Update 7
Kuch sayamy yu hi nikal gaya. Pata nai unki dil me kya biti ho par mera andar ki yeh dharti-aakash ki badlav mujhe hi chaukane lage the. Ek samay tha, mujhe sav kuch bekar lagte the. Main Jayda to jyada samay yese chiz me lagata tha jo mujhe yeh duniya aur duniyadari vula sake. Juwe ne isme mujhe kafi madad ki. Jav main juwa khelta toh mere dhyan pura usme hi lagta tha kyu ki hum jitney ke liye juwe khilte hai, par jyadatar main haar hi jata tha. Behuda jiwan ki chinta se behatar to mujhe juwe ki patte se harne ka chinta hi thik lagti thi kamse kam fir khelne ke liye hi sahi pesa kamane ki utsah milti thi. Aur ganja,daru,hookah jesi naso mere liye jadu ki tarah kaam karte the. "haa jiwan arthahin hai" baat to yehi thi par jav nase me hota toh mujhe yeh sochkar aur santi milti thi jeseki yese arthahin jiwan ki chinta lena aur vi arthahin hai, bas maza leni chahiye. Par nase ki asar jese ki puri utargayee ho fir aur wohi chinta, main kaisa behude tarike se jiwan ko barbad kar raha hu.
Mujhe kya kami tha,mera Parivar vi utna gariv nai tha, main dikhne me vi thikthak tha, aur saririk hisav se toh main school me vi aksar khelkud me jita karta tha, meri padai vi gaon ke ladko ki tarah thikthak hi tha fir kyu yesi nirasa aur aadate! Woh gaanvale bilkul hi niras jiwan ji rahte the, dinvar kheti kisani karo, sadi karo bacha paida karo fir bache ki sadi karao aur mujhe vi laga mujhe vi yese hi jiwan jina hai sayad isliye main niras tha. Maine kaivar apne dil ko vi sawal kiya aakhir sav log yese hi jiwan ji rahe hai toh mujhe hi kyu taklif hai! Yese sawal ki jawaf nahi dil ki pash thi nahi dimag ke pash toh akela bethna mere liye aur taklif hojata tha. Jitne hosake samay dosti yari me bitao,Badmashi karo, dhuwe udao,juwe me dhyan do,kuch kaam karo taki pese ko jugad ho jaye jiwan ko dhuwe me udane ke liye jiwan ko juwe ki khel banane ki liye. Wakehi main bilkul arthahin jiwan ji raha tha isliye vi mujhe nase me rehena hi bahut achha lagta tha kyu ki mujhe jiwan dhuwe me hi spasta lagta tha. Main hamesa bhitri hridaya se bahut dukhi raha jese ki mere sath kisine ghor nainsafi kiya ho yese niras jiwan jine ke liye koi mujhe majbur kar rahe ho. Dil me ajeeb sa sonapan tha ajeeb sa udasinta tha.
Av mera haal kuch aur tha, andar ek ajib sa raunak mil raha tha. Jiwan ek upahar ki tarah lag raha tha. Log duniya pyara kathputali ki tarah lag rahe the jo kisi ek ki isare me sundar naach nache ho. Sav log jante hai juwe me bas jeet hi hota toh kaun majduri karta hoga! Sav log jante hai agar hum hosh me rehena pasand karte hai to nase ka kya kaam hoga! Ghar hi swarga lage to koi kyu fajul me bahar ghumna pasand karega. Choti choti chij me badi khusiya milne laga tha. Jese kisine mujhe jiwan jine ki avasar diya ho. Dil me ajeeb sa raunak tha ajeeb sa khusi tha.
Woh ek hi jiwan ke liye aur ek hi chij ke liye ishtarah ki bilkul alag nayee anuvuti aur soch ki suruwat ki jad maa hi thi av yeh Silsila ban chuka tha. Dil ki chahat ke bareme batein aankhon hi aankhon me humari bich ki khamosi hi karne lagi thi jese ki khamosi ki vi apni zubaan ho.
"Vinod sudhar gaya" gaon walo vi kehene lag chuke the. Av toh gaon me koi kisi ko majdur ki aabasek ho toh mujhe bulane lage. Chahe kheti ki kaam se ho ya aur koi dusri muskile majdur wali kaam ho, main hi unka pehela chayan hone laga, log meri uchai aur tagat dikh ke mujhe pahalwan vi kehene lage the halaki mera badan pahalwan ki tarah utna sudol aur bhari nahi tha. Ramu chacha aksar mere tarif karke thak nai jate the aur woh mujhe apne ghar ki kheti ki kaam par hamesa bulaya karte the. Unke sath jyadatar kaam me honese meri soch vi kafi majbut hone lage the. Maa vi mere paripakwata se gyaat ho chuki th. Maa din din aur pyari lagne lagi thi. Unki badan ish tarah khil raha tha ki jese agar koi ful hoti toh mali jarur tod leta tha. Gol matol mast chuchi, badi badi janghe, mast gadrayee huwee gand aur chehera ki wo chamak vi khuleaam kisiko aamantaran kar rahi thi. Itni khubsurat aurat pitaji ko toh kya achhe khase mardo ki hath vi nai aasakti thi. Sav ko pata tha anath thi isliye pitaji se woh kali ne phul banke khilne se pehele hi sadi ki thi, agar maa avi vi swaymber ke liye tayar hoti toh duniya ke sav mard unhe pane ke khatir apna parakram dikhane ke liye tayar honge. Yeh meri nasib thi meri khubsurat maa mujhe apne ghar me phul banker khili yesi mahol pe mili jiska mali unhe vul chuka tha. Magar dusre ke liye toh woh bahut hi kathin jagah me khili bahut khubsurat phool thi, jiska mali vi koi aur tha aur baag vi kisi aur ka. Humare riste hi humko najdik karwa raha tha, ek hi chhat ki niche hona, hi savse kayede ki baat thi magar savse badi vada vi humara riste hi ho raha tha agar riste bich me nahoti humari bich avtak samhog ho chuki hoti.