Part-4
Ghar ke darwaze tak aate-aate mera gussa kaafi had tak thanda ho chuka tha.
Mela ki woh saari garmahat… woh andhera…maa ki jishm, bur ki pani..
Maa ka rona, uski woh ajeeb-si awaazein…, uska “Please, maaf kar do …” kehna—
sab mere dimaag mein ab bhi ghoom raha tha.
Us waqt maa bilkul tooti hui laag rahi thi.
Dar-se, sharm-se, guilt-se.
Aur main…
main to usse bas rokna chahta tha, samjhaana chahta tha—
par us roop mein maine apni saari sakhti nikaal di.
Ab jab raat ki hawa thandi thi,
mera andar ajeeb sa mehsoos aa raha tha.
Gussa khatam…
par uski jagah ek aisi feeling…
jo main khud ko bhi samjha nahi paa raha tha.
Gate dhire se khola.
Ghar ke andar se roshni ki ek naram si lakeer aa rahi thi.
Main seedha kitchen ki taraf jaa raha tha jab ek pal ke liye main ruk gaya…
Woh waha khadi thi.
Maa.
Maa hamesha ki trah dikhthii. Itna kuch ho chuka tha, par uske chehre par zara si bhi ghabrahat nahi. Jaise kuch hua hi na ho… jaise woh koi doosri hi Aurat ho.
Main kitchen ke paas ruk gaya. Woh bartan rakh rahi thi, aankhon mein wahi shaant si masoomiyat. Par meri nazar bas ek pal ke liye uske gaal par tik gayi. Halka sa laalpan… shayad meri wajah se. Shayad sirf main hi notice kar sakta tha. Aur pata nahi kyun, us ek nishaan ne mujhe thoda sa hila diya.
“Kaise itni normal kaise ho sakti hai?” maine mann hi mann socha. Mela mein jo kuch hua… uska ek pal ka asar bhi iske chehre pe nahi. Jaise uske do chehre ho—ek jo sabko dikhta hai, aur ek jo chhupa rehta hai.
Main ne zyada sochna nahi chaha. Shayad usne apni galti samajh li ho. Shayad sach-much sab theek ho gaya ho.
Par phir bhi… jaise hi woh mere paas se guzri, meri nazar apne aap us par rukh gayi. Pata nahi kya tha, par uski chaal, uski narmi, uski khamosh si ada… kuch alag lag rahi thi. Jaise meri aankhen usko pehle kabhi is tarah dekhi hi nahi thi. Ek ajeeb sa ehsaas tha—na poori tarah galat, na poori tarah theek.
Maa boli,
“Raju, khaana laga doon? Thak gaye hoge… aa jao.”
Uski awaaz bilkul waise hi thi—shaant, sambhali hui, jaise shaam ko Mela mein kuch hua hi na ho. Main dheere se uth kar dining table ke paas aaya.
Maine casual sa poocha,
“Mela kaisa tha, Maa? Kuch liya-liya kya?”
Woh ek pal ko rukki, phir bilkul seedhi si shakal bana kar boli,
“Arey nahi Raju… kuch khaas tha hi nahi. Sab cheezein itni mehengi thi. Main toh jaldi hi wapas aa gayi.”
Main use dekh kar bas halka sa muskura diya.
Mujhe pata tha yah jhoot hai. Lekin samajh sakta tha ki maa aisi baat mujhe kaise bolti.
Par jaise-jaise woh mere saamne thali rakhti, meri nazar us par tikti ja rahi thi—bina mere control ke.
Uski sari ka pallu halkasa sarak kar kamar ke paas aa gaya tha. Uski gori jishm par rasoi ki halka sa chamak. Woh bilkul simple thi, par aaj mere liye kuch aur hi lag rahi thi.
Pehle main maa ko ek seedhi-saadhi aurat samajhta tha… par ab pata nahi kyun, aankhen uske har curve, har movement ko follow kar rahi thi.
Jab woh jhuk kar subzi rakh rahi thi, uski kamar ki soft si line dikhi—aur ek ajeeb si garmi mere andar se uthi. Main turant nazar hata le raha tha… par nazar wapas khud hi us taraf chali jaati.
Maa bilkul normal behave kar rahi thi,
“Lo Raju, garam chapati le lo… warna thandi ho jayegi.”
Woh kya bol rahi thi, kya karti thi—sab normal.
Par mera dimaag normal nahi tha.
Jaise Mela wali shaam ne mere andar kuch palat diya ho.
Main bas chupchaap khaana khata raha… aur uski ek ek harkat ko mehsoos karta raha.
Agle kuch din normal tareeke se guzar gaye.
Maine maa ko us number se dobara call nahi kiya. Socha, maa ko apni galti ka ehsas ho gaya hoga, isliye maine maa ko maaf kar diya.
Hamara har din, har routine—bilkul waise hi jaa raha tha jaise pehle.
