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Huma aur Chain Snatcher #2
Huma apne pura pair failaye nange bistar pe leti thi, jaise koi sehzadi ho jo abhi apna sehzade ka intezaar kar rahi ho. Raju samne khada tha, apni shirt utarte hue, lekin harami smile ke saath.
“Huma jee,” Raju ne apni shirt gande style me phekte hue bola, “Ek baat puchhun? Gusse mat hona.”
Huma ne irritate hote hue aankhein ghumayi. “Raju, phir se koi bakwas karne wale ho? Jaldi bolo, aur yaad rakhna, mere dimag ke upar ab tumhari nautanki nahi chadti.”
Raju, jo ek number ka harami tha, seedha bistar ke paas aake bola, “Dekho Huma, tumhari wajah se mujhe sudharne ka ek aur moka mila hai. Agar tum mujhe chod dogi, toh main wapas woh chain-chhod Raju ban jaunga jo sabko darrata tha.”
Huma ne ek thandi nazar us par daali, jaise bol rahi ho, "Kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti." “Raju, tumhara sudharna toh ek ajeeb joke lagta hai. Kal hi news mein chain-snatching ki report aayi thi. Batao, woh tum toh nahi the na?”
Raju ne ekdam innocent face banaya, jaise ek chhota baccha chocolate chhupane ki koshish kar raha ho. “Arey Huma jee, kasam se bol raha hoon, woh main nahi tha. Aapki wajah se ab main ek nayi zindagi jee raha hoon. Ab toh sirf aapki chudai ke sapne dekhta hoon.”
Huma ne uski baat sunte hi pillow uthaya aur uske muh par de maara. “Bhaad me ja Raju! Teri baatein sunke lagta hai main tujhe hi jail bhej doon!”
Raju ekdam se pillow ko pakad ke bola, “Arrey Huma jee, aap toh serious ho gayi. Kasam se bol raha hoon, ab chori nahi karta. Aap chahein toh meri jeb check kar lo. Chain ke jagah sirf condom milega!”
Huma ne pillow hata ke uski taraf dekha, jaise uska dimaag ghuma diya ho. “Teri bakwas sunke lagta hai, tere khilaf ek FIR karwa doon.”
Raju ne bistar ke paas jhukh kar uske pair pakad liye, ekdam nautanki mode on. “Arrey Huma jee, meri maa, meri devi! Agar aap mujhse naraz ho gayi, toh mera kya hoga? Aapki wajah se hi toh maine chain-snatching chhodi hai!”
Huma ka dil, jo kabhi kabhi logic ke jagah emotion ke saath chalta tha, pigal gaya. “Thik hai, maan leti hoon. Par Raju, agar mujhe pata chala ki tum jhooth bol rahe ho na, toh tujhe kaat ke tujhe bhi jail bhej dungi!”
Raju ka harami smile wapas aaya. Woh bistar par chadhte hue bola, “Arrey Huma jee, ab toh jail bhi tabhi jaunga jab aapka mann ho. Filhaal toh bas ek aur round chahiye.”, Raju ka lund jhul raha tha, jise dekh Huma ke hum se aanh nikalti hai,
Huma ne uski taraf dekha, jaise uska dimaag ka fuse ud gaya ho. “Raju, tujhe kabhi aur kuch soojhta hai? Chal jaldi khatam kar, mujhe ghar jaana hai.”
Raju ne ek mischievous tone me bola, “Ghar jaana toh thik hai, lekin pehle jhadiyon waali yaadein thoda fresh kar lein? Aapki kasam, adventure ke bina maza nahi aata.”
Huma ne uski collar kheenchte hue kaha, “Raju, teri harkate dekh ke lagta hai ek din tujhe log maar ke hospital bhejenge.”
Raju ne cheeky smile ke saath bola, “Huma jee, logon ka kya hai, unko maarne dijiye. Filhaal toh bas aap ke saath time pass kar raha hoon. Ab chhodo lecture, aur bas apna mood banaiye.”
Raju ne apne lund pe thuka, aur Huma ke pair faila ke aage badha hi tha ki Huma apna hath niche laga rok deti hai, "Condom kahan hai Raju!?"
Huma ne uski taraf ghusse se dekha, jaise keh rahi ho, "Teri nautanki ab nahi chalegi." "Raju, pehle condom leke aa, warna yeh sab yahin khatam."
Raju ne apne usual innocent expressions ke saath bola, "Huma jee, condom ka kya karna? Pyar ke beech barrier nahi hona chahiye. Aur waise bhi, aap hi toh kehti hain ki main sudhar raha hoon. Aapke pyar ka asar condom ke bagair zyada achha lagega."
Huma ne apna sir pakad liya, jaise khud se pooch rahi ho, "Kyun main is harami ke saath ab tak hoon?" Lekin fir Raju ke dramatics ne uska dimaag fir se gum kar diya.
"Dekhiye, Huma jee," Raju ne apna tone thoda emotional banate hue kaha, "Aap par mujhe bharosa hai. Agar condom nahi hai, toh kya hua? Aap hi toh keh rahi thi ki meri sudharne ki journey ka part hain."
Huma ne thoda aur ghusse se bola, "Raju, ye sudharne ki journey condom ke bina nahi chalegi! Kal jab koi problem hogi, tab mujhe blame mat karna."
Raju ne apne harami charm ka last card khela, "Huma jee, agar aap chahengi, toh main kal pura box condoms ka le aaunga. Par aaj ke liye, sirf aapke pyar ke bharose chalne dijiye."
Huma ne ek lambi sigh le kar apna hath hata diya. "Thik hai, Raju, lekin kal condom ke bina mat aana. Aur agar mujhe laga ki tum mujhe phir se ullu bana rahe ho, toh yeh sab hamesha ke liye khatam."
Raju ne ek jiti hui kamini smile ke saath kaha, "Huma jee, aapka pyaar meri zindagi ka GPS hai. Ab tension mat lijiye, sab smooth hoga."
Aur usi smoothness ke saath, Raju ka harami-pan aur Huma ka pyar ek baar phir dominate kar gaya.
