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Aangan mein wapas aakar hum dono kaafi der tak chupchaap baithe rahe.
Anwesha ne apna bag crate par rakh diya tha aur dono ghutne mod kar baith gayi thi. Uski nazar zameen par thi, jahan flashlight ka ghera pad raha tha.
Maine apni watch dekhi. Ghadi ki sui saat bajke chhattees minute par ruki hui thi. Phone par ab bhi saat bajke chautees.
"Pyaas lagi hai?" maine poocha.
"Nahi," usne bina sar uthaye kaha. "Aur yahi ajeeb hai."
Maine paani ki bottle ki taraf dekha jo zameen par padi thi.
"Do ghante se zyada ho gaye," usne aage kaha. "Dadar mein jab main bridge se utar rahi thi, toh mujhe bahut tez bhookh lag rahi thi. Maine socha tha station ke bahar wada pav khaoongi. Par abhi mujhe kuch feel nahi ho raha. Na bhookh, na pyaas, na neend."
Maine apne haath ko dekha. Ungliyan thandi thi, par unme wo kapkapi nahi thi jo aisi jagah darr ya thand se hoti hai. Aisa lag raha tha shareer kisi ek point par aakar atak gaya ho, jahan kuch badal nahi raha tha.
"Tum Dadar mein kisi se milne ja rahi thi?" maine baat badalne ke liye poocha.
Anwesha ne thoda sa kandha hilaya. "College ka ek submission tha. Mere professor hain, Agastya sir. Unhe ek purani mill ke re-development ka blueprint dikhana tha. Unka studio Dadar TT ke paas hai. Unhone kaha tha saat baje tak pahonch jaana, warna wo nikal jayenge."
Usne flashlight ki roshni mein zameen par giri ek chhoti si kankar ko jooti ki nok se aage khiskaya.
"Ab shayad wo ja chuke honge," usne kaha.
"Shayad unke yahan bhi saat hi baj rahe hon," maine keh diya.
Anwesha ne pehli baar sar utha kar meri taraf seedhe dekha. Uski aankhon mein ek ajeeb sa sawaal tha.
"Tumhe lagta hai bahar bhi sab ruka hua hai?"
"Mujhe nahi pata," maine deewar se peeth tika li. "Mujhe toh ye bhi nahi pata ki bahar abhi kuch hai ya nahi."
Anwesha kuch der chup rahi.
"Bahar sab hoga," usne aahista se kaha. "Riya Bandra mein kisi cafe mein baith kar complaint kar rahi hogi ki main phone kyun nahi utha rahi. Local trains chal rahi hongi. Log ghar ja rahe honge."
Usne apni notebook uthayi aur uske panne palatne lagi. Panno ke palatne ki aawaz us sannate mein kaafi saaf sunai de rahi thi.
"Aur tumhare ghar par?" usne poocha. "Sach mein koi nahi hai jo puchega?"
"Main akela rehta hoon. Pichle teen saal se."
"Mummy papa Pune mein kahan rehte hain?"
"Kothrud. Papa retire ho chuke hain, bank mein the. Mummy ghar sambhalti hai."
"Unse baat kab hui thi aakhiri baar?"
Maine thoda socha. "Pichle Ravivaar. Mummy ne call kiya tha, poocha tha khana kaisa ban raha hai, maid aati hai ya nahi. Wahi sab normal baatein."
"Tum unhe sab batate ho?"
"Nahi," maine turant kaha. Phir ruk kar joda, "Zaroori nahi lagta. Unhe tension hoti hai bekar mein."
Anwesha ne pen ka cap ghuma kar ek halki si aawaz ki.
"Meri aadat alag hai. Mujhe jab tak kisi baat ki poori clarity na ho, main tab tak kisi ko chain se nahi rehne deti. Agastya sir bolte hain ki main har cheez mein zaroorat se zyada sawaal dhoondhti hoon."
"Sawaal dhoondhna galat toh nahi hai."
"Tab tak galat nahi hai jab tak sawaalon ke jawaab milte rahein." Usne notebook ko band kiya aur zameen par rakh diya. "Par jab koi jawaab hi na ho, toh sawaal sirf sar mein shor machate hain."
Hum dono phir se chup ho gaye.
Kuch der baad hawa ka rukh badla.
Pehle wo bilkul ruki hui thi. Ab ek halki lehar aayi, jisme purane kagaz aur sookhi lakdi ki mehak thi. Aur us hawa ke saath ek aawaz aayi.
Dono eenton ke khambon ke us paar se.
Koi jhaadu laga raha tha.
Ek niyamit aawaz. Zameen par baas ke jhaadu ke ghisatne ki. Ek, do, teen. Phir thoda sa theraav. Phir wahi. Ek, do, teen.
Anwesha ka haath uski notebook par ruk gaya. Wo us lakdi ke khali frame ki taraf dekh rahi thi.
Maine flashlight band kar di.
Andhera itna gehra tha ki pehle kuch second tak mujhe apne aage kuch nahi dikha. Phir dheere dheere aangan ke us paar, lakdi ke frame ke peeche, ek halka sa peela daag ubharne laga. Koi roshni ka source nahi dikh raha tha, bas wahan ka andhera thoda kam kaala tha.
Jhaadu lagane ki aawaz corridor mein dheere dheere aage badh rahi thi. Hamari taraf nahi, balki kisi alag disha mein.
Anwesha ne mera haath pakda.
Uska haath thanda tha, aur uski pakad tight thi.
"Dhruv," usne kaan ke paas phusphusa kar kaha.
"Chup raho," maine bilkul dheeme se kaha.
Jhaadu lagane ki aawaz ek jagah aakar ruki.
Phir ek gehra, thaka hua saans lene ki aawaz aayi. Aisa laga jaise koi buzurg aadmi din bhar ke kaam ke baad kamar seedhi kar raha ho.
Phir aawaz aayi, bilkul sadharan leheje mein.
"Bahar aana hai toh aao. Wahan aangan mein hawa theek nahi hai."
Aawaz corridor ke andar se aayi thi, par itni saaf thi jaise wo aadmi hamare theek aage khada ho.
Maine Anwesha ki taraf dekha. Andhere mein uska chehra theek se nahi dikh raha tha, par usne mera haath chhod diya tha aur ab crate se thoda alag ho kar khadi ho rahi thi.
"Kaun hai wahan?" Anwesha ne aawaz mein thodi sakhti laane ki koshish karte hue poocha.
