Thriller Humbug The Great

[syed arshad]

Baith Jao....Safdar Jung Ne Imran Ka Shaana Thapakte Hue Kaha....Tum Mujhe Qadr Aqlmand Bhi Maalum Hote Ho....Baitho....Main Tum Se Guftgu Karna Chahta Hu....!

Imran Baith Gaya....
Lekin
Wo Dr Dawar Ke Liye Bohath Zyada Bechain Tha....Use Yaqeen Tha Ke Wo Fir Unhi Logon Ke Haath Jaa Padhe Hai....Jin Se Hairath Angez Halaath Ke Tahat Chutkara Naseeb Hua Tha....!

Tum Koi Bhi Ho....Safdar Jung Kuch Der Baad Bola....
Lekin
Wo Hargiz Nahi Ho Sakhte Jo Hum Samajhte Hai....!

Main Nahi Jaanta Ke Aap Ne Hum Logon Ke Mutaleekh (Sambhandit) Kya Soncha Tha....Imran Ne Mayoosana Andaaz Mein Sar Hila Kar Kaha....
Aur
Is Waqt Is Hungame Ka Maqsad Bhi Meri Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Sakha....!

Main Isi Mutaleekh Tum Se Guftgu Karna Chahta Hu....
Kyun Ke
Tumhari Hi Wajah Se Main Maamlaat Ki Tahe Tak Pahunchne Ke Khaabil Ho Sakhunga....!

Imran Khamosh Hi Raha....Wo Chahta Tha Ke Safdar Jung Guftgu Ko Taveel (Lamba) Na De Sakhe....!

Kuch Der Khamosh Rahe Kar Safdar Jung Khud Hi Bola....Tum Ne Yahi Kaha Tha Ne Ke Agar Tum Yahan Ruk Gaye To Sajeed Nagar Ki Kutiya Zabardasti Pakadhwa Legi....!

Jee Haa....Mera Yahi Khayal Tha....Imran Khayalaat Mein Dooba Hua Badhbadhaya

Bas To Fir Yeh Wahi Hai....Uske Aadmi Yahan Hadbong Machaya Karte Hai....Safdar Jung Kar Uth Kar Tahelte Hue Kahne Laga....Ab Main Use Dekh Lunga....!

Lekin....Wo Yahan Hadbong Kyun Machate Hai....Imran Ne Pucha

Yahi To Maalum Karna Hai....Is Waqt Tumhare Chacha Ghayab Ho Jane Se Yahi Sabeet Hota Hai Ke Wo Sajeed Nagar Ke Aadmi Hi The....Main Taqreeban Ek Saal Se Pareshaan Hu....Unme Se Ek Bhi Aaj-Tak Haath Nahi Aa Sakha....
Magar
Suno Ladke....Main Kiss Tarah Yaqeen Kar Lu Ke Tum Bhi Unhi Mein Se Nahi Ho....!

Aap Ko Yaqeen Dilaane Ki Kya Surat Hogi....Imran Ne Mayoosana Andaaz Mein Pucha

Achanak Bahar Se Dhamaake Ki Awaaz Ayi....
Aur
Dono Uchal Padhe....!

 

[syed arshad]

Raat Ke 2 Baj Rahe The....Rushy Rani Sajeed Nagar Ke Mahel Ke Ek Kamre Mein Bekhabar So Rahi Thi....Ghaliban Wo Kisi Qism Ki Awaaz Hi Thi Jiss Ne Use Jaga Diya....Use Fauri Taur Par Aisa Mehsoos Hua Jaise Saara Jism Sunn Ho Kar Rahe Gaya Ho....Haath-Pair Hilaane Ki Sakat Bhi Baaqi Na Rahi Thi....Wo Kuch Der Andhere Mein Ghoorti Rahi....
Fir
Kisi Tarah Daahini Karvat Badalne Mein Kaamyaab Hui Ke Awaaz Dobara Sunayi Di....Koi Bedroom Ka Darwaaza Peet Raha Tha....!

Wo Hairaan Rahe Gayi....Yahan Is Qism Ki Koi Harkath Uske Khattai Liye Nayi Thi....Pahle Kabhi Uske Bedroom Ka Darwaaza Is Tarah Nahi Khatkhataya Gaya Tha....Wo Uthi....
Aur
Switch-On Kar Ke Kamre Mein Roshni Kar Di....!

