Update-9
Maa ki baahon ka sparsh ab bhi mujhe jakde hue tha, unki siskiyon ki dheemi awaaz kamre mein goonj rahi thi. Maine apna bag table par rakha aur kursi par baith gaya, par dil mein ek toofan ab bhi tha—gussa aur pyar ke beech ek ladai si chal rahi thi. Naa ne mujhe dheere se chhoda, par unki aankhein ab bhi mujh par tiki thi, aansuon se bhari, par ek chhoti si ummeed ke sath chamakti hui. Unhone apna haath meri baah par rakha, aur woh naram sparsh ek ajeeb si shanti de raha tha, jaise koi purana bandhan dheere-dheere wapas jod raha ho.
Maine unki aankhon mein dekha, aur chup rahakoi shabd nahi, koi jawab nahi. Par main ruk gaya tha, unki kahani sunne ke liye. Ya yun kahoon ke apne sawalo ka jawaab dhundne ke liye.
Komal: (dheeme se, awaaz mein ek chhupa sa dukh) Sujay… main janti hoon tumhe mera chhodkar jana samajh nahi aaya. (unhone ek lambi saans li, jaise apne dard ko sambhal rahi hon) Main tumhe batana chahti hoon… meri wajah, meri kahani. (unki aankhein nam, par awaaz mein ek vishwas) Shayad tum mujhe kabhi maaf nahi kar paoge, par main tumhe apna sach batana chahti hoon.
Unhone apna haath meri baah se hataya aur kursi par baith gayi, meri taraf dekhte hue. Kamre ka sannata ab unki awaaz se bhar gaya, aur har shabd unke dil se nikal raha tha, jaise ek purani kitaab ke panno ko khola ja raha ho.
Maa: (tooti hui awaaz mein) Main jab jawan thi, Sujay, mere dil mein ek toofan sa tha. (unhone apni aankhein jhukayi, jaise yaad se lad rahi hon) Main ek writer banna chahti thi—travel writer. Duniya dekhna, har kone ki kahaniyaan sunna, unhe apne shabdon mein piro kar duniya ke samne laana. Yeh mera sapna tha, meri saans thi. Par… (unki awaaz kamp gayi) jab maine tumhe janam diya, sab badal gaya. Tum meri duniya ban gaye, Sujay. Tumhari woh chhoti si muskurahat, woh chhote se haath jo mere chehre ko chhute the—woh meri zindagi ka sabse bada khazana tha.
Unhone ek pal ke liye rukkar apni aankhein ponchhi, par aansu phir bhi beh rahe the. Maine unki taraf dekha, par chup raha. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi—unki baatein mujhe chhoo rahi thi, par gussa ab bhi mujhe rok raha tha.
Maa: (dheeme se, dard bhari awaaz mein) Par woh sapna… woh toofan mujhe kheenchta raha. Main sochti thi, agar main apne sapne poore kar loon, toh tumhe ek behtar zindagi de paungi. Ek aisi maa banungi jo na sirf tumhe pyar de, balki tumhe ek badi duniya bhi dikha sake. (unki aankhein mujh par tiki) Par main galat thi, Sujay. Maine socha tha main tumhe apne sath le jaungi, par meri woh duniya—woh safar, woh akelapan—tumhare liye nahi tha. Tum chhote the, aur main… main nahi chahti thi ki tum meri wajah se kisi cheez se vanchit raho.
Unki awaaz mein ek aisi tabaahi thi jo mere dil ke kone mein chhup gaya. Woh apne haathon ko dekhti rahi, jaise unmein apni galtiyon ka bojh dhoondh rahi ho. Maine apni aankhein jhukayi, par chup raha—unki kahani mujhe kheench rahi thi, par mera gussa ab bhi mujhe bolne se rok raha tha.
