★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2023 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Trinity]

Last date for posting reviews for the award of best reader is also increased, now you can post your reviews to feature in the best reader award till 15 th March 2023 11:59 Pm.You can also post your reviews After that deadline but they won't be counted for the best readers award. So Cheers.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- Chudai wala bhoot
Writer :- Dirty banda

Positive points :- Quick sex lover ke liye aapki ye story bahut achi hai. Story ka title bilkul perfect tha.

Negative points :- Kahani kab suru hui kab khtam kuch pata hi nahi chala. Sex scene me bhi koi kamukta nahi thi. Aapne story me bhi koi Logic nahi dikhaya, dikhaya to sirf sex, jo mili jaha mili usi ke sath suru ho gaye. Aur uski wife ka to smjh me aata hai. Lakin ye beti aur bahut ka to jaise wo pair khole baithi thi " ki aao meri le lo. "

Best dialogue :- " hahahahahah ab hogi chut hi chut "

Conclusion :- kahani me aap abhi aur bhi bahut kuchh dikha skte the. Word count kafi bache the Aapke paas. Khair kul mila kar mujhe ye ek avg. Story lagi.
Next time Ummid rahegi ki aap ek achi story ke sath aayenge.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- यादें..
Writer :- SANJU ( V. R. )

Positive points :- Jaisi kahaniya aap likhte hai, ye story bhi bikul wahi, ek emotional story thi. Story ka concept to purana hi hai. Lakin jis tarah unique aur khubsurat way me aapne ise parstut kiya hai uske bare me mai kya hi kahu. Story me bas 2 hi kirdar the. Aur unhone apna bakhubi kaam kiya. College wali nok jok se aapne is emotional story me comedy ka ek safal tadka laga hi diya. Armaan, varsha ke bich ke sare sanwad mujhe bahut hi ache aur dil ko chhu jane wale lage. Kai moments aise the jo bahut ache se feel hue. Story ki ending bhi kafi surprising aur bikul shandaar rahi.

Negative points :- Kuli ne setting me baad bhi 500 rupee liye aur General dibbe me kuli ne rumal chor diya aur waha koi aur aa kar nahi baitha mujhe bad ye baat ajib lagi. Baki aapki story me mujhe koi kami nahi lagi.

Best dialogue :- Waise to kafi lines mujhe bahut achi lagi. Lakin 2 best yaha likh raha hu.
" यह यादें ही तो मेरी सम्पति है , धरोहर है। "

" क्या परिचय दोगी मेरा ? मेरा सफर यहीं तक का है "

Conclusion :- Aapki story to bahut hi achi thi bhai. Lakin fir bhi mujhe aapki ye story aapke last year ki story se kamtar lagi.
But fir bhi mere liye aapki story winners ke race me hai.
Baki aapse aage bhi USC me aise hi jabardast story ki ummid bani rahegi.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- "अर्ध नारी" (Adultry + lesbion)
Writer :- manu@84

Positive points :- Aapne bikul hi unique aur naye topic par apni story likhi. Aur story ka narration bhi bahut Kamal ka raha. Transgender ko hamare samaj me har koi ghrina ki najro se dekhta hai. Aur jo aapne story me dikhaya hai, aisa bilkul sambhav hai ki aane wale future me aisi baate dekhne ko kafi mile. Story ke sare kirdaro ne bhi apna kaam bakhubi kiya. Story ke jariye aapne hmare samaj me kam ho rahi Female ratio Ki taraf bhi hamara dhyan kichne ki kosis ki.
Story ki sbse achi baat lagi mujhe Vishal ka kirdar jisne sub jante hue bhi kirti ko accept kiya aur pura maan samman diya.
Aaj me time me jinko transgender se pyar hai ya bahut se transgender aise hai jo apna operation karwa kar apne pasnd ki body me aa jate hai. Vishal bhi kirti ke sath aisa karwa skta tha. Wo alag baat hai story ko aisa dikhane ke liye aapne ye nahi kiya. Baki story ki ending mujhe kafi achi lagi. Ek transgender ko kahe to aapne uske sapno se bhi jyada de diya is story me.

Negative points :- Shilpa aur Kirti kab ek dusre ke prati aakarshit ho gayi ye baat sahi se nahi dikha paye aap. Sath me Shilpa ka apne bhabhi kirti ke sath wo sub karna aise bina koi phle ke aakarshan ke smjha me nahi aaya.

