I could live down the shame. And more importantly, I didn't know if I would ever get taken seriously in the social work field ever again. Even if it wasn't my fault.
I was in the shower for almost an hour. Finally I dried myself, went back to the bedroom, which was a mess. I could see a bunch of stains on the sheets. I put on a clean pair of panties and a bra. It almost felt strange to have fabric against my skin after being naked for so many hours at a stretch.
Just as I was pulling on some trousers and thinking about what to do next, my phone rang. The screen said "Inspector Dubey".
"Hello?"
"Hi Shikha, how are you doing?"
"Hi Anil." I sounded as tired as I was. And the canny cop that he was, he heard it right away.
"Shikha.....are you okay?" he sounded concerned.
The words got stuck in my throat. No, Anil, I am not okay. I have just been raped all night by the very sadistic psychotic monster we talked about. Please catch him. But then those pictures and videos flashed in front of my eyes.
"Yeah....just a little tired and hungover. Had a late night celebrating the Stanford admit with some friends." I said.
"Ah okay. Anyway....I am calling with some news about that Parvati-Lallan situation." he said.
"Oh."
"I am afraid I have some bad news. I had a few cop friends in other states track down Lallan's truck after our last conversation. Turns out he's not on it. Looks like someone told him what happened and he is on the run."
"Oh....that's too bad." I said, trying to sound genuinely surprised.
"We will keep an eye out for him of course. But you be careful, okay? You know how these guys can end up blaming social workers for what happened. Just watch your back, and if you see or feel anything suspicious, call me."
Again, the rational part of me was crying out, tell him, TELL HIM!
"Thanks, Anil. Will do."
"Anyway, at least we got the wife and girls out in time. So even if this guy is in the run, at least they are safe. You did great convincing her, Shikha."
"Oh yeah, that's the good thing." I said. "Where did Parvati end up by the way?"
There was silence on the line for a couple of seconds.
"Shikha, you know I can't tell you that." he said in a solemn.
"Oh yes, of course. I understand. I was just thinking, if it isn't too far, I might visit her before going to the US."
"We can arrange for a video conference call if you like."
"That would be great. But there is something much more warm about meeting in person, isn't there?"
He was silent again for a while.
"Shikha, the reason you and I get along so well is we are both absolutely by-the-book people."
"I know. I respect that about you." I said.
"So you, more than anyone else, should realize that I can't share that information with you."
"True. Sorry I asked. I'm just.....hungover." I said.
"Anyway, just be cautious. Look over your shoulder. I have already told the security guys at your office to be vigilant."
"Thanks Anil."
"Alright, I gotta go. Bad guys to catch. Bye, Shikha."
My body still hurting, I continued getting dressed for work. I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself carefully. Lallan had been careful not to leave any bruises or scars on my face. None of his slaps had left any trace there. However, my shoulders, arms, stomach, ass, were all covered with blue-black bruises from his handiwork. I wore a full-sleeve kurta on top. Once I got dressed, I also put on make-up, which I rarely did. Mainly to disguise my tired and haggard face.
It still wasn't enough to completely hide something from my colleagues. Almost everyone I met was saying some variant of,
"Shikha, are you feeling okay? You don't look good."
And I would respond with,
"I'm fine, just hungover from a late celebration."
In my office, I just sat staring at my computer for an hour until getting started on my reports and paperwork. I was surrounded by professionals in an NGO dedicated to helping battered and abused women. I had been battered and abused all night. I could just walk into any office and talk about it. But I didn't. I had other things on my mind.
Soon my phone rang again. I recognized the number and my heart sank. I had no choice but to answer.
"Hello."
"How's that ass feeling?" Lallan's arrogant voice seemed to blare in my ear.
"What do you want?"
"You know what I want."
"Yes, I saw your message." I said. And now, in the clear light of day, sober, I tried to reason with him. "Lallan, I really don't have access to that information. The system is designed precisely to stop something like this from happening. To keep a wife's location confidential so the abusive husband doesn't track her and extract revenge."
"Fuck you, cunt. I told you, I don't want to extract revenge. I just want my wife and girls back."
"But I'm telling you I don't....."
"I'm not going to debate you, memsaab. 3 PM. Or you become the latest porn sensation on whatsapp."
And he hung up.
At noon, I was standing on the third floor of our building, just around my boss Mrs. Khanna's office. She ran the whole show. I had a great rapport with her. I also knew her habits. Because of her diabetes, she always left for lunch at the exact same time. So predictable, you could set your watch by it. I waited for her as I mentally rehearsed the story I had come up with.
Sure enough, the door opened, and she walked out with her purse. I walked towards her.
"Oh hi Shikha, were you coming to see me? I'm going for lunch."
"Yes, Mrs. Khanna. I need to print out some reports for the Walters Foundation grant, and my computer is just updating Windows."
"I see. Why don't you use one of the secretary's computers?"
"I need senior level access for those files which the secretary's computers don't have. Do you mind pulling them up for me real quick?"
She looked at her watch and grimaced.
"I really need to eat something, Shikha."
"Oh I am so sorry, I didn't realize...."
"No no, it's fine. Listen." she looked around to make sure we were alone and whispered. "Just log in to my computer and print the reports. My password is newdelhi666, all lowercase."
"Are you sure, Mrs. Khanna? I don't want to invade your privacy."
"Nah, I trust you, Shikha." she smiled. And that stung my conscience a little. "Anyway, I need to go. Help yourself."
I waited until she left and then went into her office. Logged in using her password. And then opened her email client, knowing that she was one person who would have access to the information about Parvati's relocation. And she would certainly have had to exchange that information over email with the police and the relocation team. A few quick searches and I had what I needed. I wrote the information on the inside of my left hand, quickly deleted all search logs, closed the windows, and left the office.
Back in my office, I stared at the address for a long time. I was the one who had convinced Parvati to leave Lallan. And now I had to be the one sending him back to her. How could I live with myself after that? No, I couldn't do this. I had to go to the cops, to my bosses, tell them everything.
But then I remembered Anup in sunny San Francisco. The acceptance email from Stanford. And the dozens of naked pics and videos of mine on whatsapp. Did I have a choice?
I sat and just stewed over this dilemma for a long time.
"You really cut it close, cunt." Lallan answered the phone without as much as a hello. "It is 2:56 pm. Just a few more minutes and I would have forwarded it to everyone I know."
"Well, yeah, whatever."
"Okay, so tell me."
"She is in Jaipur."
"Jaipur? I thought you said Surat."
"They changed plans at the last minute." I lied. "She is in Jaipur."
"Okay.....address?"
I was silent for a few seconds.
"Speak up, bitch!"
"Lallan, I need your absolute solemn promise and assurance that you are not going to be violent or abusive to her." I said. "Don't do that, please."
"I already told you, I'm changed." he said sounding sincere.
"Well, stick to that change please."
"Shut the fuck up and tell me what I asked you, bitch."
I sighed.
"Fine. Write it down."
--------
A couple of hours later, Mrs. Khanna came bustling into my office.
"Shikha....I am so confused." she said agitated. "You're resigning with immediate effect? Why???"
"Sorry, Mrs. Khanna. I know it's not fair of me. But there is just so much to do and take care of before moving to America."
"I know. We are preparing for you to leave. But with immediate effect?"
What could I say to her? That I cannot, in good conscience, continue doing my job after betraying one of its key tenets of confidentiality? That I lied and got access to her records to save myself?
"I am so sorry. But.....I need to go to Mumbai for some visa stuff right away anyway."
"Shikha.....this is so sudden."
"I know. I am very sorry."
I was jumpy on my way home. I kept expecting Lallan to jump out from somewhere and force himself on me again. But he was probably on his way to Jaipur.
I got home and started cleaning the mess that Lallan had made last night. I threw out all the bed sheets and pillows that he had come in contact with. I threw out the glasses and plates he had used.
And then I started mopping the floor. With a cloth in my hand. At one spot in the corner, where there was a sticky splotch of what was clearly semen, I suddenly had a random flash back. To sometime in the middle of the night that I had blanked out on til now. Lallan was fucking my mouth in that corner, with me on my knees. And then he started cumming. And he told me to swallow. Which I did. But some cum dripped out the side of my lips. And dropped on the floor. That's what I was looking at now.
I started scrubbing it. Hard. Somehow it seemed stickier than the others. I scrubbed and scrubbed. And then I just curled up there and cried again.
The next few days, I was displaying all the signs of what I myself recognized as post-traumatic rape syndrome. I had seen it from the other side, as a psychologist and therapist. Now I was living it. There was a perpetual sense of self-loathing for a variety of reasons. First was the hypocrisy of my staying silent and betraying Parvati after years and years of telling women to stand up to abusers. I knew the theory, I understood the logic, and I had sanctimoniously lectured lots of women to do the right thing.
And here I was, a privileged, connected, resourceful woman, who was better equipped than any of them to punish Lallan and hold him accountable, put him away for the rest of his life. And I was unable to go through with it. All under the threat of some naked pics being made public.
Another reason for self-loathing was succinctly summed up by one Lallan line that kept replaying in my head. When he had said in a very matter-of-fact way, "you came twice" after the first time he fucked me. It was true. All those dozens of pics and videos he sent me, I finally managed to make myself look at all of them. They told the story of the night in a sequential way that was difficult to ignore. That as the night progressed, I became a lot more willing participant in the activities, and by the end, there was no real threat or force being applied. I watched myself have orgasm after orgasm, in various rooms, in various positions, many times kissing Lallan passionately like a lover.
The mystery of why I ended up on the roof was solved in one particularly humiliating video.
It started to the sound of Lallan chuckling and the camera focused on my naked ass, with the flesh slowly jiggling. Then it zoomed out and I was visible crawling on all four up the stairs, having trouble getting the order of knees and hands right, very clearly drunk.
"Hahaha.....memsaab.....say it again what you said. About your fantasy."
"Want.....fuck......roof." I slurred.
A shiver ran through my body as I watched the video. I had never even come close to acting on this, but it was indeed a secret fantasy of mine for many years, to have sex on the roof. Over the years, Anup and I had taken a couple of calculated risks of outdoor sex, like on a deserted beach and once hiking in the empty wilderness. The peak of that would have been to have sex on our own roof. But obviously, it was such an idiotic risk, surrounded by neighbors who might hear or see and worse, videotape. So we had never taken that idiotic risk.
"Hahahaha....this rich slut told me she has the fantasy of being fucked on her own roof. It is about to get bright soon. And we have been fucking like animals all night. And yet she wants more. In the open."
This commentary continued as I crawled up and up the stairs, negotiating the bend in the stairs with great difficulty, and finally reaching the door of the roof.
That video ended. The next one had the sex on the roof in progress, although it was mostly dark. The phone was in Lallan's hand and you could make out from the moving outlines that I was on top of him and moving without any duress. And from the sounds I was making, clearly having a good time.
The PTSD manifested itself in other ways too. I was continuously paranoid, looking around, expecting Lallan or someone else to jump me at any moment. My heart was always racing. Every hour or so, I would measure my own heart rate and it was always about 40% above my resting heart rate. There was a continuous sense of fear and nervousness. It took a lot of effort to sound normal when talking with Anup over the phone or skype.
Anup didn't suspect anything was too wrong, except in one regard. I used to often do a little flashing or stripping on screen for him as he sat half the planet away. The next few days, I kept refusing to do it, being fully covered, and giving flimsy excuses. Couldn't tell him the truth, about all the bruises and hickeys, could I? Well, I could have, and he would have understood and flown back to take care of me. But I didn't want to. I just wanted to forget all this as soon as possible and start the San Francisco chapter of my life.
Anup was peeved at my sudden and continuing refusal to exhibit myself to him, and we had an argument, which was rare for us. We were one of those couples which never fought, mainly because we were both very easy-going and accommodating by nature. But this time, he got upset and sulked for a couple of days, not calling me, just texting.
Which was in a way fine. I loved talking to and seeing my beloved husband. But in the immediate aftermath of the night with Lallan, it was getting hard to keep up the facade.
Every day for the next few days, I showered four or five times. Again, the psychologist in me recognized the underlying motivations in this, to clean away guilt and a feeling of disgust.
After every shower, I would stand naked in front of the very mirror in which I had first seen Lallan fucking me, and examine the bruises all over my boobs, back, stomach, ass, thighs, arms, and shoulders. And the scientist in me would curiously look at the change in color as the bruises progressed from reddish-blue to green to black-brown to finally a weird looking yellow.
The pain elsewhere in my body, especially my ass, went away a lot faster than I expected. I had seen slum women get battered and be laid up or in pain for days. Maybe it was the benefit of my genes or my fitness regimen, but I bounced back fast, at least physically.
Non-physically, it was a different story. Bouts of panic and depression and guilt. Fitful sleep, tossing and turning, with recurring flashbacks and nightmares.
The biggest problem was figuring out what to do with my day, now that I had quit my job. Barring occasional holidays and vacations, I had never really had this much free time. Until now, I had always been busy during the week with 12-14 hour days, first studying, and then working. I knew grad school in Stanford would keep me busy too. But the intervening months would be hard, especially dealing with the PTSD.
I tried watching TV and reading books. But my mind wouldn't focus. One morning, about 2 restless days after I quit my job at the NGO, I found myself standing in front of our liquor cabinet.
At 8 AM.
It was Anup's hobby to collect different kinds of fancy booze and keep that push looking cabinet well-stocked, like some regal British aristocrat. His friends and family knew this, so kept sending stuff as gifts too.
Just a few weeks ago, Anup and I had discussed it on Skype.
"Hehe, today Nisha had come over and was admiring your booze collection. And was asking, how will it get used up, with you in the US?"
"Yeah, I have been wondering about that. You're not much of a drinker, at least not of the stuff you have. And you can't bring it all over."
"So what do you think? Give away to friends?"
"Yeah, or have a couple of drinking parties at home with all our friends to finish it. Your call."
"If we decide to give them away, there will be a stampede over the single malts."
"Haha, yeah, it's Delhi. Nothing is as worshiped as single malt."
Over the course of that violent and debauched night, Lallan and I had finished five bottles of hard liquor. I had seen them strewn all around the house. That made it almost two liters each of strong imported alcohol. Enough to cause alcohol poisoning in anyone except the most hardened alcoholic. I think it was the continuous strenuous physical activity of sex that had kept that from happening.
As I thought about that night again, I felt another bout of fear and panic and looked around to make sure I was alone at home. I went to the door and double checked the lock. Then I came back and grabbed the first bottle I could reach for.
It was 8:04 AM. Definitely wayyyyyy to early to get drunk. Maybe just a small drink, to calm my nerves. I opened the cap and without bothering with a glass, just put the bottle to my lip, like Lallan had done it.
The next thing I remember, it was almost noon. The bottle was one third finished. The door bell was ringing in the distance. Maybe it was the numbing effect of alcohol, but for the first time in a while, I did not feel crippling fear or panic. I blinked, got up, and slowly and carefully walked to the door.
"Registered letter." the courier guy said.
"Hmm." I took the pad from him to sign.
I heard him take a loud sniff and grimace a little as I handed back the pad and took the letter. I could see from his face that he had smelled the alcohol on my breath, and was probably judging me, thinking I am one of those rich alcoholic housewives who just sit around all day drinking.
Who cares? The letter had some information about our car insurance. I didn't even bother to open it. Went back to my bottle.
----------
The following week, I took a taxi to my former office. They had been asking me to come in to finish the final paperwork and also do the exit interview, and I had been postponing it for a while using some pretext or another.
I had spent the intervening days nearly perfecting the art of being a conscientious alcoholic. I was easily getting through a bottle or bottle and half of hard liquor a day. But I had to plan carefully to avoid detection. I would schedule my drinking around my Skype calls with my husband and the farewell social visits that I still had to make.
So for example, I would wake up and have a long daily Skype call with Anup, when he was leaving work in California, getting details of his day, putting up the facade of normalcy. He had stopped asking me to flash him and since the bruises were still there, I had not offered. We would get done with that call at about 8 AM. Then the drinking would start. Not leisurely sipping and savoring the drink, mind you. Be it expensive cognac or single malt of flavored vodka or tequila, my approach was to mix with with soda and chug fast. By 11, I would be nice and drunk. During this time, I would masturbate, shamefully, to the images and memories of my night with Lallan a bunch of times. The guilt of this made me drink even more.
Around 11, the masturbation and the booze would prove too much for my system. I'd drift off into a drunken slumber. From which I would awaken at about 2. Then it was time for lunch. Usually I loved cooking, even when I was alone, and made healthy elaborate meals. But not anymore. I'd either just make Maggi noodles or then order delivery from a nearby restaurant.
By the time the food reached, I would have started drinking again. I am sure all the delivery guys also smelled the booze on my breath and saw my bloodshot eyes, and had me pegged as a rich day drinking housewife. I would eat the food, go back to my schedule of drinking and playing with myself, and then pass out around 6 pm.
This nap was shorter. On most days, I had plans to meet some friends or others for dinner. I would wake up, chug a couple of cups of coffee to sober myself up, brush my teeth and use lots of mouthwash, and then go for dinner. Some friends did sense something was off and would ask if everything was okay. I'd just say I was just recovering from a fever. During dinner, Anup would usually call, having just woken up in California. I would excuse myself to talk with him. Then finish dinner, then come home. And drink myself to sleep. And then set an alarm for the next day to wake up for another call with Anup.
This morning, I had to finally go to the office. I had told myself to postpone drinking till I returned. But I was feeling particularly low that morning because Anup and I had another little tiff. He kept insisting there was something wrong that I wasn't telling him. And as tempted as I was, I couldn't bring myself to. There were a lot of angry and passive aggressive jabs at each other. I was in a foul mood.
So I took a few shots of tequila, then did the brush-and-mouthwash thing, and took an Uber to the office, not feeling sober enough to drive.
Have you ever been in that phase of early drunkenness, where you aren't exactly slurring or swaying, and have enough control to act normal? I was in that phase as I reached office. To the discerning eye, it can seem that you might be a bit drunk. But if you are confident and careful enough, you can get through it.
I entered the office and everyone from the cleaning staff to the secretaries to other counselors came to say hi. I had left very abruptly so this was the first chance they had to say goodbye properly. I think I managed those interactions competently. I could still see a couple of brows getting furrowed though. These were people who dealt with domestic issues and behavioral problems on a daily basis, as had I. I am sure I could tell a slightly drunk person, even if their breath smelled of mouthwash. Especially if their breath smelled of mouthwash. There is no reason for someone to have that minty fresh breath at 10 AM unless they are using it to mask some other smell. But no one said anything.
I was sitting in the personnel office filling out the exit forms. The clerk in charge of it either didn't notice or didn't care my mild inebriation. He told me what to do and returned to playing solitaire on his computer.
"There you are, Shikha! I heard you were in!"
I turned around and saw Dr. Nita, the head of the counselling team. She was Mrs. Khanna's boss, so my superboss. Unlike us counselors who had bachelors or masters degrees in psychology with training and experience, she was a full fledged psychiatrist, with a medical degree, a postgraduate degree, and a doctorate from Stanford, with twenty years of experience in the field. Licensed to practice psychiatry in India, UK, and USA. She was the one who had trained me and her recommendation letter had been pivotal in getting me into Stanford.
"Nita ma'am, hi!" I smiled, but felt a little nervous. She was too much of an expert to not read me. She bent down to hug me and I felt her sniff a little too.
"Boring paperwork, huh?" she said pointing at the forms with her eyes.
"It's not that bad." I shrugged. "I'll be done with this soon and then have my exit interview with Mrs. Khanna."
"That's what I came to tell you." she said, smiling. "Mrs. Khanna got called away for a meeting, so I will be doing your exit interview."
My heart sank.
"Oh....it's okay. You must be busy. I can come by later when...."
"Nonsense!" she cut me off. "I am never too busy for our staff, especially not a star counselor like you, headed to my alma mater Stanford. So when you're done here, just come on down to my office. I have an open schedule."
"Alright." I nodded.
Half an hour later, I knocked on the thick wooden door of her corner office nervously. In between, I had run to the restaurant next door and chugged a cold coffee to further suppress my inebriation.
"Shikha, please come in!" she opened the door and ushered me in, after a quick hug.
I had been to the office many times before, but it always intimidated me a little. Her degrees from AIIMS, Cambridge, and Stanford on the wall, next to lots of awards. A plush leather couch where she saw some patients, because she also worked as a psychiatrist. Antique furniture, paintings, a couple of busts of her intellectual idols, everything. She was one of my idols and role models.
I started walking towards the chair at her table, but she pointed me to the couch.
"Please sit here. It will be more comfortable." she said. I didn't know whether to read something into the fact that she was pointing me to the couch she usually sat patients in.
She took a seat in the armchair next to it and said,
"So...Shikha....I was going to offer you coffee, but from breath, I see you just had some."
"Yeah, was feeling a little drowsy." I smiled.
"Can I offer you something stronger, like tequila or whisky? I keep some in the office to entertain the VIP clients and donors." she said.
I just nervously laughed.
"Hahaha, no, it's fine. A bit early for it." I said.
Suddenly her face got very serious.
"Is it?"
I swallowed hard and just stared at her.
"Shikha, please don't insult my intelligence and my expertise. Nor your own."
"Nita....I don't..." although she was 50 years old, she always insisted everyone, from the peon to her subordinates, just call her Nita. No ma'am, no Dr. or Mrs whatever. Just Nita.
"You're drunk. At least you were drunk when you got here. A lot of the others noticed. And it's obvious to me." she sounded stern but also concerned.
"I...I am....well...." I switched to feeling offended. "If you must know, Nita, I did meet some friends for a mimosa brunch before I came here."
"Did you?"
"What are you implying?"
She sighed and sat back.
"Don't be that way, Shikha. You are too smart and too good of a counselor to know what you're doing is classic denial and evasion and turning the tables on me."
I stared at her defiantly. She met my gaze. I looked away.
"I thought this was supposed to be an exit interview about my job." I tried to change the subject.
She sighed again and opened a file.
"Okay, you want to talk about your job? Let's see. This Parvati case of yours. Which has just ended in....."
I cringed....I feared the worst....murder, abuse, something like that. I had betrayed Parvati by hacking into my boss' computer to get her relocation address and given it to her abusive husband.
"...it has ended in the first ever relocation reversal and rejection in our history."
"Excuse me?"
"This woman Parvati, came back to Delhi, and with her husband by her side, came here to talk to you and take back her complaints. We had to call in the police and do what she wanted. She is back home. With him, saying she wants to try to make things work. With a man both you and the cop on file, Inspector Dubey, describe as a psychopath."
"Oh! I had no idea!" I said, showing surprise, although inside, I was relieved she was okay.
Nita was staring at me, trying to read my expressions. Then she continued.
"Her official statement says that after relocation, she realized she had made a mistake. And so she contacted the husband. And he came to meet her. And they made up. And they want to give it another go."
"That is.....disappointing."
"I'm sure it is. I can see from the notes and from what I have heard that you worked really hard on this case."
"I did."
"Then what happened? Why do you think she recanted and returned him him?"
I looked at her and gave a small shrug.
"It happens....the cycle of abuse theory as Lenore..."
"Yes, yes, the cycle of abuse theory by Lenore Walker. I know all about it. Don't teach me social psychology, Shikha. I have learned more than you have forgotten." she angrily said.
I was taken aback by this outburst. I just sat there with my mouth open, my mind unable to race fast enough to come up with a palatable lie.
She looked a little embarrassed herself. She looked down at her notes for a few seconds. And then looked me at me.
"Shikha, please. Stop fighting me. Just tell me the truth. I know there is something you are hiding. You were one of our stars. I consider you a beloved protege. I wrote you a glowing recommendation for your PhD. I talked to folks at Stanford about you. You are destined for great things. This.....this makes no sense. You resign with immediate effect. Not even a notice period. You dodge our attempts to get you to come back in for so long. When you do show up, you are drunk in the morning. And this thing happens. Something is off. More importantly, something is wrong. Help me understand it. Just be honest."
"Nita....I.....I don't know..." I put my face in my hands and did my best not to cry.
She got up and joined me on the couch, putting her hands on my kurta. She rubbed the fabric a little, over my shoulder and then my back. I involuntarily took a sharp breath when her fingers rubbed a sore bruise. That made her pause.
"There is one more thing I was wondering about." she said. "It's a really hot day."
I raised my face and looked at her. She had trained me, so I knew where she was going with this.
"I have known you for many many years. You're not a prude when it comes to dressing. And you always favor comfort, I have noticed. When it is a really hot day, I see you in sleeveless kameezes or tops, capris, skirts. Never anything skimpy, but always comfortable. Today it is 42 celsius and you have come in wearing a full sleeve salwar kameez. And just now you....."
She trailed off and looked at me. My shoulders slumped.
I felt her hands slowly reach for my kameez and pull it up. I didn't resist. She pulled it up slowly and gasped when she was the bruises on my back and my stomach.
"I have seen enough." she said and dropped the fabric down.
She got up and paced a little. I just sat there like an errant student staring at my hands, my face red with shame. She spoke after a few seconds.
"Do you have any money in your purse?"
I was taken aback by that question. I looked up and nodded.
"Give me some. Anything. Even a one rupee coin."
I opened the purse, grabbed the first note I found and gave it to her.
"This 20 rupee note can be your first down-payment to hire me as your psycho-therapist. If you want me to serve in that capacity that is."
This was such a confusing development, that I looked at her with a genuinely baffled expression.
"Whatever we talk about in an exit interview can be reviewed by any senior management in the organization. But if you talk to me as a patient, well, I am licensed to practice psychiatry in multiple country, including USA where the patient privacy laws are way stricter than India. So I have to always adhere to them wherever I am. Whatever you tell me....."
".....is covered by doctor-patient confidentiality." I finished her thought, finally getting her point.
I nodded.
"I need a verbal confirmation, Shikha."
"Yes, Nita, I would like you to be my psycho-therapist. Please consider that 20 rupees as my first down-payment."
I exhaled and sat back. Honestly, I felt relieved. Whatever had happened, I had been unable to talk to anyone about it. That made things worse. Now I had a super-qualified and trusted psychiatrist that I could talk to. With the promise of confidentiality. As someone from the field myself, I should have done this on day one.
I was glad she pushed me into it. I opened my mouth and started to talk.
"Soon after I heard from Stanford, I went out to celebrate with some friends. Got a little drunk. I was trying to get inside my home when....."
And I told her the whole story.
----------
It was not easy, but I told her everything, in excruciatingly painful detail. I cried many times, she hugged and comforted me. I got a first hand look at how good of a therapist she was, because she said only the bare minimum things she needed to say and prodded me on. And kept reminding me, none of this was my fault.
Finally, I got to the most difficult part of my confession. How I hacked into Mrs. Khanna's email and got the address for Parvati in Jaipur and gave it to Lallan. her face hardened the most during this, but she just nodded through it. I then told her about my troubles coping with it all, my recent day drinking, and everything.
When I finished, we were both silent for while, me sobbing, and her hugging me.
"First of all, Shikha, I am so so very sorry you have had to go through this." she moved to her chair and started talking. "In our line of work, we do have to put up with such risks. I have had a few unsavory encounters with patients and spouses over the years. But nothing that comes even close."
I wiped my tears and nodded.
"This puts me in a difficult situation." she said. "You have admitted to betraying our confidence and telling the guy the address. That would be a fire-able offense. Maybe you knew that, which is why you resigned with immediate effect."
"I am so sorry." I said.
"I understand." she nodded sympathetically. "At the same time, Shikha, given the job you have been doing all these years, surely you know...."
"Yes, yes, I know!" I said a little too loudly. "I should go to the police, have him locked up. I know the theory and I know the logic. But he has all these pictures and videos."
"Shikha, we can work with the cops to do our best to confiscate it all. Even if he somehow manages to forward or post it, we have ways to take it down."
"I don't think so." I said in a flat voice. "I have seen enough instances of leaked revenge porn videos and MMS sex tapes. They never go away. Once it is out there, it is out there."
"Okay, okay, I see what you mean. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I can see your compulsions. I don't agree with your decision, but I see where you're coming from." she said. "Let me ask you this, though. What is your hopeful plan going forward? That he will just leave you alone and forget it?"
I looked at her and nodded, and then said,
"I know it's not ideal. But my hope is, now that he has his wife and daughters back, he will leave me alone. It's a slim hope, but the only hope I have. And then in a few months, I will be in the US, in Stanford, and we will be getting green cards and...."
"And it won't matter anymore." she nodded. "You are counting on the innate decency of a proven psychopath rapist?"
"Do I have a choice?"
She sighed.
"Shikha, remember what we tell them?"
"You always have a choice." we said in chorus.
"I know. And I get the underlying point. In my case though...."
"Yes, in your case, it is difficult. You feel that way, sitting where you sit. But you are a qualified counselor who has worked with dozens of battered women. Now that you are one yourself..."
"No!" I spoke up.
"No?"
"Please, Nita! I am not a "battered woman" like those women. They stay in marriages, in relationships with those guys. I hate him! I loathe him!"
She just gave me a sad smile and said,
"You just told me you get drunk and masturbate re-living the..."
"That's different!" I almost yelled. I couldn't believe she was using that honest admission against me.
"How is it different?" she tenderly asked.
I sat back and sighed.
"I don't know. It just is."
Nita nodded, then made a few notes. Finally she spoke.
"Shikha, there is a lot more I would like to say. There is a lot to unpack here. But we might have shared information that is already a lot for one session. If we continue, you might get defensive and even emotionally exhausted."
I nodded. I knew the theory.
"Let's meet once a week from now on. As psychiatrist and patient. Do we have a deal?"
I nodded.
Nita got up and went to one of her cabinets on the side.
"Before you go....here is something for you." she said and walked toward me.
It was a small gun. I gasped. She continued,
"I know, you hope he will stay away. But I fear he will be back. I wish I could call the cops and have him locked up for raping you. But I promised you confidentiality. So I can't do that anymore. Unless you change your mind. In the meantime, keep this. It might help."
I took the gun and held it in my hand.
"Do you know how to...." she started saying.
"Yes, my dad was in the army. I have fired many guns." I said.
I thanked her. We said our goodbyes. She made a final entreaty to just come clean to everyone, tell the cops, and have him locked up. I told her I couldn't do that. We made an appointment for the following week. And then I left.
I went home and reached straight for the half opened bottle. But I didn't drink. Talking to Nita made me feel a lot better. I wished I had done it earlier. I put the bottle down, and went to the living room. I turned the TV on and binge watched some comedies on Netflix.
Sober. --
The next couple of days, I felt a little bit better. I was still under a cloud of gloom, but I didn't feel compelled to spend every waking moment drunk. Neither did it mean I was completely fine. I still drank myself to sleep every night. I could spend the bright daylight hours sober, but the darkness of the night brought out the darkness in my mind, and I needed the booze to help me fall asleep.
The panic and fear receded somewhat though. The small gun that Nita had given me gave me a sense of protection, almost like a safety blanket. I kept it next to the door in case Lallan came knocking some time. And I always kept it in my purse when I went out in case he ambushed me.
I still kept hoping he would stay away. But somewhere, deep down, I knew he wouldn't.
And he didn't.
I was home one evening, sober, dressed in a simple skirt and blouse, reading some psychology papers when the doorbell rang. I went to the door and looked through the peephole. And I felt a chill of terror. It was him!
"Memsaab!" I saw his face come close to the outside of the peephole. "I can see your shadow. Please open the door!"
I was terrified. I reached for the gun on the table next to the door. And then said loudly as I looked at him through the peephole,
"Go away, Lallan! You got your wife back. Leave me alone!"
I saw him smile and nod.
"Yes, yes, I did. Thank you for that." he said loudly. "I am not here to do anything to you, I promise. I am not drunk. I am sober. I just want to talk to you and apologize."
"Apology accepted. Go away!" I shouted back.
I saw him sigh and smile. He then took out his phone, played with it, and then held it against the peephole. I could see a video of us fucking in the living room couch, me riding his cock naked without any indication that I was being coerced.
"I don't want to, but I could forward this to a hundred guys right now." he said.
I gulped and stared at how I looked, riding him and moaning.
"And pretty soon, your neighbors will notice the din and come asking." he said.
"Fine!" I yelled.
I took a deep breath, held the gun in my hand, with the safety off, and opened the door. He casually pushed it and walked in.
"Wow, what? Hahaha!" he saw my gun and laughed, not looking intimidated at all.
"Lallan!" I said in a determined voice. "I don't know what you have in mind, but I will ask you to behave."
He put his hands up and smiled. As I saw his short wiry frame, shorter than me, standing a few feet away, I still wondered how he had been able to force me the way he did.
"Okay."
"What do you want?"
"I just want to talk. I promise. I really promise." he said, still smiling. "The gun isn't necessary."
"Well, it makes me feel safe." I said as he closed the door.
His face got serious.
"Memsaab, as I promised, I have not forwarded the pics or videos to the whole world." he said. "But I know you are a rich and connected woman. So I have sent them, as insurance, to a couple of friends."
I kept the gun pointed at him as I processed what he was saying, and frowned. He continued talking.
"If anything happens to me, those friends of mine will send the videos to everyone, including news channels, with the title, Social Worker Fucks Slum Woman's Husband."
I still kept the gun on him and stared at him.
"Come on, relax. Can't you tell I am sober and not angry like last time? You held up your end of the bargain. You gave me Parvati's address. I won her back. We are happy again. Really genuinely happy. I can show you videos if you allow me."
I didn't say anything as he cautiously moved his phone, pulled up a couple of videos and held them in my face. It showed Lalllan and Parvati, hugging each other and looking very happy. Then another video of a small birthday celebration for one of the girls. Another video of all of them eating food at a small restaurant. The videos did paint the picture of a happy family.
"Please, just put the gun away and we can talk, like two adults. Believe it or not, I came to apologize." he said, taking a couple of steps towards me.
"I told you, I accept your apology. Now just...." I started saying, when he suddenly lunged at me and grabbed the gun.
He wrested it away from my hands easily and pushed me away. And now I saw the gun pointed at me.
"Hahaha, memsaab, do you think this is the first time I had a gun pointed at me?"
Shit shit shit, I berated myself silently. Dad always taught us, never let the target get within arms length. I had messed up on that, distracted by his babbling. Now I feared the worst as he had a gun pointed at me.
"Please memsaab, just listen to me." he said. "Sit on that couch over there."
Sad and defeated, I walked to the couch, and sat down. I expected Lallan to plonk himself next to me. But instead he sat on the floor, still holding the gun.
"Good. Please sit. Relax. Listen to me." he said.
I just glared at him angrily.
"Don't....come on....don't look at me like that!" he said, sounding hurt. "You make me feel like a bad person. I am not a bad guy, really. And certainly don't need any guns. Here, I will show you."
I watched as he deftly unclipped the bullet magazine and took it out. Then pulled the barrel back to dislodge the bullet in the chamber, and caught it in his palm, with a fluid rhythm that showed me he knew how to handle guns. He then put the gun, the magazine, and the bullet on the table behind him. And then turned around to face me. I was sitting on the couch, looking down at him.
"What do you want, Lallan?" I said, breathless and angry.
"I told you. I came to apologize. Make amends. Explain myself." he said, sounding sincere.
"Okay."
"Listen, memsaab. Please let me say my piece, and then you can tell me if I am wrong. Okay?"
"Okay."
"That night when I came here, I was drunk and I was angry. My family had been ripped apart from me. I knew you were just doing your job, helping Parvati, pointing her in the right direction. I know the way she describes me and everything, you think I am a monster. I am not a saint, but I am not monster. I love my wife, I love my daughters, and you took them away from me. So I got drunk. And furious. And I.....over-reacted."
"Over-reacted?" I said incredulously. This man was describing a rape and battering as just an over-reaction?
"I know, I know. It was....it was too much." he said, sounding sad. "You're a brain doctor, Parvati says. So maybe you understand. There is this strange.....darkness inside me. Angry overpowering darkness. It has always been there. Since I was a kid. It just....I just....I can't control it, memsaab. Seriously. I want to. The good side of me wants to. Mostly I am a good guy. I love my wife, I love my daughters. And I respect your wisdom and your intentions. You were right in your advice to Parvati. You and she made me see the error of my ways. I decided to change. I want to change."
"Then change!" I angrily said.
"I plan to change, memsaab. And I am already changing. You want to come home right now and talk to Parvati? You can! She will tell you I have changed. No more fights, no more beatings, no more.....well...honestly.....very little drinking." he smiled.
"Okay." I said, still a little thrown by how calm and reasonable he was being.
He looked at me smiled sadly, and then stared at the floor.
"I truly genuinely want to say sorry to you for that night. I was drunk. I was angry. I was emotional. I was under the influence of that darkness I said."
"Okay." In terms of psychology, I really tried to empathize with his confession, but I couldn't.
"You think I wanted to do all that? I mean, do you think the real normal Lallan, the happy loving guy wanted to do that? I didn't. I had to do that!"
This was too much. I angrily yelled,
"You had to rape me and beat me up????"
He seemed a little taken aback by my intensity for some reason. He stared at me for a second and then said,
"I know I have wronged you. Which is why I am here to apologize. I was just doing what I thought was necessary at that time to get my family back and keep my family together."
"Okay." I could see some logic in that, as twisted as it was.
Most of all, I was happy he was being quiet, rational, friendly, and non-violent. When he grabbed my gun, I feared the worst. Instead, he dismantled and put it away and was giving me a mea culpa. For the first time since that encounter started, I started feeling a little relieved.
"I am so sorry for all that I did. I want to tell you that. It's just this darkness inside me. Maybe you can treat me for it. It takes over. I can't control it."
"Yes, I know how hard that can be." My psychologist side took over. He was describing classic bipolar disorder syndrome.
"I am so sorry about it. It wasn't my intention to.....hurt you. I get no pleasure from it. My priority was my family, which means to me more than anything else."
"I understand." I nodded.
"So you see, it is all about keeping my family together and happy."
"Yes, I get it."
"So you forgive me?"
That was a tough question. Given whatever he had done, could I truly forgive him? But he was in my house, sitting by my feet, showing genuine contrition.
"Yes, fine, yes, I do. Happy?" I finally said.
"Thank you so much, memsaab." he said, actual tears in his eyes that he wiped away.
Lallan sat on the floor looking very sincere. I was feeling relieved that without the influence of alcohol, and with his family back together, he had come to his senses. I had not expected such an amicable end to our next encounter. But here we had it. Hopefully, we could move on, he could delete all the pics and videos on his phone and his friends' phones, and that would be the end of that.
Just as I was about to get up and show him out, he spoke again.
"There is.....one more thing I need your help with."
"What is that?"
"You know....the last time....I was drunk and in rage, but..." and he put a hand on my knee over my skirt, "it was still an amazing night."
"Lallan, please." I went red and gently moved his hand off my knee. "Let's not talk about that night again."
"But seriously...." he put his hand back, and this time gripped my knee firmly. "It was the best sex I have ever had. And I have banged a lot of women."
"Lallan...." I said, my voice rising a little. "Why are you..."
"Memsaab." he said, getting up on his knees like an eager lover, "You cannot expect me to believe you didn't enjoy it either. I was there, remember?"
"I did not enjoy it!" I said emphatically. Maybe a little too emphatically. He smiled. I tried again to move his hand away, but he did not let go.
"Your lips say one thing but I remember your body saying something else."
"Nonsense."
"The way you howled through those orgasms. The way you rode me. The way your crawled to the roof, horny. The way you locked your legs around my waist. The way your cunt..."
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I yelled, tears flooding my eyes.
"The way your cunt muscles gripped my cock every time we fucked. Parvati never does that. None of my other bitches do that. It was special, memsaab!"
He put his second hand on my other knee and pushed my legs apart. I sat there in panic, dreading the bizarre turn this conversation was taking. Just when I thought he was apologetic and ready to move on. Classic bipolar behavior, a small part of my brain piped up.
"Your brain and your mouth and maybe even your heart say no. But that warm tight moist thing there." he motioned his eyes towards my crotch. "It was hungry. It was deprived. And it welcomed the satisfaction I provided. Be honest."
I started to get up and fight him off but he effortlessly pushed me back and my ass thumped back on the couch.
"Don't deny it, memsaab. I am sure your husband is a nice man. But obviously he doesn't satisfy your needs. Just like my wife is a great woman but she cannot satisfy my needs the way you did."
"YOU RAPED ME, YOU ANIMAL!" I shouted in anger.
His response was to pout a little and nod.
"The first time that night, sure, I did rape you. I admit it. It was the anger and the darkness and the alcohol. You still came twice then, but yes, I did rape you." he said solemnly as if admitting to a minor infraction. "But the second time? The third, fourth, fifth, sixth times that night? That was just pure sex. After the first time, you had plenty of opportunities to run away. Or lock yourself in another room. Or even call the cops. But you didn't."
"Shut up!" I said. I did not want to admit that there was at least some truth to what he was saying.
"You were so....obedient. Be obedient again." he pushed my legs even farther apart, making my skirt slip a little.
"No!" I angrily replied.
"You are a head doctor. Diagnose yourself. Don't you think you liked what I do? And you want it again?"
"No!" I said shaking my head as my eyes teared up. "NO! NO!"
He was quiet for a few seconds and then said,
"Are you arguing with me or yourself?"
"Please leave, Lallan! Go back to your wife and leave me alone! I beg you!" I folded my hands.
"Because if I don't leave, you won't be able to resist my advances?"
He then swiftly lunged forward, so his face was inches away from mine. He tried to kiss me. I turned my face away. He grabbed my face with his right hand and pulled me into a kiss. Tobacco stench filled my nostrils. I didn't return his kiss. He broke the kiss after a minute or so, gently biting my lips before that. And then he leaned back.
I looked at the skinny intense man, staring at me from a couple of feet away, with an oddly earnest expression on his face. He was managing to sound reasonable even as he did some really nasty things to me. A far cry from the angry drunken lout of that other night.
"Do you know why I used to cheat on Parvati? Because she didn't satisfy me. So I slept around with a lot of women. Do you know why I slapped her around? The darkness inside me wanted that. But after you.....I don't need to. You might not believe it, but since that night, I have been like a saint with Parvati. Because you gave me an outlet for my darkness. That's how I want you to help me. Keep doing it, please. For my marriage. And for your own pleasure."
