★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2021 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[_ABHAY_Smarty_]

apan was searching for fantasy



par koi nahi story acchi hai ye bhi

Ladka kuch jyada hi expect kar liya ladki se Rani...galti uski bhi nahi hai...ye sala Kabeer



Iss aadmi ki baaton ko serious leke baitha tha...ek ladka aur ek ladki dost nahi ho sakte...

Usko samajhna tha ki dost hai....aur ye Sapna aur Rani inka combo bhi alag hi tha...

Ek Rajkummar Rao hai to dusri Ayushman khuranna...gajab combo hai...

pareshan kar diya Kabeer ko....

Last aate aate sab sahi ho chukka tha...Kabeer pyar karne laga tha fir bhi aakhiri dose to dena hi tha naa....ab agar Kabeer Kirti sanon ki tarah Rani mein lag jaata naa to sahi game ho na tha

saari galti hi Selmon Bhai ki movies ki hoti hai

Selmon Bhoi

TY so much sir for a wonderful and lovely review...
2 baari fantasy or thriller likha iss liye iss baae kuch naya try kene ka socha..
Or rahi baat Salman bhai ki toh unke chakkr me pata nahi kiss kiss ka kata hai..
Abhi bhi single ghoom raha salmon bhoi ki wajah se..

 

[_ABHAY_Smarty_]

Kahani ~ A LONER
Writer ~ Yug Purush ​

Kahani - kahani hai ek ladke ki . jiska naam hai Aakash.. akele pan se pehle se hi jujhta... kisi se zyada baat chit nahi karta.... apni maa ko khone ke baad kabhi na mita paane wali dard ke sath sath sampurn roop se akelapan ka shikar ho gaya.. uske liye sab kuch ya tak ki duniya nirah si ho gayi.. duniya ke bhid mein tanha mehsus karne laga... to usne ek decision liya ki wo ab dharti pe nahi balki space pe rahega... waise pehle se iski taiyari kar raha tha.. matlab saaf tha ki is rang birangi duniya se zyada ushe space ke andhkkaar zyada pasand aaya...
waise hota hai... kayio ke sath hota hai jab akele pan ka shikar hote hai... to bas jaise jindagi hi kaatne ko doudta hai...
ab space yani ki ISS par apne dost nic ke sath pahunch ke uski mulaakat hanshmukh, utshah se paripurn Aurora se huyi... hairani ki baat yeh hai ki uske jindagi mein uski mom k baad ek Aurora hi thi jo Akash ke bin bole uske mann ki baat samajh jaaye.. chehre ke bhav dekhke hi bol de ki kya pareshani hai usko..

Khair.. ab din gujare.. dono ke bich pehle dosti phir shayad pyar bhi ho gaya tha.. Aurora ki sang rahkar wo apni tanhaiyo ko bhool ne laga tha... ek pyaar ka ehsaas uske mann ko gudguda sa gaya tha... lekin honi ko koun taal sakta hai.... ISS pe huyi ek durghatna ke chalte aur us durghatna ke waqt apach mein huyi bahas baazi ya Aurora dwara liye galat faisla ke chalte jaha Aurora marne ki kagar tak pahunch gayi thi wohi aakash ki bhi maut nischit thi.. par aain mauke par apni jaan ka parwah na karte huye nic ne dono ko bacha liya... par us radiator - 1 pe ghate durghatna ke chalte aur helmet huyi depressurized wajah se radiation ka shikar bani wo...
uske baad to jaise uski haalat bigadti gayi udhar usko dekh aakash bhi tutta gaya andar hi andar....ishi bich waha ISS pe treatment thik se na ho pane ke wajah se Aurora ko space shuttle ke jariye wapis prithvi le aaye.. lekin afsos aate waqt shuttle mein huye bhari dabav ke kaaran maari gayi... lekin hairan kar dene wali baat yeh hai uski marne ki wajah kuch aur hi thi... pehle se ek bahot hi durlav genetic bimari se grast thi.. radiator ki dhamake aur radiation ke chalte wo bimari activate ho gayi... jo ant mein uski maut ki kaaran bani...
so Aurora k jaane ke baad phir se wohi tanhayi wali jinadgi jeene laga ISS par .. wohi akela pan wohi nirah si jivan wohi khamoshi wohi viraniya .. jaise jeeta hai A... LONER

ab aate hai sameeksha par - - sapne tut te hai to tutne do . unme se ek tukda chuno aur phir se sapne ko buno... ummid ka daaman kabhi mat chhodo aakhiri saans tak... jo ummid ki naav par savar hokar nikloge to sahil ka milna tay hai.. mushkilein kiske raashte mein nahi? pareshaniya kiske jivan ka hissa nahi akela pan se pidit sirf kiya aakash hai.. dukh kya sirf uske hisse mein hai.. dukh to sabhi ke hisse mein hota hai.. par aakash ne dukh baatne ki jagah apne andar samet rakha.... yeh ek weak point hai uske liye.. itna padha likha hai phir bhi is baat ehsaas nahi hai kya ki dukh baatne se kam hota, aur tanav bhi..
aur baant nahi paa raha hai to inse paar pa le.. kyunki dukh dard tanhaiyo pareshaniyo paar ushi ko mil sakta hai jo dar kar baitha nahi... jisne lagatar koshish ki, jisne nirasha ko, tanhaiyo ko, akele pan ko apne upor haavi hone nahi diya.. jo haar kar bhi kabhi nahi hara, saralata usiko har aurr se milti hai...
kehte hai ummid pe duniya kayam hai... yeh ummid ka hi karisma hai ki kal jo kaam asambhav lage the aaj nahi kal sakar ho sakte hai.. aasha gahri Andhri raat mein dipak ki jalti lo ki saman hai.... Agar ye sambhav hai to aakash ke liye kyun sambhav nahi akele pan ke un gehre andhkkaar galiyo se bahar nikal, apne jindagi ko ek nayi ujale ke aurr le jaane ki.. ..
har chij har baatein har mahol.. damn it.. yaha tak buri duniya hi uske duswar ho gayi... raat chaahe kitni bhi andheri ho, chaahe kitni bhi lambi kyun na ho.. lekin uske baad aisa bhi waqt aata hai jab suraj apni roushni ki kiran bikhre din ka ujala lata hai.. tufan bhi aate hai phir Tham bhi jaate hai.. lekin us waqt majboor hoke nahi balki kud ko tab tak ke liye mamboot banaye rakhe jab tak andheri raat ya tufan tal na jaaye...
kayi logo jinhe apne jivan se apne aash paas ke mahol se, paristhitiyo se, jo anchahe ghatana ghatit hua uske liye bhi hamesha se hi sikayat rahti hai.. nakaratmak un par haavi rahti hai, apni ashafalata ke haazar kaaran unke paas rehte hai.. kuch kehte hai sahi mauka na mila, kuch kehte hai unke paas sanshadhano ka kami hai.. koi kehta hai koi apna chhod gaya hamesha ke liye isliye wo akela par gaya... to koi kehta hai hai prerna dene wala protshahit karenge nahi hai, ya na mila.. Jaise ki is kahani ka nayak... mana ki Aakash ko ghum hai, dard hai lekin ye nahi ki is tarah se nirah si jindagi jiye.. tanhaiyo mein apni jindagi ko bhent de de...
wo ek baar Aurora ya nic ko kyun nahi dekhta...
unke sakaratmak dristikon ko kyun nahi mahsoos kiya ya nahi dekha.. Kya unke jindagi mein dukh nahi, pareshaniya nahi.. are Aurora ko hi dekh lijiye.. tanhai uske jivan mein aayi thi.. to kya bahana banake baith gayi thi... nahi na... Aurora wo thi jo raashte talaste nahi balki raashte taraste hai banate hai apne liye.. aur ye hunar thi usme.. Divorced ke baad bhi kya tut gayi ya wahan space mein mahino dar mahino waqt bitake tanhaiyo ka shikar huyi.. nahi na.. kya ye sab najar nahi aaya usko ya mahsoos nahi kiya.. bas jivan sathi banani hai, shaadi karni hai, pyaar karna hai kya yahi yaad raha usko.. ya phir apne tanhaiyo mein khota raha..
dusri taraf nic.... ummid tha ki bacha lega isliye usne Aurora aur aakash ko bachake le aaye sahi salamat ISS pe...itne mahine bitaye wahan kuch sikh leta nic se bhi...
aur sabse aham uski maa.... uske sapno ke duniya se andhkaar ko door karne wali roshani thi, jinka daaman pakad kar wo bada hua... unke aanchal ne jab usko thand lagi toh grami pradan ki aur jab wo khud se ya kisi baat se gussa hota toh unke aanchal ne ushe sheetalta pradan ki.... kya unki dwara di gayi prerna se bhari wo baatein bhi bhool gaya Aakash..
maybe wo har ek baat ka ehsaas tha... bas jaanke bhi nazar andaz karta raha....
thokor khake girte sabhi hai kabhi na kabhi hai par girke khada hona aana chahiye..

aapki pasandida kirdaar koun thi aur kyun?
kahani ke Nayak Aakash ki mom....
chaahe kahani ho ya vastavik jivan mein maa se anmol aur koi nahi...
jis tarah unhone aakash ko sambhaala har waqt, har bure ho ya achhe doud mein unko ek salam... yahan tak ki aakash astrond banne ke piche unki mehnat, tyaag aur balidaan hai...
kya kirdaar aapko vastavik lage?
Haan....kahani ke kirdaar space aur ISS se jude huye hai to vastavik hi lage?
aur baat aakash aur uski mom ki.... yahan pe koi do ray nahi ki vastavik lage ki nahi.... kyunki har maa ke liye uska bachha hi anmol hota hai..
nic..... duty aur dosti.... dono nibhaye aur I think agar wo ghatna real mein hoti to koi na koi nic jaisa jarur hota jo bachane jata...
Aurora... ek aham bhumika mein rahi. .. waise space shuttle ya space ISS isko leke bahot zyada jaankari to nahi hai par itna to pata hai ki aise space jo kaam ya duties hote hai wohi kahani mein Aurora bhi kar rahi thi..
waise ek baat hai writer sahab ne bahot mehnat ki hai story pe aur reaches ki hai ye space aur space shuttle aur ISS ke upor is kahani ke liye tabhi to itne vastavik lage kahani ke kirdaar ke saath saath ke har Kirdaar bhi..

sabse pasandida bhaag kya tha aur kyun...?

well sabse pasandida bhaag woh tha jab us samay barish mein muh fulake aakash bench par baitha hua tha aur Saare teachers haar maan chuke the Aakash ko andar bula-bula kar... kuch ne jabardasti pakad kar andar le jaane ka bhi prayas kiya, lekin wo wahi zameen mein lotne laga aur unke hath ko gusse se kaat bhi diya... jiske baad haarkar unhone uski Maa ko bulayaa.... jo aayi toh chhata lekar thi par mujhe bheegta dekh chhata kinare kar uske sath wahi bheegte hue us bench me uske sath baith gayi....
aur jab aakash ke mann mein base bure vichar ya dar ya asurkshit baav ko dur kar ke bol rahi thi ki
wo kamjor nahi hai, agar agli baar koi aapko kamjor bolta ya kamjor banane ki koshish kare to majbuti date rahna unke samne kabhi kamjor mat banna... aur wo bahot khas hai, shayad khas log hamesha se hi kuch alag hote hai.. isliye aise ulte sidhe vicharo ko mann mein na laye...
jis tarike samjha rahi thi, wo baatein aur wo situation wo dil ko chu gayi...

Kuch vishes prakar ke drishya - udaharan ke liye dukhad, tanavpurn drishya, rahasyamay?

sabse tanavpurn aur dukhad drishya wo jab us din uski maa Standford Center me apni aakhiri saanse le rahi thi aur fir wo pal bhi aaya jab unhone apni aakhiri saans li... jab aakash ek tak wahi unke paas baitha unhe ek tak dekhta raha...
aur jab apni maa ko pukarne par tab hamesha ki tarah dusari taraf se koyi jawab nahi aaya....
aur dusri... jab space shuttle se prithvi ki aurr jane pehle jo Aurora barbara ke bol rahi thi behoshi mein.. ki uski bhi khwahish thi aakash ke sath jindagi bitane ki lekin agle hi mod pe pata chale ki uski mrityu ho gayi.. bune huye Khwaab ye bhi adure hi reh gaye...
aur tanavpurn ki kya hoga ab.... jab Aurora ko leke Aakash ISS ki aurr aate waqt EMV - X band hone baad SAFER bhi band ho gaya tha...