Darwaaza Fir Khatkhataya Gaya....!

Kaun Hai....? Rushy Ne Dabi-Dabi Si Awaaz Mein Pucha

Duniya Ka Azeem Tareen (Mahaan) Aadmi....Bahar Se Awaaz Ayi....Darwaaza Kholo....!

Rushy Ke Liye Awaaz Nayi Nahi Thi....Bhala Humbug The Great Ke Hukm Ki Taameel Wo Be-Chu-Va-Char Kyun Na Karti....Maalik Hi Tha....Usne Jhapat Kar Sleeping-Gown Pahena....
Aur
Darwaaze Ka Bolt Geera Diya....!

Humbug Jhoomta Hua Daakhil Hua....
Aur
Bed Ki Taraf Badhta Chala Gaya....!

Adaab Baja Laati Hu....Your Highness....Rushy Ne Baukhlaye Hue Andaaz Mein Mudh Kar Kaha

 

[syed arshad]

Mujhe Your Highness Kahe Kar Mukhateeb Na Kiya Karo....Usne Narm Lahje Mein Kaha....Kya Tum Nahi Jaanti....Ke Log Mujhe Your Edusoncracy Kahe Kar Mukhateeb Karte Hai....!

Main Aisi Gushtakhi Nahi Kar Sakhti Janab....!

Ooohhh....Gushtakhi....Koobdhe Ne Khahekhaha Lagaya....Humesha Yaad Rakho....Main Duniya Azeem Tareen Aur Zaleel Tareen Aadmi Hu....Tum Is Waqt Mujhe Azeem Na Samjho....Main Us Waqt Azeem Zaroor Tha Jab Maine Tumhare Darwaaze Par Dastak Di Thi....!

Tashreef Rakhiye....Your Edusoncracy....Rushy Ne Kursi Par Jhuk Kar Kaha

Yaqeenan Main Isi Liye Aya Hu....Koobdha Kursi Par Dher Hota Hua Muskuraya

Rushy Ek Taraf Haath Baandh Kar Khadi Ho Gayi....!

Yahan Mere Khareeb Kursi Lao....Usne Kuch Der Baad Dardnaak Awaaz Mein Kaha

Mmmm....Main....Rushy Haklayi

Darro Nahi....Main Ek Haqeer (Tooch) Koobdha Aadmi Hu....Aisa Ke Agar Kisi Sadak Par Tum Mil Jati....
Aur
Main Is Tarah Pesh Aata To Tum Mujhe Thokaron Par Udha Kar Rakh Deti....!

Rushy Sirf Honthon Par Zubaan Pher Kar Rahe Gayi....Kuch Boli Nahi....!

Koobdha Shararath Amaiz Muskurahat Ke Saath Uski Aankhon Mein Dekhta Raha....
Fir
Bola....Tum Bohath Chalaak Ho....!

Rushy Ke Dil Ki Dhadkan Tez Ho Gayi....!

Daftan Koobdhe Ne Khahekhaha Lagaya....
Aur
Kursi Se Uth Kar Thahelne Laga....!

 

[syed arshad]

Rushy Ki Uljhan Badhti Rahi....Wo Sonch Rahi Thi Ke Usne Imran Ki Hidayath (Nirdesh) Par Na Sirf Wahan Mulaazimat Ikhtiyaar Ki Thi....Balke....Un Logon Ki Nazron Mein Imran Se Khattai Be-Taalooq Bani Rahi Thi....Is Waqt Koobdhe Ke Tevar Se Usne Yahi Mehsoos Kiya Jaise Wo Un Dono Ke Mutaleekh (Sambhandit) Sab Kuch Jaanta Ho....
Lehaaza
Wo Halaath Ka Muqaabla Karne Ke Liye Khud Ko Tayyaar Kar Rahi Thi Ke Koobdha Puch Baitha....!

Imran Ke Mutaleekh Tumhari Kya Rai Hai....?

