Romance मोक्ष : तृष्णा से तुष्टि तक .......

[Mr. Pandit]

Jai ho kamdev bhaya ki....

Bhaya ji is story ko padh kar mere dimaag me bas ek hi baat aayi ki agar koi aapki is story ko achhe se samajh le aur kahi par bhi confuse na ho to wo duniya ki jatil se bhi jatil baat samajh lene ki koovat rakhega. Is maamle me firefox420 bhaya sabse upar hain kyo ki unko aapki ye story puri tarah samajh aati hai. Matlab saaf hai ki unka dimaag kisi computer se kam nahi hai....

Aap soch rahe honge ki main aapki is story par koi comment kyo nahi kar raha tha ab tak to iska jawaab yahi hai ki mujhme is story se related koi review dene ki koovat hi nahi thi. Main to khaali time me is story ko padh kar bas apna matha pachchi hi karta raha hu. Aapka kya hai aap to is story ke character thahre, aapko to sab samajh aayega magar dusra to bas ulajh kar hi rah jayega na. Khair jane dijiye aaj itna is liye bol diya kyo ki maine aapki story ka zikra kiya tha kahi par aur dusri baat ye thi ki man me kuch kahne ki bahut zyada ichchha ho rahi thi....

Bhaya bas ek hi guzarish hai ki gaav me aur shahar me jab aapki itni hi dhaak hai to please gaav me bijli ka aisa prabandh karwa lijiye jo hamesha ke liye ho. Kyo ki iski vajah se aap update nahi de pate aur isse sabse zyada problem firefox420 bhaya ko hoti hai. Baaki aur kya kah sakta hu aapko....​

 

[kamdev99008]

Jai ho kamdev bhaya ki....

Bhaya ji is story ko padh kar mere dimaag me bas ek hi baat aayi ki agar koi aapki is story ko achhe se samajh le aur kahi par bhi confuse na ho to wo duniya ki jatil se bhi jatil baat samajh lene ki koovat rakhega. Is maamle me firefox420 bhaya sabse upar hain kyo ki unko aapki ye story puri tarah samajh aati hai. Matlab saaf hai ki unka dimaag kisi computer se kam nahi hai....

Aap soch rahe honge ki main aapki is story par koi comment kyo nahi kar raha tha ab tak to iska jawaab yahi hai ki mujhme is story se related koi review dene ki koovat hi nahi thi. Main to khaali time me is story ko padh kar bas apna matha pachchi hi karta raha hu. Aapka kya hai aap to is story ke character thahre, aapko to sab samajh aayega magar dusra to bas ulajh kar hi rah jayega na. Khair jane dijiye aaj itna is liye bol diya kyo ki maine aapki story ka zikra kiya tha kahi par aur dusri baat ye thi ki man me kuch kahne ki bahut zyada ichchha ho rahi thi....

Bhaya bas ek hi guzarish hai ki gaav me aur shahar me jab aapki itni hi dhaak hai to please gaav me bijli ka aisa prabandh karwa lijiye jo hamesha ke liye ho. Kyo ki iski vajah se aap update nahi de pate aur isse sabse zyada problem firefox420 bhaya ko hoti hai. Baaki aur kya kah sakta hu aapko....​

Aapka swagat hai mitr....
Kahani me kisi bhi suspense ko jyada nahin khincha meine... Lagbhag sabkuchh samne hi hai.... Lekin pariwar ke sabhi members apni galtiyan samne ane ke dar se bahut si baton ko man me dabaye baithe hain...
Lekin ......
bat nikli hai to dur talak jayegi
sabkuchh samne ana hi hai... Dhire-dhire

ab baat ati hai.... meri dhaak aur samasyein
dhaak to kuchh nahi meri.... Log apni jarurat ke liye mujhse jude hain... Aur me apni koi aisi jarurat nahi maanta jiske bina ji na saku.... Isliye un par dawab rahta hai... Aur me dawab me nahi rahta... Ise hi dhaak samajh lo
.........
bijli ki samasya meri apni banayi hui hai....
10 sal pahle jab me noida se patni-bachchon sahit gaon me rahne aya tha to mere gaon me tab tak na bijli ki line judi thi aur na kabhi bijli ayi thi... Log lalten (lantern ka desi ) aur diya jalate the...
6 mahine bhagdaud karke gaon me line khinchwai aur bijli aa gayi....
ab U. P. ke Gaon-dehaat me vaise hi bijli 12-14 ghante di jati hai... Usmein bhi line 10-12 gaon ko connect karti hai to kahin bhi koi kharabi hote hi band ho jati hai... Sarkari kaam to ap jante hi hain ...dehaat mein kaam aur bhi dheema jo jata hai....
mujhe koi pareshani nahi... Kam se kam apne dusre kam me time to de pata hu...

