UPDATE - 1
Hawa Uncle Pankaj ke bade se bungalow mein bhari hui thi, funeral ke phoolon ki woh meethi-meethi khushboo har jagah chipki hui thi.
Raj living room mein awkward khada tha, uske broad shoulders ek ill-fitting white kurta ke neeche jhuke hue the jo uski mom ne zabardasti pehnaya tha. At eighteen, abhi-intermediate pass karke aaya, youth ki awkward earnestness se bhara hua, woh is ghar of sorrow mein intruder jaisa feel kar raha tha. Uske father ne trip se excuse maar diya tha, Kolkata mein "urgent office work" ke mountain ke neeche daba hua, leaving Raj ko dutiful son aur protector ka role play karne ke liye. Protector of what exactly? Usse khud bhi nahi pata tha abhi.
Lekin jab uski nazar room mein ghumi, toh uski mom Sri par padi. Tall aur graceful, five-foot-eleven ki height mein woh space mein innate poise ke saath move kar rahi thi. Uski simple maroon saree uspar shadow ki tarah lapeti hui thi. Modest thi jaise hamesha — shoulder par tightly pinned, pallu chest par decently draw kiya hua — lekin woh uske heartbreaking fullness of figure ko chhupane mein kafi nahi thi. Uski heavy aur rounded breasts har saans ke saath upar-neeche ho rahi thi. Waist abhi bhi narrow thi, motherhood ki soft curve ke bawajood. Uska chehra — oh woh chehra — high cheekbones, late thirties ki raven black hair se framed, full lips subdued maroon se painted, aur aankhein monsoon clouds jaisi, ab Anjali ke liye roye hue aansuon se laal.
Anjali. Forty-two ki umar mein itni jaldi chali gayi, sudden aneurysm se, jab woh Rony ke college uniforms fold kar rahi thi. Funeral toh chants aur incense ka blur tha, lekin ab aftermath mein asli mourning shuru hua tha. Uncle Pankaj armchair mein dhukhi baitha tha, uska pehle vibrant body loss se shrink ho gaya tha, aankhein hollow sockets ban gayi thi, chehra raat bhar mein ek decade budha gaya tha.
"She was the light, Sri," woh murmur kiya, awaaz dry earth ki tarah crack karti hui. "Ab main kya karun? Kaise... kaise continue karun?"
Sri apne bhai ke saamne ghutno par baith gayi, uske haathon ko apne haathon mein le liya, uski ungliyan lambi aur elegant, nails unpainted jaise uske chaste vows ke mutabik. "Pankaj," woh whisper ki, awaaz soothing balm jaisi, "Tum akela nahi jaoge. Hum yahan hain. Raj aur main — hum tumhari family hain. Anjali ka pyaar ab hum mein zinda hai. Sabse zyada Rony mein." Uski aankhein fresh tears se chamak rahi thi, woh room ke corner mein apne nephew ki taraf ghumi.
Rony. Raj ka cousin, same age lekin build aur bearing mein duniya bhar ka fark. Jahan Raj solid aur broad-chested tha, wahan Rony short, slim, pale skin jo jaldi flush ho jati thi aur dark hair jo forehead par artful disarray mein girta tha. Woh wall ke sahare lean kiya hua tha, arms crossed over rumpled white shirt, black trousers narrow hips par loose latke hue. Uski aankhein crying se laal thi, lekin Raj ne woh glint dekha — sharp, calculating flicker jo aansuon ke peeche chhupa tha. Jaise koi predator vulnerability ka natak kar raha ho, aur yeh dekh kar Raj ke daant peechhe se baj gaye.
Phir yeh hua. Jaise hi Sri apne bhai ko embrace karne ke liye uthi, Rony room ke across launch ho gaya. "Auntie!" woh chillaya, awaaz high boyish sobs mein toot rahi thi. Woh usse poori tarah turn hone se pehle hi takraya, uske arms uski waist ke around desperate clutch mein lapet liye. Lekin yeh simple hug nahi tha. Rony apna pura body uske saath flush press kar diya, uska chehra uske cleavage ke upar wale soft valley mein bury kar diya, exactly jahan pallu uske breasts ke swell se milta tha. Silk barrier bahut thin tha, aur Raj — sirf three feet door khada — dekh sakta tha Rony ke shoulders ka subtle upar-neeche hona, har sob ke saath hot ragged breaths fabric ke through seep kar rahi thi. Woh saansein Sri ki skin par ghost karti hui warm ho rahi thi, collarbone aur breast ke beech ke sensitive hollows ko garam karti hui, wahan ke fine hairs khade kar deti thi.
"Auntie... Woh chali gayi... Sach mein chali gayi," woh wail karta raha, words gasps mein toot rahe the, uski hot ragged breath fabric ke through uski skin ko warm kar rahi thi. "Ghar... uske bina tomb ban gaya hai. Main... please, mujhe bhi is andhere mein mat chhodna."
