Erotica Huma Phir Fansi

[xxxsimplewriterxxx_]

STAGE SHOW

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Huma college ki cafeteria mein ek corner table par baithi aaram se apni chocolate-loaded cold coffee ke maze le rahi thi. Cafeteria mein behad shor-sharaba tha. Pure college mein ek alag hi chahal-pahal thi, kyunki aaj juniors ka welcome fest—fresher's party shuru hone wali thi. Har taraf colorful banners, balloons aur mic testing ki aawazein aa rahi thin: "Hello, mic testing, one-two-three..."

Huma ne cold coffee ki straw se ek lamba sip liya aur wahan ghoom rahe naye-naye darr-sehme freshers ko dekhne lagi. Unhe dekh kar use apne college ke shuruati din yaad aa gaye, jab woh bhi aisi hi sahmi hui masoom chidiya ban kar ghoomti thi.

Lekin unhi lamhon ke beech, use apne freshman year ka ek aisa kaand kissa yaad aa gaya jise soch kar hi uski muniya mein thodi gudgudi hone lagi. Usne yaad kiya ki kaise ek lambe, chode senior ne—jo us waqt student council ka lead tha aur bade roob mein tha—use registration line se utha kar dushala room (backstage storage) mein documents verify karne ke bahane bula liya tha. Huma tab ekdum naye-naye suit mein sharif ban kar aayi thi. Senior ne use raub dikhate hue room lock kiya aur uski gulabi salwar ka nada khol kar use wahan rakhe plastic ke purane drums par jhuka diya tha. Senior ke mote auzaar ne jab pehli baar Huma ki tight aur gili chut ko choda tha, toh Huma ne shor machane ke bajaye pura maza liya tha.

"Uff... pehla din aur pehli chudai... woh bhi registrar office ke theek peeche," Huma ne man hi man socha aur sharm se laal ho gayi. Usne jaldi se cold coffee ka cup table par rakha aur apne chehre par haath pherte hue khud ko sambhala. "Shit! Koi dekh lega to sochenge main pata nahi kya soch kar blushing kar rahi hoon. Ek toh ye tharak bhi na, kahin bhi shuru ho jati hai."

Huma abhi apne kapde aur dupatta thik karke class ki taraf jaane ke liye khadi hi hui thi ki cafeteria ke exit door par aate hi peeche se kisi ne zor se chilla kar uska naam pukara:

"Huma! Huma! Ruko yaar!"

Huma ne mud kar dekha. Dance club ki do members—Nisha aur Riya—haanphate hue uski taraf bhaag kar aa rahi thin. Unke chehron par aisi ghabraahat thi jaise unhone kisi chapri ka 8-inch ka auzaar dekh liya ho.

Huma ne rukte hue poocha, "Kya hua tum dono ko? Aise kyun bhaag rahi ho?"

Nisha ne Huma ka haath pakad liya, "Yaar Huma, shukr hai tu mil gayi! Tujhe abhi ke abhi fresher fest mein perform karna hoga!"

Huma ke hosh ud gaye. Usne hairani se apni badi-badi aankhein failayi aur boli, "Kya?! Pagal ho gayi ho kya? Main kyun perform karoon? Main toh dance club ki official performer bhi nahi hoon aur na hi maine koi practice ki hai!"

Riya ne ghabra kar kaha, "Arrey sun toh sahi! Jo ladki main lead mein perform karne wali thi, uska pair mud gaya hai aur woh chal bhi nahi pa rahi."

Huma ne turant dimaag lagaya, "Kaun? Farzana?"

"Haan! Farzana! Woh abhi college ke nurse's office mein hai. Jaldi chal humare sath!" Nisha ne Huma ko khinchte hue kaha.

Huma bina kuch soche-samjhe nurse's office ki taraf bhaagi. Raste mein juniors aur seniors use dekh rahe the, par Huma ki poori tawajju Farzana par thi.

Jaise hi Huma ne nurse's office ka darwaza khola, usne dekha ki Farzu (Farzana) ek bed par baithi thi. Uske ek pair par bandage bandha hua tha aur uske haath mein ice pack tha. Farzana ka chehra rona-rona ho rakha tha aur aasu tapak rahe the. Usne jaise hi Huma ko andar aate dekha, uski aankhon mein umeed ki kiran chamak uthi.

"Humaaa!" Farzu lagbhag rote hue chillayi aur Huma ke gale lag gayi. "Meri kismat hi kharab hai yaar! Stage ke peeche chalte-chulte mera pair udhar pade ek wiring board par phisal gaya aur ab dekho... itna bada sprain ho gaya!"

Huma ne uske pair ko dekha, "Arrey baap re! Par ab kya hoga? Show toh agle 15 minute mein shuru hone wala hai!"

Farzu ne Huma ke dono haath pakad liye, uski aankhon mein aansu the aur woh rote-rote boli, "Huma, meri jaan, please meri jagah tu perform kar le! Agar humne show cancel kiya toh dance club ki beizzati ho jayegi. Aur tu toh mera poora dance routine jaanti hai!"

Huma ne apna haath peeche khinchte hue chidkar kaha, "Farzu, tu dimaag se khisak gayi hai kya? Mujhe dhang se chalna nahi aata aur tu keh rahi hai ki main itne bade crowd ke samne stage par dance karoon? Mujhse nahi hoga!"

Farzu ne haath jodte hue kaha, "Arrey koshish toh kar! Wahan stage par bas chote kapde pehan kar thoda thumka lagana hai, baki sab lighting aur crowd sambhal lega!"

Huma ko Farzu par bada gussa aaya. "Saali! Khud ka pair tod kar baith gayi aur ab mujhe sabke samne nanga karke nachana chahti hai!" Par Farzu uski best friend thi, aur uski rote hue shakal dekh kar Huma ka dil pighal gaya. Huma ne apna gussa thukte hue kaha, "Chal theek hai! Tere liye kar rahi hoon ye, baad mein iska hisab lungi."

Huma jaldi se dance club ke room mein gayi jahan baki ladkiyan costume aur makeup lekar tayyar khadi thin. Kuch hi der mein Farzu bhi nurse's office se dard ke maare langdate aur karrahte hue kisi tarah wahan aa pahunchi. Woh bhale hi chal nahi pa rahi thi, par apni best friend ka hausla badhane ke liye usne sara dard bardasht kiya aur wahan chali aayi. Nisha ne turant apne phone par woh dance routine play kiya jo Farzana ko perform karna tha. Gaana tha—"Kala Chashma".

Huma ne jaise hi screen par Katrina Kaif ke fast-paced hip-hop steps aur jumping moves dekhe, uske haath-pair phool gaye. Huma ne chillate hue kaha, "Oye! Ye kya hai? Ye ladki toh bandar ki tarah ud rahi hai! Itne advanced steps mere se is 10 minute mein kaise honge? Main toh pehle hi step par stage se neeche gir jaungi!"

Dance club ki baki ladkiyan bhi pareshan ho gayin. Sab aapas mein bahas karne lagin ki ab kaun sa gaana lagayein aur kya karein.

Tabhi Huma ki nazar YouTube par chal rahe usi clip ke side mein ek doosre suggested track par padi. Woh ek mashhoor Bollywood item song ka video tha jahan heroine behad hot aur chote kapdo mein apni sexy kamar lachka rahi thi aur background mein crowd pagal ho raha tha.

Huma ke dimaag mein ek shandar aur shaitani idea aaya. Usne muskura kar dance club ki ladkiyon ki taraf dekha aur boli:

"Ek minute! Kala Chashma ko goli maaro. Usme bahut mehnat hai. Mujhe bas is item song par nachao."

Riya ne hairani se poocha, "Item song? Par iske steps..."

Huma ne apni heavy chest aur patli kamar ko haath lagate hue kaha, "Steps ki aisi ki taisi! Tum bas mujhe ekdam sexy aur chote kapde pehna do—ek tight choli aur choti si ghagra-skirt. Main stage par jaakar bas apni sexy body ko music par shake karungi aur thumke lagaungi. Mujhe pata hai ki mardo ko kab aur kaise pagal karna hai. Jab main apni kamar lachkaungi na, toh pure college ke ladke aur wahan baithe seniors tharak ke maare stage par hi gir padenge. Koi steps nahi dekhega!"

Dance club ki ladkiyan ek-doosre ka muh dekhne lagin, aur phir sabke chehron par ek shaitani muskaan aa gayi. "Idea toh solid hai!"

Nisha aur baki ladkiyon ne turant bina koi waqt ganwaye Huma ko taiyaar karna shuru kiya. Unhone use ek behad chamkili aur tight gulabi choli pehnayi jo uske bhaari boobs ko mushkil se dhak rahi thi, aur neeche ek behad choti aur dhili-dhili ghagra-skirt pehnayi jo uski patli kamar par tiki thi. Dupatte ko unhone hata hi diya taaki uski gori peeth poori tarah chamke.

Costume pehan kar Huma jab mirror ke samne khadi hui, toh use thoda darr aur thoda excitement dono ek sath feel ho raha tha. Green room ki AC ki thandi hawa uske nange badan aur gori thighs par lag rahi thi, jisse uski thand aur badh gayi. Woh thithurte hue boli, "Yaar Nisha, kuch zyada hi thand lag rahi hai is kapde mein... aur kuch pehnane ke liye nahi hai kya?"

Nisha ne haste hue uske baal khule chhode aur boli, "Kuch aur pehna diya toh log item song par nahi, tere kapdon par dhyan denge. Ab chal, teri bari hai!"

Tabhi mic par anchor ki aawaz goonji:

"And now, ladies and gentlemen! Humare dance club ki sabse garam aur dhansoo performer... Huma! Woh aaj aap sab ke samne ek behad hot item song par dance karne ja rahi hain! Put your hands together for Huma!"

Apna naam sunkar Huma ke pet mein chintiyon ne daud lagayi. Uska dil dhadak-dhadak karke gale tak aa gaya. Performance area ki lights on ho chuki thin aur crowd ka shor sunai de raha tha. Huma ne ek lambi saans li aur aage badh gayi.

Stage par kadam rakhte hi spotlight sidhe uske gore badan par padi. Chote kapdon mein Huma ki voluptuous body ko dekh kar niche baithe ladkon aur seniors ne seetiyan aur taaliyan bajana shuru kar diya. Huma ne muskura kar apni kamar lachkayi aur music shuru hone ka wait karne lagi.

Lekin yahin se Huma ki kismat ne aisi karwat li ki comedy of errors shuru ho gayi.

Jaise hi DJ ne music play kiya, speakers se pehle toh ajeeb si chn-chn-chn ki aawaz aayi, aur phir achanak behad tez fati hui aawaz mein ek track shuru hua. Lekin woh koi dance number nahi tha, balki galti se DJ ne ek purana shadi ka bhajan play kar diya—"Suno Suno Deviyon aur Sajjano..."