"Please go away, Lallan! Don't make me do this!" I was almost crying by now.
"Please be my mistress, memsaab. I am not asking for much. Maybe once a month?"
I tried to push him away, but he grabbed my hands. And then his eyes flashed with anger.
"SHIKHA!" he yelled, that old menacing tone suddenly returning to his voice. And then he continued in a low seething voice. "Must I always hurt you before you see sense? You couldn't fight me when I was drunk. Now I am stone cold sober. Do you want to get slapped around again? Is that why you're resisting me?"
I started crying. He snickered and licked my tears from my cheeks.
"Give in, memsaab. For your own sake." he whispered as he kissed my lips.
"Lallan!" I said in protest.
"I am a good man deep down, I promise.I just have this darkness that needs a release. In the past, sometimes I took it out on Parvati. She is frail and simple and doesn't enjoy it. She tries to understand and accommodate, but it gets too much for her."
I remembered the times Parvati told me, it wasn't straightforward. That time I saw her bruised and she said it wasn't him beating her per se, but just something sexual.
"You though....you, memsaab, are a tall well-built energetic woman. And you like this. And your husband is abroad. You need me. I need you. This solves everything. Please, try to understand. Don't make the darkness take over."
His hands let go of mine and moved to my thighs. He started rolling my skirt up. I put my hands on my face and continued crying.
After that, things seemed to happen both in rapid motion and slow motion. My mind was crying out in protest for the next few minutes. His fingers first entered my panties. He played with my clit. Then he started pushing his fingers into my pussy. His other hand started unbuttoning my top. My tits were pulled out of my bra. His rained kisses and bites on my nipples and my stomach as his fingers started lubricating my cunt.
There was a sense of inevitability to the proceedings. I didn't want to admit it, but he was right. The primal animal in me did want him. My nerve endings and synapses cried out for him.
Before I knew it, he was inside me. His mouth was on mine. We were kissing passionately. His hands mauled my boobs. I don't remember when he took off my top and bra. I don't remember when my panties ended up on the floor. All I know is, I was lying on the couch, with only my rolled up skirt as clothing, as he fucked me with deep and firm strokes. And my body was liking it.
Soon my ankles were locked around his waist. And I was exerting my thigh muscles pulling him in as deep as I could. To fill a void in me that I could no longer deny existed.
When he withdrew his dick after 10 minutes and sat down on the couch next to me, I automatically sat up. Straddled him. Returned his cock where it belonged - inside me. And was riding him. Ten minutes later, in a replay of a moment I had seen on video from the previous night, he put his arms under my knees and started getting up. I wrapped my arms around his neck tight. And then my nearly naked body dangled from this torso as he fucked me hard. Even though he was shorter and skinnier than me, he held me up suspended. The room was filled with sounds of our skins mating. My naked ass traced an arc in the air swaying back and forth. My first orgasm of the night washed over me as I hollered and bit his shoulder. He chuckled with self-satisfaction.
Ten minutes later, he put me down on the floor. I got on my hands and knees. Our bodies were in perfect harmony. I arched my back and thrust my ass out like an animal in heat. He got on his knees behind me and continued where he had left off, pounding me hard.
Then, maybe as a throwback to his rough approach last time, he placed his right foot on my head and pushed it to the floor. He hammered me like that for ten minutes bringing me to another orgasm before withdrawing. I looked back at him. He nodded and sat on the couch.
I crawled towards him. Sat on the floor with my ass on my heels. Opened my mouth. And hungrily gulped down the jizz he deposited. I swallowed it all, and went to the bathroom to pee and clean myself up.
When I came back to the living room, he demanded food. I stood in the kitchen, naked except for an apron as I cooked eggs. He sat on a chair by the dining table, naked, his dick resting in preparation for the next assault. He had helped himself to a big drink of Jack Daniels from the bar cabinet.
"I thought you gave up alcohol?" I said as I cooked.
"Not...not fully given up. Just controlling. So it doesn't....hurt......." his voice trailed off as he looked confused.
"Parvati?" I helpfully added.
"Yes, of course, Parvati."
Half an hour later. We had both finished the food. The 1 liter whiskey bottle was empty. He had finished three fourths of it. And forced me to chug the remaining quarter, neat, as I sat naked in his lap, except for the apron.
We hadn't spoken a word this whole time. I was staring at my plate, trying to come to terms with the ramifications of what was happening. The bizarre depraved agreement I had implicitly made. Why had I agreed to it? Did I even have a choice? Why did my cunt feel so warm and happy?
There was a metallic clang as I pondered these questions sitting on his lap. He had pushed his plate away and it had fallen on the ground. I looked at his face. There was rage and depravity in his eyes. Drunk Lallan re-surfaced. Eyes red. And irrational anger on his face.
He got up, staggering a little as he pushed me to the floor.
"You filthy slut!"
I was on all fours, my naked butt sticking in the air, and the apron hanging loose from my torso. I tried to stand up but he put his foot on my shoulder and pushed me down.
"You are my kutiyaa (bitch), I am your maalik. (master)" he laughed and spanked me hard.
I winced as he pulled me to my feet by my hair. He spat on my face. I struggled to stay on my feet as he dragged me to the bedroom pulling my hair.
What followed next was expected, now that he had alcohol in his system again.
"WHORE!" he yelled and slapped me. Tears sprang to my eyes. "Stand there!"
I stood in the corner. He untied my apron, rolled it up, and tried to shove it down my throat before throwing it to the ground.
"Raise your hands!"
I complied, standing there naked and sobbing, but also weirdly aroused. He went to the closet and got one of my husband's belts. He fastened it around my neck like a dog's leash. First came the slaps on my boobs until they were red. Then really hard bites on my nipple. Then three fingers were thrust up my cunt.
"Just as I thought. Wetter than a filthy kutiyaa's cunt!" he spat at me again. "You like this, don't you?"
"Yes..." I whispered honestly.
Another slap.
"Speak up, bitch!"
"Yes!"
"Yes what?"
"Yes...........maalik." Master.
With three fingers still roughly shoved up my cunt, he grabbed my hair, pulled it, and brought his face close to mine.
"And who are you?"
"I am your filthy kutiyaa, maalik." Bitch.
"That's right!"
I was then ordered to turn around, bend over and put my hands on the wall. Then came the angry spanks on my ass. I counted. 64 on each cheek.
Then I was laid on the bed on my side, my legs folded up. Half a bottle of moisturizer was emptied on my ass. The anal assault began. I hated myself when I had three orgasms in the next fifteen minutes as he sodomized me while playing with my clit. Then it was my cunt's turn as I was made to ride him. And then fucked in the ass again doggy style until he deposited his seed inside it.
When I came back from the bathroom after a long time cleaning myself, he had opened a bottle of vodka. He pulled me on to his lap and shoved the bottle in my hand. We finished it in ten minutes.
The rest of the night was a blur again as my blood alcohol level crossed my tolerance. A dream and a nightmare. We fucked at least 3 more times that I can recall. I was slapped and spanked and spat on. The belt around my neck was tightened a few times almost to the point of choking me unconscious. And the orgasms I had probably numbered in the dozens. The more roughly he treated me, the harder I came. I hated it, but that's how it was.
I woke up to the sound of chirping birds. I opened my eyes. The sunlight stung. It took me a few moments again to realize where I was. Curled up naked on the roof of my own house, with an empty jute sack on top of me. There was a bowl of water next to me this time, like for an actual bitch. The other end of my belt leash was tied around a water pipe. I had no memory of how I ended up there. The last thing I remembered was being humped in front of the bathroom mirror at around 4 AM while he pulled on the belt.
I sat up. Untied the belt. The sun was high enough for it to be close to noon. Thankfully, Lallan had shown the mercy of putting me in a corner of the roof that couldn't be seen from the other houses around us. At least not directly. The tall buildings were a different matter. I stared at the balconies again and tried to make out if I could see any obvious viewers. I couldn't.
Once my eyes got used to the sunlight, I picked up the sack and held it in front of me to cover my nakedness. Peeked around the wall. Luckily the other roofs were still empty. I scampered through the door and started walking down the stairs. My ass hurt, my thighs hurt. My face hurt. My boobs hurt. But my cunt felt.....satisfied.
I walked downstairs gingerly in case he was still around. The house was empty.
There was a note on the kitchen table scrawled in Hindi.
I sat in Nita's office for another session, waiting for her to finish a team meeting. The regular sessions had helped at first, just by giving me an outlet to talk about what was happening. But lately, our chats with each other had gotten contentious. Nita seemed to be losing patience, maybe because she personally cared about me, and was disappointed that I wasn't following her advice.
I sat staring at the posters on the wall, which were the same as the ones that used to be in my office. Posters about self-respect, dignity, not taking abuse, relying on the machinery in place to help, pitfalls of enabling abusive behavior, etc. I once used them extensively when counseling women. Now I still could not get used to being on the other side of the table. Finally she walked in and saw me. Sighing, she closed the door behind her and took her seat, giving me a questioning look. I couldn't look her in the eye.
"You were with him again?"
I nodded. She took a pad and started making notes.
"It was supposed to be just once a month. Then it became once a week. And now multiple times a week?" she asked.
"Well, he says he is allowing me to go to the US and after that we won't meet for months at end, so he wants to make this time count."
"Allowing you to go? Oh lord, do you hear yourself talk? You now think you are beholden to him about how to live your life?" she sarcastically said.
"No. Of course not." I protested. "He does have it in his power to disrupt my life. Even more. He isn't doing that. He has been understanding about the situation. In general he has become more understanding."
"Understanding!" she scoffed. "I can see that at least there are no bruises on your face this time. So I assume he was gentle."
"He is never gentle." I said wanly. "He just left my face alone this time, that's all."
"So what did he do?"
"I'd rather not go into the details."
"Come on Shikha...you know how this works. You have to be honest and talk out loud about it or you won't be able to come to terms with it. Don't bottle it up." she said impatiently.
"Maybe in a little while? Please?" I said.
She tapped her pen on the pad for a few seconds staring at me.
"Shikha, look at me."
I did. The expression on her face was one of sadness and anger.
"Let's go to the police."
"This again!" I got angry. "You know very well why I cannot go to the police!"
"The pictures and videos?"
"Yes!!"
"How long are you going to keep fooling yourself with that excuse? This is textbook denial and hedging. There are ways to limit the damage from that. Besides, all the policemen know you and respect you. They will work extra hard..."
"I have heard all this before." I snapped at her. "You don't get it. It's not that straightforward, Nita, it is..."
And I suddenly stopped mid-sentence. I had used the exact same words Parvati had used the first time we met and I was convincing her to go to the police. I bit my lips to fight back tears.
"Every woman in an abusive relationship thinks her case is special, and there is some reason or the other to keep taking the abuse."
"What do you mean relationship?" I angrily said. "It is not a damn relationship, Nita! The man raped me and is now blackmailing me!"
"Shikha, stop being so blind. Of course it's a relationship, whether you like the idea or not."
"Nonsense!"
"How long has it been since that first night?"
"Four months."
"And since then, how many times have you and he spent time together like that?"
I stopped and counted.
"Ten times."
"And each time, approximately how many times do the two of you have sex?"
"Four or five times."
"How long has it been since Anup came back to help with wrapping up things for the move to California?"
"Two weeks."
"And how often have you and your husband had sex in the two weeks?"
I stayed silent and glared at her. She knew it was an unfair question. It's not like I did not want to do it. I just could not willy-nilly have sex with Anup with all the tell-tale bruises on my body. It had to only be at night, in the darkness. Fortunately, Anup had always favored turning the lights off before sex at night. Besides, he was busy with work in addition to all the moving chores, so most nights, he had come home late and tired.
"Face it, Shikha. You and Lallan have an abusive relationship. By not going to the police, and by not telling your husband or anyone else except me, you are tacitly agreeing to be his mistress. It might have started off as just a forcible encounter and blackmailing. But now that Anup is in Delhi, you and Lallan are still spending time together behind his back. That is infidelity. That is a relationship."
I knew on some level that she was right. But I was not yet ready to accept it.
"This time he did not drink because of his daughter's birthday party. He gets the most violent and cruel when he is drunk. So this time, although there was a lot of the usual...you know, spanking, biting, and so on, it wasn't like brutally bad."
"Do you hear yourself? Again, textbook battered woman in denial. You are seeking relief in small mercies."
I sighed and shook my head. Everything she was saying is what I would have said if I were in her position. And yet, I could not accept it.
"I was going to ask you about the party. I heard from Salma that you were there."
Salma was the new case worker hired in my place and assigned to the Parvati case. Since Parvati had recanted her complaints and got back with her husband, her job was to keep tabs on their family life, make sure things were indeed normal like Parvati claimed. So she had been invited to the birthday party in their slum. She and I exchanged a few pleasantries, but mostly, we stayed away from each other. I could sense there was curiosity and suspicion in her gaze.
"Did she...does she...I mean..."
"Does she suspect there is something going on between you and that family going beyond just being a friendly ex-case-worker?"
"Yeah."
"She didn't explicitly say it to me." Nita said. "But she was a little surprised that you were there at the party. How did you end up there, by the way?"
"Lallan insisted." I shrugged. "He said he wanted me to see first hand the results of my "help" in dealing with his darkness. And how it had improved his family life."
"Wasn't Parvati surprised to see you there?"
"She was. Also, she was happy to see me. That led to an...odd encounter too."
"Tell me about it". Nita sat back as I narrated
-----
The party was being held in an open area in the corner of the slums. There were a bunch of kids, some neighbors and family friends and also relatives of the couple. There was a table with simple snacks like potato chips, samosas, chocolates, tea, soft drinks. A few balloons, as much as the family could afford. And a few simple gifts the other kids had brought.
The men and women were sitting and socializing separately. I had a short awkward conversation with Salma, who was clearly feeling as out of place as I was. After that, she put her bluetooth on and moved to a side, talking with someone.
I had no idea who else to talk to. The other women were nice and respectful, like slum women would be to a memsaab, asking frequently if I wanted more food or drinks. Lallan was circulating among the men, some of whom kept stealing glances at me. A couple of them would snicker or wink when they looked at me. I assumed these were his close friends who knew who I was to Lallan. I suddenly realized they might even have the pictures and videos on their phones, and it made me blush.
"Thank you for coming, Shikha memsaab." Parvati appeared by my side.
"It's a pleasure to be here, Parvati. So...things are going well with Lallan?"
"Yes. Going...going well." she said half-heartedly. I instinctively raised my eyebrows and she looked away pursing her lips.
"That's good to hear." I said, not wanting to really pull at that thread. But Parvati wanted to, apparently.
"Memsaab...I never got to apologize to you. So let me say, I am very sorry. You went through all that trouble to help me out, get us put up in Jaipur, get that job, and so on. But when Lallan showed up..." she stopped. "After I called him of course. It just seemed...you know...family is family after all. These are his daughters. And he is really good with them like I said. And he is working full time. He raised extra money to throw this party that we could never have afforded until he started working. I am sorry if I disappointed you."
"No need to apologize, Parvati. It's your life. As long as you are happy and your daughters are happy, that's all that matters." saying to myself in my mind, you have no idea of the price I am paying for your happiness.
"Can I...talk to you...here by the side?" she said in a low voice.
I was reluctant to talk more than we needed to, but I went with her.
"Memsaab...can't you be my case worker again? Salma memsaab is nice, but somehow...I felt more comfortable with you."
"I don't work there anymore, Parvati. I quit. I am going to America."
"I know. I know. But maybe just temporarily."
"Sorry, that't not how it works."
"It's just that...well...things are much better with Lallan. No more beatings or drunken fights. But still...something is off."
"What do you mean?"
"I think...I think he is cheating on me with someone." she said and looked right into my eyes.
For a second, I was taken aback and terrified that she was accusing me. That she knew. She had found out.
"Oh..with...with whom?" I asked.
"I don't know. I mean...he has never been faithful anyway. He went to whores even before. And now, with his job taking him on long trips, I can understand if he does. I don't care about whores. All these men do that." she said pointed towards the men, where Lallan was standing watching us talk.
"Then?"
"Something seems different. Like...he is with someone in particular. Someone who is giving him things that...he used to get from me." she said bitterly.
"Well, you should talk to Salma about it."
"It's not the same rapport as with you." she pleaded. "I can't be as open. For example...I feel embarrassed saying this...there were certain things he did to me..in bed...that I initially didn't like, but then, got used to."
"Oh." With a pit in my stomach, I said.
"You won't understand. It's like some rough stuff. Not that I want him to be extra violent or abusive. But within limits...oh god I feel so embarrassed." she blushed.
I didn't say anything. What could I say, even though I knew exactly what she was saying.
"Nowadays he is nice and gentle. But...too gentle. And just his general behavior. The way he just disappears for hours sometimes even when he is in the city. It all just seems...suspicious."
That's when Lallan came walking towards us, so Parvati stopped talking and smiled.
"Memsaab, thank you for coming." he said in an exceedingly polite way that seemed very out of place from our normal interactions.
"Happy to be here." I said.
"You told me to remind you when it was 7 o' clock? You said you had some other function to attend?" he said.
"Oh right. Yes. Thank you." I caught the hint. "I should get going."
"I will drop you to a taxi." he said.
"Thanks for having me, Parvati." I said. And then walked away with Lallan, as Salma waved goodbye while still on the phone.
------
I took a deep breath and sat back as Nita looked at me with raised eyebrows.
"So...how does that interaction with Parvati make you feel? Now that you have found out that your supposed self-sacrifice is also encroaching on their sex life?"
"Horrible, but what can I do about it?"
"A lot! Again, you were the one telling options in situations like these. Now you are basically the mistress of one of your case's husbands!"
"I am not his mistress!" I yelled. "I am his victim!"
"I don't need to tell you what a thin line separates those two!" Nita yelled back. "Accept it. You are his mistress. He is your lover."
"No."
"You are married to your husband. He is married to his wife. Like she has guessed, this is not some random whoring around that she could condone. She senses intuitively, there is another woman. Imagine how devastated she will be when she finds out YOU are that other woman."
"She won't find out."
"Still, you just stood there and listened quietly while she told you her husband is cheating on her, while you are the one enabling that cheating."
"I am not enabling it. I am helping contain it."
"And what about Anup? Are you being fair to him? You clearly have some sort of an abusive co-dependent and sexual connection with that Lallan fellow. How can you continue the charade of having a happy married life? At least leave Anup and spare him the humiliation and disrespect."
"I love Anup!" I got up and yelled. "He is my life! He is the love of my life! I am not disrespecting him. I am making the best of a bad situation. A situation that will get easier in a couple of months."
"Sit down." Nita sternly said.
"No! Your job is to help me cope with what is happening. You are making me feel even more worthless and guilty than I already do every minute of the day."
"Why do you feel worthless and guilty if you aren't doing anything wrong?"
"I didn't say I am not doing anything wrong. I am. But I don't have a choice."
Nita sat back and sighed.
"Let's get back to this later. For now, sit down and tell me what happened next. He took you away from the party, supposedly to drop you to a taxi?"
I breathed heavily for a while glaring at her, tempted to walk out. But then I sat down.
"He led me through the narrow bylanes of the slums, as you said, supposedly to drop me to a taxi. There were people milling around, so he didn't say anything to me. But then he took a couple of turns that were going away from the main road, and I realized, with a sinking feeling, that the night wasn't over. We finally reached a relatively empty part of the slums and then he suddenly stopped in front of a hunt and pushed me inside."
"Did you resist him in any way or at least show your reluctance?"
"No. What would have been the point?" I shrugged. "The hut was empty and musty and covered in cobwebs. He closed the door and said, this will have to be quick. As he unzipped his pants and pushed me to my knees, I asked him, didn't he want to know what Parvati and I were talking about. He shrugged and said, he didn't care, and that I should suck his dick instead of talking. Holding his dick in my hand, I looked up at him and said, she suspects you of having an affair. And she misses the rough stuff. He looked a little surprised and then started laughing. Said it was hilarious that his wife was sharing her suspicions with me of all people, who was a worthless slut aching for being slapped around and buggered."
"A boorish way to put it, but an accurate one." Nita interjected. I ignored her and continued.
"He then slapped me, not very hard, and said, you like this don't you? I glared at him. He asked me to stop talking nonsense, take my clothes off, and start sucking his dick, because he needed to get back to the party. As I stripped, he got on his knees. Which meant that once I got naked, I had to be on all fours in front of him and suck his dick. He took his belt and whipped my ass with it for a couple of minutes as I sucked him to a hard erection. He also reached under my torso and squeezed and pinched my boobs a few times. As he did that, he said a couple of times how he was being a lot more gentle, because my husband was around, and he didn't want to leave too many scars for him to see. So as I said earlier, he wasn't exactly gentle, but a lot less violent than other times."
"Which was a good thing, you think?" Nita asked.
"Of course." I said.
"Are you sure?"
"What are you implying?"
"I am just asking if you truly liked the fact that he was less violent than usual." Nita said. "As we have talked in the past few months, I get the feeling you somehow...like the violence. Maybe sexually. It's not unheard of. A lot of people derive pleasure from intense pain in sado-masochist sex. But i think it's beyond just the sex for you."
"What do you mean?"
"I think you also like getting beaten up because you sub-consciously think of it as a well-deserved punishment for what you are doing. Having an adulterous relationship that you have started to derive pleasure from. Maybe gotten addicted to. The hard blows, the bruises, the intense pain...it helps you alleviate your guilt and your self-loathing. Because even though Parvati and Anup don't know, at least somehow you are getting punished."
I looked at Nita quietly, unsure of how to respond. This analysis did seem to make sense. But for me to accept that I actually wanted that abuse was even more demeaning than wanting it.
"Anyway, continue. I am guessing he penetrated you soon, and there was more abuse involved."
"Yes. He mounted me, fucked me hard, spanking my ass, pulling my hair, putting his fingers in the sides of my mouth and pulling. The usual stuff really."
"And you did not cum this time, did you?"
I was surprised at the question. It was almost prescient.
"No, I didn't!" I said. "I thought it was because it was all so hurried and rushed. But now...I don't know..."
"Maybe this time you did not cum because he didn't beat you up or slap you around as he usually does?"
I put my face in my hands.
"Have you been having orgasms the few times that you have had sex with Anup since he returned?"
"Well...when he goes down on me and uses his tongue, yes. But during sex, no."
"Has he noticed the difference?"
"No, because...I never had vaginal orgasms with him anyway. Or anyone else but Lallan."
"And you said Lallan isn't particularly big down there?"
"No."
"Hmmm."
We were both quiet as the analytical parts of our brains computed all this together. It's not something that had never occurred to me. I had just pushed it away when I thought about it. But here it was, all laid bare in a psychologist's office.
"So...continue."
"There isn't much more. He humped me like that, from behind, with moderate abuse, for about ten minutes. Then he made me turn around again and fucked my mouth, and ejaculated inside."
"You swallowed, of course?"
"Yes. He insists on it." I said. "Well, then we got dressed. I took a taxi home and he went back to the party."
"Hmmm...I would love to talk more about this but I have a meeting with one of the trustees." Nita said. "But think about everything I have said, Shikha. It is time you start accepting certain truths about who you have become and what kind of a situation you are in."
-------
I got up to leave. Nita also got up and gave me a tender hug.
"I will think about what you have said. I don't agree with a lot of it, but I know you mean well and I value your expertise." I said.
"Yes. And maybe try broaching this subject with Lallan too. When are you meeting him next? In a few days I am sure."
"No...it will be a couple of weeks. He is going on a long haul trip to the South. He said that's one reason he wanted yet another go after the party. For the road." I said.
"Oh! Well that's good news!" Nita genuinely smiled. "Maybe those two weeks away will give you the time and distance you need to face facts. And make you come terms with your abusive relationship with him, now that he isn't banging his agenda into you every few days."
I nodded.
"And please, try to reconnect with Anup. You say you love him. I believe you. Spend as much time with him as you can. Make love often. Try to rekindle whatever it was you two had in the early days."
"Yes, Nita." And I left.
Nita was right, although somehow I could not admit it to her or even myself that day. But as I thought more and more about it, the clearer it became. Things between Lallan and me had indeed gone beyond just the blackmail and non-consent stage. I was now effectively in a full-fledged relationship with him. He was like my secret second husband and I was like his secret second wife. It was an abusive relationship, but one I was hooked to. Just like the dozens of women I had counseled over the years.
This point was really driven home to me, not in a couple of days but a couple of weeks that I got away from Lallan.
Almost two weeks later, I was standing in the driveway of the Hyatt in Ahmedabad, clutching my small travel bag and purse, and looking towards the road. I was nervous and my heart was pounding. A loud internal voice kept berating me for being there, but I kept trying to ignore it.
"You sure you don't want me to call you a taxi, madam?" the doorman wandered over and asked again.
"Yes I am sure. I am just waiting for someone like I said." I was dressed in a black formal skirt suit with a blue blouse underneath, looking very much like any business traveler at the Hyatt.
I had downed a couple of stiff whiskeys at the hotel bar before stepping out at the designated time. I was feeling just a mild buzz, but it had been necessary to calm my nerves. Even after all that I had done with Lallan over the last few months, tonight was risk-taking at a whole different level.
"Are you staying here, madam or just here for the conference?" he asked again. It was close to midnight, and there weren't too many people around, so I guess he was just making polite chit-chat.
"Conference." I said.
"Which one? The Medical one or the Banking one?" he asked.
"Medical." I said, wishing he would go away.
"So you are a doctor, huh?" he asked and I nodded. "I hope my daughter grows up to become a doctor. She is does very well at school."
"That's nice."
"In fact she says..." he started talking when there was a loud whistle from the road at the end of the driveway.
We both looked in that direction, and I saw Lallan standing there waving at me. He had the top two buttons of his shirt open and was sporting a thick beard. The doorman looked at him and then at me as I pulled the purse over my shoulder and started walking.
"That's my driver." I nonchalantly said, in case the doorman was wondering why a high class woman in a formal skirt suit was walking towards a visibly lower class man.
"Oh ok." he nodded, but he had a look of suspicion on his face. Lallan looked too scruffy to be a driver for someone like me.
I sprinted a little down the driveway and towards Lallan. I held out my bag towards him and he just stared at it.
"What am I, your coolie, you cunt?" he said in a low voice.
"The doorman is watching. I told him you're my driver." I whispered.
He looked at the doorman and then reluctantly took the bag. Then he turned around and started walking. I followed him.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"The truck is parked just down the road." he said. "I didn't know if they would let a truck pull into the front entrance of your precious five star hotel."
"Truck???" I asked, surprised.
"Yes, truck, you stupid bitch. Have you forgotten what I work as?" he growled.
"But on the phone you said..."
"I know what I said. Change of plans." he said, handed the bag back to me, and started walking faster.
With the heels, it took some effort to keep up. But I managed.
"So your thing is done...what did you say...conference? What is that?" he asked.
"It's just an event where people in the same line of work meet and discuss ideas."
"Hmmm...sounds like a rich people thing. Is that why you are dressed like an English memsaab?" he said, eyeing my clothes.
"Yes."
"I have riped a lot of clothes off your body, but never this. It will be a nice change." he said and started laughing.
Finally we turned around the corner and sure enough, there was a truck waiting there. It was one of those old trucks, with an orange chassis and rickety back carriage covered in tarp. I saw a middle aged man sitting behind the wheel, who nodded at Lallan, and then looked intently at me.
"Lallan!" I said in a worried voice ad he jumped up to the passenger side and opened the door.
"Climb in." he said, giving me his hand.
"But...I...you said we would be in a lodge..."
"Like I said, change of plans. I want you to meet my friends. Climb in." he said again.
"Lallan...I'm not sure I want to do this." I said with some urgency in my voice.
Lallan nodded and climbed down. My heart started beating a little faster. He had that stern look on his face.
"Memsaab." he said with fake syrupy sweetness. "Are you saying you are worried getting into a truck in the middle of the night in Ahmedabad?"
I didn't say anything, because I knew it wasn't a genuine question.
"Would you like to just go back to the hotel and spend the night there alone? Please, by all means, do that."
I looked down at my feet, knowing better than to argue or talk back.
"Of course, we made this detour to Ahmedabad for you. So if you chicken out now, I am going to have to take this nice expensive suit of yours as compensation. You can walk back to the hotel, naked, in the middle of the night."
I sighed, knowing as I always had, that resistance was futile. And his threat wasn't empty. I took my heels off, hung them against my purse, and climbed on the ramp holding his hand.
Lallan grabbed my ass over my skirt as he pushed me into the truck cabin. He muttered he'd missed that.
That dimly lit cabin was like a whole different world of its own. I realized that although I had seen millions of such trucks throughout my life, I had never peeked inside one of them, much less sit in one.
"This is Munaf Bhai. He owns and drives the truck, so he is my boss I guess." Lallan pushed me on a barely cushioned seat and said.
I just nodded at the middle aged chubby man staring at me intently. He nodded back. And then he said,
"You look nice with clothes on too."
Laughter filled the small cabin. I instantly went deep red and looked away. He had said it in such a flat matter-of-fact way, like he was complimenting my shoes or something. The comment implied that he was one of the guys Lallan had shared the pictures and maybe even the videos with. Lallan was laughing hard, slapping my knee in amusement instead of his own. Munaf was chuckling. And I heard laughter coming from behind me too.
So I looked back. There was a young burly man of about 20, sitting on a bench behind us, laughing it up. In the dim light, I could not make out his face very clearly.
"This is Tony. The other driver." Lallan said. Tony kept laughing and then he squirmed a little.
I heard a soft cough, but it wasn't from either of the three men.
"Oh...and that down there is Kanta."
I leaned over the back of the seat and was shocked to see a stocky young woman, buck naked, squatting on the floor and sucking Tony's dick. With the dick still in her mouth, she turned her wide-open eyes towards me. We stared into each others eyes for a few seconds, two women, strangers to each other, finding ourselves in this dingy truck cabin.
I looked away as the truck started moving. The men finally stopped laughing, although there was still the occasional chuckle. I felt Lallan's hands on my chest and he squeezed my boobs.
"We were just wondering who has bigger tits, you or Kanta. From the pictures, it seems like you. But Tony insists it's her." he said casually.
"Lallan." I whispered. "Kanta...is she...who is...I mean is she here..."
"What?" he asked, stroking my ass over my skirt with his other hand.
"Is she here of her own will?" I asked. The counselor psychologist in me was wondering if this woman had been forced or kidnapped or something. She did seem to be sucking the dick intently, but the look in her eyes wasn't exactly one of joy.
"As much as you are here of your own will." Lallan said and snickered.
I stared at him trying to figure out what exactly that meant. I knew how I had ended up here. What was her story? Suddenly, the lights were turned off and the cabin went dark. Only the street light filtered in.
"Lallan...there are usually cops on this road." Munaf said in a tense voice.
"Oh right!" Lallan said.
And I suddenly felt his hand on my head and my body was pushed away from him and low, until it was leaving against Munaf's side.
"You understand, memsaab." Lallan said. "If cops see a woman in a truck like this, obviously they are going to stop us and ask why. So you need to stay down. That's why we have Kanta in the back and down on the floor."
Munaf's shirt reeked of body odor. I tried to breathe through my mouth.
"Don't worry, we will be stopping soon, memsaab. Until then, remember, this is Munaf bhai's truck. He is our host. While you're down there, why don't you follow Kanta's lead and thank him for his hospitality and the very nice compliment he paid you."
I saw Munaf take one hand off the wheel and unzip his pants. An erect thick dick poked out. It was clear what was expected of me but I still looked back at Lallan with a pleading expression. He just smiled and then his hand started pulling my skirt up. Tony leaned forward as my upper thighs and panties were revealed.
"Oh man...look at that ass!"
Lallan raised his left hand high and landed a stinging hard spank on my butt over my panties. I squealed.
"Suck his dick, memsaab."
I winced and looked at the erect dick in front of me and slid a bit forward. There was no point in arguing or fighting back. This was the situation I found myself in. All alone, in a truck with three horny working class men and a naked woman. I was a long way away from home, from my husband, my social circle. And the night did not look like it was going to get any less humiliating.
Opening my mouth wide, I reminded myself, that this one was not entirely or even partly on Lallan. Me finding myself here in this situation, was all my fault. And I thought about all the impulsive stupid decisions and lies that had ended up with me sideways on a truck seat, about to give a blowjob to a stranger.
--
I had done my best to follow Nita's advice to take the two weeks without Lallan as an opportunity to think things through and also reconnect with Anup. It worked, as much as it could.
Anup is a loving, caring, and insightful man who knows me better than anyone else. From the moment he had landed and come home, he could sense something was off. He didn't know what exactly it was. But he could sense something was wrong. He had asked me, first subtly and then directly, what was going on. I had tried my best to wave off his concerns, saying it was nothing. or that I was just nervous about leaving my old life behind and starting a new one in a new country. or that I was intimidated about the quality of fellow students and professors at Stanford. He would nod, but I could see he was not entirely convinced.
Thankfully, his work kept him super busy. Returning for a short stint meant a lot of meetings and presentations with the offshore team in the office. So it wasn't like he was home all day. We went out for dinners, drinks, met our friends and family, and had sex with increasing regularity. Lallan had been mercifully less intense with his beatings and plus Anup usually liked turning the lights off during sex. So there were no visual clues for him about what I had been through.
The Lallan-less days ticked on, one by one. It almost seemed like a return to our old life. With one change. We were now having sex every night, often two or three times a night. It felt very comforting and reassuring, but there was still a lot of chaos and self-doubt in my mind.
One evening, I was at home, watching some brainless Hindi comedy movie, when Anup walked in.
"Hi honey, I'm home." he said.
"Oh hey!" I got up and smiled at my loving perfect husband. "Would you like me to join me for some whiskey-soda?"
He saw the glass in my hand, gave me half a smile and nodded. He took his shoes off, put his bag in the bedroom and joined me on the couch. I handed him his glass. He looked at the bottle that was on the table and close to half empty.
"Thanks." he said.
I leaned in and kissed him passionately. He kissed me back. We made out for a few seconds and then I sat back.
"How was your day at work?" I asked.
"Not bad. Not bad." he said casually. "Looks like you started early today."
He pointed towards the bottle.
"Oh just a couple of hours ago." I shrugged and smiled. "To get nice and liquored for my hunk."
We kissed again. I unbuttoned his shirt partly and rubbed his chest. He put his arm around me.
"That bottle was full when I left." he said.
I froze and then sat up. And stare at him.
"What are you saying, Anup?"
"Nothing." he got defensive. Then he frowned. "Okay...don't get upset Shikha...but you have been drinking a lot these past few weeks."
"Since when do you have a problem with your wife drinking? Are you like one of those men who..." I said, miffed.
"Oh come on!" he interrupted me. "You know I don't mean it like that."
"Then how do you mean it?"
"Honey, you know I like my drink and I like sharing drinks with you. We have explored so many different brands and liquors together over the years." he said.
"So what's your problem?" I said angrily. Even then, the rational analyst part of me was saying, you know he has a point, and you are being extra defensive.
"You're drunk almost every night when I get home, Shikha!" he said, raising his voice a little. "Not just one or two drinks. you are at least 4-5 drinks down. Every night. When we go out with friends, you down your drinks so fast, no one else can keep up. You're slurring every night. That's not you!"
"Well, I'm not the one who puked all over the Bedis' couch and then passed out in front of everyone!" I said, and immediately felt bad for bringing it up.
I could see he was annoyed.
"Shikha, that was five years ago. I got carried away. Drank too much. Puked, made a fool of myself. I am still ashamed of it. And since then, I have never come close to repeating anything like that." he said.
"I know. I'm sorry." I said.
"Sorry if I'm out of line, Shikha. But...this is unusual. Remember we used to talk about how all that huge collection can't be finished by the time we leave. I come back and find most of the bottles I collected are gone. And you have bought a bunch of new ones. It's like you have been downing an entire bottle a day. You're drunk every night."
"Not too drunk for you to fuck every night!" I said, again regretting it as soon as I said it.
He looked really hurt and confused at that statement. And just looked away. I could see his eyes get a little moist. I felt horrible. Maybe he needed a little reassurance.
"Okay fine. Maybe I have been over-indulging a bit. A lot. More than ever before. But come on, Anup, I am on my first ever break in years. I quit my job. I am moving to a new country. I am..."
"Yes, you are nervous about the PhD, the life there...I have heard all that before."
"Don't fucking cut me off and condescend to me!" I snapped.
He was taken aback. I was not one to display flashes of temper.
"Sorry." he said, sulking, and sat back.
I also sat back, wondering what to say next. In all honesty, I knew he was right. I was drinking too much. I was not myself. He knew me better than anyone. He could tell. I could be honest with him. He would be angry, but would understand. Maybe he would help me deal with everything.
Call it fate's cruel sense of humor, but that was the exact moment my phone started ringing. I recognized the number, although I had never saved it. It was my second husband. Calling just as I was in the middle of a raw argument with my first husband. Lallan had not called since that night of his daughter's birthday party. He had left for his long haul trip the very next day. This was the first time since then that he was calling.
"Sorry sweetie, I have to take this. Work stuff." I said, getting up.
"Ok." he nodded, looking at the TV, still sulking.
I walked to the bedroom, closed the door and locked it. And then answered the phone.
"What took you so long, cunt?" Lallan's voice boomed through.
"Sorry, I was busy." I said.
"Getting fucked, no doubt."
"No." I said.
"If I was there right now, I would be fucking you hard hard hard, you slut. But I am here in Baroda instead." he sounded a little drunk.
"Oh ok."
"Whores don't have your body or your stamina, you know, memsaab?" I always found it weird how he kept alternating between cunt, slut, and memsaab. Maybe the mentions of memsaab were necessary to fed his ego and remind him that he had a high class wife as his bitch.
"I see."
"Does your husband make you wail during orgasms the way I do?"
I usually just ignored his questions about my husband. And he usually didn't push me too much. But this time, I surprised myself by answering,
"No, he doesn't."
"I knew it! No one can satisfy you like I can!"
I cringed and felt like crying. It was true. I was not his victim. I was his mistress.
"I wish I wasn't here in Baroda tonight. I really want you tonight. I can't wait to be back. I will be back in 4 days. And then bang you like the bitch you are, memsaab. How is Delhi?"
This is when I made that impulsive and stupid mistake. I say it was a mistake. And I can justify it saying I was drunk and angry at my husband. But I knew there was something deeper at play. Even after having sex with Anup every night since Lallan left, and liking that sex as it happened, I said what I said next. A complete lie.
"I am...not in Delhi." I said.
And then I rushed to my computer in the bedroom and opened up a travel booking site.
"Where are you then?"
I typed a couple of things. It took a few seconds to get the results.
"Hey cunt, I asked you something!"
"Sorry...I am in Ahmedabad." I said. "For a work conference."
There was silence on the line for a few seconds.
"Ahmedabad?" he asked pointedly.
"Yes." I said.
"Is your husband with you?"
"No." I said, hating myself for this elaborate and needy stunt.
He was silent for a while and I could hear some muffled conversations in the background. Finally he spoke,
"Listen, cunt. I am just a couple of hours away. We were going to drive to Indore next, but if you're in Ahmedabad, I need to come there." he said.
"But Lallan...I am not sure if..." I had become such an accomplished liar that I knew that I needed to put up at least a pretense of reluctance.
"Shut up!" he yelled. "Don't forget who you're talking to."
"Sorry."
"Where is this conference thing in Ahmedabad?"
"Oh...umm...the Hyatt." I had no idea if there even was a Hyatt in Ahmedabad. But it seemed like a safe enough bet.
"Okay. One second."
There were a few muffled conversations again. And then he was back on the line.
"So...here's what is going to happen. I will be coming to Ahmedabad. I will take you to a lodge or something and we will spend the night together. And make up for these past two weeks. Be outside the Hyatt at 1130."
"Lallan please...what you are asking is so..."
"Cunt, don't you know by now what I can do to you? Just because I have been nice to you recently, you think you can raise your voice to me?"
"Okay...okay...sorry." I said.
"1130. Outside the Hyatt. Got it?"
"Yes."
He hung up.
As the conversation had been happening, I had been booking an air ticket online simultaneously. Done with that, I tok a deep breath, felt another bout of guilt and self-loathing, and walked out.
Anup was sitting on the couch watching TV. He looked at me.
"Sorry Anup...I have to fly to Ahmedabad immediately."
"What? Why?" he was surprised.
"It's about one of the cases I was counseling last year. It has a crucial court hearing early tomorrow in Ahmedabad." I said, hoping I sounded believable.
"What's wrong? Why do you have to go?" he got up, sounding worried.
"Honey, you know I can't discuss my cases with you. Confidentiality clauses." I said, walking back into the bedroom and pulling out a travel bag.
He followed me, saying,
"I know. I know." and was silent for a few seconds. "Listen...I am sorry about earlier."
"No, it's fine." I said, stuffing a few clothes into the bag. "We will talk about it later."
"I'll drop you to the airport." he said.
"I'll just call an Uber." I said. "You've had a long day. And I'll be back in a day or two."
"Oh okay."
Anup helped me pack. He was actually helping me pack as I took an impulsive trip to see Lallan. I hated what I had become. But I couldn't help it. I needed Lallan. I needed him right away.
On the way to the airport, I looked up the address to the Hyatt Ahmedabad. I was still a little under the influence of alcohol, so to dissuade any questions or suspicions, I changed into the skirt suit before boarding the flight. If there is one thing everyone in the Indian service industry respects, it is formal clothing.
When I landed in Ahmedabad and took a cab to the Hyatt, there was still an hour left before Lallan's specified time. As I stepped into the hotel, I suddenly felt the ful weight of what I had done. I had lied to my husband and lied to Lallan to engineer this hook-up in the middle of the night in a random city.
I had a couple of drinks at the bar before stepping out at 1130 and waited for my tormentor, my lover, my second husband.
And that's how I had ended up with this strange man's dick in my mouth in a moving truck as Lallan rained spanks on my half-exposed ass.
"Oh man...she is good." Munaf inhaled as I pressed my tongue against his thick dick in my mouth. It stank and it had brambly pubic hair around it, but the filthiness of the situation was turning me on instead of disgusting me. Which made me feel disgusted about myself and the decisions I had taken to get here. I sucked at the dick hungrily, with my index finger and thumb grasping tightly at the base of the shaft.