Sri ka maternal instinct, jo hamesha uska guiding light tha, jag utha. Usne uska sar god mein le liya, apni aankhein bhi beh rahi thi. "Shhh beta... Shhh... Main yahan hoon. Bilkul yahan, tumhe hold kiye hue. Tum akela nahi ho ismein — hum family hain aur saath milkar aansuon ko mend karenge."
Raj ne dekha, khud ko outsider feel karta hua, Rony ko stiff handshake offer kiya, jise Rony ne damp aur weak grip se pakda. Lekin jaise hi Rony hat gaya, uski nazar Sri par atki rahi — uske beautiful attractive chehre par. Phir uski aankhein uske cleavage ke upar wale damp stain par, jo lag raha tha wet spot, shayad uske aansu ya kuch aur, bahut intensity se dekhte hue, jisse Raj ki skin prickly ho gayi.
Pehli raat, somber dinner ke time, Raj ne poocha, "Uncle, Banaras ke arrangements ka kya hua? Dad ne priests ke baare mein kaha tha—"
Pankaj ne thaka hua haath hila diya. "Kal. Subah dawn mein nikal jaunga. Rites ko kam se kam ek hafta toh lagega." Uski aankhein Rony par gayi, jo plate mein rice ko idhar-udhar kar raha tha, shattered adolescence ki picture.
“Ghar... bahut khali ho gaya hai. Rony... main usse saath nahi le ja sakta, warna uska trauma phir se trigger ho jayega. Kya tum aur Raj yahan ruk sakte ho? Uske saath company karoge? Woh grief mein akela nahi rehna chahiye. Main beg karta hoon. Please stay. Uske companions bano. Tum dono hi family ho jisse woh bina toote cling kar sake."
Sri ne ek second bhi nahi socha. Usne table ke across haath badha kar Rony ke haath par rakh diya. "Bhai, yeh kaisi baat hai? Hum blood se bandhe hain. Rony, suno — tum orphan nahi ho. Is moment se mujhe apni second mother samajh lo. Jo bhi shadows tumhe haunt kar rahe hain, jo bhi price unhe banish karne ka, batao. Main vow karti hoon beta, main is path par tumhare saath chalungi, saare hollows ko bharungi jab tak heal na ho jaaye. Anjali ke liye. Is family ke liye."
Rony ne upar dekha, uski aankhein wide aur shimmering. Usne uska haath apne hothon tak le ja kar uski knuckles par soft lingering kiss kiya. “Thank you Aunty. Yeh mere liye bahut matlab rakhta hai. Abhi toh main apni lost mother ki memories ke saath rehna chahta hoon kyunki koi uski jagah nahi le sakta. Lekin dil se bahut wish karta hoon ki ek din tum uski jagah bhar dogi aur us din se main tumhe... Maa kahunga,” usne whisper kiya. Sri ki saans ruk gayi, aankhein endearment se mist ho gayi. Pehli baar usne yeh word use kiya tha, aur woh still water mein patthar ki tarah gira, uske chaste dil mein ripples paida kar gaya, yeh dikhate hue ki uski chhoti si duniya mein woh kitni important thi.
Uski soch mein yeh pure tha — motherless boy ki pukar, jo uske apne bachpan ke loss ko echo kar rahi thi jab uski maa young age mein chali gayi thi.
"Oh beta," woh whisper ki, uska haath briefly squeeze karte hue, uska touch bilkul maternal, koi spark ke bina. "Main uski replacement nahi ho sakti, is zindagi mein koi nahi ban sakta, lekin... main try karungi."
Raj ka jaw tight ho gaya. "Maa" shabd hawa mein latka hua tha, sirf filial longing nahi balki kuch darker — vulnerability ke guise mein future claim. Rony ki aankhon mein jab usne ‘Maa’ kaha tha, woh gratitude nahi tha. Woh possession tha.
Baad mein Raj ne apni unease voice ki. “Mom, woh jis tarah tumhe dekhta hai... uske random physical touches... mujhe samajh nahi aa raha... yeh disgust karta hai mujhe.”
Usne dismissive haath hilaya, aankhein concern se soft. “Raj, silly mat bano. Baccha affection ke liye starved hai. Usne apni maa kho di hai. Usse sirf ek aurat ka comfort chahiye. Bas yahi hai. Apni insecurities ko ispe project mat karo."
"Lekin—"
"Bas beta." Uska tone soft hua, lekin finality wahi thi. Usne haath badha kar uske cheek ko cup kiya, thumb se uski jaw ko familiar grounding way mein brush kiya. "Tum protective ho — mujhe yahi bahut pasand hai tum mein. Lekin Rony ko ab humari zarurat hai. Purely, innocently. Suspicion se isko poison mat karo."
"Mom main uske pain ko samajhta hoon... lekin tumhare saath uska behavior kuch aur hai... galat lagta hai"
"Tum kabhi uske pain ko nahi samajh sakte Raj... Tumne young age mein apni mother nahi khoi... Maine khoi thi... Mujhe pata hai yeh kaisa feel hota hai."
Aakhri line sun kar Raj bilkul speechless ho gaya.
Ab aur kya keh sakta tha woh.
Yahi tha uska mantra. "Usse sirf comfort chahiye."