Kya kahani ne hanshya ya rulaya?

hanshaya bas kuch palon ke liye jab nic ko kisi ne ek ajibo garib naam se sambodhit kiya tha... aur uska arth aakash se puch raha tha wo..
par jo drishya dikhaye gaye hai ya kirdaaro ke sath jo hua, khas aakash ki mom aur Aurora ke sath.... koi bhi reader padhke ro de......

kya kahani aapko ant tak jude rehne ke liye majboor kiya?

shat pratishat...... chaahe kitne bhi shadb jod lun sameeksha ke liye par wo bhi kam hi pade is epic story line ke liye...... jindagi ki ek karvi sachhai chupi hai.. jaha is kahani mein wohi aapko ek maa ki mamta bhi dekhne ko milegi... jahan bichhadne ka dard bhi hai.. to kisise milne ki aur ek adventure journey bhi dekhne ko milegi..jaha aapko ek akelapan se jujhta kirdaar dikhega wohi kisi tyaag aur balidaan bhi dekhne ko milengi....
naye readers se yahi request hai ki ek baar jarur padhe is kahani ko... kyunki kahani ne suruwat se hi ek gati li hai jo ant tak kayam hai....

shayad Writer sahab hume yeh batana chahte hai is kahani ke jariye ki hume paristhitiyo ko koshna nahi balki unhe swikar karna chahiye.. har haal mein mein khush rehna hai aur jo badlav jaruri hai, waha apni ummidon ke bal par, apne aatmvishvas ke bal par badlav lana hai... dukh ke kaanto ke bich hume sukh ke phool chun'ne hai . jaise Aurora ne dhund li thi .. ek raashta band ho jaaye to hume dusra rasta talashna chahiye.. jaise nic ne dhund liya tha Aurora aur Aakash ki jaan bachane ke liye.... aur chunotiya jo bhi samne chaahe akela pan aur ghor tanhayi hi kyun na aa jaaye jindagi mein unka samna saant mann aur ek sathik saant soch vichar ke sath samna karne ke liye taiyar rahna hai... jaise Aakash ki mom ne ushe sikh di thi... unki baaton ka ek arth bhi nikalta hai...upor wale ne jo aapko jindagi di hai ushe pyaar karna sikhe... yun jaya na hone de...
.... chaahe mushkilein ho tanhai ya akela pan Aakash k tarah nahi balki Aurora ki tarah muskuharaton ko lana hai apne jivan mein aur apne utshah ki kirano se hume sampurn vatavaran ko sajib aur mukorit banana hai... taaki isse na keval aap balki aapke aas paas walo ko ek nayi ummid ek nayi utshah mile...

aur akhir mein kuch shabd writer sahab ke liye.. Kahani mein kaafi mod aaye joh kahani ko dilchaspi banaye rakhi ... ek achhe writer ke gun, lakshan yeh ki kahani ki jariye, kahani ke kirdaaro ke jariye kahani ke naam ko sarthak kar de.... jisme aap pure tarike se kamyab rahe...

Really badhte update ke sath sath kahani aur bhi zyada interesting hoti jaa rahin thi...
Har ek pehlu ko aapne dhyan dete huye kahani ko aage badha rahe the ..
jindagi ki karvi sachhai ko realize kar dene wale drisya , thodi bahot suspense , heavy emotions ke sath sath thrill aur adventure ke bhi anokhi sangam hai kahani mein ... ... kahani ki ghatana karm aise ki aankho ke samne hi ghat rahi ho... aur kirdaar... jo kahani mein jahan bhi jarurat padi wahan apni bhumika sathik roop se nibha rahe the kahani ki har ek pehlu mein....

yeh bhi ek sach hai ki aapki is kahani mein har ek kirdaar ki mahattva purn hai.. I mean to say ek kirdaar bhi hata diya jaye toh kahani adhuri hai...
Hum hamesha hero heroine pe hi zyada dhyaan Kendrit karte hain... lekin yeh yaad rakhna chahiye ki baaki kirdaaro ke bina multiple ya pramukh kirdaar kuch bhi nahin.... aur aap kahani mein sabhi kirdaaro ke sath ek justify karte hain... Isliye aapki yeh kahani meri favorites kahaniyo mein se ek ho gayi hai....
aise hi likhte rahiye aur humari manoranjan karte rahiye

Oh haan...
Brilliant story line with awesome writing skills Yug Purush sahab

Naina
Ye review h yaa glti se koi story post ho gsi h..

 

[Daredevil420]

~A LONER



​

Spoiler

Day- 1 ~Rise

I always hated the earth and when my mother passed away two weeks ago, I couldn’t bear to live in the Earth for a moment.... aur aaj mujhe is jagah se finally mukti mil rahi thi...

T- 3 Hours

ye wo samay tha jab mera safar ISS (International Space Station) ke liye shuru hua. Soyuz space Shuttle ke launch hone ke teen ghante phle, jab main, Nicodemus aur Omar launchpad ke liye nikle... hum teeno excited the. Un dono ke antarman me kya tha, main puri taarah nahi bata sakta, par yadi baat karu apni toh... I have always loved the empty space more than anything in this cursed world.

“Pilot Omar to Space Center-1 and 2... all checked and cleared...”

“Nic to Space Center-1 and 2... all checked and cleared... AF”

2 hafte pahle meri maa ke guzar jaane ke bad ekmatra yahi wo jagah thi, jaha main jana chahta tha, jaha main rahna chahta tha , jise main feel karna chahta tha ya fir kahu ki ekmatra aisi jagah jaha main rah sakta tha.

“This is Aakash to Space Center-1 and 2... all checked and cleared....”

T- 20 Minutes

“Pilot Omar to Space Center. Countdown Resumed . now, closing the Vent Valves... launch confugiration state 1.. 2.. 3.... Space Center -1 & 2. All Cleared...”

“Space Center to Soyuz... You are cleared... Go up there and fill the bloody empty space... Godspeed”

T- 10 Seconds

Aur jaise hee countdown shuru hua , main beet rahe har ek second ko apne mann me ginne laga. Shuttle ke first engine ke start hote hee dharti gunj uthi aur kanpan karte hue dheere-dheere hume upar uthane lagi. Main Engine ke start hote hee ye gunj aur bhi tej hua... Soyuz shuttle ke speed badhne ke sath-sath mere dil ki dhadkane bhi badh rahi thi. Aur jab hum speed me upar jaane lage toh aisa laga maano jaise koyi gorilla kudkar meri chhati par baitha mujhe daba raha ho...

Waise to ISS ki doori surface se sirf 400 km thi par... 17000 miles ki speed se prithvi ke chakkar lagate ISS se dock karna is doori ko bahut badha deta tha aur kayi baar toh aisa bhi hota ki kayi din lag jaate hai, ISS ko pakadna. Lekin hume din nahi lage... 15:15 ko Soyuz Prithavi se launch hua aur 21:45 ko ISS ke sath docking successful hui.

“welcome on board...”docking ke baad jab hum ISS ke andar aaye toh Aurora hum teeno se boli



Day- 8 ~Aurora

Aurora ISS me pichhale teen mahine se thi aur use kuch mahine yaha aur bitana tha. lekin uske sath wale 3 astronauts Soyuz me Omar ke sath wapas laut gaye...

Yaha kayi din lag gaye mujhe aur Nic ko ISS ke parivesh me khud ko dhaalne me. Zero gravity me sharir ke lower part ke liquid bhi brain ki taraf move karne lagte hai, jisse mera face me sujan bhi hua . Lekin jab kuch din beete toh body ne khud ko adjust kar liya.

“good morning...” jab main apne capsule se nikalkar tairate hue excersice module me gaya toh waha pahle se mauzood Aurora mujhse boli...

Aurora 35 saal ki thi. divorced, no kids. Wo ISS ke apne demonstration Video ke kaaran neeche Earth par already kafi popular ho chuki thi. Waha neeche uske laakho chahne waale the, jo uske zero gravity ki is kali duniya se uske wapas lautne ka intezaar kar rahe the. Aurora ke Laakho chahne walo ke aalawa kayi news channels wale bhi uske lautne ka besabri se intezaar kar rahe the .

Wo meri tarah hee yaha 6 mahine ke liye Space station me thi, jisme se lagbhag 3 mahine uske pure ho chuke the. Aurora research ke liye bane Destiny lab ke sath-sath hum dono ki bhi head thi. hum usi ke instructions follow karte. Hume instruction dete waqt, humse baat karte waqt wo beech-beech me jab muskurati toh Nic ke according... uski muskaan aise thi, maano north pole me sach me aurora ka dikhna... meri maa ke gujar jaane ki jo udasi mere andar thi, wo is empty space me ab dheere-dheere shant hone lagi thi. Especially jab Aurora muskura kar aurora bikherati thi aur uspar se Nick ki harkate....

“Mr. A, here...”

Nic aksar free time me ya exercise karte samay zero gravity me tairate hue apna dance move mujhe dikhaya karta tha. jo the toh bahut bakwas par zero gravity use bhi aakarshak bana deti thi.



Day-20 ~Nicomdeus

“why did you become an astronaut ? Mr. A” exercise karne ke dauran Nic ne mujhse puchha...

Exercise humare liye bahut jaroori tha . ek din me atleast 2 hours hum exercise karte the, taaki zero gravity me humare bones aur muscles fragile naa ho... jab maine koyi jawab nahi diya toh Nic ne apna sawal dohraya...

“Mr. A...?”

“you are not the fucking director, Nic... I don’t answer you... ”

“still I need an answer for my demonstration Video..”Aurora apna camera lekar tairate hue exercise module me aayi, uske ISS demonstration video me ab hum dono bhi shamil hone lage the.

“I don’t know...”

“Still I need an answer Aakash...”

“I guess, I was good at math and science...”maine jawab diya. Aurora ko main waise naa nahi kar paya jaise maine Nic ko kiya tha.

“and you Nic...?”Camera ka rukh Nick ki taraf modte hue Aurora puchhi...

“well, because it’s the.... fucking coolest job ever... now see this...”upar jaate hue Nic bola aur ek backflip markar khud par proud feel karne laga.

Kabhi-kabhi toh uski harkate dekhkar mujhe lagta hai ki yaha bhi management quota rahta hai kya...? wo pakka management quota ke kaaran hee yaha ISS me aa paya hai.



Day-27 ~Cupola

ISS me mera chautha saptaah. Ab meri body is zero gravity ke hisab se puri tarah adjust ho chuki hai. ab koyi bhi headache ya upset stomach jaisi problem nahi hoti aur yadi medical problem hoti hai toh JIN name ka robot use suljha deta hai. bas chirag ghiso aur JIN aapke saamne turant prakat ho jayega “kya huqum mere aaka..” wali line ke sath. Dusare shabdo me kahu toh JIN, ISS me mauzood humare Robot ka name hai aur yadi teesare shabdo me kahu toh main ab yaha khush rahne laga tha.

ISS me 27th day aur itne dino se main baitha nahi hoon, sirf tair raha hoon. Kal maine 800 pounds ka vajan apne ek hath se utha liya tha, ye sab zero gravity ka kamal hai aur isi ke kaaran hum yaha chalte nahi balki.... udte hai. kuch dino se humare radiator-1 me kuch problem ki report thi, jiske kaaran Aurora ke sath main ya fir Nic hum dono me se kisi ek ko ISS ke baahar Radiator ki repairing ke liye Spacewalk pe jaana tha. ab Ye Aurora pe depend karta hai ki wo Spacewalk ke liye kise chunti hai, mujhe ya fir Nick ko.

ISS me mera mission repairing ya parts replacement me help karna aur spacewalk ke liye bane latest spacesuit EMV-X ki testing karna tha. Taaki yadi koyi astronaut yadi spacewalk ke dauran ISS se door ho jaye toh Spacesuit me lage Thruster ki madad se 17000 miles per hour ki speed se prithavi ke chakkar laga rahe is ISS ko wapas pakad sake. Nic ka mission bhi yahi tha, hum dono ek-dusare ke backup the.

Yaha apne liye free time bahut kam hee milta hai par jab bhi milta hai toh main cupola, jaha windows ke through ISS se earth ko dekh sakte hai, waha apna samay jayan karta tha. Cupola se neeche dekhne pe jitna romanch ka anubhav hota tha, utna dar bhi lagta ki kya ho yadi ye sabhi windows achanak se toot jaaye toh...? par fir mujhe meri maam ka khayal aata hai. mujhe earth se jodne wali ekmatra wahi thi aur unke jaane ke baad ab mujhe koyi fark nahi padta tha. kyunki neeche ki neele rang ki rangeen duniya me mera jeewan puri tarah rangheen tha. naa toh koyi dost aur naa hee koyi dushman.. naa hee koyi pyar karne wala aur naa hee koyi nafrat karne wala. Waha meri zindagi ek empty space ki tarah thi , complete vacuum aur yaha is empty space me puri bhari hui...

“step aside... Aakash...”

Cupola se neeche earth ko dekhte hue meri soch me vighn daalte hue Aurora waha aayi aur Cupola ki windows se earth ke view apne camera me kaid karne lagi.

“let’s play a game.... where are we...”Camera se apni nazar hata kar neeche Earth ki taraf dekhte hue usne mujhse puchha...

“Africa...?”neeche Earth ki taraf kuch der tak dekhne ke baad maine jawab diya aur confirm karne ke liye Aurora ki oor apni najre ghumayi... mera jawab sahi tha.

“I think.. I know... why did you chose this profession...”

“really...?”Cupola ki windows se hatkar ek oor hawa me khade hote hue main chauka

“you’re A Loner... you love the empty space more than anything in this universe and that’s why... you have already applied for the future Mars Space Station Mission ~ Gateaway....”

Main waise toh bahut baat-chit karne waalo me se nahi hoon aur aksar chup hee rahta hoon... lekin Aurora ke is jawab ne mujhe sach me chup kara diya tha. aakhiri baar jiske shabdo ka mujhpar itna gahra asar hua tha wo shabd Stanford Medical Care me dum todti hui meri maa ke shabd the aur unhone hee aaj tak is pure brahmand me mujhe thik tarah se samjha tha. meri udasi aur mere akelepan ko bimari ki bajay meri kabiliyat me unhone hee tabdil kiya tha aur unhi ki badaulat main aaj yaha hoon.

Aurora dusari thi. Main uski aankho me ek pal ke liye ban rahe prithavi ke pratibimb ko dekhta raha, is ashcharya ke sath ki koyi insaan kisi dusare insaan ko itni gehrayi se kaise samajh sakta hai. wo bhi itni jaldi.... itna sateek.



Day-30 ~Mommy

“who’s she....”