Lallan had meanwhile rolled my formal skirt all the way up. The customary hard spanks were being delivered on my ass cheeks. I was wearing boyshorts style black lace panties. Lallan had pushed the fabric into my ass crack and my round exposed ass shone in the dim street light filtering through the truck's windows.
"Where did you learn to suck dick like this, memsaab?" Munaf said, fondling my boobs over my top between changing gears as he drove the truck.
"I had to teach her. Earlier she used to be like no Lallan darling please I don't like it. She didn't know what was good for her."
Although I had never once called him darling, he had indeed gotten me into giving blowjobs. I used to really hate it. It was one of my turn-offs for most of my life. But Lallan had bent me to his will in more ways than one. My husband liked that change in me though, now that I had started sucking his dick too. He had been very surprised the first night when he was back and I slithered down in bed and took his dong in my mouth. After years of dating and marriage, it was the first time I had initiated a blowjob. Thankfully, he was delighted rather than suspicious.
"She is a kinky slut this one." Lallan pinching my butt hard. "She pretends to be all pure and noble and breaks up people's marriages. But as the night proceeds, you will see what else she has learned from me. She can get really adventurous. We just need to give her some booze."
"I can smell alcohol on her breath already." Munaf said.
"Yeah, she loves to drink. And then telling wives to leave their husbands for drinking. Such a bitch. Here, memsaab, have some."
A bottle of hooch was pushed towards me. I took a few big swigs of a strong fruity tasting alcoholic liquid and felt it sear my throat as it went down. During this, I still kept jacking off the truck owner's dick with my other hand.
I could see Munaf's face looking down at mine for a while, in his lap, and worried he wasn't looking at the road. Sure enough there was a loud honk from an oncoming vehicle and he jerked the truck to avoid a collision. His dick slipped out of my mouth. That shaking made the bottle splash some drink over my clothes and his lap.
"Fuck!" he said and I felt the truck slowing down.
"Careful, Munaf bhai." Lallan said.
"Sorry, this curvy memsaab's gorgeous face in my lap, her lips around my dick, looking into my eyes, drinking hooch...it was too much distraction. You really have bagged quite the item, Lallan."
The looking into into his eyes was another of Lallan's teachings. He loved having eye contact during blowjobs, as if to remind us both of who we were and what we were doing.
"That lane looks dark and empty. Maybe it's time for a break." Tony said from behind, where the naked stocky Kanta was still sucking his dick making gagging sounds.
"Hmmmm." Munaf said grabbing at my hooch stained chest. I started putting my mouth over his dick again when he pulled me up by the hair.
I looked into his eyes again.
"Enough with the mouth for now. Sit up." he said and I did as was told.
We were still on the outskirts of Ahmedabad, but this was a dark lane for sure. Street lights weren't on. No other drivers and no cops around, I guess they were okay having my head visible through the windshield. Soon it was more than just my head.
As Munaf slowly pulled the truck at the far end of the lane, Lallan took the bottle away from my hand and was rapidly stripping me in the crowded cabin. My skirt was pulled off with my panties and I heard Tony sigh and chuckle looking at my shaved pussy. Even Kanta was staring with some admiration. My jacket and top were off too and soon I was just in a bra. The truck had stopped by now. I expected Lallan to pull me onto his dick soon. But today, he seemed more keen on showing me off. And sharing my perversions with the others.
"You have the honor of getting her fully naked, Munaf Bhai." Lallan magnanimously said, spanking my round ass a couple of times.
The chubby man looked at me hungrily.
"Get in the back." he said.
I obeyed. It's not like I had much of a choice. But more than that, I did want this. I wanted his thick circumcised dick inside me. Regular vanilla sex with Anup had been nice but had not been able to fully satisfy the way I wanted. Lallan truly had broken something inside my head. Wearing just my bra, I put one leg over the truck's front seat. I could feel the cheap rexine edge of the backrest dig into at my pussy and even that tiny bit of pressure sent a thrill through me. I really was like an animal in heat.
"She's a tall one, isn't she?" Munaf said as one of my feet lightly hit his cheek while I climbed over to the back.
The back portion of the truck cab was small and dark. Tony and Kanta both reached over and fondled my ass as I slid all the way down. They both moved to other side of the bench, she still naked and on her knees. Then Munaf's chubby middle aged body clumsily clambered over the back seat. He stood on his knees on the floor between me and the other woman. He squeezed Kanta's heaving breasts. Then he felt mine over the bra.
"Hard to say whose are bigger."
His hand went behind my back and fumbled with the bra for a few seconds before unhooking it, as if he wasn't used to doing this too often. With the bra falling off, I too was now fully naked like Kanta. I was sitting on my ass nude, surrounded by these people that I barely knew. And yet I didn't feel the slightest need to hide my nakedness. Munaf put one hand on each of our tits and started groping and squeezing like a doctor checking for lumps. Even this ugly fat man's rough touch was making me horny.
"Both have beautiful big tits." he started giving his judgment. "Kanta's might be a little bigger. But memsaab's are more firm. Her nipples are slightly smaller but I like that pink color more than Kanta's dark brown."
Tony next to him and Lallan behind me on the front seat started laughing as Kanta and I both blushed. In even the most extreme situations, there is no limit to male arrogance and female modesty.
"Anyway, enough chit-chat." Munaf said.
No words were said for a while. The back of the cabin was a tiny space, barely 6 feet wide and maybe 3 feet deep, with a curving roof. It was soon full of just awkward movements and bodies hitting bodies and the occasional sigh as Kanta and I stared at each other solemnly. Munaf put one hand on my ass and another on my upper arm to pull me into a doggy position, 45 degrees to the bench, and my elbows resting on it. My long legs, even folded, just barely fit in that space. Kanta mirrored this on her own. She probably had been fucked in the truck before, she seemed more comfortable than me even in the cramped space. Although she was much shorter than I was. Both our torsos formed a V in front of the the bench, with our heads almost touching to make the vertex.
The burly Tony got behind her ass. As Munaf did the same, I looked at Tony's dick, knowing it would be inside me eventually. It was longer than average but thin, a contrast from Munaf's shorter than average but thick stump. I realized that of all three of them, Lallan had the most forgettable dick and the most petite physique and yet he was the one who had orchestrated this perverted gathering by sheer force. When Tony took his shirt off, he revealed a big muscular and hairy chest.
"Look at her checking out the goods." I heard Lallan chuckle from the front seat. I blushed and looked away.
I felt Munaf's hands on my waist, pushing me down to arch my back. I closed my eyes.
"On three...one two..."
I felt the thick helmet head of his dick pushing against my cunt lips.
"Three!" Munaf said.
He shoved his dick inside in one swift motion. Even though I had seen it up close and taken it in my mouth, I was still surprised by how thick it felt inside me. I was wet, but still, not used to the girth.
"Oh...fffuck." I moaned as the dick hit my insides and my head hit Kanta's who had also been penetrated simultaneously.
Munaf started fucking me at a rapid pace instantly. There was no build-up of any kind. He was just pounding me hard like a rutting animal, making my tits swing and hit the wooden bench. I opened my eyes and saw that Tony was going slower with Kanta. But her big tits were also hitting the bench, just a few inches from mine. And of course our heads kept bumping in that tiny space.
Then there were a few bright flashes and I looked back. Of course Lallan was in the middle of the front seat, taking pictures with his phone.
"Oh man, what a sight this is. If we were to turn this into a porn film, we could be rich." he said, with his usual arrogant laugh.
"Unhhh!!" I groaned as Munaf started pounding me even harder. It was the thickest dick I had ever experienced and I was feeling discomfort and pleasure in equal measure. Instinctively, one of my hands reached over and grasped at Kanta's. She was also moaning although not as loudly. Her hand responded and our fingers were interlocked tightly. And just like that a bond of sorts was formed between me and this woman, as we held and braced each other getting fucked side by side in the back of a truck at some random spot in Gujarat. Munaf noticed.
"Looks like...these two women...are becoming...friends." he said breathing heavily as his dick kept ramming my cunt hard.
"Memsaab has a way to bond with maids." Lallan snickered and then he turned on the light in the cabin.
Kanta and I looked into each others eyes, our mouths open and moaning loudly. I could see from her expressions and her body language that she was in a similar position as me. Her mind was not happy to be there but her body was glad she was. Lallan had been right that in terms of free will, she was there just the way I was there.
"This light isn't too good for a video." Lallan grumbled holding his phone up and showing us all the grainy footage he had just captured. Even in that bad resolution, the scene looked so insanely perverted and also erotic.
"You can try in the morning again." Tony said, still fucking Kanta in deep luxurious strokes.
By this stage I had admitted to myself that the pictures and videos didn't matter, so I didn't feel anything about him capturing this foursome either. As Neeta had said correctly during the therapy sessions, it wasn't really about the pictures and videos. And even if it was, he had enough of them anyway. The truth was, I had changed, and had fallen into a destructive spiral of sexual abuse, which I had somehow started enjoying. I was no different than Parvati or Kanta here, no matter how educated and qualified and self-righteous and self-piteous I decided to be. Even in the middle of that intense rapid fucking by a complete stranger's thick dick, it was like an epiphany.
"Hrmmhrmmm." I heard Munaf make a guttural sound and felt his dick thick throb a little inside me.
"Bhai, not inside." Lallan said. "Don't want the cunt all sloppy and messed up."
"Of course." he nodded.
The chubby middle aged man moved with surprising speed as he took his dick out and pulled me into an uncomfortable kneeling position. I opened my mouth thinking he wanted that. But instead the thick dick shot a big load all over my face. It was a lot of cum. He splashed my forehead, eyes, cheeks, lips, hair, and some landed on my boobs.
"I love these kinds of pictures of her that you showed me. Her face all happy and well fucked with jizz all over it." Munaf said. "Don't wipe it off yet."
Munaf bent down and posed with his face next to mine and holding up a victory sign. Lallan took a bunch of pictures as keepsakes. A permanent reminder of me naked on my knees, face covered with the cum of a man I had barely met an hour before, in the back of a truck.
I wasn't expecting a break or a respite, but was still surprised at how quickly the configuration of our sweaty naked bodies changed. Clambering over me, Munaf went back to the front seat. Tony took his dick out of Kanta and slid over behind me as Lallan climbed into the back. Soon Tony's tall swarthy body was behind my tall curvy one and his longish dick was inside me, reminding me of how it felt with my husband.
Soon Kanta and I were forming that V again, cum dripping from my face to the seat. Lallan made Kanta lick the drops from the seat as he fucked her. He watched with a proud look on his face as the swarthy Tony slowly and skillfully fucked me in deep and meaningful strokes. It wasn't the one-pace pounding that Munaf had given me, although I had liked it. But the handsome and well-built Tony was clearly a more experienced and more knowledgeable lover. Within a couple of minutes of his fucking, I could sense that I was going to cum soon. He varied his pace masterfully, shifting between deep rapid thrusts and slower strokes. His hands were also doing more than just spank my ass or squeeze my tits. Tony kept one hand under my body all the time playing with my clit.
Lallan's short wiry body meanwhile was banging against the stocky Kanta's with his usual intensity and rhythm. As she and I locked hands again, with our eyes and mouths wide open and moaning in rhythm, it was clear to us both that we were about to cum. Maybe at the same time. Munaf was now at the middle of the front seat, recording all this on his camera and taking a few pictures in between.
And sure enough, it happened. I gripped Kanta's fingers tightly as the orgasm from Tony's talented fucking hit me. And maybe it was a coincidence or just seeing me in that state that pushed her over the edge just a couple of seconds later. The two men proudly kept banging us as the two of us moaned and shook and screamed through simultaneous orgasms.
"That was amazing! Both sluts came at once!" Munaf said, phone still pointed at us, as Kanta and I recovered from our orgasms.
Before either of us could think or say anything, the two guys withdrew their dicks. Knowing the drill, we both faced them. But both dicks were in my face and the sperm from both Tony and Lallan hit me again. Kanta's face escaped the mess.
"Hahahaha!" all three men were laughing as my face was caked in their ejaculates while I sat naked on the floor of the truck cabin. Kanta was sitting next to us breathing hard.
There was another photo session. Tony with my cum-covered face. Then Lallan and Tony together on their knees with their dicks bracketing my cum-covered face. Then Kanta licking my cum-covered face. Then Kanta and my big boobs next to each other. And so on. The three men kept laughing and exchanging high fives as the two of us pliantly took whatever poses they wanted and submitted to more electronic records of our depravity being created.
Soon they realized that they were falling behind in terms of their deadline and the truck got moving again. The three men sat in the front fully dressed. And the two of us, naked on all fours, were told to crawl around naked in that tiny back space "cleaning" the jizz from the floor and bench. In that tiny space, our asses hanging in the air, Kanta and I crawled around, bumping into each other. Munaf kept driving but occasionally looked back. The other two kept looking at us and taking pictures even in the dim cabin light though, reaching over to pinch or fondle our naked bodies.
"Shit! Police checkpost!" Munaf said as I felt the truck slowing down. The cabin light was quickly turned off and it was all dark again.
"You two, go in the back now! And stay quiet!" Lallan said, a rare worried edge to his voice.
I was confused for a few seconds. We were already in the back. What did he mean? But Kanta clearly knew her way around the truck because I saw her big dusky ass swing as she crawled past the bench and to the back wall of the cabin. And then she opened a small slotted window that I had not noticed before. It must have been 2 feet by 2 feet, if that. Kanta put her arms and head through it and started crawling across. Her dark asshole and cunt flashed right in front of my face and I looked away out of courtesy. It was a tight fit for her stocky body but she managed to go through.
"Go go go, you cunt!" Lallan growled.
And I too was climbing through that tiny square in the back of the truck cabin. Wondering how my own asshole and cunt must have been clearly visible to the men. But I doubt they were watching. They seemed clearly worried. When I landed with a thud into the back deck of the truck, Kanta reached over and closed the small door. And then she sat on her ass naked, her legs folded, with her palm over her mouth. She seemed to know what she was doing. So I did the same.
Even in the darkness, I could make out that we were surrounded by boxes and crates piled up all around us. Except for a short space that we were occupying, the rest of the space seemed packed. This was such an unfamiliar situation, I had no idea what to do or say other than follow Kanta's lead. But I could overhear what the men were saying.
"Just like the last time, remember? Potato chips and other snacks. You know the boxes they will check." Munaf said tensely as the truck was close to stopping.
"Will your memsaab keep her mouth shut?" Tony said.
"Don't worry about her. She is my bitch. Besides, she doesn't know anything." Lallan said trying to sound his usual arrogant self, but I could sense the tension in his voice. I did not know what he meant by my not knowing anything.
There was silence for a while as the truck stopped completely. Then I heard a door open.
"Salam, sir." Munaf's voice.
"License, insurance, permit, invoice." a policeman's voice, presumably said.
There was silence for a while again. There was some ambient light coming through the holes in the tarp surrounding us. I saw Kanta curled up and really terrified. I didn't understand why.
"Kanta why are..." I started whispering.
"SHHHHHH!!" she said harshly, sounding like she was on the verge of crying.
I stayed silent. There were some more conversations about the permit, invoice etc. Then the cop's voice said,
"Okay, one of you get down and open the back."
"It's just potato chips and..."
"I said OPEN IT!!" the cop yelled.
"Okay sir."
As I heard footsteps walk to the back, you can imagine what was going through my head. These men were terrified about what would happen if the cops found two naked women in the back of their trucks. This was my "out" if I wanted. I could scream, tell them I had been kidnapped and raped. And it would all go away.
But as the back of truck was opened with a rusty whiny sound and the back tarp was pulled up, I said nothing. Some more light filtered through the gaps in the boxes. I stayed silent, pushed against the cold metallic side of the truck.
"It's like I said..." I heard Tony's voice say.
"Quiet!" the cop growled.
I heard a few footsteps heavily get into the back of the truck. There was a sound of some boxes and crates being opened. And the plastic rustling of packets. Some more boxes and crates were opened. The whole time I knew that I was just a few feet away from my possible salvation. Sure, I was naked and my face still had cum residue on it. But these were policemen. I had years of experience dealing with policemen. I knew policemen. All I had to do was stand up and scream.
But I stayed curled up with my palm on my mouth.
"Okay. This looks fine. Potato chips and snacks." the cop finally said, sounding bored.
The footsteps receded. The back of the truck was closed. It was dark again. There were muffled sounds of conversation on the outside, but I could not make out what was said. When I felt like we were "safe", I whispered,
"Kanta, what was that all about?"
No response.
"Kanta?"
I crawled over to her. She was in a fetal position, fast asleep. She looked so tired. I felt bad for her. Who knew how long she had been the fucktoy for these three men.
That's when I heard the doors of the truck slam shut and it started moving.
"That was close, Munaf bhai." Lallan said. "The guy was just a couple of boxes away."
"It's okay now." Munaf said. "The cops don't go beyond a few boxes unless they suspect something."
"I was terrified we would get caught." Tony said.
"We were playing it a bit risky for sure." Munaf said. "Lallan, I appreciate getting to fuck those women. But we need to be careful. Sex is great and trust me, fucking a gorgeous memsaab like that is a dream come true. But we need to be more careful."
"From now on, no more fucking or playing while driving. Only when we are off-road. Get it?"
The other two just hmmed. They were quiet for a while. Kanta was fast asleep and in fact snoring. I heard the slot door being opened. I too curled up and started simulating snoring noises. I sensed a head peer through the gap.
"Both of them are asleep." I heard Tony's voice say.
"We did fuck the daylights out of them." Lallan said and snickered.
And the three men started laughing. Tony's head disappeared. And the three men laughed for a little while more.
"I will feel safer when we are out of Gujarat," Munaf finally said. "Too many fucking cops in Gujarat. Rajasthan is better that way."
The truck picked up speed and kept going. I could hear the three men discuss my body, my cunt, my mouth, my sexual appetite, and so on. But I wasn't really paying attention to that. I was confused and intrigued by what had happened.
Initially, I had assumed that the men were terrified about getting caught with two naked women in their truck. But one thing struck me as odd. Lallan saying the cop was just a couple of boxes away. When in fact the cop was several rows away from us. He would have had to wade through the entire packed truck to find us, unless one of us screamed. Munaf saying earlier, remember, just potato chips and stuff. And the cop had found potato chips. So...what was I missing? He had also said I didn't know anything. What did I not know?
I got on all fours very slowly and crawled naked to the nearest crate. It was nailed shut, but some plastic stuff was bulging out of the slats in the crate. I poked at it. It was something powdery. Definitely not potato chips or snacks. I crawled to the next crate and poked through the slats. Same stuff. Soft and powdery. I checked a couple of more crates and felt the same thing. Is this what they were afraid the cops would discover? What was going on here exactly? I moved to another crate and found that the plastic packet with the soft powdery stuff had a small hole in it. I dipped a finger in and tasted it. And I felt a slight jolt in my brain.
An hour or so later, I was half-asleep as I felt the truck slowing down. I sat up. The truck stopped.
"I will show you what that cunt memsaab is capable of." I heard Lallan say.
The slot door opened soon.
"Shikha madam!! Get the fuck up!" I heard Lallan lustily say. It sounded like he had been drinking now that the truck had presumably left the city..
I opened my eyes and looked him. He gestured with his fingers to come out through the tiny slot. And I did. As I squeezed my naked body through the small space into the front, I saw Tony and Munaf staring hungrily at me from the front seat.
I was led down the truck. The men got down behind me, each of them groping my ass and tits. We were in a dark empty field a couple of hundred feet from the highway. The moon had just risen and that was the only light.
I stare back at the three men eyeing me hungrily, wondering if Kanta was going to be dragged down next. But it turned out I was only star of this particular session under the stars. Lallan had a bottle of hooch in his hand that he took a big swig out of and then he handed it to Tony. Lallan's hand then went to his waist. I knew what was coming. The belt slid out with a swishing sound.
"Come here." he said in that manic voice.
I had stopped pretending to dread it or hate it. He slapped me hard with his palm and then the back of his hand on my cheeks with full force. Sure to leave bruises. The two men, despite having seen the videos, seemed a little taken aback by the force with which their lowly colleague was manhandling a memsaab.
Even through the tears that involuntarily sprang up in my eyes, I looked at Lallan who made a gesture at the side of the truck. I knew what it meant. I could read his gestures and desires better than those of my husband. I bent in the waist grabbing the edge of the truck carriage. And I arched my waist just the way he like making my big creamy ass stick out under the moonlight.
"See this." Lallan said to the others.
SPLAT! SPLAT!
Two hard strokes of the belt landed on my ass. I cried out with pain but also arousal. Six more strokes landed in rapid succession with the other two men staring and also nervously chuckling.
"Check her cunt."
Munaf approached me and stuck his fingers inside me.
"Really wet! Wetter than before! She does like it." he said amazed.
"You try."
Munaf took the belt. And started whipping my ass too. But he didn't have the same power or intensity as Lallan, clearly holding back. He was enjoying this rare opportunity but he was clearly still wasn't the sadistic psychopath that Lallan was. It was the same with Tony Then Lallan closed out the whipping session with a dozen hard blows.
Delirious from pain and arousal, I was dragged to a grassy patch. Lallan first put the bottle of hooch to my mouth and held it until I had emptied the bottle.
"The booze helps loosen her asshole." Lallan said very matter-of-factly.
Munaf was on the ground with his pants off. I staggered even the 3 steps, almost losing balance, without any prompting. I slumped on top of him with my knees on either side of his waist. The men laughed with wicket delight as reached down with my hand and guided the thick dong into my cunt and started slowly riding him. He put his palms on my ass and squeezed. I winced because his fingers cause pains on the welts left by Lallan's belt.
"Tony. Try her ass. Spit on it a few times." I vaguely heard Lallan say. The booze was starting to course through my already battered system.
I only barely registered Tony's presence behind me. But I did feel his spit hit my ass and his fingers rubbing it. And then, even as Munaf's dick was sending pleasure waves around my cunt, I felt Tony's dick invade my asshole. And that first ever double penetration instantly sent me over the edge...
--------------
"Stop! Stop!" Nita said raising her voice.
I looked up at her disturbed face. I had been staring at my palms while narrating everything.
"I understand the need for you to get this all out. But I have my limits too." Nita shuddered. "I don't think I can take this level of detail anymore."
"Okay." I said, meekly nodding and involuntarily rubbing my ass along the couch as I remembered how it had felt to be entered by two dicks.
"Just give me the broad summary for today." she said tenderly. "We can cover the details in the next sessions."
"Well, I was about to say that I don't remember much detail after that orgasm, because my blood alcohol level crossed my tolerance soon." I shrugged.
"Okay good. Go on."
"The three men fucke..." I stopped mid-sentence to curb my instinct to give her all the lurid details. "...went at me for about an hour or so at least. Together. Separately. There was more beating and spanking and whipping. I don't remember most of it. Just short flashes. I don't even remember who carried me back to the truck. I woke up in the middle of the night with snores all around me."
"And the truck was still moving?"
"No, it seemed like they were all too tired or drunk for anyone to drive. They were all passed out in the cabin, the truck still by the side of the road."
"And that's when you thought of the exit plan? With Dubey's help?"
"No, I had thought of it much before while exploring the crates. This is when I was able to get my phone and all their phones easily. They had been recording and photographing everything they did with me so they were out there in plain sight, next to their passed out slumped bodies. I..."
--------------
I had been struggling with a lot of conflicting feelings that night. Self-loathing for lying to my husband and even to Lallan because I had been missing his sado-masochistic brand of sex that was the only thing that could now satisfy me. The unexpected thrill of being fucked by two more low class boors. Being in orgies and three-ways and four-ways. The pleasure of finally having multiple satisfying orgasms throughout the night, after two unsatisfying weeks with my husband. But most of all, the rational realization that I really was in a co-dependent abusive relationship that was getting out of hand.
I had always had the option of calling in my contacts in the police to end the whole saga at any time. My only worry had been all those pictures and videos circulating around the internet and destroying my life even more if Lallan came good on his threats. As much as part of me had wanted it to end, I was not willing to put myself in the direct line of fire. But now I had an indirect way.
After waiting a few minutes to make sure everyone was really completely passed out, I first checked my GPS location on the phone. And then typed a long text message to my old friend Inspector Anil Dubey. I waited an agonizing five minutes until he responded.
- I am on it, Shikha. Hang tight.
I slowly gathered the phones and my purse and slid through the gap into the bed of the truck. I made a slight thump as I landed, but luckily the men kept sleeping. And then I just waited.
I didn't have to wait too long. In just fifteen minutes, there was a loud noise of a couple of police sirens and the screeches of tires braking. It shows how much the three men had drunk when gang-banging me that even this loud din did not wake them up.
"Three men passed out. A lot of hooch bottles, Hey, wake up." I heard a male voice say after opening the door. And then I heard a couple of slaps.
"They seem really out of it." the voice continued. "Check in the back. That's where the heroine headed for Punjab is according Delhi's source. And take the lady officer. There might be two kidnapped women."
It's all simple really. Once I discovered that these men were smuggling drugs under the guise of transporting potato chips and snacks, there was no need for me to be in the direct line of fire. Being caught red-handed with the drugs would be enough to put them away. I just needed to share the location of the truck, give a few details of my situation to Anil and count on my goodwill and his discretion to take care of the rest.
I heard the back of the truck open as Lallan, Munaf, and Tony, still passed out, were dragged down from the front cabin. Two sets of footsteps walked through the truck.
"Chips...chips...chips...powder!" a male voice said as the footsteps approached me.
I closed my eyes partially and curled up as a few creates were moved and a face peered through them. He looked surprised at my bruised naked body and then spotted Kanta to.
"Vaishali, you're on. The kidnapped women are here. Naked!"
A female officer approached me and I opened my eyes tiredly. She shone a flashlight and saw the bruises and welts all over my body. I sat up. The commotion had woken up Kanta too who looked petrified.
"It'll be okay, Kanta." I whispered to her as the female officer radioed her colleagues.
------------
"So Dubey came through." Nita said.
"Yes, in quick time. Kanta and I were dressed and taken to a van and given water and some first aid. All the cops were gentle and helpful. Anil had contacted a close friend from his IPS days and made the arrangements I asked him to."
"So you were kept out of the official report."
"Yes. Kanta too. She was sent back to her home. I was put on a train to Delhi. The quantity of drugs in the truck was enough to put the three men away for a while. I could see the junior cops weren't happy with it and were aching to take our statements and search our belongings. But Anil's friend was calling the shots and we were saved the public record of our humiliation and infidelity."
"Hmmmm." Nita said and looked at her clock behind me. It had already been a two hour session.
"That is it I guess." I shrugged and sat back, wincing a little as it made the bruise on my back feel sore.
"It is certainly an acceptable enough end to one part of your saga, Shikha." Nita said. "But what about..."
"I know what you're going to ask. What about Anup? My marriage is over. I can't go back to him. I have too much guilt and my entire mental make-up when it comes to morality as well as sex has been rearranged."
"How did he take it?"
"Angry. Disappointed. Hurt." I slumped forward again. "Obviously I am not going to Stanford either. I cannot in good conscience do it anymore."
"So...what are you going to do next?" Nita asked in a tender voice.
I was sitting in a coffee shop downtown in a New Jersey college town working on a term paper, when the cellphone rang. It was Parag, my boyfriend.
"Hi sweetie!" I answered enthusiastically. "Just 48 hours!"
"Ummm.... Hi Anar." he said in a voice that immediately gave portends of what was about to come.
"Shit! Don't tell me! DO NOT FUCKING TELL ME!" I said. By now, the pattern was all too obvious.
"I am sorry darling, but I can't make it this weekend. Dr. Jones is really cracking the whip and....."
"WHAT THE FUCK!" I said a lot louder than I intended, drawing stares from the dozen or so patrons of the coffee shop and the barista.
"Please try to understand, Anar."
"No, you understand something, Parag. I am enrolled in a Masters program pretty much identical to yours. I didn't even want to fucking come to the United States. I was...."
"Yeah yeah, you were happy working as a code coolie in India." Parag said, his contrition suddenly turning to sarcasm. "I am the one responsible for throwing you in the nightmare that is America!"
"I don't think it's a nightmare." I said in a calm but frigid voice. "I quite like it here. I manage to get all my work done through the week and keep the weekend free for you! You're the one who keeps cancelling."
"Anar, I don't enjoy cancelling my trips. It's not like I love staying in North Carolina all the time. But the work really is...."
"The work is too much? Again, I am in pretty much the same program as yours, Parag. In a higher ranked university!"
"Well...." Parag seemed lost for words for a while but came back with an unsavory zinger. "It's not my fault that I am not a hot woman whom Professors take it easy on."
I silently seethed in anger at what he had just said. He stayed silent too. There was dead air on the phone for about a minute. Finally I gathered my thoughts and said,
"You asshole! Are you implying that I somehow have it easy, being a woman?"
"No, I am not saying that." Parag replied hesitantly.
"I work my butt off getting everything done, Parag. I have to work twice as hard as anyone to be taken seriously." I said, feeling my voice rise again.
"I am sure you do, honey. But you have to realize...."
"I don't have to do anything. You're the one who has to work harder instead of hanging out with your buddies playing stupid video games."
"Hey, those games help me relax!" Parag shot back.
"No they don't. They distract you from your work. If you had not wasted your time on those stupid MMORPG games...."
"They are not stupid. The gaming industry last year......."
"..... brought in more revenue than Hollywood. Yes I know. You keep repeating that idiotic little factoid you gleaned from NPR."
"Idiotic?" Parag said, now sounding upset. "You know what, even if I didn't have to work this weekend, I'd rather spend it playing those stupid games than take the bus to meet you!"
"Is that so? Fine then! Go stick your dick in a video game console!"
I said and ended the call. I stared at the phone angrily for a few moments and then looked around. Most people were ignoring me, but in their earnest indifference, I detected the hint of the fact that they had heard me have a big fight with my boyfriend. I cursed him and his video games in my mind and turned my attention to the term paper.
"Hi, excuse me...sorry to bother you...." a voice in my periphery said a few minutes later.
I looked up and saw a vaguely familiar face belonging to a man slightly older than me. He had a mop of brown hair and a brown goatee surrounding a friendly smile. He wore a white Coldplay t-shirt and stonewashed jeans. I had a strong feeling I knew him from somewhere, but couldn't quite place him. But just to be on the safe side, I flashed him a polite smile and said,
"Hi! How're you doing?"
"I'm good." he said and paused. Then he said, "I was wondering....are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as I could.
"Okay....well...I was sitting on the next table and couldn't help overhearing....and since we see each other every day, I thought I'd just check up on you." he said.
I looked at him trying to keep a smile on my face, but trying really hard to figure out where I knew him from. He must have read my mind, because he said
"You have no idea who I am, do you?"
"I am sorry," I said feeling guilty. "You look familiar but I can't quite...."
"It's okay. I guess I look a lot different when I am not wearing a janitor's uniform." he said and smiled.
And then it dawned on me. He was one of the janitors in the department where I was a graduate student. He didn't work on the floor my office was in, but I did see him around the building on a daily basis. Especially when I went out of the building for a smoking break, and he was also there, silently puffing away at his Parliaments.
"Oh yeah! I am so sorry. I just didn't...."
"Don't be sorry. It's not like janitors and graduate students fraternize a lot. I only know you by sight cos I have seen you at the smoker's corner with your Camels. I don't know your name though."
"I am Anar." I said, extending a hand towards him. He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.
"I am Dustin." He said and asked, "Say, do you mind if I join you at this table? I hate having coffee alone."
"Sure." I said. He seemed friendly enough. Dustin pulled up the chair in front of mine and sat down.
"So as I said, I couldn't help overhearing....."
"Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't mean to be so loud." I said apologetically.
"Oh no, that's fine. I was just wondering if I could be of any help. I've been in such situations a lot."
"What situations?"
"Well, long distance relationships. Troubled relationships. Fights. Arguments. So if you wanna talk about it with someone, feel free to unload on me."
I looked at him for a moment. Dustin seemed friendly enough but I barely knew him. I didn't feel comfortable sharing the problems in my love life with him. But he was just trying to be helpful. So I politely said,
"Oh it's okay. I don't wanna bore you. It's just the same old thing. Same old fight. Nothing too serious."
"My girlfriend and I also keep having reruns of our fights." Dustin said, as the waitress got his cup of coffee and put it in front of him. "There are two episodes that are on the rerun all the time. One is, why don't I give up trying to be a musician and get a real job. "
"A musician?" I asked, surprised.
"Yeah, you don't think I am a career janitor, do you? I took this job just to pay the rent. I am part of a band. I am the bass guitarist."
"Wow, I had no idea!" I said, realizing that this janitor was a lot more interesting than he first appeared. "What kind of music do you play?"
"Oh we don't like to label ourselves. But it is kinda punk folksy alternative indie rock with underground and Brit-pop influences."
I chuckled at the complex but vague description.
"Yeah, I know. Sounds wishy-washy. But that's kinda our sound! When we make it big, we'll start our own genre." Dustin said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"And your girlfriend wants you to give it up?" I asked.
"Yeah, she does. She says I am about to turn 35. My band hasn't even landed decent gigs in Manhattan. Our time is done. Time to move on."
I was surprised to learn that Dustin was 35. As I said, he just looked a few years elder to me. I am 24. I guessed him to be in his late 20s. Maybe he looked younger because he had a small body frame. He wasn't more than 5 ft 8, and could not have weighed more than 160 pounds.
"But you want to keep playing?" I asked the question I assumed I was expected to ask.
"Well, we, my band members and I, figure we should keep doing it as long as it seems right. But my girlfriend insists I should stop. Which is ironic, because I met her at a concert of our band last year. So if it weren't for my band, we wouldn't even be together."
"What does she do?" I asked.
"She is a paralegal in a law firm in Manhattan." Dustin said. "I know, not exactly a high-flying career. But better than being a janitor. Honestly, I don't think the band bothers her as much as my being a janitor on the side."
"So why don't you quit that job?"
"I don't share her condescension towards the profession. You see, my dad was also a janitor at the university. He raised a family of 3 kids on his salary. We never lacked in anything meaningful. So I see now harm being a janitor in my day job while I work on my music."
I nodded, partly in admiration, partly in confusion. As someone raised in India, I instinctively looked down upon those engaging in menial work, janitors being among them. But since I moved to America, I was surprised and impressed at the dignity associated with any kind of labor in this country. How people like plumbers, drivers, carpenters, and yes, janitors, were not thought of as some inferior human beings. Just people doing their jobs. I knew enough about American society by now to know it wasn't exactly egalitarian. But for someone coming from India, the American society did seem to present way way more dignity for blue collar professions.
"I suppose you're right." I said
"I think I am. But she doesn't think so. I think she is embarrassed to tell her trendy Manhattan friends that she is dating a janitor from South Jersey." Dustin said, finishing his coffee.
"And what's the second problem?" I asked.
"Second problem?" Dustin asked, a bit confused.
"You said there were two episodes that keep..."
"Oh yeah! The second problem is, a couple of my female friends that she is always jealous of. She lives in Manhattan so we don't get to spend much time together. Just weekends. So she gets very insecure and jealous." Dustin said.
"And you think she shouldn't be?"
"She shouldn't. I mean, yeah, I admit that I have slept with more than my share of women over the years. But since Vicky and I started dating, I have been completely faithful to her. These female friends are just that, friends. But she gets jealous, and we have fights over them."
I took another look at Dustin. He didn't really seem like an Adonis. Sure, he was cute, with a good personality and an easy manner, but not something that would cause groupies to line up.
"That's shame." I said sympathetically.
"Well, that problem arises from the long distance part of the relationship. I live here in South Jersey and she lives in New York."
"New York? That's just an hour away!" I said, laughing. "Try being in a relationship with someone in North Carolina!"
"Wow, your boyfriend lives in North Carolina???"
"Yup!"
"How did you two start dating then?"
"Oh, when we started dating, we both lived in Bombay. We were in the same class in undergrad. Started dating in our second year, or as you Americans call it, sophomore year."
"I see."
"We were also lucky enough to get a job in the same company where we worked for a year. But Parag...that's his name... always harbored dreams of coming to America for his Masters."
"And you didn't want to?"
"It's not that I didn't want to. I just didn't care as much about it as he did. I would have been perfectly happy in that job, living together in India, getting married, having kids, raising a family."
"But he didn't want to?"
"It's more like he really wanted to come to the US. So he pestered me until I agreed to apply to Masters programs in the US in our field in engineering." I said, finishing my cup of coffee, which by now was really cold. "We applied to the same schools. We were sure we'd get into at least one program together. But as it turned out, I got admits from a bunch of schools totally different from the ones he got into. So we ended up choosing schools that were the closest to each other."
"And that was New Jersey and North Carolina????" Dustin incredulously asked.
"Yeah well, it turns out we hadn't figured out the US geography THAT well when we applied. And to be honest...." I said shrugging, "Parag overestimated his chances despite his grades being a lot lower than mine. So he got a lot fewer admits than I did. And this set-up is what worked best."
"So an 8 hour drive is the closest you could be?"
I shrugged again.
"So what's the problem you to are having?" Dustin asked.
"Well...." I hesitated a bit before answering. But he had told me about his problems in such detail that I felt guilty holding back. "Primarily, we are having trouble coping with the distance. We have never been away from each other before. This is tough."
"Understandable."
"Secondarily, I don't think he tries hard enough to meet me. He seems to be behind on his work a lot, and keeps cancelling our plans."
"Well, they say grad school ain't easy."
"Yeah, but I am in fucking grad school too!" I said, testily. Dustin immediately looked apologetic.
"I know. But maybe he's just not as smart as you are."
"Sometimes I think he isn't as concerned about this relationship as I am." I said, and immediately bit my tongue. It was my worst fear, and certainly not one I should have shared with an almost-stranger.
Dustin wanly smiled at me. He gently patted my hand and said,
"I am sure he is. And I am sure it'll all be okay. It'll be okay between you and Parag. And it'll be okay between me and Vicky."
I patted his hand with my other hand and smiled. Dustin nodded his head and then got up.
"Anyway, I have to go for band practice. It was great talking to you." he said. "I'll see you around school. Don't be a stranger, now!"
"I won't. Seeya, Dustin!"
Dustin walked out of the coffee shop and I got back to working on my term paper. ---------------
I got done with the paper at about 10 pm and took a bus back to my apartment. I shared a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 other female Indian grad students. I paid half the rent and had a bedroom to myself. And the other two girls shared the other bedroom. I had chosen this arrangement because I expected Parag to keep visiting me, so I'd need the privacy of my own bedroom. He had made a similar arrangement in his university town in North Carolina for whenever I visited. But after the first month, when one of us braved the 8 hour bus ride to visit the other every weekend, the frequency of the visits had gone down drastically. And the only relief my bedroom offered me was freedom from the bickering of the two stone age bitches who were my roommates.
I shouldn't be too harsh. They weren't exactly bitches. Just very very childish and conservative. Both came from small towns in India so thought and dressed very frumpy. They were both strict vegetarians, and had never touched alcohol or a cigarette. They forbade me from cooking meat in the house, although I was permitted to bring in non-vegetarian food from outside as long as I ate it in my room. And they clearly disapproved of my smoking, although I did it outside the apartment. They also weren't happy at the fact that whenever Parag came over, he slept in my room, and we obviously had sex. They were like two conservative judgmental aunts I never had and never wanted.
But the worst part was, for all their problems with me and my so-called "lifestyle", it was each other that they couldn't get along with. They were always feuding with each other, which made life difficult since they slept in the same room, albeit on different beds. I wasn't even sure what the origin of the feud was. It had something to do with one of them drinking milk from a carton the other bought, or not cleaning the room or some such petty reason. But they kept bickering all the time. It was the worst living situation imaginable.
That night, luckily, there seemed to be some sort of a truce. Both of them were sitting in the living room watching TV. I joined them for a while, and then headed downstairs for a smoke. I could feel their disapproving looks burning into my back when I walked away.
As I lit up my cigarette, the phone rang. It was Parag. He called up to say he was sorry for being such an ass to me. He sounded so earnest that I apologized for being a bitch too. I assured him that I understood if his work this weekend had made him cancel the trip. Parag on his part promised me he'd try to word harder and visit me as soon as he could. We both said "I love you" to each other, and I went to bed feeling a lot better.
---------------
Over the next few days, I kept running into Dustin in the department. We usually chatted and exchanged a few words when we met in the corridors. He'd ask me how Parag was doing and I'd inquire after Vicky. Then one day, we both happened to be outside the building at the same time for a smoke. The conversation moved from small talk to elaborate talk. And both of us ended up sharing more information about our love lives than we previously had.
"To be honest, the problem is, I do have a roving eye. But just an eye." Dustin said.
"How do you mean?"
"Vicky is the first serious girlfriend I have had in four years. And I am not quite used to being in a monogamous relationship. And being in a band, I get a lot of opportunities to flirt with pretty women. Lots of temptations."
"Hmmmm."
"But I have never acted on those temptations. The problem is, I usually end up telling Vicky about some of these instances. Like last month, two girls came up to me and our lead singer after a gig we had in a bar downtown. The lead singer is single, so he had no hesitation in turning on his charm at full blast on one of the girls. I was his de-facto wingman so I flirted, within limits, with the other girl. But it never went beyond that. I told about this to Vicky. And instead of appreciating my honesty and fidelity, she lost her cool over the fact that I had agreed to be a wingman."
"Well, it is understandable."
"Is it? If I wanted to cheat on her, why would I tell her these things?"
"But if it disturbs her so much, maybe you should keep it to yourself."
"Oh, I have tried that. But when I don't share such stuff with her, she gets paranoid and keeps asking me about whom I met at the last gig, When she can turnb up for some of the gigs we have, she gets jealous about some female fans flirting with me. And then we spend more of the weekend fighting."
"That sucks."
"Yeah it does."
----------------
A few days later, Parag and I had another fight. One that made me really hate him. And this time, I sought out Dustin, took him outside the building and started venting.
"It's like he resents me for my success. For my brains. I think he just wants me to be a dumb housewife cooking for him." I started, after Dustin lit my cigarette with his Zippo.
"Come on, I'm sure he is better than that."
"Is he? Do you know what happened today? We both got our midterm results. I aced it. He got a C. Instead of congratulating me, he made snide remarks about my A!"