Jee....Kiss Ke Mutaleekh....Rushy Ne Chaunk Kar Sawaal Kiya

Imran Ke Mutaleekh.....Koobdha Uski Aankhon Mein Ghoor Raha Tha

Ooohhh....Wo Paagal....Rushy Hans Padhi....Apni Samajh Se Wo Imran Ke Mutaleekh La-iLmi Zaaher Karne Ki Badi Achi Aadakaari Kar Rahi Thi....!

Kya Wo Haqeeqatan Paagal Hai....Koobdhe Ne Pucha
Aur
Rushy Bohath Zyada Hairaan Nazar Aane Lagi....!

Bhala Main Kya Bata Sakhungi Sarkaar....!

Kya Tum Uske Saath Nahi Rahti Thi....?

Rushy Ne Lambi Saans Li....Wo Samajh Gayi Ke Koobdha Uske Mutaleekh Bohath Kuch Jaanta Hai....
Lehaaza
Ab Imran Se Khattai Be-Taalooqi Zaaher Karna Munaseeb Nahi....!

Mujhe Aiteraaf Hai Ke Main Bohath Dino Tak Uske Saath Rahi Hu....Rushy Ne Thodi Der Baad Kaha....
Fir
Humari Ladhai Ho Gayi Thi....Arsa Hua Uska Flat Chhod Kar....!

Main Tum Se Uske Paagalpan Ke Mutaleekh Puch Raha Hu....!

Mujhe To Wo Humesha Hi Se Paagal Maalum Hota Raha Hai....Haqeeqatan Wo Kya Hai....Main Nahi Jaanti....!

Tumhe Yahan Mulaazimat Karne Ka Mashwara Kiss Ne Diya Tha....!

Kisi Ne Bhi Nahi....Rushy Ne Hairaan Andaaz Mein Kaha....Bhala Mashwara Kaun Deta....Ishtihaar (Vigyapan) Dekh Kar Aa Gayi Thi....!

Main Kaise Maan Lu....!

Fir To....Rushy Ithlayi....Ab Mujhe Yeh Maalum Karna Padhega Ke Main Yahan Kiss Ke Mashware Par Rakhi Gayi Hu....Main Tanha To Nahi Thi Sarkaar....Bohath Si Umeedvar Ayi Thi....!

 

[syed arshad]

Hmmm....Thik Hai....Koobdha Kisi Sonch Mein Padh Gaya....
Fir
Kuch Der Baad Bola....Tum Ne Imran Ke Baare Mein Hume Kyun Nahi Bataya Tha....Ke Tum Use Pahle Se Jaanti Ho....!

Maine Zaroori Nahi Samjha Tha Ke Kisi Ghair Maaqool (Betooka) Aadmi Se Apna Kisi Qism Ka Taalooq Zaaher Karu....!

Ghair Maaqool Kyun....?

Hairath Hai Ke Uske Mutaleekh Bohath Kuch Maalum Hone Ke Bawajood Bhi Aap Use Ghair Maaqool Nahi Samajhte....!

Tum Kya Jano....Main Uske Mutaleekh Kuch Jaanta Hu....!

Aap Ko Mere Mutaleekh Bhi To Bohath Kuch Maalum Hua Hai....!

Main Darasal Uljhan Mein Tha....Wo Ladka Mujhe Behadh Pasand Hai....Uski Deewangi Mere Liye Takleefdeh Hai....Maine Chaha Tha Ke Kuch Der Yahan Rakhta....
Lekin
Wo Paheredaron Ko Jhool De Kar Nikal Gaya....Ab Meri Samajh Mein Nahi Aata Ke Rahman Sahab Ko Kya Jawaab Diya Jaye....!

Mera Khayal Hai Ke Uske Baap Ko Zarra Barabar Bhi Parwaah Na Hogi....Rushy Ne Bura Sa Muh Bana Kar Kaha

Koobdha Thodi Der Tak Kuch Sonchta Raha....
Fir
Bola....Kya Tum Use Talaash Kar Sakhogi....?

Mmmm....Main....Nahi....Sarkaar....Main Us Namaaqool Aadmi Ki Shakl Tak Nahi Dekhna Chahti....!

Aakhir Kyun....?

Usne Mujhe Tabaah Kar Diya....Bahela-Phusla Kar Mujhe Shadaab Nagar Se Laya....
Aur
Fir....Alaihadhgi (Separation) Ikhtiyaar Kar Li....!

