★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2025 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Lucifer]

Unfortunately We are facing a server issue which limits most users from posting long posts which is very necessary for USC entries as all of them are above 5-7K words ,we are fixing this issue as I post this but it'll take few days so keeping this in mind the last date of entry thread is increased once again,Entry thread will be closed on 7th May 11:59 PM. And you can still post reviews for best reader's award till 13th May 11:59 PM. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

You can PM your story to any mod and they'll post it for you.

Note to writers :- Don't try to post long updates instead post it in 2 Or more posts. Thanks. Regards :- Luci

 

[Agasthya]

Cubicle : A Sky Within..
Agasthya

क्या खूबसूरत कहानी लिखी है. कहानी मे आप ने एक मिडसलक्लास जिंदगी को दिखाया है. पढ़ाई पढ़ाई के बाद जॉब. और जॉब करते आने वाली कई सारी मुसीबते. कहानी का अशली मतलब की एक मिडिल क्लास इंसान कितना बंधा हुआ है. इंसान सोचता है की जॉब मिल जाए तो सारी प्रॉब्लम सॉल्व हो जाएगी. मगर अशली प्रॉब्लम तो वहां से स्टार्ट होती है. जॉब मे भी कंपीटीटर्स चमचागिरी का सहारा लेकर आगे बढ़ जाते है. किस तरह से हीरो को प्रोजेक्ट से निकला. क्यों की कोई बॉस के आगे दुम हिलता रहता है. Aarohi से प्यार हुआ. पर वो भी गलत प्रमोशन लेकर निकल गई. पर सही सिख तो ये है की इन सघर्ष मे इंसान अपने सपने ना भूल जाए. अमेज़िंग स्टोरी. माझा आ गया.

Raftaar Jaanlewa h..
Agasthya

क्या अमेज़िंग कल्पना है. तेज़ रफ़्तार से जाने के बाद मरने का एहसास. वो लड़की जिसने वो एहसास दिलाया. वर्डस का सही उपयोग. मै नहीं जानती की ऐसे फॉर्मेट की कहानियो को क्या कहते है. मगर इस तरह के फॉर्मेट मे मै स्टोरी पहले भी लिख चुकी हु. बहोत अमेज़िंग स्टोरी है.


बस कोई कमी लगी तो एक गलती है. आत्मकथा मे कभी खुद के मृत्यु का जीकर नहीं होता. ऐसी कहानी खुद की नहीं लेखक की जुबानी लिखी जाती है. मै कोई बड़ी राइटर तो नहीं. अगर मेरे मे गलती हो तो प्लीज मुजे माफ करना.

Thanks

 

[avsji]

लिखी आपने अप्रैल में थी, लेकिन यह घटनाएँ हालिया हालातों पर आधारित लग रही हैं!
अद्भुत!

जैसा कि आपकी अन्य कहानियाँ हैं, यह कहानी, परिंदा, भी जबरदस्त है!
आपकी कहानियों के कथानक कितने शक्तिशाली होते हैं, शायद आपको भी नहीं पता होता Shetan जी!

बड़ी भावनात्मक कहानी है - आज पढ़ कर संभव है कि हम इसको उचित रूप से अप्प्रीशिएट न कर सकें, लेकिन बहुत ही सशक्त कथानक है। दो दुश्मन देशों की सीमा की कठोर सच्चाईयों को उचित रूप से दर्शाती है यह कहानी! “दुश्मन देश” में पुरानी मित्रता, बहन-भाई के रिश्ते और प्रेम को जिस तरह दर्शाया है, वो बहुत ही भावुक करने वाला भी है, और प्रेरणादायक भी। बहुत ही सशक्त तरीके से प्रस्तुत किया है आपने इस कहानी को! वाह!

वीरू के रूप में एक साहसी, निडर, रोमांटिक, संवेदनशील, और मज़ाकिया पात्र सामने रखा है (और उसके ज़रिए से आपने अपनी शायरी की स्किल्स भी दिखा दीं)! सरफ़राज़ भी संवेदनशील है, लेकिन अपनी वर्दी के उत्तरदायित्व से बँधा हुआ है। हिना, शायद इस कहानी का सबसे इमोशनल हिस्सा है। बहन और प्रेमिका की संवेदनशीलता लिए, इंसानियत का ख़ूबसूरत चेहरा!