"What kind of remarks?"
"He said, and I quote 'well, if I were as hot as you, I could get straight A's too.' What the fuck? I slogged my ass off preparing for the midterms."
"I know you did. I saw how late you left every night last week." Dustin said, exhaling smoke.
"And when I got upset about it, he accused me of being selfish. Said I was more interested in rubbing my A in his face than consoling him over his C. Why the fuck should I console him when I know the grade he got was because of a console... a video game console!" I said, upset.
"Good one!"
"I was not trying to make a joke!" I snarled.
"Sorry!" Dustin raised his hand in an apology.
"What's wrong with men? Why are they so difficult to date?"
"I know they are. Which is why I date only women!" Dustin said and smiled.
I glared at Dustin in half anger and half amusement. He maintained a smile on his face. Finally, I burst out laughing at his silly joke. He joined in, and we laughed for almost a minute.
"I am sorry. So sorry." Dustin said. "I didn't mean to make jokes."
"It's okay." I said.
"It's just that.....well..... I'm a little high."
"You're what?????" I said in shock.
"I am high. On weed. I took a couple of tokes from this joint earlier." Dustin said, taking a half burnt joint out of his cigarette box.
"Dustin! Are you insane? You could get fired!"
"Nah, they don't do drug testing at universities. One of the reasons I love this job."
"Still...."
"Do you smoke weed?"
"Umm...no." I said. The tentativeness in my voice was obvious.
"That's not a definite No."
"Okay, what I mean is I don't smoke weed now. Now that I am in America. Parag and I used to do it occasionally back in India during our college days. But here, well..." I shrugged, "I don't know if the risk is worth it in case I get caught and deported. Also, I don't know where to get it."
"I have some right here!" Dustin said, offering me the joint.
"Dustin! Put it away!" I said, looking around in panic. "Someone could see us."
"Come on! Just take a hit. It'll get rid of all this stress you've been under."
I stared at the joint for a moment and almost took it. But then I shook my head.
"No. I have to go back to the department. They may realize I am high. And smell it on me."
"Have some tictacs. That's what I do!" Dustin said, taking out a box of tictacs from his pocket and rattling them.
"No. They could still guess I am high." I said. "Please put the joint away! You'll get us in trouble!"
Dustin put the joint back in the cigarette pack and put it in his pocket.
"Tell you what. When are you going home tonight?"
"Same time as usual. 7 or 8 pm." I said.
"Hang around till 9. That's when my shift ends. I'll drop you home and let you have a couple of hits."
"I don't know Dustin...." I said, fighting the temptation to get high again after almost a year.
"Do they test grad students for drugs?"
"No."
"So? What's the harm? You said you've done it before."
I considered his offer and realized that there indeed was no harm in taking a couple of hits. God knows I could use it, with all the shit that had gone down with Parag.
"Okay fine. 9 pm?"
"Yup. Meet me at the north parking deck."
----------------
A few hours later, it was 9 pm and I was waiting at the exit of the north parking deck. A couple of cars went by before a beaten down Ford Pinto stopped next to me.
"Get in!" Dustin said.
I opened the passenger door and got in the car. Dustin's eyes looked red. He had probably been smoking more of the weed in the meantime.
"Dustin, are you okay to drive?" I asked, worried.
"Oh yeah. I am fine."
"Maybe I should drive." I said.
"Relax! I have driven in much worse shape with no accidents." Dustin said and joined the traffic. "Now, where do you live?"
"East Poplar Ave."
"And we're a go!"
I sat in silence, praying to all the gods I could recall as Dustin drove us through the bumpy and crowded South Jersey roads. After a few minutes, I felt more at ease. He did indeed seem to have a handle on driving while high. Or should I say jughandle, since we were in South Jersey? Sorry, couldn't resist that pun!
Twenty minutes later, Dustin stopped the car outside my apartment. He reached into his pocket, took out the cigarette pack, and produced a joint from it. He looked around to make sure no one was walking by and lit the joint. He took a big puff, held it in for 20 seconds or so and exhaled. The smell of marijuana filled the car. He stretched his hand towards me, offering me the joint. I took a small toke, inhaled it, and held it in. The herb smoke seared my throat as it went down. I kept it in for about ten seconds and exhaled, coughing lightly.
"Fuck, that's strong!" I said, my eyes watering up slightly.
"Yup! Hydroponic and shit!" Dustin said and took another puff.
I felt this weed take effect a lot faster than the weed in India. My head felt light and I felt relief sweeping over me. When Dustin offered me the joint again, I took it and this time took a longer drag. Yes, this was some good strong weed, I thought to myself. Dustin and I both took about 5 hits each and the joint ran out.
"That is good! So good!" I said happily.
"It is not un-good." Dustin said and started giggling.
I joined in and we giggled for a while. The weed was now really starting to take effect.I felt the insides of the car gyrate a bit.
"Hey!" Dustin said. "You wanna hear some of my band's music?"
"I would love it!"
Dustin pressed a couple of buttons on his car's CD player and music combined with smoke to fill up the car. The song was about the bat mitzvah of some girl named Sarah. At first it seemed random, but then as I listened carefully, I could read between the lines.
"It's not about a bat mitzvah at all!" I said "It's about being in love with two people!"
"Exactly!" Dustin said, and raised his palm. I high-fived him.
The next song was about how the hero wanted soft-boiled eggs but got hard-boiled eggs instead. Another song was about jellybeans of different color. The next song was about the difference between goat cheese and regular cheese. I read profound hidden meanings into all those songs that I now forget. But Dustin and I were happily listening to the songs and discussing the subtext. This went on for about half an hour, although considering how high we were, it seemed like several hours.
"I should go. I have an early meeting tomorrow." I said.
"Okie-doke!" Dustin said and nodded.
"Thanks for the weed." I said.
"Thanks for the company." he said.
I got out of the car and started walking towards my apartment building. The walk to the main entrance, about 100 feet usually takes half a minute or so, but in my current state, it seemed like ten minutes. I got to the door and turned around. Dustin's car was still there. Silent. He had not started it. I stood there waiting for him to leave. But the car stayed silent. I don't know how long I stood there. It seemed like a long time, but must have been only a couple of minutes. I then saw Dustin get out of the driver's side and get into the back seat. That puzzled me. I made the seemingly long walk back to the car and peeped into the back seat.
Dustin was lying down with his eyes closed. I knocked on the window and he opened his eyes and rolled down the window.
"Hey Anar!"
"Hey Dustin.... what's up? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just....well....a little too high to drive. So I'm just gonna spend the night in my car here."
"What????"
"If I drive now, I could get into an accident. Or worse, pulled over! I'll be okay just sleeping in the back."
I stared at him and thought about something for a while.
"Dustin." I finally said. "Don't be silly. You don't need to sleep in the car. Come upstairs to my apartment. You can sleep on the couch."
"Oh no, it's fine. I have slept in my car lots of times!" Dustin said.
"Shhhhh!" I said putting my finger on my lips. "Come upstairs right now!":
"Okay...." Dustin said and got out of the car. He quietly followed me to my apartment building and then up the stairs.
I opened the door of my apartment and let Dustin in. It was just past 10 pm on a school night. Obviously, both my goody-two-shoes roommates were in their room studying.
"There's the couch. Make yourself comfortable." I said to Dustin. He rushed to the couch and collapsed on it. Within a few seconds, he was snoring. I guessed smoking weed all day will do that to you. I myself was feeling rather high, but wasn't close to passing out yet.
"What is this?" one of my roommates said, standing at the door of their bedroom. The other was standing next to her, both staring in horror at Dustin.
"A friend of mine. He isn't feeling well. I asked him to sleep on the couch tonight."
"Are you mad?" the other one hissed. "Some strange man in our apartment with the three of us?"
"I told you, he's a friend of mine. It'll be fine." I said walking towards my room.
"This is not acceptable, Anar." she said.
"Yeah, well, then you wake him up and kick him out." I said and slammed the door behind me. I was not going to let those stuck-up bitches ruin my high. I opened my laptop, started a playlist of my favorite songs, and lay down on the bed. I am not sure when exactly I fell asleep.
-----------------
The next day, there was an almighty row. Quite unwarranted, I felt. Dustin woke up well before dawn and was gone before either me or my roommates woke up. But that didn;t stop them from bitching and moaning to me about it all morning until I left for school.
"How dare you bring a man into the house without asking us?"
"What if he had raped you? What if he had raped us?"
"What will other people say?"
"We were so scared we couldn't sleep all night."
"Is he your boyfriend? We thought you had a boyfriend in North Carolina?"
"Only characterless women bring guys home like this."
"We put up with your smoking and your eating meat, but this is too much."
All this is just a small sample of what my roommates bombarded me with. I argued back, reminding them that I pay half the rent, and I had as much right to this apartment as they did. I also reminded them that this wasn't small town India, so they had better stop behaving like two fuddy duddies. And I said a lot of things, throwing their insults back at them in equal measure. But by the time I left the apartment for school, I was regretting the whole thing. I still knew I was right in inviting Dustin to sleep on the couch instead of his car. But I didn't need this extra aggravation.
I got to school and immersed myself in my coursework and research. It was a particularly busy day for me, and even when I ran into Dustin, I just made small talk and left. He thanked me for letting me spend the night on the couch, and I told him it was no bother.
That night, Parag called. He started off by apologizing about the way he had behaved. He assured me he was proud of my achievements and admitted that he felt jealous that he couldn't keep up. But, he said, he would work on it, and work harder. And he promised me that he would absolutely come visit me the coming weekend. Pretty soon, we were professing our renewed love to each other. That out of the way, I thought of telling him about the previous night.
"By the way, last night, I smoked weed." I started, making sure there was no one around in the corridor of our department.
"What!!!?? How?" Parag asked in an excited voice.
"You know that guy Dustin I told you about?"
"Your janitor rock star friend?"
"Yeah, him. He got it for me."
"Nice! You're lucky to know such people. I must make friends like that here so I can smoke weed too!"
"It was really strong and smooth. In just 5 hits, I was over the moon!"
"Great! Can he get some for us this weekend when I visit?"
"I am sure he can! I'll ask him when I meet him." I said. "But it led to a fight."
Then I told Parag about how Dustin was in no shape to drive home so I invited him to sleep on the couch. And how my roommates gave me hell for it. Parag was very understanding, and agred that my roommates had been total bitches.
"This weekend, when I come, we should totally make out in front of them to make them angrier." Parag suggested.
"Oooh, great idea!"
With that, we ended our conversation. And I got back to studying, relieved that all was well with my boyfriend.
----------------
The next day, I spent some time with Dustin, smoking outside the building. Just cigarettes, not weed. He did offer me weed, but I told him to save it for the weekend when Parag visited. He told me that Vicky was coming over on Saturday as well, so maybe we could go on a couple of double dates over the weekend. I told him that sounded like a great idea.
The day after, I got back another midterm. In this one, I did quite badly, a C. I was distraught, because I had spent hours and hours studying for it. Worked really hard. And yet, I had scored a C. Even worse, I felt the course was getting harder, so I dreaded what might happen in the final exam. I tried calling Parag to vent about it, but he told me he was busy. He was working extra hard to finish his studying and research so he could come meet me, so I did not mind. I tried to seek out Dustin instead, but he was busy helping the crew wax the floors, so he did not get time to talk to me.
By the time Friday rolled around, I was a bit of a wreck, stressing about my crappy midterm. But I was relieved that at least I would get to spend the weekend with my boyfriend. His bus was to leave at 10 pm, so I called him at 8 to make sure he was packed and ready to go. It went to voicemail. I figured he was busy, and went back to studying. Half an hour later, he hadn't called me back yet, so I called him again. It went to voicemail again. I left him a message asking him to call me back.
Another hour went by. it was now 9:30. Still no call back, I was now getting testy. He should've been on his way to the bus stop by now. I tried to call him again. This time, it rang a few times and was finally answered.
"Parag, where the fuck are you?" I said. "I hope you're on your way."
"No, I am not. Listen Anar...." he said in a low voice I could barely hear.
"What? You'll miss your bus. Where are you?"
"I am at...."
He started saying and then I heard a female voice say softly in the background,
"Someone is coming! I hear footsteps..... who's on the phone?"
"It's my girlfriend."
"Hang up! Hang up!" the female voice said and the call ended.
What! The! Fuck!
I tried to process what I had just heard and called Parag back. It wasn't answered. I tried to call him again. Again, voicemail.
I started feeling rage build up as I replayed the phone call in my mind. He admitted he wasn't on his way. A female voice in the background asked who he was talking to, and that someone was coming. When he told her it was me on the phone, she made him hang up. And before and after, Parag was refusing to answer the phone.
I needed someone to talk me down and tell me I was being paranoid. I ran downstairs to look for Dustin. I knew his shift ended at 10 pm tonight and he spent the last half hour mopping the lobby.
"I need to talk to you right now!" I said, my voice quivering. Dustin looked at my face and figured out something was horribly wrong.
"Are you okay, Anar? What's wrong?" he asked in a concerned voice.
"I think my boyfriend...." I started crying as the words came out, "is cheating on me."
"What?" Dustin stepped closer and put a hand on my shoulder. By now I was all but bawling. I was glad that the lobby was almost empty. But there were still a couple of students milling about, and they started staring at me.
"Shush!" Dustin noticed others staring and led me towards a side door. We stepped outside to the spot where we usually smoked. Luckily that spot was completely deserted. Blubbering through my tears, I told Dustin about the phone call.
"You know...that doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating on you." he said.
"Then....what.....could....it....mean?" I said, still crying.
"I don't know. But.... well..." Dustin said, trying to figure out a way to stop my flow of tears. "Please stop crying. Let's figure it out."
But my tears refused to stop. I kept crying and repeating, "He is cheating on me, he is cheating on me" over and over.
"Okay, listen." Dustin said. "You stay here. Let me get my car keys and take you home. You need to calm down."
And he ran inside the building. I stood there, face in my hands, crying. Dustin was back with his keys. Usually when he left, he changed from his janitor's coveralls into street clothes. But in the hurry to get me home, he was still in his coverall. Which was just as well, because as he wrapped an arm around me and led me to the parking lot, my tears and some snot messed up the front and sleeve of his coveralls.
A few minutes later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of Dustin's car. I had calmed down enough by then. The tears had stopped. I wiped them off. We drove in silence for a while.
"I left my backpack in the department." I said.
"Do you wanna go back for it?"
"No, it's fine."
Silence for a while more.
"You know, we were never right for each other." I said.
"Come on! Don't say that!"
"I am serious! Now that he's cheating on me, I see it so clearly."
I spent the next ten minutes or so venting about Parag and his flaws. How selfish he was, and decided that whatever he wanted was the best for us. How he was insecure about my being smarter than him. How he never seemed to be working on the relationship. It always had to be me. I was telling Dustin the details of one of our earlier fights when he pulled up next to my apartment.
"Okay, we're here. Let's go inside and talk."
I got out of the car and then just stood there. Dustin looked confused.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't want to go in there, Dustin. Those bitches are in there."
"What bitches?"
"Those stupid annoying roommates of mine. I don't think I can deal with them right now, especially if I take you with me. I told you how bitchy they were the time you stayed over."
"Yeah. So where do you wanna go?"
"I don't know. Just....some place we can talk. I need to unload so much stuff. Clear my head. Figure things out."
"Well.... there's a quiet bar I know on Cedar where we could sit and talk."
"That sounds good. I really need a drink or ten right now."
We got back in the car and I checked my cellphone to see if Parag had called back. Nope, he hadn't. I thought of calling him again, but decided against it. Maybe his floozie would stop him from answering again.
"Hey Anar, would you mind if we stopped by my place real quick?" Dustin asked. "I'd prefer to change into something else."
"Oh shit, you're still in your coveralls. I have been so self-absorbed, I didn't notice it at all. Don't you usually change in school?"
"Yeah, but you were....you know.....it could wait. I could go back to school but my place is closer and is on the way to the bar."
"Sure, no problem. In fact I should wash my face as well."
Ten minutes later, Dustin pulled into the backyard of a small multi-apartment building. His apartment was on the 2nd floor. He opened the door and I found myself in his living room. Roomy and modestly but tastefully done. Not like Parag's apartment in North Carolina which was always a mess.
"The bathroom is that way. I'll get changed." Dustin said and went into his bedroom.
In the bathroom, I washed my face. I never wore too much make-up, but my tears had messed up whatever little I did. I blew my nose, washed my face again, and wiped it with a towel.
I walked out into the living room. Dustin had changed into jeans and a Decemberists t-shirt. He was standing by the window, lighting a joint. He took a drag and said,
"Just a couple for the road. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all." I said. "In fact....I think I could use a hit or two myself."
"Are you sure, Anar? You are already emotionally disturbed. I don't know if weed..."
"If anything, it'll cheer me up. It always does."
I walked up to him and took a hit. Ah, good stuff. We both took a couple of hits each and were on our way out when Dustin's cellphone rang.
"It's Vicky." he said, and walking towards the bedroom, "This won't take more than a few minutes. Have a seat. I'll be right back."
He close the door of the bedroom behind him. I walked to the couch and sat down. It was a comfortable suede couch with a matching loveseat. I felt the weed taking its effect on me and I felt a lot more relaxed than before. I looked around the living room. On the far side wall was a painting, or rather the print of a painting. It looked like a Jackson Pollock. I think it was the Number 5. I got up and walked to the painting and stared at it. Wow, what a painting to explore when you're high. I began seeing so many different shapes and figures in there, even Jackson Pollock would've called me insane. I stared and stared at it, and then pulled myself away.
Another wall was covered with what seemed like an intricate collage of movie poster and blown up band album covers. I spotted bits from the posters of Scarface, a couple of James Bond movies, Sound of Music, Inception, Roman Holiday....and album covers from Coldplay, Motorhead, Led Zeppelin, Sex Pistols...... I was able to count at least 20 movies and an equal number of albums.
I turned around and looked at the bedroom door. It was still closed. I wondered how long it had been since Dustin was on the phone. It seemed like I had been in the room for over half an hour, but I was high, so couldn't be sure. My eye fell on the Pollock again, and I was about to get drawn into it once more, so I looked away. And saw a couple of guitars in the corner. One was a bass guitar, another a regular electric guitar, and the third was a Spanish guitar.
I picked up the Spanish guitar, and walked to the couch. I had always wanted to take guitar lessons, but never gotten around to it. I held the guitar with both hands, trying to mimic the pose I had seen musicians take, and strummed at the strings. It made a sweet sound. I tried it a few more times and felt happy at myself.
"You're holding it wrong."
I looked up and saw Dustin walk out of the bedroom. He was smiling.
"You're just holding the guitar against your body. You need to rest it on your left knee."
"Like this?" I asked.
"Yup. Now that left hand. That grip should be more like a closed claw."
"Like this?"
"That look like a claw trying to break the strings. You have to gently touch them."
"Like this?"
"Wow, Anar, have you never held a guitar in your life?"
Dustin came and sat sideways next to me on the couch. He put his left arm around me and held my hand with his. He moved my fingers into the correct position on the guitar.
"Yes, that's the way. Now your right hand."
He took my right hand in his and positioned it over the strings. As he did it, his goatee tickled against my ear and I giggled.
"Okay, now keep those fingers of your left hand there. Yes, like that." he said pressing my fingers. "And with your right hand, yes, now strum the strings lightly."
And a beautiful note rang out.
"Hey! That was do!"
"And here" he said, moving my left fingers again, "is re", and then "fa", "so", "la" "ti"
I smiled at the ti and paused, Dustin's arms still around me. Then I heard a sniff, and instinctively turned back to see he had just smelled my hair. I looked into his eyes, and saw a gentle hunger. A tenderness combined with desire I had never seen in his eyes before.
He lowered his face slightly and kissed me on my cheek. Then a kiss on my neck, sending tiny shivers down my body. And then realizing that his actions weren't unwelcome, he brought his lips close to mine and kissed me. I felt the soft hair of his goatee rub against my chin, an unfamiliar sensation since I had only kissed clean-shaven guys so far. I kissed back, as tenderly as he was.
There was a soft thump as both our hands let go of the guitar and it fell to the floor. Without breaking the kiss, I turned my body so I was facing Dustin. He moved his left hand to the back of my head and pulled me closer. After a while, his tongue slowly probed my mouth, and I met it with my own tongue. His right arm went around my waist, and he pulled my body close to his. We were locked in a tight embrace, kissing each other passionately.
The kiss continued, and I loved it. It made feel loved, desired, and wanted. Dustin was a really good kisser. Even his goatee felt nice against my face. Finally he broke the kiss and looked into my eyes again.
"Anar.....I...."
"Shut up!" I said and pulled him back into a kiss.
The second kiss had gone on for a minute or so when I felt my left hand go under his t-shirt. It wasn't something I had planned. It just happened on auto-pilot. That's how Parag and I always made out. Dustin responded by putting his right hand inside my t-shirt, in the back. His hand moved slowly upwards, tracing circles all around my back and turning me on. His hand stopped right at the clasp of my bra.
He broke the kiss again, one in which we had exchanged most of each others saliva, and asked,
"How stoned are you?"
I heard a hint of doubt in his voice. I replied,
"The right amount."
He smiled and resumed kissing me. His hand deftly unclasped my bra and then moved to my chest. He fondled my breasts under my bra and t-shirt even as we kept kissing. My left hand was under his t-shirt feeling his rock hard stomach and toned chest. I moved it lower and felt his crotch. There was definitely an erection there. I moved my hand back up to his chest.
But once I had gone south of the border, he decided he could do the same, and stay there. His hand moved lower from my boobs to the waist of my jeans and unbuttoned them. He then slid down the zip and put his fingers inside my panties.
"MMMMMMMMMM!!!" I moaned without breaking the kiss and his fingers deftly found my clit and started teasing it. I squirmed at his touch. This made him lose the spot and he searched for it again and found it again.
Meanwhile, I took my hands back to the south of the border and unbuttoned his jeans. But before I could progress any further, Dustin broke the kiss. He sat back for a bit, and then pulled my t-shirt up, so that it and my bra were rolled up under my armpit and over my boobs. He then grabbed my right breast with my left hand, and put his mouth on my left breast. His right hand went back inside my panties and started playing with my clit again.
I was now being stimulated in my most sensitive areas - my clit and my nipples. I felt his goatee tickle my breast as he sucked on my nipple and gently bit it a few times before tongueing it. I put my head on the backrest of the couch and started moaning even louder. My right hand was now on his back and my left hand was on his head. Dustin's right hand would take the occasional break from pleasuring my clit to pulling my jeans and panties down, one tug from each edge. In a few minutes, he had the jeans and panties down to lower thigh, and my pussy was now as completely exposed as my boobs.
Dustin sat back and surveyed the scene. Me laid out on his couch with my tshirt under my armpits and my jeans around my knees. He smiled and took his t-shirt off revealing what my fingers had detected was true. He had a well toned moderately hairy chest, and visible abs. He then got back to playing with my nipples with his tongue and my clit with his fingers.
All my senses get heightened whenever I am stoned, so Dustin's work on my clit began to have an effect a lot sooner than usual. In a few minutes, I felt an orgasm approach and as it hit me, I shuddered and instinctively turned away from him, writhing in pleasure. Dustin kept a hand around my waist and started kissing my ass which was now exposed to him.
"Do you want to go to the bedroom?" Dustin gently asked me. I nodded, still shivering from the after-effects of my orgasm.
Dustin stood up and offered me a hand. I held it and got up. My jeans and panties were now bunched around my ankles. I stepped out of them and followed Dustin as he led me into the bedroom, naked except for my t-shirt and bra, which had now fallen back into place. Dustin was naked from the waist above and his jeans were unzipped, but still on.
The bedroom was dark when we walked into it. Dustin sat me on the edge of the bed and walked to the nightstand and turned on a lamp. Dim yellow light filled the room. He then opened the nightstand drawer and took out a condom. I stared at him as he then pulled down his pants and his underwear, and stood there totally naked. Clutching the condom in his hand, he walked around the bed until he was in front of me. And for the first time, I saw his erect penis.
It was roughly the same length as Parag's, about 6 inches. But its girth was about twice as much. And it was circumcised. I was wondering if I was expected to take it in my mouth when Dustin put the condom on the bed next to me, and then pulled my t-shirt and bra off, leaving me completely naked, like him. He then pushed me back so I was lying down on the bed and got on top of me. He kissed me for a while as he played with my boobs. As he did that, his erect dick, slightly moist from precum, rubbed against my stomach and thighs.
We made out like that naked, him on top of me, for about 5 minutes. My cunt was completely wet, in preparation of what was about to happen next. Finally, Dustin got up on his knees and reached for the condom. He held it in his hand, threw me a look that said, "are you sure?". I nodded, playing with a lock of my hair.
He tore open the wrapper, and rolled the condom onto his dick. I opened my thighs as he got between them. He then leaned forward, held my knees up, and gently started entering me.
"Aaaaah!" I cried out in some discomfort and pain even though I was very wet down there. His dick was thicker than an I had had before and my cunt took some time getting used to it.
"Sorry, I'll be gentle." Dustin said, and withdrew his dick slowly and pushed it a little again, very gently.
A few more thrusts and my cunt started accommodating his thick dick, although it still hurt a little. In a minute or so, it was fully in, and he then started fucking me. I felt contented at getting fucked after almost a month.
"Mmmmm...yeah....hmmm..." I started moaning as Dustin's dick sent waves of pleasure through my cunt and my body.
Dustin's pace was gentle at first, but he slowly kept increasing it. As time went by, the pain in my cunt subsided and was replaced by pure pleasure. He then grabbed hold of my boobs and started fucking me faster. My moans and grunts grew more frequent as well.
We had been fucking for about 10 minutes when I heard a ringtone. It was my cellphone which was in the living room. Dustin froze for a moment and then withdrew his dick, jumping off the bed and running to the living room. In a few seconds, he was back with my cellphone in his hand.
"It says Parag." he said, handing it to me as he sat down on the bed next to me.
I took the phone and hit the end call button and threw it to the side. I then pushed Dustin so he was on his back and got on top of him. I put my knees around his sides and lowered myself onto his still erect dick.
"Mmmm." Dustin moaned, put his hands on my waist and pushed me down harder, fully entering me once again. I put my palms on the bed above his shoulders and started riding him. My boobs swung like melons above his face and he licked and bit as we resumed our fucking. Dustin put both his hands on my buttcheeks and grabbed them, pushing with my motion as I rode him.
A couple of minutes later, my phone rang again. Without pausing our fucking, I reached for it and hit the end call button again. For good measure, I turned the ringer off as I kept riding Dustin and threw the phone on the floor.
After five minutes, Dustin pushed me on my back and got on top of me again. He started fucking me really hard and fast, and I could see from his face and the throbbing of his dick that he was about to cum. Sure enough, in a couple of minutes, he started jerking his hips and had his orgasm with a loud grunt. He then collapsed on top of me, and started kissing me. We kissed for about two minutes and his condom-covered dick slipped out of my cunt.
Dustin got up and rolled the condom off. He threw it in a trashcan by the bed. I was laying there with a feeling of exhaustion sweeping over me. It had been a little over 20 minutes of fucking. Parag's average was 10 so it was more than I was used to. Plus I had had a long day and taken a few hits of weed. And it was half past midnight already.
Dustin got back on the bed between my legs and lowered his head. I felt his tongue flick my clit and immediately, I closed my legs.
"Just....taking care of you." he said, confused.
"Thanks, but I'd like to just go to sleep."
I crawled towards the head of the bed, put my head on a pillow and closed my eyes. I started drifting into sleep, vaguely aware that Dustin had turned the light off, and had joined me on the bed with his arms around me. Soon I was asleep.
-----------
I awoke in darkness to some motion. It took me a few seconds to register why I was naked in a strange bed. The radio clock said 2:43 AM. I turned around to see what motion had woken me up. It was Dustin, jacking off his erect dick. As soon as he noticed I was awake, he stopped. And pulled me towards him and kissed me. I kissed him back and we made out for a few minutes. His dick was erect-er than ever. So I rolled over to the nightstand, opened the drawer I had seen him open earlier, and took out a condom.
This time he started by fucking me from behind, laying down on our sides like spooning. he then made me get on my hands and knees and fucked me doggy style, spanking my butt a few times as he did so. Then reverse cowgirl for a while until it was back to doggy style, during which I had an orgasm. He ended by cumming into the condom inside me in a missionary position again. By the time we fell asleep again, it was 3:31 AM. He'd been fucking me for almost 45 minutes.
-----------
The next time, I awoke to the rattle of curtains opening and early morning light flooding in. I half-opened my eyes, and saw it was just 6:20 AM. I saw Dustin was fully dressed, but I was still too sleepy. I turned away from the window, covered my head with the blanket, and tried to go back to sleep.
But Dustin sat on the bed next to me, and poked me on the shoulder.
"Hey Anar. Good morning."
"Let me sleep!" I said in an irritated voice, taking the blanket off my head and throwing him a dirty look.
"I would've but see, the thing is...... this is so awkward....."
"WHAT???" I have never been a morning person.
"Vicky just called that she'd left from New York and will be here in an hour. And so well..."
"So you need me gone." I said propping myself up on my elbows. Dustin stared at my breasts for a few seconds before answering.
"Kinda...well... you know, I feel bad about this, but she had already made plans to come down and...."
"Well, she IS your girlfriend." I said, getting up off the bed.
"The situation is a bit messed up." Dustin said as I picked up my bra and t-shirt off the floor and put them on one by one. "But I really liked what happened last night."
"Where are my jeans?" I said, naked from waist down, looking around the room. I found my cellphone but not my bottom garments.
"I think they're in the living room."
I walked to the living room and Dustin followed me, still talking
"Once she is gone, we should talk. Maybe Monday night?"
I stayed silent as I put on my panties and then my jeans.
"Could you call me a cab please?"
"Cab? Don't be silly. I'll drop you off."
"No, don't bother. You need to rid your apartment of any trace of me and prepare it for Vicky!" I said, unnecessarily caustic.
Dustin's face immediately wore such a dejected look that I felt bad for saying it.
"Please Anar, let me drop you home."
"Okay, fine."
Five minutes later, I was in his car, checking my phone. I had 18 missed calls from Parag through the night. I decided I'd call him back later. I just stared out the window for a while. Finally, we reached my apartment.
"Let's talk Monday." Dustin said reaching across for a kiss. I pulled away and said,
"Maybe."
"Whenever you're up to it, Anar." he said.
I opened the door, put one foot out and put into words what I had been thinking the whole time.
"This is new territory for me, Dustin."
He looked at me confused.
"Being the tramp who slept with someone else's man."
"Anar...." Dustin said in a plaintive voice, but I continued,
"Being the other woman who is kicked out early morning to keep it all hush hush."
Dustin looked at me with a dejected face.
"It's not your fault, Dustin. Don't make that face."
I slammed the door shut and walked to the apartment.
I entered the apartment and was relieved that my roommates were still sleeping in their room. I did not need to deal with their questions about where I had spent the night. I went to the bedroom, change into a bathrobe and went to the bathroom to take a long shower.
Throughout the shower, I mulled over the previous night's events, especially how fast they had unfolded. Even when I entered Dustin's apartment the previous night, I had no inkling that I even felt any sort of attraction to him, forget the idea of sleeping with him. But as I thought back to the time I had spent with him, there probably had been some sort of special rapport between us, if not chemistry. I had always found him easy to talk to, interesting, kind, and a great friend. But maybe I had subconsciously felt something more, something I had refused to even recognize because I was still convinced that I was still in love with Parag.
But once I got an inkling of Parag cheating on me, and ditching me for the umpteenth time, maybe my mind, unshackled thanks to the weed, had recognized the attraction and given in to the moment. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying it was all weed or even mostly weed that led to last night's events. I don't believe weed, unlike alcohol, can make you do stupid things that you later regret. But it does make you think more clearly. Or make you think you're thinking more clearly.
So...what exactly had last night meant? Was it just a one night thing, meant to relieve the stress of a tough couple of weeks? Or did I really feel something special towards Dustin? And what was I to him? Just an attractive woman who ended up being in a vulnerable state and giving in to his charms? Or was I something more? He had, of course, shunted me out in a hurry because Vicky was coming.
Questions. Questions.
I turned the shower off, dried myself and returned to my bedroom. The hot shower had made me sleepy again. So I just threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and crawled under the sheets. Within minutes, I was asleep.
I woke up at noon, and checked my phone which was still on silent mode. Five more missed calls from Parag, and three voicemails, all of which I assumed were from him. I knew I had to talk to him eventually. There's no way this could continue. I had to tell him about Dustin, confront him about his woman on the side, and break up.
But I needed some coffee first. I went to the kitchen, brewed a tall cup, and with it sat down in front of the TV. My roommates were not around, and I assumed they had gone for their weekly grocery shopping trip. I flipped the channels and froze when I saw the headline on one of the news channels.
"NC Mall Gunman Stand-off."
There was a reporter in front of a mall talking to a group of people, one of whom was positively Parag. What the fuck is this, I thought to myself and turned the volume up.
'We're talking to some of the shoppers who were holed up in the mall for several hours last night when a gunman went on a shooting rampage in a college town in North Carolina last night. Fourteen people were shot, two of whom are in critical condition, but thanks to the alert mall security, there have been no deaths so far. Here we have a group of people who have been released by the police after preliminary debriefing and first aid. They were all holed up in different parts of the mall as the gunman made rounds for several hours until a SWAT team shot him dead.'
What the fuck?
'Yes ma'am, you were in the jewelry store?' she asked a young white brunette standing next to a blonde man.
'Yes, My husband and I were in a jewelry store on the 3rd floor at about 8 PM when I heard gunshots. Immediately, I feared the worst. I rushed out of the store with some other people and saw pandemonium. Most people ran down the stairs, and we were about to as well, when the gunman started firing shots in the air. We ran into the corridor where a mall cop directed us into one of their offices.'
'And how many of you were there?'
'About twenty of us.'
'And what happened next.'
'We closed the solid wooden door, turned the lights off and stayed silents. There was still sound of sporadic gunfire. The mall cop asked everyone to stay completely silent, and he radioed for help. My husband and I were really scared.'
All the time, I was listening to everything with shock, and staring at Parag, who was a few feet away from the couple, looking very shaken. The reporter then thrust her mike in front of Parag's face.
'And you sir, were you also in that office?'
'Yes, I had gone to buy my girlfriend a gift from the jewelry store, and I also heard gunshots.' I heard my boyfriend say. 'We all went to the office and hid out there.'
'For how long?'
'Almost midnight, so about four hours. We kept hearing random gunshots through the night. The gunman was obviously walking around the mall, searching for people to kill. At one point, he passed by right outside our door. But we all stayed silent and he didn't realize anyone was in there.'
'Lucky escape. And you miss'
The reporter turned the mic to another woman next to Parag.
I ran to the bedroom and got my phone. Immediately I dialed Parag. It went to voicemail at once. Called him again. Voicemail again. I then called my voice inbox to listen to Parag's messages.
"1st message, sent Saturday at 12:15 AM Hey darling, it's me. You must be worried about why I haven't been answering your calls. Well, I don't know if you heard about the gunman on a rampage in a mall in my town, but I was in there. Hiding in a room. With the phone on silent. We were all told to not answer any phones and stay silent, so I couldn't call you back. And the one time I answered, people around me made me hang up at once. It was for the best because we're pretty sure the gunman was outside our door. Anyway, it's all fine now. I am okay. I am just sitting in a police ambulance, while they check me out. But I am not hurt in any way. Just shaken. Talk to you soon. Will try calling again soon."
"2nd message, sent Saturday at 2:25 AM Hi Anar. Ummm haven't heard back from you. Maybe you're sleeping. Maybe you thought I bailed out again, so aren't answering my calls. Maybe you haven't heard about the gunman. Anyway, call me back as soon as you get this. And I promise, I am not bailing out of the trip. I will catch the next bus I can. I am supposed to talk to the police and their doctors yet. It's a big group."
"3rd message, sent Saturday 9:11 AM Hi honey, it's me again. I don't know why you haven't called me back yet. I wonder if you've lost your phone or something. Anyway, if you get this, I am at the Charlotte airport. I decided that surviving a crazy killer warrants spending money on air tickets instead of bus. My plane is boarding soon. I will be landing at Newark and will see you in a few hours. By the way, my phone is almost out of charge so it might not turn on when I land at Newark. If so, I'll just see you at home."
I sank on the bed in shock. My poor little baby had gone through such an ordeal. And I was..... oh my god! Suddenly the words from the previous night's phone call came back to me.
"Parag, where the fuck are you?" I had said. "I hope you're on your way."
"No, I am not. Listen Anar...." he had said in a low voice I could barely hear.
"What? You'll miss your bus. Where are you?" I had said angrily
"I am at...."
Then the soft female voice in the background
"Someone is coming! I hear footsteps..... who's on the phone?"
"It's my girlfriend."
"Hang up! Hang up!" the woman saying in a panicky voice.
It all made sense. It wasn't some floozie he was cheating on me with. It must have been one of the hostages asking him to hang up when the gunman was outside the door. And I had assumed he had....and then I had....oh god, what had I done!
That's when there was a knock on the door. I ran and opened it. Parag was standing there, with a suitcase in his hand. I flung myself at him and kissed him. He kissed me back hungrily.
"Oh sweetie, I am so so so sorry." I said, between kisses. "The phone was on silent and I didn't check it til a while back."
"I missed you! I love you!" Parag said in between kisses.
"I love you too, baby."
Lip-locked, we made our was to the bedroom, and Parag threw me on the bed. He bolted the door shut and then jumped on top of me, taking off his shirt. I had stripped down to my undies already, and he pulled them off, and mounted me.
"Ummmm....." I said in pleasure, trying my best not to remember the much thicker dick that had been inside me
"Oh I love you, Anar" he said, fucking me at a rapid pace. I wasn't fully wet yet, but for some reason, it didn't hurt.
"I love you too, Parag." I said, hugging him tight. His chest rubbed against my boobs and I looked at them, hoping that Dustin hadn't left any hickeys there. I was glad to note he hadn't.
After about two minutes of fucking, Parag withdrew his cock from my cunt and spurted a lot of semen all over my stomach and boobs. Parag said he hated condoms and always preferred pulling out. The pill gave me headaches so I couldn't take it. So this is how sex between us always ended. Well, sometimes, he came in my mouth and I swallowed.
He then collapsed on the bed next to me.
"Oh god! I was hoping I wouldn't cum that fast, but it's been so long."
"It's okay sweetie." I said, picking up his cum from my boobs with my fingers, and eating it like I always did. "You have had an exhausting time."
"Shit, it was so scary, Anar. I kept thinking of you, fearing that I'd never get to see you again." he said and started kissing me. We kissed for a couple of minutes, him fondling my boobs.
"I can't even imagine what you've been through, sweetie."
"It was hell! Luckily, the mall cop we had holed up in the room with us was a former police officer, and he kept us all calm and safe."
"I am glad!" I said, and resumed kissing him.
We made out, naked for a good twenty minutes, until Parag got hard again. We went at it again. This time, he fucked me missionary style and then doggy style (which were pretty much the only two positions he tried) for about ten minutes, before shooting his seed all over my ass. We cuddled for fifteen more minutes.
"I am so sleepy." Parag said.
"Awwww, just go to sleep sweetie." I said, kissing him
"Take a nap with me." Parag said.
"Sure."
We lay there spooning. In a few minutes, Parag's gentle snores started. But I lay there awake, with Parag's hand on my boobs, trying to come to terms with everything that had happened.
I felt like shit. I deserved to feel like shit. Just on the basis of an overheard female voice over the phone, I had jumped to the stupid conclusion that Parag was cheating on me. When he was holed up in a room with two dozen other people, fearing a gunman's bullet, I was bitching about him to some other guy. And then when he called me to talk, I ignored his calls, and had sex with this other guy, Dustin, whom I had known barely a few weeks. At that moment, I felt like the skankiest and meanest bitch in the universe. I closed my eyes and tried to take a nap, but I couldn't. I just lay there, in my sleeping boyfriend's arms, feeling guilty over what I had done, and fighting back tears.
I wrestled over the decision of whether to tell him about Dustin or not. On one hand, he deserved to know the truth. Parag and I had always been completely honest with each other. We had been a loving couple for so many years. He deserved to know the truth. On the other hand, he had just been through an ordeal, the sort that can scar people psychologically for life. For god's sake, he had almost been gunned down by a nutcase! So dropping this bombshell on him, about my sleeping with someone else, would mess him up even more.
By the time he woke up three hours later, I had thought and re-thought the whole situation dozens of times, and decided about the best course of action. He woke up and started kissing me again. We kissed for a while, and then he asked.
"So what were you up to last night?"
"Well..." I paused before launching into a lie I had rehearsed in my mind. "After that phone call last night, I assumed you were cancelling the trip. I got mad. I was sure that if you called back, I'd bite your head off. So I just put the phone on silent and immersed myself into a tricky program that I had been working on. I worked on it in the department for several hours."
"Didn't you check Google News? I thought you keep doing that every hour!" Parag interjected.
"No, I was too occupied with the program. I finished working on it at about 3:30 AM, and fell asleep at the desk. In the morning, I took the bus home and slept some more. Until I woke up a few hours back, saw the news on TV, and checked your voicemails."
"Hmmm...." he said.
"I am so sorry, Parag. I feel like such a clueless bitch!"
"Hey! Hey!" he said, kissing me softly on the cheek. "Don't apologize. I can understand why you'd get mad at me. How could you know? And I have been cancelling these trips a lot. So I fully understand. There's nothing you have to feel guilty about."
He said and then started kissing me again. Oh darling, I said in my mind, I do have a LOT to feel guilty about.
Parag and I spent the day pretty much naked in my room, cuddling, making out, napping, and having sex. I was surprised at how often he got hard and wanted it. Usually, Parag could go two or maybe three times in a day or night. That day, by the time we got hungry enough to step out of the bedroom, he had ravished me six times. I wondered if it was the adrenaline rush from the previous night's events.
We got dressed and walked out of the bedroom at 9 PM. Both my roommates were in the living room, poring over their laptops. They noticed Parag and their faces lit up.
"Parag! You're here! We saw you on TV! Wow, it must have been a nightmare!"
"It was okay." Parag said modestly.
