**Chapter 17 Log 2**
Mere haathon ne, jo ab dheere-dheere meri kamzori ke control mein the, meri chaddi utaar di - jo meri choot aur chootad ke beech ka akhri parda tha. Is waqt mera jism mera nahi raha tha, balki meri andar ki hawas ne usse kabza kar liya tha. Main bed pe chadh gayi aur apne Pitaji ke upar baith gayi. Meri choot already gili ho chuki thi, pani chhod rahi thi, aur mujhe pata tha ki mujhe chudai karni hai.
Havas ke control mein, main apni choot ko Pitaji ke lund ke paas le jaati rahi. Main khud ko rok nahi paa rahi thi. Main chahti thi ki uska lund zor se meri choot mein ghus jaye, meri khud ki pyaas bujha do aur meri andar ki aag ko thanda kar de. Jitna meri choot aur uska lund paas aate gaye, utni hi meri choot ki tadap badhti gayi. Main besabri se us pal ka intezaar kar rahi thi jab Pitaji ka lund meri choot mein ghusega.
Jab Pitaji ka mota, ganda lund meri choot mein ghusne wala tha, us ek pal ke dhundhlepan mein, mere dimaag mein Sameer ki shakal achanak se ubhar aayi. Mere Sameer ki shaan daar tasveer ne mujhe ekdum hosh mein la diya, aur main apni choot ki aakhri seema bacha paayi, apni izzat ko bacha liya. Hosh mein aane ke baad mujhe bahut pachtava hua, afsos hua ki meri khud pe kabu itna kamzor kyun tha. Kya main apne pyare Sameer ka saamna kar paungi?
Lekin jab maine dobara Pitaji ka jhurriyon wala chehra aur seena dekha, jab maine uska mota lund dekha, mera dil ab bhi usse sweekar nahi kar paaya. Dil mein ek mauka chhodna nahi chahti thi. “Jab tak lund meri choot mein nahi ghusega, tab tak toh main Sameer ke saath dhoka nahi kar rahi, na?” Maine khud ko is tarah samjhaya, ab sochti hoon toh lagta hai main bas khud ko dhoka de rahi thi.
Maine apni ungliyan apni choot mein daal di, Pitaji ke saath khud ki chudai shuru kar di. Meri ungliyan patli thi, Pitaji ke mote lund ke muqable mein kuch bhi nahi, lekin phir bhi meri choot ko jo maza aa raha tha, woh gajab tha. Main Pitaji ke mote lund ko dekhti rahi, sochti rahi ki yeh abhi meri choot mein hai, ki main isse chudai kar rahi hoon. Mera maza aur badhta gaya, woh sukoon aur excitement jo mujhe Sameer ke saath chudai mein bhi nahi mila tha, usse bhi upar tha.
Main apni awaaz chhod di, thodi si sharam ke saath siskiyan bharne lagi, mere sar se lekar pairon tak, pura jism itna sukoon mein tha, aisa ehsaas jo maine pehle kabhi nahi mehsoos kiya tha. Main isme doob gayi, Pitaji ke saath apni pehchaan bhool gayi, dharam-acharam bhool gayi, Sameer ko bhool gayi, ghadi ki tik-tik bhool gayi.
Aakhir mein, main aur Pitaji ek saath jhad gaye. Uska garam pani mere chehre pe, meri nighty pe chhidak gaya, uski mani ki uksati si khushboo mere chehre pe, jaise makeup laga ho, itni chikni aur khushbudar. Jhadte waqt main itni madhosh ho gayi thi ki mera jism jaise hawa mein tairne laga, safed baadlon ki taraf udne laga.
Jhadne ke baad, mere jism mein koi taakat nahi bachi thi, itna zor ka experience tha. Jhadne ka woh ehsaas kabhi nahi bhoolne wala tha, kaash waqt usi pal mein ruk jata.
Jhadne ke baad mujhe hosh aaya. Maine yeh kya kar diya? Main khud se nafrat karne lagi, maine aisa kyun kiya? Ab Sameer aur Pitaji ka saamna kaise karungi? Mujhe bahut pachtava hua, Sameer aur Pitaji ke liye guilt se bhar gayi. Main ek besharam aurat thi, dil mein khud ko kosne lagi.
Achanak mujhe maut ka khayal aaya, khudkushi ka khayal, taki is guilt ko dho sakoon. Main machini si tarah khud ko saaf karne lagi, jaise ek zinda laash. Jab main living room mein gayi aur apne bete ko palne mein sote dekha, aur Sameer ko bedroom mein nashe mein dhut soya hua dekha, toh khudkushi ka khayal dimag se nikal gaya. Is family ke liye, main aisa soch bhi nahi sakti thi.
Main bathroom mein gayi, nahane lagi, pani mere chehre aur jism pe gir raha tha, Pitaji ke pani ke chhidakne se bilkul alag tha yeh ehsaas. Main pani se apna chehra, apna jism dhoti rahi, hosh mein aane ki koshish karti rahi, shant hone ki koshish karti rahi.
