agli subha meri herat ki inteha na rahi jab koi mujhay nashtay k liye bulanay nahi aaya.
MEHREEN aapi aur NOREEN aapi ka to main samajh sakta tha k shayed neend poori na honay ki waja se ab tak so rahi hon. magar AMBREEN aur SAMREEN ko kia hua. aik bar bhi mere kamray main kisi ne jhanka tak nahi? aakhir hua kia hai?
pata nahi kia baat thi. bahar haal sab ka saamna to karna hi tha. main ne uth k bath liya aur kapray tabdeel kar k nashtay k liye khanay k kamray main pohanch gaya jahan ammi abbu k ilawa AMBREEN aur SAMREEN bhi mojood theen. mere chand ka jawab sirf
ammi abbu ne hi diya. AMBREEN aur SAMREEN ne to mujhay nigah utha k dekha tak nahi. shayed kisi baat pe wo mujh se naraz ho gayi theen. magar kis baat pe? unhe meri konsi baat itni buri lagi k wo meri taraf dekhna bhi nahi chahteen? kahin unhe kuch
pata to nahi chal gaya?
andar hi andar pareshan hota main un ki narazgi k mukhtalif asbab sochta raha aur chup chap nashta khatam kar k uth gya. ab
mera rukh apney kamray ki taraf nahi balky AMBREEN aur SAMREEN k kamray ki taraf tha. har waqt aik doosri ka saya bani rehnay
wali wo jurwan behnen soti bhi aik hi kamray main theen. kaafi der tak main palang pe betha un dono ka intezar karta raha.
aakhir wo dono apney kamray ka darwaza khol k andar dakhil hueen to mujhay pehlay se mojood dekh k waheen ruk gayeen.
AMBREEN: aap shayed bhool rahay hain bhai. ye MEHREEN aapi ya NOREEN aapi ka kamra nahi hai. yahan hum dono hi hoti hain.
SAMREEN: shayed aap hamen raazdari ka waada yaad dilanay aaye hain. be fikar rahain hum kisi se kuch nahi kahen gi.
me: baat kia hai? kuch pata bhi to chalay k meri kis baat pe tum dono mujh se itni naraz ho?
meri baat sun k pehlay to wo dono mujhay ghussay se ghoorti raheen aur phir SAMREEN ne apney palang ki side table ki daraz se aik mini tape recorder nikal k play ka button dabatay huay tape recorder mere haath main thama diya aur phir kuch namanoos si awazon k baad MEHREEN aapi ki awaz sun k to mere hathon k totay ur gaye.
"bas karo AYAN. warna main khud pe ikhtiar kho bethoon gi. ab jao."
ye baat to unho ne kal raat hi mujh se kahi thi jab main un k kamray main tha. aur kia kar raha tha, ye mujhay yaad karnay ki zarurat hi nahi thi. yakeenan ye namanoos si awazen bhi isi doran record ho gayi theen. magar ye recording hui kaisay? kia in dono ko pehlay se mujh pe shak tha k main aisa karoon ga.
main abhi ye soch hi raha tha k AMBREEN ne aik doosra mini tape recorder mere hath main thama diya aur pehla mere hath se le
kar SAMREEN ko de diya.
aur ye to aap samajh hi gaye hon gay k is casette main kal raat ki meri aur NOREEN aapi ki baaten aur aawazen record theen.
sharmindagi aur ghabrahat se mere jisam se paseenay ki dhaarein phoot pareen aur hath paaon kanpnay lagay. main ne to apni taraf se har kisam ki ehtiat ki thi k kisi ko pata na chalay k main MEHREEN aapi aur phir NOREEN aapi k kamray main gaya tha.
magar shayed in dono ko pehlay se kuch shak ho gaya tha jo inho ne pehlay se hi intezamat kar rakhay thay. dono kamron main yakeenan pehlay se tape recorder chhupa diye gaye thay aur ab hamari pichhli raat ki karwaayi ka saboot mere hathon main tha.