स्पेलिंग मिस्टेक्स असंख्य हैं (हा हा हा हा), लेकिन अब आदत हो गई है!

वैसे भी संवादों और शायरियों के कारण कहानी कभी भी बोझिल नहीं लगती। मुस्कान बनी रहती है। फ्लैशबैक वाले प्रसंग मुझे लगता है कि कुछ अधिक लम्बे हैं, और उनको छोटा किया जा सकता था। हिना और कविता के किरदारों को और भी गहराई से दिखाया जा सकता था। अंत अच्छा है। कहानी की कई परतें हैं - मित्रता, प्रेम, अफ़सरशाही, और मीडिया भी! अच्छा इस्तेमाल किया है आपने इन बातों का! बहुत ही पसंद आई यह रचना।

शक्तिशाली है!

आपकी लेखनी का स्तर ऊँचा है बहुत! बस, बार बार वर्तनी (स्पेलिंग) में मात खा जाती हैं - लेकिन हमको पता है कि वो क्यों है। लेकिन फिर भी, कोशिश कर के आप उस मामूली सी कमी को पूरा कर सकती हैं।

ये कहानी मेरे ख्याल से “चन्दगी राम…” से बेहतर है।

 

[Euphoria]

Story : A Train to Nowhere
Writer : Euphoria

An interesting psychological horror story based on time loop, somewhat like dark room horror, although it is somewhat different and better than that.

At the beginning of the story, it seems like a clichéd train horror, but the writer has made it different by adding time loop and old memories in it. The story is not character based but event based, so the character has not been explored much.

The words and metaphors used in it are excellent, and the narration is great, whether it is the metaphor for the train or to show the atmosphere and Anika's situation.

However, the horror may seem a little less. The end of the story may seem incomplete, but it was an open ending, as the name of the story suggests, Anika has become a part of a never ending journey.

Although story has potential to be in long form and explore the memories and life of Anika.

Overall a great story, I don't see any particular flaw in it. Worth to read definitely.

Rating - 8/10

Positives: The setting of a horrifying, inescapable train adds tension and mystery, creating an eerie atmosphere. Horror and train has deeper meaning than surface level frights. And also meaning variation to loop also.

Negatives: Despite great writing, horror doesn't have effect that should have been with such eerie atmosphere. because of no clear stakes on why her escapes matter, as it is not character based story where her death would have hurt.

Overall good meaningful story with its flaws.

Story: A train to nowhere
Writer: Euphoria

Story line: Horror/psycological drama where a lady catch a train which runs in a time loop, leads to nowhere.

Treatment: Nicely knitted story, which keep readers to edge, gripping.

Positive points: Well descriptive writing and gripping story. So descriptive that it gives goosebump in few instances.

Negative points: As like name, story too going nowhere. As how she get on it, why or what could be the possibility of her coming out, or not.

Suggestion: You have ability and you have shown it, but story needs efforts from their character. Could have been better, I mean it is gripping and chilling, but it should end at some point.

Rating:7/10

Story: the Quantum Curse
Writer: Euphoria

Story Line: Based on fantasy theme the story is about some curse related to some treasure.

Treatment: nicely written and many concepts are explained to some extent, but yet not connecting, that is what I felt. Maybe lack of some scientific terms.

Positive points: nice built-up, well narrated story.

Negative points: It never make me on edge, also there was no explanation to the cause of curse as why it is there, what it was protecting.

Suggestion: These kind of fiction needs a kind of explanation to justify it with some extent to science or something logical. I would suggest you to read Ashwin Sanghi in this regard.

Rating: 7.5/10

"A Train to Nowhere" by Euphoria

Ye kahani ek alag hi tarah ki thriller hai jo dil aur dimag dono ko chhoo jati hai. Anika ke sath train ka safar ek mystery ban jata hai jo shuru se lekar akhir tak suspense banaye rakhta hai. Ye sirf ek train ki kahani nahi balki ek aisi journey hai jo insaan ke andar ke dar, yaadon, aur past ko samne lati hai. Kahani ka mood dark aur haunting hai aur iska andaz dilchasp hai. Lekin kuch jagah thodi confusion aur slow feel hoti hai aur thodi clarity ya action isse aur mazboot bana sakta tha.

Positive Points:

Suspense aur Mystery:
Kahani shuru se hi ek suspense banati hai. khali train, silent passengers aur time ka loop ye sab dil mein dar aur curiosity jagate hain. Har pal kuch naya khulne ka ehsaas hota hai.

