Incest Randiyo ka ghar (incest+adultery)

[Mahaveer]

Zakkkkassss bhai

 

[sexysan]

दोस्त कहानी बहुत अच्छी शुरू हुई थी ,गज़ब के ट्विस्ट भी आये ,फिर ये जो अक्की और ख़ुशी का रोजाना का मशाला है वो ज़्यादा होने लगा .अक्की की फीलिंग भी समझ के बाहर है . मेरे ख्याल से काफी ज्यादा दोहराव से बचो और कहानी को चौतरफा ले जाओ . घर का माहौल ऐसा हो की लगे की सब एक बराबर हैं .बाहर की दुनिया का भी चित्रण हो और मज़ेदार हो .

 

[Beyounick]

Kahan to sahi likh raho ho bhai ..
update ki length bhi sahi hai bich bich me mega updates bhi dete rehna ...
Kahani ab mujhe lagta hai sirf khushi aur Akki ke bich hi reh rahi hai
Baki characters ka bhi vishleshan ache se karo tabhi story se justice hoga
So many characters to play with add some twists too .. make story some flavourful
Don’t beat around the bush (akki and kuhushi alone)
Hope you would consider my points rest is up to you aap writer ho.

 

[RIOT]

Kahan to sahi likh raho ho bhai ..
update ki length bhi sahi hai bich bich me mega updates bhi dete rehna ...
Kahani ab mujhe lagta hai sirf khushi aur Akki ke bich hi reh rahi hai
Baki characters ka bhi vishleshan ache se karo tabhi story se justice hoga
So many characters to play with add some twists too .. make story some flavourful
Don’t beat around the bush (akki and kuhushi alone)
Hope you would consider my points rest is up to you aap writer ho.

I am trying to do what I can. Actually this is my first time writting story so I don't have experience moreover I picked up from between so it's hard but I m doing best I can

 

[Blood Diamond]

दोस्त कहानी बहुत अच्छी शुरू हुई थी ,गज़ब के ट्विस्ट भी आये ,फिर ये जो अक्की और ख़ुशी का रोजाना का मशाला है वो ज़्यादा होने लगा .अक्की की फीलिंग भी समझ के बाहर है . मेरे ख्याल से काफी ज्यादा दोहराव से बचो और कहानी को चौतरफा ले जाओ . घर का माहौल ऐसा हो की लगे की सब एक बराबर हैं .बाहर की दुनिया का भी चित्रण हो और मज़ेदार हो .

Sir ye story mene isi wajah se chhodi bcz ye story apne plot se bhatak rahi thi. M ye story

दोस्त कहानी बहुत अच्छी शुरू हुई थी ,गज़ब के ट्विस्ट भी आये ,फिर ये जो अक्की और ख़ुशी का रोजाना का मशाला है वो ज़्यादा होने लगा .अक्की की फीलिंग भी समझ के बाहर है . मेरे ख्याल से काफी ज्यादा दोहराव से बचो और कहानी को चौतरफा ले जाओ . घर का माहौल ऐसा हो की लगे की सब एक बराबर हैं .बाहर की दुनिया का भी चित्रण हो और मज़ेदार हो .

Sir ye story mene is wajah se hi chhodi thi bcz ye apne plot se bhatak rahi thi. M ye storyyyyy apne dil se likh rahaaa tha lekin phir mene readers ki advise mani, khushi kooo randi na banane ki aur wahi se mera man is story seee dur hone laga, kyonki mera irada tha ki m sabko randi banau. Lekin mujhe is se ek sabakkk mila ki readers ki choice mano jab apne paas koi choice na ho. Meri jo ek story chal rahi hai, uske end hone ke baad mene kuch story soch rakhi hai jese ki
1. Family incest
2. Mother son
3. Bro sis
4. Whore family.

Baki aap readers bata dena ki aapki kya choice hai.

 

[sexysan]

तुम अपने मन की करो , और दोहराव से बचो और नए नए ट्विस्ट बीच बीच में देते रहो . और ७० परसेंट इन्सेस्ट और ३० परसेंट अडल्ट्री रखो . बाकि जो तुम्हारी सोच . तुम्हारे लिखने में दम है इतना पक्का है

 

[Radika Thakur]

Bhai is kahani mein akki ki choti bahen sonal ka ek important role tha par na jane itne updates k baad bhi uska mention hi nhi ho raha h
Mana ki akki ki biwi khushi ban chuki h par story k starting k hisab se akki ka phla pyar sonal hi h or itne dino mein usne use yaad bhi nhi kiya
Thoda is taraf bhi dhyan dijiye
Baki jaisi apki marji

 

[RIOT]

Bhai is kahani mein akki ki choti bahen sonal ka ek important role tha par na jane itne updates k baad bhi uska mention hi nhi ho raha h
Mana ki akki ki biwi khushi ban chuki h par story k starting k hisab se akki ka phla pyar sonal hi h or itne dino mein usne use yaad bhi nhi kiya
Thoda is taraf bhi dhyan dijiye
Baki jaisi apki marji

Yad he mujhe or me uspe update me lane ki kosis kar raha hu per jaisa Mene bola ye meri pheli story he to meri writting itni achi nahi he. To set nahi ho rahi story usliye bhot jald aygi vo bhi update me

 

[RIOT]

