Chapter 6: Blue Oasis
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Ami chilaam najor-bondi, sundori ek tanvi
Tomaar thonter alto choain, jibon holo dhoinii|
Raat r belai swapne eshye, ghumti nile kere,
Jabar agye takiye chile, haath ta ektu nere|
Khunjye kothai tomai pabo, seta nahi jani,
Khabor jakhon ello tomar, hariye gechi ami|
Chooker jol baandh mane na, book ta j jai fete
Jibon ta k mithye kore, ekla j jai hente|
Holaam na ma, holaam na bou, holaam na shye Pori,
Mithye janom, mithye e shoob, ki kore aaj mori|
Kanna hasher elomelo porot chilo chookhe,
Amar kotha amarii thaak, jane na jeno look e||
The English translation of the above is as follows
I was a beautiful girl, captive in house arrest,
Your soft touch of lips made my life meaningful.
You came in my dreams and stole my sleep,
Before you went away, you only waved your hand.
I did not know, where to search for you,
When your news came, I was lost in oblivion.
I could not control my tears, my bosom ruptured
By making the life full of lies, I walked alone on the path.
I failed as a mother, failed as a wife, even failed as your “Pori”
My life was full of lies and deceit, how could I die?
My eyes were filled up with tears of sorrow and joy,
Let my pains go with me, no one should know about…
I returned to Dhanbad as a lifeless corpse. Himadri never came to knew about the incident of the letter. He apprehended that the catastrophe of losing my sapling had made me numb. I snapped all ties with ChotoMa and Babu. Several times Himadri asked me the reason and every time I blamed ChotoMa for my premature death of my sapling. I concealed the dark truth and the sheer pain in one corner of my heart. The pain was terrible for me but I had no one to share that pain. He believed me at last and he tried to console me to his best.
On the last week of December, I sat alone in my room. “Somewhere in some cold winter night” I thought, “Abhimanyu might have arrived in India. He would have made a call to Kalyani. What would be his reaction upon hearing the news? What will he do? He will be devastated on knowing all the truth. Will he try to meet me and ask why I did that? Will he do something drastic and loose himself forever?” My chest gurgled with a sheer sharp pain with those thought. I banged my head on the bathroom mirror and cried in silent.
Often I asked myself “What wrong I did, God, that you are testing me like this?” There was no answer from HIM. He kept smiling softly at me. I could not understand as why HE was smiling.
I spent several sleepless nights, crying alone in my room. Himadri tried to console me, but his words felt like ice-cold in my ears. I felt those words did not have those warmth of compassion and love. Often I rubbed my flat abdomen, my womb, I felt empty, whenever I walked.
I failed myself in every front of my life. I failed to be a good daughter. I was born and my father passed away. I was the youngest child among my siblings so everyone cursed me for my father’s premature death. I failed myself as a lover. I lost faith for my heartthrob and I failed to wait for Abhimanyu. I failed to be a mother. My unborn sapling ended his breath before he could behold the light of the day. I failed to be a wife. I tried to be a good wife but then I lost everything from my husband’s side also.
For several nights, I trembled in my sleep. Whenever I tried to close my eyes, I felt the soft ripples in my empty abdomen. I pressed hard on my empty abdomen to stop the ripple. My ears echoed with the painful squirms “Ma, I want to live.” I pressed my ears with all my strength, tried hard to keep those words away. Alas, all those cries came from my soul; I could not keep away those cries from creeping in my heart and soul. At times, Himadri felt my silent tears. He used to hug me close to his chest. Nevertheless, his warmth felt like ice-cold touch to me.
Behaviour of my mother-in-law began to change after few months of my return. She was then more aggressive on me as I went timid and paranoid. I kept more to myself and ignored most of my surroundings. Most of her words went to my deaf ears, which started to make her burn in angst on me. She started to blame me for the loss of her first grandchild.
My school started after the winter vacation. Kalyani called few times after I returned to Dhanbad, but as she kept her promise that she made to me, she never uttered any word about Abhi. I was in dark and I wanted myself to be kept in dark.
It was few days after Holi; I was waiting for my rickshaw to arrive for my return to house. I saw that Niladri was waiting in front of my school. I was surprised to see him. He smiled at me. I returned a courtesy smile at him.
I asked him---“For whom you are waiting here?”
He came near me and said---“For you and who else.”
I was taken aback by his answer---“But rickshaw?”
---“No rickshaw from today. I will ferry my beautiful Boudi, everyday to school. Dad asked me to be your driver and I also thought this will be good.”