Main bachpan se hee aisa tha aur jab mere dad ek American firangi ke liye mujhe aur meri Maa ko chhod gaye toh mere andar bahut gussa tha. fir ek din school me kuch ladko ne meri maa ko lekar Mazak udaya toh meri unse maar-pit bhi hui.... jisme main bahut pita aur fir gusse se School ke park ki ek bench me apna gaal fulakar gusse se baith gaya... us samay barish ho rahi thi aur Saare teachers haar maan chuke the mujhe andar bula-bula kar... kuch ne jabardasti pakad kar mujhe andar le jaane ka bhi prayas kiya, lekin main wahi zameen me lotne laga aur unke hath ko gusse se kaat bhi diya... jiske baad haarkar unhone meri Maa ko bulayaa.... jo aayi toh chhata lekar thi par mujhe bheegta dekh chhata kinare kar mere sath wahi bheegte hue us bench me mere sath baith gayi....

“are you waiting for the rainbow to show up..? Aksh..”muskurate hue meri maa mujhse puchhi...

“I didn’t do the homework and for that they punished me...”saaf jhooth bolte hue gaal fulakar maine apna chehra dusari taraf kar liya...

“or you are punishing yourelf for what your father did to us...?”

“why am I so weak and different , Mommy...”

“no.. no... Aksh”mujhe apne seene se chipkate hue meri maa boli “You’re not weak... if next time anyone call you weak... just show them, your strong muscles... ok and you are very special and special people always tend to be a bit different...”

“I Love you, Mommy....”

“I Love you too, Aksh....”

Meri maa mere sapno ke duniya ke andhkaar ko door karne wali roshani thi, jinka daaman pakad kar main bada hua... unke aanchal ne jab mujhe thand lagi toh grami pradan ki aur jab main khud se ya kisi baat se gussa hua toh unke aanchal ne mujhe sheetalta pradan ki....

Aur wo din bhi aaya jab meri maa Standford Center me apni aakhiri saanse le rahi thi aur fir wo pal bhi aaya jab unhone apni aakhiri saans li... main wahi unke paas baitha unhe dekhta raha , unke chale jaane ke ghanto baad room andar se lock karke wahi unke paas baitha raha aur tab tak baitha raha jab tak hospital staff ne gate todkar mujhe waha se door nahi kiya.... do hafte baad ISS ke liye mujhe ravaana hona tha par apni maa ko aise, is haalat me dekh maine apna naam wapas lene ka soch liya tha... lekin Meri maa ne apna jeewan hee tyaag kar mere sapno ko jaate-jaate bhi apna sahara de diya tha... main cheekh-cheekh kar roya toh nahi , par jab hospital staff mujhe meri maa se jabardasti door le jaa rahe the toh meri jubaan se sirf ek line....

“I Love You...... Mommy....”

Par aaj hamesha ki tarah dusari taraf se koyi jawab nahi aaya aur jaise hee maine ek aakhiri baar Mommy kaha, meri baanyi aankh se aansu ki ek boond apne aap nikal gayi.

.

“who’s she....”mere screen me ek photo dekhkar Aurora mujhse puchhi...

“My Mommy... who devoted her life to me...”



Day-40 ~Spacewalk

“why are you so blue...?”

Finally wo din aaya , jiske liye main yaha aaya tha. Spacewalk. Aurora ne Nic ki bajay mujhe apne sath Spacewalk ke liye chuna tha . ISS ke Radiator-1 ki heat release karne ki capacity me complaint kayi din se thi aur aaj waha neeche se Center dwara clearance milne ke baad hum puri tarah taiyar the.

Spacewalk ke experience ko shabdo me bayan nahi kiya jaa sakta, matlab earth me jaha 60-70 miles per hour ki speed se drive karna illegal hota hai wahi Earth se itni door 17000 mph ki speed se chal rahe ISS ke bahar, jaha ek dust particle bhi yadi takra jaaye toh injured kar de... waha ye legal tha. Tether rope se khud ko attach karke Aurora ne hatch khola aur ISS se bahar nikli... uske peechhe-peechhe main bhi uske nakshe kadam par ISS se baahar aaya. Hum dono Radiator-1 ke paas pahuche. Jis latest EMV-X suit ki testing ke liye mujhe yaha bheja gaya tha, uski bajay main normal EMV suit me hee spacewalk par tha.. ye farman upar se hee aaya tha.. mera matlab neeche se. jiske kaaran main thoda udas bhi tha.

“why are you so blue...?”Cooling panel ke paas jaate hue Aurora mujhse puchhi...

“I’m fine...”

“you’re broken up over director for not letting you use the EMV-X..”

Aur main ek baar fir se shant ho gaya, isliye nahi ki mujhe baat-chit karna pasand nahi. balki isliye ki koyi insaan , kisi dusare insaan ki mansik sthiti ko itna kaise samajh sakta hai. Aurora ye kaise jaan gayi ? wo bhi is vishal empty space me tairte hue sirf mere chehre ke expression se...? is it that obvious...? shayad mujhe bhi dost banana chahiye tha. Tab shayad main ye samajh pata. Main sunglass ki chamkili layer pure helmet me chadhate hue muskuraya, jisse Aurora mere chehre ke expression ko naa dekh paaye... uske saamne toh ab sirf ek chamkili layer thi.

“I’ve seen your ISS demonstration videos on youtube..”

“really...? did you subscribe to my channel...?”

“yep... have you ever thought about the flat Earthers ? I mean... your videos are destroying their whole belief”

“well, they can pretend that they didn’t see that or they can tell themselves that, it’s all fake and CGI...”



Day- 53 ~The Kiss

“hey, Mr. A... you now hindi.... Right...? what does it mean... Lau..Laura kabal.. Laura ka baal...”

Mujhe bhale hee hee prithavi utni pyari naa ho lekin prithavi khud me ek miracle thi, ispe mujhe kabhi koyi aitraaz nahi raha. Lekin yaha zero gravity me us miracle ka extended version dekhne ko milta hai... kyunki yaha kisi bhi chiz ki koyi limit nahi thi.

“Mr. A tum aisa kar sktaaa kya....”mujhse hindi me baat karne ki koshish karte hue Nic bola aur ISS ke andar tair rahe water bubble ko apne muh se bahar nikal kar kuch der ke liye use hawa me tairne diya aur thodi der baad fir usi water bubble ko pura gatak kar ISS ke ceiling ki taraf upside down jump karte hue apni aankhe band kar li....

Zero gravity me rahne ka ek aur fayda ye hai ki hum bats ki tarah ISS ki chhat se ulta latak kar so sakte hai... par bats ki tarah sone se pahle Nic ne mujhse ek do sawal aur puchhe....jaise ki..

“hey, Mr. A... you now hindi.... Right...?”

“well, My Parents were Indians..”

“ what does it mean... Lau..Laura kabal.. Laura ka baal... an indian guy said it to me...”

“it means... you are handsome...”

Aurora ke demonstration Video me ab hum bhi aane lage the aur Nic ko kisi indian ne Laude ka baal kah diya tha... kyun kaha pata nahi.

“and what does it mean... Behan ka laure......?”

“it means.. your sister are handsome too... I mean.. beautiful.”

“oh... let me thank him. You Indians are so sweet...”

“yep.. we really are...”

Ye humara free time tha aur free time me main aksar ya fir kahu ki hamesha cupola ki khidkiyo se Earth ko dekhkar apni maa ko yaad kiya karta tha. Earth mujhe meri maa ki yaad dilati thi aur jab main apni maa ko earth se symbolize karta tha toh mujhe thoda bahut samajh aata ki hum earth ko Mother Earth kyun kahte hai... par fir bhi ...

“Aakash...? how much does it cost to send an astronaut to ISS...”Nic ke jaane ke baad Aurora waha aayi

“more than 50 Million dollars per astronaut , I guess...”

“so, sometimes I wonder why we spend that much money on Space Exploration when we have so many probems already on earth....? Have you...? ever.....? I mean.. more than 50 million dollar , that too for one person... yet we do it...”Aurora Cupola ki khidkiyo se bilkul satkar meri taraf apna chehra karke puchhi....

“we do it, because......... whenever a time comes where we have to leave the earth, we could ... that’s why ”

Aurora mera jawab sunkar bilkul chup ho gayi aur main toh waise bhi chup-chap rahne wala hee jeev tha... uska naa toh ye sawal galat tha aur naa hee mera ye jawab... usne wo puchha kyunki wo uske mann me tha aur maine ye kaha kyunki ye mere mann me tha. maine on the spot , on the moment jo jawab mere mann me aaya wo de diya... lekin mere us jawab ke baad Aurora mujhe kuch der ke liye dekhti rahi aur main uski aankho me ban rahe neele pratibimb ko... fir usne zero gravity me apne lahrate hue julfo ke sath apni aankhe band karke apna chehra meri taraf badhaya.. maine bhi waisa hee kiya. Maine bhi apni aankhe band ki aur apne honth uski taraf badhaya.... par

“hey, ,Mr. A .. do you know why Einstein was great....?”Nic wapas aaya

“no..”khud ko sambhalte hue maine apna chehra Aurora se turant door kiya...

“because his hair defied the gravity on earth...”

Kuch seconds lage mujhe ye samajhane me . Nic, Einstein ke photos me unke lahraate hue baal ki taraf ishaara kar raha tha , jisme unke baal waise hee lahrate the maano wo ISS me ho.



Day-70 ~EMV-X

“what do you like most about ISS, about being here...”Aurora mujhse puchhi...

Ammonia leakage ki problem ek baar fir se shuru ho gayi thi , jiske kaaran hum ek baar fir spacewalk pe the. Pahli baar jab main Spacewalk par Aurora ke sath aaya tha toh main nervous adhik aur excited kam tha lekin is baar ye equation bilkul ulti thi... abki main excited jyada tha , jiski ek vazah ye bhi thi ki main ordinary EMV spacesuit ki bajay EMV-X me tha. ordinary EMV me apne body ko fit karne ke liye jaha kayi ghante lagte hai, wahi EMV-X me ye kaam chand minutes me ho jaata hai. iske aalawa isme kamar ke paas Oxygen cylinder ke neeche extra thruster bhi laga tha... taki kabhi kisi accident ke kaaran yadi koyi astronaut ISS se door ho jaaye toh wapas ISS par aa sake. Ye kaam Ordinary EMV me chest ke paas laga SAFER bhi karta tha. par uski power EMV-X ke mukabale negligible thi.

Leakage ek baar fir Radiator-1 me hua tha, jiski repairing humne pahle ki thi, ye leakage itna jyada tha ki jis din ye leakage shuru hua uske kuch hee ghanto baad hume repairing ke liye, spacewalk pe jaana pada. Waise bhi ye Earth thodi hai, ye toh space hai... yaha zero gravity me bhala kya galat ho sakta hai. Empty space toh mera ghar hai. aisi meri maansikta thi.

Baat karu apni aur Aurora ki toh Nic ne baad me mujhe bataya tha ki us din cupola me humare beech jo kiss hote hote rah gaya uske liye wo bahut sharminda hai... uska kahna tha ki meri tarah Aurora ki bhi aankhe band thi aur uske honth meri taraf ahista ahista badh rahe the. Ab mujhe Nic bhi bhane laga hai. matlab ye bhi kitna ironical hai ki 7.5 billion ki abaadi waale grah me jaha pag-pag par jeewan vyapt hai, mujhe jeewan us-se door yaha is vacuum me mila, Jaha jeewan ka koyi naam-o-nishan tak nahi hai. Aurora aur maine uske baad naa toh kabhi us bare me koyi baat ki aur naa hee humare beech fir aisa koyi moment aaya... par ab hum aksar ek-dusare ki niji zindagi ke bare me sawal puchhte.. ek dusare ke sath aksar ISS me udte... Aurora ke kaaran ab mujhe Earth ki khoobsurati jo pahle bejaan si lagti thi, ab mera man moh leti thi...

“so, what do you like most about ISS... about being here.” Aurora ne apna sawal repeat kiya...

“no one could get bored here ... I mean, suppose.. you’re bored.. hell, no problem.. you can always go for a fly...like a superman...”

“I think... the question should have been.. who do you like most in ISS.. Right , Mis. A..?”Nic beech me bol pada, jo Radiator ke badhte temperature me ISS ke andar se nazar rakhe hue tha...

“just Shut up, Nic....”

Aurora ISS me ab sirf 20 din ki aur mehman thi... uske 6 mahine pure ho rahe the aur isi ke sath hee use prithavi par wapas lautna tha. mera vash chale toh main humare 6 mahine ke mission ko 6 saal me badal du ya fir 60 saal me... jab tak ki retirement ki age naa ho. par humari body sath nahi deti... mujhe Earth ko dekhkar wahi feeling aati hai jo dusare planet ko dekh kar ya fir sunkar.... mere liye Earth , is vast space ke samundar me tairta hua sirf ek khoobsurat pind hai... ghar toh ye ISS hai.

“leakage fixed... I think....”Aurora meri taraf dekh kar boli....

Jaise-jaise Aurora ke wapas jaane ke din najdeek aa rahe the, mere mann me ek sawal tha.. jo main usse yaha jaane se pahle hee puchh lena chahta tha... kyunki baad me mujhe bharosha nahi tha ki ye puchhne ka mauka mujhe milega bhi ya nahi.. isliye uske baaki bache 20 din pure hone ke pahle hee main ye sawal usse karna chahta tha. par mujhe wo shabd nahi mil rahe tha.. jo ki mere is sawal ko sawal ka roop de sake...

“Leakage fixed... Nic, check the Temperature parameter....”Aurora Radiator-1 se door hote hue boli...

“will you go to the Mars with me on Gateway Mission...?”aakhirkar maine puchh hee liya

Ye sawal tha toh bahut normal.... bahut normal.. atleast mere liye. par iska saaf-saaf matlab tha ki ...~ Aurora, will you marry me and will spend rest of your eternity with me wandering around the red planet ~...

Us bade se helmet ke peechhe Aurora ke chehre ke badalte expression ko main us vishal vacuum me bhi dekh sakta tha, par wo expressions positive the ya negative ... ye main nahi samajh paya. us waqt toh bilkul bhi nahi... itni samajh hee nahi thi mere andar. Aur fir.....