The next half hour was spent in Parag recounting his horrible experience in detail. Both my roommates listened with rapt attention, making appreciative noises along the way. I had already heard the story from him in bed, so my mind drifted to the situation I found myself in. I was thinking about what to do next when my cellphone rang. It was Dustin! I considered ignoring the call, but since ignoring calls is what had land me in this situation in the first place, I decided against it. I got up and went to the bedroom to answer the phone. Parag was so engrossed in telling his story, he barely noticed me leave.
"Dustin...." I said, after closing the door.
"Hey Anar..... " he said "is it possible for you to meet me and Vicky for coffee or drinks tonight?"
"What?"
"She...she wants to meet you."
"Meet me? Why the hell? Did you tell her?" I asked, aghast.
"No, no, of course not! But she is insisting on meeting you. I am not sure why."
"Where are you calling from?"
"From the men's room at the Korean restaurant downtown. Could you, I don't know, join us?"
"I can't, Dustin."
"Come on, Anar! Just fifteen minutes. You could give some excuse and leave after that."
"Dustin, I can't come because Parag is here."
"He's here? I thought he wasn't coming!"
"It's a long story. But he's here, and I am spending time with him."
"Get him along. We'd talked about double-dating anyway."
"Dustin! Are you crazy? Under the circumstances...." my voice trailed off.
There was silence on the other end for a few moments. Then Dustin said,
"I guess you're right. It's not my idea anyway. It's just that Vicky is really really insisting on it. And asking me all sorts of questions about you."
"Deal with your problems on your own, Dustin!"
I said and disconnected the phone. As I walked out to the living room, Parag was still talking about his night at the mall. I could see from his face that far from being traumatized, he was actually very excited by whatever had happened.
After he ended his story, he suggested that we should all go out for dinner. My roommates readily agreed. They said they had lots of questions for Parag. We went to a Chinese restaurant a few blocks away, and I felt like a third wheel while the conversation was completely dominated by Parag and his exploits. I spent the time wondering why in the world Vicky wanted to meet me. Dustin had told me she was always jealous about his female friends. But still, why insist on meeting? Did she know something?
Dinner ended and we walked home. My roommates, still overflowing with admiration, seemed like they wanted to talk more. But Parag said he was tired, so we went to the bedroom. He locked the door and then started kissing me. I kissed him back. A few minutes later, his hand slipped inside my pants.
"Parag, please, no!" I said, pushing his hand away.
"What?" he asked sounding very surprised.
"Not now. Please. Maybe tomorrow? I am really tired and sore down there." That was part of the truth. In the last 24 hours, I had been fucked 8 times. It was way more than I was used to, and I did feel a little sore down there. But I was also not in the mood. I felt like just taking a big swig of Tylenol and having a dreamless sleep.
"Come on, just a quickie!" Parag said, and put my hand on his crotch. "See how hard I am"
"Please, Parag!"
"Okay, fine!" he frowned and turned away. I changed into shorts and a t-shirt. I took that swig of Tylenol and joined him in bed. He was on his side facing away from me, still sulking. I hugged him from behind and said,
"Let's cuddle a little, okay?"
Parag said nothing. Just gave me the silent treatment for about ten minutes. I lay there, my hand around me. The Tylenol started having effect and I was starting to fall asleep with my eyes half closed, when
"You're jealous of me." I heard Parag say.
"Huh?" I opened my eyes. He pushed my hand away, and turned on his side to face me.
"You're jealous that suddenly I am the center of all the attention."
"What are you talking about, sweetie?" I hugged him again. "I love you. I am relieved and proud that you survived last night. Why would I be jealous?"
"The afternoon is when you were relieved and proud. But now that it's been a few hours, that has worn off. You saw how your roommates were focused on me, and not you. And you can't handle it. You can;t handle not being the star in this relationship."
"What????"
"Oh come on! All through dinner, you were sitting there looking as if I had actually died! Or maybe wishing I had!"
"Don't be ridiculous, Parag!"
"Ever since we started dating, whenever we meet other people, you're the apple of everyone's eye. The smart, confident, funny, pretty Anar, the supreme conversationalist. I am always just the +1 in Anar+1, not the Parag in Anar+Parag. But I never let it bother me."
"You never let it bother you?" I scoffed. "You've always bitched about it!"
"The point is, now you're getting to experience how being the +1 feels. And you can't handle it, can you? You can't let me have my fifteen minutes of fame."
"Perfect phrase." I said snarkily.
"What?" he said, taken aback.
"Fifteen minutes of fame. Do you even understand what it exactly means? Do you even know who coined it?"
"Sure...." Parag said tentatively. "Winston Churchill."
"It was coined by Andy Warhol." I said. "And it implies that EVERYONE, whether they deserve it or not, will be famous for fifteen minutes. And once the fifteen minutes run out, no one gives a damn. Like Sanjaya from American Idol."
A look of anger flashed in Parag's eyes. He stared at me for a few seconds, and then said,
"Found a way to re-assert the belief you're better than me, didn't you?"
"Huh?"
"Yeah, just reminding yourself that you're not only the smarter one and the better looking one in the relationship, but oh so worldly wise, citing obscure artists." he said. "Trying to put me in my place by showing how little I know in comparison. Anything to restore the status quo to Anar+1."
"You're so petty and insecure, Parag!"
"I'm petty? You're the one who cares less about the fact that I could've been killed and more about how you're not the star tonight."
"Of course I care about what you went through! Of course I am thankful you survived! How can you even say that?" I said, almost shrieking. And then tears filled my eyes. I turned away from him, covered my face, and started crying.
"That's your ultimate trump card in an argument." Parag said, contempt dripping from his voice. "The waterworks!"
I felt a surge of rage through my entire being. I sat up, wiped my tears off, and said,
"All this is because I asked you to wait till tomorrow morning to have sex? Here..."
I took my shorts and panties off in one swoop.
"...here, fuck me. Go on!" I said, opening my legs and gyrating my hips.
Parag stared at me, half angry and half turned on.
"Not enough? Here, I'll get completely naked!" I took off my t-shirt and bra. And then fully naked, got on my hands and knees, and thrust my ass towards Parag. "Go on, that's all you care about, isn't it? Mounting me like some wild cheap whore? Go on, do it!"
Parag just sat there.
"What're you waiting for, stud? Take me!" I said in a mock seductive voice. When he didn't respond, I turned to face him. "Maybe you want this whore to give you a blowjob first!"
I reached for his crotch to take his dick out, but he slapped my hand away. I tried it again, and he pushed me away, making me fall on the bed. He then got up, picked up a pillow and walked to the bedroom door. He opened it, turned around, and said,
"Sometimes, Anar, you can be a real cold-hearted bitch."
He stepped out and slammed the door behind him. I sat there naked, breathing heavily in rage, staring at the closed door. After what seemed like an eternity, my rage was replaced by cold anger. I put my clothes back on, and opened the door. Parag was sleeping on the couch, He saw me, and turned on his side to face away from me.
I went back to my bed and laid down. I willed myself not to cry, and closed my eyes. My head was an almighty volcano of negative emotions ranging from guilt to contempt to rage to self-pity. It took half an hour for the Tylenol's effect to resume. And I fell finally fell asleep.
--------------------
I woke up at 8:30, feeling drowsy like I always did after taking Tylenol. I noticed the other side of the bed was empty. So Parag had spent the night on the couch. I walked out of the bedroom, and saw Parag sitting on the couch with a cup of chai in his hand, talking to my two annoying roommates again.
"Good morning." Parag said politely. The roommates followed suit.
"Good morning." I said, yawning.
"There's a cup for you in the kitchen." he said.
"Thanks."
I walked to the kitchen, got my cup of chai and walked back to the living room. I saw on an easychair and listened to the conversation. They were talking about academic stuff, like advisors, assignments, internship search, and so on. I joined in, and we talked about mundane stuff for about half an hour.
"I should shower and get going." Parag said, getting up. "My return flight is at noon."
"Noon? I thought it was at 7:30 in the evening!" I said, remembering what he'd told me the previous day.
"It was. I changed it to noon." Parag said, and stared at the floor. I stayed silent.
My roommates, as dense as they are, realized they were witness to the aftermath of a disagreement, and both politely made excuses and left us alone. Parag got up and went to the bedroom. I followed him in.
"Why did you change the flight?" I asked him.
He said nothing.
"I asked you something."
Silence.
"Parag, talk to me, goddamit!"
"What do you want me to say? You've treated me really horribly."
"So you're just throwing a tantrum and leaving? To make me feel guilty?"
Parag shook his head and said,
"It's all about you. Everything in the world has to revolve around you!"
I watched him in silence as he gathered his clothes for the shower.
"Parag, please, let's not fight. Just tell me what I have to do to change the flight back to evening. I am sorry if I was a bitch. I really am."
"I have been with you long enough to know which of your apologies are genuine. This one isn't." Parag said, and walked out of the bedroom.
This was classic Parag. He always found a way to guilt trip me and make me feel like shit. Once he got upset about something, he could hold on to the grudge for days, even weeks.
He returned fifteen minutes later, got dressed, and started packing his suitcase. In the meanwhile, I had gotten angrier at him, so my initial willingness to be the first to try and make up had subsided. I sat there, playing a battle of wills, and watched him pack. Once he got done, I started changing into jeans.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Changing." I replied.
"Why?"
"To drop you off at the airport!"
"Hmpf!" he said derisively. "I'd rather you didn't. I've already called a cab."
"Okay fine." I said, sick of his stubbornness. "Then I am changing and going out." I wore a sweatshirt to go with the jeans.
Parag picked up his suitcase, looked at me for a second.
"You know what.... I wish you'd change. But change more than just your clothes. I wish you'd change what you are."
I looked at him in stunned silence. Parag could say some really hurtful things when he got angry. But this really took the cake. Did he even realize the import of what he was saying? Tears rushed to my eyes. Parag seemed slightly taken aback. But he was too stubborn to take it back.
"Bye Anar." he said. "I'll text you when I land. That is, if you care about that sort of a thing."
And he walked out. I followed him to the front door. One of my roommates was in the kitchen.
"Bye Parag." she said. Then she noticed the tears in my eyes and looked away. I hated myself for letting her see me with tears in my eyes. My ego kicked in and I immediately wiped them off and composed myself.
Parag left the apartment and walked down the stairs. His taxi was waiting on the street. I was still following him. So he stopped.
"I told you I don't want you to come to the airport."
"I know. Would you do me a favor and drop me off downtown? It's on the way to the turnpike anyway." "Okay."
We got in the cab. I told the cabbie the intersection I wanted to be dropped of at, and then to go to Newark airport. Ten minutes later, the cab was at a traffic light, a few blocks from where I would be getting off. We had both been staring out of the our respective windows in silence. I finally looked at him and asked the question which had been on my mind.
"So is this your way of breaking up with me?" I asked. He looked at me.
"Is that what you want?" he asked.
"Is that what you're doing?" I asked.
He looked out of the window again. I repeated the question.
"No." he said, still looking away, and then after a pause added, "Not yet."
The cab stopped at my intersection. I got out of the cab. And it drove away.
I needed something to distract me, something to immerse myself in. I knew of a multiplex on that block. I walked in, bought a ticket to a random movie, and watched it. It was some sort of a buddy comedy movie. Very stupid, but it did the job. It made me smile a few times. Once it ended, I went and watched a movie playing on another screen. Then another. It was 8 PM by the time the projector light started making my head hurt, and I walked out of the multiplex.
I checked my phone which had been on silent all that while. 1 text message and 2 missed calls. The text was from Parag.
"Reached Charlotte."
That's it. I replied, "Okay".
The two missed calls were from Dustin. I sighed. I wondered if his girlfriend was still obsessed with meeting me. I really did not need that right now. I called a cab and went home. The roommates fortunately kept their queries and thoughts to themselves. I made myself a sandwich, ate it, then took two big swigs of Tylenol. And slept.
------------------------------------------
The next few days were absolute hell. There was a lot of studying to do, and assignments to finish. And there was the drama to deal with. Parag didn't call me on Monday, nor Tuesday, nor Wednesday. I was too angry with him to make the first move. He had asked me to change who I was. And when asked if he was breaking up with me, had said, "not yet". Fuck him!
I was also doing my best to avoid Dustin. I didn't answer his calls. When I ran into him in the department, I walked the other way. When I went out to smoke, I made sure he wasn't around. He kept sending me text messages, all of which were variations on, "Please let's just talk" and "I miss our friendship."
Wednesday evening, around 8, I had fired off some printouts of a few papers, and was on my way to the copy room to pick them up. The corridor was almost empty. Just as I passed by a door, it opened. I saw Dustin. He stepped out, caught hold of my arm, and pulled me in.
"Dustin! Let me go!" I said, not quite shrieking, but in a loud voice. He slammed the door shut behind me and dead-bolted it. I noticed that we were in a janitor's closet.
"For Christ's sake, just talk to me Anar!" Justin said and let go of my arm.
"I am not a Christian." I couldn't help blurt out my standard jocular response to whenever someone invoked Christ when talking to me.
Justin smirked. I couldn't help but smile either. It broke the tension.
"Why are you giving me the silent treatment?" he asked me.
"Dustin.... it's not really that."
"Do you believe I forced you in some way? Drugged you with the weed?"
"No, don't be ridiculous!"
"Do you think I somehow took advantage of your emotional vulnerability?"
I thought about the question.
"Did you?" I asked him. He seemed taken aback. He thought for a couple of seconds and responded,
"Not by design anyway. Whatever happened....I just caught up in the moment. I mean.... don't get me wrong. You are an absolutely amazing woman. I find you attractive in every way. If you weren't dating someone, I'd totally be hitting on you. But I think of you as a friend. A great friend."
"I think of you as a great friend too, Dustin. And I got caught up in the moment too." I admitted.
"So why have you been avoiding me? Not returning my calls?"
"It has nothing to do.....well it has only a little to do with what happened that night. I've been preoccupied with issues related to Parag."
"What kind of issues? Talk to me. It'll help you feel better if you vent."
"The last time I vented......" I said and smiled. He smiled back sheepishly.
"It was just in the heat of the moment. We're both adults. You can talk to me. Don't you think I am your friend?"
"Of course I do."
"Then let's talk."
I looked around.
"Here?"
"No, of course not here!" he said and opened the door. I stepped out. A couple of grad students walking by looked at us and smiled. I looked away from them. Thank heavens they weren't Indian, or this would be the talk of diaspora!
"I need to pick up some printouts. And finish a paper. When does your shift end?"
"Nine."
"I will be done by 9:30. I'll meet you in the lobby. This time, let's actually go to the bar you were going to take me to last time and talk. I could use a drink or five."
Two hours later, we were sitting in the bar on Cedar. It really was nice and quiet, with reasonably priced drinks. Dustin was having whiskey and coke. I was having a cosmo. And I was telling him the entire saga about Parag. Dustin listened quietly, like he always did, offering the appropriate inputs and sympathies along the way. By the time I was done narrating the story, we were both on out third drinks.
"And that's the whole fucking mess." I concluded.
"That is very messed up." Dustin nodded. "So what next? Do you think he's going to break up with you? Is that what he meant by 'not 'yet'?"
"I don't know. I think he might be."
"What do you want?"
"What do I want? Some peace of mind would be good."
"Yes, but do you want this relationship to continue? Do you love him?"
I thought about the question for almost a minute, finishing my third cosmo for the night.
"I am not so sure. I do love him. And I have always thought of him as the guy I want to spend my life with. But I am not as sure as I was back in India. This long distance relationship has shown me a whole new side of him. A petty side. An insecure side."
"He does seem to have some sort of an inferiority complex, based on what you tell me."
"I know!"
"Is he right? Have you always been the 'star' in the relationship?"
"Well...I suppose so. But it's because I am more outgoing than him. Not that he's a wallflower. But yes, in public, I do get a lot more attention than him."
"And you are at a better school than him, with better grades...."
"Yes."
"You might end up getting a better job than him. Possibly a better paying one."
"It's possible."
"Are you okay with being with a guy who earns less than you?"
"Of course I am!"
"Do you see him okay being with a woman who is better than him in every respect? Do you think his ego can handle it?"
I stared at Dustin. He had articulated the crucial question perfectly. Was Parag up to it? Is that what he was coming to terms with in this mini-break he had enforced on our relationship?
"I am not sure. I used to think so. Now I don't know."
"The next time you visit him or he visits you, maybe you guys should have this talk."
I nodded. We sat in silence for a while as the waiter got us another round of drinks.
"Anar." Dustin finally said. "Do you think he knows.... about us?"
"You mean us being friends? Yeah, of course."
"No, I mean about that night. Does he have a clue?"
"I don't think so. How could he?"
"You said that when you woke up on Sunday, he was talking to your roommates and had already changed the ticket. Maybe they told him."
"Yeah, but they don't know."
"They must know that you didn't come home that night. Maybe they told him and he put two and two together."
"Hmmm...." I thought about it. "Nope, that's not the sort of thing Parag would sit on. Not a hothead like him. If he had even an inkling, he'd have blasted me about it by now."
"I see."
We drank in silence for a while more. That's when I thought of something.
"Dustin! I have been so absorbed in my problems, I totally forgot to ask you about yours. Why the hell did Vicky want to meet me?"
"I really have no idea!" Dustin shrugged.
"Does she know? Did you tell her?"
"No, I told you I did not tell her. But she seems to suspect something. And it's more than her usual jealousy with other girls."
"How did your weekend go?"
"It was mostly nice. We did have a fight about this janitor-band thing again."
"She's not letting it go, huh?"
"Nope. You know this weekend I realized......." Dustin said, took a sip of his drink and stopped.
"Realized what?"
"Nothing. Forget I said anything."
"Come on Dustin! I just told you everything about my weekend."
"Yeah. You're right." he took another sip and said, "this weekend I realized that I don't think the Vicky thing is gonna last very long."
"What? Why?"
"She is too pushy. Too jealous and possessive. Wants to..... wants to change me. I don't want to be changed."
"Parag wants me to change too."
"Yeah, you told me."
"Look at us! In relationships with people don't like us for who we are, but what they want us to become!" I said, and finished the drink.
Dustin looked at me in a funny way, then looked into his glass. The waiter came to ask if we wanted more drinks. Both of us said no. Dustin insisted on paying for the drinks and then we left the bar. As I walked, I felt a little woozy. Not drunk, but nicely buzzed. Dustin seemed fine. But just to be sure, I asked him,
"Are you sure you're okay to drive?"
"Yes, I am. Want me to say the alphabet backwards?"
"No, that's fine." I said and got in the car. He sat in the driver's seat. And started driving the car.
When he dropped me off at my apartment, he gave me a peck on my cheek, which I returned.
"We'll be okay." I said, patting his hand.
"Yes, we will." he said with a wistful smile and drove away.
It was not for nothing that my wife Ritu spent almost half a day in her make over for the "Couples Only" annual dinner and dance in our club. The club had invited a star guest, who had worked as a hero in some films in the past. At that time, I was a club member and a senior marketing executive in a multinational corporation.
It was not rare but rather unusual for my wife Ritu to display her excellent vital stats this way. She usually avoided dressing up for male eye balls. However, she knew that she had the face and figure to make them rolling and that I loved to display her; particularly when there was an occasion like this to silently announce "my wife is more beautiful than yours". Annual dinner was one such occasion, she figured, and she liked to make me feel proud of being her husband.
We were married for eight years and although the excitement and euphoria of seeing each other naked or the thrill of mating had not gone away completely; but it no longer had that cutting edge. That was now replaced by emotional attachment, a desire of making each other happier and to care and understand each other's feelings.
My wife of 8 years, Ritu was simple and emotional. She was not conservative, yet not too modern in her outlook. She liked to go to clubs and parties and meet new friends. Yet she disliked splurging money on so called fashionable things. When we went to parties, I liked her to wear sexy outfits. However, I had to persuade her hard to do so; which I invariably did. That would finally result in her yielding to my request for "one last time". This had become our usual routine and an unspoken rule, before any party. She liked me to persuade her to do anything out of the way and I was always glad to do it, if I really wanted her to do it.
It would not be appropriate, at the same time, to say that she readied herself only to satisfy my ego. I felt that it was also that she wanted to prove to herself too; that at that age after mothering a child, she had not lost her ability to set on fire, males' libidos. I gave her a window of escape by repeatedly arguing that she must look desirable because I wanted to be the husband of the most beautiful and desirable woman in the party.
In the tightly wrapped sari that she wore, her shapely hips looked accentuated. Her saree was so tied that her waist right under breasts, curving inward to her tummy, flattening up until her deep navel and then flaring up towards her hips and that lustful rise just above her hairless mound; was completely naked and alluring. Her breasts were a dream for any male to watch and fondle. Even at the age of 32, she hardly needed a bra to keep her breasts upright. On top of it, I made her (she was reluctant to) wear a pin up bra that not only shaped up her lovely breasts further; but revealed her deep cleavage that left one's mind craving for those lovely soft and yet firm boobs. She deliberately left her hair untied and swinging in the air. That made her all the more desirable.
When she entered the party hall, I was thrilled to see hushed silence descending in the hall, as all looked completely mesmerized and overwhelmed at my lovely Ritu. It looked as if there was no other female in the hall. Of course there were not less than ten of them.
I began mixing with the lot and she did too. A series of introductions and "Hi, hello and how do you do?" followed liberally. I noticed complete awe in the eyes of men in particular and women too; when they saw my lovely Ritu. Among them Dev, a friend of mine just could not control his eyes as he kept staring at my wife so unabashedly that she felt unnerved and moved over to clutch my arm with concern in her eyes.
I introduced Dev to my wife Ritu and vice versa; when Dev said, "My sincere apologies to my lovely bhabhi (Bhabhi = brother's wife: a friend is like a brother) for staring."
Then he looked at her and said, "Bhabhi, please forgive me for staring. I have not seen a more beautiful girl in my life. I can't imagine that you are married. Bhaiya is so lucky."
You could well imagine the state of any woman, who is more 30 years old and a mother too, when she hears such wonderful compliments from a very smart and handsome man. Predictably, my wife was completely swept off her feet. Even for her this was a great compliment. No one ever complimented her so profusely.
I took Dev aside and asked him mischievously, "Dev, what's the matter? Of all the women you only found your bhabhi to hit on?"
Dev looked at me embarrassed and said, "Bhaiya, I am so sorry if you felt bad. She is so beautiful. You are lucky bro. But perhaps you are right. I shall be more careful now."
I tapped behind his shoulder, laughed loudly and said, "Saale, pehle line maarta hai aur phir sorry bolta hai? (First you hit on my wife and then tell me sorry?)."
Then in sober voice I told him, "Look, I was just joking, pulling your leg. You are not the only one eyeing her. You may carry on, if you like. I am not much bothered about your overtures; because I know your charm is not going to work on her. She is not like your usual preys. She is a typical conservative Indian house wife. You may have had your way elsewhere but she is different."
Dev looked at me quizzically and asked, "Bhaiya, are you serious? How can you be so sure?"
I said, "I know her like the back of my palm. We are married for 8 years now. Many people have tried to hit on her and finally given up frustrated. Mind you, not because I was jealous or something; but because she would not yield an inch." I winked at him and said, "Even one of my seniors tried once and failed."
"Bhaiya, you are sadly mistaken. There is no woman, who cannot be wooed, unless she is afraid of being targeted socially or has any psychological or health issues. But yes, because she is my respected bhabhi and your dear wife; I shall keep away from her. But I reiterate that there are no exceptions."
I was rather cheesed off at Dev's audacious confidence. I knew my wife and I knew that she could not be baited easily. Besides, I was excited and not afraid of the possibility of Dev's success. For some time, that kinky pervert bug was eating my mind wondering how exciting it would feel to see my beautiful and sexy wife being fucked by another male and how excited she would get, if two males (including me) fucked her.
I was thrilled seeing a faint possibility of my fantasy turning into reality, if by any chance Dev succeeded. I decided to try. I challenged Dev. I said, "Dev, come on! Don't be so cocky. I know her well enough and throw you an open challenge. You try your best charms on her and see. But please, if you fail, don't come back to me red faced and complain. I give you three months"
I could see Dev's expressions changing rapidly. He was excited at first, but then he sighed and said ruefully, "I know bhaiya. She will never move an inch; if she has the slightest suspicion that you may not want her to. I know I cannot succeed without your support. I accept defeat before the fight."
He did not accept the defeat. He was subtly challenging me. I was not the one to let him off the hook easily. I said firmly, "And suppose I give you my tacit approval and say that you will still not be successful?"
Dev's face lit up and then suddenly turned suspicious. He asked, "Bhaiya, are you not pulling my leg again? Did I hear what I thought you said?"
I said firmly, "Yes Dev. You heard right. I assure you that I shall not come in your way. In fact I shall go one step forward. I shall tacitly support you in letting you come closer to my wife. But be clear, you will not force her and you will not do anything against her wish. If that is clear, I accept your challenge."
Dev could not suppress glee on his face. He came and embraced me and said, "Bhaiya, let me also make one thing clear. Ritu is my dear and respected bhabhi and your beloved wife. I shall neither force her against her wish nor do anything that will cause any social or family issues between her and you. I shall not hurt any of your feelings. I shall respect you and her as much for ever as I do now; come what may. I swear and I will never ever cheat on you."
I hugged him tight and to push him a bit, I said, "You are my dear friend and brother. I still caution you not to try to make advances on her as I know you will fail, in spite of my support."
My friend Dev was smart and handsome; he was about 3 years younger to me and elder to Ritu by about two years. He called me "Bhaiya" (elder brother). He was a well muscled flat waist athletic man. He was taller than me and had excellent dress sense. He wore smart dresses that made him look naturally attractive to women. On that occasion, he had put on an immaculate tee shirt and trousers with a red scarf tied around his neck. He was a smooth talker. In parties, women looked forward to meeting and talking with him. He was well known as "Ladies man". He had a reputation that once he fancied a woman seriously, it was a foregone conclusion that she would be in his bed sooner or later.
My wife Ritu had not heard about Dev earlier. When we retreated into a corner, she asked me, as if casually, "Oh! Your friend, what was his name? Oh, let me see, Dev? Yes Dev. He called you bhaiya. He seems like a nice handsome young man. Is he married?"
Just at that very moment, a beautiful lady entered the hall. She was greeted by Dev. I saw all eyes following her. I was simply mesmerized at her grace and femininity. Well that was a decent way of saying that she hardened up my cock with her sexiness. She was Dev's wife Devika. She was a beauty incarnate. She had all that men look for in a woman. Lovely bums and boobs, lovely figure, shapely thighs and walk, blood red lips and inviting smile et al.
She was wearing a loose top and a tight knee long Capri that hugged her bums and showed their shapely generosity. Her loose fluffy cotton top when rested on her bra left no scope for imagination about the size of her breasts. They were sumptuous and sizable. She was tall for an Indian woman and well built too. My wife Ritu and Devika were almost as beautiful, but built differently.
I was taken in by her charm as much as Dev was with my wife's. I grabbed my wife's arm and moved over to Dev and his wife Devika to introduce ourselves. After introductions, Devika walked away from us with some ladies talking with them. Ritu and I moved away from the crowd and sat on a sofa.
I saw Dev standing alone some distance away from us. However, his eyes returned to focus on my wife repeatedly. Perhaps Ritu noticed it too. I guessed that she was feeling a bit awkward about it, but did not say anything.
Very soon the music started. Couples descended on the dance floor. There were some couples who danced rather well. However, most were just tapping their feet and making awkward movements thinking that they were dancing. It started with some fast paced Hindi film songs. Then there were some low paced songs.
My boss also happened to be in the club at that time and appeared from somewhere and caught my wife's hand and tried to pull her onto the dance floor to dance with him. He was abrupt and uncouth. My wife Ritu did not know who he was. She snapped at him and jerked her hand from his and pushed him away. Poor fellow staggered a little. Thoroughly embarrassed, he walked away as some women clapped at the heroics of my wife. I should have been happy at my wife's heroics too. However, I was rather disappointed at his failure to take my wife to the dance floor.
My wife Ritu was a star girl in her college too. She was famous for her beauty and daring. She was the most desired girl in the college and yet few of her colleagues had the courage to approach her for the fear of getting rebuffed. She had slapped and treated quite a few boys with her sandals and chappals; who had tried to flirt with her. Perhaps my boss was not aware of that and presumed that my beautiful wife was a game for him.
Even though Dev was some distance away from us I could see his eyes riveted on my wife Ritu. It amazed me to see that his eyes rarely moved away from my wife's body. I was subtly excited at Dev's close interest in my wife Ritu. Normally a husband should get irritated at some other male's paying extra attention to his wife. However, I felt otherwise. One of the reasons also was that I personally liked Dev and felt that he was mature and trust worthy. Dev in turn liked to talk with me. Our contact with each other though, was more formal and limited, until that time.
After a while, Dev walked as if casually and stood in front of us. He bowed down a little in front of my wife Ritu and offered her his hand, looked at me and asked, "Bhaiya, may I have a dance with my beautiful bhabhi please?"
Ritu looked embarrassed at the offer. She looked at Dev and said, "But I don't know how to dance."
Dev shot back, "Bhabhi, how many people you see dancing here, know how to dance?" Then he replied himself, "None. Besides, I shall teach you some simple steps. It is not that difficult."
Ritu looked at me. She wanted my permission. I nodded my head in approval. Dev and Ritu moved away from us as Dev held my wife's waist in one arm and rested the other one on her shoulder. Very soon Ritu started getting the hang of steps and similarly held her arms around Dev.
Suddenly the music slowed and I saw Dev pulling my wife closer to him. I quickly slipped away from their sight to a location from where I could see them but they couldn't see me. My wife Ritu looked around for me with concern in her eyes at Dev's fresh adventure. Not finding me anywhere, not knowing how to react at the sudden unexpected situation, she carried on dancing with Dev. Dev was grinding his pelvis, thighs and abdomen against my wife Ritu; holding her tight in his arms making her come very close to him in intimate dance steps.
Surprisingly, I was excited seeing Dev rubbing his pelvis against my wife's and holding my wife intimately to his chest. I should have got irritated, but I was getting aroused. My cock in my pants started hardening.
My eyes fell on Dev's wife, Devika, who helplessly watched her husband dancing with a strikingly beautiful woman intimately. I went crazy looking at her. I found her very seductive for three reasons: Firstly her lovely deep blue eyes. It looked as though her eyes dared me to come and take her into my arms. Secondly, her ample bosoms: Her breasts constantly strained her blouse and bra; bursting to come out. They looked tantalizing and provocative. They shook when she moved like branches of a tree when gentle breeze blows. Thirdly her lovely bums. Her ass protruded out of her dress so seductively that it took me a great deal of restraint to control my urge to touch them or to kiss them.
I was aroused seeing her watching her husband dance with my very pretty wife. I fancied my chances of fucking her, sometime in the future. I obviously felt bad for her. At the same time, I felt that I had a good opportunity at that moment to try my luck to get close to her. I moved over to her and offered my hand for her to dance with me. How could she refuse an invitation from the husband of the beautiful lady who was dancing with her husband rather intimately?
It was tit for tat. Devika was really beautiful. If one had to make a comparison between my wife Ritu and Devika, it would be a tossup. The only difference was that my wife Ritu was a little thinner and Devika was a little better filled and taller.
Then it was my turn to hide from Dev and my wife. I moved with Devika in a corner, where my wife Ritu and Dev could not see us. As we were dancing Devika asked me, "Dev is calling you bhaiya. Should I also call you bhaiya?"
I said, "Look dear, don't call me bhaiya. Dev's calling me bhaiya and your calling me bhaiya have different connotations. Don't you think?"
Devika nodded her lovely head, although I was not sure if she understood. Then she vented out her anguish. She asked me, "I shall call you Raj, ok? But, Dev calls you bhaiya and he has great respect for you. At the same time, he is dancing like this with his bhabhi. This is not good. What do you say?"
I understood her meaning. I said, "Look Devika. It is true that Dev calls me bhaiya. But if he dances with my wife intimately, so what? What would you say if someone else dances with her like that? Actually I would rather my wife Ritu dance with Dev than anyone else; because at least I know him. I know you. That is better than some stranger getting close to my wife. I think it is better Dev, than someone else. Because Dev loves and respects me."
Devika looked pointedly at me. Her looks said that she liked my interpretation. She might perhaps have guessed too that I wanted to get close to her and was therefore perhaps pushing that theory; but she did not say it.
I repeated the steps Dev was taking with my wife Ritu. I began grinding my thighs with Devika's. My cock had hardened and poked her thighs. Devika had no issues with that. She was happily letting me take the initiative and cooperated with me happily. She was hot and danced better than my wife.
As soon as the music stopped we all clapped. I saw Dev emerging from a corner holding Ritu's hand and leading her to us. As soon as Ritu saw me she came running to me. She looked at Devika and for fleeting moment I saw a woman to woman jealousy in her eyes as she said "Hello" to Devika; turned to me and said, "Dev is a good dancer. I learnt some dancing steps from him. But where were you? I was looking for you." I was tempted to ask my wife, "You also experienced some intimate dancing and body touching with Dev didn't you?" But I kept quiet.
On our way back home, I told Ritu, "I hope my boss does not get cross with me. You were rather harsh with him You almost pushed him away. Poor fellow stumbled and could have fallen down. He will never come in front of you again."
Ritu looked at me apologetically and said, "I am sorry. I didn't know he was your boss. Please offer my apologies to him. He almost grabbed me and forced me to go on the floor. If he had asked me to dance politely; I would have accepted. After all, did I not dance with your friend Dev? What is there in a dance anyway?"
I laughed at Ritu and to tease her, I said, "Darling, all things start with dance. First dance, then holding hands, then mischief here and there, then flirting and intimate body contacts and then sex."
My wife stood still, looking at me wondering. She asked, "Is that so? My God! What a fool I was to accept Dev's invitation? I should have refused Dev. Dev must be thinking that I was a game for him. That was perhaps the reason Dev kept asking me when I could meet him again."
To set her mind at ease, I said, "No darling, don't worry. I was just joking. Dancing is nothing special."
Then I decided to tease my wife a little more. I said, "But, I saw that Dev became hot while dancing closely with you. I saw his big cock making a tent in his pants. Did you not feel it?" I hinted to her that I saw them dancing intimately.
My wife's face turned pale at my swipe at her. That proved that she must have felt Dev's cock poking her body, while dancing; but she just kept quiet about it.
I said in pacifying voice, "Well, that's ok. If his cock hardened dancing closely with you, it is not his fault. What could he do? With that sexy body of yours, it is natural. Just looking at you, a man could ejaculate. It can happen to any man dancing with such a beautiful and sexy woman like you."
My wife looked embarrassed. She kept quiet for a while and then said in very low tone, "Did your cock not harden up when you danced so intimately taking Dev's wife Devika so closely in your arms?"
It was then my turn to feel embarrassed. I replied softly, "Well well, we are all at par now. Account settled."
Dev and I stayed about 5 kilometres away from each other. Some weeks passed after that party. Our families came closer during that period. Dev started talking to me more frequently than earlier (after meeting my wife Ritu). We started going to each other's houses and went out together for movies or eating out on weekends.
Dev and I liked each other. Even before that party, we enjoyed each other's company. After the party, however, Dev paid more attention to me. Dev always treated me like his elder brother. He called me "Bhaiya" (meaning elder brother) in spite of my forbidding him time and again. He was the only son of his father and he did not have a brother or a sister. Perhaps that was the reason that he saw me as his elder brother.
I knew Dev craved for my wife. After our talk in the party, perhaps he fancied his chances with her. Well, I couldn't fault him. I was also mad for his wife, but kept my feeling suppressed inside me, whereas Dev was a bit flamboyant about it. Slowly we both started discreetly cajoling each other's wives. But we didn't get anywhere near them. Our wives were nonchalant about it. They did not pay any serious attention to our subtle gestures. My wife Ritu and Dev's wife Devika became good friends.
On many occasions Dev came to my house alone when I was away. Ritu offered him tea snacks etc., but did not talk much and slipped away in the kitchen leaving Dev sitting idly in the living room. She knew that Dev was trying to hit on her.
Whenever Dev came to meet Ritu in my absence, both he and my wife Ritu would tell me that, when I returned. I got excited until I learnt that Ritu gave him a cold shoulder. Ritu told me hesitatingly one day that she felt that Dev's intentions were not above board. She suspected that Dev was trying hit on her to entice her, with his charms.
I took my wife in my arms and hugging her intimately, I put the onus squarely on her. I said, "Is that his fault? I don't blame the poor fellow. You are so beautiful and sexy that why Dev, anyone would want to do that if they can. Is he the first person who tried that?"
I felt excited when she told me about Dev's visits in my absence. I saw two possibilities. One was that looking at Dev's reputation of having the ability to conquer any woman that he fancied; I was pretty much optimistic that he would get over my wife's resistance or reluctance and have a way with my wife; sooner or later. I seriously hoped that he would. My heart beat faster at the thought. Secondly, I was hoping that Dev's coming closer to my wife Ritu would make Dev facilitate my easy entry into his bedroom.
One day when I was away on tour, Dev tried to gift a handicraft to my wife Ritu. Without any hesitation, Ritu snubbed him harshly. She warned him not to bring such gifts and try to tempt her.
Dev was crestfallen. He had never been snubbed like that before. When I returned from tour and met him, he almost cried narrating to me of the incident.
I told him, "See, I told you before."
But then I felt that if this continued, Dev would finally give up and my fantasy will remain only fantasy. So I assured Dev that I would talk to Ritu about it and see that things got better between them.
That evening after we retired to bed, I asked Ritu in a disappointed tone, making a face, "Ritu darling, why did you snub Dev for gifting you that handicraft piece? He bought a small gift for us and you just tore that poor fellow apart for nothing. That was not fair. He had told me about the gift earlier and I had asked him to give it to you (I lied)."
When Ritu heard that Dev had told me about the gift, she was at a loss to explain her behaviour. She said awkwardly, "I am so sorry. You should have told me about it. I did not know that he had told you about it. I thought he was trying to woo me behind your back."
I tried to pacify her and said, "No, it is not true. Whenever he visits our house in my absence, he makes it a point to tell me. He told me that he loved to play with Munnu (our son) and I have allowed him to come and play with him in my absence. Please do not misunderstand Dev. He may be attracted to you; but then be honest and tell me, with your sexiness and beauty, which virile man wouldn't?"
Like any other lady, Ritu too fell in my trap hook line and sinker; when I praised her beauty and sexiness so generously. Well, I had not exaggerated, had I? When it came to the praise of her beauty, which lady wouldn't be flattered? She said apologetically, "Ok, baba, sorry again. Please apologize to your brother or friend on my behalf. I shall now be careful not to hurt his feelings. Ok? Happy?"
It looked to me that she was happy at the development. I felt certain that on hind sight, she must have felt sorry that she had admonished Dev so badly for (what she now felt) such a trivial reason.
Ritu came closer to me and took me in her arms. Pressing her lips against mine she murmured, "You are a good man and a sensitive husband. Anyone else in your place would not have supported his friend like you have done."
We kept kissing hard and I found Ritu was getting hot. She moved her face away, looked at me and said, "I suspected that Dev was trying to hit on me. Sometimes I feel that he is a good man. Sometimes, I find him staring at me and trying to entice me. Now that you are supporting him and stopping me; what could I do?"
She was trying to express her confusion and helplessness. She paused for a while then suddenly in a naughty mood rolling her eyes, she said, "Be careful, Mr. Hubby. You are trading on thin ice. It's not good to give your wife and your friend such a long rope, lest he may win away your wife from you and leave you rubbing your hands."
I was not the one to let it pass. I replied with matching naughtiness, "Darling, I know and trust you more than you know and trust yourself. I know that anyone can hit on you as much as he wants. In a delicate moment someone even might be able to seduce you. All the same, I know you will remain mine forever. Our relationship means much more than just sex. Our marriage joins not just our bodies; it joins our hearts, it joins us with our children, family, society and all that. Am I right or not?"
Ritu appeared thoughtful for a while and then gently nodding her head she said, "My God! You are so thoughtful. I guess you are right." She embraced me closely and said, "Honey, do you really have so much trust in your wife?"
At that moment I understood that my darling wife Ritu was still unsure but surely had softened up a bit in her mind towards Dev. I inserted my hand in her night gown and squeezing her nipple hard, I said, "I trust you more than I trust myself."
I grabbed her breasts in both my hands and further teasing her I said, "Poor Dev was heartbroken after you snubbed him. But you are right about one thing. Dev is crazy about you. Whenever I look at him suddenly, I find that his eyes are always focused on your sumptuous breasts."
Ritu fidgeted a little. Moving away from me, she dismissed my argument with a wave of her hand and said, "Nonsense! I don't think that is true. You males think of nothing but sex all the time. I do not think he is like that." Her statement was a surprise for me. When she said that an idea suddenly flashed in my mind.
I pressed my point further, "You don't think so? Why? He is a male too! Well, if you really think Dev is not like that, let us take a test. Do one thing. Next time when he is alone with you, incite him a little. Just give him a sexy pose, or give him a bit of leeway and then see. If he does not pull you in his arms, then tell me. I will accept my defeat."
Hearing my words, Ritu turned away from me in bed in anger and said, "You should be ashamed of yourself for talking to your wife like that."
I leaned on her and took her in my arms from atop her and said, "Oh, honey! Don't turn away from me. Please forgive me, I was just joking."
Ritu too turned back to face me. She said smiling, "Never mind, I too was joking."
I took my wife Ritu in my arms tightly and said, "Honey, poor Dev has gone bonkers over you. If by mistake, he teases you or even touches you; please don't snub him and don't break his heart please?"
Ritu was getting aroused at my constant goading her about Dev in our conversation in titillating manner. She looked at me mischievously and said, "You are a strange husband! You pamper your lecherous friend (so, she knew he was lecherous!) and ask your faithful wife not to fend off your friend's sexual overtures. Why? If it is not to hurt your friendship with him, ok. I assure you that I will take care not to hurt your friend's feelings, ok?"
Then looking at my engorged cock in my night dress, she spread her palm over it and pampering it in her delicate hand she said, "You are so much worried about your friend, but look at my friend, this poor chap! How much eager he seems to be to meet his girl friend! Now come on! Please let him kiss his girl friend. Please finish the job."