Atmosphere ka Jadoo:
Train ka andhera, platform ki khamoshi aur repeating scenes ka description itna real hai ki aap bhi Anika ke sath us dar ko mehsoos karte ho. Mood set karne mein kahani kamal karti hai.

Anika ka Inner Journey:
Passengers ka Anika ke past se judna jaise uski maa, dost, aur dada ek emotional aur psychological twist lata hai. Ye dikhata hai ki ye safar sirf bahar ka nahi andar ka bhi hai.

Unique Concept:
Time loop aur past ke ghosts ka idea alag aur interesting hai. Ye ek simple train journey ko ek bada mystery bana deta hai jo sochne pe majboor karta hai.

Bhaavnao ka Asar:
Anika ke dar, confusion, aur realization ka likha hua andaaz aisa hai ki aap uske sath sath sab mehsoos karte ho. Uske emotions dil tak jate hain.

Negative Points:

Thodi Slow Speed:
Kuch jagah kahani thodi slow ho jati hai jaise jab Anika bar bar loop check karti hai. Thodi tezi ya action isse aur engaging bana sakta tha.

Ant thoda Adhoora:
Kahani ek emotional note pe khatam hoti hai, lekin ye clear nahi hota ki Anika ka kya hua ya train ka maksad kya tha. Thoda closure ya hint accha hota.

Ek Acchi Kahani ke Liye Kya Accha Hai, Kya Bura Hai:

Accha:
Ek acchi kahani mein suspense, emotion, aur ek unique idea hona chahiye aur ye teeno isme hai. Atmosphere aur Anika ka inner struggle iska strong point hai.

Bura:
Kahani mein clarity aur ek satisfying end ki kami hai. Agar mystery ka thoda sa jawab ya resolution milta to padhne wala zyada khush hota.

Wartani aur Lay (Spelling and Rhythm):

Wartani (Spelling):
Bhasha simple aur saaf hai koi badi galti nahi dikhti. English ka use acha hai aur descriptions mein flow hai.

Lay (Rhythm):
Shuru mein tezi se chalti hai jab mystery shuru hota hai beech mein thodi dheemi padti hai jab Anika loop samajhne ki koshish karti hai aur akhir mein emotional peak ke sath khatam hoti hai.

Ye kahani ek dark, mysterious, aur emotional ride hai jo aapko sochne pe majboor karti hai. Anika ke sath ye train ka safar daravna bhi hai aur dilchasp bhi. Agar aapko suspense, mystery, aur psychological kahaniyan pasand hai to ye aapke liye ek accha experience ho sakta hai. Mystery lovers ke liye ye ek must-try hai!​

"The Quantum Curse" by Euphoria

Ek thrilling aur science se bhari kahani hai jo mystery, adventure, aur time ke saath khelti hai. Riya aur Amit ka Jaipur ke stepwell se shuru hua safar ek ajeeb curse tak jata hai jo dil ko baandh ke rakhta hai. Yeh kahani science aur purani kahaniyon ka ek shandaar mix hai.

Positive Points:

Suspense aur Mystery:
Stepwell mein timepiece ka milna, time ke glitches aur Amer Fort ka raaz, har scene suspense ko badhata hai aur dil mein curiosity jagata hai.

Shandaar Atmosphere:
Jaipur ki pink city, stepwell, haveli aur Amer Fort ka description itna vivid hai ki aap khud mehsoos karte ho. Yeh kahani jaan daal deta hai.

Science aur Magic ka Mix:
Quantum physics aur purane curse ka combination ek unique twist deta hai. Riya ka science se curse ko samajhna dilchasp hai.

Characters ka Growth:
Riya ka science pe bharosa aur Amit ka legends pe vishwas badalna unke andar ek gehra change dikhata hai jo relatable lagta hai.

City ka Role:
Jaipur khud ek character ki tarah lagta hai, uski history, chaos aur wapas normal hona kahani ko aur mazedaar banata hai.

Negative Points:

Ending thodi Flat:
Curse ka khatam hona aur city ka normal hona thoda jaldi lagta hai. Thoda aur closure ya emotional depth hota to behtar hota.

Thodi Clarity ki Kami:
Timepiece ka kaam karna aur curse ka exact reason thoda vague rehta hai. Science aur magic ke beech thodi aur explanation chahiye thi.