Maa- (siskiyon ke beech) Maine tumhe chhod diya, Sujay, kyunki maine socha tumhare pitaji tumhe woh sukoon, woh ghar denge jo main nahi de sakti thi. (unhone meri taraf dekha, unki aankhein ek maafi ki guzarish si) Par har safar mein, har shehar mein, har kahani mein, tum mere sath the. Main likhti thi, par har shabd mein tumhara chehra dikhta tha.
Maa- main hamesha chahti thi ki hamara parivaar hamesha ek saath rahe. Hum sab ek saath rahe. Par Mera junoon hume apni se hi door kar raha tha. Mere sapno ke karan tumhare pitaji aur mujhme hamesha jhagde hote rahe. Aur ek aisa din aaya, wo din jab maine tumhare pitaji ko chodna chaha. Mujhe lagaa main tumhe lekar jaaungi. Par tumhare pitaji yeh nahi chahte the. Unhe hamesha yahi lagta ki main apne junoon ke karan tumhe wo wakt nahi de paaungi, wo samay nahi de paaungi. Shayad wo sach the. Har bite din ke saath main sabkuch bhulne lagi. Mai tumhe aur pitaji ko bhi bhulne lagi. Kuch saalo baad mere maa baap bhi nahi rahe. Main aur akele ho gayi.
Unki aawaz ab aur gahri aur dukhi ho rahi thi. Unki aankhe har shabd ke baad aur nam hoti jaa rahi thi.
Maa- jab main apne sapno ke shikhar pahunchi tab maine dekha ki ab mere saath koi nahi hai. Nahi mujhe prashansa karne wala na gussa karne wala aur nahi mujhse pyaar karne wala mere saath koi nahi tha. Main bas akeli thi. Apne hi is anjaan safar par.
Pichle saal travelling ke dauran meri tabiyat aur kharab Hogayi thi. Aisa laga maano ab sabkuch chut raha hai. Us wakt maine tumhare pitaji se sampark kiya. Ye unki acchai thi ki wo mujhse Milne aaye. Tab pahli baar maine tumhari photos dekhi. Ek pal ke liye Aisa laga ki ab sabkuch badal gaya hai. Wakt kaafi choot gaya hai. Maine unse kaha ki main tumse milna chahti hoon. Par unhone ye kahakar mana Kiya ki tum mujhe dekhkar aur naaraz ho jaaoge. Aur ye nahi chahte. Uske baad main unse kabhi kabhi phone par baat Kiya karti. Wo meri Kai minnato ke baad Maan Gaye the ki main wapas is parivaar ka hissa ban sakti hoon. Lekin tabtak wakt ho chuka tha. Tumhare pitaji....
Aur wo rone lagi. Maa ki har baat me ek gehara sach tha.ek gehara dukh tha.
Maa ki siskiyan kamre mein goonj rahi thi, aur unki har baat, har aansu, mere dil ke andar ek tees si utaar raha tha. Unki awaaz, ek tooti hui fariyad si, mere gusse aur dard ke darwaze khatkhatati rahi, par main chup raha. Unki kahani—unka junoon, unka akelapan, unka toota hua sapna—mere dil ke andar ek aag si laga raha tha. Woh aag jo gusse, dukh, aur ek chhupe se pyar ke beech jalta tha. Maine apni aankhein jhukayi, par unki baatein, unki woh siskiyan, mujhe ek aise mod par le aayi jahan main apne khud ke emotions se lad raha tha. Unki kahani ka har shabd mere dil mein ek sawaal utha raha tha—kyun? Kyun unhone mujhe chhoda? Kyun unhone apne sapno ko mujhse bada samjha? Par uske sath ek ajeeb sa sukoon bhi tha, jaise unki baatein mere dard ke kone ko chhoo rahi hon.