Crowd mein sannata chha gaya. Huma wahan freeze ho gayi, uska muh khula ka khula reh gaya. Backstage se Nisha ne DJ ke sar par thappad maara aur chilayi, "Oye pagal! Ye kya chalaya? Actual track chala!"

DJ ne hadbadi mein button dabaya, aur music change hokar wahi item song shuru hua. Huma ne chain ki saans li aur thumka lagana shuru kiya. Usne apni kamar jaise hi hilayi, crowd phir se chilla utha, "Huma! Huma!"

Huma abhi form mein aa rahi thi aur thoda aur ghoom kar apni gaand matkane hi wali thi ki tabhi main speaker se *BOOM!* ki aawaz aayi aur usme se dhuan nikalne laga. Sound system ka amplifier phuk chuka tha. Track achanak se band ho gaya aur speakers se ek behad tez aur kaan phaad dene wali *shhh-screeech* ki aawaz aane lagi.

Huma ne darr ke maare apne kaan band kar liye. Par hadbadi mein wahan lage heavy mist-fan (paani spray karne wale pankhe) ka pipe toot gaya aur floor par paani behne laga, jisse pure platform ki satah bilkul gili aur slipry ho gayi.

Backstage se Farzana ne chillakar ishara kiya, "Huma! Bina music ke hi thumka maar! Crowd shor macha raha hai!"

Huma ne socha ki chalo, bina music ke hi kuch thumke maar kar scene sambhalti hoon. Usne apna pair aage badhaya aur apni kamar ko ek jhatka diya. Lekin gili floor par Huma ke nange pair ne grip khodi. Uska ek foot aage phisla aur woh balance khote hue cartoon characters ki tarah hawa mein haath-pair chalane lagi.

"Areee baap reeee!" Huma chilayi.

Huma ne girte-girte paas lage ek mic stand ko pakadne ki koshish ki. Par woh stand pakadte hi toot gaya aur Huma us heavy metal pipe ke sath seedhe aage ki taraf phisalti chali gayi. Platform ke kinare par rakhe flower pots se takra kar woh pots bhi niche gire aur unka mitti-keechad Huma ke chehre aur choli par phail gaya.

Lekin tamasha yahan bhi nahi ruka. Huma ka momentum itna tez tha ki woh bilkul edge par pahunch gayi. Neeche first row mein college ke principal aur strict teachers baithe the. Huma ne girte-girte khud ko sambhalne ki aakhri koshish ki, par aakhir-kaar woh platform se seedhe neeche ja giri—aur theek pehli row mein baithe physics ke chashme wale senior professor, Mr. Sharma, ki god mein ja dhahi!

Huma ka bhaari jism aur mic stand jab Mr. Sharma par gire, toh dono chairs ke sath piche ki taraf zameen par dher ho gaye. Aur is koshish mein, Huma ki choli ka ek strap toot gaya, jise usne jaldi se ek haath se chhipane ki koshish ki, jabki dusre haath se unka chashma uski ghagra mein atka hua tha.

Pure hall mein sannata chha gaya, aur phir agle hi pal sab ke sab pet pakad kar hasne lage. Juniors aur seniors sab floor par lot-pot ho rahe the.

Huma ke chehre par keechad laga tha, baal bikhre hue the, ek haath choli par tha aur woh professor ke upar giri hui thi. Usne man hi man socha, "Farzu saali, tera flat mil na mil, mera janaza toh aaj pakka nikal gaya!"

Farzu, jo backstage khadi dard se karrahte hue sab dekh rahi thi, jaldi se langdate hue neeche aayi aur Nisha ki madad se Huma ko uthaya. Huma ka sharm ke maare bura haal tha. Uska gora badan mitti se sana hua tha, aur choli ka strap tootne ki wajah se woh ek haath se apni izzat ko sambhale roti-roti wahan se bhaag khadi hui. Woh seedhe green room mein gayi, jaldi se apne sadharan kapde pehne, aur bag uthakar bina kisi se mile chupchaap campus se ghar bhaag gayi.

Agle char-panch din Huma ne college jaane se saaf mana kar diya. Jab bhi Ammi poochti ki woh classes kyun nahi ja rahi, toh Huma sar dard ya bukhar ka bahana bana kar cooler ke samne chadar taan kar let jaati. Uske dimaag mein baar-baar wahi scene ghoomta—woh slip hona, mic stand ke sath phisalna, aur seedhe physics wale khadoos-buddhe professor Sharma ki god mein girna! Huma ko lagta tha ki agar woh ab campus gayi, toh pure college ke ladke aur seniors use dekh kar hasenge aur taane marenge.

Farzu ne use lagatar call aur message kiye, par Huma ne kisi ka dhang se jawab nahi diya. Aakhir-kaar, paanchve din Farzu khud langdate hue Huma ke ghar pahunchi.

Huma ne use apne kamre mein liya aur darwaza band karke gusse mein boli, "Saali! Teri wajah se meri poore college mein thoo-thoo ho gayi! Main ab kabhi us jagah kadam nahi rakhungi!"

Farzu ne haskar uske kandhe par haath rakha, "Arrey meri pyari darling! Tu bilkul pagal hai kya? Ek baar chal toh sahi mere sath. College mein koi teri beizzati nahi kar raha hai, balki kuch aur hi chal raha hai. Tu chalegi tabhi toh dekh payegi!"

Farzu ke bahut manane aur kasmein dene ke baad, Huma agle din college jaane ke liye raazi ho gayi. Usne ek bada sa dupatta lapeta aur chashma pehankar dabe paon campus mein dakhil hui, jaise koi chor ghus raha ho. Uska dil darr ke maare tez dhadak raha tha.

Cafeteria ke paas pahunchte hi, Huma ne dekha ki wahan ladkon ka ek bada group baitha tha aur aapas mein bade utsah se baat kar raha tha. Huma ne darrte hue apne kaan unki taraf lagaye.

Ek ladka bol raha tha, "Bhai, welcome fest mein jo dance club ki taraf se ladki aayi thi... kya aag thi yaar! Maine waisi sexy kamar aur heavy boobs aaj tak nahi dekhe!"

Dusra ladka bola, "Haan yaar! Par woh thi kaun? Kisi ko uska naam pata chala kya?"

Teesra bola, "Arrey, anchor ne koi 'Huma' naam pukara tha, par hamare batch ki Huma toh ekdum shareef salwar-suit wali hai, woh aisi hot item girl thodi na ho sakti hai! Aur waise bhi, us dance karne wali ka chehra toh poora keechad aur mitti se dhaka hua tha, aur baal bikhre hue the. Kisi ko pata hi nahi chala ki woh kaun thi! Humare college ki koi 'Mysterious Hottie' hai woh!"

Huma ke hosh ud gaye. Usne aage badh kar canteen ke paas baithe seniors ki baatein bhi suni. Woh sab bhi welcome fest ki 'Mysterious Hot Performer' ki hi charcha kar rahe the. Koi keh raha tha ki woh koi bahar ki professional dancer thi, toh koi keh raha tha ki woh college ki sabse sexy aur chhipi hui rani hai jise koi dhoop mein dekh hi nahi paata. Sab uski lachakti body aur husn ki taareefon ke pull baandh rahe the, aur uske stage se girne ko log 'wild aur crazy performance style' samajh rahe the!

Kisi ko door-door tak andaza nahi tha ki roz simple salwar-suit mein aane wali tehzabi Huma hi woh item girl thi jo professor Sharma ki god mein giri thi. Sabke dimaag mein woh mitti-keechad se sana hot avatar ek 'mysterious item dancer' ban kar chhap chuka tha.

Yeh sunte hi Huma ke chehre par jo darr tha, woh pal bhar mein gayab ho gaya. Uska sharmila chehra ab ek harami aur ghamandi muskaan mein badal gaya. Usne dupatta thoda khiskaya, apne heavy boobs ko aage ki taraf push kiya aur apni chal mein ek sexy lachak laate hue canteen ki taraf badh gayi.

Usne man hi man socha, "Wah! Choli tuti toh tuti, par izzat ka toh solid promotion ho gaya! Chalo, ab is 'Mysterious Hottie' ka tag lekar college mein thoda aur dhab-dhab machate hain!"

Farzu ne peeche se aakar Huma ki kamar par chutki kaati aur dhiime se boli, "Kyun begum? Khus ho na?"

 

[champion242019]

shndar

 

[Valour]

Very nice update

 

[xxxsimplewriterxxx_]

THE BOLLYWOOD CALL

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Ghar ke kamre mein cooler ghun-ghun karke chal raha tha aur Huma apne bed par bilkul aalsi bandariya ki tarah ulti leti hui thi. Usne ek dheeli-dhaali purani nighty pehni hui thi aur apne pair hawa mein hila rahi thi. Uske baal bikhre hue the, ek haath se woh apni kamar khujate hue doosre haath se phone par Instagram scroll kar rahi thi. Table par ek chips ka packet aur paani ki bottle padi thi—chips ka packet lagbhag khaali ho chuka tha, bas tootey-phootey tukde bache the jinhe Huma baar-baar ungliyon se kuredte hue muh mein daal rahi thi.

College mein jo welcome fest wala kaand hua tha, uske baad Huma ko campus mein "Mysterious Hottie" ka tag mil chuka tha. Har ladka uske bare mein hi baatein kar raha tha, par ghar aakar woh wahi apni gharelu aalsi avatar mein aa jaati thi—jaise koi sherni apna costume utaar kar billi ban jaye.

Reels scroll karte-karte achanak screen par ek notification pop up hua. Instagram par kisi ka DM aaya tha.

Huma ne aalsi dhang se notification par click kiya. DM bhejne wale ka username tha—@bollystar. Profile picture mein ek bada sa film camera aur studio lighting bani hui thi, aur bio mein bade-bade aksharon mein likha tha: "Official Talent Scout & Casting Director for Bollywood Projects. We discover the next big star. DM for audition."

Huma ki aankhein turant khul gayin jaise kisi ne cooler ki jagah bijli ka jhatka de diya ho. Usne bistar par seedhe baithte hue message open kiya. Message kaafi lamba aur professional dikhne wala tha:

"Hello Huma, humne aapka welcome fest wala dance video social media par dekha. Standard is very high! Aapki lachak, aapke expressions aur aapki body language mein ek alag hi star quality hai. Hum abhi ek bade budget ki Bollywood movie ke liye casting kar rahe hain jismein lead actor Varun Dhawan hain. Hum ek fresh face dhoond rahe hain jo unke opposite fit baith sake. Agar aap interested hain, toh please hume apni kuch achhi photos bhejiye—ek modern look (jeans mein) aur ek traditional/ethnic look (saree mein) taaki hum aapke look ko shortlist kar sakein."

Huma ka dil dhadak-dhadak karke bhaagne laga. Bollywood! Varun Dhawan! Uski aankhon ke samne sapne shuru ho gaye—woh designer saree pehan kar red carpet par chal rahi hai, cameraman uski taraf flash maar rahe hain, aur Varun Dhawan uska haath thaam kar keh raha hai: "Huma ji, aapke bina yeh film adhuri hai!"