Andar se turant koi jawaab nahi aaya. Kuch der baad bas wahi jhaadu lagane ki aawaz wapas shuru ho gayi. Ek, do, teen.
"Main pooch rahi hoon, kaun hain aap?" usne thoda tez kaha.
Jhaadu ki aawaz ruki nahi, par chalte chalte wahi thaki hui aawaz dobara aayi.
"Jawaab chahiye toh andar aana padega, beti. Main yahan se chillane nahi wala."
Aawaz dheere dheere door jaane lagi.
Maine apni jeb se flashlight nikali, par on nahi ki.
"Jaana hai?" maine Anwesha se poocha.
Usne andhere mein frame ki taraf dekha.
"Agar ye yahan se nikalne ka raasta hai, toh hum yahan baith kar intezaar nahi kar sakte."
Usne apna phone on kiya, screen ki roshni uske chehre par peeli si chamki, aur usne pehla kadam lakdi ke frame ki taraf badha diya.
Anwesha ne apna phone on kiya aur pehla kadam frame ki taraf badha diya. Main peeche peeche chala.
Corridor wahi tha, wahi grey tiles, wahi ukhda hua peela paint. Us jhaadu ki aawaz corridor ke door se, kisi mod ke us paar se aa rahi thi. Ek, do, teen. Phir chhota sa theraav. Phir wahi.
Wo stool aur tiffin ab wahan nahi the. Zameen bilkul khali thi.
Anwesha ne bhi wo dekha. Uske chalne ki raftaar ek pal ke liye dheemi hui, phir wo aage badh gayi.
Hum us mod tak pahonche. Mod ke us paar ek chhota sa hall tha, aur us hall ke beech mein ek peela bulb chhat se latak raha tha. Bulb ke neeche zameen par ek buzurg aadmi baitha tha, ghutne mode hue, aur haath mein baas ka jhaadu tha. Wo jhaadu se chhoti chhoti dhool ki dher banata ja raha tha aur ek plastic ke dabbe mein daalta ja raha tha.
Uska chehra hamari taraf nahi tha, par jaise hi hum us mod par pahonche, usne bina peeche mude bola.
"Aa gaye. Baitho wahan, deewar ke paas. Aangan mein zyada der theek nahi thi."
Uski aawaz mein na koi khushi thi na naaraazi. Waisi hi thi jaise koi railway ka guard shaam ki last local dikhate hue bolta hai.
Anwesha nahi baithi. Wo bulb ke us paar khadi rahi, dono haath bag ke strap par.
"Kyun theek nahi thi?" usne poocha.
Aadmi ne jhaadu rakha aur ghutnon par haath rakh kar seedha hua. Kamar seedhi karte waqt uske ghutnon se ek halki si 'kad' ki aawaz aayi. Wo palta.
Saath ke aas-paas ki umar hogi. Chehra saaf tha, par aankhon ke neeche gehre halke se ghere the. Ek purani grey shirt pehni thi, aur uske upar ek gehre neele rang ki sweater jise saamne se do jagah se raffu kiya gaya tha. Sar ke baal safed the, par ghane the.
"Kyun theek nahi thi," usne dohraya, jaise pehli baar us sawaal ke baare mein soch raha ho. "Bas theek nahi thi, beti. Har jagah ka apna mizaaj hota hai."
"Ye jawaab nahi hua," Anwesha ne kaha.
Chowkidaar hasa. Halki si hasi thi.
"Nahi hua," usne maan liya. "Par abhi ke liye itna hi hai."
"Yahan se bahar nikalne ka raasta hai?" maine poocha.
Usne mera sawaal aise suna jaise koi apna kaam karte hue radio par koi khabar sun raha ho.
"Raasta hamesha hota hai."
"Toh bataiye."
"Bata sakta toh dikhata bhi."
Anwesha ne aage kadam badhaya. "Aap wo tiffin lekar aaye the? Corridor mein ek stool par tha."
Chowkidaar ne apna sar ek taraf ghumaya jaise sochne ki koshish kar raha ho.
"Kaunsa tiffin?"
"Do minute pehle jo hum dono ne dekha tha."
"Beti, main saara din jhaadu lagata hoon. Jo cheez nazar aati hai use uthata hoon."
"Toh tha ya nahi tha?"
Chowkidaar ne kuch der uski taraf dekha. Phir dheere se kaha, "Yahan jo dikhta hai, aur jo hota hai, wo hamesha ek cheez nahi hoti."
Anwesha ke chehre par ek chidh aayi. Wo aisi ladki thi jise jab kuch samajh nahi aata toh gussa aa jaata tha, par gussa doosron par nahi, khud us cheez par jo samajh mein nahi aa rahi.
"Ye jawab bhi nahi hua," usne kaha.
"Nahi hua," Chowkidaar ne dhairya se dohraya. "Beti, khadi kyun ho ab tak? Baith jao. Pair dukhenge."
Anwesha nahi baithi. Par uske chehre par ek pal ke liye ye baat aayi ki wo ek buzurg aadmi se jhagad rahi hai jo use pair dukhne ke baare mein bata raha hai. Uske hoth halke se hile, poori muskurahat nahi thi.
Wo chup ho gayi. Sawaal jeb mein rakh liya.
Chowkidaar ne dabba uthaya aur hall ke doosre kone ki taraf chalne laga. Wahan ek chhota sa lakdi ka darwaza tha jo maine pehle nahi dekha tha.
Chalte chalte usne meri taraf dekha.
"Aur tum, beta."
"Ji?"
"Tumhare paas kya hai jo tumhe yaad hai, aur kisi ko yaad nahi?"
Ek pal ke liye mujhe laga jaise mera seena band ho gaya ho.
Ananya.
Uska naam mere hoth tak nahi aaya. Kyunki Anwesha wahi khadi thi, aur main aisi baatein aisi jagah kisi ke saamne nahi bolta jise main mushkil se do ghante se jaanta hoon. Mummy ko bhi bahut si baatein nahi batata, yahan bhi nahi bataunga.
Chowkidaar ne meri taraf der tak dekha.
"Kaha nahi. Par aankhein bata deti hain."
"Ye sab kaise pata hai aapko?" maine poocha.
Chowkidaar ne darwaze ka handle pakda.
"Jo duniya se chhoot jaata hai, kabhi kabhi yahan mil jaata hai. Bas itna."