Tum Usse Shaadi Karna Chahti Thi....Koobdhe Ne Kuch Sonchte Hue Kaha

Jee Haa....Lekin....Ab Khareeb-Khareeb Uski Zindagi Ki Grahak Ban Kar Rahe Gayi Hu....!

Itni Dushmani....!

Yes Your Edusoncracy....Rushy Ne Gardan Akhda Kar Talq (Kadhve) Lahje Mein Kaha

Safdar Ka Usse Kya Taalooq Ho Sakhta Hai....!

Safdar....Rushy Yaadaasht Par Zor Dene Ki Si Acting Karti Hui Boli....Maine Yeh Naam Kabhi Nahi Suna....!

Tum Mere Secretary Ko Nahi Jaanti....!

Jaanti Hu....!

Uska Naam Safdar Hai....!

Maine Use Imran Ke Saath Kabhi Nahi Dekha....!

Mera Secretary Huliya Bhi Tabdil Kar Sakhta Hai....Make-Up Ka Maaher Hai....!

Tab To Main Vasooq (Sure) Ke Saath Kuch Nahi Kahe Sakhti....
Baherhaal
Maine Maujooda Huliye Mein Use Imran Ke Saath Kabhi Nahi Dekha....!

 

[syed arshad]

Koobdha Fir Kisi Sonch Mein Padh Gaya....
Fir
Achanak....Sar Utha Kar Bola....Us Roshandan Ki Taraf Dekho....!

Rushy Us Janib Dekhne Lagi....
Fir
Jawaab Talab Nazron Ke Saath Uski Taraf Mudhi....!

Koobdha Muskuraya....
Aur
Bola....Kya Dekha....?

Mujhe To Kuch Bhi Nahi Dikhayi Deta....!

Wahan Ek Aisa Aadmi Maujood Hai Jiss Ke Haath Mein Be-Awaaz Revolver Bhi Hai....
Fir
Usne Haath Utha Kar Buland Awaaz Mein Use Mukhateeb Kiya....Us Tasveer Par Fire Karo....!

Achanak Saamne Wali Deewar Par Lagi Hui Tasveeri Frame Ka Sheesha Tukdhon Mein Tabdil Ho Kar Farsh Aa Geera....!

Rushy Laraz Gayi....Uski Khauffzada Aankhein Koobdhe Ki Taraf Uthi Hui Thi....!

Darro Nahi....Koobdhe Ne Sargoshi Ki....
Fir
Zor Se Hans Padha....!

Rushy Ka Dil Tezi Se Dhadak Raha Tha....Kuch Der Qabristan Ki Si Khamoshi Taari Rahi....
Fir
Koobdhe Ki Tez Qism Ki Sargoshi Kamre Ki Mehdood (Simit) Fiza Mein Goonj Uthi....Yeh Andekha....
Aur
Be-Awaaz Revolver Sirf Un Logon Ke Liye Hai Jo Mera Hukm Nahi Maante....!

Mmmm....Mmmaa....Magar....Maine....To....Rushy Haklayi

Aao....Koobdhe Ne Kaha....
Aur
Farsh Par Aundha Let Gaya....
Fir
Chandh Lamhe Khamosh Rahe Kar Taheerzada (Nervous) Rushy Ko Mukhateeb Karta Hua Bola....Aao....Mere Koobdh Par Baith Jao....
Aur
Isi Tarah Aage-Piche Jhoolti Raho Jaise Unth (Camel) Par Savaari Karte Hai....!

Rushy Besaqta Hans Padhi....
Lekin
Dusre Hi Lamhe Mein Koobdha Kisi Kan Kate Kutte Ki Tarah Ghurraya....Kya Tum Ne Mera Hukm Nahi Suna....!

 

[syed arshad]

Oohhh....Ssss....Sarkaar....Yani....Ke....

Bakwaas Bandh Karo....
Varna
Khopdhi Mein Suraakh Ho Jayega....
Aur
Tumhari Laash Kahin Dafan Kar Di Jayegi....Mere Hukm Ki Taameel Karo....Chalo....!