Huma bistar se kood kar uthi aur seedha kamre ke aaine ke samne ja khadi hui. Usne apni nighty ke upar se hi ek filmy pose maara—ek haath kamar par, doosra haath hawa mein—aur aaine mein khud ko dekh kar boli, "Hmm! Hai Allah! Yeh toh wahi chehra hai jiska Bollywood ko intezar tha!" Phir usne aaine ke samne hi apni Filmfare Award acceptance speech ki rehearsal shuru kar di: "Sabse pehle main apni ammi ka shukriya ada karungi... phir Varun Dhawan ka jo mujh par itna bharosa kiya... aur Farzu teri toh main... nahi, Farzu ka naam nahi lungi, woh jealous ho jayegi."

Usne apna sir jhatka, baal set kiye aur socha, "Is baar koi galti nahi chalegi. Main apni sabse best photos bhejungi."

Usne turant reply kiya: "Ji haan, mujhe bahut interest hai! Main abhi apni best photos bhej rahi hoon, bas ek minute dijiye."

Huma ne apni phone ki gallery kholi aur select karna shuru kiya.

Pehle usne modern look ke liye photo dhoondhi. Usne ek aisi photo select ki jismein usne ek tight high-waist blue jeans aur ek white crop top pehna tha. Us photo mein uski patli kamar aur curves ekdum saaf aur attractive dikh rahe the, aur uske khule baal hawa mein udd rahe the. Yeh photo usne pichle mahine mall ke washroom ke mirror ke paas bohot mehnat se click ki thi—lagbhag 47 selfies ke baad yeh ek photo aayi thi jismein uski double chin nahi dikh rahi thi.

Phir usne traditional look ke liye photo dhoondhi. Usne ek aisi photo select ki jismein usne ek gili, laal rang ki georgette saree pehni thi, jo uski body se ekdum chipki hui thi. Us photo mein usne apni gori peeth ko camera ki taraf karke ek sexy side-look diya tha. Yeh photo usne apne ghar ke terrace par Farzu se khichwayi thi—Farzu ne poore 20 minute lagaye the kyunki Huma har photo mein koi na koi nuqs nikal rahi thi.

Dono photos select karke Huma ne bina kisi deri ke @bollystar ke chat box mein drop kar diye. Uska dil darr aur excitement ke maare gale tak aa gaya tha.

Photos send hote hi chat par "Seen" ka status aa gaya. Huma ne phone ko dono haathon se tight pakda aur saans rok li.

Wahan se casting agent—jo asal mein ek neech aur gandey-dimaag wala aadmi tha jo casting couch ka dhanda chalata tha—ne jaise hi Huma ki dono photos dekhi, uske chehra chamak utha. Huma ki tight jeans wali photo aur sexy saree wala backless avatar dekh kar woh bilkul pagal ho gaya. Usne turant typing... shuru kar di.

@bollystar ka reply aaya:
"Wow! Absolutely stunning! Aapki photos dekh kar toh lagta hai ki aapko kisi audition ki zaroorat hi nahi hai, aap toh pehle se hi superstar hain. Saree mein toh aap ekdum qayamat lag rahi hain. Aapka figure aur screen presence lajawab hai!"

Huma ne jab yeh padha, toh uski ghamandi muskaan aur badi ho gayi. Usne man hi man socha, "Mujhe pata tha! Jab Huma apna jalwa dikhati hai, toh acche-acche log behosh ho jaate hain. Ab toh Varun Dhawan ke sath parallel lead pakka hai! Katrina ko toh retirement le leni chahiye ab!"

Casting agent ne aage likha:
"Lekin final project sign karne se pehle aur director ke sath meeting fix karne se pehle, hume aapka ek chota sa physical screen-test aur script reading karni hogi. Hum kal Mumbai ke ek mashhoor hotel ke room number 404 mein ek private audition rakh rahe hain, kyunki wahan humara temporary casting office chal raha hai. Kal dopahar 2 baje aap wahan pahunch jaiye. Main aapko script aur contract wahi de dunga."

Huma thodi der ke liye sochi. Hotel room? Par phir usne socha ki bade-bade Bollywood log toh hotels mein hi meeting aur audition karte hain, yeh toh aam baat hai. Uski aankhon par Bollywood ki chaka-chaundh ka aisa parda pada tha ki use saamne wale ke gandey iraadon ka ratti bhar bhi andaza nahi hua.

Usne reply kiya: "Bilkul! Kal dopahar 2 baje main wahan pahunch jaungi. Bahut-bahut shukriya is mauke ke liye!"

Agent ne reply kiya: "Great! Kal milte hain. Be ready to shine, Huma!"

Huma ne phone ko bed par rakha aur khushi ke maare bed par hi zor-zor se koodne lagi. Cooler ki hawa mein uski nighty udd rahi thi aur woh cheekh rahi thi, "Yessss! Bollywood baby! Huma ab Kapoor ya Bhatt banne ja rahi hai!" Itne zor se koodi ki niche wale uncle ki chhatt se plaster ka tukda gira aur niche se uncle ki gaali sunai di—par Huma ko kya farak padta tha, woh toh ab Bollywood star banne wali thi!

Phir usne dheere se apni nighty ke upar se kamre mein catwalk ki practice shuru kar di. Pehle seedha chali, phir haath kamar par rakh kar model jaisi chaal se chali, phir ramp ka end imagine karke ek dramatic turn liya—aur apni chappal par se phisal kar bistar ke kone se ja takrayi. "Ouch! Nahi nahi, yeh kisi ne nahi dekha. Huma kabhi nahi girtti," usne khud se kaha aur uthi.

Usne apne wardrobe ke paas jaakar kapde dekhna shuru kiya ki kal kya pehan kar jaana chahiye. Huma aadat se salwar-suit pehanne wali ladki thi, par aaj Bollywood ka bhoot chadha tha toh usne socha, "Nahi yaar, Bollywood mein kaun salwar-suit pehan kar jaata hai? Wahan toh jeans aur crop top pehan kar jaana padega, warna yeh log sochenge main kisi gaon ki bhabhi hoon!" Apne kapdo ko select karte-karte, aaine ke samne ek-ek dress try karte-karte raat ke 12 baj gaye. Uska aalsi badan ab thak chuka tha.

Woh bed par leti aur cooler ki thandi hawa mein chadar taan kar so gayi.

Us raat Huma ko ek behad rangeen sapna aaya. Sapne mein woh ek bade stage par Sheila Ki Jawani ke gaane par dance kar rahi thi, usne chamkili choli pehni hui thi aur pure crowd mein ladke uski kamar aur thumkon par pagal ho rahe the. Varun Dhawan stage par ghutno ke bal aakar use rose de raha tha. Achanak sapne mein award ceremony shuru ho gayi aur Karan Johar ne announce kiya, "Best Newcomer ka award jaata hai... Huma Alam ko!" Huma stage par chali aur trophy lete waqt uska pair mike ki wire mein phansa aur woh seedha Varun Dhawan ki god mein ja giri—par sapne mein toh sab romantic hota hai, toh Varun ne use sambhaal liya aur dono ne milkar namaste kiya. Huma nind mein hi muskura rahi thi, bilkul anjaan ki kal hotel ke room mein uske sath asal mein kya hone wala tha...

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Agle din dopahar ko Huma ki neend khuli toh uske pet mein excitement ki chintiyan daud rahi thin. Usne jaldi se naha kar taiyari shuru ki.

Huma ne apni almari se jeans aur top nikale. Apne kapdon mein se usne ek behad tight aur stylish black jeans aur ek red color ka off-shoulder crop top select kiya. Usne aaine mein dekha aur khud se boli, "Aaj salwar-suit nahi chalega. Bollywood ka pehla impression toh modern hona chahiye na!" Usne thoda sa makeup kiya—par "thoda sa" matlab Huma ke hisab se, yaani 45 minute tak aaine ke samne foundation, eyeliner, lip gloss aur kajal lagati rahi. Phir apne khule baalon ko set kiya aur ek baar phir aaine mein Filmfare pose maara. Saree ko usne ek bag mein rakh liya taaki agar wahan badalna pade toh badal sake.

Nikalne se pehle usne ek selfie li aur uski caption sochi—"Coming soon on big screen" par phir dara ki kahin koi dekh na le, toh delete kar di.

Apne phone par diye gaye address ko check karte hue usne cab book ki.

Lagbhag aadhe ghante baad jab cab ruki, toh Huma ne bahar dekha aur uski saans adhar mein latki reh gayi. Address ke mutabik wahan koi premium ya shandar 5-star hotel nahi tha, balki ek behad shady, sasti aur khandar jaisi building khadi thi jiska naam tha—"Gharonda Guest House".

Naam toh "Gharonda" tha, par yeh kisi gharonde se zyada kisi bhootiya mahal jaisa dikh raha tha. Building ke bahar gande paani ki naali beh rahi thi, deewaron par pan-gutkhe ke laal dhabbe aise the jaise kisi ne abstract painting banane ki koshish ki ho. Ek kone mein ek bakri bandhi thi jo Huma ko dekh kar "maaeee" kar ke chillaayi—jaise bol rahi ho, "Behen, ulta pad ja wapis!" Guest house ke board par "Gharonda" ki spelling "GRONDA" likhi thi aur uske niche kisi ne marker se "AC rooms avable" bhi likh diya tha—available ka "ila" kisi ne mita diya tha.

Wahan khade local chapri ladke Huma ki tight jeans mein lachakti body ko dekh kar gandi seetiyan baja rahe the. Ek ne toh gana bhi shuru kar diya—"Teri aankhon ka yo kajal..."

Huma ne thoda munh banakar socha, "Ya Khuda! Yeh kaisi ajeeb jagah hai? Bollywood ka office yahan? Yahan toh cockroach ka bhi office nahi hona chahiye!" Par phir usne khud ko hausla diya, "Chalo Huma, bade directors shuruat mein thoda low-profile rehna chahte hain taaki media se bach sakein. Salman Khan ne bhi toh shuruat mein chhoti jagahon se ki thi... shayad. Tera struggle shuru ho chuka hai!"

Woh dabe paon gande corridors se guzarte hue, tootey-phoote stairs chadh kar chauthe floor par room number 404 ke darwaze par pahunchi. Corridor mein sasti cigarette aur kisi purane khane ki ajeeb si badboo aa rahi thi. Ek manzil par ek billi ne Huma ko ghur kar dekha aur Huma ne use ghur kar waapis dekha—"Kya dekh rahi hai? Main yahan audition dene aayi hoon, tujhe koi role chahiye kya?"

Huma ne ek lambi saans li, khud ko sambhala aur darwaza knock kiya.

