Romance Three Girls of My Life

[Yug Purush]

I don’t know how many of you are still active here, but I’m going to complete this story.
The hardest part of restarting and finishing any story is revision...at least for me. But now I’ve done that. So there’s a 90% chance I’ll actually complete it.
I’m not giving false hope. It’s just hope… because I always come back even if it takes 4–5 years and I finish what I started.
Let’s see what happens this time.

 

[ragish7357]

Update-17​

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Ghar pahuchkar, main hath-muh dhoya aur deo-veo maarkar fb check kiya. Riya ki friend request aa chuki thi. Par ab apun thoda bhaav khaane ke mood me tha. Riya ki request toh maine Ranjan ke dhabe me hee dekh liya tha, par accept nahi kiya... matab lagna chahiye ki ladka laar tapkaye uske request ka intezaar nahi kar raha... matlab lagna chahiye ki apun bahut busy aadmi hai aur fir Sanjana ko show off karne ka bhi khayal aaya... taaki uski nazar me apna rola badh jaaye... isliye hath-muh dhokar .. mast kanghi-vanghi maar ke , naya wala t-shirt apne body me taang ke main ek baar fir Sanjana ke ghar ke liye nikal pada…. Mann me aaya ki Sanjana ke ghar naa jaun, gali-vali de sakti hai... par fir bhi... jaisa ki maine pahle hee bataya... udta hua teer lene ki aadat thi mujhe us waqt... so , main gaya... pure josh me gaya...

“hey silky….”Sanjana ne jaise gate khola main darwaja pakad kar upar chhat ki taraf dekhte hue style se bola…. “aaj apun party diya , Hotel Empire me… tu yadi mere se ladayi nahi karti toh tujhe bhi deta…”

“aukaat hai teri, dhabe me baith ke free ki roti tod raha tha aur yaha badi-badi jhad raha hai…”

“tujhe.... kisne...... bata...... diya...…”

“Ved ne pic upload ki hai…”

“haan toh humlog baad me gaye the waha… pahle hotel Empire gaye the…”

“tu kyun aaya hai… yaha…”

“sorry bolne… maine bahut socha, raat bhar socha… kal bhi socha, aaj bhi socha… jaagte hue socha… sote hue socha… school me socha, school ke baad bhi socha…. tab mujhe realize hua ki galti….”

“I’m listening…”

“tab mujhe realize hua kiiiii……… galti teri thi….”

Mera itna bolna tha ki Sanjana ne gate jor se mere muh me band kar diya….

“achchha sun toh….”darwaja thokte hue main bola “aaj main ek ladki se mila…”

“tu aur ladki se… tujhse kaun baat karegi…”taana maarte hue Sanjana andar se hee boli…

“areyyy… kya kami hai mujhme… most eligible single hoon main“darwaja lagatar thokte hue maine kaha, taaki Sanjana mere is tarah darwaja thokne se irritate ho jaaye...

“aisa bol ki… kaun si kami nahi hai tujhme….”

“achchha sun toh… usne mujhe friend request bheji hai, wo bhi khud se… lagta hai mere pe flat ho gayi. accept karu kya…?”mera darwaja peetna ab bhi jaari tha... aur aise peet-te hue mujhe ek dhun yaad aa gayi aur usi dhun me main ab darwaja peet raha tha.

“sach me…?”darwaja kholte hue Sanjana boli…

“ye dekh…”mobile me Riya ki request dikhate hue maine kaha…

“Riya Rose… ye toh wo nayiii ladki hai… biology ki…?”

“kaisi hai… mast hai na…”fir se upar chhat ki taraf dekh badayi maarte hue main bola “main aur wo… Atharva & Riya… school ke hottest couple honge… farewell me couple dance bhi karenge aur jab raat ho jayegi toh main use uske ghar chhodne jaunga aur fir raaste bhar main romantic baate karke use excite karunga aur fir uske ghar ke saamne pahuchkar main, use kiss karunga... ”

“tujhe sach me lagta hai ki… aisa kuch hoga…”haste hue mera Mazak udate hue wo boli

“janeman.. tu mujhe jaanti nahi… par ladkiya flat ho jaati hai mujhpe. Ab khud ko hee dekh le, kaise chaar saal se mere peechhe padi hai tu, lekin main hu ki tujhe bhaav hee nahi de raha…”

“how lucky I am…. Waise, Tera sar kaisa hai... sorry us din gusse me maine cup fek-kar maar diya tha tujhe…. By the way , I love it when you are in pain”mere sar ko jaha usne cup fek ke maara tha, waha touch karke boli… “chal tujhe apni paintings dikhati hu…”

“arey yarrrrr….”

“chal naa…”mera hath pakad kar mujhe jabran andar kheechte hue wo boli….

“arey nahi dekhna mujhe indra-dhanush… aasman me jo dikhta hai usi se mera pet bhar jata hai… painting-vainting dekhna unjheleble hai”

Par Sanjana nahi maani aur mera hath pakad mujhe kheechte rahi... pahle ghar ke andar kheencha aur fir seedhiyo se upar... aur fir finally canvas ke saamne lakar mujhe khada kar diya…. Mujhe laga tha ki Sanjana mujhe Indra-dhanush dikhayegi par jab Canvas ke saamne pahucha toh.... waha toh dusari hee painting thi...

“ye kya haiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…… arery, ye toh main aur tu hai…. Aur Ved bhi hai… kya kamaal ki kalakari ki hai, Silky…”canvas ko chhute hue maine kaha…

Painting humare purane moments ki thi... jisme main aur Sanjana hans rahe the aur Ved pichhe wali bench par gaal fulaye baitha hua gusse se hume ghoor raha tha. ye shayad 10th class ki baat hai.... Ved humari kisi baat se naraz tha aur main, Sanjana ke sath milkar uska Mazak uda raha tha...

“kab se yahi toh dikhana chah rahi thi….”

“toh dikhaya kyun nahi …”

“complete nahi tha aur fir tere upar mera gussa…. Main toh ise faad kar fekne bhi wali thi…”

“pagla gayi ho kaa…”canvas se painting utar kar maine kaha “ ye main rakhunga…. Bhool ja tu ise…”

“waise ye Riya Rose wahi ladki hai na, jiska jhootha paani tune piya tha…”

“tujhe kaise pata….”

