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So, finally with the blessing of all the major and minor stakeholders, I was married to Devyani over a year after Gabi’s passing!
Devyani and I both wanted a very simple wedding, and we could successfully request her father to agree. He opposed for some time, but when he saw the overall merit to our proposal, he was alright. We opted for a court marriage, followed by a temple wedding. Devyani knew its significance and she herself was not into all the fanfare that goes in to the usual Indian weddings. She was a proud professional and wanted only two of us to make all the arrangements and bear all the expenses.
Both times, the process, and arrangements both were very simple. For court wedding, both Devy and I were dressed in simple tee-shirt and jeans. There were all our family members and a couple of very close friends present. The magistrate was a very jovial and nice person, who treated us very well, and allowed us to take our time and take as many photos as possible. According to him it was the registration that matters. After our wedding, we walked in to a five-star hotel and had our lunch to be ready for the temple wedding in the evening.
Devy had seen the photos from my first wedding and she was very impressed with the setup. But the difference was that this time, we did it in a local temple and not in my village temple. Several of our friends and families came to our wedding. Devyani and I decided that we would throw a party for our family and friends the next day, as the wedding day was going to be a bit hurried because of two weddings! And, we wanted to be, as Devyani wanted us to be, very fresh and energetic for our first night as a married couple.
For wedding formalities, she wore a red zaridaar Banarasi silk saree and all her jewelries; I was dressed in elaborately embroidered kurta, churidar and had a pagri (all was my father-in-law’s suggestions or rather insistence). We had made a booking at the temple for wedding, so although there were a few devotees, the temple had arranged a separate queue for other devotees, while keeping a bigger section cordoned-off for the rituals. We had about an hour-long religious style wedding. It was nice; some of the regular performers at the temple were present and played some traditional and religious songs and bhajans. Although Dvyani’s bridal dress was simple, I somehow found it to be very erotic - making me think about our post-marital coitus. I also guiltily remember my wedding with Gabi, to which I later apologized to Devyani and she graciously forgave me saying that she understood and that she was not trying to replace Gabi in my life, rather she was trying to have her own place in my life and trying to build a beautiful life together.
Devy’s face was covered in a (ghoonghat) veil, again on her father’s insistence (my parents did not like the idea, but since Devy’s Daddy was older than them, they acquiesced); other than that, you could see her hands, midriff! The temple priest was performing the rituals and reciting mantras, whereas I was thinking about our first night as a legally wedded couple. He gave us two heavy garlands and asked us to put around each other’s necks. It was not a very long procedure. Soon, I was asked to tie a mangalsutra around Devy’s neck. It was an exciting scene for me as now she was in all manner of speaking, she was my wife! Finally, we bowed at God’s altar and sought all of loved ones’ blessings.
As we finally became legally and ritually wedded couple, we directly went to a five-star hotel for celebratory dinner. Her father offered me double of scotch and mischievously told me not to drink any more than that on my wedding night, otherwise there might be performance issues. I never thought that he would open with me so much as to joke about such things!
Her father had requested to my parents that I should stay and spend my first night with Devyani at Devyani’s maika (her home), and the next morning she can accompany me to her new home. Neither I nor my parents had any hang-ups with this request, especially because it gave a bit of a breather to us to make necessary last-minute arrangements for our wedding reception. After that, we were to leave for honeymoon the very next day - this was forced on us by our parents.
Like Gabi, Devy too wanted to spend ten days in our ancestral village. To that request, my father said that we could go to the village at any time, but we must go for a ‘proper’ honeymoon to a ‘proper’ honeymoon place. So, then it was decided - Devyani’s home was going to be the place where we would not only begin our marital journey, but also the place where she could potentially begin her maternal journey. My parents went to my house, while Jayanti Didi’s husband big us good night and left for his home. It becomes very convenient when members of both families live in one city.
I later came to know that Devyani’s father also fussed about what she should wear for her first night. He believed she should wear sari and all the jewelry, whereas Jayanti and to a large extent Devy too felt that a comfortable bridal suit should be sufficient, as it was going to be removed anyway! I agreed with the ladies (not that anyone consulted with me) but did not mind having Devy any which way. After we returned from our dinner, Devy was whisked away for some 'preparation'. At around 9:30 pm, I was told that she was waiting for me. I was wearing the same dhoti-kurta as from the wedding. It was comfortable and I did not mind wearing it. I also brought a change of clothes, which I was not sure when to wear.
Suhagrat or the first night of a newly wedded husband and wife! Many old Indian films have depicted the moment in the following manner - the bejeweled bride sits alone on a bed strewn with flowers, her bosoms heaving and lips quivering with anticipation. Her dashing groom makes an entrance and takes his first real look at his bride. While he gazes at her with desire, the bride is too bashful to meet his gaze. After a brief and harmless caress, the lights go out!