"Aur wapas mil jaata hai?"
Chowkidaar ne mujhe der tak dekha.
"Kuch cheezein wapas milne ke liye nahi hoti, beta. Kuch cheezein bas dikh jaati hain, taaki tumhe pata rahe ki wo thi."
Anwesha ne mujhe dekha. Uske chehre par ek sawaal aaya. Par usne poocha nahi. Uski aankhein meri jeb par ek pal ke liye ruki, phir hat gayi.
Chowkidaar ne darwaza khola. Us paar bhi ek corridor tha, thoda saaf, thodi behtar roshni wala.
"Aao," usne kaha. "Yahan se tum donon apne apne raste par pahonch jaoge. Ye raste alag hain."
"Alag matlab?" Anwesha ne turant poocha.
"Matlab tum jahan se aayi ho, wo raasta uss taraf khulega. Aur beta jahan se aaya hai, wo raasta iss taraf. Ek saath bahar nahi jaa sakte tum donon."
"Kyun nahi jaa sakte?"
Chowkidaar ne kandha uchkaya. "Isliye ki ye jagah aisi hai."
"Aisa niyam kis ne banaya?"
"Beti, main ye banane wala nahi hoon. Main sirf yahan rehta hoon."
Anwesha ke chehre par wo chidh wapas aa gayi. Wo aur kuch pooch ne wali thi, par ek pal ke liye uski nazar mujh par padi. Aur maine dekha ki uski aankhon mein sirf gussa nahi tha. Uske andar bhi wo hi cheez thi jo mere andar thi. Ek chhoti si nakushi. Ki hum yahan se ek saath nahi nikal rahe.
Wo chup ho gayi.
"Aur hum dobara mil sakte hain?" usne poocha, aawaz thodi dheemi ho gayi thi.
Chowkidaar ne kuch nahi kaha. Bas ek pal ke liye apni aankhein band ki, phir kholi.
"Beti, ye jagah har kisi ke liye alag hai. Kabhi milati hai. Kabhi nahi."
"Aur jab milati hai?"
Chowkidaar ne uski taraf dekha, aur is baar uski aawaz mein pehli baar ek halki si narmi thi.
Anwesha ke chehre par pehli baar wo cheez aayi jise wo pichhle do ghante se dabaye hue thi. Halki si thakan. Ek udaasi jo abhi poori nahi thi, par aa rahi thi.
Usne mujhe dekha.
"Dhruv..."
"Haan."
Usne bag ka strap kandhe par theek kiya. Notebook godh se utha kar bag mein daali. Aur dheere se muskurayi. Wo muskurahat thodi udaas thi.
"Agar mile toh, tum mujhe pehchan loge?"
"Haan."
"Pakka?"
"Pakka."
Usne sar hilaya. Phir chowkidaar ki taraf mudi.
"Chaliye."
Chowkidaar ne mujhe ishara kiya ek taraf, aur Anwesha ko doosri taraf. Corridor us darwaze ke us paar do alag raston mein bat gaya tha. Ek daayen, ek baayen.
Anwesha apne raste par chali. Do kadam chal kar wo ruki. Peeche mudi.
"Dhruv."
"Haan?"
"Mera phone number tumhare paas nahi hai."
"Network nahi hai."
"Toh yaad karlo. Nau nau paanch chaar, do teen do teen, aath aath saat paanch."
Wo palti aur apne raste par chali gayi. Uski aakhri jhalak wo peela bulb ke neeche thi, phir wo mod ke us paar ojhal ho gayi.
Chowkidaar mere paas aaya. Usne mere kandhe par ek haath rakha.
"Chal beta."
Main uske saath doosri taraf ke raste par chala.
Chalte chalte maine dekha ki Chowkidaar ki chaal mein bhi wahi baat thi jo hum dono ne aangan mein mehsoos ki thi. Wo bhi jaise kisi ek jagah aakar ruk gaya tha. Uska shareer thak sa raha tha, par thakan puri nahi thi, aur aage badhne mein bhi koi jaldi nahi thi.
"Aap yahan kitne arse se hain?" maine poocha.
Chowkidaar hasa.
"Ye sawaal poochne ka koi matlab nahi, beta. Yahan arse ka koi hisab nahi."
Corridor ke aage ek aur mod tha, aur us mod ke us paar ek chhoti si roshni thi jo bahar ki taraf dikh rahi thi.
"Yahan se seedhe nikal jaana," usne kaha. "Aur peeche mud ke mat dekhna."
"Kyun?"
"Kyunki peeche kuch nahi hoga."
Maine sar hilaya.
Nikalne se pehle main ruka.
"Ek baat aur poochu?"
Chowkidaar ne mujhe dekha.
"Wo cheez jo mere paas hai, jo kisi ko yaad nahi... wo yahan hai kya?"
Chowkidaar bahut der tak chup raha.
"Beta, agar main ye bata doon, toh kal se tum sirf isi baat ke liye yahan aana chahoge. Aur ye jagah aisi nahi hai jahan tum kisi cheez ke liye aa sako. Ye jagah tab khulti hai jab tumhare paas kuch aisa ho jo yahan aana chahta ho."
"Iska matlab main wapas aa sakta hoon?"
"Jab tak tumhare paas wo cheez hai, tum aa sakte ho."
"Aur jab wo bhi mujhse chhoot jayegi?"
Chowkidaar muskuraya.
"Us din tumhe iska dukh bhi nahi hoga."
Uske baad usne kuch nahi kaha.
Main chala. Roshni ke us paar nikla.
Aur ek pal mein, main apni gali mein khada tha. Wahi purani colony ki gali. Wahi peela street light. Wahi kachre ka dibba jo thoda side mein hata hua tha.
Peeche mud ke maine dekha.
Wahan do deewaron ke beech mein wo cut ab nahi tha. Bas ek saada, khali deewar thi.
Phone nikala. Screen par 7:34 nahi tha. Ab uspe 11:47 tha. Ghar ka raasta khali tha. Traffic ki aawaz door se aa rahi thi.
Main pandrah minute paidal chal kar apne flat pahoncha. Chabi ghumayi. Andar ghusa. Batti jalayi.
Kamre mein sab kuch waisa hi tha jaisa main subah chhod kar gaya tha. Bistar par chadar aadhi latki hui. Takiya zameen par. Chai ka mug side table par.
Bilkul waisa hi.
Sirf ek cheez alag thi.