“people talk… waise hua kya tha…”

Jiske baad maine Sanjana ko Riya se hui meri har mulaqat ke bare me bataya , jise sunkar wo mujhpe hasne lagi aur jis tarah se wo mujh par has rahi thi, Riya ko lekar mera confidence level fir se down hone laga….. aur maine mayoos hote hue puchha

“maine kuch galat kiya kya….?”

“kuch galat kiya…? Tune sahi kya kiya… sach bata tu sahi me park me gir gaya tha…. Gire hue insaan…”

“main jaa raha hu, yar… ab”

“achchha sun toh….”

“bol…”

“tu us-se sach me bio ke notes magne gaya tha..…?”itna bolkar wo fir se mujhpar hasne lagi….

“chal na… apna kaam kar… itna bhi funny nahi hai ye… aur tere se badhiya painting banati hai wo, indara-dhanush bana ke painting ke naam par dikhawa nahi karti…”

“toh usko bol ki wo bhi yahi painting banaye , jo maine banaya hai… pata chal jayega ki better kaun hai… waise tune kabhi mujhe kyun line nahi maari…?”

“kisne kaha nahi maari…”main badbadaya

“kuch… bola…. Kya…?”

“nahi... humare science me do term hai… Conductor and Insulator… tu insulator hai, line pass hee nahi hone deti khud se… par Riya conductor hai, barabar pass karti hai… even magnitude bhi badha deti hai... Sunayana mam kaha hai….”

“wo Sanjay Gandhi hospital me hai…”

“hospital….. kyunnn…”

kahi Sunayana mam pregnant toh nahi ho gayi...? Ved ko sunaunga ye khabar.. uska chehra dekhne laayak hoga. sala bahut Sunayana mam ki sexy klahani banata hai... ab bana ke dikhaye... ye khabar sunne ke baad. aur ye Sunayana mam ka husband bhi hawasi hai sala... humare 12th khatm hone tak nahi ruk sakta tha kya...? isiliye Sanjana itna khush hai...

"hospital.... kyunnn..." Sanjana mere pahle ~hospital kyunnn ka jawab deti uske pahle hee maine dusari baar puchh liya... bola tha naa, mann ki gati yadi tej ho toh, samay ruk jaata hai... jaise Lift me Niv ke sath hua tha... remember that..? bas same concept.

behatrin update bro..................

 

[harshit1890]

Maa kasam pura review chapela tha gayab ho gaya re baba....

 

[Yug Purush]

Maa kasam pura review chapela tha gayab ho gaya re baba....

chalega.... imagine kar lunga

behatrin update bro..................

nice update ..sanjana ke saamne apna status badhane ke liye riya ki fb request dikha raha tha ..
waise sanjana bhi dil ki buri nahi hai ,, itna mehanga phone todne par bhi jyada naraj nahi lag rahi hai ,,,aur teeno ki painting bhi banayi ..
par ye kyu puchha ki atharva ne usko line nahi maari ..

ab sunayana mam ko kya ho gaya ki wo hospital me gayi hai ..

waise hero sapne achche bunta hai ..riya ko kiss karega ...
aur ab ved ko batayega ki mam pregnet hai ..

jus bahut khush ho rahe, Sunayana ke pregnant hone se

waise sanjana bhi dil ki buri nahi hai ,, itna mehanga phone todne par bhi jyada naraj nahi lag rahi hai ,,,aur teeno ki painting bhi banayi ..
par ye kyu puchha ki atharva ne usko line nahi maari ..

insulator hai naa... use aabhas hee nahi hua Atharva ki line ka

one more update plz...
Waiting...

Actually atharva ved ko apna guru bana lena chahiye.... Yehi sahi aur sathik rasta dikhayega atharva ko.... chahe us raste mein jaan jane ki khatra bhi kyun na ho..
waise bhi usne kaha to hai hi yeh riya aur sanjana, atharva ke liye bas ki baat hai hi nahi.. ulta woh khud dhundga apne dost ke liye koi perfect ladki..
Khair let's see what happens next
Brilliant update with awesome writing skills

Khair.. sanjana na sahi riya hi sahi..

isi chakkar me toh pelayega

So phir se sanjana ke ghar ki aurr rukh kiya hero ne...baat mobile ki nahi hai.. baat yeh hai ki is baar kya tutega futega.. waise nuksan kisika bhi ho futega hero ka..

ek baar ko laga ki double meaning comment hai fir dobara padha... sar ko skip kar diya tha first time

Update - 7

EK number bhai.... Maza aa gaya update padh kar... Ranjan ki aap biti apne jo kahi vo actually mein sachai. Mujhe update aur kahani aisi jami hui lag rahi hai jaise ek perfect akar diya ho. Kahin se kahin tak koi gap nahi laga. Maza aa gaya padh kar, aur end mein ate ate jo apne sanjana ko lakar daloge chepa hai uspar hasne mein majbur ho gaya main Maza aa gaya, kahani bahut hi rochak jaa rahi hai...

thanks hariya bhai

wese sgp bhai ki story m ek bat to h .................
hero ki full lgi hoti h.............

chahe shivam: tha incomplete intention ke dono part ho ya pehir 8th sem. or aatmakami.....................
ya ye 3 girls dekhlo sala sb hero ko chod k bhag rhi h

jab tak meri happy ending nahi hogi.. mere characters ki kaise ho sakti bidu waise Arman ko toh uski dream girl dilaya apun ending waisi hee honi chahiye reader matha fod le ki sala ye happy ending hai ya sad
anyway...