Slow Moments:
Beech mein research aur fort ki khoj thodi dheemi lagti hai. Thodi tezi ya action add kiya ja sakta tha.

Side Characters ka Kam Istemal:
Panditji jaise characters interesting hain lekin unka role chhota hai. Unke through thodi aur backstory mil sakti thi.

Ek Acchi Kahani ke Liye Kya Accha Hai, Kya Bura Hai:

Accha:
Ek acchi kahani mein suspense, strong setting aur characters ka growth hona chahiye aur yeh teeno isme hai. Yeh dilchasp aur sochne wali baat hain.

Bura:
Thodi pace aur clear ending ki kami hai agar yeh cheezein hoti to kahani aur impactful lagti.

Wartani aur Lay (Spelling and Rhythm):

Wartani (Spelling):
English mein likhi gayi yeh kahani saaf aur galti se mukta hai. Bhasha simple lekin powerful hai.

Lay (Rhythm):
Shuru mein kahani tezi se chalti hai jab timepiece milta hai, beech mein thodi dheemi padti hai research ke waqt aur aakhir mein tezi pakadti hai.

Ek mazedaar aur thrilling kahani hai jo science, mystery, aur Jaipur ki khoobsurati ko ek saath lata hai. Riya ka timepiece ke saath safar aur curse ko rokna dil ko chuta hai aur sochne pe majboor karta hai. Thodi si clarity aur strong ending ki kami hai lekin atmosphere aur suspense iski taakat hai. Science fiction aur mystery lovers ke liye yeh ek shandaar kahani hain!!​

Story review: The Quantum Curse
Author: Euphoria

A quantum physicist, a cursed pocket watch, and a city flickering through centuries.. The Quantum Curse is a thrilling desi cocktail of science, folklore, and full-blown temporal chaos.

Dr. Riya Kapoor came to Jaipur for soil samples and ended up playing tug-of-war with time itself. With a skeptical geologist sidekick and a ticking relic straight out of a Rajput sci-fi fever dream, the story zips from dusty stepwells to Amer Fort’s belly, blending Black Mirror-level glitches with old-school legends.

What makes it shine? Smart pacing, quirky humor, grounded characters, and a city that feels alive.. even when it’s stuck in a time loop. Also, bonus points for a chill Panditji casually explaining quantum philosophy over temple bells.

The writing brings Jaipur alive, its streets, scents, sounds.. all feel tangible. You can almost hear the honking rickshaws and smell the roadside pakoras.

The author masterfully walks the tightrope between logic and lore, making both feel believable.

The characters Riya and Amit feel real. Their evolution from curious researchers to reluctant heroes is gradual, relatable, and rewarding.

The narrative shifts gears smoothly—from slow-burning mystery to full-blown chaos—with just enough breathing space in between.

The light touches of wit and desi humour keep the intense premise grounded and enjoyable.
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Some time-loop sequences might feel a tad long—but honestly, that just adds to the “lost in time” vibe.

A little trimming in the final act could’ve made the ending punchier—but the emotional payoff still lands.
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Final Verdict:
A refreshingly original, richly atmospheric, and smartly written tale that proves science can have soul—and time travel can have a sense of humor.

A must-read for fans of thoughtful fantasy, quirky science, and stories that make your brain and your heart tick.

Rating: 8/10​

Story - A Train to Nowhere
Writer - Euphoria
Rating - 8/10

ek aur english story
khair aate hai story pe, ye ek aisi kahani hai jo reader ko ek rahasyamay aur psychologital yatra par le jaati hai. Anika ka ye safar sirf ek bhoutik safar nahi, balki ek aatma ki khoj hai, jo uske bhootkal ke saath jude raaz aur yaado ko kholta hai. Kahani ka mahaul bahut hi jabardast tarike se banaya gaya hai. Train ka khamosh vatavaran aur anjaan musafiro ki upasthiti readers ko apni giraft me le leti hai. Lekhak ne bhasha ka bahut prabhavit karne wala prayog kiya hai, jo har scene ko jeevant banata hai. Ye kahani sirf ek safar nahi, balki Anika ke antarman ki khoj hai. Uske bhootkal ke kirdar train me musafiro ke roop mein prakat hote hai, jo uske andar ke dwand aur sangharsh ko darshata hai. Lekhak ne suspense aur rahasya ko banaye rakhne me safalta paayi hai, jo reader ko ant tak baandhe rakhta hai.