Nic: Leakage is not fixed.... I Repeat... Leakage is not fixed... Radiator-1 can not dissipate the heat any more...

Nick ki ye warning humne sun li thi par us samay hum dono ki situation aisi thi ki kuch samay lag gaya wo warning hume samajhne me... Aurora mujhe dekhti aur main use.... fir jab Nic ek aur baar chillaya tab Aurora ka dhyan toota, usne Radiator-1 ki taraf dekha... jaha se ammonia gas ki steam Radiator se bahar aate hue saaf dikh rahi thi aur fir ek halki si lau bhi....

“Zvezda Module gonna explode.... Aksh, I need you to go inside the Zvezda module and break all the connection with the Radiator-1...”

“I think, it’s too late...for that...”Nic bola...

“I think that, too... the only way to overcame this situation is repair the leak or bomb the Radiator-1... manually...”

“just go inside of freaking Zvezda Module and break all the connection with Radiator-1. now go... what are you staring at.... do not be dumb, just fucking go... right now... just gooooo”

Meri saari practice, saari study, saari samajh Aurora ke is instruction ke khilaf thi... par jab usne is tarah se mujh par dabav banaya toh.... waise bhi Zvezda module hee aisa ISS ka part tha jaha station ki life support systems aur backup fuel stored tha. Radiator-1 , Zvezda module ki radiation se generate hone wale heat ko control karta tha. par ab wo heat kam karne ke bajay , adhik kar raha tha... jisse life support system fail ho sakte the, store fuel explode ho sakta tha... ab sirf do raaste the yaa toh leakage ko wapas fix kiya jaaye ya fir Radiator ko manually explode kiya jaaye taki Zvezda Module fail naa ho... hume prithavi par sikhaya bhi yahi gaya tha, VR simulation me.

“Fucking go.....i will try to fix the leakage...”Aurora ek baar fir helmet ke andar se cheekhi....

Aur main Zvezda module ki taraf badha...

“Nic, Switch off Aurora’s mic....”

Aurora: what.. why..Nooo...”

Nic: it’s off, Mr. A...”

“what’s your opinion... what should I do...”

Nic: leakage can not be fixed... it’s too late... Manual explosion is our only way...”

“connect her...”

Nic: she’s on line...”

Aurora Radiator-1 se nikal rahi steam ki oor badh rahi thi.

“Aurora, do not ... Aurora... please....”

Aurora: I am doing what should I do, Aksh.... It’s not about you and me... it’s about the.....”

Nic: She is not trying to fix the leakage but ....

Aurora: You’re right, Nic. I’m gonna Bomb the Radiator-1. Standard Procedure. I just needed to get Aakash away from the explosion area. Testing EMV-X is most important for the Agency, so are you and Aakash...”

“Aurora... Listen to me... You can’t do iiittt...”

Nic: What the fffff

Jiske baad Zvezda Module ka hatch pakade hue mujhe aag ki lapte dikhayi di aur un aag ke lapto me samata Raadiator-1. us explosion ke kaaran ISS buri tarah Vibrate hua aur main Zvezda Module ke hatch se jor se takraya... par Aurora.... Aurora explosion ke bilkul karib thi... infact usi ne ye explosion initiate kiya tha...

“thrust cylinder leaked..... Nic...”

“Nic...?”

Nic: my head is bleeding....

“where is Aurora, Nic”

Nic: She is....oh god...”

Aurora ke dwara kiye gaye Explosion ke kaaran tether rope toot kar tukdo me tabdil ho gaya tha aur explosion ke kaaran jo thrust generate hua uska impact itna jyada tha ki wo ISS se door prithavi ki oor pushed hui... par wo neeche nahi gir rahi thi , balki ISS ki tarah hee ISS se door apne hee ek orbit me Prithavi ke charo oor ghoom rahi thi..... Nic ne jab mujhe ye bataya toh , peechhe mudkar maine Aurora ko dekha aur use ISS se door dekh turant EMV-X ka main thruster on kiya..

Nic: Aakash..? what are you doing...?

“testing the EMV-X...”

Nic: Your Thruster has leakage... you won’t be able to...

“just guide me through all of this....”Thruster on karke khud ko tether rope se detach kar main Aurora ki oor khud ko push kiya....

Nic: you can’t do it... she is at the end of zero gravity orbit. Your thrusters will push you beyond that towards The Earth... You can’t do it , A...”

“I have to....”

Aurora ISS ke parallel hee dusare orbit me thi... mera us tak pahuchna jitna mushqil tha usse bhi jyada, use lekar ISS ko wapas pakadna... upar se thruster bhi leak ho chuka tha... neeche prithavi par VR Simulation me maine kayi baar ye kiya tha.. lekin aksar Thruster ki power jyada hone par, mera khud par control nahi rahta tha aur main apne aim ke aage nikal jaata tha... lekin aaj ye option nahi tha. aaj ye nahi hona chahiye tha. isliye main thruster sirf thodi-thodi der ke on karke khud ko Aurora ki taraf halka push karta ... maine aisa kayi baar kiya aur jab mujhe laga ki iske baad main aage nikal jaunga yaani, toh thruster band kar diya

“she is not awake.....?”

Nic: her helmet is depressurized.... She may be dead already. Mr. A, come back to ISS....

Nic: Mr. A, our mission is beyond her life... do not boost your thrusters... Mr. A, please do not boost your main thruster. It will push you beyond the Zero Gravity Space. Earth’s Gravity will burn you alive...

“How far is she from me....”

Nic: 20 ...

“and now...”Turant thruster on karke off karke maine khud ko Aurora ki oor push kiya....

“it’s 8... no.. 7... Mr. A, please do not boost your thruster....”

Maine apna hath Aurora ki taraf kiya... Aurora mera hath pakad leti yadi wo hosh me hoti ... maine bahut koshish ki, apne sharir ki puri taqat jhok di bina thruster on kiye khud ko Aurora ki taraf push karne ki... lekin wo ab bhi door thi...

Nic: SAAAFEERRRRR.....

“SAFER...?”

Nic: It has low boosting power....

SAFER....? yes... main apne ek hath ko dheere-dheere apne chest ki taraf le gaya aur spacesuit me seene ke beecho-beech lage SAFER ko boost kiya , jiske kaaran main fir Aurora ki taraf push hua.... Aurora stable nahi thi... wo apne aap me hee bahut tej gati se gol-gol ghoom rahi thi..

Nic: six... five... four... three... two.... off your SAFER.

Aurora ab meri pahuch me thi , par wo itni tej gati se gol-gol ghoom rahi thi ki uska hath jo meri pakad me aa raha tha, wo turant uske round-round ghumne ke kaaran chhut jaata... kuch der tak aise hee kabhi Aurora ka hath ek pal ke liye mujhse touch hota, toh kabhi uska helmet toh kabhi uske sharir ka koyi aur hissa....

“I can’t hold her...”

Nic: Do not.....

Aurora ko aim karke Maine SAFER ko fir se halka boost kiya aur seedhe usse jaa takraya aur turant EMV-X ke main thruster ko on Karke ISS ki oor muda...

Aurora ka hath maine apne ek hath se pakda aur apne dusare hath se EMV-X ka thruster boost kiya. lekin ab ISS ko pakadne bahut mushqil tha. Maine Thruster on kiya aur khud Aurora ko pakad kar ISS ki oor badha.....

“how much power left, Nic...”

Nic: 20 %... 18... 15... Leakage is becoming wide...

Nic: 10 %

Nic: come on, come onnnnn.... Mr. A

par Thrusters beech me band ho gaye aur fir ek jhatke se main , Aurora ke sath wapas ISS se door jaane laga... main thruster band hote hee maine chest ke paas SAFER ko bhi boost kiya, jisne kuch doori tak fir se mujhe ISS ki oor push kiya... par thodi der baad wo bhi band ho gaya... SAFER ke band hote hee main samajh gaya ki ye mera ant hai, ye humara ant hai. maine apni aankhe surya ke kshitiz me dekhte hue dheere-dheere band ki aur ek hath ISS ki taraf badha kar, apne ant ko swikar kar liya....

Mujhe maloom tha ki ab main apni aankhe band karke agli baar jab kholunga toh... toh saamne meri maa mujhe dikhayi degi aur shayad... Aurora bhi. maine us pal SAFER ke band hote hee is sach ko swikar kar liya tha aur mujhe koyi malaal bhi nahi tha. bas mere kuch sawal mere sath hee is empty space me dafan ho rahe the... mujhe Aurora ka spacewalk ke dauran muskurata hua chehra dikhayi diya aur usse Mars Gateway mission me apne sath chalne ke liye puchhta hua main... uska jawab kya hota...? par ab in sab ka koyi matlab nahi tha.... maine Aurora ka ek hath pakde hue khud ko ISS se door jaata mahsoos kiya... kyunki meri body me badhti hui disturbance mujhe iska aabhas kara rahi thi . par mujhe khushi bhi thi ki agli baar jab main apni aankhe kholunga toh mujhe meri Maa dikhayi degi.. muskurate hue, mera intezaar karte hue, apna hath mujhe pakadne ke liye aage badhate hue... maine khud ko is waqt us baarish me, bheegta hua, us school ke us bench par paya... bas intezaar tha toh sirf meri maa ka... jo waha thodi der baad aur usne mera hath bhi pakda... mujhe iska jab aabhas hua toh maine apni aankhe kholi....

aur jab maine apni apni aankhe kholi toh saamne meri maa nahi balki Nic tha.. wo bhi EMV-X me. Jiske thrusters fully charged the, Without any leakage. Usne mera hath kaskar pakda aur mujhe, Aurora ke sath ISS ki taraf le jaane laga....

Nic ne seedhe medical module ka hatch khola aur hume andar le gaya... Aurora ka helmet crack hone ke kaaran depressurized ho gaya tha... wo behosh thi aur CPR dene ki condition me naa toh main tha aur naa hee Nic + radiation ka bhi khatra tha. isliye Nic ne Aurora ko destiny lab me seal kar diya aur JIN Aurora ko hosh me laaya....



Day-78 ~Aftermath

Ek saptaah beet chukka hai jab humara Radiator-1 explode hua tha aur Radiator-1 ke explode hone ke baad ab Ammonia leakage ki bhi koyi problem nahi hai. Zvezda module Radiator-2 se connect kiya jaa chuka hai. lekin Aurora... wo ab pahle ki tarah nahi hai... uske chehre ka rang har beet-te samay ke sath badal raha hai.... wo ab puri tarah hosh me hai par most of the time... apni aankhe band kiye hue Destiny lab me sealed yaa toh leti rahti hai ya fir ... ya fir... sach me soti rahti hai... main us-se baat kar sakta hoon, use dekh sakta hoon. Par uske paas nahi jaa sakta, Radiation ke dar se use chhu nahi sakta. Aisa upar se order aaya hua hai , mera matlab neeche se. kabhi-kabhi baat karte hue uski jubaan bhi ladkhadane lagti hai. JIN din me do baar Aurora ki report Space Center bhejta hai aur Space Center ki mane toh Aurora ki haalat me koyi sudhar nahi hai aur Radiation ke kaaran din-ba-din uski haalat bigadti jaa rahi hai

Par ye radiation nahi hai, puri tarah nahi... kyunki ye yadi Radiation hota toh Aurora itne din tak zinda nahi rahti. Wo kabhi-kabhi mujhse baat karti hai. par jyada der ke liye nahi... this is fucking disturbing... I’m signing out.



Day-85: ~Yes...?

Ab khali samay milne par main Cupola ki khidkiyo se earth ka nazara nahi dekhta , balki har pal Aurora par nazar rakhe rahta hoon. Uski sharir me yadi ek bhi harkat hoti hai toh main hil jaata hoon. Wo yaha nahi bach payegi... use jald se jald prithavi par wapas bhejna hoga.

Pure do hafte lage us explosion ke baad Space Center ko Soyuz ko ISS ke liye taiyar karne me.... aur aaj Soyuz , Aurora ke liye aa raha tha. Pilot is baar bhi Omar hee tha. Soyuz me ek alag vyavstha ki gayi thi Aurora ko rakhne ke liye, jo ki sealed tha... taaki bakiyo par Radiation ka koyi asar na pade. Aurora ke sath, Nic bhi wapas jaa raha tha, lekin mere liye yahi rukne ka aadesh tha. unhe EMV-X ki further testing ke liye koyi ISS me chahiye tha. itna kharcha jo kiya tha aur EMV-X Mars Spaace Station~ Gateway se related bhi tha aur maine khud ko enroll bhi kiya tha Mars Mission ke liye... isliye main unke liye perfect candidate tha.

jab Aurora ko Soyuz me le jaaya jaa raha tha toh Aurora hosh me nahi thi par ghuti hui aawaz me lagatar kuch bole jaa rahi thi... uski is awaz me kisi ne dhyan nahi diya .. maine khud ne bhi nahi, par fir se jab Aurora ke sharir me harkat hui toh....

“yes...”mujhe sirf itna sunayi diya...

Nic: is she talking to you...?

“yes.. I will spend.... the rest of..... my eternity.... with you.... around the Red Planet.... yes , Aakash... I will....Spend .. the rest o.... iiii Love you... I am sorry”

Kahna toh main bhi bahut kuch chahta tha, par main jo kuch bhi kahta wo Aurora ke kaano tak nahi pahuchta... wo is samay kuch bhi bole jaa rahi thi... isliye main chup hee raha. Soyuz 2:12 AM ko Aurora ko lekar ISS se launch hua aur 5:30 AM ko Soyuz ka main Parachute emerge hua....

“She’s not responding... She’s not responding... She’s no more....”

Jab Soyuz earth par land hua toh ye aawaz mere kaano me padi aur maine turant line disconeect kar diya.....