SAMREEN: ab to aap ko pata chal hi gaya ho ga k baat kia hai?
AMBREEN: ye tape recorder hamen SABA aapi ne tohfay k tor pe diyey thay. hamen kia pata tha ye aisay kaam aayen gay.
ye kehtay huay AMBREEN ne mere kaanptay hathon se tape recorder le k band kar diya. aur ab main dartay huay dono ki taraf dekh raha tha k pata nahi ab mere sath kia salook ho ga. ye narazgi kia lambi chalay gi? ya phir ye maamla ammi abba k saamnay laya jaye ga? nahi.. ye nahi hona chahiye.
SAMREEN: main janti hoon aap ko hum pe zara sa bhi aitbar nahi hai. warna itni raazdari se ye maamlat na tay kiye jatay.
bahar haal. aap chahain to apney in karnamon k saboot apney hathon zaya kar saktay hain. hum ne ammi abbu ko sunanay k liye ye cassette record nahi kiyey thay. lekin agar aap ye cassette hum pe aitbar kartay huay hamen wapis kar den to yeh aap ka hum pe ehsaan ho ga. hamaray paas in k elawa aur koi cassette nahi hain.
me: (dartay dartay un dono ki taraf dekhtay huay) maafi ki koi surat nahi?
AMBREEN: aik shart pe maafi milay gi.
me: kia? jaldi bataao. main tum dono ki narazgi door karnay k liye kuch bhi karnay ko tayyar hoon.
AMBREEN: aap aaj sara din aur aaj ki sari raat hum dono k sath guzaren gay. MEHREEN aapi aur NOREEN aapi ki aaj chhutti.
me: (bokhla k palang se uth k khara hotay huay) tut.t.t. tum dono k sath matlab?
SAMREEN: matlab wo nahi hai jo aap samajh rahay hain. maana k hum bhi jawan ho chuki hain magar is jawani ne hamen itna tang nahi kia hua k khud ko plate main saja k aap ko pesh kar den. hamari bhi akhir kuch izzat e nafs hai.
me: chand k liye khul k bataao. main pareshan ho raha hoon.
AMBREEN: is pe aik sher arz karti hoon.
bitha k raat bhar pehlu main yaar ko ghalib jo log kuch nahi kartay wo kamal kartay hain
to aap ko aaj wohi kamal karna hai AMBREEN k muh se ghalib ka sher sun k mera muh khula ka khula reh gaya tha. SABA ne pakistan se aa k itna to bataya tha k meri charon behnen gaaon k girls high school main matric tak parhi hui hain magar itna nahi pata chal paya tha k itni mamooli taleem hasil karnay pe bhi in ka sheri zauq itna achha ho ga. ab tak kisi ne bhi apney andaz e guftugu se ye zahir nahi honay diya tha k inho ne thori bohat bhi taleem hasil kar rakhi hai, na kabhi kisi ne english ka koi lafz bola tha aur na hi aam guftugu main koi mushkil lafz istamal kiya tha, jis se main samajh pata k meri behne bhi thora bohat parhi likhi hain.
english k aam alfaz yani sorry, thank you waghera to aaj kal anparh log bhi bol letay hain, magar main ne ye alfaz bhi in charon k muh se ab tak nahi sunay thay. ye pehla moqa tha k in main se kisi ne mujhay apney thora bohat taleem yafta honay ko ehsas dilaya tha.
SAMREEN: itna heran kyun ho rahay hain? aap ko pata nahi k hum charon ne matric tak parha hai? abbu jan ne chahay phone ya khat main na bataya ho, SABA aapi ne to yahan se ja k bataya hi ho ga.
me: han shayed sarsari sa zikar hua tha. magar tum logon k muh se kabhi koi aisi baat hi nahi suni k main samajh pata k kisi parhay likhay shakhs se baat kar raha hoon.