Aur is tarah, Raju ki nautanki aur harami baatein ek baar phir kaam kar gayi. Huma ko lagta raha ki woh uski wajah se sudhar raha hai, lekin asli mein Raju ka harami mode chalu tha—din mein chain-snatching aur raat mein Huma ke sath chhed-chhad aur nautanki.
x-x-x-x
Huma aur Raju ka rishta ek ajeeb si kahani tha, jo jhooth, chhed-chhad, aur gandi baaton ka cocktail lagta tha. Har din ek nayi story, ek nayi jagah, aur Raju ke naye bahane. Huma ke dil ka ek hissa ab bhi is galatfehmi me tha ki uska pyar Raju jaise kameene insaan ko sudhar raha hai. Lekin, doosri taraf, Huma ka dimaag baar-baar news dekhte hue sawaal uthata. Chain-snatching ke cases din-ba-din kam hone ke bajaye aur zyada badh rahe the. Jab bhi Raju ke upar shak hota, uski baatein itni chikni hoti ki Huma ka doubt kuch samay ke liye hawa ho jata.
x-x-x-x
Ek shaam, Raju Huma ko pick karne aaya aur bola, "Huma jee, ek romantic movie lagi hai. Chalenge?" Huma, jo ab tak apne doston ke samne Raju ke sudharne ka lecture de chuki thi, sharmate hue maan gayi. Cinema hall ke andhar pehle toh sab normal lag raha tha. Lights dim hote hi Raju apni purani harkatein shuru kar chuka tha. Pehle popcorn ka bahana, phir “aap thoda adjust ho jaaiye” kehkar aur paas aana, aur dheere-dheere uska haath Huma ke kandhe par tha.
Huma ne narazgi dikhai, “Raju, sab dekh rahe hain!”
Raju ne apni harami smile ke saath bola, “Arrey, Huma jee, yeh sab romance ka part hai. Sab apni movie me busy hain. Relax!”
Ek haath se popcorn ka tukda utha ke kabhi khud khata, kabhi Huma ko khilata, aur doosra haath dheere-dheere uski lap ki taraf phisal chuka tha. Huma pehle toh protest karne wali thi, par Raju ki aankhon me woh confidence dekhke chhup reh gayi aur Raju ka hath dheere dheere Huma ki panties me chala gaya.
“Raju, kya kar rahe ho? Yahan nahi!” Huma ne dheere se frown karte hue kaha.
Raju ne innocent tone me bola, “Huma jee, pyar ke liye diwar nahi honi chahiye. Aap tension mat lo, bas maza lijiye.”
Interval tak Raju ka haath aur aage ja chuka tha, aur uski fingers Huma ke bare skin ko tease kar rahi thi. Huma ka dil zor se dhadak raha tha, lekin woh kuch bol nahi pai. Raju, ek dum casual expression ke saath, popcorn kha raha tha, jaise kuch hua hi na ho.
Jab interval hua, Huma restroom ke liye gayi, toh Raju bhi peeche aa gaya. Lekin ladies room ki jagah, usne Huma ka haath pakad ke men’s room ka darwaza khol diya.
“Huma jee, yahaan koi nahi aayega. Safe jagah hai,” usne confident tone me kaha, jaise koi mastermind ho.
Huma ne ghabraye hue andar aate hi frown kiya, “Raju, ye galat hai. Agar koi pakad lega toh?”
Raju ne mischievous smile ke saath kaha, “Pakadne wala hi nahi hai. Waise bhi, aap mere saath ho. Aur sudharne ke liye mujhe full support chahiye.”
Huma ka gussa thoda soft ho gaya, aur usne poocha, “Raju, condom hai na?”
Raju ne apne pockets tap kiye, jaise kuch dhoond raha ho, aur phir nakli sharmahat ke saath bola, “Huma jee, woh leke aaya hota, par socha ki pyar aur trust ke beech koi barrier nahi hona chahiye.”
Huma ne ek second ke liye ghoor kar dekha, par Raju ki baaton me aake fir haar maan li. “Theek hai, par agli baar bina condom ke baat mat karna!”
Raju ne apne usual confident pose lete hue kaha, “Huma jee, aapka support rahe toh sudharna toh aur bhi asaan ho jata hai.”
Men’s room me ek awkward silence ke baad, Raju aur Huma ki chudai ki awaz gunjane lagi, aur Huma ko ye lag raha ki woh sach me is harami ko sudhar rahi hai.
x-x-x-x
Doosre din, Raju ne Huma ko ek park bulaya. “Huma jee, aapko ek special jagah dikhana hai,” usne bola, apni usual chalu muskaan ke saath. Park ke andar jaate hi usne ek corner wali bench pe baithne ko kaha, jo ped ke neeche aise chhupi thi ki agar koi dekhta bhi, to samajh nahi paata ki kya chal raha hai.
“Yahan ka environment kitna sukoon wala hai, Huma jee,” Raju ne kaha, apne lafzon ko extra heavy banate hue, “Jaise dil ka bojh halka ho gaya. Bas ab lagta hai ek hi cheez chahiye zindagi me—ek saccha pyaar.”
Huma ne thoda soch kar bola, “Raju, tum waise ache aadmi lagte ho, par tumhari baatein hamesha ajeeb kyun hoti hain?”
Raju ne turant drama chalu kar diya. “Huma jee, kya aapko meri niyat par shaq hai? Main woh aadmi hoon jo apne doston ke beech kasam kha chuka hai ki ek din aapke liye mazar pe chadar chadhake aaunga!”
Huma, jo kabhi apne doubt se jeet nahi paayi, fir ek blush ke saath hans di. “Tum sudhar rahe ho, Raju. Maza aata hai tumhari baatein sunn ke.”
Raju ne seedha uska haath pakda aur bola, “Dekhiye, baatein to ho gayi. Par ab ek cheez ka jawaab do, jo sacche pyaar ki asli pariksha hai.”
Huma ne jhijhak kar poocha, “Kya?”
Raju ekdam close aaya aur dheere se bola, “Ek bade pyaar wale kaam ka waqt aa gaya hai. Huma jee, agar aapko lagta hai ki main sudhar raha hoon, to mujhe apna pyaar feel karne do. Matlab… aap samajh rahi hain na?”
Huma sharm se ekdum lal. “Raju! Tumhari yeh baatein… matlab kya…?”
Raju ne kaan ke peeche haath le jaakar bola, “Dekho, simple hai. Ek baar… woh… ek ‘BlowJob’ de do. Maan lijiye ki yeh sacche pyaar ki nishani hai. Kya aapko meri dil se sudharne ki koshish pe bharosa hai?”
Huma ne aankhein gol ki. “Raju, yeh kya bakwas karte ho?”
“Arey, bakwas nahi, Huma jee!” Raju ne filmy style me bola, “Yeh toh pyaar ka litmus test hai. Kya tumne pehle kisi ke liye itna kiya hai?"
Raju apne full chalu mode me aa gaya. “Dekho, pyaar ek bonding hai, ek connection hai. Usko aur mazboot karne ke liye ek nishani chahiye hoti hai. Aur woh hai… ek BJ.”
Huma ka muh khula ka khula reh gaya. “Kya! Tum paagal ho gaye ho kya? Yeh kis type ka pyaar hai?”
“Arey, Huma jee, yeh toh true love ka ek proof hai!” Raju ne filmy andaaz me bola. “Dekho, duniya me do tarah ke insaan hote hain—ek jo bas sweet talk karte hain aur kuch nahi karte, aur doosre jo apne pyaar ke liye extreme level tak jaate hain. Main woh extreme waale category ka banda hoon.”