Darwaza turant khul gaya. Samne wahi casting agent Vicky khada tha. Usne ek ajeeb sa chamkila shirt pehna tha jo lagbhag 3 alag rangon mein chamak raha tha, aur uske gale mein ek moti, nakli gold chain thi jo har step par chhanak rahi thi. Huma ko dekhte hi uski aankhein chamak uthin, "Ah, Huma! Aao aao, tumhara hi wait ho raha tha. Bahut smart lag rahi ho!"

Huma ne muskurate hue andar kadam rakha. Usne socha tha ki andar camera, lights aur crew ke log honge, par jaise hi usne room ke andar ka nazara dekha, uske pair wahi ruk gaye.

Kamre mein ek ya do nahi, balki poore 9 mard baithe hue the!

Pure room mein smoke ka dhuan bhara hua tha aur beer ki khali bottles idhar-udhar padi thin. Woh 9 mard koi professional filmmakers nahi lag rahe the. Kisi ke pet nikle hue the, kisi ki shakal se lagta tha ki usne zindagi mein aaina nahi dekha, aur sab ke sab Huma ke andar aate hi apni bhookhi nazaron se use scan karne lage. Unki nazarein aisi thin jaise koi bakri butcher ke samne khadi ho—aur yaad karo, niche wali bakri ne Huma ko pehle hi warn kar diya tha!

Lekin tamasha yahi nahi ruka. Huma ki nazar room ke ek corner mein padi jahan do aur ladkiyan khadi thin. Unhone bhi stylish aur chote kapde pehne hue the, par unke chehron par darr aur ghabraahat saaf dikh rahi thi. Dono apne bags ko apni chhati se chipkaye baithi thin, jaise kisi ko bharosa nahi ho raha.

Huma ne unhe dekh kar socha, "Arey waah! Competition hai matlab. Chalo, dekhte hain kaun jeetega. Huma ke saamne toh yeh dono tikk nahi paayengi!" Usne apne baal jhatke aur confident pose mein khadi ho gayi.

Vicky ne muskura kar room ke beech mein khade hote hue dono haath failaye aur bola, "Huma, in sabse milo. Yeh hamari film ki core team hain. Yeh hamare financier Gupta ji, yeh hamare co-producer Verma ji, aur yeh hamare creative head..."

Tabhi un dono ladkiyon mein se ek ladki ne dheere se Huma ke paas aakar uske kaan mein phusphusaya: "Behan, tum yahan kyun aa gayi? Yeh log koi film wale nahi hain... yeh casting couch ka dhanda chala rahe hain. Hume fasa chuke hain. Yahan se bhagne ka koi rasta nahi hai..."

Huma ne us ladki ko ek ajeeb si nazar se dekha aur phusphusayi, "Arey pagal hai kya tu? Casting couch? Yeh toh Bollywood ka proper audition hai! Varun Dhawan wali film hai yeh!" Us ladki ne apna matha pakad liya.

Tabhi bistar par baitha ek mota, bhaari-bharrak aadmi—jiska pet uski pant se bahar nikal raha tha aur jo ek maili banyan pehne tha—khada ho gaya. Usne beer ki bottle table par patakte hue rakh di aur bola:

"Chalo, chalo! Sab log aa chuke hain. Vicky, darwaza band karo! Audition shuru kiya jaye."

Us mote aadmi ne teeno ladkiyon ko ghura aur apni bhaari aawaz mein bolna shuru kiya: "Suno ladkiyon, hamari film koi aam roti-daal romance wali film nahi hai. Yeh purane zamaane ke Bharat ke resistance aur freedom struggle par bani ek desh-bhakti movie hai. Kahani hai ek krantikari ladki ki jo apne parivar ko bachane ke liye ek atyachari Zamindar se badla leti hai!"

Woh itna dramatic ho gaya ki beer ki bottle ko mic ki tarah pakad kar narrate karne laga. "Us ladki ke andar ek aag hai... ek junoon hai!" Haath hawa mein lehrate hue itna josh mein aaya ki beer uski banyan par gir gayi, par usne bilkul ignore kiya aur kahani sunata raha.

Usne aage kaha, "Aur haan, sabse zaroori baat—yeh ek 'uncut' film hone wali hai. Hamari heroine ka har scene 'uncut' hoga, bina kisi censor ya cuts ke!"

Baki dono ladkiyan nadan nahi thin. "Uncut" shabd sunte hi aur wahan baithe 9 luche-lafangon ke chehre dekh kar unke dimaag ki batti jal gayi. Unhe turant samajh aa gaya ki yeh koi Bollywood film nahi balki sasti blue film ka jaal hai. Dono ke chehre peele pad gaye.

Lekin Huma bechari! Uske dimaag mein "uncut" jaisa word bilkul register hi nahi hua. Usne is word ko ekdum ignore kar diya, yeh soch kar ki yeh koi boring technical film term hoga—jaise "director's cut" ya "raw footage" type kuch. Uska saara dhyan toh bas "heroine", "Varun Dhawan" aur "lead role" par tha. Woh apni duniya mein khoyi khadi muskurati rahi aur dheere se apni acceptance speech ki lines yaad kar rahi thi.

Isse pehle ki Vicky darwaze par lock lagata, un dono ladkiyon ne ek sath apna bag uthaya, Vicky ko dhakka de kar darwaza khola aur tezi se corridor ki taraf bhaag khadi thin. Unke bhaagne ki aawaz pure corridor mein goonji: "Bhaago! Yeh log gande hain!"

Vicky chillaya, "Oye! Ruko! Kahan bhaag rahi ho!"
Par tab tak woh dono stairs se niche utar kar gayab ho chuki thin.

Vicky ne gusse mein darwaza band kiya, "Darpok saaliyan! Heroine banne chali thin!"

Ab yahan Huma ka dimaag dekho. Uske chehre par ek shaitani aur proud muskaan aa gayi. Usne apne baal peeche jhatke aur socha, "Wah! Bechariyan bhaag gayin! Ek bada English word kya suna, phat gayi bechariyon ki! Ab is film mein mere alawa koi aur candidate bacha hi nahi. Matlab... main hi ek-lauti lead heroine ban chuki hoon! Competition khatam!" Usne kamre mein baithe un 9 aadmiyon ki taraf dekha aur apna pallu—yaani apne crop top ki neckline thik karte hue ek filmy style mein sir uthaya.

Motu director ne Huma ko akele aur poore confidence se khada dekh kar apni kamyabi wali muskaan dabayi aur baaki doston ki taraf ek jeetne wali nazar se dekha.

Director ne khud ko sambhala aur bohot hi professional aur meethi aawaz mein bola: "Wah! Huma ji, aapka confidence kamaal ka hai. Humare cinema ko aisi hi bahadur ladkiyon ki zaroorat hai. Chaliye, ab main aapko film ka plot samjhata hoon."

Huma ne utsah se sir hilaya, "Ji sir! Batayiye!"

Director ne badi filmypanti ke sath plot sunana shuru kiya: "Toh kahani shuru hoti hai ek chote se gaon se. Aapka character ek seedhi-saadhi gaon ki bhabhi ka hai. Lekin musibat yeh hai ki aapka pati ek number ka bewda hai. Aur us bewde ne atyachari Zamindar se bohot bada karza le rakha hai."

Director itna josh mein aa gaya ki khada hokar acting karne laga. Usne bewde pati ki nakal karte hue ladkhadaya—aur sachchi mein apni beer bottle girane wala tha. Ek aadmi ne peechhe se bottle sambhali.

Director ne Huma ki taraf dekhte hue aage kaha, "Karza na chuka pane ki wajah se, ek raat woh Zamindar aur uske gunde aapko kidnap karke haweli le aate hain. Phir haweli mein guards ka dhyan bhatkane ke liye ek bada item number hoga—jismein aapko guards ke samne dance karna hai. Aur climax mein aap apne sasur ki madad se haweli mein aag lagakar bhaagti hain! Badla poora!"

"Hai Allah!" Huma ke toh rom-rom khil gaye. Kidnap, item song, aag—yeh toh full masala picture hai! Usne socha, "Yeh toh bilkul Singham meets Chikni Chameli jaisi blockbuster kahani hai! Un dono darpok ladkiyon ne apna nuksan khud hi kar liya."

Huma ne bade josh se boli, "Sir, main taiyaar hoon! Batayiye kahan se shuru karna hai!"

Lekin director ne use haath se roka, "Ek minute, Huma ji! Yeh scene yahan is chote room mein shoot nahi hoga. Humne sheher ke bahar ek gaon mein ekdum authentic set lagaya hai. Hum sab abhi wahin chalte hain."

Huma ne thoda hairan hokar socha, "Real location? Wah, yeh toh badi filmon jaisa system hai!" Usne khushi-khushi apna bag uthaya, "Bilkul sir, chaliye!"

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Woh sab hotel se niche parking area mein aaye. Huma ko laga tha ki wahan koi shandar SUV ya crew ka traveller hoga, par wahan ek gandi, dented white Maruti Omni khadi thi jiske sheeshe bilkul kaale the. Yeh bilkul wahi gaadi thi jo Indian filmon mein kidnapping ke scenes mein dikhti hai.

Huma ne thoda munh banakar Vicky se poocha, "Hum is... Omni mein ja rahe hain?"

Vicky ne turant chabbi ghumate hue has kar kaha, "Arey Huma ji, indie cinema ka budget tight hota hai! Aur gaon ki kachhi sadko ke liye Omni se badhiya gaadi hi nahi hai. Bumpy ride ka maza aayega!"

Huma ne ek lambi saans li, "Struggle, Huma, struggle! Katrina Kaif ne bhi shuruat mein mushkilein jheli hongi. Nakhre nahi karne chahiye."

Ab tamasha yeh hua ki 9 bhari-bharrak mard aur Huma us choti si Omni ke andar thuns-thuns kar baithne lage. Pehle 4 peeche baithe, phir 3 aur ghuse, phir Huma ko beech mein daal diya. Huma do mote aadmiyon ke beech aise pis gayi jaise burger ka patty. Ek aadmi ka kohni uske kamar mein ghus raha tha, doosre ki garam saans uski gardan par pad rahi thi. Gaadi mein AC nahi tha, toh paseene aur sasti cigarette ki mili-juli badboo se Huma ka dum ghutne laga. Usne apna dupatta—yaani apna bag—apni naak par rakha.

Jab gaadi chali toh pehle hi speed-breaker par Huma ka sir chhatt se ja takraya—"Ouch!" Peeche se kisi mote aadmi ne "sorry" bola par uski tone mein sorry kam, mazaak zyada tha.

Omni sheher ki bheed se nikal kar sunsaan highways aur kachhe raston par badhne lagi.

Huma ne notice kiya ki gaadi mein koi camera, tripod ya kuch bhi nahi hai. Usne poocha, "Sir, cameras aur crew kahan hain?"

Motu director ne beer ki chuski lete hue kaha, "Arey Huma ji, hamare cameramen aur equipment toh subah se hi gaon wale set par hain. Light settings kar rahe hain. Hum pahunchte hi seedha 'Action' shuru karenge!"

"Oh, accha!" Huma ne chain ki saans li.