aap log nischint rahein kahani lagatar chalti rahegi... Sampurn hone tak

 

[SANJU ( V. R. )]

कहानी दिलचस्प होने के साथ-साथ काफी उलझी हुई भी है कामदेव भाई..... यदि सभी पात्रों का इंट्रोडक्शन सिलसिलेवार तरीके से एक बार फिर कर दें तो समझने में काफी सहुलियत होगी। और शायद मेरी इस दरख्वास्त से सभी सहमत भी होंगे । मैंने दस दिनों के भीतर रिश्ते नाते के भंवर में उलझी और बुजुर्गो के फैलाए हुए रायते से भरी हुई इस स्टोरी को पढ़ा लेकिन ज्यादातर समय पात्रों के वास्तविक परिचय को समझने में ही लगा दिया ।

इसमें तो कोई गुंजाइश नहीं है कि ये एक शानदार स्टोरी है । बस थोड़ा दिमाग को ज्यादा खटाना पड़ता है ?।

 

[kamdev99008]

कहानी दिलचस्प होने के साथ-साथ काफी उलझी हुई भी है कामदेव भाई..... यदि सभी पात्रों का इंट्रोडक्शन सिलसिलेवार तरीके से एक बार फिर कर दें तो समझने में काफी सहुलियत होगी। और शायद मेरी इस दरख्वास्त से सभी सहमत भी होंगे । मैंने दस दिनों के भीतर रिश्ते नाते के भंवर में उलझी और बुजुर्गो के फैलाए हुए रायते से भरी हुई इस स्टोरी को पढ़ा लेकिन ज्यादातर समय पात्रों के वास्तविक परिचय को समझने में ही लगा दिया ।

इसमें तो कोई गुंजाइश नहीं है कि ये एक शानदार स्टोरी है । बस थोड़ा दिमाग को ज्यादा खटाना पड़ता है ?।

Abhi flashback ayega jismein silsilewar pure pariwar ka prichay mil jayega....

 

[Chutiyadr]

bhiya agar ho sake to jitne abhi tak characters introduce hue hai .. unka biological vivran de do .. sahi batau to ye Shaati aur anubhuti wala matter abhi tak ulzha hua hai .. Vikram .. Raagini .. Prabal .. Anuradha .. Samar .. samar .. Nilofer .. vaidahi .. bhanu .. Shushila bhabi .. Ritu .. Mohini chachi .. bas inke alaawa bakiyo ka maamla jhol he hai ..

aur ye Dev jo naya naam hai .. kya ye Vikram/Raagini ke chacha Devraj ji hai ...

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bas update se pehle jaldi se ek list bana do sabke naamo ki .. ki kaun kisi patni hai .. aur kaun kise bacche ...

********

itni saari kahaniya padhi hai aaj tak .. 100-200 updates wali .. magar jitna confuse in 40 updates mein hua .. isne to sar mein dard kar diya ...

mujhe to abhi tak samjh nahi aa raha hai li ye likhana kya chah rahe hai,itani sust story maine aaj tak nahi padhi ..
Kuchh intresting hi nahi ho raha hai abhi tak

 

[Chutiyadr]

Jo bagicha aapne bataya waisa hi mujhe bhi chahiye ,wanha main fal phool ke sath desi sharab bhi banaunga aur mirgiya pahulna...
Ghar ki daru aur desi murgi ke sath wo mere party karne ka adda hoga

 

[kamdev99008]

mujhe to abhi tak samjh nahi aa raha hai li ye likhana kya chah rahe hai,itani sust story maine aaj tak nahi padhi ..
Kuchh intresting hi nahi ho raha hai abhi tak

interesting... Matlab chudai... To nahi kahna chahte dr sahab...
wo bhi hogi.... Ab to time shuru hua hai... Lagbhag 50th update ke aspas sab shuru ho jayega.... Fir flashback to hai hi chudai ke karnamo se bhara... Present situation dekhkar hi samajh gaye hoge... Ki ye sab hawas ka hi anjam hai

Jo bagicha aapne bataya waisa hi mujhe bhi chahiye ,wanha main fal phool ke sath desi sharab bhi banaunga aur mirgiya pahulna...
Ghar ki daru aur desi murgi ke sath wo mere party karne ka adda hoga

chahiye???? Courier karwa du kya?

mujhe call karlo, address bata deta hu... Aa jao....
bagiche me mera shuru se hi adda hai... Lekin akele pine ka man nahi karta... Aa jao dono bhai wahin aish kateings

 

[Chutiyadr]

interesting... Matlab chudai... To nahi kahna chahte dr sahab...
wo bhi hogi.... Ab to time shuru hua hai... Lagbhag 50th update ke aspas sab shuru ho jayega.... Fir flashback to hai hi chudai ke karnamo se bhara... Present situation dekhkar hi samajh gaye hoge... Ki ye sab hawas ka hi anjam hai

chahiye???? Courier karwa du kya?