AMBREEN: yani apni tehzeeb k dayray main rehna hi hamaray anparh honay ki daleel ban gaya. aap ko shayed pata nahi k abbu jan ki sakhti se takeed hai k ghar main english ka koi lafz na bola jaye. jab apni zuban main baat ki ja sakti hai to khamkhah muh terha karnay ki zarurat hi kia hai.
SAMREEN: in baaton main ulajh k aap asal baat se hat nahi saktay. aap ko waada karna ho ga k aaj ka pura din aur phir poori raat aap hum dono k sath guzaren gay.
SAMREEN ki dobara yad dehani pe main muskura diya. mozoo se hatna shayed usay achha nahi lag raha tha aur wo mujh se wada
lenay chahti thi.
me: theek hai janab. jaisa aap ka hukam. magar un dono ko batanay ki ijazat to hai na k aaj un k paas nahi aaon ga?
AMBREEN: (shahana andaz main gardan akra k) ijazat hai. magar koi ulti seedhi baat kehnay ki ijazat nahi hai. main nahi chahti wo dono hamen bhi jawan samajhna shuru kar den. bachay banay rehnay main bohat faaida hai.
main us ki baat sun k aik baar phir bokhla k reh gaya. yani wo jaan boojh k bachhi aur masoom bani rehti theen? agar aisa tha to waqaee ye dono bohat kamyab actresses theen. me: is ki tashreeh bhi kar do ab.
SAMREEN: koi khas maarfat ki baat to nahi hai jo samajh main na aaye. apni hum umar shadi shuda sahelion se un ki shadi shuda zindagi k ahwal sun k hum jaisi larkian anjan aur masoom to reh nahi sakti theen. magar chand ka shukar hai k nafs hamaray qabu main hai aur hamen tang nahi karta. hum ne khud ko zehni tor pe itna mazboot kar rakha hai k agar saari umar bhi kunwari rehna chahen to reh sakti hain. koi pareshani nahi ho gi hamen. bas hum yeh nahi chahteen k ghar walon ko hamari balooghat (maturity) ka ilam ho jaye aur log hum pe bhi taras khanay lagain k haye kitni khubsurat jawan larkian aur ye zulm, bechari shadi k bagher bethi hain.
me: chalo ye masoom banay rehnay ki acting to samajh aa gayi magar ye raat bhar pehlu main bithanay ka kia maqsad hai? ye bhi to samjha do yar.
AMBREEN: bas thori si dil pishori. chand chand kar k to aik handsom larka mila hai. thora dil hi behla len gay.
SAMREEN: haan waisay bhi hamen aap k laaye huay reshmi kapray pehan'nay k liye kisi moqay ka intizar hai. aap ko pehan k dikhayen gi to thori bohat tareef hi sun'nay ko mil jaye gi. agar zuban se tareef nahi karen gay to aankhen hi kuch na kuch keh den gi.
hamaray liye itna hi kaafi hai. bas isay jawani ka takaza samajhnay se parhez kijiye ga. bachion ko bhi achay kapray pehan k dikhanay ka shoq hota hai.
me: aur agar ... farz karo... agar mujh se in bachion ko jawan samajhnay ki bhool ho gayi to... waisay bhi reshmi kapron main larki ka figure kuch ziada hi sexy ho jata hai.
SAMREEN: isi moqa per to hum dono k ittefaq ki barkat kaam aaye gi. warna jahan wo dono aap k daam e ulfat ka shikar ho gayin, to hum masoom bachian kia hesiat rakhti hain.
me: yar do din se bachian samajh k hi to dil pe jabar kar raha hoon. ab agar tum log bhi dil pishori karna chahti to thori bohat aankhen senknay ka haq to mujhay bhi hona chahiye. waisay bhi ab tak main ne bachhi patanay ka tajarba nahi kia. jo mujh se meri bari behno ne karnay ko kaha, main ne kar diya. ab ek sath do bachhian patanay ka moqa mil raha hai to chance maar leney do. tum dono ka kia jaaye ga. bachhay ka dil hi khush ho jaye ga.
main jaan boojh k in dono se lofaron walay andaz main baat kar raha tha taakay meri is harkat pe ghabra k wo dono mujhay raat main bulanay ka irada tark kar den. magar wo dono bhi itni bholi nahi theen k meri chalaki na samajh pateen.