Safar ke dauran, woh 9 mard aapas mein dheeme-dheeme gandey jokes maar kar has rahe the aur Huma ki taraf dekh kar ishaare kar rahe the. Ek ne doosre ke kaan mein kuch kaha aur dono haath dabaakar hase. Huma ko laga yeh log script ki kisi comedy scene par discuss kar rahe hain. Usne apna phone nikal kar khud bhi hans di—par woh toh actually Varun Dhawan ke Instagram par uski latest photos dekh rahi thi aur soch rahi thi ki unke sath couple photo kaise aayegi.

Lagbhag ek ghante ke dhool-mitti bhare safar ke baad, Omni sheher se bohot door ek sunsaan gaon ke outskirts mein ruk gayi. Aaspas door-door tak koi insaan ya doosri gaadi nahi thi, bas sookhe khet aur bikhre ped the.

Gaadi ek tootey-phoote mitti ke ghar ke samne khadi hui jiski deewaron se mitti jhad rahi thi.

Director ne proudly bahar ki taraf ishara karte hue kaha, "Dekhiye Huma ji! Yeh hai aapke character ka ghar. Yahi par Zamindar ke gunde aap par hamla karenge. Kya raw aur realistic set hai na?"

Huma gaadi se bahar utri. Dhoop tez thi aur dhool udd rahi thi. Usne us mitti ke ghar ko dekha aur apne dimaag mein khud ko ek badi revolutionary heroine ki tarah imagine kiya. Woh bilkul oblivious thi ki sheher se door, ek sunsaan khandar mein itne saare aadmiyon ke beech aayi hai.

Motu director ne aage badhte hue kaha, "Aaiye Huma ji, main aapko poora set dikhata hoon."

Woh use us mitti ke ghar ke peeche le gaya. Wahan ek bada sarson ka khet faila hua tha jahan peele-peele phool khile the, aur khet ke kinare ek purani baans ki jhopdi bani hui thi.

Huma yeh dekh kar bilkul impress ho gayi. Usne apni badi-badi aankhein failayi aur boli, "Hai Allah, sir! Yeh toh bilkul DDLJ jaisa scene lag raha hai! Sarson ke khet aur yeh jhopdi... ekdum authentic! Aapne toh kamaal ki location dhoondi hai!"

Director ne haath jod kar kaha, "Shukriya, Huma ji."

Tabhi Huma ne dhyan se aaspas dekha. Wahan koi bada movie camera, trolley, cranes ya lights nahi the. Ek ladka apne haath mein ek sasta handycam lekar khada tha.

Huma ne hichkichate hue poocha, "Sir, woh... shooting is chote handycam se hogi? Bade cameras nahi hain?"

Motu director ne turant has kar bola, "Arey Huma ji, aaj kal ka cinema badal chuka hai! Raw shoot handycam se karte hain, baad mein computer se VFX laga kar 4K ultra-HD quality bana dete hain. VFX ka zamaana hai!"

Huma ne thoda socha, "Hmm, haan! Maine bhi YouTube par dekha tha ki Hollywood mein green screen par shooting hoti hai aur computer se sab kamaal ka bana dete hain." Uska dimaag already Bollywood ki fantasy mein itna duba tha ki woh handycam ko bhi IMAX camera samajhne ko taiyaar thi.

Wahan gaon ke set par do-teen aur ladke pehle se maujood the jo "local crew" bane hue the. Ab kul mila kar wahan 11-12 aadmi ho chuke the. Huma ne count karna zaroori nahi samjha—uske liye toh sab "film crew" the.

Motu director ne tabhi ek kaale plastic bag mein se ek chamkili peele rang ki saree nikali. Saree ka kapda behad patla, sasta aur lagbhag transparent tha.

Usne saree Huma ki taraf badhate hue kaha, "Yeh lijiye Huma ji. Jaldi se jhopdi mein jaiye aur yeh peeli saree pehan lijiye. Yeh khet wale scene ke liye perfect look hai."

Huma ne us peeli saree ko haath mein liya aur dhyan se dekha. Kapda itna patla tha ki uske aar-paar ungliyan saaf dikh rahi thin. Usne thoda socha ki yeh kapda kuch zyada hi patla hai, par phir uske dimaag mein Katrina Kaif ki yellow saree wale rain scenes ghoomne lage. "Bollywood mein toh peeli saree pehanna zaroori hai. Har hit heroine ne khet mein peeli saree pehni hai. Nakhre nahi karne chahiye!"

Usne muskura kar boli, "Theek hai sir, main change karke aati hoon."

Huma jhopdi ke andar gayi. Usne plastic bag khola aur saree nikali. Phir poore bag mein haath daal kar dekha—na blouse, na peticot. Sirf wahi peeli saree ka lamba kapda.

Huma thodi pareshan hui. Usne jhopdi ke darwaze se sir nikala aur zor se pukara, "Sir! Suniye! Is bag mein na blouse hai na peticot. Saree kaise pehnu?"

Motu director ne sir jhatkaya, "Huma ji! Kahani samajhiye. Aap gaon ki gareeb bhabhi hain. Purane zamaane mein gaon ki auratein blouse nahi pehanti thin, seedhe badan par saree lapetti thin. Agar blouse pehnaya toh film ka authentic feel khatam ho jayega!"

Huma ne andar reh kar socha, "Ya Khuda! Seedhe badan par saree? Yeh toh bohot ajeeb hai." Par phir uske dimaag mein art filmon ki yaad aayi. "Real acting mein nakhre nahi hote. Agar abhi mana karungi toh yeh log sochenge main unprofessional hoon aur mujhe Varun Dhawan wali film se nikal denge." Career ke liye Huma ne himmat jodi.

Usne apne tight kapde utaar diye aur us patli peeli saree ko seedhe apne nange badan par lapetna shuru kiya, bina blouse aur peticot ke. Saree ka sasta kapda uski paseene se geeli skin par chipak gaya aur uske curves saaf-saaf dikh rahe the. Huma ne kisi tarah pallu sambhala, par woh uski chhati ko mushkil se dhak pa raha tha.

Jaise hi Huma jhopdi se bahar nikli, wahan khade un aadmiyon ki saansein atak gayin. Bina blouse ke, peeli transparent saree mein Huma ka jism dekh kar un sabke dimaag mein hawas ki bijli daud gayi.

Motu director ne ek kamuk nazar ke sath kaha, "Kamaal lag rahi hain Huma ji. Ekdum natural village look! Ab jhopdi mein baith kar chakki chalaane ka abhinay kijiye."

Huma jhopdi ke andar gayi aur zameen par baith kar chakki par gehun peesne ka natak karne lagi.

Tabhi ek dubla-patla aadmi aage aaya—Huma ka "bewda pati" bana tha. Usne sharab ki bottle pakdi aur jhopdi ke darwaze par ladkhadate hue gir gaya.

Director ne handycam point kiya aur chillaya: "Lights... Camera... Action!"

Action sunte hi 3 mard jhopdi ki taraf aaye. Ek aadmi—jisne sasti nakli mooch lagayi thi—woh "Zamindar" bana tha, baaki do uske gunde. Zamindar ne zameen par lete "pati" ko laat maari, use collar se pakda aur chillaya: "Kahan hain mere paise, saale sharabi! Aaj karza chukaye bina nahi bachega!"

Pati ne gidgidaaya, "Zamindar sahab, reham karo! Paise nahi hain..."

Zamindar: "Maro saale ko!"

Dono gundon ne pati ko maarne ka natak shuru kiya.

Huma ke andar ki heroine jaag gayi! Woh jhopdi se tezi se bahar aayi aur beech mein khadi ho gayi. Usne gundo ko dhakela aur chillayi: "Chhod do inhein! Haath hatao inpar se! Hamara karza chuka denge, par mere suhaag par haath mat uthao!"

Huma ke dialogue delivery mein itna junoon tha ki ek pal ke liye wahan khade sab log hairan reh gaye—par unki hairangi Huma ki acting ki wajah se nahi, balki uski transparent saree mein lachakti body ki wajah se thi.

Zamindar bane aadmi ne Huma ke transparent saree wale badan ko ghurte hue ek gandi hansi hansi aur bola: "Paisa nahi hai toh kya hua bhabhi ji... is karze ki vasooli ab teri jawani se hogi!"

Usne ishara kiya, "Pakad lo isko!"

Dono gunde Huma ki baahon ko pakad kar khet ki taraf ghasitne lage. Huma ne poora resistance dikhaya—jhatapataayi, chillaayi, "Chhod do mujhe!" Uske struggle mein saree ka pallu khisak raha tha.

Gunde Huma ko sarson ke khet ke beech le gaye. Dono ne uski baahein tight pakad lin taaki hil na sake.

Tabhi Zamindar bane aadmi ne achanak Huma ke samne aakar apni pant kholi aur use neeche utar kar apna auzaar bahar nikal diya—seedhe Huma ke chehre ke saamne.

Yeh behuda nazara dekhte hi Huma ke dimaag ki saari Bollywood-acting pal bhar mein hawa ho gayi. Uska chehra darr aur gusse se safed pad gaya. Woh darr ke maare cheekh uthi aur bina soche-samjhe apni poori taqat se ek zordar laat seedhe us Zamindar ke nichle hisse mein de maari.

"Ahhh! Baap re!" Zamindar dard se dohara hokar sarson ke paudhon mein ja gira aur apna auzaar pakad kar chillaane laga.

Huma ne apni baahein chhudaayi, khadi hui aur apni saree lapetne lagi. Usne zor se chillayi, "Yeh kya badtameezi hai?! Yeh kaisi gandi acting ho rahi hai?!"

Usne gusse se laal-peeli hokar bola, "Mujhe nahi karni aisi koi gandi film! Main abhi ke abhi yahan se ja rahi hoon!"

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Motu director daudte hue aaya aur Huma ke samne haath jod kar bola, "Arey Huma ji! Shaant ho jaiye. Yeh koi normal film nahi hai. Maine pehle hi bataya tha na... yeh ek 'uncut' movie hai."

Huma ne gusse mein chillakar poocha, "Toh uncut ka matlab hai ki tum log mere samne nange ho jaoge?!"

Director ne seedhe baat bataayi, "Huma ji, 'uncut' ka matlab hota hai—blue film! Adult movie. Isme sab kuch bina cuts ke dikhana hota hai."

Yeh sunte hi Huma ka dimaag sunn ho gaya. Blue film?! Varun Dhawan ke sapne, Filmfare Award ki speech, red carpet—sab ek jhatke mein toot kar bikhar gaye. Uske gusse ne ek naya level chhoo liya.

"Tum logon ki himmat kaise hui mujhe aisi gandi film mein fasane ki!" Huma ne apna phone nikala, "Main abhi police ko call karti hoon!"

Huma khet se jhopdi ki taraf bhaagne lagi.

Motu director ne dekha ki agar yeh bhaag gayi toh police ka panga ho jayega. Usne jaldi se apni pocket se note ki gaddiyan nikali.