Dining table par ek phone padha tha.
Mera phone.
Main jeb par haath daala. Wahan bhi mera phone tha.
Dono phone ek jaise the. Dono par same lock screen tha. Dono ka charger port ek jaise ghisa hua tha.
Main der tak dono phones ko dekhta raha.
Maine jeb wale phone ko dining table par doosre phone ke bagal mein rakha.
Nahi ki koi bada karan tha. Bas neend nahi aayi. Do phones dining table par ek doosre ke bagal mein pade the. Maine unhe wahin chhod diya tha. Batti bhi jalti chhod di thi. Chai banayi thi, do ghoont pi ke chhod di.
Bistar par lete hue maine chhat dekhi. Chhat par ek pankha ghoom raha tha jo sardiyon mein bhi band nahi hota, kyunki uski switch ka wire kabhi theek nahi karvaya maine. Wo dheere ghoomta hai, aur uske blades par thodi thodi dhool jam gayi hai. Har chakkar par ek halki si click ki aawaz aati hai.
Main us aawaz ko sunta raha.
Ek baar main utha aur pani piya. Dining table ke paas se guzra. Dono phone wahin the. Maine unhe chhua nahi. Sirf dekha aur wapas bistar par aa gaya.
Subah lagbhag chaar baje mujhe neend aayi. Ya shayad main bas so gaya bina jaane.
Nau baje alarm baja. Maine band kar diya aur do minute baad phir laga diya. Ye kaam maine teen baar kiya. Aakhir mein das bajkar bees minute par utha.
Uthte hi mujhe kuch achha laga. Ye ajeeb tha. Dhoop kamre mein aa rahi thi, khidki se. Baaher gali mein sabzi bechne wale ki aawaz aa rahi thi. "Bhindi das rupaye, tamatar bees."
Main uthkar bathroom gaya. Muh dhoya. Aayine mein khud ko dekha.
Wahi chehra. Wahi halke se ghere aankhon ke neeche. Wahi thodi si badi hui daadhi.
Kuch alag nahi tha.
Main kitchen mein aaya. Chai banayi. Ek slice bread toaster mein daala. Toaster kaafi purana hai, uska ek side jaldi jal jaata hai. Isliye jab bread nikaali toh ek kona kaala tha. Main kaala hissa chaaku se kaat kar phenk diya, baaki khaya.
Sab kuch itna normal tha ki ek pal ke liye mujhe laga ki kal shaam sach mein hui thi ya nahi.
Table par baithke chai peeta raha. Meri nazar dining table par gayi. Do phones wahin the.
Maine unhe chhua nahi.
Chai khatam karke maine phone uthaya. Apna phone. Jeb wala. Kabir ka message tha.
"Bhai, aaj free hai? Chai peeni hai."
Kabir ka ye message mujhe roz aata hai. Kabhi jawab deta hoon, kabhi nahi. Kabir bura nahi manta.
Aaj maine jawab diya. "Haan. Kahan?"
"Prabhadevi wala. Ek ghante mein."
"Aa raha hoon."
Nahaya. Kapde badle. Nikla.
Prabhadevi mein wo cafe ek chhota sa spot hai jise sirf hamare jaise log jaante hain jo aas paas ke office mein kaam karte hain. Bade taste ka nahi, par sasti chai deta hai aur zyada shor nahi hoti. Kabir aur main wahan pichle do saal se milte hain. Kabir Andheri mein rehta hai par Prabhadevi tak aana use bura nahi lagta, kyunki uski girlfriend Lower Parel mein kaam karti hai.
Cafe pahoncha toh Kabir already table par baitha tha. Uske saamne dono cups aa chuki thi.
"Late," usne kaha, phone se nazar hataye bina.
"Neend nahi aayi thi."
"Kal raat kya kar raha tha?"
Main baitha. Chai ka cup uthaya.
"Kuch nahi. Bas."
Kabir ne phone rakh diya aur mera chehra dekha.
"Bhai, tu theek hai? Chehra ajeeb sa lag raha hai."
"Neend ki kami hai. Kuch nahi."
"Ananya ka kya hua? Puch li kya?"
Main ruka.
Chai ka cup mere hoth tak aaya, phir wahin ruk gaya.
"Kaun Ananya?"
Ye maine dheere se poocha. Casually.
Kabir ne mujhe dekha. Uske chehre par confusion aayi, phir wo hasa.
"Bhai, tu abhi bhool gaya? Pichle hafte tu mujhe ghante bhar us ladki ke baare mein bata raha tha jise tu office mein poochne wala tha. Coffee ke liye. Kya naam tha? Anushka? Ananya?"
"Haan," maine kaha, thoda tez. "Ananya. Ha ha. Bhool gaya."
"Toh poocha ya nahi?"
"Nahi."
"Kyun?"
"Wo... wo office nahi aayi."
"Toh?"
"Toh next time."
Kabir ne kandha uchka diya. "Bas next time bolne se kuch nahi hota. Kal poochna."
"Haan."
Wo apni chai peene laga. Maine bhi chai piya.
Ye ek chhoti si rahat thi. Bahut chhoti si. Kabir ko yaad tha ki maine kisi ke baare mein baat ki thi. Wo Ananya ko nahi jaanta tha, par wo jaanta tha ki main jaanta tha.
"Suna?" Kabir ne kaha. "Neeraj shaadi kar raha hai."
"Neeraj kaun?"
"Bhai, hamara Neeraj. College wala."
"Achha Neeraj. Kab?"
"March mein. Jaipur mein. Sab log ja rahe hain. Chalega tu?"
"Dekh lunga."
"Dekh lunga matlab nahi. Tu hamesha aisa hi karta hai. Book kar. Abhi. Flight sasti hai."
"Haan yaar. Ghar jaa ke."
Kabir ne haath hilaya, jaise wo pehle se jaanta ho ki main book nahi karunga.
Kuch der wo cricket ke baare mein bola. India Australia ki series chal rahi thi. Kal raat ka match maine nahi dekha tha. Kabir ne highlights ka poora review de diya bina ye pooche ki maine dekha tha ya nahi. Wo aisa hi hai.
Ek pal ke liye kuch nahi hua. Kabir apne phone mein kuch dekh raha tha.
Phir maine dheere se kaha, "Wo Lonavala mein thoda tha na?"
Kabir ne sar utha ke mujhe dekha.
"Haan. Kya?"