AMBREEN: agar aap apni hadd main rahain gay to jitna jee chahay chance mar len. hamen aitraz nahi ho ga.
SAMREEN: aur hadd se aagay barhnay ki tab tak koshish bhi mat kijiye ga jab tak hum khud aisa na chahain.
me: ab ye hadd bhi bata do k kahan tak ho gi. kahin be khabri main bachian hath se nikal hi na jayen.
AMBREEN: itnay nanhay kaakay (bachhay) nahi hain aap k aap ko ye bhi pata na ho. aap ne hamaray niswani aaza (larkion k private body parts) ko nahi chherna. hum agar masoomiat bharay andaz main aap se lipat bhi jayen to aap ko apnay hathon aur... khud pe qabu rakhna ho ga. warna yakeeni tor pe ye bachian hath se nikal jayen gi.
me: phir soch lo yar. mujhay nahi lagta k mujhay raat k waqt tum dono k kamray main aana chahiye. raat k waqt waisay bhi larki larka agar kamray main tanha hon to un k sath shetan bhi hota hai. agar mere sath sath tum dono bhi ek sath hi khud pe ikhtiar kho betheen to bari garbar ho jaye gi yaar.
main ne aik baar phir sanjeedgi ikhtiar kartay huay kaha takay unhen apnay faislay pe nazr e sani (second thought) ka moqa milay magar un k chehron ki muskurahat se lagta nahi tha k meri kisi baat ka un pe koi asar ho raha hai.
SAMREEN: farz karen agar aisa ho bhi gaya to kia hamari honay wali shadian toot jayen gi?
larkay walay hamara rishta thukra den gay? hamaray honay walay shohar hamen shadi se pehley hi tallaq de dalen gay? jab hamari shadian hi nahi honi to hum aisi anhoni baaton se kis liye daren? agar itna hi aap pe shetan sawar hai k apni chhoti behno ki masoomiat ko rond k hi jaan chhoray ga to ye bhi kar k dekh len. kam az kam main to aap ko nahi rokoon gi. umeed hai ab to aap ko raat ko hamaray kamray main aanay pe koi etaraz nahi ho ga.
me: achha baba. tum dono jeeteen. main haara. pakka wada karta hoon k aaj pura din aur poori raat main tum dono k sath hi guzaroon ga aur apni hadd se aagay bhi nahi barhoon ga. ab khush? meri baat sun k dono khush ho k mujh se lipat gayin.
AMBREEN: bohat shukria bhai.
SAMREEN: aap bohat achhay hain bhai. hamari narazgi khatam.
me: achha ab mujhay imtehan main mat dalo. ye jan'nay k baad k tum dono jawan ho gayi ho, mere jazbat main tum dono ki kurbat se halchal machnay lagti hai.
ye kehtay huay main un dono ko sath le ke dobara palang pe beth gaya.
AMBREEN: koi baat nahi bhai. aap shoq se hamen jawan samajhtay rahen. bus apna wada na bhoolain to koi masla nahi ho ga.
me: achha kamar pe to hath laga sakta hoon na?
SAMREEN: (AMBREEN se) yar agar larka kamar pe hath pherey to kia hota hai, sonia ne bataya tha na?
AMBREEN: haan haan. bohat khatarnak baat hai. bhai aap kahin bhi hath nahi lagayen gay.
me: yar ye nayi pabandi laga di tum dono ne. is se pehlay to sirf niswani aaza ki baat hui thi.
SAMREEN: samjha karen na bhai. itna narm o nazuk jawan jisam agar kisi larkay ki kurbat main ho to larka khud bakhud hi behaknay lagay ga. hum ye khatra mol nahi le sakteen.