Ritu was hot as hell. I quickly removed my night dress and undressed my beautiful wife. Our two naked bodies were grinding against each other, generating fire of lust. She placed her hand on my cock and found it rock hard. Her pussy was oozing out her love juice liberally.
Feeling her juice flowing out of her pussy, I told her, "You are really hot!"
She replied equally mischievously, "You are making me hot by talking dirty to me."
Ritu stopped talking to me. How could she? She had deep throated my rock hard cock into her mouth. She was almost getting gagged. She sucked it like the children do their sweetened coloured ice balls. Earlier she opposed my proposal of sucking my cock. But that night she wanted to please me. Why did she? I didn't know. Or perhaps I did. I would remember that night for a long time. She made me fuck her hard. She had three orgasms. I ejaculated twice. That was rare. I thought my friend Dev's arrows were hitting right on target.
When I got ready and was leaving for the office the next morning, I kissed my wife bye and reminded her, "Do you remember your promise of testing Dev? Let us see who is proved right, you or me?"
Smiling awkwardly, she pushed me away saying, 'Oho! I remember! Let me think about it. Now will you go to the office or stand here and keep talking?"
Ritu and I came out to the portico as she wanted to see me off outside the house in the portico. I turned her around and grabbed her by her waist. Placing my arms around her and pulling her tightly close and bringing my mouth on to her mouth, I asked her, "You will not think. You will do as I said. Ok? Will you do it or not? Promise me."
Ritu was out of her wits. There were people walking outside having a good view of us. She tried to push me away saying, "What are you doing? People are watching us. Please don't make a scene. Yes, I will do it. Now please leave me and go."
I laughed as I walked on my way to my office, waving her bye. She stood in our portico looking quite embarrassed and perhaps wondering about my thought process.
Around noon time on that day I phoned Dev. I told him, "Ritu had asked me to get her two packets of Maggy noodles. I just forgot about it. I am now tied up in the office. I will not be able to deliver them any time soon. If you are nearby, can you please be kind to buy two packets of Maggy noodles and deliver them to Ritu? I shall be grateful."
I knew that Dev always looked for an excuse to visit my house anyway. How could he pass up an opportunity like that? He immediately said that he was going to pass through that area and would positively pick up the packets and deliver them home.
I rang up my wife Ritu and told her, "Dev would be there any time. Are you ready to receive him?"
Ritu was flustered at my obstinacy. She asked me in frustrated voice, "Have you not yet forgotten about it? Are you testing Dev or me? After all, what is it you want from me?"
I said stubbornly, "Will you do it or not? Will you keep or beak your promise?" Ritu always took pride in declaring that she never broke her promise. I took advantage of that.
Ritu finally gave up and said, "I don't know what kind of husband you are. Ok baba, don't pester me. I will do it. I am going to change now. You are bent upon making me do something weird; but mind you, if something goes wrong, don't blame me. Ok?"
I replied, "Darling, I love you so much and will love you forever, come what may. I am asking you to do this. Whatever happens as a consequence is my responsibility and not yours. I shall never blame you; believe me."
Within half an hour of our conversation, Dev reached our house. He pressed the door bell. There was no response. The door was not bolted. It opened when he pushed it a little. He found no one in the house. However, he heard sound from the bathroom that indicated that Ritu was bathing. Dev sat on a sofa in the drawing room.
Dev heard my wife Ritu calling out loud from the bathroom, "Suchitra, go to the kitchen and clean the utensils. I shall come out soon." Suchitra was our house maid, who came to clean utensils and do sweeping, mopping chores. Dev understood that Ritu thought that it was our maid Suchitra, who had come and opened our front door. Dev just kept quiet to surprise Ritu.
Very soon Ritu came out of the bath room wrapped in a towel. She first went to the kitchen and not finding anyone there, came to the drawing room. She saw Dev in the drawing room. When Dev saw Ritu wrapped in a towel almost half naked, he was out of his wits. His jaws fell open. My wife stood there in all her glory, barely wrapped in a towel, with half her body naked to the feasting eyes of Dev. Dev could clearly see the mystic rise of her lovely globes. The towel barely covered her thighs. Her lovely thighs made Dev's head go spinning. Ritu's wet hair was spread all over her face and partly covered her ample bosoms. At that time, Ritu appeared to Dev like a sex Goddess incarnate, ready to shower her blessings on poor Dev.
When Ritu saw Dev with his jaws open looking unashamed at her half naked figure; Ritu let out a sharp shrill. Then suddenly realising that her sharp loud voice may alarm neighbours, she toned down her voice and asked, "Dev, how come you are here at this time?"
Dev was tongue locked seeing my wife in that condition. He could barely muster out some incoherent words, "Ritu... please.... forgive me.... I didn't.... know that you were taking a bath..... I pressed the bell. When.... there was no.... response, I .... pushed the door open. Raj phoned me and said that you wanted two Maggi packets during the day. Since he couldn't come, he asked me to give these to you. Here I am."
Dev extended his hand to hand over the two packets to Ritu. However, his eyes were riveted on Ritu's sumptuous breasts. When Ritu came closer and picked up the packets, Dev could not resist his urge to look into Ritu's towel. Although Ritu had tightly clutched her towel in his hands, the towel could not cover her breasts fully. Either she had to cover her chastity or her breasts. She preferred the first option. More than half of her breasts were exposed. Her thighs well above her knees were also exposed. Dev just had a huge urge to take my wife Ritu in his arms and lay her on the sofa and climb over her and fuck her there and then
Dev just could not suppress his overwhelming lust. He moved closer to Ritu and took her in his arms. Ritu must have guessed Dev's thoughts. She held her towel tighter. She had her own problems. Firstly she could not shout for help and make a spectacle for the neighbours. Secondly she had her towel in one hand and packets in the other. She was unable to resist Dev in that condition.
She shook her body hard to try and break away from the clutches of Dev's arms. She was however, not able to break free from Dev's strong grip. She felt Dev's strong muscles around her straddling her completely.
Dev bent down to place his lips on Ritu's. He wanted to kiss her. Ritu feared that unless she does something drastic, Dev would overpower her and disrobe her and fuck her. She threw away the packets from her hand on the sofa and shoved Dev hard with her hand that became free to push him away from her. Dev staggered and released ritu. Ritu was scared like hell and knew very well that Dev would not spare her that afternoon; if she showed even a tiny bit of weakness. She also knew that she would not be able to resist him for long; once Dev started to kiss and fondle her; because she was sexually aroused too, feeling Dev's physique rubbing her.
She ran to the bedroom in panic. Her chest was heaving up and down as she breathed hard; half due to the toil and half due to excitement of feeling Dev's strong and forceful muscles on her body.
She suddenly realised that as she ran into the bed room in panic, she had forgotten (or was it intentional?) to bolt the bedroom door behind her. She was afraid that Dev might follow her to the bedroom too. She looked behind her and was relieved to find Dev standing in the drawing room, looking in her direction; nonplussed at the unexpected development.
Ritu's heart was pounding at bursting pace. She closed the door, wiped herself quickly, changed into a loose fitting gown hurriedly, not caring to put on bra and panty and came out to the drawing room rubbing her hair with the towel. She felt relieved seeing Dev standing awkwardly like a statue completely bereft of any aggressive intent looking baffled and embarrassed at his impulsiveness.
Ritu must have looked sexier in that loose gown with her wet hair wrapped in the towel, as she entered the drawing room to meet Dev. The gown was hinting at the treasure that it hid from the eyes of the beholder. But it gave sufficient hints of what was not visible, when it fell loosely on the naked curves of her body, as she moved. Dev saw that she had not put on any under garments. Dev realised that it was a positive signal for Dev. Dev decided to play the game patiently.
Street smart that he was; as soon as my wife entered the drawing room, Dev almost fell on my wife's feet begging her forgiveness. He looked as if he was about to weep. He said, "Bhbhi, please forgive me for my stupid behaviour. I lost my bearing for a moment when I saw you in that condition. Please slap me hard or hit me with your sandals; but please forgive me for my intemperate behaviour. Please don't tell Raj Bhaiya about my idiocy lest he might break relations with me. I shall not leave until you say that you have forgiven me."
Ritu was taken aback at the sudden change in Dev's behaviour. She was also acutely embarrassed seeing him falling at her feet. She knew that it was she who had incited Dev. It was not poor fellow's fault at all. In fact, she was impressed with Dev's restraint that he did not follow her into her bedroom; or else the story would have been different. She would not have been able to stop Dev and Dev would certainly have pulled off that towel and undressed her. She was unsure that if that had happened, whether she would have resisted him strongly enough to prevent him from fucking her in her bedroom.
She bent down, caught Dev's hand and gently pulled him up. She was touched emotionally at Dev's repentance.
She smiled at Dev and said, "Dev, come on. It happens. In fact, I have to apologize for shouting at you. It was my fault. I should not have come out dressed like that. It could have been someone else. Then it would have been terrible. Don't worry. This will remain between us. I won't talk this with my hubby. Please wait. I shall bring tea for you." Ritu quickly retreated into the kitchen to make tea for both of them.
As Ritu served tea, she told Dev, "In fact, I am the one to apologize to you for rejecting the gift you brought from Jodhpur. I misunderstood you. Raj told me that you had already talked to him about that."
Then rolling her eye balls mischievously, Ritu said, "But Dev, mind you; now that will cost you dear. I am not going to be satisfied with just that one gift. I want many more. Now if my demands increase, please do not back out."
Dev quickly recovered and smiled broadly at his success and said, "Bhabhi, you just have to ask. I will sacrifice my life at your feet."
My wife replied, "Let your life be for Devika. I only want gifts."
It was as if Dev had hit a jackpot. From that day, Dev was no longer ignored in my house. When Dev arrived, my wife Ritu rushed to receive him at the door with a smile. She talked with him for a length of time, even asked him to join her in the kitchen or bedroom; if she was working there. Dev was a regular visitor then in our house; irrespective of whether I was there or not. When Dev made her laugh at his funny jokes; she did not hesitate to hold his hands or casually hug him; even in my presence.
Dev played the game like a professional hunter; waiting patiently for his prey to err and waited for his opportunity; which he knew will come his way sooner or later. He was careful to avoid any visible sexuality in their interaction. Dev came over to play with my son and brought chocolates and ice cream for him frequently. He had won over our son munnu.
When Dev visited in my absence, both Dev and my wife Ritu made it a point to inform me about his visit. Ritu started to ask Dev to help her here and there. Ritu asked Dev to buy groceries or vegetables for her occasionally; in my absence. Dev was happy to help. I felt that something was brewing between them. If there was no feeling of intimacy, then at least there was no animosity or feeling of indifference between them. My wife was no longer afraid or suspicious of Dev as before.
Naturally, I was the beneficiary. Dev became kinder to me. One day he suddenly landed at my house. Ritu was busy in the kitchen. There was usual hello, hi etc. He had a packet in his hand. Suddenly the packet fell of his hand accidently. I felt as if he had dropped it intentionally. As I bent down and picked it up a picture slipped out of it. That was his wife Devika's picture.
She was standing on a sea shore in her bikini. Her eyes looked as if they were challenging the viewer. Her fully swollen breasts bulged out of the bikini top. A small strip of cloth barely hid her pussy. Her shapely buttocks looked eager to be spanked and pinched. I was speechless looking at her picture for a while.
I realised suddenly that Dev was looking at me watching weird expressions on my face. I felt embarrassed at my staring at the picture so intently for quite some time. Returning the picture to Dev, I said, "Sorry chum, my fault, I should not have seen it."
Dev laughed at my awkwardness and said, "Bhaiya, why should you not see this picture? I don't know how many people on the beach saw her half naked in person clad in the bikini, on the beach that day. You are not an outsider. You are our close friend. If you can't see her like this; then who can? I mean, if you had a picture of Ritu like this, would you have hesitated to show it to me?"
I nodded my head and replied awkwardly, "Yah, sure! I would have shown it to you."
Dev smiled broadly, handing over the entire packet to me and said, "Bhaiya, keep this for some time and see all the pictures in there. These are our honeymoon pictures. You will see Devika and me in some sexy poses. You can see them to your heart's content. Please share them with Ritu too. Bhaiya, you will agree that now we are not just close friends. We are now very intimate with each other. I do not want to hide anything from you two. I feel that there should be no secrecy, difference or distance at all between Devika, you, Ritu bhabhi and me. We must share everything that we have without exception. I mean you should treat Ritu and Devika in the same way and I should too. Don't you think so?"
Like a silly boy, I nodded my head. As he was leaving almost as an afterthought, he stopped and said, "And by the way, by all means, share these pictures with Ritu bhabhi too." before he left.
Dev had unveiled his heart's desire in his final statement before his departure. At first, I could not fathom the deep meaning of his revelation. As I kept thinking deeper, after Dev left; what he wanted to hint through his sentence, became clearer to me. The most important part, I thought was the sequence in which he rolled out our names. He first took his wife's name, followed by mine, then my wife's and then his own name.
I thought he was hinting that I should treat Devika in the same way as I treated Ritu. Similarly Dev could treat Ritu in the same way as Devika. That my wife should treat Dev same way as she treated me and Devika should treat me in the same way as she treated her husband. I should treat Devika like my wife and Dev should treat Ritu as his wife. He was clearly hinting at wife swap. A huge bell started ringing in my brain. I had goose pimples, just thinking about Dev's hint.
As the meaning became clearer, I thought that was exactly what I was thinking too! My God! How two devils think alike! Dev was a real business man. He knew that to get something, you must offer something that the other person wants, in return. He was offering me the access to his wife, in return to his access to my wife. Well, that was what I wanted too. Then what was there to think? Well, we had to think of a good strategy to achieve our goal. I started thinking seriously.
The first thing that hit my mind was a doubt. I had a fleeting suspicion for quite some time that my wife Ritu was not happy with my sexual performance. By going for such barter, should I not be careful; lest I lose my dear wife to Dev? Dev was virile, strong and could be better than me in bed. Suppose Ritu falls in love with Dev?
But that was not possible, because Dev also loved his wife too much. Then he had to think of his daughter too. Ritu and I also had our son Munnu. So there were too many obstacles in that happening. My doubt was adequately addressed.
But yes, there was one more thing to think about. After the veil of shame was removed, it is likely that Ritu might want to get fucked by Dev again and again or Dev might like to fuck Ritu again and again. I consoled myself thinking that both Ritu and Dev are sensible persons. Dev treated me as his elder brother and he would not do anything that could hurt our relationship. If they want to fuck, they would not do it without my knowledge and permission and if they do it with my permission, I had no problem in their fucking.
I knew that out of the two, Ritu was much more sensible. She would not do anything rash to hurt our married life. She was also like a tigress. If she lost her temper, she would not waste a minute to throw Dev out of the house. She was powerful enough to control Dev. In the past too she had dealt firmly with Dev. Dev was also afraid of his wife. All four of us would check the other if the time came. Thus there were at least three checks to prevent anyone from going out of control; if we do not consider our kids, that is. Thus all my concerns were suitably addressed. Besides, I knew that Ritu loved me too much to risk our married life. She very well knew the difference between love and sex. Finally I brushed off the clutter of doubts with a single argument that if I kept on thinking too much, I would never be able to move forward. Now the main challenge remained of making our wives accept our ideas favourably.
Then a thought cropped up in my mind. Women are inherently jealous. They would never be able to see their husband fuck another woman, even if her husband was fucking her. If we try and convince one, then the other might back out or create obstacles. Besides, there will always be that question, why should I be the first? Let the other one take the initiative. This was a big question.
Then suddenly a solution flashed in mind. Why not Dev and I work on one wife first and get her to a situation, where she succumbs to our temptation and accepts to be shared. Then the three including the wife shared, will work on the one wife remaining. It would not be difficult to break through the resistance of the other wife, because the first wife will be our supporter. This seemed like a very workable solution. Besides, I was not prepared to wait to see Dev fuck Ritu with me in a threesome.
Having worked so hard to remove suspicions from Ritu's mind for Dev and bring Dev and Ritu closer, I did not want to let this opportunity slip away. I was going crazy at the thought of getting my wife Ritu fucked by a virile male with me. I wanted see how the other male fucks her, how she reacts to the other male fucking her, how many orgasms she has and how I fuck her with the other male working on her breasts or feeding his cock in her mouth. I was desperate to get another male in our bed. And I saw Dev as that male. He was willing and so was I. Besides, he is bound to keep our illicit relationship under wraps in his own interest.
Dev and I had softened up my wife a little towards Dev. However, for our plan to succeed, we had to break the wall of Ritu's remaining resistance completely. I knew Dev's craze for my wife. I was convinced that with Dev's reputation, if Dev found even a little bit of positive vibe from Ritu, he will not spare her. If he senses a little bit of weakening of her resistance, he will somehow persuade her, entice her, convince her and do everything possible to lead her to a situation where she might agree to get fucked by him. But we had to make sure that nothing went wrong.
It should not happen, that after all the work done, Ritu snapped up and the whole game plan came crashing down.
First thing I had to do was to fix Dev's name repeatedly in my wife's mind as a wonderful sexy person and try and make her desire for him. Therefore I had to keep repeating Dev's name in sexual way to titillate my wife Ritu. The next evening at bed time, when Ritu was tired and ready to go to sleep, I took out the envelope that Dev had given me, which contained Devika and Dev's sexy poses and handed it to Ritu. I told her that those were the pictures of Dev with his wife Devika on their honeymoon.
I slyly watched Ritu through a corner of my eyes flipping through the pictures, one after another. I noticed that she did not pay much attention to Devika's semi nude pictures. However, she stopped and keenly scrutinised Dev's pictures; standing almost naked wearing just a tiny loin cloth type sexy shorts, showing a huge bulge out between his legs, covering his engorged cock.
As if I did not notice her interest in Dev's pictures, I told Ritu, "Darling, you know, when Dev caught me looking closely at Devika's half naked pictures on the beach; I felt acutely embarrassed. I apologised to Dev for watching Devika's half nude pictures. Do you know what Dev told me in reply?"
Trying to control her eagerness, Ritu asked me, "What did he say?"
I said, "Dev said, so what if I had seen Devika's half nude pictures? A lot many people on the beach on that day saw her half nude in that bikini. He said, those people were outsiders, but you and I are his intimately close persons. He said that we should not differentiate between our two couples. Relationship between Devika and me and Dev and you should be the same as between couples. We should not differentiate between each other. Do you know what that means?"
Ritu said innocently, "Of course, he is right. We are now so close that we should not get into formalities like earlier. That is why now I do not hesitate to accept gifts from Dev or asking Dev to get some groceries or vegetables in your absence. I don't mind his coming home even when you are away. He has become one of us. So he is right isn't he? What is there to understand?"
I pinched my simple wife's cheeks and said, "My silly wify. Think harder. There was a deep meaning, hidden in his sentence."
Ritu kept looking blankly and questioningly at me.
I felt frustrated at my wife's simplicity. I said, "Oh God! Look at my silly wife! You still do not understand? What Dev meant was that you should not differentiate between me and him and Devika should not differentiate between me and Dev. Which means you should treat Dev same as you treat me, meaning as your husband and Devika should treat me also as her husband. He subtly pointed that any of us can fuck the other's wife and that we can exchange our wives. He pointed at what is called "Wife Swap".
There was a sudden change on my wife's face. She looked shocked as the meaning of my sentence dawned upon her. She said in an agitated voice, "This is very strange! It is ok to flirt a little here and there with each other's wife. But exchange? What nonsense! It is very wrong of Dev to say that, if he meant what you think he did. But I feel that perhaps he did not mean what you have interpreted. I have a suspicion that you have made this all up to malign Dev. Poor Dev, he is so simple! He is impulsive yes, but cunning? I do not think he is cunning."
I laughed in my sleeve. Dev and simple? This established that Dev was hitting at my wife and his hits were on target. He had adequately impressed my simple wife with his simplicity and guile. Whatever outright flirting he did; Ritu thought that to be his impulsiveness. Dev was doing his job well. He was able to make his prey (Ritu) unsuspecting of him. I saw a great hope for success of my plan.
I then asked Ritu, "Do you know what else Dev said?" Ritu looked at me wanting to hear it. I said, "Dev asked me if I had your half nude pictures, would I not have shared them with him? What could I have done? I said, yes I would have."
When Ritu heard that, she looked at me perplexed. Her face reddened. She blushed. She was unable to meet me eye to eye. She was in deep thought for a while. After that she broke her silence, "If you had such pictures of mine, would have shown them to Dev? That would not have been fair. Well, in any case, there is no such picture of mine. So what are you going to show him? We never went to honeymoon." There was a distinct sign of disappointment in her voice.
I tried to console her. I said, "Anyway we can still have such pictures taken, if you agree."
"So that you could show them to Dev?" Ritu asked.
"That, I will have to do, because I have promised Dev. Would you have objection to that?" I paused for desired effect. And then for greater effect; I said, "But wait, you don't have to do that; because you have done even better than that. You have shown Dev your half naked body; when he saw you wrapped in a towel in our house. Haven't you?"
Ritu remained silent. She slipped closer to me. Hearing about that incident from me, she was aroused. I realised that I had a key to arouse my wife Ritu. Whenever I wanted to arouse her, I just have to start some sexy anecdote of Dev. Many times thereafter, I had to fabricate some imaginary talk I had with Dev on sexual topic. That would set my wife on fire. She did not realise that I was making up stories to make her hot and then to make her a willing fuck partner.
Having come so far, then was the time for me to move ahead to take the matter to its logical conclusion. I started thinking hard, what should I do to move forward. But I had not to do much. Things were moving automatically.
One Sunday, Dev dropped by in the morning; on his way to his office. I was watching a very interesting match on the TV. Ritu was working in the kitchen. Dev was not very keen to watch the TV and was leafing through the newspaper. I heard Ritu calling me from the kitchen. She wanted me to bring down a box containing wheat flour from the shelf above the kitchen platform. She said she could not reach it. I was engrossed on watching the game. I told her that I would send Dev who would get the box from the shelf. She was annoyed at me for that. She shouted back saying that it was my responsibility; the match could wait.
I asked Dev to go and get the box from the shelf. Dev happily went to the kitchen and offered his help. However, my wife was furious at my indifference. She said obstinately that she did not want any body's help; she would get the box down herself. The platform was a bit high. She raised one leg to reach the kitchen platform. At that time, Ritu was wearing a saree. As soon as she rested her one leg on the platform, her saree and petticoat slipped down exposing her naked thigh almost up to between her legs showing a part of her panty to the feasting eyes of Dev.
She saw the expression on Dev's face looking lustfully at her naked thighs. She quickly brought her leg down and corrected her dress. She looked helpless. Dev offered once again that he would get the box down; but Ritu was adamant that only she would bring the box down.
Then in one sudden impulsive move, Dev caught Ritu's shoulders, turned her around and inserted his two arms through the armpits of my wife from behind her. He grabbed her tight, cupped her breasts hard, pulled her tight onto his body, knelt down and applied full upward thrust behind her to lift her up. My lovely wife was too stunned to react; but she managed to land on the platform. She stood on the kitchen platform visibly trembling and unsteady.
My God! When I heard of this incident, my cock hardened and it started oozing out pre-cum; thinking how Dev must have taken the golden opportunity to squeeze my wife's breasts after he inserted his arms through the armpits of my wife from behind her. How he would have pushed his engorged cock from behind her to poke her ass, yet feigning that it was all a part of his duty.
With some difficulty, Ritu managed to lift the box of flour in her hands. However, she was unable to maintain her balance. Dev sounded a word of caution from down, saying, "Bhabhi, be careful, lest you might fall." He enveloped Ritu's legs in his arms in an attempt to steady her.
However, the result was opposite. Before Dev could complete the sentence, my wife Ritu stumbled and fell right on top of Dev. In turn Dev also slipped and fell down. As both fell, Dev took care to hold my wife Ritu tight into his arms from behind her to absorb her fall, so she did not hit the hard floor. The lid of the flour box flung open, spilling all of the flour on both of them. Hearing my wife's shrieks and all the commotion, I rushed to the kitchen and saw a highly erotic scene playing out on the kitchen floor.
Dev lay on his back on the floor. My wife was on top in Dev's lap, with her back on him. Dev's arms had enveloped my wife's body fully from behind her, pulling her tightly onto him. Dev's hands cupped and squeezed my wife's two ripe, full breasts with impunity. Ritu's ass was centred right on Dev's cock. My wife's saree and petticoat had been pulled up well above her thighs. It looked almost as if Dev had pulled her dress up and was preparing to fuck her from behind. Most of the flour had fallen on Dev. His face and eyes were fully covered with the spilled flour. The flour had also fallen all over his dress and the rest of his body.
I clapped and laughed and said, "My God! What an erotic scene, right out of a porn flick."
Ritu quickly got up removing Dev's hands from her breasts and adjusting her dress properly. She was flustered. Dev got up after her. He said, 'Sorry Raj, all this was so sudden and unexpected."
My wife Ritu composed herself and almost cried admonishing me, "Raj, This is entirely your fault. I called you to help me. But you had no time; watching that stupid match. You asked your friend to help me and look what he has done."
I retorted back in mock anger, "Has he done this? Is it his fault at all? Poor fellow helped you. You fell on him and it was Dev who absorbed your fall. Just imagine, what would have happened; if he was not there? You would have fallen on the floor and could have broken your bones. Then we would have been rushing at this time to take you to a hospital. And you say it is his fault? Why all this? It was just because I could not come and help you and I sent Dev instead. Was it such a big issue that you were so cross with me? You could have allowed Dev to take down the flour box from the upper shelf. He could have done it easily with his height. Darling, it is not fair to avoid accepting your own fault."
My poor wife Ritu had tears in her eyes. She said remorsefully, "You are right Raj. I behaved like a brat. I am so sorry. I made a mistake and I must correct it." Then turning in Dev's direction, she said, "Please forgive me Dev. I am sorry for blaming you although you tried to help me. I shall wash your dress and let me clear your face." As she said this, she lifted a corner of her saree to clean Dev's face.
I laughed in my sleeve and saw a golden opportunity to get Dev and my wife closer once again. I stopped her. I told Ritu, "Not here. Look what you have done to Dev's dress. Poor fellow was dressed to go to his office from here. His dress is full of flour. His eyes are covered with flour. He can hardly see. Don't clean him here. You will spread all the flour on the floor. You might need water to clean properly. Take him to the washroom; carefully wipe all the flour from his face, eyes and from his dress too and then you may wash his dress."
Ritu looked at me bewildered at my suggestion. She was perhaps wondering why I was asking her to go to the washroom with Dev; which might encourage Dev to flirt with her. However, I cut her thought short and said, "Don't look at me like that. You both look like circus jokers. You wanted to return the favour didn't you? So go and. Clean him up and clean up yourself. I am going to watch the match. Ok?"
Ritu dumbly nodded her head ruefully and took Dev's hand to lead him to our washroom. I pretended to return to the drawing room to watch the match.
Dev played his part well. I was not sure if with all the flour on his face, Dev could see properly or not. However, he meekly (or happily) followed my wife Ritu to the bathroom. While following her he took his hand away from her and rested both his hands on my wife's waist as he followed her. He dropped his hand once on her bums and caressed them pretending as if he stumbled on the way. Ritu stopped for a second when he did that but then moved on. Ritu went in first followed by Dev.
I quietly moved over to the bathroom door after they entered. I peeped in through the partially closed door and saw that my wife stood with a small towel in her hand adjusting herself and Dev in the bathroom space. Her shapely ass covered under the saree was towards me. I could see them clearly from outside. However, because I was in the dark they could not see me and anyway, they both were too excitedly busy with themselves to notice me.
Dev stood straight facing my wife Ritu. He had kept his flour covered eyes shut. Dev stood straight. In the bathroom too Dev's hands gripped Ritu's waist as if he wanted to keep his balance. In the compact space, it was almost as if Ritu was in his arms. There was hardly in gap between them. It was only minutes ago that Dev had grabbed my wife's sumptuous breasts over her blouse and poked his cock onto Ritu's ass (of course over her dress). That must have made his cock rock hard. I saw his cock standing tight and upright in his trousers. It made a big tent, I was not sure if my wife felt Dev's cock bulging out of his trousers almost poking into her body.
Dev pulled my wife closer, pretending that in the small space, he was unsteady. Ritu appeared too hassled to pay notice to Dev's overtures. She turned a little. I could see her face then. She carefully wiped flour off Dev's face first and then his eyes and asked Dev if he could see. Dev rubbed his eyes and said that some flour had gone into his eyes and he had burning sensation. He said it might take some time before he could see. I was not sure if that was true. He asked Ritu if in the meantime, she could wipe off the flour from his shirt and trousers.
I saw my wife Ritu start wiping the flour off Dev's neck, collars and shirt with her towel. When she was done; she asked Dev to remove his shirt and throw it in a corner for her to wash it later. Dev was wearing a sleeveless vest, which amply emphasised his athletic chest and biceps. Ritu cleaned the flour from Dev's biceps and arms. She worked clinically and no longer looked hassled. She was at ease. She casually felt Dev's biceps in her hands. She caressed them instinctively. I saw a flicker of admiration in her eyes as she felt Dev's muscles.
Some flour had fallen on Dev's neck and through that inside onto his chest. She tried to insert her hand to clean his chest. Dev realised that and quickly removed his vest too. Now Dev stood topless. Ritu looked at Dev, who had his eyes tightly closed. She wiped the flour off his chest and caressed his bulging chest and pinched his nipple casually. Dev must have felt hugely aroused, when he felt her caressing his athletic chest. I could see that from the tighter and longer flagpole that was clearing poking my wife between her legs, when Dev thrust his pelvis forward pretending to be unsteady.
She bent a little and wiped flour off Dev's waist. Then Ritu had to move back and sit down to wipe the flour off Dev's trousers. She pulled the hem of her saree to her knees and slowly placed her hips on a tiny stool. She sat on it to wipe the flour off Dev's trousers. That was when she came face to face with the huge protruding flagpole in Dev's trousers. She looked at that completely foxed.
Her mouth was level with Dev's cock. She had to wipe that area of Dev's trousers. There must have been a big turmoil in her mind, whether to touch that or not; because I saw her looking at Dev's engorged cock under his trousers intently without touching it. I was not sure whether that was a look of awe or uncertainty on her face. I looked with bated breath to see if she touched it or not.
To my surprise, Ritu quietly held Dev's trousers at that point holding his cock in her hand and wiped that and other areas around it and below. There was a clear patch of Dev's slimy pre-cum, which I was sure she could feel. She had to hold his protruding cock in her hand for a while on his trousers. As soon as Ritu finished wiping his trousers; Dev in one swift motion, slipped his trousers down completely. He was wearing a very small but loose cotton brief that was completely wet. Dev's hard and long cock stood like a flagpole in his brief. Dev's cock must be pretty long; because it protruded by at least six to seven inches out of his brief.
I could see multiple expressions on my wife's face. Her jaws fell open looking at the monstrous hard cock covered by the flimsy brief, pointing straight at her mouth. Suddenly Dev pretended to stagger and thrust his pelvis forward pushing his cock right into my wife's open mouth. Ritu gagged with the girth of Dev's cock and the cloth. She choked as she tasted Dev's pre-cum and his engorged cock in the brief inside her mouth. She sputtered. She caught Dev's cock, pushed him back and began coughing. She said softly, (so that her voice does not travel to me in the other room), "What are you doing Dev? Stand straight."
Dev said, "I am sorry, I just could not see properly and lost balance." I knew the bastard did it intentionally.
When she stood up finally, Dev opened his eyes, after pretending to rub them for a while. He saw Ritu standing close to him. After touching and gulping Dev's cock, my wife's face was flush with acute shame and embarrassment. She knew that Dev felt her holding his cock for a while and mouthing it also even if for a few seconds.
Dev saw some flour spread across Ritu's face and on her saree. He quickly snatched the towel from my wife's hands and said, "Bhabhi, Your face, saree and body are soiled with the flour too. It was good of you to help me out. Now let me also reciprocate your gesture."
Before Ritu could protest, without giving my wife Ritu the slightest opportunity; Dev started rubbing the towel on my wife's face, cheeks, neck and her breasts. Ritu stood there stunned and motionless at Dev's brazenness. Then throwing towel aside, although her breasts were rather clean, Dev inserted his hand inside Ritu's blouse and bra and kept rubbing and squeezing them audaciously.
My wife was breathing hard at this sudden and entirely unexpected development. Her breasts were heaving up and down making a stunningly erotic sight with Dev cupping and squeezing them merrily. My wife must have been in terrible dilemma. She did not want to shout because she did not want me rushing down to the bathroom and see them once again in that condition.
She caught Dev's hands and said in a low voice, "Dev, what are you doing? Stop it. Raj is in the drawing room. He may come here any moment and see us like this."
Dev in a sudden movement took my wife Ritu in his arms tightly and placed his lips on her and started kissing her hard. He held her boobs tight in his hands and said, "Bhabhi, I am so sorry. I am helpless. Please bhabhi, please don't say no. At least let me kiss you. I am unable to control myself. I assure you bhaiya will not know this."
For a moment I saw my wife's resistance crumbling as she started responding to Dev's kisses. But then suddenly Ritu gave a hard shove to Dev and threw him off balance. She steadied herself, adjusted her saree and blouse and slowly climbed over the bucket that was coming her way out of the bathroom. I rushed back to the drawing room, pretending to watch the match. (I must admit that I had actually seen a better match in the bathroom).
When Ritu came out to the drawing room, I could detect acute embarrassment written all over her face. I asked her serenely, "Why are you looking so hassled? Is everything ok?"
Ritu composed herself and for the first time lied to me in a very unconvincing manner, "Oh! Everything is fine. I will wash Dev's clothing today. He is still in the bathroom. It would be good if you gave your dress to Dev; so that he could go back to his house to change into his own clothes." As soon as she finished her sentence, she ran back to our bedroom. I suspected that she lay on bed and broke down crying after that for some time.
I went to my wardrobe, pulled out a loose fitting shirt and a trouser and gave them to Dev in the bathroom. He changed and came out. He looked ruffled also. He spoke something awkwardly and left saying that he would better go home and change into his own clothing to go to his office.
When Ritu came out of the bedroom, I could see her swollen eyes suggesting that she had cried. I called her in my arms and hugged her tightly. When I bent to kiss her, she offered her lips. When I asked her again, "Is there anything you want to tell me?" She replied that she would talk to me in the evening.
I did not open the topic about Dev and Ritu's bathroom adventure when we went to bed. However, my wife appeared quite sombre and said to me, "Raj, darling, I have to tell you something important."
I looked at her inquisitively, although I almost knew what she was going to say. She had tears in her eyes as she said, "In the morning, when you asked me if everything was ok, I lied. Everything was not ok."
My lovely wife narrated the whole thing that happened between Dev and her in the bathroom almost as it had happened except about Dev's pushing his cock in her mouth and his fondling her breasts by inserting his hands into her blouse. She concluded by saying that in the end something more had happened that she felt too awkward to speak.
I laughed and asked her, "I know that Dev could not have fucked you in the bathroom. Then what happened?"
Ritu relaxed seeing me laughing. She poked me in the rib, smiling and said it was nothing like that. Then I asked her, "Did he kiss you?"
She laughed again embarrassed and said, "Your brother is very naughty. Yes, he pushed his lips on mine and did peck my lips; But I did not allow him to kiss me really." Well! I knew that it was half truth. Dev had kissed her hard, even if for a short while.
I took her in my arms and said, "Look darling. Dev did not fuck you and did not kiss you. The best he could have done next was probably to fondle your breasts or to make you touch his cock. Are you so much worked up for that?"
My coy wife came into my arms, made me bend down to kiss her and then asked me, "Shouldn't I be?" With that sentence, she removed her dress and began to undress me. I could see that she was real horny.
She took all the initiative to take my tongue into her mouth and making me fuck her mouth with my tongue. She was highly aroused at the talk of their bathroom adventures of the morning. That night we fucked like rabbits. As we were fucking, she stopped me at one point and said that she wanted to give me a gift. I looked at her surprised. She knelt down on her knees in doggy position and asked me to fuck her ass. I was completely baffled.
Earlier, whenever I had begged her to let me fuck her ass; she always refused. She said that she didn't like it. But that night she willingly offered her ass to me. I oiled her ass and liberally lubricated my cock and Gosh! What a fuck that turned out to be! Both of us cummed several times that night. I rarely saw her aroused like I saw her that night. That was the miraculous result of her adventure of the morning with Dev and I was delighted that my devious plan was going according to schedule.
Some weeks passed by uneventfully until holi festival. This was one festival when people apply colours on others. Usually people try to do this moderately. This is one occasion when some married males tend to take liberties with their female crushes; particularly other's wives by applying colours on their cheeks, head, neck etc. A few adventurous persons go beyond that too.
At about 11 am, I came out of the house, putting on a soiled old dress and joined our neighbours in the park. Men, women and children were chatting, laughing, talking and applying colour on each other. There was impromptu song and dance program by children too. Some were distributing sweets snacks etc. Ritu was in the house, getting ready to come out.
I saw Dev entering our society's gate. I did not see his wife with him. I said 'Hi' to him and asked him to join us. He said he wanted to pee and asked if anybody was home. I told him Ritu was in the house. He said that he would join me soon and went to my apartment.
After some time, Dev came out and spent a few minutes with us and then left. He would have barely crossed the society gate, when I saw Ritu rushing to me. Her face was flushed and barely visible. She was coloured all over. Her hair, face, neck, saree, blouse were fully coloured.
She looked greatly hassled. When she came near me I asked her what the matter was. She caught my hand and almost dragged me to our flat. When we went inside, she started crying. She said, "Darling, it is your brother and friend Dev; you know what he did today?"
I asked her what he did that she looked so harassed.
She said, "Look at me. Your friend painted me all over. He applied colour to my hair, neck, blouse, waist and whole of Saree. Not only that, you know what he did? He came from behind me and caught me from behind and inserted his hands in my blouse and bra and coloured my breasts fully. He not only coloured my breasts, he squeezed them so hard, that they are paining. This is not good. I shouted at him, but he would not listen. He kept on saying "Bura Na Mano Holi Hai" (It is Holi, so don't mind). How could he do this?"
Her face must have been red even without the entire colour on her. However, from the way she talked I realized that she must have been really hassled by Dev. I decided to take on Ritu to check, if she felt really bad and hated Dev for it or this was just her ploy to get it all off her chest (breasts?).
I said, "Look honey. This is holi and all males take their hibernating crush for desirable females out on this day. You know that Dev has crush on you and he took the opportunity to take it out on you today. That is why they say, DON'T MIND IT IS HOLI. And this is just one day in a year honey! So why are you so upset about it?"
Ritu looked at me quizzically, as if I had said something blasphemous.
She replied, "That is ok, but you cannot condone taking out your crush like this. One cannot hurt the other person's modesty in the name of 'CRUSH'. That is not done. You must talk to him not to behave like this."
I was not sure if she was really upset or pretending to be so. I thought I shall put a teaser to check what was actually going on in her mind. I said, "Honey, on second thought, I think you are right. Whatever crush one may have, one should not take it out in this manner. I think Dev needs to be taught a lesson. Let me talk to Dev straight away and take him to task for his disgusting behaviour. I may even terminate our relations with them, so we do not have situation like that in future."
As soon as I said this, my simple wife was alarmed. Her face expressions changed to those of panic. She feared that I would really admonish Dev seriously and perhaps go to the extent of breaking relations with him. She caught my hand and said, "Raj, hold on, just a minute. On second thought, I think I was wrong and you were right. I think Dev was drunk and perhaps did not realise that he was crossing a limit. Besides, as you say that men take their crush out on Holi, perhaps he did this today. I think you need not be too harsh on him. In fact, I think, it is better that you do not talk to him at all. I shall talk to him. I don't think he meant it. Let us not hurt our relationship with them for such a trivial thing. Forget about what I said. May be I was overreacting."
I laughed at my wife's simplicity. She was unable to hide her crush for Dev too. I was happy the way things were progressing. She considered Dev's fondling of her boobs as a trivial matter was a great departure from her earlier attitude. I told her, "Look, let us not cover this up now. I am not sure that you are saying this by heart. Perhaps you are saying this just to please me. Aren't you?" I looked at her.
When she didn't answer, as if with great deal of reluctance, I said, "I am not sure that I should drop the matter just like that. I feel that I should tell Dev straight forward to behave properly with you in future. But if you insist, then I might consider dropping the matter." Instead of giving me an answer, she said, "We shall talk about that at bedtime. Shall we?"
In the night, I teased her why Dev kept fondling her boobs whenever he had half a chance. I asked her to describe the sequence of events. She told me in detail how coming from behind her, Dev grabbed her in his arms from behind and almost tearing off her blouse and bra, how he grabbed both breasts in his hands and fondled them and squeezed them so hard that they started to pain. She said that she was unsteady and that she stumbled and fell almost in his lap.
When I asked her if she felt his cock poking on her butts, she punched me in the ribs and blushed profusely, but did not reply. When I jokingly told her that I would certainly take it up with Dev, she laughed it off. As result of our conversation, she became so hot that she gave me a wonderful treat that night. She sucked my cock and gave me a wonderful blow job. She climbed on top of me and fucked me excitedly. I knew that her libido had woken from deep slumber. That was another night when she even offered her ass to me. I was pretty sure then that Dev was on target.
After we finished, I asked her. "Ritu darling, since you are so frank and open with me, I have one admission to make."
Ritu looked at me inquisitively with a little bit of surprise and concern on her pretty face. I said, "In my life, as I had told you earlier also, I have fucked many women. I feel terribly guilty because of that reason."
Ritu asked, "Why? I have never questioned you for that. I do not really want to know whom you fucked. I do not even want to know whom you are fucking now, because I love you. I know that sex and love are different. I have read that majority of men are highly sexed. After so many years, men get bored with the monotony. Sometimes I too feel less interest in sex these days. I don't blame you if you have fucked some willing pussy once in a while, if and when you got a chance. I have no issues with it as long as I know that you love me and that there is no attachment with any other woman. Of course, I forbid you to go to prostitutes. I have told you this earlier also. So why are you feeling guilty?"
I said, "Because I do not want to enjoy this extra marital sex alone. I want you to enjoy this too."