Day-100 ~The Kiss-2

“Line is Private now, Sir... you can talk to Mr. Aakash....”

“Really...? No one can hear us..? ok.. thanks... hey, Mr. A. it’s Nic... how is the Weather up there....”

“it’s raining flowers today. Why did you call me...?” Maine rukhe mann se kaha... ab main fir se wahi ban chuka tha.. jo main pahle tha.

“because I wanted to...”

“anything else...?”line disconnect karne kke liye maine apna hath aage uthaya

“they released her body and today is her funeral... is there anything you want to say to her... I will say on your behalf...”

.

14 din ho chuke hai, par mere kaano me ab bhi wo shabd gunjte hai, infact is samay bhi gunj rahe hai... jo Aurora ne yaha se jaate waqt mujhse kaha tha. par uske agle hee pal mujhe wo shabd bhi sunayi dete jab Soyuz Earth par land hua tha....

“She’s motionless... I’m seeing dark-blue patches on her face. There is some blood coming out of her nose and ears. She is not responding... I repeat... she’s not responding...”

Hum sab yahi maan rahe the ki Aurora ki jo halat hui wo radiation ke kaaran thi, lekin jab Earth me uska test hua.. mera matlab... uski dead body ka ... toh... pata chala ki use prion protein namak koyi bimari ho gayi thi. Ye bimari genetic hoti hai aur rare me bhi rare type ki bimari thi. Jiske genes Radiator-1 ke explosion ke dauran jab Aurora Radiation ke contact me thodi der ke liye aayi toh activate ho gaye the. Ise detect nahi kiya jaa sakta aur naa hee iska koyi ilaaz hai . Aurora ki maut landing ke dauran dum ghutne se hui... matlab landing ke dauran ek-ek pal.... ghut-ghut ke... jab ek gorilla jitna weight chest par feel hota hai, usne apna dum tod diya.

“something was preventing her from breathing, her hands were on her head . her body was still warm when doctor gave her artificial respiration but she never woke up... Mr. A. Post mortem report also indicates brain haemorrhaging with lesser amount of bleeding...”jab main kuch nahi bola toh Nic dusari taraf se bola.... “you want to say something to her Mr. A , I will say on yourrr....”

“just say... iiii... will wait for her on the Red Planet and she owes me a.. a... cupola kiss...”



Day-121 ~A LONER

“Aakash to Space Center-1... Spacewalk-3... copy...”

“Please proceed......”

Kuch din lage mujhe wapas pahle ki tarah emotionless banne me aur ab jab Aurora hee nahi rahi toh empty space ke liye mera pyaar fir se jaag gaya. Main fir se usi masikta ka shikar tha, jis mansikta ke sath main yaha aaya tha. jo ki prithavi se door football ke ground jitney bade Internation Space Station me akele rahne ke liye jaroori bhi tha.

By the way, I have always loved the empty space more than anything in this cursed life and after Aurora , this is the only thing I want to see, I want to know or I want to feel....

“Day 121... Spacewalk-3... Aakash to Space Center-1... EMV-X Testing... No Pressure leakage.. Thrusters fully loaded and working fine... SAFER is loaded and it seems good too... though I won’t need it this time. Detaching the Tether Rope.... Tether rope detached... I’m on my own... Aakash to Space Center-1 & 2... Spacewalk-3... copy...”

“Please proceed... what is the code Name...”

ISS ki truss se neeche vishal aur kabhi na khatm hone waale andhkkaar me ulta girte hue maine apni aankhe band ki aur bola....

“A..... LONER...”

Sci-fi kahaniyan mujhe kafi jyada pasand hai ... Kya likhe ho bhai, isse padte huye ek slag anubhuti mila mujhe.. naam bhi sahi rakhe ho a longer, aakash ko hamesha akela rahna pasand tha. Iska bajah sayad yeh tha woh jise bhi chahta thaa, chaye uska maa ho ya apura.. space station wala hindi se english translate wala scences kafi funny tha.

 

[_ABHAY_Smarty_]

कहानी- लव ट्राएंगल
रचनाकार- अभय स्मारटी

उनको भी तुमसे मोहब्बत थी मगर वो बता कर क्या करते।

दिल में उनके भी चाहत थी मगर वो बता कर क्या करते।।

जब तुमने उनको बेवफा साबित करके उनकी आंखों में नमी दे दी।

वो खुद रोते और तुम्हे अपना बताते ये हक जता कर क्या करते।।

कबीर एक लड़की से प्यार करता है और उसकी तस्वीर देखकर उसे याद करते हुए रो रहा है। वो लड़की उसके स्कूल समय का प्यार है। वो लड़की उसकी हर समय मदद करती थी। कबीर उसके दूर होने से डरता है इसलिए कभी अपने प्यार का इज़हार नहीं किया।

माँ के कहने पर कबीर ने दूसरी लड़की से शादी के लिए हां कर दी और ये शहर छोड़कर जा रहा है। और पार्क में जिस लड़की की आवाज़ सुनाई पड़ी शायद वो कबीर का 4 वर्ष पहले वाला प्यार हो।

बिल्कुल वो वही थी लेकिन किसी दूसरे लड़के के साथ। उस लड़की के चक्कर में कबीर क्षतिग्रत हो गया और सपना जो उससे इतना प्यार करती है उसे नजरअंदाज कर रहा है।

सपना ने बहुत ही अच्छा और सटीक सवाल किया कबीर से। क्या केवल तुमने ही प्यार किया है और में आंसू भी नहीं बहा सकती।

वैसे कहा जाता है कि शादी उससे मत करो जिससे आप प्यार करते हो बल्कि उससे करो जो आपसे प्यार करता है तो जिंदगी ज्यादा खुशहाल रहेगी।

अब यहां तो त्रिकोणीय प्रेम दिख गया। कबीर गया तो था सपना से मिलने मगर उसे मिल गई रानी। और तो और सपना के सामने ही कबीर को गले लगाया और चुम्मा भी ले लिए। इस कहते हैं आसमान से गिरे और खजूर पर अटके।

कबीर अब दोराहे पर आकर खड़ा हो गया है एक तरफ रानी है तो दूसरी तरफ सपना। उसे समझ नहीं आ रहा है कि वो किधर जाए।

इधर कबीर ने आंख बंद करके रानी को साफ साफ बोल दिया कि वो सिर्फ सपना से प्यार करता है और जब आंख खोलता है तो सामने सपना खड़ी होती है बातों बातों में पता चलता है कि सपना और रानी दोनों पक्के दोस्त हैं और दोनों ने मिलकर ये प्लान बनाया था।

कहानी वाकई बहुत अच्छी है।

Ty so much Mahi ji for a wonderful n lovely review....
Story ke sath sath aap shayri bhi bhut aachi krti hai aaj pata chala...
Rahi kahi kasar aapki hindi ne kar di.. wakai gajab ki pakd hai aapki story par..

 

[Daredevil420]

Sci-fi kahaniyan mujhe kafi jyada pasand hai ... Kya likhe ho bhai, isse padte huye ek slag anubhuti mila mujhe.. naam bhi sahi rakhe ho a longer, aakash ko hamesha akela rahna pasand tha. Iska bajah sayad yeh tha woh jise bhi chahta thaa, chaye uska maa ho ya apura.. space station wala hindi se english translate wala scences kafi funny tha.
A Loner

 

[_ABHAY_Smarty_]

By _ABHAY_Smarty_

Shuruwat Se hi kahani ne mujhe to baandhe rakha ant tak... even beech me pdte pdte mujhe kaam bhi karnaa pdaa ghar ka.... pr meri mjre mobile me hi ghusi thi.... pure 1 ghnte me pd payi hu is kahani ko

Bat kahani ki kare to Yado me khoyaa kabeer apne ik tarfa kiye gaye pyar ko yad kr rha hai... jo ki ant me pata chlaa... start me to lgaa pdkar Rani ne galat kiya... use kabeer ko ese chhodkar nahi jana chahiye tha...

Kher Kabeer yadon me hmesha khoya rahta hai... 4 saal aur mahine gujar gaye... kabeer naye shahar me shift hua... wanha use pahli bar mahsus hua jaise uska Pyar uske kareeb hai...

agle din fir se park jane pr use Rani kisi aur ki baho me dikhti hai... jise dekh kar kabeer dukhi ho jata hai aur ant me yado me khoye hone ke kaaran uska accident bhi ho jata hai...

is beech Sapna Jo uski mangetar hai... uska khyal rkhti hai... Dheere dheere Kabeer ko sapna ke pyar ka ehsas hone lgta hai... aur fir wo bhi use pyar krne lgta hai...

Spna aur Rani milkar Kabeer ka ek Test leti hain jo ki ant me ptaa lgta hai... Usme Kabeer pass ho jata hai... aur fir sch bhi janta hai Kabeer jo ki ye Sapna aur Rani dono school se frnds hain wanha se hi sapna kabeer ko pyar karti aayi hai...


After all Ek master class Story hai _ABHAY_Smarty_ Sir...
Ek Swal wese iska kahani me jyada koi mtlb to nhi fir bhi wo kaun tha jiske Sath Rani thi...

​

Ty Ty soo much swati ji... You really made my day.. mai agr likhta hoon toh meri poori koshish hoti h.. jab bhi koi padhe toh sab kuch bhool bas story ko dhyaan.. rakhe...
Aapne yeh kehkar mera din hi bana diya...
Or Rahi baat ladke waale character ki toh woh rani ka bF tha... Jo ki sabd badh rahe toh last me jaldi jsldi karan scene kast diya...
And one last thing... Mai sir disserve nahi krta... Kyunki syd mai second youngest writer honga jo abhi bhi sheekh raha h..

Baaki aapka bhut bhut aabhaar...

 

[_ABHAY_Smarty_]

By _ABHAY_Smarty_
Lockdown ke kaaran sabkaa yahi haal thaa....
Wese Jyada tar isme Madhyam aur nimn vargiy pariwaro ko hi dikkato ka samna karna pada...
Daily ka rojgar pane wale logo ka to sabse buraa haal tha...

Kahani Me bachat ki value ka sajeev udaharan diya... jo sabke samne hai...
Thought full story...
​

Chaliye kisi ne toh meri second story padhi bhut khusi hui aapko pasand aayi...
Thanks a lot..

 

[Ankitarani]

THE REVENGE (BADLA)
GENRE : ROBBERY, THRILLER
WRITER : MANIK MITTAL

Spoiler

Aaj fir sheenu ekdam murjhai si ghar wapis lauti to uski maa kusum ne pehle to socha ke use tang na hi kare to behtar hai kyunki use uski halat dekh ke pata chal gaya tha ke aaj fir wo khali hath lauti hai.

Pichhle 7 mahine se wo na jaane kitne interviews de chuki thi par kahin par bhi uska kaam nahi ban pa raha tha. Is desh mein jab tak koi kisi ki sifarish nahi karta tab tak naukari pana lagbhag asambhav hi hai yeh baat sheenu ab tak samajh chuki thi.

Par use to lagta tha ke uska poori dunia mein ek mama ke siwaye koi bhi nahi hai. Wo mama bhi kaun sa kisi ginti mein aata hai. Kabhi kabhar saal do saal mein ek baar yeh log uske yahan jaa aate aur kabhi wo inke yahan aa jaata. Aur kabhi bhi sheenu aur uski maa mama ke yahan raat nahi ruke the.

Insaan wahan thehrata hai jahan uski kadr ho, mami ki rukhi baten sunkar 2-3 ghante hi rukna mushkil ho jata tha par fir bhi yeh log sham tak to ruk hi jaate mama ki wajah se. Kehte hain ke garib ka koi rishtedar bhi ho to wo bhi apna batane se gurej karta hai aur amir se door ki rishtedari bhi ho to kehte hain ke yeh to apne hi hain. Khair yeh dunia ka dastur hai koi isme kuchh kar bhi kya sakta hai.

Kusum apni beti ko dilasa dete hue use samjhati hai ke uske tallent aur qualification ki wajah se use ek din job jarur milegi. Par kusum ki yeh sakaratmak baten sheenu ka hausla nahi badha saki to kusum use bolti hai ke baju wale verma ji ne XXX Bank mein job batai hai to sheenu kehti hai ke wo jayegi jarur par isse bhi koi fayda nahi hone wala. Par kusum use kehti hai ke use koshish jarur karni chahiye.

Sheenu yani Sheenam Aggrawal apni maa Kusum Aggrawal ke saath rehti hai. Sheenu 24 saal ki ek behad khubsurat aur padhi likhi ladki hai, jo in dino naukari na milne ki wajah se behad preshan hai. Aisa nahi hai ke wo koshish nahi karti. Par har baar use kisi na kisi wajah se rejection jhelni padti hai.

Jab usne marketting mein mba pass kiya tha aur top kiya to use laga ke use to bahut hi asani se job mil jayegi, par jab uska samna asli dunia se hua tab use pata chala ke is dunia mein kuchh bhi utna asaan nahi hai, naukari pana to bilkul bhi nahi, chahe aap kitne bhi intelligent ho aur kitni bhi achhi aapki qualification kyun na ho.

Jahan kahin bhi sheenu naukari mangne jaati usse kisi ki gavahi ke baare mein puchha jata to uska kaam wahin par atak jaata kyunki inke liye bhala kaun gavahi deta. Kahin kuchh baat ban jaati to is shart par ke samne wala usse uske khubsurat sharir ki gavahi mangne lagta. Jiske liye wo kabhi bhi taiyar nahi thi, kyunki agar usne yahi kaam karna hota to wo itna padhti likhti kyun.

Sheenu ne kayi baar apni maa se puchha ke kya mama ke ilawa inka koi rishtedar nahi. Uska baap kahan hai. Is baat ka kusum kabhi koi jawab na de pati aur taal deti ke samay aane par wo use uske pita ke baare mein jarur batayegi.

