Fantasy Maya The Fighter

[Arjun Singh 72]

nice start

 

[Ng_TheViper]

Nice but confused..

Patal Dev n Jo niyam bataya wahi Samajh ni aaya . Ladke ki galti b ni samjah aayi . spelling mistake thi aur shayad 1-2 words b gayab h isliye pura mtlb Samajh ni aaya ...



Uske baad punarjanam m ladki k pass powers hongi but kyu iska logic b ni Samajh aaya .. fantasy story m logic ni hote scientific type but kahani m hi kadiya jod k logic bana dia jata h so try to work on that too..


Jaisa ki story m Girl hi Lead character h to acha hoga agar uske opposite m hero bilkul normal insan ko rakho without any super power..

All d best..

 

[sonukale]

For new story

 

[aka3829]

Welcome to story land Xforum. Jaise ki aapne batay ki aap apne husband ki story se prabhavit ho kar yaha aayi ho to yani ki aapke pati R humare dost hue . To aap humari Bhabhi ji hui. To bhabhi ji congratulations for new thread. Aapke pati R ki kaun si stories he sayad me pehchan gya hu lekin yaha khulasa nahi karunga. Ab aate he story par jaha aap e intro me dikhaya ki aap 4 bhene hi he koi bhai nahi he lekin fir patal dev ne kaha he ki un dono atmao ka janam bhai behno ke rup me hoga. Aur jo galti usAne patal lok me ki he wo galti wo apne dusare janam me na kare yani ki sabse pehle use ladke ko apni ma aur badi bahen ke sath saririk sambandh banane honge usake baad wo apni premika ke sath sambandh bana sakega. Yaha kuch locha laga mujhe. Plzzz chek it out.
Aur kuch problem ho to R bhai se madad lelena.
Sakti g 4 next update

 

[Mast fakir]

Bhabhi ji agr aap updates nahi post karengi toh hum kaise story padhege aur comment aur likes kaise karege.

 

[DBadshah8787]

Bhabhi g waiting for next update ?

 

[Maya Loves R]

Congrat for new thread .
Waiting for next . Jaldi jaldi update de do

Thanks

 

[Maya Loves R]

congratulations for new thread

Thanks

 

[Maya Loves R]

Bhabhi ji agr aap updates nahi post karengi toh hum kaise story padhege aur comment aur likes kaise karege.

Dever ji Aaj se start apke bhabhi ki likhi kahani shuru

 

[Mast fakir]

But bhabhiji aapne abhi tak update post nahi kiya .