Phunthru
Shri Phunthru
- 126
- 129
- 44
if its your first time, then you really are justifying the name of the story... A Virgin Boy.I will happily accept this kind of lengthy criticism.
Yaar short wale criticisms mein samajh ta hi nahi ki kya bolne ki koshish kar raha hai .
Almost half already likhi hui hai .... Kyu ki meine yeh story already ek site lar upload ki thi .... But then phir stop kardi thi.
Mera bhi yeh first time hai story likhne ka, so mujhe itna paata nahi tha ki story ko background kaise dene hai ... New new characters kaise aad karne hai. Xforum par hi first time inte lengthy format with so much background story about each character read ki hai.
Abhi jahan tak story likhi hui hai .... Usmein bas Maami and Ishaan hi hai .... There interaction and sex scenes, that's it.
I have imagined this story thinking ki Maami is experienced so she will dominate Ishaan .... After Ishaan get out of his fear of a girl and starts to understand how to tease a lady and satisfy her thrust, tab woh Maami ko dominant karega ....(this part is not yet written, so I can incorporate your ideas here. But these ideas will reflect after I guess 20 parts).
Next part actually todha controversial hai .... it's about ishaan masturbating in the room imagining Maami.
Meine socha hai hindi mein bhi post karta hu .... But hinglish ke liye phirse puri story likhni hogi .... So bas 100% shud hindi translation from google use karne ka soch raha hu.
and yeah sure mate... jitna likhoge utna navigate kar sakoge...
but the process of getting to sex is much more effective than the sex itself... the seductions and ifs and buts ... sex will barely stretch to 2-3 updates, the seduction can be as long as its kept interesting.
aur jahan tak controversy ki baat hai to i guess its pretty okay in these type of setups (not really though)
unless you do some force shit, jaisa ke ek writer ne kal apni ek story mein drug karwa kar sex karne ka scene daala hai, which is practically rape... so thats problematic now.
aur Hindi ke liye google sahi hai.. karo ctrl c, ctrl v...