I think one of the boldest suhagraat portrayals was in the movie Kabhi Kabhie. Devy was about to become a teenager herself when that movie was released, and I am sure I had no concept of anything at that age! Devy later told me that that was her favorite scene as well. As she sat through that scene, she told me, she was too young to understand the symbolism it contained. Readers of this story must see that scene - the bride’s long, silken tresses unraveled, alluded to her state of undress. This scene beautifully depicts the couple’s growing intimacy through the groom’s removal of the bride’s jewelry, one piece at a time - the pearl and gold tika hanging over her forehead, necklace, earrings, and finally the nose ring. The song ends as the groom removes his bride’s nose-ring, a crude reference to her loss of virginity. The term ‘nath utarna’ traditionally signified a woman’s loss of virginity.
Long story short, I entered the bedroom at the first floor. It was not isolated, but you can not expect much privacy in a city house. I entered the room and bolted the door behind me. Devyani was not in any veil thankfully. But what she did next surprised me. She got up from the bed and came to me smiling, and suddenly prostrated to touch my feet with her forehead. I know that this practice was prevalent in old times, and some married women still do it, I mean touching the feet of their husbands and all, but I was surprised that Devy would do anything like that. She was a modern girl, completely independent, and on top of that, she was much older to me. Why should she do it? But I did not ask. It was not a night for restrictions. It was a night for liberation.
I stood her upholding her shoulders. We looked into each other’s eyes. And then I too did exactly what she did - that is I touched her feet with my forehead and then kissed it too. When I got up and looked back in her eyes, I could clearly see a mix of surprise, shock and love. Her eyes had all welled up. I said,
“Honey, I also respect you. So, if you are planning to touch my feet, you can expect the same. I am the youngest, always remember that.”
She smiled, “I know and I am so lucky. But you see it is bad luck if a husband touches his wife’s feet.”
“Why?”
“That I don’t know. And that is beside the point... Honey, I always wanted to touch my husband’s feet. So, please do not stop me, and also don’t touch my feet. Let it be only my prerogative?”
She said and before I could say anything, she went down on her knees again and touched my feet with both her hands, and then touched them to her forehead. All I could do was to bend forward and grab her by her shoulders.
Pulling her up, I said, “I love you. You know that?”
“No doubt!”
So much love! We kissed.
Devyani and I both wanted a very simple wedding, and we could successfully request her father to agree. He opposed for some time, but when he saw the overall merit to our proposal, he was alright. We opted for a court marriage, followed by a temple wedding. Devyani knew its significance and she herself was not into all the fanfare that goes in to the usual Indian weddings. She was a proud professional and wanted only two of us to make all the arrangements and bear all the expenses.
Both times, the process, and arrangements both were very simple. For court wedding, both Devy and I were dressed in simple tee-shirt and jeans. There were all our family members and a couple of very close friends present. The magistrate was a very jovial and nice person, who treated us very well, and allowed us to take our time and take as many photos as possible. According to him it was the registration that matters. After our wedding, we walked in to a five-star hotel and had our lunch to be ready for the temple wedding in the evening.
Devy had seen the photos from my first wedding and she was very impressed with the setup. But the difference was that this time, we did it in a local temple and not in my village temple. Several of our friends and families came to our wedding. Devyani and I decided that we would throw a party for our family and friends the next day, as the wedding day was going to be a bit hurried because of two weddings! And, we wanted to be, as Devyani wanted us to be, very fresh and energetic for our first night as a married couple.
For wedding formalities, she wore a red zaridaar Banarasi silk saree and all her jewelries; I was dressed in elaborately embroidered kurta, churidar and had a pagri (all was my father-in-law’s suggestions or rather insistence). We had made a booking at the temple for wedding, so although there were a few devotees, the temple had arranged a separate queue for other devotees, while keeping a bigger section cordoned-off for the rituals. We had about an hour-long religious style wedding. It was nice; some of the regular performers at the temple were present and played some traditional and religious songs and bhajans. Although Dvyani’s bridal dress was simple, I somehow found it to be very erotic - making me think about our post-marital coitus. I also guiltily remember my wedding with Gabi, to which I later apologized to Devyani and she graciously forgave me saying that she understood and that she was not trying to replace Gabi in my life, rather she was trying to have her own place in my life and trying to build a beautiful life together.