Maine unki taraf dekha, unka chehra aansuon se bhara hua tha, par unki aankhein mujh par tiki thi—ek maafi ki guzarish, ek pyar jo saalon ke dard ke bawajood ab bhi zinda tha. Unki awaaz jab ruki, jab unhone pitaji ka zikr kiya aur phir se rone lagi, mere dil mein ek toofan sa utha. Gussa ab bhi tha—woh dard jo unhone mujhe chhodkar diya, woh sawaal jo main kabhi pooch nahi paya. Par unki siskiyon mein ek sach tha, ek aisa dard jo shayad mera bhi tha. Maine apne haathon ko dekha, jo ab tak kursi ke haathon ko kaske pakde hue the, jaise main apne emotions ko sambhalne ki koshish kar raha hoon.
Dil mein ek ladai si chal rahi thi. Ek taraf gussa tha—woh bacchpan ke din jab main unki god mein sota tha, woh raatein jab main unke liye ruka karta tha, par woh nahi aayi. Woh sawaal jo maine apne aap se barson poochhe— Unki aankhein, jo mujh par tiki thi, ek aisi mamta se bhari thi jo mere gusse ko dheere-dheere pighla rahi thi. Par main chup raha. Na maine kuch kaha, na unki taraf dekha. Mera dil ab bhi us toofan mein uljha hua tha—gussa, dukh, aur ek chhupa sa pyar jo main thukrana chahta tha, par jo mujhe kheench raha tha.
Maine ek lambi saans li, aur apni aankhein band kar li. Unki siskiyan ab bhi goonj rahi thi, aur har siski mere dil ke andar ek tees si utaar rahi thi. Maine socha—kya yeh sach hai? Kya unka dard, unka akelapan, unki maafi, mere gusse se bada hai? Pitaji ka zikr, unka woh kehna ki woh mujhse milna chahti thi, par pitaji ne mana kiya—yeh sab mere dil mein ek ajeeb si halchal macha raha tha. Maine apne pitaji ke chehre ko yaad kiya, unki woh shanti, unka woh pyar jo unhone mujhe diya, aur phir unka woh chhodkar jana. Aur ab Komal—meri maa—jo yahan mere samne baithi thi, apne dard ko mere samne khol rahi thi. Dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini thi—main unhe maaf karna chahta tha, par gussa ab bhi mujhe rok raha tha.
Maine apna sar jhukaya, aur kursi par thoda sa jhuk gaya, jaise apne emotions ke bojh ko sambhal raha hoon. Unki kahani mere dil ke andar ek kahani si ban rahi thi—ek aisi kahani jismein main bhi tha, par jise main samajh nahi pa raha tha. Unki siskiyan dheemi ho rahi thi, par kamre ka sannata ab bhi mere kaano mein goonj raha tha. Maine apni aankhein kholi, par unki taraf nahi dekha. Mera dil ab bhi gusse aur pyar ke beech jhool raha tha, par main ruk gaya tha—unki kahani ke sath, unke dard ke sath. Par main chup raha. Na maine kuch kaha, na unhe wapas dekha. Kamre mein wohi sannata tha, aur mera dil ek naye safar ke shuruaat par khada tha, par ab bhi ek deewar si thi jo mujhe aage badhne se rok rahi thi. Lekin wo diwar mujhe jada der tak rok nahi paayi.
kuch tha jo mujhe rok nahi paya. Unki siskiyan, unki woh pukaar, mere dil ke andar ek aisi taakat jagayi jo mere gusse se bhi badi thi. Na chahte hue bhi, main apni kursi se uth gaya. Mera dil ab bhi gusse aur pyar ke beech jhool raha tha, par mere pair unki taraf badh gaye, jaise koi purana bandhan mujhe kheench raha ho. Maine unki taraf dekha—unki aankhein band, chehra aansuon se bheega hua, par ek ajeeb si chamak unke chehre par thi, jaise woh apni poori duniya mujhe de dena chahti hon. Main unke kareeb gaya, aur dheere se apne haathon ko unke chehre ki taraf badhaya.