“Tumhare extreme pyaar ka matlab sirf ek ghatiya idea hai!” Huma ne kaha, lekin andar se thodi sharmayi.
“Ghatiya idea?” Raju ne ek fake shock wala expression diya. “Arre, yeh toh sabse asli bonding hoti hai! Dekho na, agar tum mujhe pyaar karti ho, toh kya tum mere sudharne ke mission me help nahi karogi? Agar tum mujhe apna 100% nahi dogi, toh main kaise acha aadmi banoonga?”
“Raju, tum toh blackmail kar rahe ho!” Huma ne kaha.
“Arre, blackmail nahi, Huma jee! Yeh toh pyaar ka asli test hai. Dekho, tumhare bina main toh kal se waapas wohi purana Raju ban jaunga. Ek chance de do!”
Huma ne ek lamha liya, fir bola, “Tumhari baaton ka koi limit hai kya?”
“Limit hoti to kya main Raju hota?” usne aankh maarte hue bola. “Dekho, bas ek baar, aur meri puri zindagi badal jayegi. Main tumhara hero banne ko tayar hoon, bas tum mujhe prove karne do ki tum sacchi ho.”
Huma ne sochne ka natak kiya, lekin woh Raju ki baaton me phir se fas gayi. “Theek hai, bas aakhri baar maan rahi hoon!” usne kaha, sharmate-sharmate.
Park ke kone me, ped ke neeche, Raju ki jeet ka ek aur jeet likha gaya.
Huma ne Raju ko blowjob de diya...
Huma ke liye yeh ek ajeeb si sharamindagi thi, lekin saath hi ek umeed bhi ki shayad Raju sach me badal raha ho.
Jab woh ghar laut rahi thi, uska mann bol raha tha, “Mujhe iska test lena chahiye tha,” lekin phir usne socha, “Nahi, pyaar ka matlab hi bharosa hai.”
Peeche park me, Raju ek bidi jalate hue bola, “Kya setting hai, saala! Agle din ke liye kuch aur naya sochna padega.”
x-x-x-x
Ek din, Raju ne Huma ko phone kiya, “Huma jee, aaj dil kar raha hai aapke haathon ka bana khana khaun. Woh jo biryani banati ho na, dil khush ho jata hai!”
Huma, jo ab yakeen karne lagi thi ki Raju uski wajah se sudhar gaya hai, sharma kar boli, “Thik hai, par zyada bakwas mat karna, aur tameez se rehna.”
Shaam ko Huma biryani ka dabba le kar Raju ke chhote se kamre par pahunchi. Raju ne darwaza khola aur apni aadat se baaz na aate hue bola, “Huma jee, khushboo biryani ki nahi, aapki aa rahi hai. Kya baat hai, aaj toh aur bhi khoobsurat lag rahi ho!”
Huma ne aankh dikhai, “Bakwas band kar, aur plate nikal.” Lekin plate lana toh door, Raju ne dabba table par rakha aur bed ki taraf dekhte hue bola, “Huma jee, yeh bed kitna adhoora lagta hai na? Aapke saath ho toh bas sab perfect ho jaye.”
Huma ne zyada bhaav na dete hue kaha, “Mujhe nautanki bilkul pasand nahi hai, samjhe? Seedha khaane par dhyan de.”
Raju ne apna signature puppy-dog look banaya aur bola, “Huma jee, dil ki baat bol raha hoon. Aapki company me toh khane ka bhi maza dugna ho jata hai.”
Huma, jo ab tak gusse me thi, thoda pighal gayi. “Accha thik hai, khaana lagati hoon,” woh boli, aur kitchen me bartan dho kar biryani garam karne lagi.
Raju, jo tab tak bed par baitha tha, dheere se uske paas aaya aur bola, “Huma jee, biryani ka toh baad me dekhenge, pehle ek baat batao... aapko mere saath yahan aake kaisa lagta hai?”
Huma, jo apni sharmili nature ki wajah se aankh nahi mila rahi thi, jaldi se boli, “Main bas tumhe sudharne ki koshish kar rahi hoon. Tumhare liye aaj tak kisi ne itna nahi kiya hoga, hai na?”
Raju ne ek shatir muskaan di, “Bilkul nahi, Huma jee. Aap toh meri zindagi ki pehli aur akhri achhi cheez ho. Bas, isi liye chhoti si request thi...”
Huma ne nazar uthai, “Kya?”
Raju bed ki taraf ishaara karte hue bola, “Kya yeh bed sirf biryani ke liye use hoga? Ya humari bonding aur strong banane ke liye bhi?”
Huma ka chehra laal ho gaya. “Raju! Tum besharam ho! Main yahan tumhari madad karne aayi hoon, aur tum... tum yeh sab...”
Raju ne uske dono haath pakad liye aur bola, “Huma jee, yeh sab meri dil ki baat hai. Main sirf aapke saath apna har moment special banana chahta hoon.”
Huma ne aankh ghumayi, lekin ek chhoti si smile daba nahi paayi. “Tum sudharoge nahi, hai na?”
Raju ne hans kar bola, “Aapke bina toh kuch sudharne ka mann bhi nahi karta.”
Tabhi Huma ne ek aur sharp look diya aur poochha, “Aur condom? Kaha hai? Last time ke liye maine tumhe clearly bola tha!”
Raju ne apni jeb tapki, ek awkward smile ke saath bola, “Arrey, woh... actually... motorcycle ka fine bharna pada tha na? Condom ke liye paisa nahi bacha. Par main guarantee deta hoon, next time zarur le aunga.”
Huma ne apne haath pe rakhte hue apni sharm chhupane ki koshish ki, “Raju, tum na ek din mujhe problem me daal doge.”
Raju ne ek cheeky smile di, “Huma jee, main aapko bas khushiyon me daalna chahta hoon, aur kuch nahi.”
Aur baaki jo sharmili protest thi, woh bhi bed ke ek kone me chhup gayi, kyunki Raju ka charm aur harami dialogue kaam kar chuka tha, aur Raju apne bistar pe lita ke Huma ko khub chudai karta hai, aur baad me Huma ki hath se biryani khata hai.
x-x-x-x
Ye sab ek mahine tak chalta raha. Din me Huma news dekh kar confuse ho jati thi ki chain-snatching ke cases kaise itne badh rahe hain, lekin raat me jab Raju ka dil se "I love you, Huma jee" sunti thi, to use lagta ki duniya me sab kuch theek ho raha hai. Uska mann khush hota tha ki usne apne pyar aur "special efforts" se ek sadakchaap chor ko sudhar diya hai.