Rushy Ki Position Behadh Mazaaqiya Khaiz Ho Gayi Thi....Uski Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Raha Tha Ke Kya Karna Chahiye....Aisa Maalum Ho Raha Tha Jaise Wo Kisi Patthreele Mujasme (Statue) Hi Ki Tarah Ek Jagaah Behis-O-Harkath Ho Kar Rahe Gayi Ho....!

Guldaan Par Fire Karo....Koobdha Sar Utha Kar Dahaada

Roshandan Se Fir Be-Awaaz Fire Hua....
Aur
Mez Par Rakha Hua Guldaan Choor-Choor Ho Gaya....!

Rushy Buzdil Nahi Thi....
Lekin
Is Situation Ne Use Hila Kar Rakh Diya Tha....
Aur
Us Andhe Aur Be-Awaaz Revolver Ka Khauff Na Hota To Shayad Wo Hanste-Hanste Behosh Ho Jati....Baat Hi Mazaaqiya Khaiz Thi....Hazaaron Par Hukumat Karne Wala Zameen Par Aundha Padha Hua Usse Kahe Raha Tha Ke Wo Uske Koobdh Par Baith Kar Is Tarah Hilti Rahe Jaise Unth Par Savaari Karne Wale Aage-Piche Jhoolte Hai....!

Aao....Koobdha Fir Ghurraya
Aur
Rushy Jhenpe Hue Andaaz Mein Hitchkichate Hue Khadmon Se Uski Taraf Badhi....!

Aao....Aao....Hehehehehe....Koobdha Daant Par Daant Jama Kar Kisi Unth Hi Ki Tarah Bilbilaya....!

Rushy Uske Koobdh Par Baith Kar Hansne Lagi....
Magar
Is Hansi Mein Bechaargi Aur Sharmeelepan Ka Imtezaaj (Combination) Tha....!

 

[syed arshad]

Jhoolo....Jhoolo....Koobdha Josh Mein Aa Kar Aur Zyada Bilbilane Laga

Rushy Hansi Ke Maare Dohri Hui Jaa Rahi Thi....Is Waqt Use Aisa Mehsoos Ho Raha Tha Jaise Wo Pahli Baar Kisi Mard Se Mukhateeb Hui Ho....Aisa Mard Jo Mazaaqiya Khaiz Hone Ki Bina Par Hansne Par Majboor Kar De....
Aur
Jisse Sharm Bhi Aye....Use Khud Apni Mazaaqiya Khaiz Haisiyath Par Hansi Bhi Aa Rahi Thi....
Aur
Sharm Bhi....!

Haaye....Haaye....Koobdha Karaahaa....Bas....Isi Tarah Jhoolti Raho....!

Uske Baad Wo Fir Unthon Ki Tarah Bilbilane Laga....Taqreeban 10 Minute Tak Yahi Kaifiyath Rahi....
Yani
Koobdha Karaahata Raha....
Aur
Rushy....Khi....Khi....Khi....Kar Ke Hansti Rahi....Wo Itni Smart Aur Tunak Mizaaj Hone Ke Bawajood Is Waqt Khud Ko Nanhi Si Bachchi Mehsoos Kar Rahi Thi....!

Bas....Ab Uth Jao....Koobdhe Ne Bharrayi Hui Awaaz Mein Kaha

Rushy Uth Kar Uske Paas Se Hatt Gayi....
Lekin
Ab Bhi Hairaan Andaaz Mein Use Ghoore Jaa Rahi Thi....
Aur
Koobdha Khattai Behis-O-Harkath Ho Gaya Tha....Aankhein Bandh Thi....
Aur
Haath-Pair Phoole Hue The....Saansein Tezi Se Chal Rahi Thi....
Aur
Wo Ab Bhi Aundha Padha Hua Tha....!

Rushy Ki Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Raha Tha Ke Ab Use Kya Karna Chahiye....Pata Nahi....Kyun....Wo Aisi Thakaan Mehsoos Kar Rahi Thi Jaise Usne Kisi Unth Hi Par Baith Kar Koi Lamba Safar Tai Kiya Ho....!

Wo Us Roshandan Ki Taraf Dekhne Lagi Jisse Kuch Der Pahle Be-Awaaz Fire Hue The....
Lekin
Wahan Kuch Bhi Nazar Na Aya....!