Jaise hi mere haath unke gaalon ko chhuye, ek ajeeb si thandak mere andar fail gayi. Unka chehra—naram, mulayam, jaise koi reshmi parda jo saalon ke dard ke bawajood apni roshni nahi khoya. Unke gaal, aansuon se bhege hue, itne saaf aur komal the, jaise koi phool jo baarish ke baad bhi apni khushboo sambhale hue ho. Maine apni ungliyon se unke aansu ponchhe, aur woh sparsh, woh garmi, mere dil ke har kone ko chhoo gayi. Unke chehre par ek ajeeb si shanti thi, jaise mere haathon ka sparsh unke dard ko ek pal ke liye mita raha ho. Unki aankhein ab bhi band thi, par unke hothon par ek halki si muskurahat thi, jaise woh mere sparsh mein apna khoya hua sukoon dhoondh rahi hon.
Maine dheere-dheere unke aansu ponchhe, meri ungliyan unke gaalon par phisalti hui, har aansu ke sath unka dard mere andar utarta gaya. Unka chehra, woh mulayam gaal, ek aisi kahani ke jaisa tha jo saalon se chhupi hui thi—ek maa ka pyar, ek aurat ka dard, ek sapne ka toofan. Mere haath unke chehre par ruke, aur ek pal ke liye laga jaise waqt tham sa gaya. Unki sanson ki garmi mere haathon par mehsus ho rahi thi, aur woh naram sparsh, jaise koi purana geet, mere dil ke taaron ko chhoo raha tha. Unke chehre ki woh chamak, woh mulayam roshni, mujhe ek aise sukoon mein le gayi jahan gussa aur dard dheeme pad gaye. Par main chup raha—na maine kuch kaha, na unki aankhon mein dekha. Mera dil ab bhi us toofan mein uljha hua tha, par unke chehre ka woh sparsh, unke gaalon ki woh narmi, mujhe ek naye bandhan ki shuruaat ki taraf kheench raha tha.
Maa: (siskiyon ke beech, awaaz toot-ti hui) Sujay… (unhone apni aankhein kholi, aur unki nam aankhein mujh par tiki) bas ye itni baat bhi mujhe jeene ki wajah de raha hai. Bas yeh hi kaafi hai, Sujay… bas yeh hi.
Unhone apna haath mere haath par rakha, aur woh sparsh—naram, garam, aur pyar se bhara—mere dil ke andar ek ajeeb si roshni jaga gaya. Unki aankhein mujh par tiki thi, aansuon se bhari, par ek chhoti si muskurahat ke sath, jaise woh mere haathon mein apna saara dard, saara pyar samet dena chahti hon. Kamre mein sannata tha, sirf unki siskiyon ki dheemi awaaz goonj rahi thi. Maine apne haathon ko unke chehre par rakha, unke aansu ponchte hue, par chup raha. Mera dil gusse aur pyar ke beech jhool raha tha, par unke chehre ka woh mulayam sparsh, unke gaalon ki woh narmi, mujhe ek aise safar par le ja raha tha jahan shayad ek din yeh gussa pighal jayega.
Maa- kya tumne mujhe maaf Kiya sujay. Ya ...tum kuch aur janana chahte ho. Main har chiz ke liye taiyaar hoon. Main tum jo chaho wo bata sakti hoon. Tum jitni baar chaho utni baat maafi maang sakti hoon. Bas tum kaho sujay...
Main- m..main..
Main kuch kah nahi paa Raha tha. Main bilkul chup sa ho gaya tha. Samajh nahi aa raha tha ki main kya kahu. Ye aisa nahi hona chahiye tha. Bas ek pal me sabkuch thik kaise ho sakta hai.
Maa- Koi baat nahi, aur tumhe komal ji kahne ki jaroorat nahi hai. Agar tum komal bhi kaho to bhi mujhe accha lagega sujay.
Maine bas apna Sir hilaya aur hatgaya. Main wapas apne chair par aa baitha. Maa ke chahre par halki si Khushi thi. Maano unke man ka ek bahot bada bojh thoda khaali hua tha.