Har raat ka ek naya plan hota—kabhi park ke andhere kone me, kabhi cinema ke peeche wali parking me, kabhi kisi apartment ki chhat par, aur kabhi Raju ke kamre ke bistar par. Har baar jab Raju bina condom ke milta, to pehle Huma ka gussa chadhta, "Raju! Tumne ab tak condom kyun nahi rakha?" Raju apni usual harami muskaan ke sath bolta, "Huma jee, condom se pyaar natural nahi lagta. Aur waise bhi, aapka pyar hi toh meri asli safety hai!"
Huma uski baat sun kar ek taraf khud ko samjhati ki ye pyar ki baat hai, aur dusri taraf apne decisions pe thoda doubt karti. Lekin Raju ka over-the-top charming attitude uska har gussa seconds me gaayab kar deta.
Huma ne apne andar ek alag si jeet mehsoos ki thi. Jab bhi woh news me chain-snatching ke cases dekhti, to uska mann khush hota ki uske Raju ne ye sab chhod diya hai. "Maine ek insaan ko badalne ka kaam kar diya hai. Bas, ab yeh duniya usse ek nayi shuruaat dene ko tayar ho jaye," woh khud se sochti thi.
Ek raat, jab Raju ke kamre ka bistar uska aur Huma ka sabse safe zone ban chuka tha, Huma ne muskara ke kaha, "Raju, tumhari life kitni badal gayi hai na?" Raju, jo us samay Huma ki kamar ko pakad kar usse paas la raha tha, hansi dabate hue bola, "Huma jee, aapki wajah se meri duniya hi badal gayi hai. Aap ho, to sab kuch hai."
Huma ki aankhon me ek proud wali chamak aa gayi. Use sach me lagta tha ki uska pyar, uska bharosa aur thodi si chhup-chhup ke ki gayi chudai ne Raju ko ek naya insaan bana diya hai. Usne toh ye bhi sochna shuru kar diya tha ki shayad Raju ek din kisi news channel par sudhar ka example banega. "Dekho, ek sadakchaap chor ko ek achhe insaan me badalne ke peeche ek pyaar karne wali ladki ka haath hota hai," woh apne imagination me interview tak de rahi thi.
Lekin Huma ko ye nahi pata tha ki Raju ki "nai duniya" me uska chor-gang aur zyada chust ho gaya hai. Raat ko jo pyar aur promises hoti thi, subah wo sab kuch bhool kar Raju apni purani duniya me wapas chala jata tha, aur chain-snatching ka level ab "premium services" tak pahunch gaya tha.
x-x-x-x
Ek din Huma apne room me baithi thi, TV on tha, aur woh Raju ke gift diye hue chocolate ke akhiri piece ka maza le rahi thi. Tabhi news channel pe ek breaking headline flash hui: “Chain-snatching gang ka leader giraftaar, market me logon ne ki dhulayi!” Huma ka mann ekdum se alert ho gaya. Screen pe ek photo dikhayi gayi jo dheere dheere zoom in ho rahi thi—aur woh koi aur nahi, balki Raju tha.
Anchor bade dramatic tareeke se chilla raha tha, “Gang ka leader, jo pichle ek mahine se chain-snatching ka terror bana hua tha, aaj logon ke haathon range haath pakda gaya. Logon ne uski zordar pitaai ki aur police ke hawale kar diya!”
Huma ka chocolate uske muh me hi freeze ho gaya. Usne remote neeche pataka aur apna sir dono haathon se pakad liya. “Yeh kya kiya, Raju! Chutiya Kameena Madarchod Sala!!!” usne chilla kar kaha. Ek taraf news channel par dikh raha tha ki Raju ka muh kisi punching bag ki tarah phoola hua hai, aur doosri taraf Huma ki imagination me wo Raju ke “Huma jee, aapki wajah se main badal gaya hoon” wale dialogues ghoom rahe the.
Sham hote hi, Huma seedhe apni best friend Farzana ke ghar ja pahunchi. Farzana, jo already us news ko dekh chuki thi, apni hasi dabate hue darwaza kholti hai. Huma ke haath me ek brown bag tha, jo obvious tha ki Farzana ke dukaan se i-pill lene gayi thi.
Farzana: “Arre madam, andar to aayiye, ya seedha condom ke liye aayi hain?”
Huma: (chillate hue) “Band kar tu apna mazaak, mujhe already chakkar aa rahe hain!”
Farzana: (seriously acting karte hue) “Arre sorry, bhool gayi main. Tum toh ek social worker ho na. Ek chain-snatcher ko sudhar kar uska rehab chalana chah rahi thi.”
Huma ne apne bag se khali i-pill ke packet nikali aur Farzana ke bed pe patak di. “Mujhe lagta tha ki mera pyaar usse sudhar dega, par tu dekh, usne kya kiya!” Farzana apni hassi rok nahi paayi. “Tujhe kya laga tha, Huma? Ki tujhe dating ke saath crime reform ka Nobel prize mil jayega?”
Huma: “Farzi baatein mat kar, mujhe toh samajh nahi aa raha ki usne mere pyaar ko kaise jhootha banaya.”
Farzana: (sarcastically) “Jhootha? Arre Raju toh asli lover hai! Jo har raat bina condom ke risk le, woh toh jaan de sakta hai, bas jail se nahi bachega.”
Huma ne apna sir pakad liya. “Mujhe laga tha ki wo sudhar gaya hai, isliye maine…”
Farzana ne beech me kaat diya. “Haan, haan, pata hai! Tune uska khud pe kaafi ‘investment’ kiya hai, woh bhi bina insurance ke!”
Farzana: (laugh karte hue) “Waise soch, Huma. Tune ek chain-snatcher ke liye biryani banayi, uske kapde dhoye, aur mere dukaan ki i-pill ki stock lagbhag zero kar di. Par phir bhi usne tujhe hero nahi villain banaya! Chutiya kaat diya tera!!!”
Huma ne ek cushion uthaya aur Farzana pe maar diya. “Bohot mazaak kar rahi hai, dekh loongi tujhe!”
Farzana: (hassi dabate hue) “Tujhe dekh ke bas ek hi baat yaad aati hai: pyaar andha hota hai, par condom ke bina toh aur bhi andha hota hai!”
Dono hassi ke mare loot pot ho gayi, lekin Huma ke andar ek ajeeb si feeling thi—Jaise ki uske muh se "denchu denchu nikal jaye"
Farzana ne finally kaha, “Chal, ab tu sudhar. Next time kisi Raju ko nahi, kisi IT professional ko date kar. Lekin sali main tere ko acche se janati hun, ghar pahuchane se pehele koi teri chut mar lega”
Huma gusse me aankh dikhati hai, aur gusse se kehti hai, "Aaj se main kisi se ke sath sex nahi karungi, next hoga mera sauhar" Aur dono hansane lagate hain...