यदि इस कहानी से अश्लील शब्दों को निकाल दिया जाय तो ये लाइब्रेरी में सहेज कर रखने वाली रचना होती ।
अथर्व और वेद की स्कूल लाइफ की घटनाएं दिल को गुदगुदाती है तो राजन और उसके बाप की बातें इमोशनल कर देती हैं ।
इस स्टोरी की हर छोटी-छोटी बातें मस्तिष्क पर अमिट छाप छोड़ जाती है ।
ग्रेट राइटिंग स्किल ज्ञानी भाई ।

shukriya Sanju bhai... waise main soch bhi raha tha isko publish karne ka.. par 3 mahino se atak gaya ... aur fir nashe me ek din idhar thread khol diya

Atharva ne Ranjan ke baap ki baato se dravit ho kar Ranjan ko apne ghar aane ka invitation de diya hai so dekhte hain ab kya hota hai aage______

hoga kya.. tikdi banegi...
thanks bhai

Mindblowing story my dear Yug Purush, I am not a frequent visitor of this site and my story reading arena is not big, you can say that I am a selective reader, read only few writer and you are one of my favourite writers

bas itna bol diye chhati chauda ho gaya humara keep it up

ab ghar to bula liya hai ranjan ko par maa ko pata nahi lagna chahiye ki wo gunde ka beta hai warna atharva ki khair nahi ..
shayad ghar aane par sanjana bhanda naa fod de ki wo ranjan hai .

apni silky utti bhi buri nahi .. atleast not now

nice update bro...................
bc lena dena kuch nhi h last m pr khawab sunny leon k dekhta h

Sapne bade dekh chahiye.. Taaki meduim size wale waale mil jaaye

brilliant update....humor ko acchhi tarah likhte ho aap. enjoyed it.

Waiting

:thanks"

Bahut badhiya update hai bhai..... Wakai me bachpan ke yaade or school... Sirf bachpan ke hi nhi College University or iske khach dosko bhi nhi bhul sackte kabhi....
Waiting for next update

ye bhulne wali umra nahi hoti...

If the jokes are put aside, the truth of the story touches the heart. Rajan also seems like a nice guy, I don't care what people think of anyone because we know the truth and What is right, what is wrong, everyone understands.
As always the update was great, You are writing very well, Now let's see what happens next, Till then waiting for the next part of the story.
Thank You...

bas yahi toh philosophy hai Atharva Ved ki...

matlab pyaar ke liye kuch bhi karega atharva.. lekin itna kuch karne ka kya faida jab ant mein is tarah ki reaction ya jawab mile.. atharva ne socha pyar hai, pyar mein jhutha bhi kha lete hai aur ye to mahaz pine ki baat hai par riya ne ummid se pare aisi reaction di hai ki udhar se nikal lena hi atharva ke liye behtar hai..

aap riya ki jagah hoti toh kya khush hoti ? ek ladke ko jise aap jaanti nahi, wo aake role-role me jhutha paani pee le,, wo bhi sabke saamne...

riya wali incident ke baad hero kuch apne apme khoya khoya sa hai.. par yeh to move on karne walo mein se hai.. to befikar rahe.. aage jo hone wala hai wo to hoke hi rahega na..

first person pe based hai toh main character... kuch quality jyada bata sakta hai apni

asal mein yeh writer sahab ke lekhni ka hi jadu hai ki hume lage hi nahi, hum atharva ke flashback ko padh rahe the... lage ki jaise yehi present hai.. woh to achha hai ki bis bis kahani mein writer sahab present Lake yaad dila dete hai ki nahi wo sach mein flashback mein ghati kuch purani yaadein hai atharva k...
unhone apne kalam se likhe har ek shabd, har ek panktiyon ke dwara na sirf pramukh kirdaar atharva ko uske school days ke yaadon mein le gaya balki iske jariye apne readers ko bhi apne bhooli bichhde khatti mithi school days ke yaadon mein khone ke liye majboor kiya..
ek baat to tay hai... chaahe present mein kuch bhi ho lekin sabse badhiya aur maje dear aur dilchasp is kahani ka flashback hai
Let's see what happens next
Brilliant update with awesome writing skills gyani sir

wooh....
ek baat to tay hai... chaahe present mein kuch bhi ho lekin sabse badhiya aur maje dear aur dilchasp is kahani ka flashback hai

present me toh dukhad bhari ghatnaye hai... ya fir ghatne wali hai
.

Thank you everyone keep it up ​

 

[mashish]

Chapter-6: Clash of the Canvas

Update-16​

“party de raha hai na….”Park se nikal kar jab hum ghar ke liye taiyar hue toh Ved bola…

“party...? party kisliye…”

“maal pata liya… party nahi dega…”

“pati kaha hai abhi, abhi toh sirf baat hui hai…”

“toh pat jayegi….. kya bolta hai, Ranjan…?... Ranjan… Ranjan… kis-se laga hua hai be phone me…”

“wo aaj dhabe ka samaan khatm ho gaya toh usi ki list dekh riya tha , kaun-kaun sa samaan lana hai…”

“fb me…?”

“wo toh aise hee Sanjana ko friend request bhej raha tha…. khair chhod, Kya bol raha tha tu…”mobile apne jeb me daalte hue Ranjan bola… “ party… haan party toh dena chahiye….”

“paisa nahi hai abhi aur Sanjana se bhi baat-chit band hai, warna teen-char sau toh wahi se jugad ho jata”

“sale bhikhari….”

“mere dhabe chalo… paise baad me de dena, jab bhi mann ho…”Ranjan bola “aur botal ka bhi jugad ho jayega, yadi chahoge toh…”

“botal matlab…”maine puchha…

“botal matlab daru be… itna lodu kaise ho sakta hai tu…”Ved ne jawab diya

“daru nahi peena , kadwa lagta hai…”

“thik hai fir…. Sirf khayenge…” driving seat me koodkar baith-te hue Ved bola… “come on, fellas… load ho jao…”

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Hum teeno Ranjan ke dhabe pahuche, jaha Ranjan ke papa daru peekar tunn the par hume dekhte hee humara aadar-satkar kiya… humne jab unhe hath jodkar Namaste kiya toh wo bhi hath jodkar Namaste karne lage… jispar main aur Ved flat ho gaye…. matlab kya sanskari baap tha Ranjan ka… khud chalkar humare liye andar do takhat lagwaya aur 4-5 item ka order de mara…. Log faltu me badnaam karke rakhe hai, Ranjan ke baap ko.

