Update 5
Maine us raat dusri bar vi muth mara aur sach kahu to pehele se vi wo majedar raha kyu ki dusribar maine khud par kabu pa liya tha. Jav josh had se bahar jane lagta toh main lund aahista se hilata ya ruk jata tha aur kuch der ke liye lambi sans leke fekta tha jese ki Ramdev ki yoga kiya ho aatmaniyantran ke liye. Fir jav hosh samhalta toh fir lund hilana chalu karta tha. Pehele muth marne se nikla pani dekh ke yesa laga tha mera jism pani se khali huwi ho par khel lamba honese lund ne peheli bar se vi jyada pani ek kattha karke nikal liya, achha huwa ki maine purani towel bistar me pura faila diya tha nai toh do bar ki barish se pura bistar gandha ho jata tha. Usbar jhadne ki baat main kamjor pada magar ishbar mujhe pehele jesi paap bodh nai huwa balki santosh aur shanti se meri dil me mithi mithi khayal aane lage.
Dusra subah vi aam subah ki tarah samanya raha bas farak itan hi tha ki main maa ko najar chura churake dikhne laga tha. Khane ke bad subah main ghar se nikla lekin main nahi juwe adde me gaya nahi kisi dost yar ke sath. Main gaon ki uche pahad ek badi pathar me bitha aur niche sunsan dur ki dusre gaon dikhne laga. Chidiya ki Madhur aawaje aur hawa ki sarsarahat ek ajib si ehesa dilaya jese ki meri punarjanm huwa ho aur mujhe nayee anuvuti mili ho.Thandi hawa ne mere gaal me dhimi se thappad mara, maine ek ciggerate nikala aur dhuwe khichne laga. Akela rehena kitna udasin baat tha mere liye par av akele rehene se vi mujhe utsah mil raha tha.
Kafi samay woha bitane ke bad main ghar me laut chala. Aaj pitaji ghar me the par maa nahi thi, wo kahi kheti ke kaam ke madad karne chali gayee thi. Mujhe dikhtehi pita ji ne haklate kaha "Pese khatam huwa kya?". Sawal vi inki to apni nahi hoti thi. Woh maa ki tarah hi nakkal kar rahe the, kyu ki maa vi dopahar me mujhe ghar me dikhti toh hamesa yehi keheti thi. Main chupchap apne kamare me chala gaya.
Saam ko maa ghar me aayee toh main unhe dikh kar muskuraya par unhone ghusse wali chehera banate kaha "peso ki baat to kariyo mat". Dusri din vi yesa hi raha aur tisri din vi. Yeh do/char din me raste par mera dost vi mile aur wo vi pareshan hokar kehene lage "tujhe huwa kya hai?" Kuch dost to kehene lage "ish tarah gumsum rehene lagega toh ya tu jogi banega nahi to pagal jarur."
Dost mujh se naraj the kyu ki main un logon se anadekha kar raha tha. Unki baat kuch had tak sahi vi tha puri hapte maine yu hi kuch khas kiye begar gujar diya tha kisi tapaswi ki tarah baithe baithe. Magar yeh samaya mere jiwan ke liye ek pul ki tarah sabit hogaya. Ek mod se dusri mod par pahuchne ke liye bich me sayad yesi akele hi soch aur dhyan ki jaruri thi.
Puri hapte ke bad meri badan me nayee josh jagar aane lagi aur main fir gaon me majduri karne par laga. Dusri hapte ke bad toh maa ne vi bahut pyar se kahi "mujhe malum tha mera beta ek din khud samajhdar hoga". Na ganja na daru na juwe na hi behude dost ki sangat, Main agar ek din majduri karta toh main us din ke bad ki do char din usi pese ko udane pe lag jata tha. Maa ko toh lagna hi tha ki main sudhar gaya par mujhe jo utsaha aur urja mil rahe the uski karan sirf aur sirf wo khud thi. Na ganja na daru nahi Juwe ki lat mujhe ish tarah bas me karsakta tha jish tarah unhone kiya tha. Din var jitney vi kaam karu raat to bahut khas hoti thi. Main raat ko nanga hokar lund hilate bas maa ko hi yaad karta tha. Av main apna kalpanik duniya aur asali duniya ki bich pul bana ja raha tha. Meri mihenat ek suruwat thi. Jav lund hath me ho to asali duniya se main jhapak se kalpanik duniya me pahuch jata tha. Av toh mere pass kuch pese vi the toh mera kalpanik masti ka dayara vi badne laga tha. "maa ko lekar unke liye shopping jana, maa ko lekar film dekhna chalejana, maa ko lekar fun park jana, maa ko lekar kahi dur ghumne chale jana aur kisi bahane kisi tarah,kisi jagah unhe kavi godh me rakh ke,kavi godh me uthake,kavi ghodi banake aur kavi dono hi paer kandhe me uthake yesi yesi gandhi aasan me unki leta tha jitna aasan kaamsastra me ullekh kiya na ho ". Unki wo badi badi makul dudh ko dil var ke daba daba ke chusna,unki wo gadrayee huwi gand ki khubsurati ko dil var ke nangi dikhna aur uski chummi lena,unki wo yoni..mera ro ro khada hoja ta tha aur lund to majbur hone lagta tha toh fir Mujhe bar bar rokna padta tha.
Pata nai kalpanik duniya me meri yeh haal horahi hai to yeh nischit tha ki main agar maa ko nangi dekhta vi jhad jata tha. Ek bar unhe manmoji karte huwe dikhne se mera pura jiwan badal gaya tha pata nai agar unko nibastra dikhunga to kya hoga meri jiwan ka!
Bete hone ki taur pe maa ke sath sambhog ko lekar mera kalpanik duniya asamvav lagta tha magar jis samajhdar bete ne apni khubsurat maa ko manmoji karti dekhe ho wo aasani se aasha karsakta hai ki uski kalpanik duniya aur asali duniya me bas ek patali rekha hai. Kya pata kahi unhe vi unki maa ki kalpanik duniya me apna jagah miljaye.