His face was beaming with a benevolent smile and empathy. I felt a soft throb somewhere deep inside me for that childish smile.
He looked at me and said---“What are you waiting for, come sit.”
I sat on the pillion of his bike.
On reaching home, my father-in-law told me that from that day, Niladri would schlep me for school every day. As he was in his father’s business, so he had time for me. Himadri also seconded his thought.
Night after night, I could not sleep on my bed. Whenever I closed my eyes, either it was Abhimanyu’s face in front of my eyes or the soft thump of the unborn sapling on my womb. I was nearing a mental breakdown. All I could gather up was nothing. My husband, Himadri was not by my side. He started to booze heavily. Every day he used to come late from his office. Every day he used to give me excuse that he was busy with his office works.
One night I was busy in checking the school copies. As usual, he returned late from his office.
I asked him---“What are you so late?”
He was inebriated state, he looked at me and said---“Why do you think I should come home at all?”
---“For me at least, I am your wife.”
He gave a disgraced look at me and said---“How can I douse my pains, Suchi. You can cry but can I?”
I came near him and touched his hand. His eyes were dripping with some rage and pain. “What was he thinking?”
He said to me in a very cold voice---“I told you before hand, that I do not want a child so early. However you paid no heed to my words and you have brought a disgrace.”
My ears burnt in shame and anger as those words poured hot lava in my ears.
---“What are you saying, Himu? Was that my fault only? Was that not your child also?”
---“You could have gone for an abortion.”
My head spanned on hearing him---“Why you did not take precautions? And now you are blaming me for all those mishaps.”
---“I don’t want to discuss that further, Suchi. Leave me alone.”
He snapped those last words and went out of the room. That day I sensed that the crack has developed between my husband and me. The last person on the world, on whom I could faith, left me alone in the room. I cried whole night. At the dawn, I asked myself “For whom, am I crying?” My soul did not have the answer of my query. After few days, I stopped annoying him about his late coming. I drowned myself in house chores and school works.
Next day morning, Niladri was driving me to school. He contemplated my painful face.
---“What happened, Boudi?”
I lost my voice and clutched his shoulder to control myself---“Nothing.”
---“I know very well, what happened last night. I was in my room, Boudi.”
I closed my eyes; my face was red in shame and fear. “What? He has heard our fight! How is he going to react?”
As we were entering the ISM campus, he suddenly stopped the bike. I asked him as why he stopped the bike.
He looked at me over his shoulder and said---“Boudi, do you have to goto school today?”
I constricted my brows and looked at him, trying hard to fathom his intention.
He was still looking at me and there was no smile or unlawful expression on his face.
I said very coolly---“I have to goto school, Niladri.”
---“I want to talk to you Boudi.”
---“What do you want to talk about?”
---“The beautiful smile that I saw on your lips, the jovial girl is lost. I apprehend that there is much more than what is shown.”
I kept my voice very stern and said---“Drop me to the school, Niladri. We can talk at home.”
He started the bike and dropped me in the front of my school.
Before returning he said---“I will wait for your answer, Boudi.”
I could not look in his eyes and slowly I went away.
I never talked about my pain with Niladri.
Himadri’s thirty-third birthday passed away without any ripple. As a timid and faithful wife, I presented him a tie on his birthday. It was my duty as a wife, which I administered. I waited for him until midnight, he did not return. Later he called at dead night and informed Niladri that he would stay at one of his friend’s house. Already my heart was numb, so that news did not perturb me much.
One person who never left my side was my sweet sister-in-law, Churni. She used to call me every other day. Her words acted as a soothing medicine to my shattered soul. However, she was well aware that nothing could mend my crippled heart. Sometime Kalyani also called me. I never asked her about Abhimanyu and she never talked about Abhimanyu. I tried to ask but I do not know what refrained me from asking. Her baby angel was nearing her first summer in this beautiful world. I filled my empty soul with her sweet babbles over the phone.
My summer vacation neared. I asked Himadri, that I wanted to goto my native place. He did not question me. Niladri accompanied me to my house.
On the way, he asked me---“Boudi, who is the new teacher in your school?”
I could not understand as of whom he was talking, so I asked him---“Who?”
---“Oh Boudi! A new girl has joined your school.”
I tried hard to dig in my thoughts as I kept mostly to myself in school.
---“That girl, who wears beautiful salwar kurta always. Long hair, curved chin and small nose. She has glasses.”