“wo ladka kaun hai be… jaana pahchana lag raha hai…”ek chair kheechte hue maine ek ladke ki taraf ishara kiya… main aur Ved wahi baithe aur Ranjan waha se bahar chala gaya....

“abey wo wahi government school wala ladka hai na… Joshi, jise last year Jafar ne pela tha... jab isne Mira ko chhed diya tha toh… bhool gaya kya…? Itna bada kaand hua tha… wo toh compromise karwaya gaya, iske aur Jafar ke beech warna Government school ke ladke Sanskar Valley ke har launde ko pelne ke liye taiyar the….”

“ toh bhatti, future me kya karne ka socha hai….”Ranjan hum dono ki plate me roti rakhte hue puchha

“Engineering… ab math liya hai toh karna hee padega…”Maine kaha..

“mera bhi same answer…”roti , shahi paneer me dubote hue Ved bola… “tera kya plan hai… bio, liya hai… doctor banega kya, lawda”

“doctor banna , apne bas ka nahi hai… apan toh simple pharmacy karunga aur fir medical dukan kholunga… mast aaram ki zindagi… idhar dhabe ka bhi kaam dekh lunga, udhar medical store ka bhi…”

“haan … ye sahi hai… fir jab bhi hume josh wali goli chahiye hogi toh isi ke dukan se lenge… kyun Atharva…?”

“aur condoms bhi… par mera ek sawal hai”

“hat lawda…”

“tu chup bsdk… tere se kaun puchh raha hai, main toh Ranjan se baat kar raha hu…. toh Ranjan, tune ye sab kyun kiya… matlab main aur Ved tere, utne achchhe dost bhi nahi hai par fir bhi tune Riya ke bare me hume bataya ki wo park me hai aur fir yaha itni door dhabe me free ka khana khilane bhi le aaya… kyun…?”

“aur kisi ko main School me jaanta bhi nahi shayad, isliye… ya tum dono ke aalawa… koyi aur kabhi mujhse dost ki tarah baat bhi nahi kiya... shayad isliye. ye hasi majak jo tum dono karte ho… mujhe ye pata hai… kyunki main shuru se tum logo ke sath padha hu… pure school me sirf hum teeno hee hai, jo shuru se padh rahe hai… tu, main , Ved…. We’re bonded with each other, with this land... hum study ya fir job ke liye chahe kahi bhi chale jaye , kuch bhi kar le, is jagah se hamesha jude rahenge…. Ek din hume lautkar wapas yaha aana hee padega… apni khushi se ya fir majboori me aur fir se life naye sire se shuru karni hogi…. I know it, I’ve felt it…. This is the land of white tigers aur White tigers sirf yahi khush rah sakte hai…. Isliye future me kahi bhi raho, jab bhi kabhi dil dukhi ho toh bejhijhak yaha aana… fir main bhi yahi milunga... ”

.

Ek wo din tha aur ek aaj ka din hai… usi din se main aur Ved khud ko White Tigers manne lage the, fark sirf itna tha ki hum dono zindagi ke safar me is baat ko kahi bahut peechhe chhod aaye the… us shahar ko bhi aur un yaadon ko bhi. hum dono us din Ranjan ki baat ko haste-khelte majak me le gaye the par aaj jab andheri raat me bike chalate hue main apne school ke bare me soch raha tha, tab mujhe ye yaad aaya aur mujhe realize hua ki…. Mujhe yaha bahut pahle hee aa jana chahiye tha. Ranjan ki us din kahi hui har ek baat aaj sach saabit ho rahi thi…. Khair us din dhabe me bhar-pet khana khane ke baad jab main glass me paani bharkar bahar hath dhone ek kinare pahucha toh… Ranjan ke papa waha pahuch gaye…

“Beta, khana kaisa laga…”

“arey uncle hum log Ranjan ke dost hai, yadi kharab bhi rahega toh kharab nahi bolenge… aap toh humse aise bartaav kar rahe hai, jaise hum ladke wale ho aur aap ladki wale… aur khana, mind blowing tha, itna kha liya hai ki do din tak ghar me khana hee nahi khaunga…”

“arey wo baat nahi hai beta, wo Ranjan zindagi me pahli baar kisi ko apne sath yaha laya hai… mujhe maloom hai ki Ranjan aur meri kya image hai school me… aur use koyi kyun apne ghar kisi party ya function me nahi bulata… isliye… yadi us-se dosti na bhi ho toh bas dikhawa kar lena… iske baad wo college chala jayega toh , shayad waha uske dost ban jaye… jinhe usse baat karne me beizzati mahsoos naa ho”

“bas itni si baat….”main peeche palat kar jor se chillaya “Ved chal na yar, ab kya aadhi raat ko jayega….”

“bas-bas aaya …”khane ki speed tej karte hue Ved ghuti hui aawaz me bola

“aur tu Ranjan… kal school ke baad mere ghar aa jana , Modern Warfare 2 khelenge… full action.. maja aayega…”

.

.

“bsdk, bola tha subah chalte hai… ab toh badhiya kisi laundiya ki tarah mujhse chipak kar baitha hai aur idhar thandi me meri aisi ki taisi ho rahi hai…”Jab humne Bhopal se bypass road pakda toh main bola…

“sunayi nahi diya, kuch bol raha kya…”

“kuch nahi… bas puch raha tha ki apne whatsapp group se do logo ko tune remove kyun kiya tha 2 din pahle…”

“jisko rahna hai rahe, par group ki garima, pratishtha aur anushasan me koyi aanch nahi aani chahiye…”

“Garima aur Pratishtha maal hai kya…?”

“Atharva, kitna chodra ho gaya hai tu aajkal, pahle bahut sharif tha…. BC ab dekho….”

“hold tight…”accelerator badhate hue maine kaha….

.

.

Us din Ranjan ke dhabe me usko next day ka invite dekar main aur Ved ghar ke liye nikle…

“naa be, Ranjan ko bula liya apne ghar… ghar wale kya bolenge…”return me Ved ne ye sawal daga...