Aur wo samay kabhi nahi aya. Kusum har baar uske is sawal ko talti rahi. Kayi baar to sheenu ko is baat pe gussa bhi aa jata par wo apni maa se kuchh na keh paati kyunki use pata tha ke wo pehle se dukhi hai wo use aur dukhi nahi karna chahti thi. To wo apni maa par jyada dabav na de paati.

Aaj XXX Bank mein sheenu ka interview tha. Verma ji ne use Mr. Vivek Thakur se milne ko bola tha jo ke marketing head the. Sheenu ne apne naam ki slip unke peon ko pakdai aur khud waiting mein baith gayi. Koi 5 minute baad peon ne use aake bola ke sahab bula rahe hain.

Wo gate par khadi hoke puchhti hai.

Sheenu...May I come in, Sir(Kya main ander aa sakti hun sir)….uski awaz sunkar vivek thakur jo ke computer par busy tha apna sar utha ke gate ki taraf dekhta hai, aur jab dekhta hai ke sheenu gate par khadi hai to bolta hai.

vivek...Come in please. (ander aa jaiye)....sheenu ander jakar ek or khadi ho jaati hai to vivek use baithne ko bolta hai to sheenu uske samne padi ek chair par baith jaati hai. Fir vivek use sawal puchhna shuru karta hai.

Vivek… aapka naam aur qualification.

Sheenu...Sir, mera naam Sheenam Aggarwal hai aur maine MBA in marketing kiya hai. Yeh rahe mere documents...sheenu apni file vivek ke aage kar deti hai jise vivek pakad ke dekhne lagta hai...is file mein uske 10th, 12th bcom aur mba ke detail marks the aur saath hi uske id proofs bhi the.

Vivek uske educational documents dekhe ja raha tha aur saath hi saath, very good, nice bole ja raha tha. Fir uske documents dekhne ke baad bolta hai.

Vivek...aapne apna koi experience mention nahi kiya apne resume mein.

Sheenu...sir, mujhe abhi tak kahin bhi job karne ka saubhagya nahi mil paya.

Vivek...kyun? Itni achhi qualification ke saath aapki communication skill bhi achhi hai, mujhe to lagta hai aapko job mil jaani chahiye thi….

Vivek ki baten sunkar sheenu soch rahi thi ke wo hanse ya naraz ho kya bataye wo ke kyun nahi mili job abhi tak. Par usne socha ke use apne man ki bhadas nikal hi deni chahiye kyunki yeh banda bhi jyada se jyada na hi to kar sakta hai to usne bolna shuru kiya.

Sheenu...dhime se swar mein...itna asaan nahi hai sir ek ladki ka job pana is dunia mein, wo ladki jiske paas koi reference na ho aur jise har koi ek tallented person ki jagah gosht ka dher samajhe aur har koi us gosht ko nochne ke liye lalaiyat ho to us ladki ke liye job pana bahut mushkil hai sir.

Vivek...main samajh sakta hun aapki baat, par yahan par aisa kuchh bhi nahi hai main aapko ek mauka dena chahta hun, isliye nahi ke aap khubsurat aur jawan ho balke isliye ke mujhe lagta hai ke aapme tallent hai aur main us tallent ka istemal apne bank ke liye karna chahta hun. You are appointed Miss Sheenam Aggrawal.

Sheenu ko kaise vishvas hi nahi ho raha tha, kahan to use ekdam uchhal padna chahiye tha kahan uski ankhon mein aansu aa gaye. Vivek ne uth kar use tissue paper diya ankhen saaf karne ke liye aur uske kandhe par hath rakha. Sheenu samajh sakti thi ke uske sparsh mein koi kaam vaasna nahi balke hamdardi thi.

Ghar aakar bhi sheenu kitni der roti rahi. Kusum use dilasa deti rahi ke pagli ab to khush ho ja tujhe kaam jo mil gaya hai. Tab jakar sheenu ko vishvas ho paya ke use sach mein kaam mil gaya hai.

Agle din sheenu ne subah vivek ko report kiya to usne use bataya ke use insurance sales executive appoint kiya gaya hai. Starting mein use minimum wages hi milengi, par use har insurance par 20% commission bhi milega. Par uske liye har mahine ka target bhi fix kiya gaya, 5 cases minimum.

Sheenu ki to jaise banchhen hi khil gayi. Usne socha yeh to bahut easy kaam hai. 5 case to aise hi ho jayenge, balke use ek list bhi di gayi jin logon ko calling karni thi yeh karib 2000 logon ki list thi jinme use is mahine ke 5 client dhundhne the. Usne socha yeh bhi koi mushkil kaam hai. Yeh to ek din mein hi ho jayega. Uski ek din ki training ke baad agle din se use kaam shuru karna tha.

Usne bhagwan ka naam lekar sabse pehle client ko phone kiya, yeh ek aadmi ki awaz thi. Ladki ki awaz sunkar usne ek do minute tak baat kar li par usne uske baad turant phone kat diya ke meri to insurance ho rakhi hai. Aise hi usne na jane kitne phone kiye, koi businessman koi dukandar koi private job wala, har kisi ne ek hi baat kahi ke uska insurance ho rakha hai. Aise hi 3 din tak chalta raha. Wo ek tarah se nirash ho chuki thi.

Vivek use bakayda notice karta rehta tha. Use samajh aa gayi thi ke use abhi tak ek bhi client nahi mila to wo uske cabin mein gaya aur use nirash na hone ke liye bola. By chance uske jaane ke adhe ghante ke baad hi ek aadmi Rajesh Chauhan ne usko milne ka time de diya. Sheenu fir se ashanvit ho gayi.

Jab wo rajesh chahuan ko mili to dekha ke wo 45 saal ka ek businessman hai. Uske chehre ki muskan hi bata rahi thi ke uski niyat achhi nahi hai. Is thode se time mein hi sheenu ko duniadari ki achhi samajh ho gayi thi. Sheenu ne jab insurance ke baare mein samjhana chaha to wo apni shano saukat ka bakhan karne laga aur dosti jaisi baten karne laga to sheenu bahana bana kar wahan se nikal gayi.

Halanki wo use jaleel karna chahti thi par training ke dauran use samjhaya gaya tha ke use kaise kaise clients se milna pad sakta hai aur client jaisa bhi ho usse jhagadna nahi, agar mahaul sahi na lage to wahan se nikal lo. Cabin mein baith kar ek baar to sheenu royi. Vivek ne fir se notice kiya aur uske paas gaya.

Uske paas jakar usne samjhaya ke use in baton ko mind nahi karna chahiye. Yeh sab to chalta rahega use apni life masti se jeeni chahiye aur poore tan man se apne kaam ki or dhyan dena hoga tabhi wo kuchh kar sakti hai. Uske baad sheenu ko 2-3 aur aise clients mile jinhe insurance ke saath saath uska jism bhi chahiye tha. Par usne un logon ko ignore kiya aur fir ek din aisa aya jab use ek hi din mein do insurance mil gaye. Wo bahut khush hui.

Par uske baad use poore mahine mein koi client nahi mila. Jiski wajah se uska 2 clients wala incentive bhi nahi mila aur use upar se warning alag se mil gayi. Sheenu ne rote rote yeh baat apni maa ko batayi usse puchha ke usne aaj tak uske baap ke baare mein bataya kyun nahi. To kusum ko laga ke ab use uske baap ke baare mein batana hi padega. Kusum batana shuru karti hai.

Uske maa baap ne uski shadi apni haisaiyat se unche pariwar mein ek businessman ke iklaute bete Deepak Aggrawal se kar di, jinka ceramic products ka manufacturing aur export ka business tha.Itne bade ghar mein shadi karne ke liye dahej ka intzam karne ke liye apna sab kuchh bech diya ke unki ladki sukhi rahe. Is wajah se uski bhabhi hamesha naraz rehti thi ke unka jyadatar paisa kusum ki shadi mein lag gaya hai.

Unhone halanki itna kuchh diya par jo log dahej ke liye shadi karte hain wo ladki ko sukhi kahan rakhte hain. Ladke ke maa baap to jald hi ek accident mein maare gaye. Unke marne ke baad wo ek khula saand ban gaya aur aiyashi mein pad gaya. Kusum ne use samjhane ki bahut koshish ki par wo kahan maanta tha. Wo to use garib bolke uska aur uske pariwar ka hamesha mazak udata.

Ab to had ho gayi thi wo ladkiyon ko ghar bhi laane laga tha. Khuddar Kusum se yeh bardasht na hua to usne use talak ki dhamki de daali. Kusum ki baat sunkar wo thahaka maar kar hansne laga aur use bola ke wo jab marji ghar chhod ke ja sakti hai. Ab wo akeli kahan thi uski ek chhoti si bachi sheenu bhi thi jiske liye deepak ke man mein kabhi pyar hi nahi raha.

Khair ek din khuddar kusum ne apne pati ki harkaton ki wajah se apna ghar chhod hi diya, kyunki uski kadr us ghar mein naukron se bhi badtar thi. Uske baad kusum ko kitni preshaniyan jhelni padi yeh bayan karna bhi mushkil hai.

Na jaane kaise kaise jatan karke kusum ne sheenu ko pala tha. Kusum ne bhi shuruat mein naukari paane ki kafi koshish ki par jab aaj sheenu ko naukari nahi mil rahi to us jamane mein bhala kuskum ko kaise naukari mil jaati. To usne tuition karke aur bhi thode bahut chhote mote kaam karke apni grihasthi ko kisi tarah thela. Bahut jyada wo kama nahi saki par itna kama leti jisse uska aur uski beti ka pet bhar jata aur uski achhe se padhai likhai ho jaati.

Sheenu apni maa ki dastan sunti ja rahi thi aur usko apne baap par itna gussa aa raha tha ke wo uske samne hota to shayad wo uska katl hi kar deti kyunki wahi insaan in dono maa beti ki is halat ka jimmedar tha. Usne man hi man kuchh nirnay liya. Kusum ko uski ankhon mein angare nazar aaye to usne use shant rehne ko bola. Par sheenu ab kuchh nirnay le chuki thi.

Agle din sheenu bank nahi gayi. Uska man bahut preshan tha. Usne na hi vivek ko iski koi soochna di yahan tak ke jab uska phone aaya to usne uska phone bhi nahi uthaya. Halanki wo ek normal employee hi thi par pata nahi kyun vivek sham ko uske ghar par use dekhne aya. Usne use dilasa diya ke pehle mahine sabka kaam aisa hi rehta hai, vivek ne use vishwas dilaya ke wo uska kata hua incentive bhi use dilwa dega. Usne use agle din se ek naye josh ke saath kaam par aane ko bola.

Vivek ki in baton ka sheenu par bahut asar hua aur usne agle din se naye josh ke saath kaam karna shuru kar diya aur pehle hi hafte usne 3 clients ka beema kar diya. Wo ab bahut khush thi par uske ander jo aag jal rahi thi wo use hi pata tha. Is aag ko vivek kabhi kabhi mehsus bhi karta. Wo uska man behlane ke liye use kitni hi baar office ke baad restaurant leke gaya.

Ab sheenu ki maa ke baad vivek hi wo shakhs tha jo uski itni care karta tha to uski or attract hona normal hi tha. Wo vivek ko man hi man pyar karne lagi thi. Vivek to pehle se use pasand karta tha par wo pehal isliye nahi karna chahta tha ke kahin sheenu yeh na soche ke yeh banda bhi uski khubsurti ka najayaz fayda uthana chahta hai.

Dono ka pyar khub parwan chadha. Ab to idhar kusum udhar vivek ke maa baap sabko pata chal gaya tha ke yeh dono apas mein pyar karne lage hain. Dono hi pariwaron ko inke rishte se koi problem nahi thi aur unhone apni shadi ki date fix karne ka faisla in dono par apni sahuliyat ke hisab se chhod diya tha.

Ab sheenu ki zindagi behtar ho gayi thi aur uske dukh bhare din shayad kahin furr ho gaye the par apne pita wali baat uske man mein ek tees bankar hamesha chubhti rehti thi. Usne man hi man tay kar liya tha ke jis insaan ne uski maa ko uski chhoti si beti ke saath ghar chhodne ko majbur kiya wo us kamine baap ko kabhi nahi chhodegi, wo usse badla jarur lekar rahegi.

Ek din jab vivek ne shadi ke liye bola to usne use taal diya. Kayi baar bolne par bhi jab sheenu ka yahi jawab raha to vivek ne ek din usse puchh hi liya ke akhir baat kya hai to sheenu ne bhi socha ke vivek ko to apne man ki baat batani hi padegi kyunki wo uska hone wala jeevan saathi jo hai. To usne use poori baat bata di.

Vivek ne use bahut samjhaya ke use badle ki aag mein nahi jalna chahiye par sheenu uski baat sunkar naraz ho gayi to vivek use bhala kya bolta. Doosri baat wo itna bada aadmi tha. Shahr ka sabse bada exporter, usse bhala ek mamuli ladki kaise badla le sakti thi. Vivek ne sheenu se is baare mein discuss kiya to usne use kaha ke us is baare mein uski madad ki jarurat padegi.

Vivek use beinteha pyar karne laga tha to usne kaha ke wo uski madad ke liye taiyar hai. Fir usne sheenu se puchha ke yeh sab hoga kaise,iske liye poora plot taiyar karna padega to sheenu ne kaha ke usne kuchh soch rakha hai jo usne vivek ko bataya to vivek ne kaha ke use yeh kuchh kuchh thik laga. Par wo uske plan mein kuchh badlav karna chahta tha jise sheenu ne maan liya.

Sheenu ki ek bachpan ki saheli thi ruchi. Jisko usne usi din apne baap ke baare mein bata diya tha jis din uski maa ne use bataya tha. Un dono ki dosti itni pakki thi ke usne use apne saath apne plan par kaam karne ke liye mana liya tha.