"Nahi. Bas... mujhe laga wo Goa wala trip tha."
Kabir hasa. "Goa? Kaunsa Goa?"
"Wo jo hum gaye the. Do saal pehle. December mein."
"Bhai, hum Goa nahi gaye kabhi. Aisi kismat kahan."
"Nahi gaye?"
"Nahi." Kabir ab thoda seedha baith gaya tha. Uska hasi wala expression khatam ho gaya tha. "Tu sach mein bhool raha hai kya? Hum Lonavala gaye the. December mein. Tu Priya se pehli baar wahin mila tha."
"Nahi," maine kaha. Aur mujhe apni aawaz thodi zyada tez lagi. Maine ise thoda dheema kiya. "Nahi mera matlab, Lonavala bhi gaye the. Par uske pehle Goa gaye the na?"
"Kab?"
"Uske pehle. Ek saal pehle. December mein."
Kabir ne kandha uchkaya. "Yaar, mujhe yaad nahi. Tu bata."
"Hum char log the. Tu, main, Neeraj, aur Abhishek. Beach par gaye the. Raat mein. Beach par bahut hawa chal rahi thi aur teri shirt bheeg gayi thi kyunki tu paani mein ghusa tha."
Kabir ne ek pal ke liye kuch nahi kaha. Wo sochne ki koshish kar raha tha.
Phir wo hasa. "Bhai. Wo Lonavala mein hua tha."
"Kya?"
"Wo shirt bheegne wali baat. Wo Lonavala mein hua tha. Raat ko hum us dam ke paas gaye the aur baarish shuru ho gayi thi. Main paani mein slip ho gaya tha aur meri shirt bheeg gayi thi. Yaad nahi tujhe? Tu aur Neeraj mujhe dekh ke has rahe the."
"Nahi," maine kaha.
Par kehte kehte mujhe ek chhota sa dhakka mehsoos hua.
Maine yaad kiya. Meri yaad mein Kabir ki bheegi hui shirt thi. Par shirt ke peeche jo tha wo samundar tha ya wo dam?
Maine aankhein band ki. Ek second ke liye.
Samundar dikha. Kaali raat mein safed lehrein. Kabir hass raha tha. Uski shirt uske badan se chipki hui thi. Maine apna phone ponchha tha kyunki uspar bhi paani ke chhente pade the.
Par jab maine dhyan se dekha, background mein samundar nahi tha. Background dhundhla tha. Meri yaad mein Kabir tha, uski shirt thi, uski hasi thi, aur mera bheega hua phone tha. Par jagah?
Jagah pakadne ki koshish ki toh nahi pakadi gayi.
"Bhai," Kabir ne kaha. "Ruk. Photo hogi shayad. Dhoondhta hoon."
Wo apna phone khola. Gallery mein scroll karne laga. Beech mein wo hasa. "Yaar meri gallery ka toh puch mat. Dus hazaar photo hain, ek bhi organized nahi."
Wo scroll karta raha. Do teen baar galat folder khola. Ek meme dikhaya jo usne bhej ne ki soch ke rakh chhoda tha. Phir December ka folder khola. Do saal pehle wala.
"Aaya. Ye dekh."
Phone ghumakar meri taraf badhaya.
Photo mein char log the. Kabir, main, Neeraj, Abhishek. Kabir ki shirt geeli thi. Uske peeche paani tha. Par wo samundar nahi tha. Wo ek dam tha. Concrete ki bandh thi. Aas pass ki hariyali thi. Samundar bilkul nahi tha.
Photo ke bottom mein date thi. December 14, 2022. Lonavala.
Maine phone dekha.
Maine dobara dekha.
Meri yaad mein wahi log the, wahi Kabir, wahi bheegi hui shirt, wahi mera bheega hua phone. Sab kuch match kar raha tha. Sirf jagah alag thi.
"Yaad aaya?" Kabir ne poocha.
"Haan," maine kaha. "Yaad aa gaya."
Maine phone use wapas de diya. Wo apni chai peene laga.
"Tu sach mein thak gaya hai, bhai. Aaj jaldi so ja."
"Haan."
Kabir ne bill mangaya. Usne pay kiya. Bahar nikle. Uski bike wahin khadi thi.
"Chalu chhodun kahin?" usne poocha.
"Nahi. Main paidal chala jaunga. Achha lagta hai."
"Theek hai. Aur Ananya wale kaam par dhyan de. Aaj poochh le. Sochne se kuch nahi hoga."
"Haan."
Usne bike start ki aur chala gaya.
Main wahin khada raha kuch der. Sadak par traffic tha. Auto walon ke horn. Do teen log paas se guzre.
Main paidal chalne laga.
Chalte chalte maine yaad karne ki koshish ki. Goa. Wo raat. Samundar. Kabir ki shirt. Mera phone.
Har baar meri yaad mein wahi cheezein aati thi. Wahi log. Wahi maahol. Wahi mazaak. Bas jab main aas paas ki jagah pakadne ki koshish karta, toh jagah samundar hoti thi. Photo mein wo dam thi, par meri yaad mein samundar hi tha.
Maine socha ki shayad main galat hoon. Kabir ki photo hai. Date hai. Location hai. Main galat hoon. Bas.
Par phir ek khyal aaya, aur ye khyal itna aahista aaya ki mujhe khud pata nahi chala kab wo mere andar baith gaya:
Agar meri yaad do saal pehle wali baat mein galat ho sakti hai, jab koi Interval nahi tha, koi Chowkidaar nahi tha, koi ajeeb jagah nahi thi, toh Ananya wali yaad par main kaise bharosa karoon?
Maine wo khyal dabaya. Chalta raha.
Aur phir doosra khyal aaya, aur is baar main use daba nahi paya:
Aur Anwesha wali yaad?
Main gali ke ek turn par ruk gaya. Sadak par se ek bus guzri, uski hawa mere chehre par lagi.
Maine phone nikala. Contacts kholi. New contact banane laga.
Naam: Anwesha.
Number: 9954, 2323, 8875.
Save.
Number save kar ke maine dial nahi kiya. Bas save kar ke phone jeb mein daal liya.
Bhai bhut badhiya likh rahe ho. Jis tarah se detailed desription apne diya hai, mujhe aisa laga ke main kahani padh nahi raha balke ek film dekh raha hoon. Intzaar rahega agle updates ka.