"Huma ji, ruko! Ek minute suno! Agar tum yeh 15 minute ka scene complete karti ho, toh main tumhe abhi ke abhi... dus hazar rupaye cash dunga!"

Usne ₹10,000 ke notes Huma ke samne lehrate hue kaha, "Dekho, yeh paise abhi tumhare hain. Tumhara chehra blur kar denge, kisi ko pata nahi chalega!"

Huma ke kadam ruk gaye. Usne mud kar un notes ko dekha. Ek aam college ki ladki ke liye ek sath ₹10,000 dekhna badi baat thi. Cash ki khushboo ne uske dimaag ke ghamand ko hila diya.

Par phir Huma ke andar woh wali Huma jaagi jo kal tak canteen mein chai ke paise mangti thi. Uske dimaag ne calculator start kar diya.

Huma wahan khadi lagbhag do-teen minute tak gahri soch mein doobi rahi. Ek taraf uski izzat, doosri taraf cash. Par phir uske andar ka businessman jaag gaya.

Huma ne achanak apne chehre ka gussa saaf kiya aur ek tez, hoshiyar muskaan laayi. Woh palat kar director ki taraf dekhte hue boli:

"Ruko ruko roko! Pehli baat—das hazaar? Bas das hazaar?" Usne apni ungliyon se notes ki gaddi pakdi, ek note nikala aur usse hawa mein phiraya jaise jaanch kar rahi ho. "Director sahab, main koi sadak chhaap actress nahi hoon. Meri body, mera figure, meri lachak—yeh sab tumne khud dekha hai. Das hazaar mein toh main kisi ko apna nakhun bhi nahi chhoone deti!"

Director thoda ghabra gaya, "Toh... kitna chahiye?"

Huma ne apne dono haath apni kamar par rakhe aur ek business meeting ki tarah seedhi khadi hokar boli: "Meri demand suniye dhyan se, kyunki main dobara nahi bolungi. Number ek—do lakh rupaye cash! Abhi ke abhi, haath mein! Number do—mera chehra camera mein bilkul blur hoga, ek pixel bhi nahi dikhna chahiye! Number teen—" usne apna ganda ho chuka bag dikhaya, "is dhool-mitti mein mera bag barbaad ho chuka hai, toh ek naya branded designer bag chahiye jismein main yeh paise rakh sakun! Number chaar—mujhe clean mineral water chahiye, yeh naali ka paani nahi piyungi. Aur haan, mujhe beech mein rest bhi chahiye, main koi machine nahi hoon!"

Huma ne ungli utha kar aur ek shaurt jodi: "Aur sun lo—agar in mein se ek bhi cheez nahi mili, toh main abhi phone uthaungi aur police ko itni tez awaaz mein chillaaungi ki yahan ke kauwe bhi udd jaayenge!"

Do lakh rupaye aur designer bag ki demand sun kar director aur uske saathi pehle toh ek-doosre ka muh dekhne lage. Phir aapas mein kaan mein kuch phusphusaye. Huma ka jism us transparent peeli saree mein dekh kar woh is mauke ko kisi bhi haal mein khona nahi chahte the.

Motu director ne apne bag mein haath dala aur note ki badi-badi gaddiyan aur ek chamkila Louis Vuitton logo wala designer bag nikala. Usne 500-500 ke notes ki 4 gaddiyan (poora do lakh) bag mein daal kar Huma ke samne kiye:

"Deal manzoor hai, Huma ji! Yeh lijiye do lakh cash aur imported designer bag!"

Huma ne tezi se aage badhkar bag aur notes apne haath mein le liye. Notes ki karari khushboo aur chamkile bag ne uske dimaag ke saare darr ko gayab kar diya. Usne notes gini—har gaddi mein 50 note, 500-500 ke, chaar gaddiyan—sab sahi. Usne paise bag mein surakshit rakhe aur ek harami smile di.

"Aur mineral water?" Huma ne yaad dilaya.

Vicky ne bhaagkar Omni se ek Bisleri ki bottle laakar di. Huma ne use khol kar ek ghont pi, tassalli se sir hilaya aur boli:

"Chalo director sahab, camera start karo. Batao kahan se shuru karna hai. Par yaad rakhna—mera chehra blur, warna deal off!"

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Motu director ne turant apne aadmiyon se kaha, "Sab apni position par jao! Huma ji ready hain!"

Zamindar bane aadmi ne apni nakli mooch thik ki aur zameen par baith kar apne auzaar par lagi dhool saaf ki—Huma ki laat ka dard abhi bhi uske chehre par tha. Gundo ne Huma ki baahon ko phir se pakda.

Director ne handycam ready kiya: "Take 2... Lights... Camera... Action!"

Action bolte hi gundo ne Huma ki baahein tight pakad lin. Huma ke andar ab darr nahi tha, balki bag mein rakhe cash ki garmahat thi. Usne josh se acting shuru ki—jhatapataayi, gusse ke expression banaye.

Zamindar aage badha: "Ab kahan bhagegi! Aaj tujhe koi nahi bacha sakta!"

Usne Huma ke samne phir se apni pant utaari. Huma ne is baar na cheekha, na laath maari. Uske dimaag mein chal rahi shopping list thi—"Pink iPhone, branded makeup aur designer kapde!" Usne gusse ka expression banaye rakha aur acting jaari rakhi.

Director handycam lekar close-up shots le raha tha: "Kamaal Huma ji! Expressions lajawab hain! Thoda aur natural hone dijiye!"

Huma ne acting karte-karte apni saree ke pallu ko thoda khiskaya. Director ki camera se kaam chalta raha.

Gunde Huma ko sarson ke paudhon ke beech ghasitne lage. Huma unhe dhakelne ka natak karti rahi, khet ke peele phool hawa mein udd kar unke jism par girne lage.

Director ne chillaya: "Scene bilkul natural chal raha hai! Zamindar, Huma ko khet ke andar le jao!"

Khet ke ghane paudhon ke beech pahunchte hi Zamindar ne gundo ko kaha, "Utaar do iske kapde!"

Gundo ne Huma ki peeli saree ka pallu pakda aur ek jhatke mein kheencha. Slippery kapda Huma ke geele badan se sarakta chala gaya. Blouse-peticot tha hi nahi, toh saree poori tarah utar gayi aur Huma ek tight black bra aur panty mein reh gayi.

Huma ko thoda darr laga. Usne apne haath chhati par rakhe par gundo ne haath pakad kar peeche kar diye. Phir ek gunde ne chaku nikala—Huma cheekhi: "Arey! Chaku kyun?!"

Director ne peeche se has kar bola, "Ghabraiye mat! Fake prop hai, script ka part hai!"

Huma ne apne bag mein rakhi cash ki gaddiyan yaad kin aur shaant ho gayi. Gunde ne chaku se bra ke straps kate—bra hat gayi. Phir panty ke elastic ko kaat kar alag kiya. Huma sarson ke khet mein un sab ke samne bilkul nangi ho chuki thi.

Director ne nirdesh diya: "Zamindar sahab, shuru karo! Huma ji, gusse ke expression dijiye!"

Zamindar ne Huma ki kamar pakdi aur apna kaam shuru kiya. Huma ne resistance ke expression diye—sir idhar-udhar hilaya, dialogue bola: "Chhod do mujhe, atyachari! Main mar jaungi par izzat ka sauda nahi karungi!" Uski aah aur cheekhen khet mein goonji.

Director camera se lagatar shoot karta raha. Kuch der baad Zamindar ka kaam khatam hua—usne apna maal Huma ke pet aur seene par chhod diya. Phir dono gundo ne bhi apni baari li aur Huma ke chehre aur baalon par apna maal daal diya. Huma ka pura chehra safed paani se lathpath ho gaya—yeh woh beizzati thi jo aage chalkar badla lene ka sabse mazboot kaaran banne wali thi.

Director ne chillaya: "Cut! Blockbuster performance, Huma ji!"

Huma ne haanphte hue jaldi se apne chehre aur badan par lage maal ko kapde se saaf kiya. Uske chehre par thakan aur ghin ka mixture tha, par bag mein bhari noto ki gaddiyon ka khayal aate hi usne khud ko sambhala.

Director saste paper napkins ka dabba lekar aaya: "Waah Huma ji! Kya acting! Woh dialogue—'mere suhaag par haath mat uthao'—ekdum filmi tha!"

Huma ne gusse se napkins chheene aur apna chehra ragad-ragad kar saaf karne lagi. Napkin ke khurdurepan se uski skin laal ho rahi thi. "Acting aur dialogue toh theek hain director sahab, par aapke in luche-lafangon ne mere chehre par jo kiya, iski script mein baat nahi thi! Agli baar agar kisi ne mere chehre ke paas aane ki koshish ki, toh police ka phone seedha!"

Director ne kaan pakade, "Nahi nahi Huma ji! Scene ke flow mein ladke beh gaye the. Chaliye pehle aap handpump par jaakar saaf ho jaiye, phir agla scene karte hain."

Huma ne chidkar jhopdi ke peeche handpump par jaakar thande paani se apne aap ko dhoya. Safai karte hue usne man hi man socha, "In neechon ka badla toh main lekar rahungi. Par abhi agle scene ki taiyari karni hai."

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Director ne agla scene samjhaya: "Huma ji, ab item song hai! Haweli ke garden mein guards ke samne dance karna hai taaki hero andar ghus sake."

Director ne Huma ko ek chamkili laal saree aur uske andar pehanne ke liye ek behad choti tight red short-dress di—taaki dance mein agar saree khiske toh andar ka sexy look dikhe.

Huma ne relief mehsoos kiya ki is baar seedha nanga nahi hona padega. Usne jaldi se short-dress pehni aur upar laal saree lapet li. Garden wale set par pahunchkar—jahan peele aur laal phoolon ke beech chota sa stage tha—usne pose diya aur boli:

"Director sahab, is baar meri ek shaurt hai—mujhe ek accha sa gaana lagana padega. Agar koi bekaar gaana lagaya toh mera mood kharab ho jayega aur acting mein dum nahi aayega!"

Director ne haste hue kaha, "Bilkul Huma ji! Aapki pasand ka item song lagayenge."

"Chikni Chameli bajao!" Huma ne order diya.

Speaker se Chikni Chameli ka gaana bajte hi Huma ke badan mein ek alag hi junoon aa gaya. Usne beat par apni kamar lachkana shuru kiya. Garden mein 11 ladke—haweli ke guards bane—uske charo taraf ghera bana kar khade the.

Huma ne un guards ke beech ghoomte hue apne haath hawa mein uthaye aur thumke lagaye. Woh har ladke ke paas jaakar apni kamar matkati aur seeductive expressions deti. Huma ko dance mein maza aane laga tha—sapna toh Bollywood ka hi tha, toh ab jab khet mein hi sahi, par dance toh apna hi tha!