Update 35

Agle din khushi ki ankh khulti he or vo nah dhoke tayar hoke niche chali jati he breakfast bana ne. Tabhi Manju or neha ghar ate he job per se.
Khushi: agay tum log betho me abhi chay leke ati hu tumhare liye
Manju: nahi me to sone ja rahi hu mujhe bhot neend a Rahi he.
Khushi: acha thikhe
Fir Manju alne room me chali jati he tab neha kitchen me khushi ke pass jati he
Khushi: tu to piyegi na chai.
Neha: ha di thodi si. Btw di apne ki bhai se bat
Khushi: kis bare me
Neha: mujhe shant karne ke bare me
Khushi: ha Mene bola he use bhot jald ayga tera number bhi
Fir khushi neha ko chai ka cup deti or akki ke liye chai or nasta leke room me chali jati he. Akki abhi bhi so raha tha. Khushi ko thoda majak sujta he to vo akki ka hath pakad ke garam chai ke Cup ko laga deti he. Akki ekdum se uth jata he. Khushi use dekh ke hasne lagti he.
Akki: kya di aap bhi na.
Khushi: kab tak soyga chal ab khada hoja or nasta karle.
Akki nasta karne lag jata he
Khushi: acha tune socha neha ke bare me
Akki: ha di soch liya he aap tension mat lo aj uski garmi bhi shant kar dunga.
Khushi: acha kya socha he.
Akki: mera dost hena sunny uske farmhouse pe bula lunga. Bhot time hogaya he use bhi to use bolunga mere pass he 1 to man jayga.
Khushi: sahi he. Chal tu bhi tayar hoke niche aja
Khushi niche chali jati he or akki nahane chale jata he. Naha ke akki sunny ko phone karta he.
Sunny: kya hua bhai aaj meri kaise yad agay
Akki: Aisa hi kyun nahi kar sakta
Sunny: kar sakta hena pan tu karta nahi he usliye.
Akki: mile bhot time hogaya apne ko aj milte he duphar me apni jagah pe.
Sunny: accha thike me ajaunga or akash ko bhi boldunga.
Akki: thike to 2 baje milte he
Sunny: ha thike
Fir akki phone rakh deta he or niche utarta he. Niche khushi or Manju tv dekh rahe the living room me.
Akki: di baki log Khan he
Khushi:sab so rahe he abhi subah hi aay he.
Akki: acha di me bhar ja raha hu kam se sham tak vapas aunga.
Khushi: acha thike dhyan rakhna apna.
Akki: ok bye
Akki kuch kam se nikal jata he or fir 2 baje sunny or akash se milne pauch jata he. Vahn pauch ke vo sunny or akash se gale milta he.
Akash: kya be Khan gayab hogaya tha itne din.
Akki: are kam me busy tha.
Sunny: bhot kam karne laga he aj kal.
Akki: are aisi bat nahi he.
Sunny: acha ye sab bat chod. Bhai us mal ko kab vapas bula raha he farm house pe.
Akash: ha bhai jab se use choda he or kisi me maja hi nahi ata.
Akki: bulata hu jald bulata hu. Magar mere pass Naya maal bhi aya he agar tumhe try karna ho to
Sunny: kya bat kar raha he. Randi khana khol liya he kya tune.
Akki: nahi bas mil gaya mujhe ek contact ke pass se. Or tumhe pata hi he me kaisa maal Lata hu.
Sunny: ha vo to he.
Akash: to ek kam karna aj rat ko bula le nay vale ko sunny ke farm house pe.
Akki: bula to lu pan ye bhi mehngi hogi chalega?
Sunny: tu paiso ki chinta mat kar bas bula le tu.
Akki: thike me bat karleta hu or unhe 1 account number deta he. Ispe paise daldena 10 baje vo ajaygi
Sunny: kitne dalne.
Akki: hum teeno ke full night ke 60,000 hoga
Sunny: thike me dalva dunga tu time pe leke ajana use.
Akki: ha jaunga tension mat le
Fir vo log thodi der bat karte he or akki chala jata he fir ghar pe.
Ghar pe Manju uske liye darwaja kholti he
Manju: to aaj kitne customer he hamare liye
Akki: Bata ta hu andar to ane do
Dono ander chale jate he sab khane baithe hote he.
Akki bhi hat muh dhoke khane baith jata he or fir khake vo bolta he.
Akki: aj 1 milf chaiye to mom apko Jana he ya veena bua apko
Veena: mera mood nahi he aj Anita ko bhej de
Akki: thike mom ap ye address pe chale jana
Anita: acha thike
Akki: or neha tumhe ye address pe Jana he mujhe us taraf kam he to me tumhe vahan utar dunga.
Neha: acha theeke
Neha or Anita tayar hone chale jate or veena or Manju tv dekh rahe hote. Khushi room me thi akki ke sath.
Akki: di me ja raha hu neha ko leke sunny ke farm house usko suprise dunga to rat ko nahi aunga aap sojana.
Khushi: acha theeke ache shant kardena aj usko.
Akki: aap bilkul tension mat lo
Fir akki niche utarta he Anita or neha tayar thi. Anita apne aap nikal jati he address pe or akki neha ko leke nikal jata he farm house ke liye.

 

[manisha20]

Bhot khup. Pr shayad ab ye story naam se bhatk gai h