I tried to imagine as of whom he was talking and then I asked him---“Why do you want to know?”
---“Boudi, she is beautiful. What is her name?”
I closed my eyes and tried to think hard and then it dawned that a new English teacher joined our school in junior section.
I smiled at him and asked---“Why? Have you fallen for her?”
He tried hard to conceal his coy face, which was evident from his glistening eyes. He nodded his head.
“Ok, once I return back I will find out. But tell me what is so special about her.” I pushed him.
He held my palms in his and pleaded---“Boudi, she has got her canine over another tooth which makes her smile very beautiful. Her smile is like, Mousumi Chatterjee. Please Boudi, do something.”
---“Ok, I will do that, but you have to do me a favour.”
He nodded his head---“I will do anything for you Boudi.”
I looked out of the window of the train; the electric posts were racing back. The train was cutting between green fields.
I took a deep breath and asked Niladri---“What is the actual nature of your work?”
I was looking at him with a deep piercing soul-shattering gaze. I wanted to know badly as what was the actual nature of work of my father-in-law. Niladri was at his back-foot as he heard that question from me. He fumbled for words. When I saw him, babbling, I fathomed very well, that my apprehensions were very much true. I did not ask anything after that. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lips “What type of family I have been married to?”
Pubali turned one-year. She was a very sweet cute little angel. She was then roaming all over the place with small steps. Kalyani and Maithili were very happy to see me. On the day of Pubali’s first birthday, I clasped the baby in my bosom and cried a lot. I took out a gold necklace that I was wearing on my neck and graced her tiny neck with that.
I pressed my lips on her chubby cheeks and sobbed out to her tiny ears---“My little angel, I don’t have anything to give to you. I am a penurious aunt of your, darling.”
Kalyani very easily figured out the pains of my heart. She understood that I was missing everything in my life. I was missing my vacant womb; I was missing my heart-throb. She did not try to say any word as she felt that saying would not do anything. She let me cry and shed my tears. My eyes were all soaked with tears; Kalyani came to console me at last.
I gave a blank look at her and asked---“How can I die?”
She slapped me hard on my cheek and clasped me with her bosom. She almost crushed me. I cried out on her shoulder. She let those tears flow.
Himadri came to my native place to take me back to Dhanbad. I felt that I had lost him totally. He did not talk to me as he used to have in the first year. I also felt not talking to him as my heart was lost in abyss of dark ocean of pain.
One the last evening, before my summer vacation was to end, I was trotting at the backyard of my house. Slowly I came near the old mango tree. I looked up to the tree and smiled painfully on finding that there were less mangoes than previous years. I told to that tree “You are also crying?” I rubbed my empty womb and said to him “See, I have also failed to bear any fruit. You and me are on the same boat, is not that?” I sat beneath the tree and looked at the pond. My legs were folded and I rested my chin on my knees. My gaze was all-blank. I was lost into some aimless thoughts. I felt a nudge on my shoulder, I looked up. Maithili stood there with her prying gaze upon me.
She asked me---“Why are you sitting like that?”
My voice was cold---“What should I do?”
---“Talk to Himadri. Both of you should try to understand each-other and cope with situation.”
She sat beside me and took my face between her palms---“I know you won’t be able to forget him after what has happened. However, time and compassion will make everything alright.”
---“Is that so? I cannot sleep properly Churni. Whenever I close my eyes, I feel ripples in my womb. Those soft ripples kill me grain my grain every moment. I hear my baby’s voice, calling me, Churni.”
She bit her lips and controlled her tears---“Paree, most of the goes through this. It is natural.”
My lips quivered---“You know why that happened. What about that, Churni?”
She shook head gently and said---“I don’t have any explanation for that Paree.”
I tried to ask the question “Did he call you?”
Maithili understood from my quivering lips as what I was going to ask her.
She clenched her jaws---“Better forget what happened.”
---“How can I forget Abhi? He waited there for me with his stretched arms, to take me in his embrace and you ask me to forget him? WHY this has to happen with me only?”
We observed that Himadri was approaching us, so our conversation stopped there only. I wiped my eyes and stood.
He joked at us---“What all is happening between sister-in-laws? Do I smell something fishy?”
Maithili answered---“What is happening between you two, Himadri?”
He was taken aback by her query. He gave a queer look at both of us.
Maithili continued---“Paree, is very soft girl, Himadri. You have to understand her and console her.”