Director ne camera se follow karte hue kaha: "Bahut badhiya! Ab saree ka pallu jhatkiye aur saree utaar dijiye!"

Huma ne ek sexy spin liya aur laal saree ka pallu ek jhatke mein sarka diya. Saree sarakte hi tight red short-dress poori tarah expose ho gayi. Guards ne taaliyan aur seetiyan bajayi. Huma ne saree ko prop ki tarah istemal kiya—do ladkon ke gale mein daali aur unhe apni taraf kheencha.

Director: "Ab short-dress bhi nikalo!"

Huma ne dono haathon se short-dress ko sir ke upar se nikala—ab woh sirf ek choti red lace bra aur panty mein thi. Paseene se chamakti skin par peele-laal phool gir rahe the. Guards ne use charo taraf se gher liya.

Director: "Aakhri stage! Bra aur panty bhi utaaro! Poori tarah nangi dance chahiye!"

Huma ne bina rukkhe bra ka hook khola—uske breasts bahar aaye aur hawa mein bounce hue. Phir panty bhi utaar di. Ab woh garden ke beech bilkul nangi thi, phoolon ke beech dance karti hui. Un 11 ladkon ne use har taraf se chhuna shuru kiya.

Director ne naya idea phenka: "Huma ji, is scene ka concept samajhiye—Zamindar in sab guards par aapko bari-bari se 'sit-stand' karwayega! Zamindar commands dega aur aapko usi rhythm mein switch karna hoga!"

Zamindar kursi par baith gaya aur sab guards ek line mein khade ho gaye, apne kapde kholkar.

Zamindar ne rob se chillaya: "Suno bhabhi ji! Chal aage badh!"

Huma kaanpi, par designer bag mein rakhe noto ki garmahat ne uski bolti band rakhi. Woh line ke paas pahunchi.

"Stand!" — Huma khadi hui.
"Switch!" — Agle ke samne gayi.
"Sit!" — Huma ne baith kar apna kaam shuru kiya. Uske muh se ek aah nikli.
"Stand!" — Khadi hui, haanphti hui.
"Switch! Sit! Stand! Switch!"

Huma lagatar ek se doosre par switch karti rahi. Har uthak-baithak ke sath uska badan kaanp raha tha. Sabhi 11 guards ke saath bari-bari se scene hua.

Kuch der baad Huma itni thak gayi ki uski taangein kaanpne lagin. Usne haanphte hue kaha, "Director sahab... bahut thak gayi hoon, pairon mein jaan nahi bachi. Kya main let sakti hoon? Please!"

Director ne OK ka ishara kiya: "Let jaiye, par pair hawa mein upar rakhna!"

Huma ne relief mein zameen par peeth ke bal let kar apne dono pair hawa mein utha diye.

Director: "Guards, ab bari-bari se apna turn lo!"

Ek-ek karke sabhi 11 guards ne zameen par leti Huma par apna turn liya. Huma ne beech-beech mein poses badalti rahi—kabhi doggy style, kabhi pair kandhon par rakh kar—taaki camera par variety bani rahe. Poore 2 ghante ka lamba session chala. Ant mein sabhi guards ke maal se Huma ki muniya aur thighs bhari pad gayi thin.

Huma garden ki zameen par nidhal hokar leti rahi. Director ne chillaya: "Cut! Brilliant performance!"

Shoot khatam hone ke baad Huma itni thaki thi ki bina saaf-safai kiye wahi phoolon ke beech so gayi.

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Huma ki neend director ki bhaari aawaz se tooti. "Huma ji, uthiye! Aakhri scene baaki hai!"

Huma ne thaki aankhein kholi, "Aakhri scene? Usmein kya hai?"

Director: "Final climax! Aapka character sasur ko seduce karke haweli se bhaagega. Sasur madad karega aur dono milkar haweli mein aag laga denge! Badla poora!"

Huma ne sir hilaya, "Theek hai... par sasur kaun banega? Koi senior actor toh aaya nahi."

Director ne ek kamuk muskaan ke sath apna chashma thik kiya aur bola: "Huma ji, meri umar dekhiye—main khud sasur banne ke liye perfect hoon! Toh yeh scene main khud karunga."

Huma ke dimaag ke tote udd gaye. Woh zameen par nangi leti, bina blink kiye director ke chehre ko ghurti reh gayi. Par phir usne khud se kaha, "Bas yeh aakhri scene hai. Iske baad chutti."

Director ne handycam ko tripod par lagaya, timer set kiya, apne kapde utaare aur chillaya: "Climax Scene... Take 1... Action!"

Huma ne thake-haare badan ko sambhala aur krantikari bahu ki acting shuru ki. Script ke mutabik usne sasur ko seduce karne ka natak kiya taaki haweli se bhaag sake. Director ne use baahon mein bhara aur dono zameen par aa gaye. Huma ne dialogue bola: "Pitaji... mujhe is haweli se chhudaiye... main aapke sath chalne ko taiyar hoon!"

Director ne apna poora hissa puri josh se nibhaya. Beech mein Huma ne position badli—doggy style mein aayi. Climax ke paas pahunch kar director ne apna maal Huma ki peeth aur chutar par chhod diya.

Iske baad Huma ne dramatic dialogue delivery ki: "Main aapke sath chalungi pitaji, par pehle is atyachari Zamindar ka guroor jalana hoga!" Dono ne set par rakhe fake petrol ke dibbon se haweli ki deewaron par daalne ka natak kiya. Huma ne jalti hui fake mashaal uthai aur parde par phenki. Special effects—fake smoke aur red lights—shuru hue. Huma aur director haath pakad kar bhaagne ka drama karte hue set se baahar daudte rahe.

Director ne camera ke paas bhaag kar chillaya: "Cut! Cut! Mind-blowing climax, Huma ji!"

Pure set par taaliyan bajen.

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Huma dheere-dheere uthi aur jhopdi ke peeche handpump par gayi. Thande paani se usne apni peeth, thighs aur chehra achhe se dhoya. Phir jhopdi mein jaakar apne kapde—black jeans aur red crop top—dobara pehan liye. Kapde pehan kar jab usne designer bag khola aur usme bhari noto ki gaddiyan dekhin, toh saari thakan pal mein gayab ho gayi.

Bahar pure set par mard aur Vicky behad khush the. Vicky ne handycam ka footage check karte hue Gupta ji aur Verma ji se ishara kiya. Sabke chehron par kamyabi ki muskaan thi—unhe itna raw footage mil chuka tha.

Jab Huma bag tang kar jhopdi se baari nikli, Vicky paani ki bottle lekar aaya: "Waah Huma ji! Acting aur dialogue delivery lajawab thi! Director footage dekh kar Varun Dhawan wale project ke liye aapko zaroor shortlist karega!"

Huma ne paani liya aur garv se boli, "Shukriya sir! Mujhe bhi khushi hai. Par ab bahut thakan ho gayi hai, ghar jaana chahiye." Uska badan dard kar raha tha aur muniya mein halki jalan thi.

Tabhi motu director aage aaya: "Arey Huma ji! Aise kaise jaayengi? Film industry ka purana rule hai—blockbuster shoot ke baad after-shoot party hoti hai! Paas mein farmhouse book hai, beer, dinner aur music ka intezam hai. Aapko aana hi hoga!"

Huma ne mana kiya, "Nahi sir, aaj bahut ho gaya. Main sach mein bahut tired hoon."

Par Vicky ne lalach diya: "Huma ji, party mein do aur bade financiers aa rahe hain. Agar aap wahan chalti hain toh agle project ki signing amount—teen lakh rupaye—wahi final ho jayegi! Varun Dhawan ke sath badi film aur teen lakh ka contract!"

Teen lakh sunkar Huma ke dimaag ke saare asool phir dheele pad gaye. Usne socha, "Do ghante aur tolerate karungi toh teen lakh aur milenge. Aaram toh kal bhi ho sakta hai." Usne muskura kar kaha, "Theek hai sir, agar contract final hona hai toh main zaroor chalungi!"

Huma ne designer bag pakda aur un sab ke sath Omni mein baith gayi. Gaadi farmhouse ki taraf badhi toh Huma apne naye bag ko sehla rahi thi—soch rahi thi ki jab Farzu yeh bag dekhegi toh uski aankhein jalan se baahar nikal aayengi.

Farmhouse par party tezi se chali. Tez music, chamakti lights. Huma ne beer pi, thoda dance kiya. Financiers ne agle project ki baatein kin aur contract ki copy di. Vicky ne aashwasan diya ki signing amount jaldi mil jayegi.

Raat ke teen baje party khatam hui. Crew ne Huma ko cab mein bithaaya. Huma ka poora jism dard kar raha tha. Usne apna designer bag tight pakd rakha tha.

Ghar pahunchkar Huma ne dabe paon kamre mein kadam rakha taaki ghar wale na uthein. Itni exhausted thi ki kapde badalne ki taqat nahi thi. Usne bag table par rakha, cooler on kiya aur bistar par lette hi gehri neend aa gayi. Notes ginne ya bag check karne ka socha bhi nahi.

Us raat sapne mein woh shopping mall mein khadi thi—haath mein wahi designer bag, mehnge kapde khareed rahi thi, Varun Dhawan red carpet par le ja raha tha, fans autograph maang rahe the. Huma neend mein muskura rahi thi.

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Agle din subah dhoop kamre mein aayi toh Huma ki neend khuli. Woh fresh aur happy thi. Sabse pehla khayal aaya—table par rakha designer bag aur usmein bhari cash ki gaddiyan!

Woh bistar se kood kar uthi, table ke paas gayi aur bade shauk se bag ke chamkile strap ko pakda.

Jaise hi strap ko kheencha—CHURRRR! Handle uske haath mein hi toot kar alag ho gaya! Jod par se sasti glue aur local thread baahr nikal rahe the. Huma ne hairani se bag ke kone ko ghura jahan logo bana tha. Dhyan se dekha toh spelling thi—"LOUISS VITTAN".

"LOUISS VITTAN?!" Huma ne bag ko apni aankhon ke aur paas laya. "Yeh toh... L-O-U-I-S-S V-I-T-T-A-N likha hai! Louis Vuitton nahi, LOUISS VITTAN! Yeh toh Chor Bazaar ka maal hai!"

Usne phir bag ko palat kar dekha. Stitching se dhage nikal rahe the. Metal ka buckle pehle se hi peela pad chuka tha. Lining mein se ek kagaz ka tukda gira jispar kisi ne Hindi mein likha tha: "Best quality, contact Munna Bhai, Sadar Bazaar". Huma ka muh khula ka khula reh gaya.

"In kanjoos tharkiyon ne mujhe ₹200 ka Sadar Bazaar ka thaila pakda diya aur bol rahe the imported designer bag hai! Inka baap bhi asli LV afford nahi kar sakta!" Huma ne gusse mein bag ko table par phenk diya.