She looked at me quizzically. She asked, "What?..... Why? I am happy being your sex partner. I do not want sex with anyone else. I allow you freely to have sex with anyone you like. But why do you want me to enjoy sex with anyone else? How do you know I will enjoy sex with anyone else? I fully enjoy sex with you and I don't think I will enjoy sex with anyone else."
For a moment I was dejected at her rejecting my proposal outright. Then suddenly I realized that she said that 'SHE DID NOT THINK, she would enjoy sex with anyone else. She did not say bluntly that she will not enjoy sex with anyone else. She was not overwhelmingly negative about it.
In India they say that if you propose sex to an Indian woman and she says, "I will not do it' implies that she might do it. If she says "I don't think I will do it", means she will do it. and if she says 'she will do it', then she is not Indian."
I remembered this golden rule and realized that it was not an outright rejection. There was still a possibility. A thought flashed in my mind. I asked, "How can you say so surely that you will not enjoy sex with anyone else?"
She replied sombrely, "Because I know that."
"And suppose I prove you wrong then?" I asked.
Now my wife was thoughtful. Then she reluctantly said, "That is not possible."
"But what if I am right?" I insisted on my point.
"Well, then I will accept your judgement and do whatever you tell me." She said in low voice that betrayed her lack of conviction.
I said, "Ok, you just said that you too find less interest in sex these days. What you omitted to admit was that you find less interest in sex with me; because it has become monotonous. Secondly, what I ask you is, please tell me the truth. You have always been truthful with me and I am sure this time too you will tell me the truth and nothing but the truth." I paused for her answer.
My wife was quick on the draw. She said, "I swear, I shall tell you the truth."
I asked, "Did you not enjoy Dev's body contact the first time, when you danced intimately in the party with him, second time when he caught you in tight embrace when you were in a towel, third time when you fell down on top of him in the kitchen and he fondled your breasts, fourth time in the bathroom and lastly today morning, when again he fondled your breasts? Be honest to yourself. I will not feel bad at all if you say that you did enjoy his body touch."
For the first time I saw my wife's face expressions turn so guilty. Tears welled up in her eyes. She did not expect that she would be made to confront her inner self so forthrightly. She was cornered. She had to tell me the truth. She collapsed on the bed folding her hands and said, "Raj, I shall accept any punishment you decide. I admit that I was sexually aroused. I will not say that it did not affect me. Yes I am guilty."
I lovingly pulled her up in my arms and said, "You are not guilty. Your reactions were natural. This is what I wanted to convey to you. Males and females have the same sexual urge, the same chemistry and the same animal instincts. However, females keep their sexual instincts suppressed for three reasons. Firstly they are restrained by the male dominated society's one sided norms. They are afraid of being branded immoral. Secondly, in an emotional, carefree intercourse, women are afraid that they may conceive, which would create problems for them. Thirdly men are physically stronger and therefore women are afraid (rightly so) that they may be physically abused." I paused and looked at my wife. She was listening to me with rapt attention.
I continued, "However, wherever women feel fully secure, they display that their libido is as strong, if not stronger than men. They are as much polygamous as men. They want to be fucked by more than one man just as men want to fuck more than one woman."
Ritu was taken aback at my frank analysis. She had no words to say. I knew that she agreed with me. However, she was quiet for a while and said after some time, "I don't know really."
Then she said meekly, "Ok, I get your point. Perhaps you are right. But believe me, I never thought like that for Dev or anyone else for that matter. But then I have a point here too. As you know the bond of marriage is tied through a delicate thin thread of trust. If this thread gets snapped, then a marriage can crash. I love you and do not want to take that risk. Having sex with another person might strain that thread and the thread may snap. You are encouraging me to have sex with someone else. That has dangerous implications. Suppose I enjoy sex with someone else and want to do it again and again, then? Will our marriage not be stressed?"
I was happy that I was able to bring my wife to a situation where she was seriously considering the possibility of being fucked by another man (meaning Dev, without naming him). I had the answer ready.
I said, "Darling just imagine, if Dev had indeed fucked you when you were almost standing naked in front of him in the towel, that morning; do you think I would have left you? Or do you think you would have left me? Honey, a marriage is more than sex. You know it. We are not husband and wife just because we fuck. As you say, I have fucked women and you have accepted it; because you know I love you. You have just now said that sex and love are different. We are tied not just through sex. We are tied through our families, society, and children and most importantly love and trust. It is true that once love and trust is finished, marriage falls apart. But I will not stop loving you, just because you were or will be fucked by Dev with my knowledge on my advice. I know you would not hurt my trust and ignore my love. Am I right darling?"
I innocently dropped Dev's name in the conversation to see my wife's reaction. She quietly nodded her head. For me that was her tacit approval of my statement. I knew then that I was going to achieve my goal. However, I could not take things for granted. I wanted her positive seal of approval. I started thinking of a devilish plan to make her agree to do it feigning that she had no choice. I hit upon a bright idea that might just work.
Dev told me that his wife Devika had left for Delhi to her parents during Holi with their daughter. He was also going to join them for two days and will come back thereafter leaving Devika to stay there for the next two more weeks. He hinted to me if he could try his hand at Ritu during that period. I told him I had some idea. We talked some more about that before parting. Dev left soon after for Delhi.
That evening during bed time, I told Ritu with a great deal of concern in my voice, "Darling, there has been a big problem." Ritu asked me what it was.
I said, "Although you had told me that you had forgiven Dev for that incident of Holi and I had also reluctantly agreed to drop the matter; I was just not able to forget your anguish of that day completely. When Dev phoned me up for something three days back I told him that you were very disturbed about his deeds on Holi day. As bad luck would have it, while I was talking to him, Devika came on phone line and heard about that incident as well my chastising Dev for that."
When I was speaking I could see Ritu's eyebrows stretching. She didn't say anything but urged me to continue. I said, "Devika asked me what had actually happened and she swore that if I didn't tell her the truth, she would break relations with us. I had no choice but to tell her that Dev was drunk and had misbehaved with you and fondled your breasts. I told her that you had forgiven Dev but Devika was very upset. The whole hell has broken loose now. Devika is very upset. She apologized to me for Dev's behaviour and cut the phone. The same day Devika packed her bags in a huff and left for Delhi with their daughter to her parent's home. Dev also left for Delhi the next day trying to persuade Devika to come back. He stayed in Delhi for two days and has just returned unsuccessful and depressed. I didn't tell you about it earlier, because I didn't know how to."
Ritu was shell shocked hearing that. She looked very upset and almost shouted at me saying, "What on earth did you do darling? That too after we talked about it in so much detail? How could you be so stupid?"
I said defensively, "But you... were very much offended...."
Ritu cut me short and said, "So what? Sometimes we all act impulsively. But later I retracted my statement didn't I? Yes he fondled my breasts and that was not right; but then he had done it several times earlier too. He is an impulsive person. As you said, he let out of his crush on me in that form. You also knew that he even made me hold his big thing in the bathroom once; of course covered under his shorts. At that time you did not say anything. Then why for God's sake did you talk to him about this now?"
I pretended to be shaken. I stood dumbly and was silent for a while. Then I said apologetically, "I am sorry darling. It was stupid on my part. But done is done. What do we do now? I talked to Dev after he reached Delhi. He said he will try to manage the situation with Devika. But poor fellow could not; because he was sent back. He could not pacify Devika. She is refusing to return. I hope she doesn't slap Dev with a divorce notice. Dev is completely shocked, broken and deflated. I called him up to apologize. But he is very much cut off with me and perhaps with you too. He just said hello, hi! etc. but refused to talk further."
My sweet wife was concerned. She said, "Raj, you have really messed up this. Now how do we get out of this?"
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I don't know how to. I did my best. If you can think of any solution, you are welcome. After all, you know how Dev's mind works better than me."
After a long and thoughtful pause she snapped her fingers and said, "Ok. Let us see how we can resolve this. I have an idea. You do one thing. You call him over today evening under some pretext. Tell him we shall go out to see a movie or have dinner outside and have the whole evening together. If possible he could stay with us overnight; as he is alone any way. Assure him that what happened was a big misunderstanding and that I have asked you to convey to him that that Holi incident was nothing to worry about and I am not at all cross with him."
She paused to look at me. I nodded my head and asked her to go on. She carried on, "Please do what you can to convince him to come over. Then when he comes, I shall try to set right his mood. I know how to bring him back in his mood. After all, as you said, he has a crush on me doesn't he?"
My simple wife Ritu ended her statement with a mischievous smile on her face. She thought she had found a solution. I knew that a solution was offered to him on a platter.
I tried to suppress my delight and said, "I shall try to call him over. I hope he agrees to come. There is a world cup match late tonight. Dev does not miss it for his life. I shall tell him that we shall all watch the game together tonight. He can then sleep the whole morning. However, first I don't know if he will agree to come at all and if he does, I don't know how you will set him right with your over reactive and negative attitude."
Ritu was relieved with my assurance and said forthrightly, "Well, let me worry about that. You just try and bring him over. Leave the rest to me. By the way, have your drinks ready. I shall make some special snacks."
I asked, "Will you also join us for drinks?" and then I added, "Just a suggestion. You know Dev once mentioned that he craved to see you in an exciting outfit. How about a demo today evening, if you don't mind?" She said smiling, "As I said, you bring him here and leave the rest to me."
Here after Ritu wants to narrate the story of our experiences until the end.
RITU SAYS:
When Dev came that evening, he looked morose and depressed. I felt really sad for him. Although I was excited that he had agreed to come. I wished I had not made that outburst on the day of Holi. Frankly, Dev's fondling my boobs was a huge erotic experience for me too. It was ethically unfair of me to shout then. My husband Raj took my outburst seriously and acted on it, causing all that mess. I decided that I was primarily responsible for the mess and I had to clear it.
I received Dev at our door. Dev touched my husband's feet first. He always did when he met him after some days. Raj raised him up, hugged him and went in the drawing room leaving Dev and me outside. Dev looked at me but kept quiet. His face was sullen. I extended my arms to him. He was hesitant at first and then came into my arms keeping some distance. He said, "Bhabhi, I am sorry about that incident. Will you please forgive me? I promise you I shall not do so in future."
I looked behind. Raj was not in sight. I whispered back in Dev's ears, "I will forgive you only if you withdraw your promise of not doing so in future. Remember what you told Raj, that we are all the same? We should not differentiate between each other?"
My one sentence brightened up Dev's face momentarily. But then he again lapsed into his morose state. I felt that he was still unsure of me. He was not as forthcoming as I knew him to be. He asked, "Bhabhi don't show me the moon and then throw me in the dust bin; like you did. Tell me bhabhi. Why did you do this to me?"
I caught his hand and squeezed it. I said sorrowfully, "Dev, I am so very sorry, I was impulsive. But I promise, I will make it up to you. Trust me. Try me, if you are not sure. What about Devika? How is she taking this?"
Dev said, "Devika is very disturbed. I hope she will come around in time."
I said, "Don't worry about Devika. Leave her to me. When she comes here, I shall straighten out her mood. But first I need to straighten out your mood."
Dev said, "Bhaibhi, you have already straitened me out. There is nothing to be straightened now."
I said, "Come on. We shall see about that. Let's forget about what happened. You are here and that is important for us. Will you stay the night?"
Dev was forthright. He said, "No bhabhi. I would rather go. I don't want to disturb you. Besides, I don't want to cause you any more embarrassment than what I have already done. I am like a monkey who never improves. I don't know if I stay and do something silly, it will cause you problems."
I pulled Dev in my arms and hugged him tight and said, "I like this monkey. Look Dev! This is enough yaar! Don't rub salt in my wound. I have already said, I am very sorry for what I did and for what Raj did. What more do you want me to do to make you forgive me? You want that I should not react to your flirting, right? Well, I have also replied to that. By all means play your monkey tricks tonight. As I already said, go ahead; try me. But promise me, you won't go away."
Dev's expressions changed a bit at my assurance. He said, "Bhabhi, do you promise me that you will be with us through and through and will not hesitate to join us in all that we do?"
I said mischievously, "Don't ask me. As I said, try me."
With my positive assurance, Dev's face brightened up. He seemed to have regained some of his original flirty self. I had put on a short skirt and fluffy tight cotton top. My full breasts jutted out of the top prominently, catching his eye balls. He swept his gaze all over me and said, "Bhabhi you look stunning and radiant as ever in this lovely dress."
That dress was gifted by Dev on my previous birthday some time back. I said, "This was your choice."
Dev replied mischievously, "And Bhabhi so are you."
Dev kept staring at me all over that sent chill along my spine. Dev hugged me delightedly and a little more intimately as we went in.
Dev had brought a crate of beer, a bottle of whisky for Raj and flowers for me. He presented the bottles to Raj and bowed before me to present the flowers. I thanked him smilingly and accepted the flowers.
Our son Munnu had just returned from the tuition. I asked out maid to put him to sleep at about 8.30 pm and wait for us to return. Dev played with Munnu for a while, told him a story and then we left for dinner leaving our son in the maid's care.
We called an auto-rickshaw in which three persons can manage to squeeze in. We went to a restaurant for dinner. We were seated around a small circular table. Dev was still not his normal self. He did catch and squeeze my hand several times, but that was all. I was afraid of getting my thighs pinched under the table. However, Dev looked lost and forlorn. He was not Dev that I knew earlier.
We took a taxi at about 10 pm, on our way back home. To guide the driver, Raj sat in front and Dev and I had to sit at the back. When the seating arrangement was decided by Raj, I was happy that I would get some time to sit with Dev to ease his mood. Luckily, it was too dark inside the cab for Raj or the driver to see behind. Under normal circumstances, Dev would not have missed a trick in the book to grope me. However, he sat sulking, keeping a bit of distance from me.
I had to set right Dev first and then work to resolve their husband wife internal issues, created by that stupid call my hubby had made. I moved towards Dev and had my thigh touching his. I took his hand in mine and rubbing it warmly I said, "What has happened to my tiger? Until yesterday this tiger was roaring. Why suddenly has it turned into a wimp?" There was no reaction from Dev, although he responded to my rubbing his hand by holding my hand warmly. That was good enough for me.
I leaned on him and hissed in his ears, "Will you not forgive your dear bhabhi, for a small mistake she made? Or is it that you no longer consider me as your dear bhabhi? Do you consider me as someone not your own?" I dug my hand deeper on his thigh.
Dev shuddered visibly. He held my hand tight and said, "Bhabhi don't ever say that. You are more than just bhabhi for me. You are my dearest and most intimate personal friend and dearest bhabhi. Really, you are more than my own and that is why I have been taking these liberties with you. But then you know....." and Dev trailed into silence, holding my hand tightly between his legs.
It was too dark for anyone to notice what was happening in the backseat. On top of it, Raj asked the driver to take the taxi through dark and deserted but longer road to our house. My hubby Raj said he wanted to avoid traffic.
The driver and my hubby started talking loudly. The taxi driver kept blabbering loudly and endlessly. Dev's words and his masculinity so close to me gave me goose bumps.
I said, "Ok, so? You forgot about all that happened before? Do you think I did not know what was going on in your mind? Come on dear. Don't be a bore! Be your own self. Don't feel sorry for making that mistake. I want you to make the same mistake again and again. I also promise you I shall join in with you and shall not leave you alone tonight." I shuddered knowing that I had inadvertently given out a full-fledged invitation to Dev to flirt with me. But then I thought I had no choice.
"Bhabhi, are you sure?" Dev asked.
I said, "You bet your bums, I am." I said mischievously.
My words had the effect I knew they would have on Dev. I felt his hand creeping up my thighs. I wanted his hand to do things to me. God! I was going bonkers. When he dipped his hand between my legs, I didn't know how; but my legs spread out as if they were driven by an unknown mechanism.
Dev raised my skirt and caressed my thighs very close to my panty. When he tried to inch closer to my panty, I knew I was soaking wet there and Dev would guess my condition easily. I firmly pushed his hand away and said, "Come on monkey, be patient."
Dev knew my mind and withdrew his hand. However, he caught my hand and placed it firmly between his legs. I tried to withdraw it but couldn't. Under different circumstances, I would have hollered on him. But I didn't and that made him bolder.
In one quick movement he unzipped his fly and I felt his rock hard thick and long cock in my palm. I should have cried out. But I didn't. I should have shoved him, but I didn't. Like a woman possessed, I wrapped my fingers around his huge girth to feel the thickness of his cock in my palm. All my pretence of being a moralistic woman evaporated at that moment. His cock was much longer than my husband Raj's. It must have been about eight inches long. It was certainly thicker than my husband's. The cock was coated with his slimy pre-cum.
It looked to me as if I had no control over my actions. Like a dumb hypnotised woman, I began stroking Dev's cock lovingly. I could feel that Dev enjoyed my stroking his cock; because his grip tightened around my hand. I rotated my fingers softly around the base of his thick and long cock and occasionally pushing my palm inside his trousers opening to grab and gently caress his large testicles in my palm. Dev leaned on me and encircling my neck and shoulders reached my breasts crossing over my arms. It was pitch dark inside and the taxi driver and my hubby Raj seated in the front were talking animatedly and loudly on something about of the car, which I did not care to understand.
I did not allow Dev to uncover my breasts in spite of his repeated muffled requests in my ears. He relented and was satisfied by squeezing my breasts over my blouse and bra.
When we neared our house, I quickly retracted my hand from his pants. Whilst the taxi driver and Raj were arguing on which turn to take to get into our street, Dev leaned on me and whispered in my ears repeatedly, "Bhabhi, what about tonight? I will stay over, but you will be with me?"
I knew this was his decent way of telling me that he wanted to fuck me that night. I should have got cheesed off, however, I was so highly aroused at his repeated pleadings that I was almost on the verge of saying, "Ok, baba I will let you fuck me tonight." However, I controlled myself, held his hand tight and squeezed it several times to hint to him that I shall be with him, if he could understand me.
By the time the cab reached our house, it started raining heavily. When I got down from the taxi, I was unsteady because of high level of excitement. Dev supported me when I staggered a little as I got down. It was raining so heavily that when I rushed a distance of less than 100 feet, I was fully drenched. My nerves were on edge as I ran to our small apartment. Dev followed me also fully drenched.
I was amazed at my vulnerability. Was it my desire to get seduced by him? Did I want to get fucked by Dev right and proper? I knew I had the answer but pretended that I didn't.
My throat was dry and hands were shaking with the feel of Dev's huge cock. I was amazed at my thought process. I was a woman who never thought of considering even one of numerous solicitations from attractive men earlier. And now I was wondering how it would feel to have Dev's such a thick and long cock in my pussy. I wanted to hate myself. But there I was; too preoccupied in thinking of the possibility of sex with Dev. I shuddered excitedly at the very thought of feeling a new cock in my pussy. My husband's perverted idea of seeing me fucked by another man seemed to be nearing fruition after all.
I entered the house and let the maid go home. Munnu was already asleep in his room. We had a two bedroom apartment. One was our bed room and Munnu, our son, slept in the other room.
Raj, Dev and I were all fully soaked in water. It was a weekend. Raj took out one of his loose fitting pyjamas, gave it to Dev with a towel and said, "Dev you are wet. Here, change into this, stay over for the night and leave only tomorrow after breakfast. In any case, you will not be able to leave because it is raining cats and dogs at this time. We shall enjoy drinks. Ritu can have your wine and we shall all watch the match on TV."
Dev looked at me. I supported my husband Raj and nodded approvingly.
After a little bit of mock haggling, like, "I hope, I am not inconveniencing you," etc. Dev agreed to stay over; but he said, "Ok, I will stay, but on one condition. Ritu Bhabhi shall be with us throughout and join us in everything."
I was a bit alarmed. I asked, "What do you mean?"
Dev said, "If I stay, then we shall all be together for the night. If we have a drink then bhabhi shall also join us. She may just have one or two; but she shall join us. If we watch the TV, she will not get up and leave us. She will also see it. If we all agree to be together throughout then I shall stay; not otherwise. Raj, is that ok? Bhabhi, do you agree?"
Raj looked at me. I nodded my head in acceptance. I asked them to change and come to the drawing room. Dev went to Munnu's room to change.
Raj took me with him into our bathroom and asked me what happened in the taxi? How Dev's mood changed so much. What magic I did on him. I told him to wait and watch.
My hubby Raj made me change in front of him. I removed wet clothes one after another while my husband Raj watched keenly. When I was naked, He grabbed my breasts and fondled them hard. He also inserted his hand between my legs and fingered me for a few seconds. I moved his hand away and told him not to hurry.
Raj caressed my back lovingly and said, "Darling, you are lovely. I love you." Then as if on second thought, he asked, "Honey, did Dev appreciate your dress and tell you that you looked hot today?"
In spite of myself, I could not control my sheepish grin at Raj's comment. I said, "Darling, your brother and friend Dev, more than appreciated my looks today without saying. Poor Dev was so hot that he made me check his temperature and measured mine too." I looked mischievously at my hubby Raj. Sure Raj knew what I was talking about.
Raj pulled me up and kissed my lips hard. We must have kissed for about two minutes. I was trying to get over my nervousness. As we straightened up Raj whispered in my ears, "Honey, see how hot I am, hearing that. Let us celebrate tonight." Raj took my hand and made me feel his erection.
I pushed his hands away saying, "What are you doing? Can't you wait until we go to bed."
He asked, "When shall we go to bed?"
I said, "That will depend upon you and your brother. If you will allow me, I am ready to go to bed even now."
Raj said, "But you can't go to bed alone. You promised that we shall be together all the time."
I said, "I didn't say we shall sleep together."
Raj said, "Well, I didn't say that also. But then I think we shall have to sleep in the same room. We can't let Dev sleep in Munnu's room, which is too small. Dev can sleep on the floor in our room. We can give him a mattress, a pillow, a sheet and blanket."
I hugged my hubby and kissed him mumbling, "He can sleep on the floor, on the bed or wherever he likes. You decide that. But I shall sleep with you in bed, in your arms. I am not going to leave you. I am not going to allow you to leave my side even for a short time; whatever happens."
I gave as good a hint as I could, that Dev can also sleep with us on the bed if my hubby wants. I saw Raj's face brightening up at my tacit acceptance. He pressed me closer to him and inserting his tongue in my mouth said, "Thank you. You are my darling. I love you so much. I promise you I shall always be with you."
When I picked bra and panty, Raj in one quick motion snatched them from me and threw them away. He said, "You don't need to put them on tonight. We never put them on in the night, anyway; then, why tonight? Is it because Dev is here? Come on! He is not an outsider."
I looked at my husband helplessly and put on the night gown without any underwear. I wore one piece gown with large size flowing petticoat at the bottom. It was a big fashion in those days.
Raj and I came out of the bathroom to find Dev already standing in the drawing room setting wine, whisky and beer bottles on the small low height table with three glasses. My first gaze fell between Dev's legs. Dev had discarded his wet clothes. He was wearing my hubby's pyjama. He obviously wore no under wear and his fat, long hanging cock could be seen projecting out under the cloth shaking and rolling as he moved. His hair was wet, uncombed and curled. He looked attractive. Top buttons of his kurta were open exposing a part of his firm and bulging chest. When Dev saw me in the loose fitting gown, he looked pointedly at my body and gave me an admiring nod. I was sure with no bra; he could see my boobs shaking with my each movement and my shapely ass made a silhouette with the gown draping over it.
I felt weak between my legs. I could sense small droplets of liquid oozing out from my pussy. I fixed some snacks for them and sat on a sofa. My hubby Raj picked up three cushions from the next sofa and set them side by side covering them with a bed sheet, almost like a bed on the floor. Raj sat on one of them on the carpet, taking support of the sofa on which I sat; sitting between my hanging legs covered by my loose, flowing gown.
Dev sat by Raj's side just next to my leg on the carpet on another cushion taking support of the sofa. My one leg was between Raj and Dev. Raj's head was between my thighs.
Raj poured some wine in a wine glass and gave it to me and he filled their glasses with whisky and ice. I took a sip from my glass hesitantly. The wine tasted good, if slightly strong. Dev said the wine had to be finished in one shot. Raj switched on the TV. The match had started. I took a big swig and finished the wine. Raj and Dev finished their drinks quickly too. The match was interesting. Dev and Raj kept cheering their teams. I was getting bored.
Raj poured another drink for them; he saw my empty glass, took it and filled it up with more wine; presuming my acceptance. I just looked at him blankly. The wine tasted better the second time. I finished that too. I could sense the wine flowing through my nerves and brains raising my body temperature; giving me a damned good, soothing carefree elated feeling.
The guys were watching the match keenly. I tried to watch it with interest too. I am not a great cricket buff and I didn't care who won. I kept asking Dev and Raj about who was winning. As the match progressed, I began massaging my hubby Raj's head and combing hair with my fingers lovingly; to rid of the boredom. Raj saw me getting bored and poured one shot of wine and handed me the glass. I suspected that the guys wanted me drunk, perhaps to have their way with me. What the hell! I was in my consciousness fully; not to be swept away just because of a drink or two! I finished the third one too.
My hubby Raj was lodged between my hanging legs (covered by the gown) and his head rested right on my crotch. Dev saw me massaging Raj's head and caressing his hair. He moved still closer to Raj and pressed his head onto my knee. He wanted me to caress his hair too. He was sitting a bit away. I had to stretch my hand.
Raj moved a little and made me spread my legs wider to let Dev move in with him between my legs. Gosh! My legs were spread so wide apart at that time. Fortunately the gown was quite large to allow that. I had two heads between my legs then with the back of their heads almost touching my crotch. I began combing Dev's hair too with the other hand. I felt like a mother having two grown up children vying for mother's affection. I felt liquid leaking out of my pussy wetting gown between my legs. Three quick gulps of wine were not helping me control my heat.
I was aroused as Raj started to caress my legs over the gown, keeping his eyes on the TV. When Dev saw that, he started caressing my leg on his side too. Both Raj's and Dev's heads pressed between my legs and hands caressing my legs were making me nervous and driving me up the wall.
There was a break in the match due to rain. There was a heated debate by commentators on some players taking bribes to fix the result of the earlier match. It looked as though the match would take some time to resume. My hubby Raj asked Dev if he would be interested in watching an interesting movie during the break in the match. I knew what my hubby meant by 'interesting movie' (he meant porn). Dev looked at me, as if asking me if it was ok. I sat passively, not reacting. Dev shrugged his shoulders saying, "Why not?"
Raj played a film showing a husband and his wife hiring a compact boat for the weekend. The person who owned the boat (boatman) was the husband's friend. The couple wanted to go out fishing and deep sea diving. The husband wanted to learn how to steer the boat. The boatman explained the basic nuances of steering the boat and then the husband got busy steering the boat. The boatman was with the wife. He kept touching the wife. The husband saw it but didn't mind it. The wife gave the boatman her tacit acceptance of his flirting. I knew the direction in which the film was heading. I had half a mind to stand up and leave.
I decided to stand up. However, my gown was jammed under Dev and Raj and my legs were held by both the men; with three quick shots of wine inside; I was a bit fuzzed. I staggered and fell between them. Dev and Raj caught me and lodged me between them in their laps with my one buttock on Dev's thigh and the other on my hubby's. Gosh! What an erotic feeling to have your butts shared by two men! I pushed them apart to make room for me between them. I sat on the cushion tightly sandwiched between Dev and my hubby Raj. I tried to break away from them, when Dev whispered in my ears, "Bhabhi, don't say you want to leave now. You made a promise to stay; come what may. Don't leave please?"
I sat down helplessly. On the TV, the boat got caught in choppy waters. The boatman had a crush on his friend's wife. The boatman and the friend's wife (clad in a tiny bikini) stood close together with the wife in the front and the boatman behind her. They tried to balance the rocking boat by standing with their legs spread wide apart. The boatman kept pushing his cock from behind between his friend's wife's spread out legs as the boat rocked. The husband from the other end watched them do that and didn't mind the show.
I felt a bit creepy seeing similarity between what was happening on the TV screen and what was happening with me.
It would be a gross understatement, if I said that I was aroused. I was actually on fire with my two beloved strong men squeezing me between them watching that porn flick. I clutched Raj's hand in mine. I felt Dev's hand touching mine too. I began to caress Raj's arm passionately. Dev on the other side poked me as if complaining of my one sided behaviour. I quickly seized his arm too and squeezed it in my fist to express to him my aroused state.
The TV flick showed that the boat lost the way and landed on an isolated island. The three pitched a tent on the shore for the night. When the hubby went away to fetch some dry wood for lighting a fire the boatman took his friend's wife in his arms, kissed her hard and cupped her breasts. The husband made a sudden entrance and caught them in their act. The boatman and his friend's wife had a momentary scare. However, the friend not only asked his wife and the boatman to continue but also joined them and cupped one of his wife's breasts, while the boatman fondled the other.
Almost as if guided by the movie, I felt my hubby's arm going behind my back, creeping up on my sleeve on the other side trying to reach my breast and cup it. I visibly trembled feeling him do that in Dev's presence. To reach my breast Raj had to push Dev a little bit to insert his hand between me and Dev. Dev was not the one to be left behind. I was terrified to feel Dev's arm moving behind me to come to Raj's side. Dev gave nudge to Raj to push through his arm between Raj and me. I shuddered as I felt Dev's hand creeping up over my other sleeve to find my other breast.
In spite of myself, I was amazed at my complete disinclination to offer any resistance or even a mild protest. There I was, sitting with my both breasts being cupped by the two men. It could be because I was rather drunk or because I knew that, that was the fate accompli. Well, my condition was then an open secret.
What was happening on the TV was happening in our drawing room too, except that Dev had not kissed me, until then. I had both my breasts cupped and fondled by Dev and my hubby Raj, albeit through the gown. When Dev's hand touched Raj's, Dev withdrew his hand. Raj noticed it. He made Dev turn to face me, caught Dev's hand and made him squeeze both my breasts. The secret and the hide and seek game was over.
I looked at my hubby Raj. He smiled and winked at me encouragingly. I knew he wanted me to go ahead or at least not to react negatively to what was happening. I waited with bated breath to see what would happen next. I was not disappointed.
Raj began to caress my leg over the gown gently while Dev fondled my breasts. Raj caught my gown on my leg and started pulling it up a little by little, with one hand. My gown was pulled up above my knees exposing lower half of my thighs. With the other hand Raj pulled my head to press my lips on his. My gown cloth bunched up below my thighs. I felt a chill run over me as I sensed my semi nudity.
The porn flick was showing highly erotic scenes. All the three had undressed each other and had fallen in the makeshift bed on the sand in the tent with the wife cranked both cocks and both men fondled the wife's one tit each in their hands. The wife kissed each man one after the other. I had an instinct that the same scene could get repeated in our drawing room too and so it did; as Raj disengaged me from his kiss, while Dev thrust his face hesitatingly on mine pouting his lips inviting my mercy to join his lips.
I was unsure and looked hesitatingly at my hubby Raj, who pushed me forward making my lips press onto Dev's. Dev uncertainly held me in his arms. He pressed his lips on mine clumsily and perhaps hesitating a little. He tried to suck my tongue into his eagerly waiting mouth. His hold on me was so weak that if I wanted, I could have freed myself. But I didn't want to. I looked at my hubby doubtfully, if he would approve of my kissing his friend. He was busy trying to push me up to raise my gown to my waist. It was clear that it did not matter to him that I was kissed hard by his friend and so called brother; right in front of him.
I told myself, "What the hell!" If it did not matter to my husband; then why should I restrain my desires? I surrounded my arms around Dev's head and whole heartedly joined him in the French kiss, pressing his mouth harder on mine.
While I was engaged in the kiss with Dev, I stuck my hand and did not allow Raj to raise the bottom hem of my gown any higher. I did not notice that Raj then surreptitiously moved his hand behind me and quickly undid all the top buttons of my gown from behind. Only then I felt my gown flaps moving apart untied on my shoulders. Dev noticed it. He looked at the open flaps and lovingly caressed my shoulders to push the opened flaps down to my waist, exposing my breasts completely. I just sat there completely baffled at both Dev and Raj's working together to undress me.
I had a feeling that both my hubby and Dev were following the TV flick; as if it was a tutorial showing how to seduce your friend's wife with her husband's approval. The husband was kissing his wife and caressing her back; while the boatman spread her legs apart and was inserting his head between her thighs in the porn on the TV.
I knew the rest of the story for both: wife in the reel and the wife in real. I knew they would be the same. I decided to deal with the things in a more comfortable way. I stood up, raised the top of my gown to my neck to cover my breasts, buttoned up and said, "I am going to the bedroom. Mind you, I am not breaking my promise. I am not leaving you. You fellows may join me in the bedroom (or on the bed? I didn't clarify) now, if you want to; or watch this flick and come later after I go to sleep. But mind you; don't disturb me once I am asleep. Ok? You decide, if you want to watch this video or join me." I hinted indirectly at them that either they watch others do it or take the opportunity to do it themselves.
My two men looked at me stupefied. I walked out. I was sure both were staring at my seductively swaying bums from behind. I knew their decision. I knew that there would be no discussion. Their decision would be unanimous.
I left the drawing room quickly and went to the bedroom. I switched off all the lights in the bedroom and moved in the center of the bed. At first the room looked fully dark. However, slowly the room brightened up as my eyes got used to lights pouring in from the street. I heard their murmurs and clicking sound of the drawers closing and glasses and dishes being removed, cleaned and set in the shelves.
It must have taken them a few minutes; switching off the TV, clearing the table and all that. As soon as I fell in bed, I fell asleep. In my half asleep state, I felt my hubby cuddling up to me on one side of the bed facing me and joining his body with mine. He raised his one leg over the swell below my waist and pulled me into him. He straddled me between his legs. Dev slipped in behind me, poking his hard rod in my bums and raised his arm over me and came into me from behind me. I was almost crushed between my hubby and Dev. Raj said in muffled voice, "Honey, we want to join you."
Raj raised his head and bent and kissed me hard on my lips. I was completely engulfed in his arms, well not completely. I had Dev's arm over me too from behind as he inched closer and closer and poked his engorged cock into my ass crack through the cloth from behind. I had two pairs of arms in which I was straddled.
Raj must have kissed me for about half a minute, when Dev started pulling me around to him. Raj released me from his grip and let me turn around to face Dev. Without any hesitation, Dev pressed his juicy lips on mine and kissed my lips hungrily and authoritatively. That was the first time when I saw no hesitation in Dev's mind about kissing me. He kissed me as if he owned me. The kiss with Dev did not end soon. He refused to leave me. I became breathless and tried to push him away; only then did he realise that I was struggling to breathe.
After I broke away from Dev's kiss, I sat up on bed with the two men sitting and looming down on me from either side. I knew then that the game was up for me and that I had to face the reality. I looked at my hubby Raj and said, "You two were playing a fixed match to get at me between the two of you. Tell me truthfully, am I right? And don't you lie to me Raj."
Raj and Dev were tight lipped. They sat awkwardly fidgeting around me looking at my face; guilt written all over their faces. I smiled at their awkwardness. I caught their ear lobes and then taking both of them in my arms, I said, "I now know bloody well, it was fixed. And Dev, it was fixed by my crooked darling hubby. He schemed and tricked, because he wanted me to enjoy another man. It was good of my hubby Raj to think so much about me. I loved it so far and hell, I am sure going to enjoy it much more here on and so you two too! I must say this: You two devils played your part well. But now you two have made me so horny. You better get ready to fuck the hell out of me and be ready to get fucked out of shape too!"
While I was saying all these things, I was analyzing myself too; somewhere far deep in my own sane mind. I was amazed at my bitchy behaviour. I was always a good moral, conservative, simple monogamous housewife. Never before did I speak like that to my husband; leave alone his friend. Never before did I consider entertaining an outsider with any physical contact, leave aside having sex with him.
But what the hell! I enjoyed my daredevil attitude and the impact I was making with that attitude and my giving them a good dressing down. I sure was pleased with myself. I didn't want to be taken for granted. The three shots of strong wine did help.
The tension eased off both their faces. Dev smiled. Raj said, "Honey, now that you know it all, why not you be our queen bee and distribute the honey of your love to us?"
I said, "The hell, I will. That is that. No more talks. Time for action now; before I drop dead out of sheer excitement."
Dev kissed my head and my hair. His hands reached my breasts covered by the thin gown and he held them with both his hands looking like a man holding two pots of gold in a crowded place to protect them from thieves and snatchers.
He nuzzled his mouth on my forehead kissing it with his saliva drops wetting my skin. He seemed caught in a passionate frenzy. He murmured in my ears, "Bhabhi darling, you are astoundingly hot. How I always wanted to do this, since I saw you the first time. I never thought of anything else in my dreams other than your juicy lips, your curly hair, your gorgeous waist, your shapely hips, your desirable womanhood and your lovely jutting out breasts. I creamed out or I frantically masturbated thinking of how my lips will feel on your soft skin all over your delicious body. However, you always pushed me away, until tonight. Please let me make love to you to night to my heart's content."
I knew and understood his frenzy. I admitted in my own mind at that time that whenever Dev came close to me or talked to me with his eyes on my breasts or bums, how I had juice leaking from my pussy and how I too was caught in similar craving for his body, his muscles, his tight stomach, his manly body smell, his hairy chest, his firm ass and most of all, his virile big cock. However, tied by norms and customs, I buried my instincts and always discouraged Dev from coming closer to me.
I answered to him showing all my emotions in two simple sentences, "Dev, I am yours tonight. As I already said fuck me to your heart's content, all social norms and customs be damned."
I felt Dev's mouth and lips sliding down my nose, cheeks and finally meeting my lips. Dev centred his mouth on mine and he placed his one arm underneath my head and pressed his lips hard on mine. He knew I was his for his pleasure at least for that night, if not for a longer time to come. I clutched my hubby's hand tightly, while Dev kissed me.
Dev inserted his tongue in my mouth and made me suck his tongue. I was thrilled to suck his juicy saliva in my mouth wiping his tongue clean for a short while with my lips, and my tongue. As if to indicate his eagerness for the final outcome of our love making; Dev began to push and withdraw his tongue into and out of my mouth. I relished each of his thrust into my mouth and out of it. While he did that I sucked the juice out his tongue and gulped it down to hint to him that I was ready for the final outcome of our lovemaking.
I felt Raj's hand caressing the gown on my back and sliding down through the valley of my spinal cord onto my flaring ass and caressing my firm butts, occasionally inserting his finger into my ass crack with the gown's interference. That was a delectable and an unusual experience for me of having two lovers tending to my hungry body craving for loving sex.
I gently slipped my one hand into my hubby's trousers and gave a hard squeeze on his cock. I had to strain my hand behind me to caress and crank his cock, which was rock hard by that time.
The journey of Dev's lips sliding down continued as he came down to my chin, which he mouthed and lapped with his wet lips and tongue. I shivered in delight at the gentle loving caresses of his tongue on my chin and neck. My hubby's cock had grown like I had never seen before. I wondered how a man could get excited at the thought of his wife getting fucked by another man. But there it was.
While Dev held me tight in his arms, I slid my arm between our bodies and reached his overeager cock outside of his trousers. Dev's trousers, at his crotch, was fully wet with his slimy pre-cum. That showed how horny Dev was to make love to me. Gosh! I was reminded of his huge girth and length. I had seen in that porn flick how the two men had long and thick cocks. I had always thought that such cocks are either camera tricks or are very rare and do not exist on normal, real men. My belief was shattered, when I saw and felt Dev's cock for the first time in the cab and now in bed. I shuddered to imagine how it would penetrate into my narrow love hole.
Raj had inserted his hands between Dev and me and reached my breasts. There was this damned gown cloth preventing him direct access to my boobs. I felt my hubby's hand fumbling with my gown buttons and undoing them one by one. The flaps opened facilitating his hand's entry onto my handful two full globes. He caught both of them in his palm squeezing and rolling them to feel their succulent form and size. It was not a surprise for him. He had felt those globes innumerable times before that. However, it was different fondling his wife's boobs in clear view of his friend.
My hubby fondled my breasts very lovingly massaging and rolling them in his palms over and over again. He did that because he wanted to titillate Dev and incite Dev to feel them. Dev's mouth and lips slid down my neck and reached my then, naked breasts. Dev's mouth touched my hubby's hands. Instinctively, Dev paused and withdrew; realising they were my husband's hands; which were groping his wife's breasts rightfully and that Dev was an outsider not authorised to feel them. However, Raj removed his hands from my breasts as soon as he felt Raj's mouth reaching my breasts. Raj actually pushed Dev's mouth on my breasts. He had subtly authorised Dev to suck my breasts.
I was pleased by my hubby's gesture. With my one hand holding onto his cock, I pulled my hubby Raj closer into me from behind to feel his engorged cock poking on my ass. While I wanted to feel Dev all over me, I did not want to miss feeling my hubby too.
Oh God! Dev went berserk feeling my breasts in his mouth. He sucked my breasts and took them one by one in his mouth. He sucked them as if he wanted to suck the last drop of milk in them. Sadly there was none. He sucked my breasts so hard that I felt as if he will gulp them. I felt pain. I nudged Dev to reduce his force. When he released my breasts from his mouth, I was sure he had made imprints of his mouth on my fair boobs. My breasts had grossly reddened.
Dev was not done when he removed his mouth from my swollen breasts. He took each of my nipples in his mouth and kept sucking them one by one. He bit them lightly to avoid causing pain to me. He then cupped my breasts and squeezed them and pulled them hard, one after another.
Dev's working so hard on my breasts was driving me crazy. Nerves in my breasts were so highly sensitized that I had acute convulsions in my pussy. Muscles in my pussy contracted and expanded giving me exotic sensation. I was undergoing waves of highs as Dev sucked my breasts and nipples. I never had such an experience for a long time. I was nearing a huge orgasm and Dev was doing all he could to reach me the peak. With a huge "aaahhh.... Ohhhh... and unhhh... Dev, what are you doing to me? I am going to come and how! Raj... hold me, please.... You two are driving me crazy...."
My face contorted and my eyebrows were stretched in ecstasy as I had waves of ecstatic pleasure experiencing a huge orgasm that I had experienced very few times earlier.
My hubby behind me watched with great excitement my undergoing one of the biggest orgasms that he had ever seen me experience. He poked his cock deeper into my ass only separated by that damned gown. He perhaps wished, he had removed it completely. Raj pulled that big bundle of cloth completely down and I had to shuffle to let him disrobe me completely. I had no hesitation in letting my hubby do it.