“ghar walo ko nahi batayenge ki uska naam Ranjan hai… ya fir uska baap kaun hai… simple… sabke gharwalo ko sirf naam pata hai, dekha thodi hai kisi ne”

“wow… good…”

“hold tight”accelerator badhate hue maine kaha…

lovely update

 

[Naina]

कहानी अब तक..
who was your favourite character, and why?

sanjana..... ab tak jo ghatnaye huyi hai uske madde nazar to yahin lage ki yeh kirdaar caring nature ki hai aur selfish to hargiz nahi.. aur friendly bhi..

Did the characters feel real to you?

yep... isme do ray nahi hai ki gyani sir is baat zyada dhyan dete.. ki kahani ghatnaye aur kirdaar jo karm kar rahe hai wo vastavik lage... unki is tarah ki kahani padhne ki ek aur wajah yeh bhi hai..

Did the story keep you guessing?

Abhi nahi... The end mein

What was your favourite part of the story , and why?

gupt ji ne jo chapter padhaya ek alag hi style mein wo wala...
Kyunki baat chhoti si thi... . kyunki aise gussel aur akkdu teacher hote hai... aur maarte bhi hai students ko.. yeh to sadharan si baat hai.. lekin am aur sadharan si baat ko bhi ashadharan roop mein hashya mishrit karke pathko ke samne jis tarike se pesh ki hai writer sahab ne woh sach mein apne apme bemisaal hai..

Were certain types of scene written particularly well - for example sad scenes, tense scenes, mysterious ones...?
Kuch ek to hai... aur jo hai wo hai kaafi arthpurn...

dukhad aur tanavpurn.... woh rajan ne joh baat kaha ki usko koi nahi bulata par party mein kya kya hua ye baat sabhi kare uske sath .. nahi bulane kaaran kyunki wo, un dosto ke parents ki nazar mein ek gunda hai.. party mein nahi bulayenge lekin haan wohi dost jab musbit se ghire to to ushi ranjan ko jarur bulayenge...
dukhad drishya par hai vastav mein kadvi sach...
well... mystery create shayad aage chalke ho... kyunki yeh gyani sir ki story hai... to mystery create hona bhi lazmi hai..
kya pata aage chalke do tin mysterious murder scenes bhi create ho jaaye story mein

Did the story make you laugh or cry?

sirf aur sirf hanshaya hai aur sath hi manoranjan bhi... saari tension bhoolke hasne aur relax hone ki ek wajah ban gayi yeh kahani... aur apne readers ko hanshane aur manoranjan ke liye puri khurak add kiye hai har ek update, har ek panktiyon ke sath..

Did the story grip you and keep you turning the pages?

shat pratishat..... Naye readers se yahin kahu ki aapko ek pal ke bhi boring hone nahi degi yeh kahani... mood fresh karne ke liye ek perfect story line hai ye..

edited = kya rewa mein apne ghar kuch din rukenge ye dono?

 

[Naina]

yeh dono rewa kab pahunchenge...
aaj ka update...
intezaar...

 

[Mr. Perfect]

Behad hi shandar update tha SGP bhai______
Ye Atharva nahi sudharne wala. Gaya tha Sanjana ko chidhane ke liye aur khud ka hi popat ho gaya. Waise uski harkato se hi story me maja bana hua hai bhai. Abhi tak to Atharva aur ved hi the ab ranjan bhi shamil ho hi jayega_______
Atharva ki soch thi ki wo riya ki baate kar ke sanjana ka sir khayega lekin hua ulta. Sanjana ne usi ka majak bana diya aur ab to uska confidence level down ho hi gaya hai uski baato se. Sanjana ne teeno ki painting banaai thi jise dekh kar Atharva khush ho gaya tha. Sanjana ne jab usse pucha ki usne use kabhi line kyo nahi maari to use khul ke batana chahiye tha na. Kya pata koi chance ban jata______
Sunayana mam hospital me kyo hai. Kya sach me wo pregnant hai. Ye khabar to ved ke liye buri hi hogi. Dekhte hain aage kya hota hai______

Update-17​

.

Ghar pahuchkar, main hath-muh dhoya aur deo-veo maarkar fb check kiya. Riya ki friend request aa chuki thi. Par ab apun thoda bhaav khaane ke mood me tha. Riya ki request toh maine Ranjan ke dhabe me hee dekh liya tha, par accept nahi kiya... matab lagna chahiye ki ladka laar tapkaye uske request ka intezaar nahi kar raha... matlab lagna chahiye ki apun bahut busy aadmi hai aur fir Sanjana ko show off karne ka bhi khayal aaya... taaki uski nazar me apna rola badh jaaye... isliye hath-muh dhokar .. mast kanghi-vanghi maar ke , naya wala t-shirt apne body me taang ke main ek baar fir Sanjana ke ghar ke liye nikal pada…. Mann me aaya ki Sanjana ke ghar naa jaun, gali-vali de sakti hai... par fir bhi... jaisa ki maine pahle hee bataya... udta hua teer lene ki aadat thi mujhe us waqt... so , main gaya... pure josh me gaya...

“hey silky….”Sanjana ne jaise gate khola main darwaja pakad kar upar chhat ki taraf dekhte hue style se bola…. “aaj apun party diya , Hotel Empire me… tu yadi mere se ladayi nahi karti toh tujhe bhi deta…”

“aukaat hai teri, dhabe me baith ke free ki roti tod raha tha aur yaha badi-badi jhad raha hai…”

“tujhe.... kisne...... bata...... diya...…”

“Ved ne pic upload ki hai…”

“haan toh humlog baad me gaye the waha… pahle hotel Empire gaye the…”

“tu kyun aaya hai… yaha…”

“sorry bolne… maine bahut socha, raat bhar socha… kal bhi socha, aaj bhi socha… jaagte hue socha… sote hue socha… school me socha, school ke baad bhi socha…. tab mujhe realize hua ki galti….”

“I’m listening…”

“tab mujhe realize hua kiiiii……… galti teri thi….”

Mera itna bolna tha ki Sanjana ne gate jor se mere muh me band kar diya….