Main baar-baar apna jism dhoti rahi, shower gel laga-laga ke, lekin mujhe pata tha, chahe kitna bhi dho loon, mera jism pehle jaisa saaf nahi raha. Kam se kam mera dil toh ab ganda ho chuka tha, Pitaji ki mani jo mujh pe giri thi, woh dhone se bhi nahi ja rahi thi.
Bed pe wapas aayi, Sameer ko abhi bhi aram se sote dekha, shayad use nahi pata tha ki uski pyari Rita ne abhi ek nahi maafi ka kaam kiya tha. Sameer ki mehnat aur takleefon ke baare mein soch ke meri aankhon se aansoon nikal aaye, namkeen aur kadwe aansoon, meri guilt kam nahi ho rahi thi, maine dheere se Sameer ke chehre ko chuma. Raat bhar neend nahi aayi, kitna bhi koshish kar loon.
Sameer ke liye guilt mein doobi hui, aur raat bhar jagne ki wajah se, main subah jaldi uthi aur pehli baar Sameer ke liye nashta banaya. Yeh pehle kabhi nahi hua tha, aksar Sameer hi kabhi-kabhi mere liye nashta banata tha. Sameer ki khushi bhari muskaan dekh ke meri guilt thodi si kam hui.
Sach mein, Sameer ka pyar mere liye usse kahi zyada tha jo maine uske liye kiya tha. Use bas meri mohabbat chahiye thi, aur shayad kal raat ki galti ke baad mujhe achanak dar laga ki main Sameer aur apna ghar na kho doon, isliye main inhe aur qadar karne lagi. Main Sameer se aur bhi zyada pyar karne lagi. Main soch bhi nahi sakti thi ki Sameer ke bina main kaise jeeyungi, isliye mujhe ab uska aur khayal rakhna tha, use phir se dukh nahi dena tha.
Hosh mein aane ke baad mujhe Pitaji ka bhi khayal aaya. Kal raat main itni madhosh thi ki maine yeh nahi socha ki Pitaji nashe mein the ya nashe ka natak kar rahe the. Agar Pitaji hosh mein the, toh main unka saamna kaise karungi? Woh mujhe, apni hawas bhari bahu ko, kaise dekhenge? Agar unhone Sameer ko yeh baat bata di toh?
Kaam ke baad main apne ghar ke neeche ruk gayi, upar jane se darti rahi. Lekin mujhe haqeeqat ka saamna toh karna hi tha, isliye himmat juta ke dheere-dheere upar chadhne lagi. Main dheere chali, dil mein chahti thi ki yeh seedhiyan kabhi khatam na ho, taki mujhe Pitaji ka saamna na karna pade.
Aakhir mein darwaza tak pahunch gayi, kaanpte haathon se chaabi se darwaza khola. Darwaza khula, aur Pitaji TV dekhte hue nazar aaye. Mujhe dekh ke unhe hairani hui, unki aankhon mein ek intezaar sa tha, jaise woh kab se meri raah dekh rahe ho. Woh khade hue aur mujhse baat karne lage, lekin main turant apna sir jhuka liya, unki aankhon mein aankhein nahi mila paayi.
Shayad meri pareshani ko mehsoos kar ke, Pitaji ne poocha ki kya main bimar hoon. Pitaji ko pehle jaisa hi dekh ke mujhe laga ki unhe kal raat ke baare mein kuch nahi pata, aur yeh baat jaan ke main thodi shant hui.
Pitaji ko dekh ke meri guilt phir se jag gayi, aur saath hi kal raat ki hawas bhi dil mein ubharne lagi. Main Pitaji ke saath khana khati rahi, ghar sambhalti rahi.
Pehle se ek hi farak tha - ab main Pitaji ke saamne sharmati thi, jaise ek rajkumari apne rajkumar ko dekh ke sharmaati hai, aur kal raat ka woh ehsaas yaad karti thi, Pitaji ke lund ki shaan yaad aati thi. Main chupke-chupke Pitaji ke pajame mein chhupa uska lund dekhti thi, jo kabhi-kabhi apni shaan daar shakal dikhata tha. Main apna dhyan hatane ki koshish karti, lekin jaanti thi ki mera dil dheere-dheere haar raha tha.
Kya is duniya mein pachtave ki koi goli hai? Agar sab kuch pehle jaisa ho sakta, toh main woh articles aur tasveerein nahi dekhti jo ab mujhe kha rahi hain. Kya is duniya mein koi zehar hai? Chahe woh bhoolne ki dawa ho, mujhe in beete dino ko bhula do, meri yaadein meri saaf beeti mein wapas le jao. Dar mere dil mein ghar karne laga, mujhe dar tha ki ek din main khud ko rok nahi paungi, ki main phir se Sameer ke saath dhoka kar doongi. Lekin Sameer ke liye mera pyar sabse upar tha, meri hawas se bhi. Maine dil mein Sameer se wada kiya, “Mere pyare, main tujhse wada karti hoon, chahe hawas mujhe kitna bhi control kare, main apna jism tere liye bacha ke rakhungi, apni aakhri seema bachaungi. Tere siwa kisi aur mard ko apni choot mein nahi ghusne doongi, chahe main akeli aur boodhi kyun na ho jaoon. Honey, tu mere dil mein ekdum anokha hai, main tujhse pyar karti hoon.”