Huma apne pura pair failaye nange bistar pe leti thi, jaise koi sehzadi ho jo abhi apna sehzade ka intezaar kar rahi ho. Raju samne khada tha, apni shirt utarte hue, lekin harami smile ke saath.
“Huma jee,” Raju ne apni shirt gande style me phekte hue bola, “Ek baat puchhun? Gusse mat hona.”
Huma ne irritate hote hue aankhein ghumayi. “Raju, phir se koi bakwas karne wale ho? Jaldi bolo, aur yaad rakhna, mere dimag ke upar ab tumhari nautanki nahi chadti.”
Raju, jo ek number ka harami tha, seedha bistar ke paas aake bola, “Dekho Huma, tumhari wajah se mujhe sudharne ka ek aur moka mila hai. Agar tum mujhe chod dogi, toh main wapas woh chain-chhod Raju ban jaunga jo sabko darrata tha.”
Huma ne ek thandi nazar us par daali, jaise bol rahi ho, "Kutte ki dum kabhi seedhi nahi hoti." “Raju, tumhara sudharna toh ek ajeeb joke lagta hai. Kal hi news mein chain-snatching ki report aayi thi. Batao, woh tum toh nahi the na?”
Raju ne ekdam innocent face banaya, jaise ek chhota baccha chocolate chhupane ki koshish kar raha ho. “Arey Huma jee, kasam se bol raha hoon, woh main nahi tha. Aapki wajah se ab main ek nayi zindagi jee raha hoon. Ab toh sirf aapki chudai ke sapne dekhta hoon.”
Huma ne uski baat sunte hi pillow uthaya aur uske muh par de maara. “Bhaad me ja Raju! Teri baatein sunke lagta hai main tujhe hi jail bhej doon!”
Raju ekdam se pillow ko pakad ke bola, “Arrey Huma jee, aap toh serious ho gayi. Kasam se bol raha hoon, ab chori nahi karta. Aap chahein toh meri jeb check kar lo. Chain ke jagah sirf condom milega!”
Huma ne pillow hata ke uski taraf dekha, jaise uska dimaag ghuma diya ho. “Teri bakwas sunke lagta hai, tere khilaf ek FIR karwa doon.”
Raju ne bistar ke paas jhukh kar uske pair pakad liye, ekdam nautanki mode on. “Arrey Huma jee, meri maa, meri devi! Agar aap mujhse naraz ho gayi, toh mera kya hoga? Aapki wajah se hi toh maine chain-snatching chhodi hai!”
Huma ka dil, jo kabhi kabhi logic ke jagah emotion ke saath chalta tha, pigal gaya. “Thik hai, maan leti hoon. Par Raju, agar mujhe pata chala ki tum jhooth bol rahe ho na, toh tujhe kaat ke tujhe bhi jail bhej dungi!”
Raju ka harami smile wapas aaya. Woh bistar par chadhte hue bola, “Arrey Huma jee, ab toh jail bhi tabhi jaunga jab aapka mann ho. Filhaal toh bas ek aur round chahiye.”, Raju ka lund jhul raha tha, jise dekh Huma ke hum se aanh nikalti hai,
Huma ne uski taraf dekha, jaise uska dimaag ka fuse ud gaya ho. “Raju, tujhe kabhi aur kuch soojhta hai? Chal jaldi khatam kar, mujhe ghar jaana hai.”
Raju ne ek mischievous tone me bola, “Ghar jaana toh thik hai, lekin pehle jhadiyon waali yaadein thoda fresh kar lein? Aapki kasam, adventure ke bina maza nahi aata.”
Huma ne uski collar kheenchte hue kaha, “Raju, teri harkate dekh ke lagta hai ek din tujhe log maar ke hospital bhejenge.”
Raju ne cheeky smile ke saath bola, “Huma jee, logon ka kya hai, unko maarne dijiye. Filhaal toh bas aap ke saath time pass kar raha hoon. Ab chhodo lecture, aur bas apna mood banaiye.”
Raju ne apne lund pe thuka, aur Huma ke pair faila ke aage badha hi tha ki Huma apna hath niche laga rok deti hai, "Condom kahan hai Raju!?"
Huma ne uski taraf ghusse se dekha, jaise keh rahi ho, "Teri nautanki ab nahi chalegi." "Raju, pehle condom leke aa, warna yeh sab yahin khatam."
Raju ne apne usual innocent expressions ke saath bola, "Huma jee, condom ka kya karna? Pyar ke beech barrier nahi hona chahiye. Aur waise bhi, aap hi toh kehti hain ki main sudhar raha hoon. Aapke pyar ka asar condom ke bagair zyada achha lagega."
Huma ne apna sir pakad liya, jaise khud se pooch rahi ho, "Kyun main is harami ke saath ab tak hoon?" Lekin fir Raju ke dramatics ne uska dimaag fir se gum kar diya.
"Dekhiye, Huma jee," Raju ne apna tone thoda emotional banate hue kaha, "Aap par mujhe bharosa hai. Agar condom nahi hai, toh kya hua? Aap hi toh keh rahi thi ki meri sudharne ki journey ka part hain."
Huma ne thoda aur ghusse se bola, "Raju, ye sudharne ki journey condom ke bina nahi chalegi! Kal jab koi problem hogi, tab mujhe blame mat karna."
Raju ne apne harami charm ka last card khela, "Huma jee, agar aap chahengi, toh main kal pura box condoms ka le aaunga. Par aaj ke liye, sirf aapke pyar ke bharose chalne dijiye."
Huma ne ek lambi sigh le kar apna hath hata diya. "Thik hai, Raju, lekin kal condom ke bina mat aana. Aur agar mujhe laga ki tum mujhe phir se ullu bana rahe ho, toh yeh sab hamesha ke liye khatam."
Raju ne ek jiti hui kamini smile ke saath kaha, "Huma jee, aapka pyaar meri zindagi ka GPS hai. Ab tension mat lijiye, sab smooth hoga."
Aur usi smoothness ke saath, Raju ka harami-pan aur Huma ka pyar ek baar phir dominate kar gaya.