I was then completely naked wearing nothing but a red dot on my forehead and a necklace strung by tiny black beads in a golden chain, both indicating my firm commitment to my life partner: my husband; who at that time was giving his wife the experience of her life time.
As soon as Raj disrobed me completely, Dev stopped in his tracks and rose above me looking down with amazement at my naked body lying on the bed in his arms. He pulled me up lovingly, and said apologetically, "Bhabhi darling, if you don't mind, could you please stand up? I want to see the real and uncovered beauty of my very beautiful bhabhi in all her glory."
I blushed and looked at Raj. Raj nodded his head indicating his approval. I rose from bed and stood in front of Dev and Raj bereft of any clothing. Dev let out a deep sigh and said, "Gosh! In your completely natural attire, you look like an angel from heaven that one could only imagine in his dreams. Bhaiya, you are very lucky to have my bhabhi as your wife. How much I envy you."
I said blushing, "Dev, don't say that. The beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I am sure Devika is also equally beautiful. Besides, don't envy your bhaiya. You are also no less lucky. Thanks to your bhaiya, this body is yours too, to enjoy at least for tonight and may be for many more nights to come with your bhaiya's approval." Thus I let out my desire to my hubby that that was not just an exception and that I would like to be fucked by Dev repeatedly, of course with his permission.
Dev made me give different poses and then stood up discarding his trousers. I looked surprised at his long, thick and rock hard cock pointing upwards, as if looking at my pussy and licking his lips (oozing out pre-cum), waiting for his opportunity to ram himself inside her at the opportune time.
Dev took me in his arms with his erect cock poking into the edge of my mound. I caught his rod in my hand. I wanted to encircle my fist around it. However, due to sheer thickness of his rod, I could barely close my fist around it. All the same, I managed to slide my fingers to grip his foreskin and slide it over his big stem repeatedly albeit slowly. His rod was fully covered by his slimy pre-cum. His pre-cum kept oozing out in small droplets showing how horny he was.
Raj was sitting on bed looking admiringly at my lovemaking with his friend. I bent and caught his hand and pulled him up to join us. I undid his waist belt and made him drop his trousers and lift off his top. We were then three naked bodies wanting to enjoy the God's gifted sexual desires.
Dev pulled me into him still tighter with my poor hand sandwiched hard between our bodies. I pulled my hubby behind me with my free hand so that I could feel Raj's cock poking into my bums. I had two cocks then, one hitting at my vaginal mound and the other one poking my ass. The script of two males in one female was being written then in memorable way for me. It was unbelievable for me even to dream of being fucked by a person other than my husband, leave aside the hypothesis of being fucked by two males, simultaneously or one after the other.
I was no longer in a position to wait. I wanted to be fucked and fucked good. I bent and lay down on bed inviting my two lovers to come and lie beside me on either side. I was entertaining Dev until then. I turned to my husband and made him kiss me. For a moment I saw a flicker of jealousy or helplessness in his eyes.
I immediately spoke in his ears, "Honey! Are you feeling unhappy or jealous of Dev? Don't say no. I know it from your eyes. I know you more than you know yourself. I shall stop at this moment, if you strongly feel so. However, let me tell you this. Irrespective of how good a lover Dev is, irrespective of how big his cock is, I am and will always be yours and only yours. Dev is just my lover at this time because of you and could be so for some time, with your explicit approval. However, he has a loving wife and family. He can never be mine and I can never be his after we finish our love making."
Raj spoke back, "Darling, don't even think that I have any doubt about it. You are and will always be mine and I yours. I gave up my exclusive right of your sex to let you taste the extra marital sexual pleasure. That would in no way influence our relationship. Now be a good girl and fuck Dev and get fucked by him. I really want to see you enjoy that."
I kissed my hubby and told him, "Not just Dev. I want to get fucked by both of you. I want to feel how it is to fuck two men and be fucked by two virile big and hard cocks."
Dev in the meanwhile, had continued his journey down my body and had reached my tummy. He began to nibble at my navel causing eruption of carnal pleasure. How did Dev know that I go crazy when kissed or tongue poked at my navel? Perhaps Raj had briefed him. Dev was indeed an expert in the art of seduction and knew how to make his mate so vulnerable as to make her surrender completely to him and demand that he fuck her right there and then.
I ground my ass on the bed shaken by the sheer erotic sensation going through my body and mind. Dev kept kissing and poking his tongue into the tiny hole of my belly button. I waited breathlessly wondering how I would react, when he would reach the spot of ultimate pleasure.
And there he was, inching his mouth down to the marginal rise of my belly and then a sudden sensuous fall into the sloping mound (that was shaved clean) and the cave of love protected by two puffed up pussy lips, further protected by two thighs. I spread them wider as I felt Dev reaching that area. Dev changed his body position to come between them and pushed his head to reach my pussy crack. His tongue reached the spot, where his cock would be; soon enough.
Oh God! As soon as his lips touched my pussy lips I felt a stream of my pussy juice squirting out of my pussy right into his open mouth. I looked at Dev when this happened. He gulped all of it and brushed his tongue on my pussy lips to lap up any more traces of it left. It was such a fantastic sight to see. At that moment I decided that although I did not relish sucking my hubby's cock; I would certainly suck Dev's cock that night. Raj never sucked my pussy; leave aside drinking my pussy juice.
I was highly aroused at that time, because it was not just Dev's mouth that was driving me mad; it was my hubby too who had taken over from where Dev had left off; engulfing one of my breasts into his mouth and squeezing and fondling my other breast hard with one of his hands. Raj's other hand played and caressed Dev's hair encouraging him to continue sucking my pussy. Dev's hands squeezed my ass hard as he dipped his mouth between my thighs. I had my hands on my hubby's head making him push his mouth into my breasts. I was unbelievably ecstatic. I was about to reach another orgasm.
Dev made me crazier by inserting his two fingers into my tight cunt. As soon as he started finger fucking me, I moved my pelvis forcefully hissing out, "Dev... Ohhhh... I am going crazy... please take your fingers out.... Fuck me... honey fuck me hard..." I am your bitch in heat."
Dev, however, didn't pay attention to my pleadings. He kept on pumping his fingers harder as I gave out a big repeated and hard breathing muffled shrieks, "ohhh... Dev... I am cumming again.... Hold me tight... carry on fucking me... aaahhh..." there I had another orgasm that perhaps exceeded any I had earlier.
Dev stopped. His continuous working his tongue and then fingers must have tired him a little, or perhaps he wanted me to regain my breath. I also needed a breather. I made Raj and Dev lie beside me. My legs rested on Dev. I made my hubby turn and inserted my tongue in Raj's mouth and asked him to kiss me hard. As he kissed me, I hissed in his ear, "Honey, I love you more than ever for this gift of sensual pleasure. If you had not forced me, I would not have moved an inch. I am grateful for your having forced me to do this."
Raj whispered back in my ears, 'Go my darling, to Dev and enjoy him and let him enjoy you fully. Of course I too am here to enjoy you as well as to please you. I believe that this is what a loving marriage is all about. Motto of a good marriage is to please your spouse and to get the pleasure from him or her."
I returned to Dev. I climbed up on him. I rested my body full length on his and nibbling his lips, I murmured in his ears, "Dev, I knew that you had always wanted to fuck me from day one, when you saw me in that party. Believe me so did I; right on that day and all subsequent occasions; when you were near me or flirting with me. If you had caught me and fucked me on any of those occasions, I would have cried, shouted but would not have resisted you too much and certainly would not have stopped you. It has been a long wait. Although I cannot wait any longer, I want your and Raj's cocks to be the hardest, when you both fuck me."
I made Raj and Dev stand. I raised myself on my knees between them to level my mouth where their cocks were. I caught Dev's cock in my hand and started giving it a good loving, gentle shagging while I took my hubby's cock in my mouth. I bobbed Raj's cock in and out of my mouth. I caught and squeezed his butts and made him push his cock in and out making him mouth fuck me. I knew he enjoyed it very much.
I did not want any of my men to cum in my mouth at first. As soon as I realised that my hubby would let go if I continued, I stopped. I turned to take Dev's cock in my mouth and began caressing gently my hubby's cock in my palm. For Dev this was an unexpected windfall. Even when he knew that I was ready to be fucked by him, he did not expect in his wildest imagination that I would volunteer to suck his long and thick rod.
It was not easy to take his thick rod inside my mouth. I had to blow and stretch my cheeks hard to let it in about one fourth of its length. Slowly as he started pushing it in and out, I was able to take barely half its length in my mouth. Dev was good mouth fucker. I could see the way he moved that he knew how to manoeuvre his body to smoothly mouth fuck a lady. I was amazed at his ability to hold himself. I let him mouth fuck me for a minute or two. My cheeks and mouth started to pain. I had to take his cock out. I was not a good cock sucker, after all.
I wanted him to cum in my mouth. But that would have to be after he had fucked me. But at that time I wanted him to fuck me and fuck me hard. I knew that he did too. I looked at my hubby, as if seeking his permission to be fucked by his friend. My hubby Raj caught my shoulders lightly and with a gentle nudge, made me stretch on bed and signalled Dev to mount me. I lay underneath him and made him climb on top of me to let him position his cock on my pussy.
Although Dev did not need any more invitation, I saw him hesitating to penetrate me. He looked at Raj and then at me and asked, "Bhabhi, should I not wear a condom?"
I knew if given a choice he wouldn't want to and neither did I. besides at that time I was talking pills and was safe. I said, "Dev, I am safe and I want you to fuck me with no interference. Let your virile sum find all my crevices and fill me up."
At that moment my big concern was how I would take in his long and fat cock into my pussy. His cock was layered with a thick coat of his pre-cum and my pussy was filled up with my love juice. There was enough lubrication. Yet I caught his road in my fingers and rubbed it several times on my soaked pussy lips. I inserted the tip of his cock a little into my crack and nudged him to push it in. I just said, "Dev, be gentle."
Dev nodded his head. He grabbed my breasts in his hands and squeezed them as he pushed his long hard thick cock slightly in. I nodded my head in approval and he pushed it in a little more. I loved the feel of my tight pussy walls clutching his thick cock tight in them. There was a tinge of pain when he pushed further. He pushed his cock deeper. I closed my eyes. The pain was sweet. I looked apprehensively at my hubby to see how he reacted seeing his dear wife, getting fucked by his friend. Raj smiled and caressed my hair and gave me a flying kiss.
The experience of Dev's cock entering my pussy passage was just too ecstatic to make me think of any pain seriously. I felt as if I was flying high with each of Dev's stroke. He kept increasing his penetration with each of his thrust. The pain increased but it was tolerable and sweet. His athletic body movement with the sensation of his thick rod stretching my passage fully and gripping his cock tight into my walls, made me feel like I was controlling him. The expression on his face reflected his ecstatic state. My pussy wall's tight grip on his thick cock all the length through, was giving him the sensuous feeling that perhaps he did not enjoy with his wife.
My situation was worse. With each of his thick cock pushing in and pulling out; the rubbing of our intimate skins was causing strange pulsation and repeated contraction of my pussy muscles that reflected my highly sensual state. I could not control thrusting my pelvis up to receive his cock in and pulling it back to let it out. I matched his thrusts in full rhythm with his movement.
Repeated moaning escaped my lips as his thrusts caused such unbearable sweet and ecstatic mind blowing sensations inside me. He wanted to give me maximum pleasure and so did I too. While Dev was ramming into me and I was responding to him by thrusting my pelvis upward, I looked at my hubby to see if my being fucked like that caused him any discomfort. I found him watching us with smile on his face. Perhaps not just mine, but more importantly his dream was getting fructified that night.
When he saw me looking at him he moved closer and kissed my lips for a few moments and whispered in my ears, "Honey, do you enjoy his long and thick cock inside?"
I was shaking because of Dev's ramming me forcefully. I said, "He is a good fucker, indeed. Thank you for this darling." I caught Raj's head in my hands and made him kiss me harder and longer. I did not want to release my hubby as long as Dev kept ramming his thick piston into my pussy. I wanted my hubby to feel that I was only his all the time.
Raj was thrilled at my positive reaction. He moved a little and pushed his one hand below my bums. He instead his one finger into my ass. I felt his finger penetrating into my ass while Dev's rod was slamming into me.
My pussy walls had accommodated Dev's big rod into it as if it belonged there all the time. Dev's large rod sliding in and out of my pussy had made me hornier. Rather than feeling satisfied, I wanted more and more. It was like intoxication. I did not want Dev to stop. My husband kissed me hard and his finger fucking my ass made me go wilder while Dev kept fucking me harder and harder.
I looked at my hubby questioningly, when he removed his finger from my ass. It looked as if he was up to something naughtier. As if to answer my query, he whispered in my ears, "Honey, wait, there is a surprise for you."
Dev was frantically pummelling into me, making me wild with erotic manoeuvres of his body such that he made his big rod turn at different angles within my pussy walls. When he moved his cock at angles, it felt as if my uterus skin stretched out in un limited manner; making me wonder about a woman's body. How a woman's body and particularly her sexual organs are able to take on such heavy punishment and are yet able to deliver carnal pleasure for the woman as well as her mate was a mystery and a matter of great wonder. Dev's manoeuvres caused me pain, yes; but it was so pleasurable.
I jumped my pelvis up and down. After initial one or two minutes of fucking, the pain vanished and there was nothing but sheer pleasure and ecstasy. I was amazed as well as delighted at Dev's capacity to hold on and keep fucking without ejaculating. My hubby was never able to hold on for much longer. I wanted to be fucked longer and did not want him to stop. However, I had an idea.
I signalled Dev to stop. Raj and Dev looked at me surprised. I said I wanted to fuck Dev. I made him lie on bed in my place and climbed atop Dev. I caught his cum coated cock in my hand rubbed a few times between my pussy lips and pushed my cunt onto his cock. It took a bit of manoeuvring, but Dev's cock slid in without too much difficulty. Both Dev and my hubby saw me at my frantic best as I kept on slapping my hungry pussy on his arrogantly hard cock at a frantic pace. Very soon I began fucking Dev harder than what Dev was doing to me.
Dev looked at my bouncing boobs and caught them in his hands. I was undergoing that extra ordinary feeling, that thrill only a woman can feel; when she fucks her lover to give him that extreme pleasure, which she wants to share with him.
I held my hubby's cock in my palm and began to shag it as I kept fucking Dev's cock nearing another big orgasm.
But then Raj asked me to stop. I looked at my hubby surprised. I wanted to fuck Dev and cum on him. His cock was still deeply imbedded in me. Dev and I had fully joined as one body. I wondered what my hubby was up to. Was he jealous seeing me fucking Dev hard? Did he want to fuck me? I was real horny and did not want to stop fucking Dev. I was a bit irritated at Raj disturbing our rhythm. However, without saying anything, Raj stood up. Raj's erect cock shook as he walked naked.
He picked up a bottle containing lotion and oil, and coated his hard cock liberally with it. He then started pumping his cock in his hands. He stood up and came behind me. He pushed me down on Dev. I felt his body touching mine and his cock poking my ass. To my extreme surprise, I realized that he wanted to poke his cock into my ass as I was fucking Dev hard. A new thrilling sensation passed through my body. I had let my hubby fuck me once in the ass. It was painful initially. However, after that I enjoyed the experience. With Dev's hard rod in me I wondered how I would be able to take Raj's too.
Raj easily slid his cock in my ass. With all the lubrication, it was not much painful. Raj began to thrust his cock as I pushed myself on Dev. It was a gorgeous feeling for me to be fucked in both my holes. I was going crazy with two cocks in my body. I knew my hubby would not be able to hold for long. I also knew Dev was near the edge too. I pushed my pussy deep onto Dev's cock and whispered in his ears, "Dev, I cant hold any longer! I want you to cum in my pussy. Please let me have all that you've got."
I convulsed and shuddered with the biggest orgasm I had that night and all my life, asa I heaved one last time and fell on Dev. I felt a huge load of hot sperm spraying into my pussy. I also felt hot cum of my hubby warming my ass hole. Both my men had released their virility into my pussy and my ass. My juice was also flowing over. Their semen combined with my juice overflowed from my body and that stream spreading cum everywhere on bed.
It was like meeting of three overflowing streams at one point, becoming one. It was a trinity or triveni (tying of three braids of flowers).
The personal impact of a recession can bring out the best or the worst in people. In my case, it was both. But on balance, whether it good or bad, I still haven't been able to figure it out. Only time will tell, I guess. But I am getting ahead of myself.
Let me start at the beginning. My name is Prerna and until a few months back, my husband Dhruv and I were living the vaunted Indian middle class dream. We were both working in mid-level positions in the same small but influential financial corporation. In fact we met as colleagues, became friends, then fell in love, and then got married. We had decided to postpone having children until I got promoted to a managerial position. So two decent incomes without any children translated into a pretty comfortable lifestyle. We had both grown up in families with financial troubles, so when we had a good income, we spared no expense at acquiring any luxuries. A sea-side 2 bedroom rented apartment in Juhu equipped with every luxury from a flat screen TV to a washing machine and even a drier. An expensive foreign-made sedan. Frequent foreign trips in Europe and East Asia. And of course, the services of a drive, a maid and a cook.
The problem is, we started living more like middle class Americans than middle class Indians. And by that, I mean, we racked up quite a debt. Our salaries were decent, but not lavish enough to pay for all these luxuries out of our pocket. So almost everything had been financed by loans, and most of our incomes went in paying the monthly installments, credit card bills, and the rent. The thought of saving for a rainy day did cross our minds occasionally, but Dhruv and I always said that we'd start saving once we get promoted to senior positions and our salaries grew really big. After all, the stock markets worldwide were booming, our bonuses every year were growing, our stock option value was multiplying, and our company was considered one of the rising stars in the financial sector. So we thought that as long as we were both young, we should enjoy our lives, and start saving later. The later, as it happened, was really bad.
In late 2008, the meltdown hit. Almost overnight, our company went belly up. Our shares in the company were not worth the paper they were printed on. And both Dhruv and I found ourselves unemployed. Even after that rude shock, we waded in our delusions for a few months. Surely, we would get a job elsewhere. Of course, we probably wouldn't have the convenience of working in the same office, having lunch together, and commuting together. But given that we had worked in such an awesome firm, we would find jobs soon. We sent our resumes to all the big banks and financial institutions, and continued charging our expenses to our credit cards.
Three months later, our credit cards were maxed out and neither of us had a job. We had been called for the occasional interview, but the niche nature of our previous jobs meant that there were few positions available in the top firms. And neither of us wanted to "taint" our resumes by working in a second tier firm. So we kept our fingers crossed and prayed to the lord.
The next month is when we really found our backs to the wall. We had only enough money left in our joint account to pay two months rent. We could not make any of our installments, from the car to the flat screen TV to the fancy three door fridge. It was impossible to pay the massive credit card bills. And of course, we had no money left to pay the driver, maid or the cook. That is when we were forced to take a realistic look at our situation. That is when we truly understood the meaning of the proverb "beggars can't be choosers".
There was however, a small sliver of hope. One of Dhruv's old bosses, who had also lost his job, had been hired in a mid-level privately-owned bank that had been largely unaffected by the meltdown. There was a position on his team, and he called up Dhruv to ask if he was interested. Normally, Dhruv would have laughed at the idea of working in what we called the "lalaji" firms. The salary was barely half of what he made at our old firm. And the company was in Powai, so the commute from Juhu would be horribly long. But like I said, beggars can't be choosers. So Dhruv took the job.
In one week, we were living "downgraded" lifestyles. With a heavy heart, we returned the car, the flat screen TV and all the other fancy gadgets that demanded monthly installments. We told our servants that their services were no longer needed. At this point, if we had no debt, we could have still lived reasonably well. But the credit card bills were massive, we had to live well within the lifestyle Dhruv's new salary could have afforded us. So the unkindest cut of them all - we had to leave our darling apartment in the posh seaside Juhu building, and rent a one bedroom apartment in an old building in Kanjurmarg.
Although Dhruv asked his boss to look for a job for me in the company, his boss said that simply was not possible. My experience was in a different sub-sector and there was no way I could be hired by them. So I was still unemployed, still sending out resumes, and waiting for the occasional interview call. But fortunately or unfortunately, thanks to our new low-brow lifestyle, that did not mean I was sitting at home with nothing to do. I had been forced into the life I had always dreaded - the busy housewife. We could just about afford a maid for washing the clothes and the dishes, but I had to clean the house and cook. Even though it was a small house and it was just the two of us, a decade-long break from any kind of housework meant that it all took up most of my day.
Things got worse in other ways too. Experiencing financial troubles for the first time, we started bickering about every little thing. Fights between us, once a rare twice-a-year phenomenon, now became an almost daily thing. We fought mainly about how to spend or not spend the little money we had. But also about other things. Working in the same company meant that even if we worked long days and nights, we were close to each other. But now, when Dhruv had to work late hours, and I had to sit at home waiting for him to return, it started annoying me. Dhruv started getting annoyed by how "housewifely" I was acting. It was the nadir of our previously rosy relationship.
That wednesday, it felt even worse. Dhruv and I had a long three-part argument before he left for work. First, he got upset at me for spending too much money on food, by buying imported chesses, expensive baked goods, and such. Then I got upset at him when he told me he would be working the whole weekend. And then we both got upset, blaming each other for the situation we were in, blaming each other for not wanting to save any money when times were good. Dhruv stormed off to work without touching his breakfast, and I sat there, ready to burst into tears.
Once I got over the fight, I realized that it was now almost 10 and the maid had still not come. She usually came to our house at 8, so she was two hours late. I prayed that she was not taking the day off. I really was not in the mood to wash clothes and do the dishes by myself. Another hour passed and still no sign of the maid. That got me worried. I decided to ask around. From what Ratna told me, she worked in only one other apartment in our building. Some old man in 43A on the fourth floor. So I trekked up to the fourth floor to check if Ratna was there.
The door on 43A looked different than all the others in our building. First, it was spotlessly clean, unlike other old dust-ridden doors in the building, including ours. Second, instead of a doorbell, it had an ornate brass knocker on it. And third, instead of the small cheap plastic nameplates on the other doors, this one had a big copper plate, and etched in it was the name "Lt. Col. H.D. Mehra, Retd."
I grabbed the knocker and hammered it a couple of times, and immediately a booming voice shouted, "COME IN!!" Surprised, I pushed the door slightly and it swung back a little. "COME IN I SAY!!" the voice boomed again, and I pushed the door open and walked in. Inside, I saw two old men sitting in armchairs, facing each other, looking downwards. As I took a few more steps, I saw that they were staring at a chess board laid out on the coffee table between them. The men paid no attention to me as I walked up to them.
"Excuse me, I stay in..." I said, but one of the men, bald with a thick handlebar moustache and a pipe in his mouth, held up his outstretched palm as if telling me to stop, so I stopped mid-sentence. He kept his hand up, so I stood there silently, shifting on my feet for a few seconds, and then finally started looking at the chess board too. It was clearly an expensive "designer" chess set, not a tawdry plastic one you see in stores. The board was made of wood, probably mahogany, and had hand crafted patterns along the edges. The big pieces looked like they were made of ivory. Next to the board was an ancient-looking chess timer. Under the timer were two crisp 100 rupee notes. I admired the ornate board and pieces for a few seconds and then started examining the game itself. The moustache-pipe guy, almost certainly Col. Mehra, was playing with black, and seemed to have gobbled up most of white pieces, played by his opponent, also an old man with a heavy white beard and neatly combed white hair.
"Just one more second." the colonel said, picked up a rook, took it to the last row, placed it there and hit the clock. He then looked at me and asked, "Yes, young lady, how may I help you?"
Instead of answering his question, I kept my gaze on the chess board and instinctively drew my breath inside audibly. The colonel and his friend heard me and started looking at the board with puzzlement. Meanwhile, my brain registered his question, and I replied,
"I stay in 32B, and my maid Ratna hasn't come to work yet. I was wondering if she came to work here today."
"Ratna...Ratna..." the colonel said absent-mindedly examining the board, "Yes, that stupid cow. Hasn't come yet. Goes AWOL like this regularly."
"Okay. Thank you." I said, turning to leave, but with my gaze still on the board. The colonel noticed this and said,
"Why did you react like that when I moved the rook?"
I looked at him and then at his opponent who also looked back at me, confused.
"Well?" the colonel asked.
"I don't know if I should say it. You are obviously playing for money and I don't want to butt in." I answered.
"No, please, go ahead." the colonel said.
"Okay, if you say so." I said and stepped towards the board. I picked up white knight that was languishing in a corner surrounded by pawns and killed a pawn with it. "You did not protect against this move. If white plays this, your queen is doomed."
"What?" the colonel said. "No, I can still move her to.....ohhhh....if I do that.... yes, I see your point."
"Thank you!" the other man said to me with a broad smile, hit the clock and said, "Your move, sir."
"Lucky break for you, Major!" the colonel said and moved his bishop to threaten the knight for damage control. But his queen was toast, and the Major gobbled it up straight away. The loss of the queen also opened up the colonel's king to attack, and the major did not need me to point that out. From then on, they made their moves rapidly, and I watched as, within a few minutes, the colonel had no choice but to knock over his own king in submission.
"I will take that, sir, thank you very much." the major took the money from under the timer, and then extending a 100 rupee note towards me said, "This is rightfully yours."
Surprised at this offering, I said, "No, no, it's okay. It was your game."
"Nonsense. you've earned it." the major said and pressed the hundred in my hand. I looked at the note in my hand, realizing that for the first time in months, I had actually earned some money.
"So you're good at chess, then? Ever played competitively? Been formally trained?" the colonel asked, as he started rearranging the pieces for a new game.
"No, not really. I just played it with my father, for fun. Never got any formal training." I lied. I don't know what made me lie. Maybe false modesty. But in a previous life, I had played chess competitively. Yes, I started off playing with my father for fun, when I was in middle school. But then, I got good enough at it for him to send me to a chess coach. And I was quite good at under-15 and under-17 levels. After finishing high school, I actually had the option of making a career in chess, trying for a WM norm. But like I said before, my family was not financially flush, so instead I took the well-trodden and safe path of academics, degree, and so on. But in our living room cabinet and on the walls, I still proudly displayed my chess trophies and a picture of Vishwanathan Anand handing one of them to me.
"Really? The way you spotted that move, you sure you're not some Judith Polgar in disguise?" the colonel said and let out a booming laughter at his own feeble joke. The major joined in with his own moderately booming laughter. I smiled.
"No, in fact I haven't played chess in years. In fact gosh, it's been many years since I even saw a chess board." This was not a lie. After going to college, I lost track of my chess buddies. In college, none of my friends were really into chess. Occasionally if I did find someone interested in chess, they were not very good. I would beat them with ease and then they would stop playing me, saying I was too good. The same thing happened with Dhruv too. He was moderately good at chess, but no match for me. In the initial days of our courtship, he would play with me, mainly, I suspected, to make me happy enough to let him do stuff to me. Once we were committed to each other, or in other words, slept together, he refused to play chess with me, saying I was too good at it. It had really been almost 5 years since I even saw a chess board.
"Is that so? Then come on, let's play a game. If you're not busy that is." the colonel said.
"Well, if Ratna is not coming, I will have to do all the work myself....." I said tentatively.
"Oh come now!" the colonel said emphatically, taking the pipe out of his mouth and reaching for his tobacco bag. "Just one game. We play with a 15 minute time limit. What do you say?"
"Do stay for one game." the major politely added with a smile.
"Oh what the heck. Sure." I said. The major got up and moved to the couch next to the table. I sat down in the armchair. The colonel finished filling his pipe and then started winding up the timer. It was one of those old analog timers with the flipping numbers. It looked older than me, to be honest.
"Your choice, my lady. Blacks or whites?" the colonel asked.
"Whites are fine." I said. Actually, I was always stronger playing blacks. But I didn't want to show off.
"And dear me! Where are my manners?" he stretched his hand in my direction and said, "Introductions! I am Colonel Harchand Dayal Mehra, formerly of the Maratha Light Infantry. This is Major Shakeel Raslan who used to serve under me. Also retired."
I gave him my hand and he pressed it gently but firmly.
"I am Prerna Soni-Mahajan." I said, and also shook hands with Major Raslan who got up from the couch to greet me.
"Soni-Mahajan? Hyphenated name! One of those empowered modern women, I see. Does not give up her maiden name. And teaches army men how to play chess." the colonel said, stayed silent for a second and then again, that booming laughter. The major and I joined in. Yes, I was very possessive of my maiden name. Even the nameplate on our door said 'Dhruv Mahajan, Prerna Soni-Mahajan'.
"So Mrs. Soni-Mahajan...is that what I should call you?" he continued.
"Prerna is fine." I said.
"So Prerna, care to make it interesting?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you just got that hundred from the major. Put that up in the stakes. You win, you get my hundred. I win, I get yours." he said.
"What do you think, major?" I asked. "It is your money after all."
"Well Prerna, I always find that a game without anything at stake is a boring one." he smiled and said.
"Okay colonel. You're on." I said and put the hundred next to the timer.
"Your move, then." he said, and I moved my king's pawn two squares ahead.
Over the years, whenever I have played chess with amateurs, I assess their abilities using what I call the "4-move-checkmate test". The 4 move checkmate is the most hackneyed tactic that newbies use. They move the king's pawn ahead, then the king's bishop three squares, then the queen two squares, and then try to checkmate you with the queen. The more evolved amateurs can neutralize the threat easily. The experts can actually neutralize the threat by being on the defensive in a tantalizing way that makes the opponent keep pushing for that win, and then corner their queen.
The colonel started with the 4-move maneuver. Amused at his newbie-ness, I drew him in, and within minutes had cornered the queen.
"Holy hell!" the colonel exclaimed. "You've got my queen again!"
With a smile, I moved the big ivory queen off the board. And then I mounted my offensive. Nothing too sophisticated. Just advanced my troops deep into his territory. The major was chuckling at the worried look on the colonel's face. That got the colonel even more riled up.
"What's so funny, major??" he said hotly.
"Sir, nothing, sir." the major said and suppressed his chuckle.
He had lost any chance he had just eight moves into the game. But he gamely fought on, as I took both his bishops, both his knights, and one rook in addition to the queen. Actually, I could have ended the game long ago. But I was enjoying playing chess after so many years. And I loved how the pretty ivory chess pieces felt against my fingers. So I strung him along. Also, I made the moves almost instantly, while he labored over his. After a while, I had used up barely two minutes of my time and he had used up 13 minutes of his.
"Prerna." the major said.
"Yes, major?" I asked.
"Just end his misery. This is like torturing ants using a magnifying glass."
I laughed at the analogy but the colonel, clearly not amused, scowled. He glared at the major for a few seconds and then went back to thinking his next move. After he moved his rook in a futile attempt to threaten my king, I decided to have mercy, and went in for the kill. Two more moves, and it was checkmate.
"Nice game, colonel." I said, with a smile.
"One more!" He boomed, chewing on his pipe in annoyance. "One more game. Double or nothing!"
"Colonel, I really have a lot of work to get to. The clothes and the dishes." I said.
"Oh stop being so damn effete!" he exclaimed.
"I am a woman!" I responded with a chuckle, and the major burst out laughing.
"Oh you know what I mean. Have some balls. No, I mean...." he said, searching for a gender-neutral metaphor for being brave.
"Alright colonel. One more game. Double or nothing." I said. Actually I had been hoping for another game. I just didn't want to sound too eager. There were two reasons I wanted another game, if not many more. One, playing chess was very relaxing for me, and it was melting away all the worries I had about my comatose career and the financial troubles with my husband. And secondly, without taking any significant effort, I had won 200 rupees. Given how cash-strapped we were, that was a welcome addition. And the colonel was clearly no match for me in terms of chess abilities. If a fool was so eager to be parted from his money, why shouldn't I be the one to take advantage?
And we played on. The second game, the colonel decided to try the 4-move-checkmate again. He seemed convinced that my capturing his queen that early had been a lucky break. This time, he made sure I could not play the same trick on him. But I had other tricks up my sleeve. It took three more moves than the last game to take his queen. This time I played mercilessly fast, and it was checkmate soon. The beaten colonel refused to stay down. He made a demand for another double or nothing game. And after losing that, another.
At the end of the fourth game, the colonel sat there looking as surly as a cat forced into water. I expected him to say "double or nothing" again, but he did not.
"Well, colonel?" I asked. "Should I rearrange the pieces for another game?"
The colonel took a deep puff from his pipe and shook his head. He got up, went to the mantle, picked up his wallet and took out three 500-rupee notes. He approached me silently and offered them to me. I took it and got up. The major and I were clearly amused at the proceedings, but the colonel seemed like a sore loser who was not used to being beaten. And I suspect my being a woman, that too a much younger woman than him, hurt his male ego.
"Can I offer you something to drink, Prerna? Tea, coffee, juice.." he said with what was clearly courtesy shown with a lot of effort.
"Thank you, colonel, but I really must get going." I said, and got up. The major, in line with the army's chivalrous norms, got up to bid me goodbye. The colonel forced a smile and shook hands with me as he wished me goodbye.
I almost hopped and skipped my way down the stairs with delight. Four games of chess had made me feel more alive and pumped than I had felt in ages. I had a broad smile on my face for a change as I went home. I kept the colonel's 1600 rupees in my purse, and started thinking about what I should buy with it. I decided to buy something nice for Dhruv. And also to apologize for how surly I had been all day. But first I needed to wash clothes.
I was surprised at how much more exhausting hand-washing clothes was than I remembered it to be. In our Juhu apartment, we had a maid, as well as a washing machine and a dryer. Which meant all the maid had to was use the washing machine and the dryer. And here, I was forced to wash the clothes myself, on my haunches in the bathroom, using the rough soap bar. And then hang them out to dry in our tiny balcony. By the end of it all, I was so exhausted that I had to take a nap. I plonked myself on the couch and within minutes, I was asleep.
I woke up to the sound of the door bell's incessant ringing. I looked at the clock and it said almost 6. I had slept through the whole afternoon! I rushed to the door and opened it to see an annoyed Dhruv standing there.
"What the fuck, Prerna???" he said testily, "I have been ringing the bell for almost ten minutes now."
He stormed in past me and threw his bag on the couch.
"You complain that I work late. And when I get home on time, you take so long to open the door?" he said as he started taking his shoes off.
"I am sorry Dhruv. I guess I dozed off." I said.
Dhruv took his shoes and socks off and pushed them in a corner. He then walked into the kitchen. I followed him to tell him about how I had won the money playing chess today.
"Dhruv, listen, today..."
"You haven't cooked anything?" Dhruv said as he surveyed the kitchen counter.
"No, but listen..."
"And these dishes in the sink...they're stinking!" he said.
"Yes, the maid did not come today. But listen..."
"So the maid did not come. So what? It's not like you have anything to do all day. Why couldn't you do them?" Dhruv said, raising his voice.
Until then, I had been ignoring his comments and his behavior because the chess warmth was still keeping me happy. But his last comment made me snap.
"Why couldn't I do them? Why couldn't I do them?" I shouted, fighting back tears. "Fuck you, Dhruv! I am not your kaamwali bai. I am your wife. Why do you have to be so disrespectful?"
"Oh don't give me that disrespectful crap!" Dhruv yelled and stormed out of the kitchen. I followed him.
"Why am I supposed to do the grunt work. While you...you act like a spoilt mama's boy. Flinging your bag on the couch, and your shoes and socks in the corner. Why don't you put them in their place like an adult?"
"Don't bring my mother into it!" he yelled.
"How the fuck is that bringing your mother into it????" I yelled back.
And that's how it went. We yelled at each other for a while, and then I ran into the bedroom to cry and slammed the door shut. Dhruv went into the kitchen and started making instant noodles for himself. For the rest of the night, neither of us said a word to the other person. We both kept waiting for the other person to apologize, but the apologies never came. At night, we slept on two edges of our bed, backs turned towards each other, like we often did these days.
Our cold war continued the next morning. We spoke to each other only when absolutely needed. Dhruv ate his breakfast buried in the newspaper, and ignored me, while I watched TV. He left without giving me the usual goodbye kiss, and I didn't remind him about it.
The one bright spot of the morning was, Ratna had turned up. She apologized for "going AWOL" as the colonel called it. She gave some wishy washy excuse about her son being sick, and it was obvious to me that she was lying. But I didn't press her on it. She was here, doing the dishes from the previous day, and that's all that mattered.
After Ratna left, when I was cleaning the living room, I noticed my chess trophies. And I was reminded of how much fun I had the previous day playing chess with the colonel. I wondered if I should go up to his apartment and ask him he wanted to play. But he had seemed so devastated at losing to me, I decided not to push it. Instead I started thinking about the money I had won. After Dhruv's behavior, there was no chance in hell I'd buy a present for him. I was going to stash it away and spend it on myself. There was this pretty summer dress I had fallen in love with at a designer boutique in Bandra. It cost 3000 rupees. In my previous life, I would not have hesitated for a second before buying it. But given our current situation, it was out of the question. I decided to put the 1600 towards my "dress fund". Once I saved up the remaining 1400 somehow, I would buy it.
A week passed by, and things between Dhruv and me veered along. We got over that big fight, but had several small ones occasionally. He started coming home from work later and later, and I started wondering if he really had that much work, or if he was just using it as an excuse to stay away from me. Things were especially cold in the bedroom. It had now been over a month since we had sex. Some times when I was in the mood, we would be too tired from working late hours. Occasionally when he did come home early and make the first move, I was tired from all the housework. The timing was always bad, and we had our longest dry spell ever. Life seemed like a murky stagnant pond and I was just going bobbing in it like deadwood.
Then one day, a small glimmer of pleasure. I had just finished cleaning the house and was about to start cooking, when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and found the smiling Major Raslan standing there.
"Hello Prerna. How are you today?" he said pleasantly.
"I am good, Major. How are you? How is the colonel?" I asked.
"The colonel is in the mood for some payback, to be honest. He has been practicing with me for the last week. And he wants to know if you'd give him a chance to win his money back. He's sent me to invite you for another double or nothing game of chess."
"Hmmm." I pretended to consider the invitation, but of course, I was ready to jump at it. Another chance to play some chess? Of course! And a chance to beat the doddering old colonel and turn the 1600 into 3200? Of course! But I played it cool. "Let me think about it."
"If you decide to join us, you know where to come." the major said, and started walking up the stairs.
Call it gamesmanship if you will, but I decided to get the colonel restless by making him wait. I skimmed through the paper and watched TV until an hour had passed when I took the money from my purse and finally made my way up the stairs and knocked on his door.
"COME IN!!" the booming voice said, and I walked in.
The colonel was sitting in his armchair in front of the chessboard. The major was on the couch.
"Glad you decided to come, Prerna." the colonel said jovially, "I admire your fortitude. let me warn you though. I am going to win my money back. Do you have it with you?"
I took the money out of my pocket and showed it to him, with a smile.
"Good. Then, let us begin. But before that, I wonder if you're alright if we extend the time limit to 30 minutes." he said.
"Sure, no problem, colonel." I said, while thinking to myself, take 300 minutes if you want, you old fool, I'm still going to wipe the board with you.
And we started. We had a toss this time and the colonel chose whites which suited me well. I noticed that the colonel had given up on the 4-move-checkmate. Instead, he started with a more evolved textbook opening - Ruy Lopez. The good old Spanish torture. It did seem like he had done his homework, and was actually thinking a few moves ahead this time. He also seemed to know the standard defensive as well as counter-attacking strategies that black can adopt and thwarted them when I tried. But ten moves or so later, I still had control over my pawn structure and he still had not gotten the upper hand that white playing Ruy Lopez would normally aim for. To his credit though, he was making me think a lot more than the last time. And although he had still used up way more time than me, I was noticeably slower than the previous week.
Anyway, I had been setting up for the Schliemann defence. And once I fortified my positions, I went on attack on the king's side. After that, the colonel was clearly punching above his weight. He had clearly run out the moves and counter-moves he had memorized and now was back to playing on instinct. Thinking just one or two moves ahead. Needless to say, it all ended soon after. I relieved him of his knight, and then his bishop. And then finishing him off was just a formality which I did not dwell over. This time, the colonel did not actually wait for a checkmate like amateurs do, and resigned 3 moves in advance.
"Well played, colonel. I mean it." I said, trying to be charitable, mindful of how surly he had been after the last time I beat him. But he seemed to be taking it well.
"You're really good, young lady. You should take part in competitions and all. Maybe get formal coaching." he said. I felt a pang of guilt. He was still taking me at my word. That I played chess only for fun and had never been formally coached. It was clear what was happening. I had been hustling this old man. And taking his money from his well-earned armyman's pension. I should not be this selfish. I decided to come clean and return his money. I opened my mouth to confess when he said something so offensive that I changed my mind,
"I mean, you're really good for a woman." he said, barely suppressing a smirk.
"For a woman???" I asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yes, I mean, sure you beat me. But I am an old man. My grey cells are not what they used to be. But you can't keep beating me. I mean honestly major, do you think a woman can keep beating me at chess for long?" he looked at the major.
"Sir?" The major looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He clearly did not want to agree with something that sexist, but he did not want to openly disagree with a superior officer, albeit retired.
"You heard me, major." the colonel boomed.
"I don't know, Sir. I mean, she is good." he trailed off when the colonel looked at him sharply.
"Okay, so let's have another double-or-nothing rematch." the colonel said, slamming his fist on his thigh.
"Right now? Sure!" I couldn't wait to take more money off this misogynist old bastard.
"Not now." the colonel looked taken aback at my eagerness. "I need to practise some more. One week from today. And in the morning. I always think better in the mornings than afternoons. So a rematch at 0800 hours next thursday."
"I can't make it that early. I have to make breakfast for my husband, and wait for Ratna to finish her work and...." I protested.
"Okay, so what time works for you?" he interrupted me impatiently.
"Maybe 930-10. Whenever Ratna is done, I'll come over." I said.
"Excellent! It is decided then." the colonel took his wallet and took out 1600 rupees and handed them to me. "This is just for safekeeping Prerna. Don't spend it. Remember, I am definitely going to win next time. So you'll have to return this money to me."
"We'll see." I said, trying not to gloat or sound cocky.