Bistar se uthte hi sabse pehle dhyan dining table par gaya, jahan dono phones ek doosre ke bilkul paas chupchap pade the. Ek pal ke liye laga ki doosra phone bag mein rakh loon, par phir khayal badal gaya. Apna purana phone pocket mein daala, gate lock kiya aur seedhe office ke liye nikal gaya.
Kaam mein dhyan lagana mushkil nahi tha. Jab screen par code chal raha ho, toh dimaag ko faltu baaton ka waqt nahi milta. Error dhoondhne aur unhe theek karne mein kab dopahar ho gayi, pata hi nahi chala.
Karan ne pichhle hafte ke backup ke baare mein poocha, maine use files share kar di. Sharma ji ne ek naye client ke baare mein bataya, maine sar hila diya. Sab kuch bilkul normal chal raha tha.
Lunch ke waqt pantry mein bheed thi. Karan aur Meera kisi naye show ki ending lekar bahas kar rahe the. Meera ka kehna tha ki poori series kharab kar di, jabki Karan us direction ko defend kar raha tha. Main unke paas baitha apna dabba khol kar khana khata raha. Unki baatein, unka chhota sa jhagda, sab kuch kitna aam aur thos tha. Ek aisi duniya jahan log kisi kahani ke khatam hone par sach mein naaraz ho jaate hain. Mujhe us normal bheed ka hissa bankar sukoon mil raha tha.
Shaam ke saade aath baje jab flat par wapas aaya, toh gali mein wahi purani peeli street light jal rahi thi. Mishra ji ki dukan se ek packet doodh aur dahi liya. Unhone hamesha ki tarah poocha, "Malhotra saab, aaj badi der ho gayi?"
"Haan Mishra ji, office mein thoda kaam tha," maine kaha, aur change jeb mein rakh kar aage badh gaya.
Ghar pahonch kar khichdi chadhayi. Thodi der mein jab cooker ki seeti baji, toh poore kamre mein geele chawal aur ghee ki wahi mehak phail gayi jo Pune wale ghar mein mummy ke haath ke khane se aati thi. Seeti ki aawaz se kamre ka sannata thoda kam hua.
Khichdi plate mein nikaal kar abhi baitha hi tha ki phone vibrate karne laga. Screen par Mummy ka naam dikha. Ek lambi saans lekar call uthaya.
"Haan mummy. Namaste."
"Beta, namaste. Khana kha liya?" unki aawaz mein wahi purani thakan aur fikar thi jo mujhe hamesha dadi ke kamre ki yaad dilati thi.
"Khichdi? Tu akela reh kar bas yahi sab khata rehta hai. Pune kab aa raha hai?"
"Dekhta hoon. Office mein abhi thoda lamba kaam chal raha hai."
"Kaam toh chalta rahega. Tere papa bol rahe the ki unhe ek baar doctor ko dikhane jaana hai. Woh jo pichhle saal November mein unka operation hua tha, ab ek saal baad check up ka waqt ho gaya hai."
Hawa mein utha chammach wahi ruk gaya.
"Papa ka operation? Kaunsa operation?"
Dusri taraf se ek halki si chidh bhari saans sunai di. "Kya Dhruv, tu apna dimaag Mumbai mein hi chhod aata hai kya? Wahi jo unki aankh ka operation hua tha pichhle saal. Tu khud saath mein khada tha."
"Mummy, main pichhle saal November mein Pune nahi aaya tha. Main toh yahan office mein hi tha."
"Kya bakwas kar raha hai," mummy ki aawaz mein hairani aur thoda gussa tha. "November mein tu Diwali par aaya nahi tha? Badi Diwali ki subah tu bus se seedha ghar pahoncha tha. Phir do din baad hum hospital gaye the. Tune hi toh card se payment ki thi doctor ki fees ki. Barah hazaar rupaye."
Maine chammach plate mein wapas rakh diya.
"Mummy, main sach mein nahi aaya tha. Mujhe achhi tarah yaad hai ki Diwali ke din main apne flat par akela tha. Maine aapko video call kiya tha shaam ko."
"Video call toh tune Chhoti Diwali ki raat ko kiya tha, jab tu bus mein baitha tha. Yaad kar. Tune hi toh bola tha bus mein network ka problem hai, thoda ruk ke baat karta hoon. Aur agle din subah tu ghar aa gaya tha. Mujhe sab yaad hai, hospital ke canteen mein tune apni shirt par chai bhi girayi thi."
Mummy ki aawaz mein koi doubt nahi tha. Woh gussa nahi kar rahi thi, na hi koi mazaak. Woh bas ek aisi sachchai bol rahi thi jo unke liye bilkul tay thi.
"Shayad main bhool gaya," maine dheere se kaha.
"Haan, tu bas kaam mein khoya rehta hai. Thoda dhyan rakha kar. Papa se baat karega?"
"Nahi mummy, unhe sone do. Main kal baat karunga. Thoda thak gaya hoon."
"Theek hai, so ja. Khana poora khatam karna."
Call katne ke baad main kaafi der tak table par baitha raha. Khichdi thandi ho chuki thi.
Dimaag mein bas ek hi tasveer ghoom rahi thi. Main pichhle saal November mein Pune nahi gaya tha. Mujhe saaf yaad tha ki Diwali par main akela tha, maine raste mein koi bus nahi li thi. Ghar ke paas wali dukan se ek chhota mitti ka diya kharid kar balcony mein jalaya tha. Us diye ki peeli roshni aur us raat ki khamoshi mujhe bilkul saaf yaad thi.
Maine phone uthakar netbanking app kholi. Login password daalne ke baad statement ka option nikala. November 1, 2023 se November 30, 2023 tak ka filter lagaya.
Statement load hua.
Scroll karte hue meri nazar transactions par ruki. Auto ka bhada, office ke paas ki chai, DMart ka bill.
Phir aaya November 11, 2023. Chhoti Diwali ki raat.
Do din baad hospital. Cafe Goodluck ka khana. Sab kuch waisa hi jaisa mummy keh rahi thi.
Screen par saare numbers bilkul saaf chamak rahe the. Bank ki entry keh rahi thi ki main un dinon mein Pune mein tha, bus se gaya tha, hospital mein payment ki thi, cafe mein khaya tha.
Maine Google Maps khola aur timeline check ki. 11 November se 15 November 2023 tak ka data nikala.