Kahani ka ant thoda unclear hai, kuch sawal anuttarit reh jaate hai, jisse thoda asantushti wala feel aata hai. Kahani ki gati shuruwat mein thodi dhimi lagti hai, jo kuch readers ko boring lag sakti hai wahi Kahani ka kuch hissa thoda jatil aur samajhne mein kathi lag sakta hai, jo kuch readers ke liye bhari pad sakta hai (do baar padhna pada ). Iske bawajood, kahani ki takat uske psychological aur philosophical pehlu me hai, jo paathak ko apne khud ke antarman ki gehraaiyo me le jaata hai.

Ye kahani aapko sochne par majboor kar degi. Ye samay, smriti, aur mansik stithi ki parto ko khojne wali ek gehri aur rahasyamay kahani hai. Agar aapko psychological thrillers pasand hai, to ye kahani aapke liye hai. Kahani reader ko ye samjhane ki koshish karti hai ki har yatra ek aantarik safar hoti hai, aur har train kisi na kisi smriti ko le kar chalti hai. Is kahani ko main 8/10 ki rating dunga, kyunki ye reader ko apne khud ke antarman ki gehraaiyon mein le jaane ki kshamata rakhti hai.

Story - The Quantum Curse
Writer - Euphoria
Rating- 7.5-8/10

Fir se english story
khair aate hai story pe , ye ek aisi kahani hai jo aapko Jaipur ki rangin galiyo se lekar quantum physics ke rahasyamay jagat tak le jaati hai. Riya Kapoor, ek tejasvi quantum physicist, Rajasthan ke dil mein chhupi ek purani paheli ko suljhane nikalti hai, aur is safar me wo khud bhi badal jaati hai.

Kahani ki taqat uske vivid varnan me hai. Aap Jaipur ki garmi, bazaar ki bheed, aur haveli ki shanti ko mehsus kar sakte hai. Lekhak ne sthaani sanskriti aur rivajo ko khubsurati se buna hai, jisse kahani me aur bhi jaan aa jati hai. Quantum physics aur purani paramparao ka milap kahani ko ek anokha aur rochak sparsh deta hai.

Riya Kapoor ka character ek majbut aur pragmatic ladki hai, jiski scientific soch aur sahas kahani ko aage badhata hai. Uska character development sundar hai, aur uski bhumika kahani me mahatvapurna hai. Amit ka character bhi achha hai, lekin uski bhumika Riya ke muqable kam mahatvapurna lagti hai.

Kuch jagah par kahani me gati dhimi pad jaati hai, khaas kar jab time glitches ki vyakhya ki jaati hai. Curse ka scientific explanation thoda jatil aur anishchit hai, jo kuch readers ko uljhan me daal sakta hai. aur Ending thodi tezi se aa jaati hai, jisse kuch sawal ansuljhe reh jaate hai.

overall ye ek manoranjak aur sochne par majboor karne wali kahani hai. Ye science fiction aur fantasy ka ek anokha blend hai, jo aapko Jaipur ke rahasyo me kho jaane par majboor kar dega. Agar aapko aisi kahaniya pasand hai jo aapki soch ko chunauti deti hai, toh yeh kahani aapke liye hai.

Meri taraf se, is kahani ko 7.5-8/10 milte hai. Ye kahani un logo ke liye hai jo science aur itihas ke rahasyamay pehluo mein ruchi rakhte hai
All the best for contest

Writer - Euphoria

Story plot - Anika’s journey starts in a train, Anika meets a lot of passengers in the train but they sit quietly, nobody says anything, it seems as if all of them are dead,

Now Anika feels something different in the vibe of the train, then the whole train takes a couple of rounds, then she notices that the train is moving in a loop and now she wonders how to come out of the loop, then she sees that some of the passengers seem familiar

On checking the passengers one by one she comes to know that these are her mom , grandfather and family members and now this is connected to the memory of the past

Now she has to get them out of the train He will have to remember those regrets of the past along with that dead person and correct them.
The end



Positive point - It feels connected from the beginning to the ending.
.Those small details in story which start with horror and then mystery what is happening.


Negative point - It feels like there are too many details at some places.
.The ending would have been better if Anika was taken out.

Overall its a great story

Rating 7/10

Writer - Euphoria
Genre - sci - fiction
Story line - quantam world ko explore karti hai story
Dr riya aur amit ko jaipur ke step well se ek time piece clock ka box milaa .
Timeclock aur quantam world ke around ye story progress karti hai .