He gave a stern look at me and then said to Maithili---“See, I did not ask for whatever happened. Anyway, it is between a husband and a wife. We will solve it.”
From his last words, I inferred that he would make my life hell so I pinched Maithili to keep quiet.
Months passed, without any improvement in our relation. I joined school and Niladri used to come every day to drive me back home. Every day he used to pause for sometime before starting hi bike.
One day I asked him---“For whom are you waiting? I am here.”
He scratched his scalp and brought his coy face near me and whispered---“Boudi, you have forgotten my request.”
I smiled at him as I really forgot what all he asked for.
---“Look over your shoulder, Boudi.”
I looked back; Pallavi Sinha was coming out of the school gate. She was the new English teacher who joined our school in junior section.
I ruffled his coarse hair and flinched by brows---“So, she was your dream?”
He held my hand and said---“Please, Boudi. Please, please, please.”
---“Ok, I will talk to her. Now drive, we have to go home, I have to buy few things from Bank More.”
After few days, I told Niladri to come late so that I could talk to Pallavi. Since she was in junior section and I was in senior section so we had less conversation among us. Moreover, I kept myself very secluded from others colleagues.
Pallavi came out and asked me---“Madam, you are waiting still? Your brother-in-law is late today?”
I looked at her and said---“Yes, probably he is busy somewhere.”
She looked bit lost and asked me---“So when is he going to come?”
I flinched my brows and asked her---“Why are you asking that? And by the way how do you know that he is my brother-in-law?”
She looked down to her feet to hide her coy face---“No, nothing. I do not know him personally. We have a common friend.”
I smiled at her and said---“So you have met him before?”
She shook her head---“No, no, no Madam.”
Moreover, that conversation made us close. After sometime, Niladri arrived. I introduced him with Pallavi. On seeing, Niladri Pallavi blushed sweetly. Her coy face shot me to my memoirs of first night. That eventful night; when we were walking at the courtyard of my native place. He stopped me at one dark corner of the courtyard, looked at my face and said to me “You are very beautiful.”
Day by day, their attraction bloomed into love. Niladri was skeptical about breaking the news to his parents. I asked Niladri as what was deterring him no to break the news.
---“Boudi, you know my dad. He is not going to accept a non-Bengali daughter-in-law in house.”
I was angry upon him---“You knew that from beginning, then why did you approached.”
---“I don’t know Boudi; I just fell for her, smitten by her sweet smile.”
I felt that the same cycle of life was being rotated in front of my eyes. I could not control myself.
I snapped at him---“What are you going to do, Niladri? Destroy one’s life?”
---“No, Boudi. It will not happen. I am going to talk to my dad.”
---“Have you talked to her parents yet?”
---“She has given some hint to her parents. But I think you need to talk to her parents as well. Not as my sister-in-law but as her friend and colleague.”
I shook my head---“I will try. I need some time to talk to her and then will step accordingly.”
Pallavi was very sweet girl and I liked her. Her father was railway employee. She used to stay in the Rail colony near the station. Few days later, I asked Pallavi to accompany to Kaveri. I asked Niladri to come directly to Kaveri.
I asked Pallavi---“What is the problem? Have you talked to your parents or not?”
Pallavi looked at my face and smiled painfully---“From my side, I don’t have much of resistance. My mother knows about and she has assured me that she will talk to my father. But, Madam, the problem is your father-in-law.”
I knew from the day I stepped, that my father-in-law’s mentality was bit prehistoric. I sensed that there would be a huge fight in our house, when this news would break.
Niladri arrived and sat by her side. Both were looking very beautiful couple, glued with amorist. Stealthily I wiped the corner of my left eye. A solitary drop tried to trickle down.
Pallavi saw me wiping my eyes; she asked me---“What happened Madam?”
I smiled at her and said---“Don’t call me Madam at least now. I am not in school.”
“Ok, Boudi.” She smiled sweetly at me.
Niladri asked me---“Boudi, what are we going to do?”
I looked at both of them; they were anxiously waiting for my suggestion. What should I say or suggest to them?
I said to them---“Wait for some time. Let me talk to both of your parents.”
I said those words; however, I was not confident enough to fight.
They were satisfied with my assurance, but I was not satisfied.
Days passed and their love grew stronger. I felt a stream of fresh air, flowing through my veins. Their face beamed with new life and the look in their face, made me think of my old days.
Two years passed by without any notable ripples, I turned thirty on August. The string of attachment between my husband and me was negligible. I was also not in terms of repairing that string. Every moment, I cursed myself for being a failed wife and a failed mother. My gore heart and soul always remind me of his waiting eyes.