Par phir usne socha, "Chalo, kam se kam notes toh sachhe honge na?" Usne bag ki zip kholne ki koshish ki—sasti zip wahi phas gayi. Poori taqat laga kar kheenchi toh zip ka lock toot gaya aur bag ka side se fat gaya. Huma ne haath daal kar 500-500 ke notes ki saari gaddiyan baahr nikali.

Usne ek-ek gaddi ka rubber band hataya aur tezi se check kiya. Har note palat kar dekha, roshni mein rakh kar dekha, ek note ko kaan ke paas laakar ragda—jaise TV par CBI wale karte hain. Saare notes sachhe aur karare the! Poore ₹2,00,000, ek bhi nakli nahi!

Huma ne khushi ke maare notes ko chhati se chipkaya aur unhe kiss karne lagi. "Hai Allah, shukar hai! Kam se kam noto ke mamle mein in logon ne dhokha nahi kiya. Meri mehnat ki poori keemat mili!"

Par phir us toote bag ki taraf dekha aur chid mein boli, "Par yeh bag! Director sahab bol rahe the imported LV hai—handle pehle din toot gaya, spelling galat hai, aur andar se Munna Bhai ka visiting card nikal raha hai! Kitne kanjoos log hain, ek achha sa bag bhi nahi de sake!"

Usne apna phone uthaya aur Instagram khola. Woh @bollystar ke DM mein jaakar bag ki photo bhejna chahti thi aur farmhouse par promise kiye ₹3,00,000 wale contract ke baare mein puchna chahti thi.

Huma ne jaise hi @bollystar ke chat par click kiya—uski dhadkan ruk gayi. Profile picture gayab. Username ki jagah likha tha—"Instagram User".

Huma ne ghabrahat mein tezi se type kiya: "Vicky sir! Mera bag toh nakli nikla, handle toot gaya! Aur agle contract ke papers kab ready honge?" Send kiya—par message send hone ke bajaye screen par red exclamation mark aaya: "Message failed to send. You cannot reply to this conversation."

Huma ke pair thande pad gaye. Usne search bar mein @bollystar type kiya—zero results. Account delete ho chuka tha. Vicky ke naam se bhi dhundha—kuch nahi mila.

Ab poori sachai samajh aayi. Woh sab adult film banane wale dhokhebaaz the. Cash isliye diya taaki Huma chup rahe aur police case na kare. Bollywood movie, Varun Dhawan, teen lakh ka contract—sab jhooth tha. Footage lekar woh gayab ho chuke the.

Huma ne phone bed par phenka aur gusse mein kamre mein chakkar kaatne lagi. "Tum logon ne mujhe paise toh diye, par block karke apna rasta saaf kar liya? Main Huma hoon! Tumhe dhoondh nikalungi!" Par phir usne khud se poocha, "Kaise dhoondhegi? Na naam pata hai, na address. Bus LOUISS VITTAN bacha hai nishan ke taur par." Usne thandi saans li aur is baat ko hazam karne ki koshish ki.

Tabhi uske dimaag mein ek zaroori baat chamki. Usne khud se kaha, "Oh shit! Main toh bhool hi gayi thi. Kal un sab ne... yaani 11... nahi 12 ke sath poore do ghante...Ya Khuda!" Usne apni ungliyon par count karne ki koshish ki—"Zamindar ek, gunde do, guards gyaarah, director ek... yeh toh 15 ho gaye! Nahi nahi, kuch ek hi the jo dobara aaye... chodo, count se kya hoga. Point yeh hai ki mujhe abhi ke abhi chemist ki dukaan par jaana hoga!"

Huma ne jaldi se apne paise us tootey LOUISS VITTAN bag se nikal kar apne purane college wale bag mein daale—"Is Munna Bhai ke thaile mein paisa rakh kar bahar nahi jaa sakti, kahi tala hi nikal jaaye toh notes sadak par bikhre padenge!" Woh apna bag lekar ghar se nikli aur seedha niche sadak par ek chemist ki dukaan mein ghusi.

Dukaan mein ek purane se uncle counter ke peeche baithe the, unke upar Shiv ji ki tasveer thi aur radio par purana Bollywood gaana baj raha tha.

Huma counter ke paas gayi aur dheere se boli, "Bhaiya... woh... ek tablet chahiye."

Chemist uncle ne chashme ke upar se dekha, "Kaunsi tablet? Sardi ki? Bukhar ki? Sir dard ki?"

"Nahi woh... woh wali..." Huma ka chehra laal ho gaya. Usne aaspas dekha ki koi sun toh nahi raha. Phir jhuk kar phusphusaayi, "Woh... i-pill chahiye."

Uncle ne bilkul bina expression badle poocha, "Ek ya do?"

"EK! Ek hi kaafi hai!" Huma ne jaldi se kaha. Phir usne sochi aur apni ungliyon par count kiya—"Haan, ek hi kaafi hogi... hogi na? Hai Allah, ek se kaam chal jayega na? Kitne bhi logon ke liye ek hi leni hoti hai na?"

Uncle ne chashma thik kiya aur bina kuch bole tablet nikaal kar packet mein di. Huma ne jaldi se paise diye, tablet li aur baahar aate hi paani ki bottle se ek ghont mein nigal gayi.

"Bas! Ab ek tension toh khatam!" Usne rahat ki saans li aur wapas ghar aa gayi.

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Kuch din beet gaye. Huma dheere-dheere us incident ko bhulane ki koshish kar rahi thi. Usne apni kamaai mein se college ki fees bhar di aur apni pasand ka kuch makeup khareed liya. Ek dopahar, jab woh bed par letkar reels scroll kar rahi thi, toh feed par ek sponsored video ad pop up hua.

Woh ad ek dhamakedar trailer tha. Bade-bade aksharon mein likha tha: "NEW ADULT WEBSERIES - REVENGE OF THE VILLAGE BHABHI - EXPLICIT & UNCUT". Huma ka khoon jum gaya jab usne thumbnail mein khud ko peeli saree mein khet ke beech zameen par lete dekha.

Huma ka badan darr se kaanpne laga. Usne tezi se link par click kiya—ek premium adult streaming portal khula. Par poori series dekhne ke liye ₹499 ki subscription fee thi.

Ab yahan Huma ka dimaag dekhiye. Koi bhi normal insaan yahan rukkta aur sochta. Par Huma ne bina ek second soche UPI se ₹499 pay kar diye. Baad mein usne khud ko justify kiya—"Mujhe toh dekhna hai ki unhone mera chehra sach mein blur kiya ya nahi!"

Video play hua. Huma ne phone ko dono haathon se tight pakda.

Pehla episode shuru hote hi uski saans atak gayi. Director ne jo blur karne ka waada kiya tha—woh poora jhooth tha! 4K resolution mein Huma ka chehra crystal clear dikh raha tha. Har expression, har detail bilkul saaf.

Huma ne teeno episodes dekhe. Usne khud ko ek kamuk gaon ki aurat ke roop mein 11 goons aur Zamindar ke sath screen par dekha.

Lekin yahan Huma ki ajeeb fitrat samjho. Ghabraane ke bajaye, dheere-dheere uske andar ki Bollywood vanity jaag gayi. Woh apne hi video ko film critic ki tarah analyze karne lagi!

"Hai Allah! Meri skin screen par kitni achi lag rahi hai! Aur mere expressions... Radhika Apte se toh sau guna better hain!"

Doosre episode mein jab guards waala khet ka scene aaya—jismein usne positions switch ki thin—us scene mein uski dialogue delivery aur expressions dekh kar woh khud se behad impress ho gayi. "Wah Huma! Kya range hai teri. Comedy bhi kar sakti hai, drama bhi, action bhi... aur yeh bhi!"

Climax episode ke end mein jab jalti haweli se bhaagne ka badla poora hua, toh Huma ke chehre par ek proud muskaan aayi.

Par jaise hi video khatam hui aur screen black hua, reality ka thappad pada. Uska chehra peela pad gaya—"Agar yeh video viral hua toh? Agar college ke ladkon ne dekh liya? Agar... ammi ne dekh liya?! Ya Khuda, meri maut pakki hai!" Usne tezi se app band kiya aur phone phenk diya. Dil dhak-dhak kar raha tha. Par uske dimaag ke ek kone mein abhi bhi apni acting ki taarif chal rahi thi.

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Huma ne kuch der tak gehri saansein lin. Phir ek jhatke mein saara darr dimaag se nikaal phenka.

"Jo hoga dekha jaayega! Mere paas kamaai ke paise hain. Itne dinon se main bikhari jaise jee rahi thi, ab time aa gaya hai apni life upgrade karne ka!"

Usne muskurate hue phone uthaya aur apni sabse achhi saheli Farzu ka number lagaya.

Farzu ne phone uthaya toh Huma ne bade attitude se kaha, "Oye Farzu! Chal jaldi taiyaar ho ja. Abhi market jaana hai. Mujhe ek brand new pink iPhone khareedna hai!"

Farzu ne cheekhte hue kaha, "Arey Huma! Tera dimaag theek hai? Kal tak tere paas canteen mein chai ke paise nahi hote the, tu humesha broke rehti thi. Aaj achanak pink iPhone ke paise kahan se aa gaye?!"

"Maine ek bada online assignment complete kiya hai jiske achhe-khaase paise mile hain. Faltu sawaal mat puch, chal jaldi!" Huma ne baat ghuma di.

Farzu chup nahi hone wali thi. "Online assignment? Kaun sa? Tujhe toh computer chalana bhi dhang se nahi aata! Kal mujhse pooch rahi thi ki Excel mein photo kaise lagayi jaati hai! Kaunsa assignment tha, sach bata?"

"Arey yaar! Data entry type kaam tha, ek company ne diya tha. Ab itni pooch-taach mat kar, CBI ki naukri lagi hai kya teri?" Huma ne jhunjhlakar kaha.

"Data entry se itne paise? Huma, meri jaan, data entry se itna milta toh main aur tu dono MBA chhod kar typist ban jaate! Kuch toh gadbad hai..." Farzu ne shak se kaha.

Huma ne aakhri haddi phenki, "Dekh Farzu, tujhe mere sath aana hai ya nahi? Agar nahi aayegi toh main akele jaungi aur teri wali bhi nahi laaungi!"

Farzu ka resistance turant pighal gaya. "Arey arey! Main aa rahi hoon! 10 minute mein taiyaar! Par baad mein poori kahani sunani padegi, samjhi?"

"Haan haan, baad mein. Ab jaldi kar!" Huma ne phone rakka.

Huma ne jaldi se wardrobe khola. Ek tight blue jeans aur white cropped top pehna, khule baalon ko jhatka aur lipstick lagai. Bilkul fresh look ke sath taiyaar ho gayi.

"Chal Huma, ab seedha phone ki dukaan!" Usne bag uthaya aur bade confidence se Farzu ke ghar ki taraf chal padi—pink iPhone ka sapna aankhon mein sajaye, LOUISS VITTAN ka gham bhoolkar, aur tootey Bollywood ke sapne ko apni kamaai ke noto se jodkar.