Aur is tarah, Raju ki nautanki aur harami baatein ek baar phir kaam kar gayi. Huma ko lagta raha ki woh uski wajah se sudhar raha hai, lekin asli mein Raju ka harami mode chalu tha—din mein chain-snatching aur raat mein Huma ke sath chhed-chhad aur nautanki.
x-x-x-x
Huma aur Raju ka rishta ek ajeeb si kahani tha, jo jhooth, chhed-chhad, aur gandi baaton ka cocktail lagta tha. Har din ek nayi story, ek nayi jagah, aur Raju ke naye bahane. Huma ke dil ka ek hissa ab bhi is galatfehmi me tha ki uska pyar Raju jaise kameene insaan ko sudhar raha hai. Lekin, doosri taraf, Huma ka dimaag baar-baar news dekhte hue sawaal uthata. Chain-snatching ke cases din-ba-din kam hone ke bajaye aur zyada badh rahe the. Jab bhi Raju ke upar shak hota, uski baatein itni chikni hoti ki Huma ka doubt kuch samay ke liye hawa ho jata.
x-x-x-x
Ek shaam, Raju Huma ko pick karne aaya aur bola, "Huma jee, ek romantic movie lagi hai. Chalenge?" Huma, jo ab tak apne doston ke samne Raju ke sudharne ka lecture de chuki thi, sharmate hue maan gayi. Cinema hall ke andhar pehle toh sab normal lag raha tha. Lights dim hote hi Raju apni purani harkatein shuru kar chuka tha. Pehle popcorn ka bahana, phir “aap thoda adjust ho jaaiye” kehkar aur paas aana, aur dheere-dheere uska haath Huma ke kandhe par tha.
Huma ne narazgi dikhai, “Raju, sab dekh rahe hain!”
Raju ne apni harami smile ke saath bola, “Arrey, Huma jee, yeh sab romance ka part hai. Sab apni movie me busy hain. Relax!”
Ek haath se popcorn ka tukda utha ke kabhi khud khata, kabhi Huma ko khilata, aur doosra haath dheere-dheere uski lap ki taraf phisal chuka tha. Huma pehle toh protest karne wali thi, par Raju ki aankhon me woh confidence dekhke chhup reh gayi aur Raju ka hath dheere dheere Huma ki panties me chala gaya.
“Raju, kya kar rahe ho? Yahan nahi!” Huma ne dheere se frown karte hue kaha.
Raju ne innocent tone me bola, “Huma jee, pyar ke liye diwar nahi honi chahiye. Aap tension mat lo, bas maza lijiye.”
Interval tak Raju ka haath aur aage ja chuka tha, aur uski fingers Huma ke bare skin ko tease kar rahi thi. Huma ka dil zor se dhadak raha tha, lekin woh kuch bol nahi pai. Raju, ek dum casual expression ke saath, popcorn kha raha tha, jaise kuch hua hi na ho.
Jab interval hua, Huma restroom ke liye gayi, toh Raju bhi peeche aa gaya. Lekin ladies room ki jagah, usne Huma ka haath pakad ke men’s room ka darwaza khol diya.
“Huma jee, yahaan koi nahi aayega. Safe jagah hai,” usne confident tone me kaha, jaise koi mastermind ho.
Huma ne ghabraye hue andar aate hi frown kiya, “Raju, ye galat hai. Agar koi pakad lega toh?”
Raju ne mischievous smile ke saath kaha, “Pakadne wala hi nahi hai. Waise bhi, aap mere saath ho. Aur sudharne ke liye mujhe full support chahiye.”
Huma ka gussa thoda soft ho gaya, aur usne poocha, “Raju, condom hai na?”
Raju ne apne pockets tap kiye, jaise kuch dhoond raha ho, aur phir nakli sharmahat ke saath bola, “Huma jee, woh leke aaya hota, par socha ki pyar aur trust ke beech koi barrier nahi hona chahiye.”
Huma ne ek second ke liye ghoor kar dekha, par Raju ki baaton me aake fir haar maan li. “Theek hai, par agli baar bina condom ke baat mat karna!”
Raju ne apne usual confident pose lete hue kaha, “Huma jee, aapka support rahe toh sudharna toh aur bhi asaan ho jata hai.”
Men’s room me ek awkward silence ke baad, Raju aur Huma ki chudai ki awaz gunjane lagi, aur Huma ko ye lag raha ki woh sach me is harami ko sudhar rahi hai.
x-x-x-x
Doosre din, Raju ne Huma ko ek park bulaya. “Huma jee, aapko ek special jagah dikhana hai,” usne bola, apni usual chalu muskaan ke saath. Park ke andar jaate hi usne ek corner wali bench pe baithne ko kaha, jo ped ke neeche aise chhupi thi ki agar koi dekhta bhi, to samajh nahi paata ki kya chal raha hai.
“Yahan ka environment kitna sukoon wala hai, Huma jee,” Raju ne kaha, apne lafzon ko extra heavy banate hue, “Jaise dil ka bojh halka ho gaya. Bas ab lagta hai ek hi cheez chahiye zindagi me—ek saccha pyaar.”
Huma ne thoda soch kar bola, “Raju, tum waise ache aadmi lagte ho, par tumhari baatein hamesha ajeeb kyun hoti hain?”
Raju ne turant drama chalu kar diya. “Huma jee, kya aapko meri niyat par shaq hai? Main woh aadmi hoon jo apne doston ke beech kasam kha chuka hai ki ek din aapke liye mazar pe chadar chadhake aaunga!”
Huma, jo kabhi apne doubt se jeet nahi paayi, fir ek blush ke saath hans di. “Tum sudhar rahe ho, Raju. Maza aata hai tumhari baatein sunn ke.”
Raju ne seedha uska haath pakda aur bola, “Dekhiye, baatein to ho gayi. Par ab ek cheez ka jawaab do, jo sacche pyaar ki asli pariksha hai.”
Huma ne jhijhak kar poocha, “Kya?”
Raju ekdam close aaya aur dheere se bola, “Ek bade pyaar wale kaam ka waqt aa gaya hai. Huma jee, agar aapko lagta hai ki main sudhar raha hoon, to mujhe apna pyaar feel karne do. Matlab… aap samajh rahi hain na?”
Huma sharm se ekdum lal. “Raju! Tumhari yeh baatein… matlab kya…?”
Raju ne kaan ke peeche haath le jaakar bola, “Dekho, simple hai. Ek baar… woh… ek ‘BlowJob’ de do. Maan lijiye ki yeh sacche pyaar ki nishani hai. Kya aapko meri dil se sudharne ki koshish pe bharosa hai?”
Huma ne aankhein gol ki. “Raju, yeh kya bakwas karte ho?”
“Arey, bakwas nahi, Huma jee!” Raju ne filmy style me bola, “Yeh toh pyaar ka litmus test hai. Kya tumne pehle kisi ke liye itna kiya hai?"
Raju apne full chalu mode me aa gaya. “Dekho, pyaar ek bonding hai, ek connection hai. Usko aur mazboot karne ke liye ek nishani chahiye hoti hai. Aur woh hai… ek BJ.”
Huma ka muh khula ka khula reh gaya. “Kya! Tum paagal ho gaye ho kya? Yeh kis type ka pyaar hai?”
“Arey, Huma jee, yeh toh true love ka ek proof hai!” Raju ne filmy andaaz me bola. “Dekho, duniya me do tarah ke insaan hote hain—ek jo bas sweet talk karte hain aur kuch nahi karte, aur doosre jo apne pyaar ke liye extreme level tak jaate hain. Main woh extreme waale category ka banda hoon.”