“achchha sun toh….”darwaja thokte hue main bola “aaj main ek ladki se mila…”

“tu aur ladki se… tujhse kaun baat karegi…”taana maarte hue Sanjana andar se hee boli…

“areyyy… kya kami hai mujhme… most eligible single hoon main“darwaja lagatar thokte hue maine kaha, taaki Sanjana mere is tarah darwaja thokne se irritate ho jaaye...

“aisa bol ki… kaun si kami nahi hai tujhme….”

“achchha sun toh… usne mujhe friend request bheji hai, wo bhi khud se… lagta hai mere pe flat ho gayi. accept karu kya…?”mera darwaja peetna ab bhi jaari tha... aur aise peet-te hue mujhe ek dhun yaad aa gayi aur usi dhun me main ab darwaja peet raha tha.

“sach me…?”darwaja kholte hue Sanjana boli…

“ye dekh…”mobile me Riya ki request dikhate hue maine kaha…

“Riya Rose… ye toh wo nayiii ladki hai… biology ki…?”

“kaisi hai… mast hai na…”fir se upar chhat ki taraf dekh badayi maarte hue main bola “main aur wo… Atharva & Riya… school ke hottest couple honge… farewell me couple dance bhi karenge aur jab raat ho jayegi toh main use uske ghar chhodne jaunga aur fir raaste bhar main romantic baate karke use excite karunga aur fir uske ghar ke saamne pahuchkar main, use kiss karunga... ”

“tujhe sach me lagta hai ki… aisa kuch hoga…”haste hue mera Mazak udate hue wo boli

“janeman.. tu mujhe jaanti nahi… par ladkiya flat ho jaati hai mujhpe. Ab khud ko hee dekh le, kaise chaar saal se mere peechhe padi hai tu, lekin main hu ki tujhe bhaav hee nahi de raha…”

“how lucky I am…. Waise, Tera sar kaisa hai... sorry us din gusse me maine cup fek-kar maar diya tha tujhe…. By the way , I love it when you are in pain”mere sar ko jaha usne cup fek ke maara tha, waha touch karke boli… “chal tujhe apni paintings dikhati hu…”

“arey yarrrrr….”

“chal naa…”mera hath pakad kar mujhe jabran andar kheechte hue wo boli….

“arey nahi dekhna mujhe indra-dhanush… aasman me jo dikhta hai usi se mera pet bhar jata hai… painting-vainting dekhna unjheleble hai”

Par Sanjana nahi maani aur mera hath pakad mujhe kheechte rahi... pahle ghar ke andar kheencha aur fir seedhiyo se upar... aur fir finally canvas ke saamne lakar mujhe khada kar diya…. Mujhe laga tha ki Sanjana mujhe Indra-dhanush dikhayegi par jab Canvas ke saamne pahucha toh.... waha toh dusari hee painting thi...

“ye kya haiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…… arery, ye toh main aur tu hai…. Aur Ved bhi hai… kya kamaal ki kalakari ki hai, Silky…”canvas ko chhute hue maine kaha…

Painting humare purane moments ki thi... jisme main aur Sanjana hans rahe the aur Ved pichhe wali bench par gaal fulaye baitha hua gusse se hume ghoor raha tha. ye shayad 10th class ki baat hai.... Ved humari kisi baat se naraz tha aur main, Sanjana ke sath milkar uska Mazak uda raha tha...

“kab se yahi toh dikhana chah rahi thi….”

“toh dikhaya kyun nahi …”

“complete nahi tha aur fir tere upar mera gussa…. Main toh ise faad kar fekne bhi wali thi…”

“pagla gayi ho kaa…”canvas se painting utar kar maine kaha “ ye main rakhunga…. Bhool ja tu ise…”

“waise ye Riya Rose wahi ladki hai na, jiska jhootha paani tune piya tha…”

“tujhe kaise pata….”

“people talk… waise hua kya tha…”

Jiske baad maine Sanjana ko Riya se hui meri har mulaqat ke bare me bataya , jise sunkar wo mujhpe hasne lagi aur jis tarah se wo mujh par has rahi thi, Riya ko lekar mera confidence level fir se down hone laga….. aur maine mayoos hote hue puchha

“maine kuch galat kiya kya….?”

“kuch galat kiya…? Tune sahi kya kiya… sach bata tu sahi me park me gir gaya tha…. Gire hue insaan…”

“main jaa raha hu, yar… ab”

“achchha sun toh….”

“bol…”

“tu us-se sach me bio ke notes magne gaya tha..…?”itna bolkar wo fir se mujhpar hasne lagi….

“chal na… apna kaam kar… itna bhi funny nahi hai ye… aur tere se badhiya painting banati hai wo, indara-dhanush bana ke painting ke naam par dikhawa nahi karti…”

“toh usko bol ki wo bhi yahi painting banaye , jo maine banaya hai… pata chal jayega ki better kaun hai… waise tune kabhi mujhe kyun line nahi maari…?”

“kisne kaha nahi maari…”main badbadaya

“kuch… bola…. Kya…?”

“nahi... humare science me do term hai… Conductor and Insulator… tu insulator hai, line pass hee nahi hone deti khud se… par Riya conductor hai, barabar pass karti hai… even magnitude bhi badha deti hai... Sunayana mam kaha hai….”

“wo Sanjay Gandhi hospital me hai…”

“hospital….. kyunnn…”

kahi Sunayana mam pregnant toh nahi ho gayi...? Ved ko sunaunga ye khabar.. uska chehra dekhne laayak hoga. sala bahut Sunayana mam ki sexy klahani banata hai... ab bana ke dikhaye... ye khabar sunne ke baad. aur ye Sunayana mam ka husband bhi hawasi hai sala... humare 12th khatm hone tak nahi ruk sakta tha kya...? isiliye Sanjana itna khush hai...

"hospital.... kyunnn..." Sanjana mere pahle ~hospital kyunnn ka jawab deti uske pahle hee maine dusari baar puchh liya... bola tha naa, mann ki gati yadi tej ho toh, samay ruk jaata hai... jaise Lift me Niv ke sath hua tha... remember that..? bas same concept.