Vivek ne sheenu se planing ke liye 2-3 mahine ka time manga is sab mein kyunki kafi kuchh hona tha. Kitni hi chijon ka arrangement karna tha jo is plan ke wakt kaam aani thi. Fir usne sheenu aur ruchi ko training bhi deni thi. Khud apni bhi taiyari karni thi.

Khud ki taiyari is tarah se ke use pehle ceramics mein kaun kaun se products sabse mehge wale hain unki list banani thi. Ceramics ki poori jaankari leni thi ke yeh kis kis chij se banta hai aur kitne din mein yeh ban kar taiyar hota hai. Fir uski market kahan kahan hai, kaun kaun se india ke chuninda bade dealers hain sab kuchh pata lagana tha vivek ko.

In logon ne vivek ki madad se sabse pehle singapore mein ek fake company banayi, uski ek website banayi jis par uska fake data daala gaya. Us company ko aise project kiya gaya jaise ke wo ceramic products mein world ki chuninda companies mein se ek hai.

Ruchi ne apna get up bhi badal diya tha. Usne apna naam bhi badalkar Anna rakh liya tha. Wo rang se to pehle se gori thi to wo jab bharitiya mool ki Singapore ki citizen bankar manager se milna tha.

Plan ke mutabik ruchi uske baap ke paas ek agent bankar gayi jisne use bola ke singapore ki ek bahut badi “Fine Ceramics” ko 50 crore ki ek consignment chahiye. Unhone apne products ki list bhi di jo unhe chahiye the. Waise unhone jyadatar products wahi chune jo already deepak ki company mein ban rahe the.

100 crore ki turnover wali company ke liye 50 crore ka order kya mayne rakhta hai yeh aap log behtar samajhte honge par saath hi saath itne bade order ke liye unhe ekdam se kaafi funds ka bhi arrangement karna tha. Kyunki unka jydatar paisa to business circulations mein laga hua tha.

Ruchi ne deepak ke manager ko is baat ke liye convince kar liya ke koi bhi badi company kabhi advance nahi deti to FINE CERAMICS bhi advance nahi degi aur itna hi nahi usne is deal ke badle manager se 5 lakh apni commission ke taur par mange, jise manager ne saharsh sweekar kar liya.

Ruchi ki manager ke saath 4-5 meetings mein ruchi ne use bharosa dila diya tha ke Fine Ceramics jaisi company dunia mein koi nahi hai aur agar unki company Aggarwal Ceramics ki ek baar is company se deal ho gayi to fir unki company ki turnover 10 guna tak badh sakti hai.

Manager ne is deal ke baare mein deepak se discuss kiya, uska business mein dhyan tha hi kahan use to apni aiyashiyon se hi fursat nahi thi to usne manager se kaha ke jaisa use thik lagta hai waisa kar le aur order ke liye market se jitna finance uthana chaho utha sakte ho. Manager ko bhi laga ke yeh fayde ka sauda hai aur usne tay kar liya ke is deal ke liye wo 40 crore rupya market se uthayega.

Bhala Aggrawal Ceramics jaisi company ko koi finance na kare aisa kahin ho sakta tha, manager ne bade bade 4-5 financers se funds le liye. Badle mein unko P.D.C. (aise cheque jo bhavishya ki tarikh daal kar diye jaate hain, isme mool rakam ke saath saath vyaj bhi jod kar kaata jata hai) dene pade

Aaj deal sign hone ka din tha. Deal wale sabhi documents vivek ki madad se taiyar hue. Sab kuchh ekdam asli lag raha tha. Koi bhi shak nahi kar sakta tha. Jab deal sign honi thi to vivek bhi anna (ruchi) ke saath tha kyunki us din anna kafi dari hui thi to vivek ne socha ke ain wakt par kahin koi gadbad na ho jaye to usne bhi uske saath rehna thik samjha. Wo uska P.A. ban kar gaya.

Vivek ne bhi apna bhes badal liya tha. Usne nakli dadhi laga rakhi thi. Waise vivek clean shave tha. Par usne apne naye get up mein apni dadhi ko french cut bana liya jisse koi bhi use pehchan na sake. Waise un logon ke office mein use pehchanne wala tha bhi kaun par wo bank mein ek unche pad par tha to yeh chance tha ke koi employee kabhi usse mil chuka ho to wo log koi bhi chuk nahi karna chahte the.

Anna ne “Fine Ceramics” ke representative ke taur par deal par sign kiye aur udhar “Aggrawal Ceramics” ki or se Manager ne sign kiye. Anna ko 1 lakh ka cheque advance ke taur par diya gaya. To is tarah se is deal ka ek padav to bina kisi shak shubah ke paar ho gaya. Ab masla tha delivery uthane ka.

In logon ko na sirf maal uthana tha balke saste daam par whole salers ko bechna bhi tha. Iske liye inhone pehle se kaafi taiyari kar rakhi thi. Desh bhar ke ceramic sellers ki detail in logon ne net se nikal li thi aur unke saath deals bhi kar li thi. Deal kuchh aisi thi ke in logon ne unhe 40% tak discount offer kar diya tha is shart par ke material ki payment delivery hote hi de di jaye, kyunki advance to koi bhi dene ko taiyar nahi tha.

Material ko sale karne ke liye in logon ne ek aur company bana li thi. Jisko inhone internet par ek seller platform par register kar diya tha aur yeh offer in logon ne usi platform par daali thi aur is offer ka itna fayda hua ke dheron enquiries aayin jinhe khud sheenu deal kar rahi thi. Iske liye inhone ek vip number liya hua tha taki yeh lage ke company bilkul asli hai.

Ab sale wala masla to takriban hal ho gaya tha. Baat thi purchase ki. Deal to ho gayi. Wo bhi nakli L.C. (L.C. ek tarah ki bank guarantee hoti hai jisme bank ki guarantee par udhar maal mil jaata hai) ke against. Maal kul 15 din mein uthna tha aur deal ke mutabik uski payment dene ki shuruat 1 mahine baad honi thi.

Ek baar to Deepak Aggrawal yani ke sheenu ke baap ke dimag mein aya ke kahin koi fraud na ho. Par internet “Fine Ceramics” ko 15 saal purani company bata raha tha aur iski customer list bhi badi lambi dikhai hui thi, jisme unke contact number bhi diye hue the. Halanki deepak aggarwal ke kehne par un numbers mein se do char numbers par call bhi arrange ki gayi. Par unme se jo bhi number wo log lagate wo number sidha jake sheenu ke phone par lagta.

Wo har baar alag style mein baat karti jaisa ke vivek ne use training ke dauran bataya tha. Jab un logon ki tasalli ho gayi to unhone bade paimane par maal taiyar karna shuru kar diya kyunki yeh consignment unhe har haal 15 din mein poori karni thi. Warna deal ke mutabik unhe har roz Singapore $ 10,000/- ka jurmana padna tha.

Kyunki demand jyada thi to in logon ko raw material bhi mehge damo par mila. Par inki deal India wale price se dedh guna daam pe hui thi to mehga raw material inke liye koi chinta ka vishay nahi tha.

15 din mein lagatar inhe material uthana tha. Jisme se lagbhag 8-10 din ka material to pehle se bana hua pada tha. In logon ne local dealers ka maal rok ke pehle Fine Ceramics ka order bhugtane ki sochi aur jo jo items ka in logon ne order diya tha usko manufacture karna shuru kar diya.

Aaj pehli consignment ready thi dispatch ke liye. Maal uthwane ke liye khud vivek aage aya. Waise in logon ne 4-5 ladke bhi job par rakh liye the kyunki kitne hi kaam hote hain, paper work, trucks ka intzam karna, labour ka intzam aur bhi na jaane kya kya kaam hote hain. To yeh log to itna kuchh kar nahi sakte the. Iske liye inhe manpower ki jarurat to thi hi.

Sabse pehli waali consignment sabse najdik bechi gayi thi jo is city se kul 80 kilometer door city mein jaani thi. Yeh kul 3 crore ki thi. Jisme 50-50 lakh ki value ki items ke kul 6 truck the. Kyunki yeh pehli consignment thi to in logon ka dil dhak dhak kar raha tha. Udhar se maal uthate wakt aur jab maal ekdam araam se uth gaya to uske baad maal pahuchane tak.

Maal bhi thik tarah se pahuch gaya tha ab masla tha payment ka kyunki maal to der raat ko pahucha tha. Chalo truck khali ho gaye the. Un logon ne agle din payment ka bola. Ek ladka trucks ke saath bheja gaya tha jisko khas hidayat di gayi thi ke jab bhi payment ho jaye uske baad hi aana hai.

Agle din subah 10 baje hi wo ladka unke office pahuch gaya aur unke manager se mila aur payment ke liye bola. Manager ne use 12 baje tak rukne ko bola. Ladke ne yeh baat vivek ko batai. Jab tak 12 nahi baje vivek ke hosh hi ude rahe. Par 12 bajte hi uske phone ne beep kiya aur usne dekha to uske phone par RTGS ka msg aya tha aur unki firm ka 3 crore ka balance ban chuka tha.

Jab wo msg aya to teeno khushi se jhum uthe. Sheenu to jaise pagal hi ho gayi ho. Wo jaar jaar rone lagi. Vivek ne use apni bahon mein bhara aur pyar se use chup karate hue kaha ke ab uske dukh bhare din beetne wale hain aur saath hi saath uska badla bhi poora hone wala hai.

Agle din ka maal bhi uski party ke yahan jaana tha aur fir se usse agle din poori payement inke khate mein thi. Koi party delhi se thi koi lucknow se, koi chandigarh se to koi mumbai se. Desh ka koi kona in logon ne nahi chhoda aur kismat inki itni achhi ke un logon se deal ke mutabik unhone material ki delivery hote hi payment bhijwa di.

Yeh log to pagal hue ja rahe the. Takriban 35 crore rupya in logon ke paas jama ho gaya tha. Jis ladki ne kabhi 35 hazar ikatha nahi dekha tha wo aaj 35 crore ki malkin thi. Uska jiska 50 crore in logon ne loota tha use to abhi tak abhaas bhi nahi hua tha ke uske saath thagi ho gayi hai.

Jab 15 din mein deal poori ho gayi to uske baad in logon ko aur 15 din ki wait karni thi pehli payment ke liye aur ab in logon ne local parties ka maal bhi to taiyar karna tha. Waise yeh log is baat se hairan the ke 15 din ka gap ho gaya hai aur inki parties ne inse maal ke liye takaja kyun nahi kiya. In logon ne apne main dealers ko phone karna shuru kiya ke hafte 10 din mein unka maal dispatch ho jayega to samne se har koi yahi bolta ke koi jaldi nahi hai aap log chaho to ek mahine baad bhej dena.

Waise to in logon ko khushi hi honi chahiye thi ke maal agar 1 mahine mein bheja ja sakta hai to itne mein singapore wali payment bhi aa jayegi aur jin logon se 40 crore udhar pakda hai wo udhar bhi chukta ho jayega par ulta in logon ko hairani hui ke wo log ek mahine tak kaam kaise chalayenge.

Ek do jagah phone karne par pata chala ke koi K.A. Ceramics waale hain jin logon ne inhe kafi saste mein material sale kiya hai. Jisse in logon ka ek mahine ka quota poora ho chuka hai. Manager thoda preshan ho gaya ke jab export shuru hua to local market mein ek nayi company aa gayi aur uski price list dekh ke to wo hairan hi reh gaya ke itne kam daam mein koi maal kaise bhej sakta hai.

Hairani to use bahut hui par wo uski teh tak nahi pahuch saka ke yeh wahi log ho sakte hain. Kyunki usko un logon par shak hi nahi tha aur uski ek wajah yeh thi ke anna yani ruchi abhi tak in logon se phone par sampark mein thi aur unhe har roz vishvas dilati thi ke falan din se unki payment aani shuru ho jayegi.

Par jald hi yeh routine bhi toot gaya kyunki ek din uska phone band ho gaya. Jab manager ne try kiya to phone switch off nahi balke yeh bol raha tha ke number ki jaanch kar li jaaye. Janch karwane par pata chala ke yeh number permanently band ho chuka hai. Manager ke to hosh hi ud gaye.

Usne socha ke “Fine Ceramics” Company ki website par jakar check kar liya jaye kyunki wahan par to koi na koi number milna hi tha to us naam ki net par koi site hi nahi mili. Ab use vishvas ho gaya tha ke un logon ke saath bahut bada fraud ho gaya hai. Usne yeh baat apne seth yani deepak aggarwal ko batayi.

Yeh baat sunte hi deepak aggarwal behosh ho gaya. Naukron ne use utha kar hospital pahuchaya. Ab sab or yeh khabar poore shahr mein fail gayi thi ke seth deepak aggrawal ke saath 50 crore ka fraud ho gaya hai. Fraud kin logon ne kiya iska pata hi nahi chal paya. Samne to yeh aya tha ke is fraud mein do log shamil the par unhe nahi pata tha ke isme kul teen log shamil the.

Baki rahi baat jo 5 ladke in logon ne naukari par rakhe the. Un logon ko itni salary de di thi ke wo log 6 mahine aram se baith kar kha saken aur jab last cosignment gayi to uske baad in logon ne un ladkon se koi sampark nahi kiya. Waise unhe jarurat bhi kya thi sampark karne ki.

Police mein report hui, par un do logon ka koi pata na chal saka, halanki un 5 ladkon mein se 2 se sampark ho bhi gaya tha par unhone bataya ke na to naukari par lagne se pehle wo log unko jante the aur na hi wo log uske baad kabhi unse mil paye. Police ne koshish to bahut ki. CCTV camera ki madad li par kuchh bhi hath na lag saka to police ne yeh case lagbhag band hi kar diya.