Positive point- story mein har scene ka atmosphere feel hota hai, scene ki detailing bohat achi hai .
.Concept bohat easy way mein samjh aayi ki quantam world kya hai.
.Science aur old jaipur ki fort ki history ka mix-up.


Negative point - pandit ji ka character sudden story mein appear karna samjh nahi aata.
.Kahin kahin thoda slow laga story .
.Treasure ke point ko use kiya ja sakta tha story ke Ending mein.

Overall its a great
Rating 7/10

A heartfelt thank you to all of you for reading my stories and giving a valuable feedback.
Noted the improvement points you guys mentioned and will keep those in mile while writing a new one
Again Thank you so so much it means a lot!

 

[Aakash.]

A heartfelt thank you to all of you for reading my stories and giving a valuable feedback.
Noted the improvement points you guys mentioned and will keep those in mile while writing a new one
Again Thank you so so much it means a lot!

Pleasure ​

 

[Shetan]

लिखी आपने अप्रैल में थी, लेकिन यह घटनाएँ हालिया हालातों पर आधारित लग रही हैं!
अद्भुत!

जैसा कि आपकी अन्य कहानियाँ हैं, यह कहानी, परिंदा, भी जबरदस्त है!
आपकी कहानियों के कथानक कितने शक्तिशाली होते हैं, शायद आपको भी नहीं पता होता Shetan जी!

बड़ी भावनात्मक कहानी है - आज पढ़ कर संभव है कि हम इसको उचित रूप से अप्प्रीशिएट न कर सकें, लेकिन बहुत ही सशक्त कथानक है। दो दुश्मन देशों की सीमा की कठोर सच्चाईयों को उचित रूप से दर्शाती है यह कहानी! “दुश्मन देश” में पुरानी मित्रता, बहन-भाई के रिश्ते और प्रेम को जिस तरह दर्शाया है, वो बहुत ही भावुक करने वाला भी है, और प्रेरणादायक भी। बहुत ही सशक्त तरीके से प्रस्तुत किया है आपने इस कहानी को! वाह!

वीरू के रूप में एक साहसी, निडर, रोमांटिक, संवेदनशील, और मज़ाकिया पात्र सामने रखा है (और उसके ज़रिए से आपने अपनी शायरी की स्किल्स भी दिखा दीं)! सरफ़राज़ भी संवेदनशील है, लेकिन अपनी वर्दी के उत्तरदायित्व से बँधा हुआ है। हिना, शायद इस कहानी का सबसे इमोशनल हिस्सा है। बहन और प्रेमिका की संवेदनशीलता लिए, इंसानियत का ख़ूबसूरत चेहरा!

स्पेलिंग मिस्टेक्स असंख्य हैं (हा हा हा हा), लेकिन अब आदत हो गई है!

वैसे भी संवादों और शायरियों के कारण कहानी कभी भी बोझिल नहीं लगती। मुस्कान बनी रहती है। फ्लैशबैक वाले प्रसंग मुझे लगता है कि कुछ अधिक लम्बे हैं, और उनको छोटा किया जा सकता था। हिना और कविता के किरदारों को और भी गहराई से दिखाया जा सकता था। अंत अच्छा है। कहानी की कई परतें हैं - मित्रता, प्रेम, अफ़सरशाही, और मीडिया भी! अच्छा इस्तेमाल किया है आपने इन बातों का! बहुत ही पसंद आई यह रचना।

शक्तिशाली है!

आपकी लेखनी का स्तर ऊँचा है बहुत! बस, बार बार वर्तनी (स्पेलिंग) में मात खा जाती हैं - लेकिन हमको पता है कि वो क्यों है। लेकिन फिर भी, कोशिश कर के आप उस मामूली सी कमी को पूरा कर सकती हैं।

ये कहानी मेरे ख्याल से “चन्दगी राम…” से बेहतर है।

मुजे पूरा विश्वास था की आप को ये स्टोरी बहोत पसंद आएगी. शब्दों की गलती मेरी सच मे बहोत बड़ी कमजोरी है. पर कोसिस पूरी करुँगी. आप का बहेतरीन रेव्यू पाकर दिल खुश हो गया. मै इस कहानी को लॉन्ग स्टोरी के रूप मे फिरसे लिखने वाली हु. थैंक्यू वैरी वैरी मच avsji. लोट ऑफ़ थैंक्स.