mujhe call karlo, address bata deta hu... Aa jao....
bagiche me mera shuru se hi adda hai... Lekin akele pine ka man nahi karta... Aa jao dono bhai wahin aish kateings

nahi bro chudai nahi bol raha hu,shayad jo bol raha hu wo samjha nahi pa raha hu, story line achhi hai aur sex dikhane ki jarurat bhi nahi hai ..
Jaise bhawar ko dekho nainu bhai kahi koi sex scene nahi likh rahe lekin story me ek action hai ,drama hai ,kai chije hote rahti hai jo engaging hai..
Is story ke sath dikkat yahi hai ki kuchh ho hi nahi raha hai,sab ek jagah baithe hai aur bat kar rahe hai ... Usi me flashback bhi nikal aur aage ane wale event bhi waise hi nikal jayenge ,ek jagah baithe baithe ...
Jab aapne wo bajar wala scene creat kiya tha tab maine uski tarif ki thi ...
Kuchh karo yar story me bahut drama aur action ka scop hai aap use use nahi kar rahe ho...
Aur aapne abhi ye chij bol di ,akele to pine me bhi maja nahi aata ,ise hi story me bhi hai samjho abhi bas akele akele hi bat ho rahi hai wanha ....Thoda party warty karwao ..

 

[firefox420]

mujhe to abhi tak samjh nahi aa raha hai li ye likhana kya chah rahe hai,itani sust story maine aaj tak nahi padhi ..
Kuchh intresting hi nahi ho raha hai abhi tak

Jo bagicha aapne bataya waisa hi mujhe bhi chahiye ,wanha main fal phool ke sath desi sharab bhi banaunga aur mirgiya pahulna...
Ghar ki daru aur desi murgi ke sath wo mere party karne ka adda hoga

interesting... Matlab chudai... To nahi kahna chahte dr sahab...
wo bhi hogi.... Ab to time shuru hua hai... Lagbhag 50th update ke aspas sab shuru ho jayega.... Fir flashback to hai hi chudai ke karnamo se bhara... Present situation dekhkar hi samajh gaye hoge... Ki ye sab hawas ka hi anjam hai

chahiye???? Courier karwa du kya?

mujhe call karlo, address bata deta hu... Aa jao....
bagiche me mera shuru se hi adda hai... Lekin akele pine ka man nahi karta... Aa jao dono bhai wahin aish kateings

nahi bro chudai nahi bol raha hu,shayad jo bol raha hu wo samjha nahi pa raha hu, story line achhi hai aur sex dikhane ki jarurat bhi nahi hai ..
Jaise bhawar ko dekho nainu bhai kahi koi sex scene nahi likh rahe lekin story me ek action hai ,drama hai ,kai chije hote rahti hai jo engaging hai..
Is story ke sath dikkat yahi hai ki kuchh ho hi nahi raha hai,sab ek jagah baithe hai aur bat kar rahe hai ... Usi me flashback bhi nikal aur aage ane wale event bhi waise hi nikal jayenge ,ek jagah baithe baithe ...
Jab aapne wo bajar wala scene creat kiya tha tab maine uski tarif ki thi ...
Kuchh karo yar story me bahut drama aur action ka scop hai aap use use nahi kar rahe ho...
Aur aapne abhi ye chij bol di ,akele to pine me bhi maja nahi aata ,ise hi story me bhi hai samjho abhi bas akele akele hi bat ho rahi hai wanha ....Thoda party warty karwao ..

pehli baat to Dr. saab aapki clear nahi hui .. aapke jee mein kya chal raha hai ...

chudai chahiye kahani mein .. Action chahiye .. ya bagicha chahiye .. bhaang peeli kya subha - subha .. kaisi behki-behki baate kar rahe ho .. bagicha chahiye ...

yahisch hota hai beedu .. jab aap jyaada fantasy mein jeene lagte ho .. waise kamdev99008 bhiya 2-4 kilo bageecha muzhe bhi courier kar dena .. yahi hoga jab har time daaru ke nashe mein rahoge ...

kuch din ke liye aap bhi kamdev bhiya ke paas ghoome chale jaao .. inke bagiche bhi dekh aana .. aur kuch bageeche apne liye bhi lete jaana ..