Company diwalia ho chuki thi. Deepak aggarwal sadak par aa gaya tha. Uski kothi tak bik chuki thi. Kehte hain ke financer log kisi ko paisa dena jaante hain to wasulna bhi jaante hain. Aur is maamle mein wo kisi ki lihaj nahi karte chahe samne kitna bhi bada aur izzatdaar aadmi hi kyun na ho.

Udhar sheenu vivek aur ruchi teeno ne plan banaya tha ke jab tak sab kuchh normal nahi ho jaata tab tak teeno apna sab kuchh routine ke hisab se hi karte rahenge. Sheenu aur vivek bank aur ruchi apne kaam par jaati rahi. In logon ne abhi tak kusum ko is fraud ke baare mein kuchh nahi bataya tha aur na hi wo log use batana chahte the kyunki wo bahut usolon wali aurat thi. Par aajkal sheenu ke kharch dekh ke use lag to raha tha ke kuchh to hua hai uski life mein.

Sheenu aur Vivek ki shadi ho gayi thi. Shadi badi hi dhoomdham aur shano shaukat se hui. Kusum dekh ke hairan ho rahi thi ke akhir in logon ke paas aisi mehgi shadi karne ke liye paisa kahan se aaya. Kyunki vivek bhi ek madhyam vargiya pariwar se hi talluk rakhta tha. Par wo bachon ki khushi ki wajah se kuchh bol na paayi. Vivek ke kehne aur sheenu ke zid karne par kusum ne un logon ke saath hi rehne ka faisla le liya tha.

Fir lagbhag teen mahine baad in logon ne us company jiska naam K.A. Ceramics rakha gaya tha usme ceramic products ki production start ki. Teeno ne apni apni job se istifa de diya tha aur teeno ne hi partnership mein is company K.A. Ceramics (K.A. yani Kusum Aggarwal) ko start kiya.

In logon ki pehchan to pehle hi ban chuki thi saste damon par maal bechne ki wajah se par ab in logon ke liye challenge tha kyunki free ka maal saste mein bechna to asaan hai par khud ka maal bana kar use us daam par to nahi becha ja sakta tha haan profit jarur kam rakha ja sakta tha.

Un logon ne aisa hi kiya, shuruat mein profit bahut hi kam rakha. Is tarah se inka business aisa chal nikla ke Aggarwal Ceramics ka bhi nahi raha hoga.

Sheenu, Vivek aur Ruchi, teenu company ke directors the aur M.D. in logon ne banaya Kusum ko yani ke sheenu ki maa ko. Aaj wo din tha jab M.D. yani ke Kusum Aggarwal ne apni seat sambhalni thi. Wo aaj tak kabhi factory mein dakhil nahi hui thi.

Aaj jab wo factory mein pahuchi to door use apni or niharta ek bhikhari type insaan dikha, wo apni umar se kuchh jyada hi lag raha tha. Kuskum ko pehchante der na lagi ke yeh uska pati Deepak Aggarwal hi hai. Par wo use ignore karke ander chali gayi.

Ander jab use uska cabin dikhaya gaya to uski shano shaukar dekh ke uski ankhen hi chaundhiya gayin. Usne pehle apne office ko bade gaur se dekha aur baithne se pehle usne un teeno ko baithne ka ishara kiya, jo ke uske saamne baith gaye.

Baithte wakt Kusum ne sheenu ki ankhon mein dekhte hue bola, “ YEH SAB TOONE APNE BAAP KO BARBAD KARKE BANAYA HAI NA?”

Sheenu ne kuchh nahi bola bas muskura ke muh par kar liya.

===OOO===

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Manikmittal ji...story mene pdhi....bdle ki ek achhi dastan hai....
Lekin bahut kuch mujhe smjh me nhi aaya...maal uthaya...wo uthaya yha becha...ye chaque....wo esa wesa..mtlb mene M.B.A ya M.COM nhi kiya na...islie thoda bahut smjh nhi aaya....
Ek sidhi sadhi lski...kitni khtrnak bn gyi ki ek crodpati ko kisi ka pati bnne layk nhi chhoda...
Jaha ek ldki job 15hjae ki job ke lie tarasti thi...uske master plan ne unhe crorepti bna daala...achha hai...
Kbhi kisi ko km nhi smjhna chahiye....
Koi kya kr de...kuch pta nhi chlta...

Sheenu ki maa ke ek struggling life dikhai shuri me...kaise mushkil ss usne apne beti ko pala...fir sheenu ka struggle dikhaya gya..kese job pane k lie wo preshan rhi...fr ek insaurance selling sector me use job mil hi gyi...pr wha target ke cmplt na hone pr mn udaas hona....ye bht aam hai...aisa aksar insaurance selling sector me hota hai..kabhi up...kbhi down...khair vivek ne sheenu ka achhe se sath diya...dono pyar krne lge...or shadi ka bhi decide ke liya...
Fr sheenu ko uske bap ke bare me pta lga ki kaise usne uski maa ko chhod diya...gusse me jalti sheenu ne vivek ko sb btaya...or apni frnd ruchi ke help se intenrnet pr ek fake company bma daali...or fr shuru hua mission deepak ko sadak pr laao.....
Babut hi hosbiyi se...in logo ne plan pr work kiya...or akhirkar deepak ko brbaad ke hi diya...
Bdle ki ek bahatren kahani thi ye...
Sheenu or uski ma ka struggle bahut achha lga...bahut reality thi usme...khair...overall ek masterpiece story thi ye...thanks itni achhi story pdhne k lie apne hme moka diya...all the best...

 

[Ristrcted]

Bachat...

Spoiler

Aise To jindagi Kai acche aur bure anubhav se bhari hui hai... Aisa har Kisi ke sath hota hai... Meri jindagi mein bhi utaar chadhav bachpan se hi aate rahe hain.... Lekin beete saal lockdown ka samay ek ajeeb si anhoni ki tarah Aaya Jo mujhe jindagi ki sabse badi Seekh dekar Chala Gaya..... Darasal main paisa aur bachat ko lekar Poori Tarah befikr rahata tha Mera manana tha ki aaj sukhi raho kal ki chinta mein apna aaj kyon bigadna.... Isi Soch ke sath Maine jabse kamaana shuru Kiya apna Jeevan aise hi bitaya... main Kai saal se a computer operator ke pad par karyarat hun meri aamdani itni rahi ki main aaram se apne ghar ka kharch Chala sakta tha... lekin maine Kabhi bachat karne per dhyaan nahin diya tha the main Puri lagan se kam karta paisa aata aur use kharch kar deta tha...

Kyunki mujhe pata tha agale maah tankhwa aa hi jayegi.. Mata pita bachat karne ki baat kehte toh main agali bar kahkar unko taal deta tha... Main sochta tha ki bachat bad mein karunga abhi to jivan ke ke sare shauk pura kar lo... Soch tak to theek tha magar main apne doston ke samne branded kapde ghadiyan avam nai nai phone ka dikhawa karne se bhi baz nahin aata tha.....

Jivan isi tarah beet raha tha ki coronavirus ke prakop ke Karan achanak lockdown lag Gaya or uss waqt mere bank account mein sirf 3 hajar rupaye the... mere ghar mein meri patni aur mere Mata pita kul chaar sadasya the ghar ka kharch Mari kamaai se hichalta tha....

Lockdown ke bad sari gatividhiyan achanak se band ho gai aur log gharon mein kaid ho gaye... Kaam kaaj sab jahan the wahi tham Gaye maine Kabhi ye Nahin socha tha ki ekadam se aisa bhi kuchh ho jaega..... Parivar ki sehat ke alava meri sabse badi chinta yeh thi aage kya hoga Ghar kharch ke liye mere pass jyada paise Nahin the... Mujhe is baat ka bhi dar tha ki main jaha kaam karta hun wahan se uss maheene ki tankhvah milegi bhi ya nahin... kuch samajh nahin aa raha tha ki aage kya hoga.....

Jaise Jaise din gujar rahe the meri chinta bhi badhti ja rahi thi ration ka saman bhi dheere dheere samapt ho raha tha.... Maine isse pahle Kabhi aisi viprit paristhiti Nahin dekhi thi... isliye mai apne seh karmiyon se baat karke unse iss maheene ki tankhvah milane ke bare mein pata lagane ki koshish karta rahata mujhe donon hi Tarah ke jawab milte koi kahta hai meri tankhwa milegi to koi kahta Nahin milegi.....

Main bahut ghabrane lag gaya tha parivar chalane ki jimmedari meri thi... Yeh soch ke Kisi se udhar lekar apna Kam Chala Lunga lekin ek baat yah bhi thi ki ki aaj Toh har koi hath rok kar kharch kar raha hai fir koi mujhe udhar kyon dega ?... Main har Waqt gumsum sa rehta aur Kabhi Kabhi apni aadat se vipreet patni par bewajah gussa bhi kar baitha tha rah rahakar mujhe bachat ko najar andaj karne ki aadat per khud se ghrina bhi hoti thi.....

Uss Waqt maa pitaji ji ke bachat ke paison se gujara hota Raha shesh upar wale ki kripa se kuchh hi din mein meri salary bhi a gai... chinta aur pareshani ke un dinon mein mujhe yeh samajh aa chuka tha ki paise ki bachat kitni mahatavpurn hoti hai.... Yadi maine ab tak bachat ki hoti toh mein mansik roop se utna pareshan Nahin hota... Unn dinon ne mujhe yeh sikha Diya Ki mujhe thoda thoda paisa bachana hi chahiye taki jivan mein Kabhi bhi aisi paristhitiyon Aaye to paisa hamari madad Kare.....

Apne is anubhav ke madhyam se mai bas yahi kehana Chahta Hun ki meri Tarah aur bhi Kai log honge Jo bachat karne se bajaye Sara paisa kharch karne mein lage rahte hain jabki ki hamare bujurgon ki bachat karne ki Salah bewajah Nahin Hoti... Paisa na bachane ke bahut se bahane hote Hain jaise kharch bahut hai hamara Kam Nahin chal raha aadi lekin agar ham sankalp karte Hain to safalta milati hai.... Paise aur bachat ki ahmiyat samjhiye jyada Nahin toh tankhwa ka kuchh hissa to jarur bachaye taki ki Apaat sthitiyon mein aap dharya purvak apna wah Apne parivar ka poshan kar sake.....

Dhanyvad....

Nice story....real life based
Bachat karna achhi baat hoti hai...par humme ye sab bekar hi lagta hai...bc paise kya hai haath ke maiel...jab jarurat honge mil jaayenge kamma lenge....par lockdown mein aisa hua ki sabko hosh aa gaya....Naat those big goonss.... Selmon bhoi is still naat saving money for his shadi
Haa to sab samajh gaye ki agar koi naya navela Asharam jiske har decision ke baad hungama hota hi hai....uske bharose nahi rah sakte...aur naa wo Chikara ke bharose...matlab saving karni hi hai...

apan ko pata nahi apan kya likh raha Chikara...Asharam par accha lag rela hai....
Story sahi thi...bahut sahi hai...

ab ju bhi saving pe dhyaan do aur ho sakke to Selmon bhoi ki shadi ke liye chanda dene ka....

 

[Mastrani]

yar mazaak udana bahut asaan hai kisi ka per agar jigar me zor hai to daily update story challenge me aao koi bhi ek nayi story ke sath

आपको बुरा जरुर लगा होगा किसी बात का पर इसे दिल पर मत लीजिये. हर कहानी को देखने का सबका अपना नजरिया होता है. कहानी के मेन फोरम में आपकी कहानी को मिले 'views' और 'comments' बताते हैं की आप एक अच्छे लेखक हो और लोग आपका काम पसंद करते है.
मुझे इस फोरम से जुड़े सिर्फ ६ माह ही हुए हैं और USC से मुझे काफी उम्मीदें थी. पर जिस फोरम का 90%+ traffic 'adult' content को पसंद करता हो वहाँ USC की कहानियाँ कौन पढ़ेगा? किसी भी contest की सफलता के लिए श्रोताओं की भागेदारी अति आवश्यक होती है. USC में तो श्रोता ही लेखक हैं और लेखक ही श्रोता. USC की रचना करते वक़्त शायद हम कुछ तथ्यों को भूल गए. XF जैसी साइट्स पर सिर्फ दो तरह की कहानियां होती है, 'Adult' और 'Non-Adult'. बाकी 'Thriller', 'Sci-Fi', 'Fantasy', 'Incest', 'Love story' इत्यादि मात्र एक 'Filter' का काम करते हैं. अच्छा होता की USC में दो गुट बना दिए जाते, 'Adult' और 'Non-Adult'. XF में 'Non-Adult' कहानियों को पसंद करने वालों की संख्या बहुत ज्यादा नहीं है और वो USC में हिस्सा लेते हैं जो हम 'Reviews' में देख ही रहे है. पर 'Adult' कहानियों को पसंद करने वालों ने USC में न के बराबर रूचि दिखाई है. मतलब XF से जुड़े 90% श्रोता अब भी USC में रूचि नहीं दिखा रहे है. इसलिए USC में 'Adult' और 'Non-Adult' कहानियों के दो गुट होने जरुरी है. और सिर्फ गुट ही नहीं, पुरस्कार भी अलग हो.
ये सारी बातें सिर्फ और सिर्फ XF के ४१,६०१ सदस्यों की USC जैसे contest में उनकी भागेदारी बढ़ाने के लिए कहीं गई हैं. अतः जीतना तो उसी कहानी को है जो श्रेष्ठ है और judges जिस के हित में फैसला देंगे.
४१६०१ की संख्या में ४७ कहानियां और २४-२५ श्रोताओं (ज्यादातर लेखक) द्वारा 'reviews' को आप सफल मान सकते है पर मेरे लिए ये एक असफलता ही है.