“Tumhare extreme pyaar ka matlab sirf ek ghatiya idea hai!” Huma ne kaha, lekin andar se thodi sharmayi.
“Ghatiya idea?” Raju ne ek fake shock wala expression diya. “Arre, yeh toh sabse asli bonding hoti hai! Dekho na, agar tum mujhe pyaar karti ho, toh kya tum mere sudharne ke mission me help nahi karogi? Agar tum mujhe apna 100% nahi dogi, toh main kaise acha aadmi banoonga?”
“Raju, tum toh blackmail kar rahe ho!” Huma ne kaha.
“Arre, blackmail nahi, Huma jee! Yeh toh pyaar ka asli test hai. Dekho, tumhare bina main toh kal se waapas wohi purana Raju ban jaunga. Ek chance de do!”
Huma ne ek lamha liya, fir bola, “Tumhari baaton ka koi limit hai kya?”
“Limit hoti to kya main Raju hota?” usne aankh maarte hue bola. “Dekho, bas ek baar, aur meri puri zindagi badal jayegi. Main tumhara hero banne ko tayar hoon, bas tum mujhe prove karne do ki tum sacchi ho.”
Huma ne sochne ka natak kiya, lekin woh Raju ki baaton me phir se fas gayi. “Theek hai, bas aakhri baar maan rahi hoon!” usne kaha, sharmate-sharmate.
Park ke kone me, ped ke neeche, Raju ki jeet ka ek aur jeet likha gaya.
Huma ne Raju ko blowjob de diya...
Huma ke liye yeh ek ajeeb si sharamindagi thi, lekin saath hi ek umeed bhi ki shayad Raju sach me badal raha ho.
Jab woh ghar laut rahi thi, uska mann bol raha tha, “Mujhe iska test lena chahiye tha,” lekin phir usne socha, “Nahi, pyaar ka matlab hi bharosa hai.”
Peeche park me, Raju ek bidi jalate hue bola, “Kya setting hai, saala! Agle din ke liye kuch aur naya sochna padega.”
x-x-x-x
Ek din, Raju ne Huma ko phone kiya, “Huma jee, aaj dil kar raha hai aapke haathon ka bana khana khaun. Woh jo biryani banati ho na, dil khush ho jata hai!”
Huma, jo ab yakeen karne lagi thi ki Raju uski wajah se sudhar gaya hai, sharma kar boli, “Thik hai, par zyada bakwas mat karna, aur tameez se rehna.”
Shaam ko Huma biryani ka dabba le kar Raju ke chhote se kamre par pahunchi. Raju ne darwaza khola aur apni aadat se baaz na aate hue bola, “Huma jee, khushboo biryani ki nahi, aapki aa rahi hai. Kya baat hai, aaj toh aur bhi khoobsurat lag rahi ho!”
Huma ne aankh dikhai, “Bakwas band kar, aur plate nikal.” Lekin plate lana toh door, Raju ne dabba table par rakha aur bed ki taraf dekhte hue bola, “Huma jee, yeh bed kitna adhoora lagta hai na? Aapke saath ho toh bas sab perfect ho jaye.”
Huma ne zyada bhaav na dete hue kaha, “Mujhe nautanki bilkul pasand nahi hai, samjhe? Seedha khaane par dhyan de.”
Raju ne apna signature puppy-dog look banaya aur bola, “Huma jee, dil ki baat bol raha hoon. Aapki company me toh khane ka bhi maza dugna ho jata hai.”
Huma, jo ab tak gusse me thi, thoda pighal gayi. “Accha thik hai, khaana lagati hoon,” woh boli, aur kitchen me bartan dho kar biryani garam karne lagi.
Raju, jo tab tak bed par baitha tha, dheere se uske paas aaya aur bola, “Huma jee, biryani ka toh baad me dekhenge, pehle ek baat batao... aapko mere saath yahan aake kaisa lagta hai?”
Huma, jo apni sharmili nature ki wajah se aankh nahi mila rahi thi, jaldi se boli, “Main bas tumhe sudharne ki koshish kar rahi hoon. Tumhare liye aaj tak kisi ne itna nahi kiya hoga, hai na?”
Raju ne ek shatir muskaan di, “Bilkul nahi, Huma jee. Aap toh meri zindagi ki pehli aur akhri achhi cheez ho. Bas, isi liye chhoti si request thi...”
Huma ne nazar uthai, “Kya?”
Raju bed ki taraf ishaara karte hue bola, “Kya yeh bed sirf biryani ke liye use hoga? Ya humari bonding aur strong banane ke liye bhi?”
Huma ka chehra laal ho gaya. “Raju! Tum besharam ho! Main yahan tumhari madad karne aayi hoon, aur tum... tum yeh sab...”
Raju ne uske dono haath pakad liye aur bola, “Huma jee, yeh sab meri dil ki baat hai. Main sirf aapke saath apna har moment special banana chahta hoon.”
Huma ne aankh ghumayi, lekin ek chhoti si smile daba nahi paayi. “Tum sudharoge nahi, hai na?”
Raju ne hans kar bola, “Aapke bina toh kuch sudharne ka mann bhi nahi karta.”
Tabhi Huma ne ek aur sharp look diya aur poochha, “Aur condom? Kaha hai? Last time ke liye maine tumhe clearly bola tha!”
Raju ne apni jeb tapki, ek awkward smile ke saath bola, “Arrey, woh... actually... motorcycle ka fine bharna pada tha na? Condom ke liye paisa nahi bacha. Par main guarantee deta hoon, next time zarur le aunga.”
Huma ne apne haath pe rakhte hue apni sharm chhupane ki koshish ki, “Raju, tum na ek din mujhe problem me daal doge.”
Raju ne ek cheeky smile di, “Huma jee, main aapko bas khushiyon me daalna chahta hoon, aur kuch nahi.”
Aur baaki jo sharmili protest thi, woh bhi bed ke ek kone me chhup gayi, kyunki Raju ka charm aur harami dialogue kaam kar chuka tha, aur Raju apne bistar pe lita ke Huma ko khub chudai karta hai, aur baad me Huma ki hath se biryani khata hai.
x-x-x-x
Ye sab ek mahine tak chalta raha. Din me Huma news dekh kar confuse ho jati thi ki chain-snatching ke cases kaise itne badh rahe hain, lekin raat me jab Raju ka dil se "I love you, Huma jee" sunti thi, to use lagta ki duniya me sab kuch theek ho raha hai. Uska mann khush hota tha ki usne apne pyar aur "special efforts" se ek sadakchaap chor ko sudhar diya hai.