 

[SANJU ( V. R. )]

Update-17​

.

Ghar pahuchkar, main hath-muh dhoya aur deo-veo maarkar fb check kiya. Riya ki friend request aa chuki thi. Par ab apun thoda bhaav khaane ke mood me tha. Riya ki request toh maine Ranjan ke dhabe me hee dekh liya tha, par accept nahi kiya... matab lagna chahiye ki ladka laar tapkaye uske request ka intezaar nahi kar raha... matlab lagna chahiye ki apun bahut busy aadmi hai aur fir Sanjana ko show off karne ka bhi khayal aaya... taaki uski nazar me apna rola badh jaaye... isliye hath-muh dhokar .. mast kanghi-vanghi maar ke , naya wala t-shirt apne body me taang ke main ek baar fir Sanjana ke ghar ke liye nikal pada…. Mann me aaya ki Sanjana ke ghar naa jaun, gali-vali de sakti hai... par fir bhi... jaisa ki maine pahle hee bataya... udta hua teer lene ki aadat thi mujhe us waqt... so , main gaya... pure josh me gaya...

“hey silky….”Sanjana ne jaise gate khola main darwaja pakad kar upar chhat ki taraf dekhte hue style se bola…. “aaj apun party diya , Hotel Empire me… tu yadi mere se ladayi nahi karti toh tujhe bhi deta…”

“aukaat hai teri, dhabe me baith ke free ki roti tod raha tha aur yaha badi-badi jhad raha hai…”

“tujhe.... kisne...... bata...... diya...…”

“Ved ne pic upload ki hai…”

“haan toh humlog baad me gaye the waha… pahle hotel Empire gaye the…”

“tu kyun aaya hai… yaha…”

“sorry bolne… maine bahut socha, raat bhar socha… kal bhi socha, aaj bhi socha… jaagte hue socha… sote hue socha… school me socha, school ke baad bhi socha…. tab mujhe realize hua ki galti….”

“I’m listening…”

“tab mujhe realize hua kiiiii……… galti teri thi….”

Mera itna bolna tha ki Sanjana ne gate jor se mere muh me band kar diya….

“achchha sun toh….”darwaja thokte hue main bola “aaj main ek ladki se mila…”

“tu aur ladki se… tujhse kaun baat karegi…”taana maarte hue Sanjana andar se hee boli…

“areyyy… kya kami hai mujhme… most eligible single hoon main“darwaja lagatar thokte hue maine kaha, taaki Sanjana mere is tarah darwaja thokne se irritate ho jaaye...

“aisa bol ki… kaun si kami nahi hai tujhme….”

“achchha sun toh… usne mujhe friend request bheji hai, wo bhi khud se… lagta hai mere pe flat ho gayi. accept karu kya…?”mera darwaja peetna ab bhi jaari tha... aur aise peet-te hue mujhe ek dhun yaad aa gayi aur usi dhun me main ab darwaja peet raha tha.

“sach me…?”darwaja kholte hue Sanjana boli…

“ye dekh…”mobile me Riya ki request dikhate hue maine kaha…

“Riya Rose… ye toh wo nayiii ladki hai… biology ki…?”

“kaisi hai… mast hai na…”fir se upar chhat ki taraf dekh badayi maarte hue main bola “main aur wo… Atharva & Riya… school ke hottest couple honge… farewell me couple dance bhi karenge aur jab raat ho jayegi toh main use uske ghar chhodne jaunga aur fir raaste bhar main romantic baate karke use excite karunga aur fir uske ghar ke saamne pahuchkar main, use kiss karunga... ”

“tujhe sach me lagta hai ki… aisa kuch hoga…”haste hue mera Mazak udate hue wo boli

“janeman.. tu mujhe jaanti nahi… par ladkiya flat ho jaati hai mujhpe. Ab khud ko hee dekh le, kaise chaar saal se mere peechhe padi hai tu, lekin main hu ki tujhe bhaav hee nahi de raha…”

“how lucky I am…. Waise, Tera sar kaisa hai... sorry us din gusse me maine cup fek-kar maar diya tha tujhe…. By the way , I love it when you are in pain”mere sar ko jaha usne cup fek ke maara tha, waha touch karke boli… “chal tujhe apni paintings dikhati hu…”

“arey yarrrrr….”

“chal naa…”mera hath pakad kar mujhe jabran andar kheechte hue wo boli….

“arey nahi dekhna mujhe indra-dhanush… aasman me jo dikhta hai usi se mera pet bhar jata hai… painting-vainting dekhna unjheleble hai”

Par Sanjana nahi maani aur mera hath pakad mujhe kheechte rahi... pahle ghar ke andar kheencha aur fir seedhiyo se upar... aur fir finally canvas ke saamne lakar mujhe khada kar diya…. Mujhe laga tha ki Sanjana mujhe Indra-dhanush dikhayegi par jab Canvas ke saamne pahucha toh.... waha toh dusari hee painting thi...

“ye kya haiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…… arery, ye toh main aur tu hai…. Aur Ved bhi hai… kya kamaal ki kalakari ki hai, Silky…”canvas ko chhute hue maine kaha…

Painting humare purane moments ki thi... jisme main aur Sanjana hans rahe the aur Ved pichhe wali bench par gaal fulaye baitha hua gusse se hume ghoor raha tha. ye shayad 10th class ki baat hai.... Ved humari kisi baat se naraz tha aur main, Sanjana ke sath milkar uska Mazak uda raha tha...

“kab se yahi toh dikhana chah rahi thi….”

“toh dikhaya kyun nahi …”

“complete nahi tha aur fir tere upar mera gussa…. Main toh ise faad kar fekne bhi wali thi…”

“pagla gayi ho kaa…”canvas se painting utar kar maine kaha “ ye main rakhunga…. Bhool ja tu ise…”

“waise ye Riya Rose wahi ladki hai na, jiska jhootha paani tune piya tha…”

“tujhe kaise pata….”

“people talk… waise hua kya tha…”

Jiske baad maine Sanjana ko Riya se hui meri har mulaqat ke bare me bataya , jise sunkar wo mujhpe hasne lagi aur jis tarah se wo mujh par has rahi thi, Riya ko lekar mera confidence level fir se down hone laga….. aur maine mayoos hote hue puchha

“maine kuch galat kiya kya….?”