Maps ki timeline par peeli line dikha rahi thi ki main un poore paanch dinon mein Lower Parel mein apne flat par hi tha. 11 November ki shaam ko main office se ghar aaya tha. 12 tareek ko subah ek baar main Mishra ji ki dukan tak gaya tha, phir shaam ko balcony par tha. 13 aur 14 tareek ko main ghar par tha. 15 ki subah main phir office nikla tha.
Maine phone table par rakh diya.
Mera bank statement kuch aur keh raha tha. Google Maps kuch aur.
Main bed par let gaya. Chhat par pankha ghoom raha tha, click, click, click.
Maine dining table par rakhe dono phones ko dekha.
Ab tak mujhe lag raha tha ki doosra phone problem tha.
Par bank aur Maps dono maine apne phone mein khole the.
Doosre phone ko toh maine abhi tak chhua bhi nahi tha.
Main kuch der chhat ko dekhta raha. Phir bistar se utha. Bathroom gaya. Muh dhoya. Kitchen mein paani piya.
Phir dining table tak gaya.
Doosra phone wahin pada tha. Jahan kal tha, jahan parso tha. Uski screen par ek patli si dhool jam gayi thi, jaise kisi ne use teen din se chhua na ho.
Maine use uthaya.
Halka tha. Mere phone jitna hi halka. Back panel par wahi chhota sa scratch tha jo meri jeb ki chabi se do mahine pehle laga tha. Maine use apne phone ke scratch se match karne ki koshish nahi ki.
Power button dabaya.
Screen jali. Lock screen par wahi photo thi jo mere phone par hai. Lonavala ki, jahan hum char log khade hain aur Kabir ka haath hawa mein utha hua hai.
Battery 61 percent.
PIN maanga. Maine apna normal PIN daala. Wahi chaar digit jo main pichle teen saal se use kar raha hoon.
Phone khul gaya.
Maine kuch der screen ko dekha. Kuch socha nahi, bas dekha. Home screen par wahi apps the, wahi arrangement mein. WhatsApp ka icon doosri row mein, gallery neeche left corner mein, calculator jo main almost kabhi use nahi karta.
Notes app khola. Sabse upar wali note par click kiya.
Ek grocery list thi. "Doodh, bread, ande, dhaniya, nimbu, haldi patii." Haldi patii mein wahi typo tha jo maine chhe mahine pehle jaldi mein type kiya tha. "Patii" do i ke saath. Maine us waqt socha tha baad mein theek kar lunga. Theek nahi kiya tha.
Ye note mere phone mein bhi hai. Same typo ke saath.
Maine WhatsApp khola. Kabir ka chat sabse upar tha. Last message wahi tha jo kal aaya tha. "Bhai, aaj free hai? Chai peeni hai." Mera jawab: "Haan. Kahan?"
Mummy ka chat bhi wahi tha. Unke aakhiri voice note jo unhone pichle hafte bheja tha, wo bhi yahan tha. Maine play kiya. Wahi aawaz. "Beta, thoda time nikaal ke aaja, tere papa teri yaad kar rahe hain."
Sab kuch same tha.
Phir mujhe ek baat yaad aayi.
Wo message. "Yaad rahi na? Bhool mat jaana. A."
Maine message app kholi. Search bar mein "A" type kiya. Phir "Yaad rahi" type kiya.
Kuch nahi mila.
Maine poori inbox scroll ki. Wo message is phone mein nahi tha.
Mere phone mein wo message abhi bhi hai. Maine check kiya. Haan, wahi hai, wahi timestamp ke saath, wahi unknown number ke saath.
Par is phone mein wo kabhi aaya hi nahi.
Maine phone table par rakh diya. Ek minute tak kuch nahi kiya. Phir dobara uthaya.
Gallery khola.
Zyaadatar photos same thi. Screenshots, memes, office ki group photos, kabhi kabhi li gayi random tasveerein jo delete karna bhool gaya.
Maine November 2023 ka folder khola.
Andar gyarah photos thi. Mere phone mein bhi November 2023 ka folder hai, usme nau photos hain. Maine dono phones ko bagal mein rakh kar count kiya.
Do extra photos thi is phone mein.
Pehli photo November 14 ki thi. Kothrud Eye Clinic ke reception area mein li gayi thi. Mummy left mein khadi thi, unke haath mein ek file thi. Papa beech mein the, unki daayi aankh par safed patti bandhi hui thi. Aur main right mein khada tha.
Meri shirt par ek brown sa daag tha. Chai ka.
Maine photo ko zoom kiya. Daag collar ke paas tha, bilkul waisa jaisa mummy ne describe kiya tha call par. Background mein clinic ka board dikh raha tha. "Kothrud Eye Clinic, Dr. S. Patil." Papa ke chehre par wahi thaka hua expression tha jo unke paas doctor ke yahan hamesha hota hai.
Ye photo mere phone mein nahi hai.
Maine doosri extra photo kholi.
Ye bhi November 14 ki thi, par raat ki. Timestamp ke hisab se raat ke nau bajkar baarah minute. Photo thodi dhundhli thi, kam roshni mein li gayi thi.
Pune wale ghar ki balcony thi.
Main pehchan gaya. Balcony ki railing par wahi purana lohe ka jaal tha jo papa ne lagvaya tha jab main school mein tha. Railing ke upar mummy ka tulsi ka gamla rakha tha. Aur balcony ke right corner mein, zameen par, ek chhota sa mitti ka diya jal raha tha.
Photo mein koi insaan nahi tha. Bas balcony thi, aur diya tha, aur uske peeche Pune ki raat ki dhundhli si sadak thi.
Mitti ke diye toh hazaaron hote hain. Har Diwali par har ghar mein wahi diye jalte hain, wahi shape, wahi rang. Maine pehli baar dekhkar kuch khaas mehsoos nahi kiya.
Phir maine zoom kiya.
Diye ka ek kona toota hua tha. Chhota sa chip, left side par. Aur us chip ke paas, diye ki satah par, neele rang ka ek bohot chhota sa dot tha.
Mera haath ruk gaya.
Mujhe wo diya yaad tha. Diwali ki shaam ko maine Mishra ji ki dukan se liya tha. Ek thaili mein do teen diye the. Ghar aate waqt toh maine bag ki taraf dhyan nahi diya. Ghar pahonch ke jab thaili kholi toh ek diya doosre diye se takra ke ek kone se chip ho chuka tha. Maine socha tha phenk doon, par phir laga chhota sa chip hai, kuch nahi hoga. Aur wo neela dot? Wo paint ka ek chhenta tha jo shayad dukan ke counter par laga hua tha aur diye par transfer ho gaya tha.
