Naik
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Baba ji n pehle khoob khari khotibsunati bhasad dia lekin baad sab clear ker dia ki yeh ek pariksha thi jiskme kamyabi mil gayi ab dekhte h aage kon kon si pariksha se gujaerna padta hpyar na milne par pichhle janam me mai pahad se kood gaya tha. is janam me bhi pyar na milne par, kashvi aur sabse pyar ka badle nafrat mazak aur dhitkar milne par mai pahad se kood kar aatmahatya kar gaya tha.
kitna bada kayar tha mai. kitne sharam ki baat thi. mai do do baar aatmahatya kar gaya tha.
ye aisi bat thi. pahli bar mujhse nafrat si hone lagi thi. mera seena jalne laga tha. likita mujhse kitna pyaar karti thi. mere liye ro ro kar gidgida kar pray kar rahi thi. usi ke liye mera firse janam hua tha. kayarta ka sabut dete hue last janam me aur is janam me mai aatmahatya kar gaya tha. mujhe chahiye the, khud ko strong banana ha. likita mere siva kisi aur se pyaar nahi karti thi. mujhse beinteha pyaaar karti thi. uski nafrat gusse ka parinam thi. meri kisi karni ka parinam thi. kuch to galat kia hoga maine likita ke sath. bohut bura. jo wo mujhse itni mohabbat karti thi. nafrat karne ke bawajud bhi mere liye ro ro bura hal kar lia tha usne.
kyaaa mai aise hi akhri saans tak kayar bana firta rahta. aise to mai likita ko kabhi pa hi nahi sakta tha
kya mai likita ki nafrat jhel sakta tha. kyaaa mai itni sahnn shakti thi mujhme, likita ki nafrat jhel paaun. abhi to mujhe sahi se purana janam bhi yaad nahi aaya tha. ye bhi yad nahi aya tha maine likita ke sath aisa kia kyaa tha. jo wo mujhse nafrat karne lagi thi. lekin likita ko mujhse pahle apna purana janam yaad aa jata. fir wo aur bhi adhik mujhse nafrat karne lagti. meri parchaaee ban mujhe dard deti. nafrat ka izhaar karti. sahn shakti me 0 hone ke kaaran kyaa mai is janam me bhi likita ko kho deta.
nahiiiii. mai is janam me to kyaa kisi bhi janam me likita ko nahi kho skata tha. mujhe khud ko strong se strong banana hona. apne mann ko itna shant banana hoga. khud ko itna balshali banana hoga. emotions ko apne vash me karna hoga. likita ki nafrat mai jhelunga. uski nafrat ke badle mai usay pyaar dunga.
sahn shakti me kamal ki bulandiyon tak pohnchunga. gusa kya hota ha mai bhul jaaunga. kayar ban mai 2 baar pahad se kood gaya tha. ab se mai kayar nahi rahunga.
dard aur zillat ki matra itni thi. mere vicharon me hulchal machate hue mere mansik santulat ko bigad dena chahte the
par himalia ki sakht sardi mere sharir ke andr utar mujhe shanti daan karne lagi. mere ghusa shant padne laga. khud se nafrat ka koi matlab nahi banta tha. agar mai khud se hi nafrat krane lag jata. khud se hi sharminda hone lag jata to fir mai kisi kam ka nahi rahta.
aisa mera andrmann mujhe bol raha tha. aur himalia ke sakht sardi mere andr utar pahli bar mujhe ek aur hi roop daan karne lagi. abhi ka akash aik naya akash ban raha tha. ek naye akash ka janam ho raha tha. janam hona zaruri tha. warna likita ki sadiyo ki tapasta bhang chali jati. mera pyaar is janam me bhi adhura rah jata. mai firse kayar ban mar jata
aur mai kayar ban nahi marna chahta tha
mai kai din khaye piye bina bhi rah sakta tha. mai pahle ghutno par gira cheekhta chillata raha tha. sivaye barf ke girte zarron ke aas paas kuch upar neeche kuch nahi tha. kuch tha to peeche gufa thi. gufa me shayad wo awaz wala tha.
mai sab kuch bhul kar wahin barf ki tah par asin jama kar beth gaya. is bar mai tab tak nahi uthne wala tha. jab tak mujhe mera maksad hasil nahi ho jana tha
mai pashchatap ki aag me jal kar rakh nahi banna chahta tha. mai himalia ki sakht sardi me jam kar kundan ban jana chahta tha. dunya wale aag me jal kr kundan bante han
lekin mujhe sakht sardi jhel kar sahn shakti me kamal mahanta tak pohnchna tha. mann ko shaant se bhi shaant banana tha. aisa na kar pata to mai kisi kam ka na rahta. likita ki nafrat mai is janam me bhi na jhel pata. pata nahi likita nafrat ka dikhawa karti hui mujhse kaise badla leti. kaise kaise mujhe sazaen deti. mai uske sadiyon ke prem ko nakaarta hua uski nafrat na jhel pate hue usse bura bol jata.
kitna galt ho jata fir sab. likita jo mere liye, mere kayar ban aatmahatya karne ke bad bhi meri hone ke liye bhagwan se prem ki devi se apna aur mera firse janam prapt kar gai thi.