On my thirtieth birthday, as usual I was in my school when my phone rang. I picked up the phone.
---“Hello.”
The answer from the other end, made my ears turned red in anger. It was ChotoMa.
“How are you ShonaMa?” Her voice was dripping with pain and sorrow.
I bit my lips and clenched my right fist on my bosom---“I am ok. Why have you called?”
She sobbed out from the other end---“I miss you very much, Paree. Won’t you come back?”
I clenched my jaws and said---“Never ChotoMa, I won’t come back to you again. Keep the phone, ChotoMa. You already had done much massacre to my life and soul. I do not want to talk to you.”
She sobbed---“I have one small question, Paree?”
I was anticipating that query from her---“I know what you are going to ask. You will ask whether Abhi has contacted me after returning to India or not? Right? For your information, Abhi is not like that person. He will not try to bring catastrophe in my marital life.” I was sobbing in sheer pain while saying those words to her. “He will die rather to bring any harm to me, after knowing that I have married. He will not question me. He will accept as what life brought to him. I do not know his whereabouts ChotoMa. I want to be left alone, ChotoMa. Please do not call me again.”
“Happy birthday, Paree.” She kept the phone.
I went inside the restroom and tried hard to suppress the turbulence inside my heart. I came to know that Abhimanyu has not contacted his parents. “Then what was he doing? Where was he? He has contacted Kalyani but not his parents. Why, what was the reason?” Thousand of queries haunted my mind. I was at loss, for those answers. “Should I call Kalyani and know ask about his whereabouts? She would probably know as he has called her.”
Then it dawned in my mind “No, I should not bring any turbulence in my life after three years. I should refrain myself from such thoughts. He might have started a new life of his own. Bereft of me, bereft of his parents and close one. Let him be happy with what he has.”
On January, the news came that Maithili was expecting. I was very happy to hear that a new life is coming in this world. SubrotoDa informed me about that. He was very happy, that he was going to be a proud father.
“Where is Churni? I want to talk to her.”
He handed the phone to her. She sounded very weak---“I am well.”
---“I do not presume that by your voice Churni? Tell me what all has happened.”
---“It is normal, Paree.”
---“Have you consulted the doctor? What are they saying?”
---“Doctors are saying that there is some problem with my urine and blood.”
I clenched my fist, I was on the verge of breakdown “No, this can’t happen to the person whom I adore most in this world.”
I cried out---“I want to meet you, I am coming.”
---“Please, Paree, I am ok. Do not take un-necessary tension. Everything will be ok, Paree.”
Just then, Himadri entered the room. He saw me crying on the phone and asked me as what has happened. I told him that Maithili was pregnant and I wanted to meet her.
---“Ok, when do you want to go?”
There was no resistance from his side, no reaction about the news. I looked at him and wiped my eyes.
---“I will go during her child-birth not now.”
“Very well.” He said. “I want to talk to you Suchi.”
I disconnected the phone and asked to Himadri as what he wanted.
---“My parents are looking for bride for Niladri.”
I knew that it was only matter of time as Niladri was also thirty-one---“So?”
---“I came to know from few peers that he is seeing someone and she happens to be teacher of your school also.”
“So you know everything?” I chewed those words while throwing them to him.
He snapped at me---“Why haven’t you informed me before?”
I pointed my index finger to him and snapped back---“When do you find time to talk to me? You always return late from office, most of the night in inebriated state. You take dinner and then slam on the bed. Have you asked for once that how I am? What have I eaten? How was my life? No. You don’t have time for me.”
My head was burning in bitter anger while pouring those vengeful words to him.
---“What do you think? Am I a stone idol? You have brought me here in your house. It was your duty to look after me and take care of me.”
He was stone cold. He gave a bewildered look at me. Probably he never sensed that I could talk to him in that fashion.
I continued---“Have I ever asked as why you are coming late? Have I ever questioned that why were you acting indifferent to me in these three years of our marriage? Have you ever tried to help me come out of my loss and pain? No. Why Himadri? Why?”
He clenched his jaws and gave a ragged look at me---“What should I tell you? You do not listen to me. I tried to apprehend you at the beginning, but you were in a total loss. Then, you never acted to be my wife whom I married. You were always in a shell covered with some pain and destitute. You never allowed anyone to delve into your domain. You never divulge me your heart even Suchi. You once told me that clap had to sound with both hands. SO if you do not tell me as what had happened to you then how could I know? I am sure there is something more than a mere miscarriage. I can tell that for sure and I can even see those in your eyes.”