“kuch galat kiya…? Tune sahi kya kiya… sach bata tu sahi me park me gir gaya tha…. Gire hue insaan…”

“main jaa raha hu, yar… ab”

“achchha sun toh….”

“bol…”

“tu us-se sach me bio ke notes magne gaya tha..…?”itna bolkar wo fir se mujhpar hasne lagi….

“chal na… apna kaam kar… itna bhi funny nahi hai ye… aur tere se badhiya painting banati hai wo, indara-dhanush bana ke painting ke naam par dikhawa nahi karti…”

“toh usko bol ki wo bhi yahi painting banaye , jo maine banaya hai… pata chal jayega ki better kaun hai… waise tune kabhi mujhe kyun line nahi maari…?”

“kisne kaha nahi maari…”main badbadaya

“kuch… bola…. Kya…?”

“nahi... humare science me do term hai… Conductor and Insulator… tu insulator hai, line pass hee nahi hone deti khud se… par Riya conductor hai, barabar pass karti hai… even magnitude bhi badha deti hai... Sunayana mam kaha hai….”

“wo Sanjay Gandhi hospital me hai…”

“hospital….. kyunnn…”

kahi Sunayana mam pregnant toh nahi ho gayi...? Ved ko sunaunga ye khabar.. uska chehra dekhne laayak hoga. sala bahut Sunayana mam ki sexy klahani banata hai... ab bana ke dikhaye... ye khabar sunne ke baad. aur ye Sunayana mam ka husband bhi hawasi hai sala... humare 12th khatm hone tak nahi ruk sakta tha kya...? isiliye Sanjana itna khush hai...

"hospital.... kyunnn..." Sanjana mere pahle ~hospital kyunnn ka jawab deti uske pahle hee maine dusari baar puchh liya... bola tha naa, mann ki gati yadi tej ho toh, samay ruk jaata hai... jaise Lift me Niv ke sath hua tha... remember that..? bas same concept.

Superb Update.
एक बार फिर से जगमग जगमग अपडेट ।
अथर्व बेचारी संजना को परेशान करने का एक मौका भी नहीं छोड़ता है । इस बार रिया रोज का फ्रेंड रिक्वेस्ट दिखाकर उसके अंदर जलन की भावना पैदा करना चाहता था ।
लेकिन संजना की बनाई हुई पेंटिंग्स ....अथर्व , वेद और खुद उसकी देखकर भी उसे समझ नहीं आया कि उन दोनों के लिए उसके दिल में क्या महत्व है ।
" कब से यही दिखाना चाहती थी " और " वैसे तुने मुझे क्यों नहीं लाइन मारी " संजना का अथर्व के लिए प्यार दर्शाता है ।

लेकिन अथर्व तो उसकी तुलना इन्सुलेटर से कर रहा है ( मतलब लकड़ी की तरह जहां करेंट पास नहीं करता है )........ वो लड़की है और लड़कियां खुलकर अपने प्यार का इजहार नहीं करती ।
जिस लड़की रिया रोज को कंडक्टर कह रहा है , हो सकता है वहां करेंट हो ही न ।

अद्भुत राइटिंग स्किल ज्ञानी भाई । आउटस्टैंडिंग अपडेट ।

 

[SANJU ( V. R. )]

कहानी अब तक..
who was your favourite character, and why?

sanjana..... ab tak jo ghatnaye huyi hai uske madde nazar to yahin lage ki yeh kirdaar caring nature ki hai aur selfish to hargiz nahi.. aur friendly bhi..

Did the characters feel real to you?

yep... isme do ray nahi hai ki gyani sir is baat zyada dhyan dete.. ki kahani ghatnaye aur kirdaar jo karm kar rahe hai wo vastavik lage... unki is tarah ki kahani padhne ki ek aur wajah yeh bhi hai..

Did the story keep you guessing?

Abhi nahi... The end mein

What was your favourite part of the story , and why?

gupt ji ne jo chapter padhaya ek alag hi style mein wo wala...
Kyunki baat chhoti si thi... . kyunki aise gussel aur akkdu teacher hote hai... aur maarte bhi hai students ko.. yeh to sadharan si baat hai.. lekin am aur sadharan si baat ko bhi ashadharan roop mein hashya mishrit karke pathko ke samne jis tarike se pesh ki hai writer sahab ne woh sach mein apne apme bemisaal hai..

Were certain types of scene written particularly well - for example sad scenes, tense scenes, mysterious ones...?
Kuch ek to hai... aur jo hai wo hai kaafi arthpurn...

dukhad aur tanavpurn.... woh rajan ne joh baat kaha ki usko koi nahi bulata par party mein kya kya hua ye baat sabhi kare uske sath .. nahi bulane kaaran kyunki wo, un dosto ke parents ki nazar mein ek gunda hai.. party mein nahi bulayenge lekin haan wohi dost jab musbit se ghire to to ushi ranjan ko jarur bulayenge...
dukhad drishya par hai vastav mein kadvi sach...
well... mystery create shayad aage chalke ho... kyunki yeh gyani sir ki story hai... to mystery create hona bhi lazmi hai..
kya pata aage chalke do tin mysterious murder scenes bhi create ho jaaye story mein

Did the story make you laugh or cry?

sirf aur sirf hanshaya hai aur sath hi manoranjan bhi... saari tension bhoolke hasne aur relax hone ki ek wajah ban gayi yeh kahani... aur apne readers ko hanshane aur manoranjan ke liye puri khurak add kiye hai har ek update, har ek panktiyon ke sath..

Did the story grip you and keep you turning the pages?

shat pratishat..... Naye readers se yahin kahu ki aapko ek pal ke bhi boring hone nahi degi yeh kahani... mood fresh karne ke liye ek perfect story line hai ye..

edited = kya rewa mein apne ghar kuch din rukenge ye dono?

Great Review.

 

[harshit1890]

chalega.... imagine kar lunga

main fir se chapunga