Par andar… ek ajeeb si feeling din‑ba‑din badh rahi thi.
Ek halki curiosity, ek nayi tension… jo main khud samajh nahi pa raha tha.
Ush gaon ki raat maa aur Sunil bhai ki… aur Mela pe jo maine kiya…
yeh sab main bhoolne ki koshish kar raha tha.
Bas, Maa ko uski galti ki seekh mil gayi, aur sab theek hai. Main soch raha tha,
Phir Kuch din baad, main market mein Maa ke saath tha. Humne ghar ke liye kuch cheezein aur thoda sa grocery kharida. Phir Maa ne bola ki unhe tailor ke paas jaana hai, kyunki kuch din pehle unhone ek blouse silwane ke liye diya tha.
Mujhe bhi yaad aaya ki mujhe mere new college ke liye kuch samaan lena hai. Isliye Maa akeli tailor ki dukaan par gayi, aur main apne samaan ke liye doosri gali mein chala gaya.
Paas hi ki ek dukaan par mujhe mera samaan mil gaya, to main wapas tailor ki dukaan par gaya, socha Maa wahin hogi.
Tailor ka naam Usman tha, 30 saal ka aadmi. Main market me apna kaam khatam kar ke
maa ko dhundte hue purani gali me pohoncha.
Gali thodi patli thi, dono taraf purani dukanein,
Beech me chhoti si tailor shop—Ushman Tailors.
Jaise hi main shop ke paas aaya,
andar se ek ajeeb si hansi ki awaaz aayi—
hansi ke saath ek halka sa sharmaana mix tha.
“Bhaiya, aap bhi na… itni chhoti size ki bana di,”
Maa ki awaaz thi.
Main ek pal ke liye ruk gaya.
Kuch… galat nahin, par ajeeb laga.
Mann hua ki main bahar hi ruk jaaun.
Darwaaza aadha khula tha,
to main dheere se side mein khada ho gaya
aur us chhote se gap se andar jhaankne laga.
Maa ek laal rang ka blouse haath mein liye khadi thi,
aur Ushman ko bol rahi thi:
“Bhaiya, aapne size chhoti kar di. Fit nahi hogi.”
Ushman hasa aur bola:
“Arre bhabhi, aaj-kal yahi fashion hai.
Lekin shayad aap thodi… healthy ho gayi ho, isliye tight lag raha hoga.”
Maa ne halki si sharmai hui hansi mein jawab diya:
“Bhaiya… kahan se moti ho gayi main?”
Ushman phir bola:
“Theek hai bhabhiji, main measure leke dikha deta hoon
ki blouse sahi fit hai.”
Woh measuring tape uthakar
Maa kea fitting check karne laga,
“Seedhi khadi ho jao bhabhi,
warna galat jagah naap aa jayega.
Dekho na, pehle patli thi… ab thodi bhar gayi ho bas.”
Maa ne sirf halka sa muskurate hue kaha:
“Haan haan… aap bhi na.”
Main us gap se dekh raha tha.
Ushman tape shoulder, kabhi pith to kabhi chest pe leke measure kar raha tha,
aur Maa chup-chaap khadi thi—
na sharmate hue, na haste hue…
bas ek ajeeb sa calm expression.
Main samajh nahi pa raha tha
ki mujhe itna bechain kyun feel ho raha hai.
Jaise mere andar gussa bhi uth raha tha
aur ek ajeeb si garmiyat bhi.
Phir maine dekha… Ushman bina kuch bole achanak maa ki dudh ke upar par haath le gaya, maapne ke bahaane se halkasa masal diya bhi. Mere pair wahin jam gaye—yeh kya ho raha tha? Par Maa… woh toh bilkul shant, seedhi si khadi rahi. Aankhein halki si jhuka kar, sharmaahat aur ajeeb sa saath dene wala expression… jaise woh is sab mein khud bhi jaanti ho ki Ushman kya kar raha hai, aur phir bhi rokti nahi. Aur saamne Ushman ke chehre pe woh tharki bhari, chipkili hansi—jaise maa ke yeh saath dene se aur himmat aa gayi ho
Tabhi bahar road par kisi car ka horn zor se baj gaya.
Main bhi ekdam se jhatak utha,
aur andar Maa aur Ushman dono palat kar darwaaze ki taraf dekhne lage.
Ushman thoda peechhe hat gaya,
Maa ne jaldi se apni sari adjust kari
aur boli:
“Bhaiya, blouse pack kar do.”
Ushman ne blouse pack kar diya
aur Maa bahar aa gayi. Mujhe kuch boli nahi aur aakhe bhi mere se chupa rahi thi.
Magar jo maine dekha…
usse mera woh shaant hua gussa
phir se ubharne laga.
Aur saath hi ek alag si feeling—
ek attraction… ek khichav—
mere andar aur gehra hota gaya