Har raat ka ek naya plan hota—kabhi park ke andhere kone me, kabhi cinema ke peeche wali parking me, kabhi kisi apartment ki chhat par, aur kabhi Raju ke kamre ke bistar par. Har baar jab Raju bina condom ke milta, to pehle Huma ka gussa chadhta, "Raju! Tumne ab tak condom kyun nahi rakha?" Raju apni usual harami muskaan ke sath bolta, "Huma jee, condom se pyaar natural nahi lagta. Aur waise bhi, aapka pyar hi toh meri asli safety hai!"
Huma uski baat sun kar ek taraf khud ko samjhati ki ye pyar ki baat hai, aur dusri taraf apne decisions pe thoda doubt karti. Lekin Raju ka over-the-top charming attitude uska har gussa seconds me gaayab kar deta.
Huma ne apne andar ek alag si jeet mehsoos ki thi. Jab bhi woh news me chain-snatching ke cases dekhti, to uska mann khush hota ki uske Raju ne ye sab chhod diya hai. "Maine ek insaan ko badalne ka kaam kar diya hai. Bas, ab yeh duniya usse ek nayi shuruaat dene ko tayar ho jaye," woh khud se sochti thi.
Ek raat, jab Raju ke kamre ka bistar uska aur Huma ka sabse safe zone ban chuka tha, Huma ne muskara ke kaha, "Raju, tumhari life kitni badal gayi hai na?" Raju, jo us samay Huma ki kamar ko pakad kar usse paas la raha tha, hansi dabate hue bola, "Huma jee, aapki wajah se meri duniya hi badal gayi hai. Aap ho, to sab kuch hai."
Huma ki aankhon me ek proud wali chamak aa gayi. Use sach me lagta tha ki uska pyar, uska bharosa aur thodi si chhup-chhup ke ki gayi chudai ne Raju ko ek naya insaan bana diya hai. Usne toh ye bhi sochna shuru kar diya tha ki shayad Raju ek din kisi news channel par sudhar ka example banega. "Dekho, ek sadakchaap chor ko ek achhe insaan me badalne ke peeche ek pyaar karne wali ladki ka haath hota hai," woh apne imagination me interview tak de rahi thi.
Lekin Huma ko ye nahi pata tha ki Raju ki "nai duniya" me uska chor-gang aur zyada chust ho gaya hai. Raat ko jo pyar aur promises hoti thi, subah wo sab kuch bhool kar Raju apni purani duniya me wapas chala jata tha, aur chain-snatching ka level ab "premium services" tak pahunch gaya tha.
x-x-x-x
Ek din Huma apne room me baithi thi, TV on tha, aur woh Raju ke gift diye hue chocolate ke akhiri piece ka maza le rahi thi. Tabhi news channel pe ek breaking headline flash hui: “Chain-snatching gang ka leader giraftaar, market me logon ne ki dhulayi!” Huma ka mann ekdum se alert ho gaya. Screen pe ek photo dikhayi gayi jo dheere dheere zoom in ho rahi thi—aur woh koi aur nahi, balki Raju tha.
Anchor bade dramatic tareeke se chilla raha tha, “Gang ka leader, jo pichle ek mahine se chain-snatching ka terror bana hua tha, aaj logon ke haathon range haath pakda gaya. Logon ne uski zordar pitaai ki aur police ke hawale kar diya!”
Huma ka chocolate uske muh me hi freeze ho gaya. Usne remote neeche pataka aur apna sir dono haathon se pakad liya. “Yeh kya kiya, Raju! Chutiya Kameena Madarchod Sala!!!” usne chilla kar kaha. Ek taraf news channel par dikh raha tha ki Raju ka muh kisi punching bag ki tarah phoola hua hai, aur doosri taraf Huma ki imagination me wo Raju ke “Huma jee, aapki wajah se main badal gaya hoon” wale dialogues ghoom rahe the.
Sham hote hi, Huma seedhe apni best friend Farzana ke ghar ja pahunchi. Farzana, jo already us news ko dekh chuki thi, apni hasi dabate hue darwaza kholti hai. Huma ke haath me ek brown bag tha, jo obvious tha ki Farzana ke dukaan se i-pill lene gayi thi.
Farzana: “Arre madam, andar to aayiye, ya seedha condom ke liye aayi hain?”
Huma: (chillate hue) “Band kar tu apna mazaak, mujhe already chakkar aa rahe hain!”
Farzana: (seriously acting karte hue) “Arre sorry, bhool gayi main. Tum toh ek social worker ho na. Ek chain-snatcher ko sudhar kar uska rehab chalana chah rahi thi.”
Huma ne apne bag se khali i-pill ke packet nikali aur Farzana ke bed pe patak di. “Mujhe lagta tha ki mera pyaar usse sudhar dega, par tu dekh, usne kya kiya!” Farzana apni hassi rok nahi paayi. “Tujhe kya laga tha, Huma? Ki tujhe dating ke saath crime reform ka Nobel prize mil jayega?”
Huma: “Farzi baatein mat kar, mujhe toh samajh nahi aa raha ki usne mere pyaar ko kaise jhootha banaya.”
Farzana: (sarcastically) “Jhootha? Arre Raju toh asli lover hai! Jo har raat bina condom ke risk le, woh toh jaan de sakta hai, bas jail se nahi bachega.”
Huma ne apna sir pakad liya. “Mujhe laga tha ki wo sudhar gaya hai, isliye maine…”
Farzana ne beech me kaat diya. “Haan, haan, pata hai! Tune uska khud pe kaafi ‘investment’ kiya hai, woh bhi bina insurance ke!”
Farzana: (laugh karte hue) “Waise soch, Huma. Tune ek chain-snatcher ke liye biryani banayi, uske kapde dhoye, aur mere dukaan ki i-pill ki stock lagbhag zero kar di. Par phir bhi usne tujhe hero nahi villain banaya! Chutiya kaat diya tera!!!”
Huma ne ek cushion uthaya aur Farzana pe maar diya. “Bohot mazaak kar rahi hai, dekh loongi tujhe!”
Farzana: (hassi dabate hue) “Tujhe dekh ke bas ek hi baat yaad aati hai: pyaar andha hota hai, par condom ke bina toh aur bhi andha hota hai!”
Dono hassi ke mare loot pot ho gayi, lekin Huma ke andar ek ajeeb si feeling thi—Jaise ki uske muh se "denchu denchu nikal jaye"
Farzana ne finally kaha, “Chal, ab tu sudhar. Next time kisi Raju ko nahi, kisi IT professional ko date kar. Lekin sali main tere ko acche se janati hun, ghar pahuchane se pehele koi teri chut mar lega”
Huma gusse me aankh dikhati hai, aur gusse se kehti hai, "Aaj se main kisi se ke sath sex nahi karungi, next hoga mera sauhar" Aur dono hansane lagate hain...
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