Best dialogue :- " कितना भाग्यशाली था वो बच्चा जिसकी दो मांएं थी! "

Conclusion :- jyada kuch na kahte hue mai bas itna hi kahunga ki Mujhe aapki story bahut hi jyada pasand aayi. Mere hisab se ye story winners ki race me honi cahiye.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- शैली
Writer :- Darkk Soul

Positive points :- Aapki ye story mujhe kafi achi lagi. Story ka narration bhi thik hi thi. Aapki story me mujhe horror to jyada feel nahi hua lakin thrill jarur ache se feel hua. Jaise jaise story aage badh rahi thi dimak me yahi chal raha tha ki ab kya hoga Shaili aur sudhir ke sath ? Dono kirdaro ka ek dusre ke liye aapar pyar bhi saaf dikhayi diya. Tabhi to Sudhi mana karne ke baad bhi room se bahar aaya.

Negative points :- Story me ek do jagah grammer ki mistakes thi. Fir sbse badi kami story ki ending lagi. Is story ko aap isase kahi jyada achi ending de skte the. Ye Jis kisi chij ne bhi shaili ko apne vash me kar rakha tha uske bare me bhi aapne koi information nahi di.

Best dialogue :- "सारे मर्द एक जैसे ही होते हैं --- बोलो कुछ, वो समझेंगे कुछ! हमेशा यही सब चलता है दिमाग में. तुम्हें सफाई देने या खुश होने की ज़रूरत नहीं है. मैं वाकई कुछ और खाने की बात कर रही थी. समथिंग वैरी टेस्टी."

Conclusion :- Mujhe aapki ye story kafi achi lagi. Lakin is year jis level ki story post hui hai USC me uske hisab se is story ko winner list me jagah to nahi mil payegi.
Ummid karunga ki next time aap in bato ko dhyan me rakh kar ek achi story post likhenge.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- SAFAR - Jeet ka? Haar ka ? ya... Vastvikta ka ??
Writer :- Shadow_Chaser

Positive points :- Ye kya tha bhai ? Bilkul hi bawal such kahu mujhe ye story bahut hi jyada achi lagi. Story ka title bhi aapne bikul satik rakha, isase acha title ho hi nahi skta tha. Story ka concept bikul unique, naya tha. Narration ab tak ki post ki gayi sari story's me sbse best tha mere liye. Aur fir aapne jo alag alag color ke font ke sath persent, past nd man ki bato ko alag alag dikhya hai wo to kamal ka hi hai. Usase story read krne me bikul bhi problem nahi hui. Story me aapne bikul sahi jagah par pic aur gift. Add kiye.
Story me aapne kitni mehnat ki hai wo sare fact ke reality se hi pata chal raha hai. Story ka snwad bahut hi acha tha. Story ko aapne Hitler ke haar se suru karke uske maut tak dikhaya. Lakin uske bich jo kuch bhi aapne kiya uske bare me kahne ko word hi nahi hai aapke paas. Story me jo time travel hue hai. Wo bikul effert less laga.
Aapke story ke tarif me kehne ko to mere paas bahut kuch hai lakin mujhe sahi word nahi mil rahe hai. Isiliye yahi viram deta hu.

Negative points :- Mujhe aapke story me koi kami nahi lagi.

Best dialogue :- Waise to kafi dialog aise the jinko bulaya nahi ja skta hai. Lakin jo do mujhe sbse best lage mai wahi yaha likh raha hu
"Manga tha tumko humesha ke liye..
Khud ko mitakar mujhe kyu jinda lash banana chahte ho!
Jeena to tha tere saath hi...
Kyu na maut ke in palon me hi, bante hai ek doosre ke saathi..!? "

" Duniya ko raakh karne chala tha... ..
Khud hi raakh ban kar reh gaya..
Aisa kya gunah kiya tha..?
Ki apno ko to khoya hi,
Khudke wajood se bhi bhatakta chala gaya.... "

Conclusion :- Jyada na kehte hue Mai sirf itna kahunga ki mere Hisab se aapki story 1st position ke bilkul layak hai. Baki ab result jo kuch bhi ho.
Itni achi story ke liye thank you bhai.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- हज़ारों ऐसे फ़ासलें थे
Writer :- Royal Lover

Positive points :- Story achi thi. Concept wahi purana love ka tha. Lakin sbse jyada khubsurat pure story me shayri lagi. One sided love story dikhayi aapne. Aur ending to bikul soch se bhi pare dikhaya. Story ka Hero ka role to acha laga. Lakin heroine ke pure family ko marna glt baat hai unhone kya bigada tha ?

Negative points :- Kirdaro ke name nahi diya. Kahani se jyada Shayri hi padhne ko mili. Phle aapne kaha jawab nahi aaya kuch. To fir pyar accept kab hua ? Wo to ghar se nikalti nahi thi. Aur nikalti thi bhi to uski taraf nahi dekhti thi. To mile kaise ?
Aur fir chalti train me Gate par khada ho kar kya wo police ke goli marne ka intejar kar raha tha ? Police wale bhi bahut critical case me hi goli marte hai.