Ab kuch der ke liye sabkuch khamosh sa hogaya. Maa jaanti thi ki is samay main kuch nahi kahunga.
Maa- kaafi samay hogaya hai. Main bhi kitni ajib hoon. Main tumhe khane ke liye pucha tak nahi. Main kuch bana deti hoon. Ya tum batao tumhe kya pasand hai.
Unhone muskurate hue pucha.
Main- nahi, aisa kuch nahi. Aap jo chahe wo bana dijiye.
Maa- thik hai sujay.
Ab maa kitchen ki taraf jaa hi Rahi thi lekin mujhe kuch sawaal puchana tha.
Main- Kya..yaha..
Maa- kya??
Main- Kya aapke paas aisi aur bhi photos hai.
Main un photos ki baat kar raha tha jo mere bachpan ki aur maa ki photo thi aur saath me pitaji ki thi.
Maa- haa, main yahi kahi wo album rakhi hogi.
Maa use bahot dhyaan se dhund rahi thi maano wo unka koi lakshya ho. Unhe cupboard ke ek kone me wo family album Mila. Maa mere paas aati aur album ko dikhane lagi. Unme shuruwat me mere maa ke maa baap, unke pariwar ke kuch aur sadasya the. Kuch photos ke baad waha hamare Ghar ke photos thi. Wo mujhe dikha rahi thi, unke chahre ki taraf main dekh raha tha. Unke chehare ke bhaav ko bahot hi khush lag rahe the. Wo har ek photo ko mujhe samjha Rahi thi. Shayad mera pet bhuk ke karan gurha raha tha. Maa ka dhyan achanak us aawaz par chala gaya.
Maa- main bhool hi gayi. Ye tum sab dekhlo. Main jaakar khana banati hoon.
Main- haa..
Wo chali gayi, main ek ek photo dekhne laga..Ek tasveer mein Maa, shayad bees-baarah saal ki, ek chhoti si cycle par baithi hui thi, unki aankhon mein wahi toofan jo unhone apni kahani mein bataya. Maine dheere se un tasveeron ko chhua, jaise unke sapne mere haathon mein aa rahe hon. Phir aayi hamare parivaar ki tasveerein—main, ek chhota sa baccha, Maa ki god mein, unki baahon mein chipka hua. Unki muskurahat itni roshni se bhari thi, jaise woh meri poori duniya ho. Ek tasveer mein pitaji bhi the, mujhe kandhe par uthaye, aur Maa unke bagal mein, ek chhoti si hansi ke sath. Yeh woh din the jab sab kuch thik tha—ek parivaar, ek ghar, ek pyar jo ab sirf yaadon mein reh gaya.
Maine agla panna palta, aur wahan se tasveerein badal gayi. Maa ke safar ki tasveerein shuru ho gayi, gaon ke chhote se ghar, samundar ke kinaare ek akeli si chhaya, aur ek tasveer mein Maa, ek purani si diary haath mein liye, ek pahad par baithi hui. Unki aankhein door kahin dekhti hui, jaise woh apne sapno ke pichhe bhaag rahi hon. Har tasveer mein unka akelapan saaf dikh raha tha—ek writer ka junoon, par uske sath ek chhupa sa dukh. Maine un tasveeron ko dekha, aur dil mein ek ajeeb si bechaini jagi. Yeh woh Maa thi jo apne sapno ke liye sab chhod gayi, par in tasveeron mein bhi kahin na kahin meri yaad thi—ek chhoti si tasveer, jo unhone apne bag mein rakhi thi, jismein main unki god mein tha.
Phir, album ke aakhiri hisse mein, ek folder tha, stapled hua, jaise koi chhupa hua raaz. Maine dheere se us folder ko khola, stapler ke chhote se pin ko nikaala, aur andar ka raaz mere samne aane ke liye tayyar tha. Par wo Raaz nahi wo ek khoobsurati thi jise dekh main hairan ho gaya ya yu kahun ki Mohit ho gaya.
End of update 9