 

[Black]

विश्वास और इंतज़ार by maad sir aka pm purush Raj_sharma

Dil ko chhu lene waali ek Prem kahani jise padhke aisa lagta hai jaise yeh meri aankho ke saamne ho raha hai
Ek ek shabd is kahani mein aisi lagti hai jaise koi motiyo ki maala bana raha ho
Aap jaise badke writer se yahi ummid thi itni achchi kahani likhi hai aapne
Kayi jagah emotional ho gaya
Aur ant mein aisi Khushi mili ki bas puchho hi mat
Shikha aur shekhar dono ka prem aisa prem tha jismein ek dusre ke bina jeena mushkil tha
Dukh kabhi khatam nahi hota hai bas khushi dhundni hoti hai
Badka writer for a reason
Ant mein yahi kahunga ek bahut behtareen kahani likhi aapne meri taraf se yeh tohfa qubul kijiye
Bas pm mat kar dena

 

[Gaurav1969]

Ritual by harshit1890
Great story as always....The twist when Abhilash was getting killed by Vikrant changed whole POV of mine....Vikrant was taking revenge of the brutuality that happened to his wife ..by killing them ...The ending was quite complex to me as it was mind-boggling....

 

[Gaurav1969]

Universal Jail by Black
agar long story ke jaise likha jaata to bahut kamaal ka hota ye,, still good work from you...waise is scene mein Suman rehti to better rehta as Samar Suman ke milk factory ke liye already werewolf se deal kar chuka hai
samar.. appan werewolf ki story ka latest update padh raha tha tabhi kisi ne appan ke peechhe se awaj di appan jab saamne dekha toh appan ke hosh udd gaye werewolf bhai ki story ki main character kaera hamare saamne khadi thi
main sab kuchh bhool gaya usne mujhe apni taraf aane ka ishaara kiya main uske paas pahuncha lekin tabhi usne mujhe behosh kar diya aur jab main jaaga toh yahan tha
jo forum pe surf karte rehta hai wo jyada relate kar payega isse....

 

[Gaurav1969]

"Khusiyon ki chahat"
"Khamosh Ishq(Mujhe pyaar hua tha)"
By Mrxr
Dono hi stories kamaal ki hai bro , .....jahan Khushyion ki Chahat liye Geet aur Rohan ka ekdusre ke prati nishchal prem bahut hi sundar dhang se prastut kiya hai....wahi Sana ka ektarfa pyaar Faisal ke liye jo uski diary mein dafn hoke reh gya....
Long review to abhi nahi likh paaunga as aur bhi padhni hai but baad mein time milte hi likhunga....
Dono hi story mind calming aur decent hai
Great job dude....

 

[Tom Hardy]

"Laung Daana" by Tom Hardy

Kahani bahut dilchasp aur rochak hai. Aarav aur Diya ki nayi shadi aur Orchha ke purane itihasik mahaul mein unka safar ek alag hi rang lata hai. Laung daana, jo ek purana spice box hai kahani ka mysterious hissa hai jisse Queen Kanchanmala ki rooh ka raaz khulta hai. Kahani mein romance, history aur supernatural ka perfect mix hai jo bandhe rakhta hai.

Diya ke roop mein queen ka aana aur uske dukh ko dikhaya gaya hai bahut sundar tareeke se. Aarav ka apni biwi ke liye pyar aur uski madad karne ka junoon dil ko chhoo jata hai. Ritual wala scene jahan saat pheron ke zariye queen ko shanti milti hai bahut emotional aur powerful hai. Ye dikhata hai ki pyar samay aur duniya ke paar bhi jeet sakta hai.

Kahani ka mahaul, Orchha ke mandiron aur nadi ka vivaran padhne wale ko wahan le jata hai. Characters jaise Gopal aur Pandit Suryakant kahani ko aur gehraai dete hain thodi si lambai zyada lagti hai par har hissa zaruri hai.

Overall ye ek aisi kahani hai jo pyar, itihas aur roohaniyat ko ek saath jodti hai. Padhne ke baad dil mein ek alag si khushi aur soch chhod jati hai. Bahut khoob likhi gayi kahani..​

bahut - 2 dhanewaad bhai aapki sameeksha ke liye bahut achha laga aapne apne keemti waqt nikal ke story padhi
thank u