 

[syed arshad]

Koobdha Thodi Der Baad Kuch Karaahaa....
Aur
Uth Kar Baith Gaya....Ab Uski Aankhein Dhundhli Thi....
Aur
Chahre Par Gahre Thakaan Ke Asaar The....!

Fir Wo Utha....
Aur
Ladkhadata Hua Ek Kursi Par Dher Ho Gaya....Chandh Lamhe Khamosh Raha....
Fir
Rushy Ki Taraf Ungli Utha Kar Bola....Tum Bohath Achi Ladki Ho....Kya Mujhe Thodi Si Brandy Dogi....!

Main Khattai Nahi Peeti Janab....!

Jhoot Na Bolo....Achi Ladki....Tumhari Aankhein Mujhe Dhoka Nahi De Sakhti....!

Ooohhh....Hans Kar Boli....Bohath Pahle Ki Baat Hai Jab Main Pyar Karti Thi....Jab Se Shadaab Nagar Chhoda Tab Se Sharaab Bhi Chutt Gayi....!

Imran Bhi Nahi Peeta....Koobdhe Ne Kaha Jo Seedhe Uski Aankhon Mein Dekh Raha Tha

Pata Nahi....Pahle To Nahi Peeta Tha....Rushy Ne Laparwaahi Se Kaha

Acha Ladka Hai....
Lekin
Kisi Ghalathfehmi Mein Padh Kar Mere Piche Padh Gaya Hai....Arey....Main To Zindagi Ki Eksaaniyat Se Ukta Gaya Hu....Ek Ghair Mutavazoon (Aasantulit) Aadmi Hu....Yahan Aish Bhi Karta Hu....
Aur
Dar-Ul-Hukumat (Rajdhani) Ki Sadkon Par Thokarein Bhi Khata Phirta Hu....Tum Mujhe Batao....Main Agar Kisi Chauraahe Par Sar Ke Bal Khada Ho Jau To Khanoon Ko Isse Kya Sarokaar....
Agar
Dar-Ul-Hukumat Ke Bachche Mere Piche Taaliyan Bajate Phire To Kisi Ko Kya....Main Zindagi Ki Eksaaniyath Se Bohath Jaldi Ukta Jata Hu....!

 

[syed arshad]

Mmmm....Mmmmaa....Magar....Yeh Unth....Rushy Haklayi

Oohh....Yeh....Koobdha Hansne Laga....
Lekin
Us Hansi Mein Sharmindgi Ki Bajaye Dheetayi Thi....
Aur
Uski Aankhon Mein Kisi Shareer Bachche Ki Si Chamak Nazar Aa Rahi Thi....Wo Thodi Der Tak Hansta Raha....
Fir
Sanjheedgi Ikhtiyaar Karta Hua Dardnaak Lahje Mein Bola....Main Aksar Soncha Ke Unth Hi Hona Chahiye Tha....Na Jane Kyun....Dil Chahta Tha Ke Koi Mujhe Unth Samjhe....Mujh Par Savaari Kare....
Albatta
Bulldog Banna Mujhe Pasand Nahi....
Lekin
Rani Mujhe Yahi Samajhti Hai....Majboori Mein Use Kuch Kahe To Nahi Sakhta....Kitni Mohabbath Karti Hai Mujhse....!

Rushy Hairaan Andaaz Mein Palkein Jhapkati Rahi....
Aur
Fir....Boli....Achi Ladki Kya Tum Mere Gaal Par Thappad Raseed Karogi....Puri Taaqat Se Maaro....!

Rushy Fir Hansne Lagi....
Lekin
Koobdha Ek Beek Maghmoom (Udaas) Nazar Aane Laga....
Aur
Fir....Thodi Der Baad Thandi Saans Le Kar Bola....Shayad Meri Bechain Rooh Ko Marne Ke Baad Bhi Sukoon Na Mil Sakhe....Lahje Mein Ro Dene Ka Sa Andaaz Tha....!

Rushy Sanjheedgi Ikhtiyaar Karne Ki Koshish Karne Lagi....!

Koobdha Ab Bakhaida Hitchkiyan Le Raha Tha....!