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Detailed review 
I opened my laptop only to write a long review for this whole story.
The story started with a young boy Mani, developing physical attraction towards a girl. The story has a sexual flavour in the beginning, but slowly it transforms into love.
In the beginning of the story, when Mani touches Niti in her sleep feels immature, raw and real. Like a young boy's nervous first sexual encounters. Niti responds to him and eventually starts liking him, I really wish the reason for her liking him was detailed a little more. As a woman, I tend to fall for a man who really does something for me out of the way, because sweet talk is free and something that most men do.
There is that part about Mani buying her a gold ring, now that is impressive. Of course, love doesn't come only by gifts, it comes with love and care that was shown in great detail in the story. Like the scenes were Mani takes care of her when she is sick, and get burned due to accident. He always respects her and never does anything against her will. The sex scenes were passionate, but I was unfortunately unable to connect with them.
The best thing about this story was that it was real. And everything that happened was described in a very realistic manner. It was not like a typical story with twists, because life is never like that. Life is full of subtle ups and downs, and this story describes them beautifully. It is actually a little difficult to comment on this story because it was real. Each one of us have our own set of problems, and we have our own ways of dealing with them. The end was really sad. I really don't know what could have been done about it. Personally, I am a go-getter, and if there is something I really want, I would certainly do something about it. But this is not my story, and I am not Mani, and I don't fully understand their circumstances, so it is not right for me to advise what "should have been".
This story has a soul and is one of the best stories on this forum. We really need more stories like this one.
Was there any scope for improvement? Well, I believe the editing could have been a little better, more dialogues and the flow needed to be a little better. Everything else was perfect.
Thank you for giving us a wonderful story to read. If you ever decide to write another story, I will be there to read and comment.
I opened my laptop only to write a long review for this whole story.
The story started with a young boy Mani, developing physical attraction towards a girl. The story has a sexual flavour in the beginning, but slowly it transforms into love.
In the beginning of the story, when Mani touches Niti in her sleep feels immature, raw and real. Like a young boy's nervous first sexual encounters. Niti responds to him and eventually starts liking him, I really wish the reason for her liking him was detailed a little more. As a woman, I tend to fall for a man who really does something for me out of the way, because sweet talk is free and something that most men do.
There is that part about Mani buying her a gold ring, now that is impressive. Of course, love doesn't come only by gifts, it comes with love and care that was shown in great detail in the story. Like the scenes were Mani takes care of her when she is sick, and get burned due to accident. He always respects her and never does anything against her will. The sex scenes were passionate, but I was unfortunately unable to connect with them.
The best thing about this story was that it was real. And everything that happened was described in a very realistic manner. It was not like a typical story with twists, because life is never like that. Life is full of subtle ups and downs, and this story describes them beautifully. It is actually a little difficult to comment on this story because it was real. Each one of us have our own set of problems, and we have our own ways of dealing with them. The end was really sad. I really don't know what could have been done about it. Personally, I am a go-getter, and if there is something I really want, I would certainly do something about it. But this is not my story, and I am not Mani, and I don't fully understand their circumstances, so it is not right for me to advise what "should have been".
This story has a soul and is one of the best stories on this forum. We really need more stories like this one.
Was there any scope for improvement? Well, I believe the editing could have been a little better, more dialogues and the flow needed to be a little better. Everything else was perfect.
Thank you for giving us a wonderful story to read. If you ever decide to write another story, I will be there to read and comment.