********

ek to pehle he ram-ram karke .. iss story ke girte-padhte update naseeb hote hai .. ulta aap bhi aisi ch***yape wali baate karoge .. to kaise chalega .. ab naam ch***ya hai iska matlab ye nahi ki aap baate bhi Ch***yo wali he karo ...

aur rahi story ki baat to ye kahani to aise he chalne do .. baaki to sabhi kahaniyo mein writers chodum-chodi machaye rakhte hai .. aur aap khud apni kahaniyo mein saari hadein paar kar jaate ho .. kam se kam kamdev99008 bhiya ki story ko aise he enjoy kar lo .. atleast ek story to saaf suthri chalne do .. (waise muzhe doubt hai ki ye jyaada din tak sharaft se nahi chalegi .. isme bhi kaand shuru hone wale hai) ...

abhi tak to Vikram ke pita VijayRAj ne pehle he bahut kulakshan kar rakhe hai .. rahi sahi kasar Vikram ne poori kar di thi .. aur ab Vikramaditya ji ke priye chacha ji shri Dev kumar Rana ji ka soya hua pyaar jaag gaya hai .. apni bhateeji ke liye .. waise dekha jaaye to Dev ka janm 1968 mein hua tha .. aur ye apne saare bhai behno mein sabse chhote hai .. aur apne bhai VijayRaj se kam se kam 18-19 saal chhote .. to lag bhag Raagini ki umar ke he hai .. aur Raagini didi bhi 49 saal ki hai .. to iss hisaab se apne chacha se 2 ya 3 saal choti ...

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kamdev bhiya ne aapni saari khet-khaliyaan ka byora de diya .. magar jo sabse jaroori baate thi .. unpar maun dhaaran kiya hua hai .. abhi tak ye nahi bataya ki Vikram urf Ranvijay ne Anuradha se ghar ke peeche fulwari mein le jaa kar kya baate ki thi .. aur kyon Anuradha ko ek pal ke liye ghussa aaya tha jab Vikram aur Raagini ek dusre ko ghoor ke dekh rahe the .. jabki Vikram ne past ki lagbhag saari baatein clear kar di thi .. ya fir Anuradha ko abhi bhi apni Bua aur Mama par doubt hai ...

aur ye Samar / Prabal bhi kya apne baap ki tarah ghun-ne se chup-chaap rahenge .. ab to pichle 2-3 dino se saath hai .. phir bhi aapas mein ek dusre se baat nahi karte ...

 

[kamdev99008]

aur ab Vikramaditya ji ke priye chacha ji shri Dev kumar Rana ji ka soya hua pyaar jaag gaya hai .. apni bhateeji ke liye .. waise dekha jaaye to Dev ka janm 1968 mein hua tha .. aur ye apne saare bhai behno mein sabse chhote hai .. aur apne bhai VijayRaj se kam se kam 18-19 saal chhote .. to lag bhag Raagini ki umar ke he hai .. aur Raagini didi bhi 49 saal ki hai .. to iss hisaab se apne chacha se 2 ya 3 saal choti ...

dhyan dein .........vikram aur ragini..... ya yu kah lo is pariwar ke sare bachchon ke chacha ..... devraj singh ki bhabhiyon ke nam character info mein de diye hain............unmein se koi bhi sarla nahin hai
lekin jis dev.... ka jikr ragini se shadi ke liye kiya hai.........uski bhabhi ka nam sarla hai
yani..............ye dev alag character hai.......................iske bare mein bhi pata chalega agle episode mein

aur devraj singh yani chacha ji....... ki age ka calculation apne exact kiya hai.... wo ragini se sirf 2-3 sal hi bade hain......... lekin wo shadishuda bhi hai (character info mein dekhiye) aur bal-bachchedar bhi

kamdev bhiya ne aapni saari khet-khaliyaan ka byora de diya .. magar jo sabse jaroori baate thi .. unpar maun dhaaran kiya hua hai .. abhi tak ye nahi bataya ki Vikram urf Ranvijay ne Anuradha se ghar ke peeche fulwari mein le jaa kar kya baate ki thi .. aur kyon Anuradha ko ek pal ke liye ghussa aaya tha jab Vikram aur Raagini ek dusre ko ghoor ke dekh rahe the .. jabki Vikram ne past ki lagbhag saari baatein clear kar di thi .. ya fir Anuradha ko abhi bhi apni Bua aur Mama par doubt hai ...

ranvijay aur anuradha ke beech hui baat anuradha ne kisi aur se bhi discuss ki hai..... aur vikram ne bhi kisi aur se discuss ki....
ab agle update mein wo baat khulkar samne aa hi jayegi.......... anuradha ko ek pal ke liye gussa...ranvijay par nahin...ragini ke gusse par aya tha............. ragini uski bua hai to vikram mama kaise hoga.... bua ka bhai chacha hua na ..... in dono par use koi shak nahin hai ab

aur ye Samar / Prabal bhi kya apne baap ki tarah ghun-ne se chup-chaap rahenge .. ab to pichle 2-3 dino se saath hai .. phir bhi aapas mein ek dusre se baat nahi karte ...

ye donon apne baap ki tarah ghunne se chupchap kisi badi wajah se hain ....... donon ke beech koi baat hai aisi, jo kuchh updates ke baad samne aayegi
...........................
agar rat bhar bijli aati rahi to subah tak update post kar dunga