My head went blank when I heard those words from his lips “Has he fathomed that I loved someone else? What will he do with me if he comes to know about the reality?”
I did not have a single speck of faith on him so I lied to him---“The reason of my miscarriage was my ChotoMa and I bore that pain in my heart. I bore, that the person whom I adored most in the world, deceived me to dungeon.”
His look was evident that he did not believe a single word of mine.
He snapped the burning words at me---“Your ChotoMa called me.”
I went numb. I was stoned by those words. My heart pumped furiously “What has she told to him? Has she revealed all my dark, beautiful past that I burnt in the sacrament pyre?”
My face was red in anger and unknown fear. He sensed everything on seeing me go pale.
---“She told me, that she was sorry for whatever has happened. She requested me to bring you back to her.”
A huge load came off my chest and I took a deep breath. “So ChotoMa was at least had some conscience left in her that she has not divulged anything.” My eyes glistened while hearing his last words. However, in my heart, it was all gore, it was all finished.
I chewed my words---“Himadri, I don’t want to go back to Kolkata. Please do not ask me.”
He sounded very cold on hearing my answer---“I do not even want to come between you two. It would be your call whether you keep your ties or not.”
I wiped my eyes and said to him---“Ok, so be it. So you will not meddle whatever I have to do in my life?”
He said---“I will not, till the time you don’t cross my path.”
I shook my head in sheer dismay and anger. I came to conclusion that he has lost his interest. “Was he lost in someone else?” I did not know at that time.
Tension brewed in my in-laws house as my mother-in-law was searching for a suitable daughter-in-law for Niladri. He was adamant of not marrying anyone. Niladri asked for my help, but I was even helpless in that house. After few months, my father-in-law finalized a girl for Niladri. Every time I looked at Himadri, expecting him to talk to his parents about the situation. However, he acted very indifferent towards all those conversations.
One evening, after school I as usual we, Pallavi and I were waiting for Niladri outside school.
She gave a helpless look at me and said in a choking voice to me---“I have to say something to you Suchi Madam.”
I flinched my brows and asked her---“What?”
She looked very sad and pain was dripping from her eyes---“My father knows your father-in-law very well. He told me that your father-in-law is a coal contractor and coal contractors are basically….”
I knew what would be her words, I fathomed the nature of my father-in-laws business long ago, but that would come between some ones love, I did not expect.
I clenched my jaws and looked up in the sky. Tried hard to find words as what to say. Niladri arrived and observed that Pallavi’s eyes were glistening and I was tensed.
When that news was broken to Niladri, he was broken and she cried. Niladri tried to console her to his level best. Niladri gave a help-less look at me.
I took a deep breath and said to them---“Go away. I will manage my in-laws. Leave Dhanbad.”
Pallavi shrieked, her eyes glistened---“I have one sister and one brother, Boudi. I can’t leave them.”
Niladri was bewildered upon hearing my answer---“But Boudi, what about you?”
I looked at Pallavi and said---“I know my in laws very well. What else do you plan to do? And I have seen much gore days in my life, I will accept whatever would happen to me.”
Niladri held my palms in his hand and tears rolled down his cheeks.
I smiled painfully at him---“Boys don’t cry, Niladri. You have to be strong enough to handle every situation.”
Pallavi threw her arms around me and hid her face on my shoulder.
I tried to console her---“I will face everything, don‘t cry. Everything will be ok.”
It was August, my thirty-first birthday. I did not expect anyone to bring any present for me. I returned from my school as usual along with Niladri. All the way, while returning, Niladri gave a naughty smile at me. I felt awkward by his glance and asked him as what has happened.
He whispered to me---“I have something special for you today.”
---“What?”
---“A surprise for my sweet, adorable, Boudi.”
Upon reaching our house, he took me to his room.
“Happy birthday, Boudi.” Then he handed a beautiful saree to me. I looked at him, shook my head, and smiled at him.
I found myself surrounded by high walls on three sides and a solitary window at one end. Through that window, I could behold a blue oasis in the middle of the scorching desert. He was Niladri.
Maithili was expecting her child on the first week of October. I planned to be there during her childbirth as she was very weak. Tension also prevailed at my native place. I sensed that some, storm might break out. I prepared myself for any storm. Every day, I used to pray to God “You have taken a lot from me, please spare my Maithili.”
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