Best dialogue :- “socha chaloon ijhaar karu ,par karu to kaise karu ,ye ishq hai koi ret ka mahal nahi jo jwar aane par bikhar jaye ,inkar ki umeed puri hai par dur jaane ka iraada to nahi hai ,fassle jarur hai darmiyan par mere mohabbat ek din doobogi jarur ….socha chalun ijahar karu “

Conclusion :- Story me Logic ki kafi kami lagi mujhe. Sahi se story ka detail bhi nahi mila ki kya kaise hua ? Is story ko aap aur bhi ache se likh skte the. Mujhe aapki ye story avg. Hi lagi.
Ummid karta hu next time aap in bato ka dhyan rakhte hue aur achi story ke sath hamara manoranjan karenge.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- Ajab Gazab Naukar
Writer :- Guddu Bhaiya

Positive points :- Story ka concept to naya tha. Robo nd Nik ka kirdar bhi kafi acha laga mujhe. Kahi kahi comedy ka bhi bahut acha tadka lagya aapne. Story ka title story ke hisab se sahi laga.

Negative points :- Sbse badi baat Logic ki bahut kami dikhi story me. Ek school teacher ke paas itne paise kaha se aa gaye ki itna high-tech robot kharid liya ?
Aapne kud kaha ki robo tane nahi samjhta tha. To aakhir me usne nik ki aakho me dar aur ghabrahat kaise feel kiya ?

Best dialogue :- " Ek robo apni purani yaadon ko yaad karke apne space ship mei galaxy par kar gaya "

Conclusion :- Story kafi short thi. Isme aap Robot movie ya Karishma ka Karishma serial ke robot ki tarah kafi kuch dikha skte the.
Ye ek Avg. Story hi lagi mujhe.
Ummid karta hu next time aap aur jyada preparation ke sath ek achi story prastut karenge.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- Insaf
Writer :- samrocker

Positive points :- Story achi thi. Concept bhi naya tha. Kirdaro ne apna kaam bhi thik thak kiya. Aapne apne story ke through ye dikhane ki kosis ki, ki kaise jab ek insan ko Kanoon se insaf nahi milta hai to wo kud insaf karne nikal padta hai. Aur ye baat kalpanik nahi reality hai. Sath me aapne ye bhi bakhubi dikhaya ki kaise kanoon ke ye rakhwale Ek aam aadami ki madad ke name par bas koram purti karte hai. Laki. Wahi baat jab amir logo ki aati hai to din raat ek krke bhagte rahte hai.

Negative points :- Word mistakes bahut jyada the. Fir aapne police station ki jagah office word ka use kiya hai ek jagah jo ki bilkul galt hai. Story me jo Sp ne kaha wo baat mujhe bikul glt lagi. Agar us aadmi ko 1month phle insaf mil jata to wo kyu ye kaam karta.

Best dialogue :- " To dekh lia aap logo ne mene inh mar kar koi gunah ni kia balki insaaf kia hai "

Conclusion :- story ka concept to bahut acha tha. Lakin abhi aapke paas bhut se word count bache hue the jiske jariye aap bhut kuch dikha skte the. Jaise katil ke bache ka gayab hona, fir uska insaf mangna, kanoon walo ka koram purti karna. Aur fir katil ka kud se badla lena.
Ye sub aap bade aaram se 7000 word me dikha skte the.
Khair ummid karta hu aage aap in bato ka dhyan rakhenge.

 

[Darkk Soul]

Story- " Ek Panth 2 Kaaj "
Writer- Rajizexy

Padh kar vakai mei laga ki ek panth 2 kaaj hue hain. Mujhe sabse acchi baat is story ka flow aur iska narration laga.

Illegal relationship mei mere vichar se shayad thodi jaldbaaji hui hai; par overall acchi hai.

Very nice.

 

[Itachi_Uchiha]

Story :- The Internet (Erotica)
Writer :- Darkk Soul

Positive points :- Quick sex lover ko aapki story kafi pasnd aayegi. Story ka concept bhi naya tha. Story me kamukta bhi thi. Story ka narration bhi thik thak tha. Dono Kirdar ne bhi apna kaam thik se kiya. Yaha Shivam ke bare me to kuch nahi keh skta quki ladke to is chij ka wait karte hi rahte hai. Sahi mayno me Riya ko VIP treatment mili. Title bhi story ke hisab se sahi laga.

Negative points :- Story me sex ke alawa aur kuch nahi dikhaya gaya. Fir Shivam aur Ritu ke bich sex bhi turant dikhaya gaya. Jo mujhe kafi jldi laga.

Best dialogue :- “Thank you for setting everything up.”

Conclusion :- Mujhe aapki 1st story isase jyada achi lagi. Kul mila kar ye story mujhe ek Avg. Story hi lagi.
Ummid karta hu next time aur ache se prepared ho kar hmare samne ek story pesh karenge.