Devy’s face was covered in a (ghoonghat) veil, again on her father’s insistence (my parents did not like the idea, but since Devy’s Daddy was older than them, they acquiesced); other than that, you could see her hands, midriff! The temple priest was performing the rituals and reciting mantras, whereas I was thinking about our first night as a legally wedded couple. He gave us two heavy garlands and asked us to put around each other’s necks. It was not a very long procedure. Soon, I was asked to tie a mangalsutra around Devy’s neck. It was an exciting scene for me as now she was in all manner of speaking, she was my wife! Finally, we bowed at God’s altar and sought all of loved ones’ blessings.
As we finally became legally and ritually wedded couple, we directly went to a five-star hotel for celebratory dinner. Her father offered me double of scotch and mischievously told me not to drink any more than that on my wedding night, otherwise there might be performance issues. I never thought that he would open with me so much as to joke about such things!
Her father had requested to my parents that I should stay and spend my first night with Devyani at Devyani’s maika (her home), and the next morning she can accompany me to her new home. Neither I nor my parents had any hang-ups with this request, especially because it gave a bit of a breather to us to make necessary last-minute arrangements for our wedding reception. After that, we were to leave for honeymoon the very next day - this was forced on us by our parents.
Like Gabi, Devy too wanted to spend ten days in our ancestral village. To that request, my father said that we could go to the village at any time, but we must go for a ‘proper’ honeymoon to a ‘proper’ honeymoon place. So, then it was decided - Devyani’s home was going to be the place where we would not only begin our marital journey, but also the place where she could potentially begin her maternal journey. My parents went to my house, while Jayanti Didi’s husband big us good night and left for his home. It becomes very convenient when members of both families live in one city.
I later came to know that Devyani’s father also fussed about what she should wear for her first night. He believed she should wear sari and all the jewelry, whereas Jayanti and to a large extent Devy too felt that a comfortable bridal suit should be sufficient, as it was going to be removed anyway! I agreed with the ladies (not that anyone consulted with me) but did not mind having Devy any which way. After we returned from our dinner, Devy was whisked away for some 'preparation'. At around 9:30 pm, I was told that she was waiting for me. I was wearing the same dhoti-kurta as from the wedding. It was comfortable and I did not mind wearing it. I also brought a change of clothes, which I was not sure when to wear.
Suhagrat or the first night of a newly wedded husband and wife! Many old Indian films have depicted the moment in the following manner - the bejeweled bride sits alone on a bed strewn with flowers, her bosoms heaving and lips quivering with anticipation. Her dashing groom makes an entrance and takes his first real look at his bride. While he gazes at her with desire, the bride is too bashful to meet his gaze. After a brief and harmless caress, the lights go out!
I think one of the boldest suhagraat portrayals was in the movie Kabhi Kabhie. Devy was about to become a teenager herself when that movie was released, and I am sure I had no concept of anything at that age! Devy later told me that that was her favorite scene as well. As she sat through that scene, she told me, she was too young to understand the symbolism it contained. Readers of this story must see that scene - the bride’s long, silken tresses unraveled, alluded to her state of undress. This scene beautifully depicts the couple’s growing intimacy through the groom’s removal of the bride’s jewelry, one piece at a time - the pearl and gold tika hanging over her forehead, necklace, earrings, and finally the nose ring. The song ends as the groom removes his bride’s nose-ring, a crude reference to her loss of virginity. The term ‘nath utarna’ traditionally signified a woman’s loss of virginity.
Long story short, I entered the bedroom at the first floor. It was not isolated, but you can not expect much privacy in a city house. I entered the room and bolted the door behind me. Devyani was not in any veil thankfully. But what she did next surprised me. She got up from the bed and came to me smiling, and suddenly prostrated to touch my feet with her forehead. I know that this practice was prevalent in old times, and some married women still do it, I mean touching the feet of their husbands and all, but I was surprised that Devy would do anything like that. She was a modern girl, completely independent, and on top of that, she was much older to me. Why should she do it? But I did not ask. It was not a night for restrictions. It was a night for liberation.
I stood her upholding her shoulders. We looked into each other’s eyes. And then I too did exactly what she did - that is I touched her feet with my forehead and then kissed it too. When I got up and looked back in her eyes, I could clearly see a mix of surprise, shock and love. Her eyes had all welled up. I said,
“Honey, I also respect you. So, if you are planning to touch my feet, you can expect the same. I am the youngest, always remember that.”
She smiled, “I know and I am so lucky. But you see it is bad luck if a husband touches his wife’s feet.”
“Why?”
“That I don’t know. And that is beside the point... Honey, I always wanted to touch my husband’s feet. So, please do not stop me, and also don’t touch my feet. Let it be only my prerogative?”
She said and before I could say anything, she went down on her knees again and touched my feet with both her hands, and then touched them to her forehead. All I could do was to bend forward and grab her by her shoulders.
Pulling her up, I said, “I love you. You know that?”
“No doubt!”
So much love! We kissed.