mujhe likita ki nafrat jhel uske pyaar ko jeetna tha. aur jeetne ke liye vijeta banna zaruri tha. aur vijeta hone ke liye sharir se buddhi se bhavanaon se mahaan hi nahi balshali hona bhi zaruri tha. buddhiman hona bhi zaruri tha.
pata nahi mai kitne din kitni raaten aise hi betha raha
fir mere mann me wahi gufa wale baba ki awaz gooji "tum dhanny ho putra... tum pahli priksha me safal hue.. mujhe shama karna putra jo main itni karoodhta se tumse baat kari. tum kayar nahi the beta. tum bhavanaon par kabu na rakh pane wale premi the.. har manushy hi kuch achhe to kuch bure karam karta ha. parantu kuch soch se kamzor hote han. halat se ladna nahi jante han. pichhle janam me tum premiyo ke premi maha premi the putra. prantu kuch shadyantr rachne walun ne tumhari buddhi ko bharasht kar dia. tum bhavanaon me bah kar, shadyantr rachne walun ke bahkawe me aa kar apni likita ko wo dard de gaye. jise likita sahn nahi kar paai. aur tujhse nafrat karne lagi. likita tumse nafrat karne lagi. nafrat guse ka parinam thi. aur tum sahn shakti me 0 hone ke karan aatmahatya kar gaye. jab likita ko tumhara marit sharir mila to wo bhi bohut roi. sab ko chhod kar devi ke mandir ja pohnchi. aage ka drshy to tumne dekh hi lia hoga. tumhare liye tumhare prem me deewani hui wo devi ki moorti ke aage saadhna me leen ho gai. gidgida kar devi se tumhari maang karne lagi. uski maang swikar hui. tum dono ka firse janam ho gaya. tum ne dhayan nahi dia ha putra. tum pichhle 11 roz se saadhna me leen ho. sari dunya ko bhul kar pashchatap ki aag me jal khud ko nuksan na pohncha kar tumne apne mann ko shant kia ha. ek naye josh aur naye vicharon ke sath ek naye roop ko bhi tumne apne andr janam dia ha. aise hi kai aur prikshaen tumhare intezar me han putra. sabhi prikshaon se guzar kar likita ko paa jao.. yahi meri mann se pararthana ha. ab jaao putra.. yahan tum khud se nahi aaye the. tum laaye the. tumhari priksha ke liye tumhe yahan aane par majbur kar dia gaya tha.
mai hosh me aa gaya. ankhen khol kar jo dekha to mai seene tak barf me dhansa hau tha. sakht sardi mere liye totally value kho chuki thi. mai ek underwear me tha.. barf me aadhe se zayada dafan tha. narm barf ki tah mujhe dhake hue thi. mai uth khada hua.. ab ke mere vicharon me thandai hi thandai thi. koi bhi aag nahi thi mere mann me.
ye jaan kar ye meri priksha thi. aur mai priksha me safalta pa gaya tha. mai khush tha. lekin pahle ke jaise mai andr hi andr uchhal nahi raha tha. ek thahrao sa mere andr aa gaya tha. mai khush tha. lekin pagalpanti se mai pare tha is baar.
is baaar ke mere vichar alag the. mai wapis se gufa me gaya. baba se baat kari. lekin mujhe koi jawab nahi mila.. mann me aai mai gufa me aage badh ek baar baba se mulakat karun. par baba chup kar gaye the. fir maine socha shayad baba pooja me vyast ho gaye honge. mujhe unhe disturb nahi karna chahiye
yahi soch maine apne badan par barf ko hatana shuru kia. fir kapde pahn kar sara saman utha kar wahan se nikal pada.
jahan heli mujhe utaar kar gaya tha. wahan ruk maine transmitter davara sampark banaya. 4 ghanton me heli firse aaya aur mujhe leke dharish bhaiya aur meri team ke paas pohncha kar wapis laut gaya
mai ab tak mask me tha. jab main normal kapdon me aaya aur face mast hata kar sabke saamne aaya tha to sab mujhe dekhte rah gaye. sab ke moh hairat se khul gaye the.
dharish bhaiya tezi se mere karib aaye aur meri ankhon me dekh kar boli...... rohan tumhari ankhon ka rang change ho gaya ha. kitni gahrai aur bhi adhik badh aai ha tumhari ankhon me. aur chahre par ek alag hi tej aa gaya ha. ye sab kyaa ha bhai.
mai ek gahri saans leke bola..... dharish bhaiya himalia devtaon ka sthan ha. unke sharan me jaane wala khali hath to lauta nahi jata. bass samjh lijiye mujhe aur bhi bohut kuch daan kar dia gaya ha.
ye sun dharish bhaiya khush ho gaye. lekin ab wo mujhe kuch zayada hi samman dene lage the. aisa hi haal sakba bhi tha. aur mai sivaye likita ke kisi aur ko soch hi nahi pa raha tha. likita hi likita mere vicharon me thi. likita jo khud prem ki ek devi thi. devi ke charano me bethi dono hathu jode barf se jami chahre par tah ke sath mere liye gidgidati likita mere liye dunya me har ek chiz se badhkar thi.
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