Ye wahi diya tha.
Mere Mumbai wale flat ki balcony par jo diya maine jalaya tha Diwali ki raat ko, wo ab Pune wale ghar ki balcony ki photo mein dikh raha tha.
Maine dono phones ko table par rakh diya.
Kamre mein bilkul khamoshi thi. Pankha chal raha tha, click, click, click. Baahar gali mein koi bacha ro raha tha.
Main utha.
Balcony ki taraf gaya.
Darwaza khola. Subah ki dhoop seedhi aankhon mein aayi. Balcony chhoti hai, mushkil se do log khade ho sakte hain. Railing par dhool jammi hai. Ek kone mein ek purana gamla hai jisme kuch mahine pehle ek paudha tha jo sookh gaya.
Main us kone mein gaya jahan diya rakha tha.
Zameen par dhool thi. Aur dhool ke beech mein ek halka sa gol nishan tha, jaise koi chhoti si cheez wahan rakhi ho aur phir hata di gayi ho.
Diya wahan nahi tha.
Maine jhuk kar dekha. Nishan ke bilkul bagal mein, dhool mein, ek chhota sa terracotta ka tukda pada tha. Itna chhota ki agar main dhyan se na dekhta toh nazar hi nahi aata. Maine use ungli se uthaya.
Ek taraf se toota hua tha. Aur uspar neele rang ka ek bohot chhota sa dot tha.
Maine tukde ko wahan rakh diya.
Shayad maid ne saaf karte waqt hata diya hoga. Shayad hawa se gir gaya hoga aur toot gaya hoga. Shayad maine khud kabhi phenk diya hoga aur bhool gaya hoon. Ye sab mumkin hai.
Photo mein diya Pune mein tha.
Uska tukda mere haath mein Mumbai mein.
Dono baatein ek saath kaise sahi ho sakti thi?
Main balcony se andar aaya. Darwaza band kiya.
Dining table par dono phones abhi bhi pade the. Dono ki screen band thi. Dono bilkul ek jaise dikh rahe the.
Maine doosre phone ko utha kar apni jeb mein rakh liya.
Saturday ki subah aamtaur par der se shuru hoti hai. Flat mein koi kaam nahi hota, na hi office jaane ki jaldi. Par us subah main das baje tak bistar par leta raha aur bas chhat ko dekhta raha.
Main utha, tayaar hua aur dono phones apni jeans ki right pocket mein daal liye. Chalne par jab dono aapas mein takrate, toh ek halki si plastic ki aawaz aati. Wo aawaz mujhe batati rehti ki jo kuch bhi hai, wo meri pocket mein hi chal raha hai.
Par main nikla nahi.
Kitchen mein chai banayi. Pi. Bartan dhoya.
Phir bistar par let gaya. Phone A scroll kiya, phir rakh diya. Phone B ko haath mein liya, screen dekhi, phir rakh diya.
Do baje lunch banaya. Khaya. Phir wapas let gaya.
Chaar baje ke aas paas mujhe laga ki agar main is kamre mein ek aur ghanta raha toh deewarein sach mein paas aa jayengi.
Local train mein bheed thi, par normal se thodi kam kyunki weekend tha. Khidki se aati hui hawa mein samandar ki nami pehle se milne lagti hai jab train Marine Lines ke paas pahonchti hai. Main station par utra aur paidal chalta hua Marine Drive tak gaya.
Log wahan pehle se baithe the. Kuch log jogging ke kapdon mein the, kuch bas pattharon par baithkar paani ko dekh rahe the. Main ek khaali jagah dekhkar baith gaya. Samandar ka paani thoda matmela sa grey tha, dhoop ke dhalne se pehle ki roshni mein chamak raha tha.
Maine pocket se dono phones nikale aur ghutnon par rakh diye.
Pehle maine Phone A khola. Contacts mein gaya. Search kiya: Anwesha.
Kal raat jo number maine save kiya tha, wo wahan dikh raha tha. 9954, 2323, 8875.
Phir maine Phone B khola. Contacts mein gaya. Search bar mein "Anwesha" type kiya.
"No contacts found."
Main kuch der screen ko dekha. Phir "Anu" likha. Kuch nahi.
Ye hona hi tha, par phir bhi check karna zaroori laga.
Maine Phone B ki battery dekhi. 42 percent.
Subah maine charger lagakar dekha tha kitchen mein. Charging ka chhota sa icon turant aa gaya tha, bilkul normal. Ek aisi cheez jo sach mein honi hi nahi chahiye, wo mere saste se adapter se charge accept kar rahi thi.
Maine cable nikal di thi. Abhi ke liye itna kaafi tha.
Maine dono phones ke WhatsApp khol liye.
Chats lagbhag same the. Kabir ka chat khola dono phones par.
Phone A par pichhle mahine Kabir ne ek photo bheji thi, ek purani bike ki jise wo kharidne ki soch raha tha. Maine reply kiya tha: "Theek hai, par maintenance bahut hogi."
Phone B par wahi photo thi. Par uske neeche ek aur message tha jo Phone A par nahi tha.
Kabir: "Bhai Priya ko photo mat dikhana, warna chillaegi."
Mera reply: "Haan, main chup rahoonga."
Main us reply ko dekhta raha.
Wo meri hi typing thi, meri hi aadat ke hisab se likhi hui line. Par mujhe yaad nahi thi ki maine ye kab likha.
Messages padhte padhte mujhe pehli baar laga ki farak phone mein nahi tha.
Farak meri zindagi mein tha.
Suraj dheere dheere samandar ki taraf jhukne laga. Aakash ka rang pehle peela hua, phir narangi. Thandi hawa chalne lagi thi.
Pata hi nahi chala kab do ghante beet gaye.
Phone B ki battery ab bees percent par thi.
Main dono phones uthakar pocket mein rakhne hi wala tha.
Tabhi Phone B vibrate hua.
Ek vibration. Doosri.
Maine screen dekhi.
Koi call nahi tha. Ek WhatsApp message tha. Kabir ka naam upar likha tha.
"Bhai, kal 11 baje aa jaana. Priya ko mat batana."
Maine apna Phone A check kiya. Wahan koi notification nahi tha.
Phone B par wo message sach mein aaya tha. Naya, unread, abhi ka.
