Romance AHSAS

[Lucky..]

UPDATE 1

World me ek khubsurat desh hai bharat or bharat me ek place hai jiska nam hai Palampur waise to ye ek chhota sa kasba hai par aadhunik chije yha mil jati hai bas ek kami hai or wo hai education ki.
Is sahar me ek ladka rahta hai jiska nam hai Karan. Wo apne pure family ke sath rahta hai iski family joint family hai jisme iske uncle-aunt , cousin bhai and bhabhi Iski maa or iske pitaji ka dehant ho chuka jo army me the or kargil war me sahid ho chuke hai. Karan ka ek dost bhi hai jiska nam hai Raushan.
Kisi ghar k kamre me baithe do log gahri chinta me dube hue hai or ek dusre se kuchh bate kar rahe hai, ye or koi nhi Karan or Raushan hai or ye ghar hai Karan ka .
Lagta hai is bar ham phas chuke hai ab to kuchh umeed nahi hai Karan bola.
Raushan : Umeed pe duniya kayam hai or tu usi ko chhod diya ,ye bat raushan ne haste hue bola.
Karan bahut Gusse se use dekhta hai or bolta hai: itna philosophy agar padhai me lagai hoti to aaj ye din na dekhna padta.
Tabhi ek ladki ki awaj sunai deti hai jo kahti hai: Ab kya fayda jab chidiya chug gai khet. Ye ladki hai Karan k bhabhi ki bahan jiska nam hai Amulya or waise ye Karan ki classmate bhi hai.
Wo dono bahut gusse bhare najro se use dekhte hai phir Karan bolta hai : musibat me fase hone pe hasne walo ki bat kya kare,
Amu: wo mr mai has nhi rahi balki sabak de rahi hu ,waise kuchh help chahiye to mang sakte ho mai mna nhi karungi.
Raushan Karan se dhire se bolta hai : hame is se programming sikh leni chahiye hme to bas isime problem bhi hai exam k liye.
Karan kuchh sochta hai or phir bolta hai: Thick hai Tum hame ek din ka full time me hame commands sikha sakti ho .
Amu : Yes I will
Karan: phir kal pura din mujhe de sakti ho apna mujhe sikhane me
Amu man me ( main to apni puri jindgi tumhe de di hai ye ek din kya hai )
Karan use hilata hai or : wo madam kha kho gai
Phir Amu hosh me ate hue: yeah sure kal se suru karte hai.

hero ke maa baap ki mout ho shuki hai..
or joint family me uske uncul aunty or bhai bhabhi ke sath rehta hai..
bhabhi ki bahen to karan se pyaar hai shayad par karan ke dil me aisa kuch nahi hai..

Awesome update and nice writing skill..​

 

[Vkmax]

Dost achha likhte ho. Lekin phir bhi kuchh sujhav Dena chahunga. Aap dialogue aur narration ek sath Mila dete ho. Isse readers Ko problem Hoti hai. Jahan se dialogue shuru Karen wahan se double koma" Laga dein aur Jahan ant Karen wahan bhi.
Har character ka dialogue alag line mein likhe chahen uska dialogue ek hi word ka kyun na ho.
Suppose that, hero kehta hai - "tum kal party mein chalogi?"

Heroin - "nahi...."

Hero - "kyun? Tumhe to partiyan bahut pasand hai."

Heroin - "Han,...Magar mujhe kuchh kaam hai."

Etc. I hope aap samajh Gaye honge. Iss tarah se readers Ko padhne mein asaani rahti hai. Aur updates bhi thoda bada dene ki koshish Karen.

Thanks for your suggestions next time improvement done

 

[Vkmax]

UPDATE 4


" Pls maintain silence otherwise I through out all the students from class" ye bat ek professor ne gusse me pure class ko boli
( Ye class thi graduation k 1st year ki jiske students the Karan or Raushan )
Sabhi students ye sun ne k bad attentive mode me aa jate hai , is class me koi aisa bhi tha jo bilkul hi alag duniya me tha sabse alag khoya sa
Tabhi us student k chehre par aake ek sketch pen lagti hai or wo student idhar dekhta hai or kuchh bolta us se pahle " agar Dhyan yoga karna hai to yoga camp me baitho yhan nhi ye mera class hai "
Student " sorry sir next time se nhi hoga " uski awaj bilkul hi ruasi ho gayi thi is pahle ki professor kuchh bolte lunch bell baj jati hai sare students compound ki taraf bhag jate hai.

Idhar class me do ladkiya baithe bate kar rahi hai ,

Pahli ladki- Priya pls yar ab to chup ho ja kitna bar bola hai tu kyon us bat ke liye apne dil dukhati hai agar nhi chup hui na tu to main uncle ko phone kar dungi.

Dusri ladki- no Shruti pls aisa mat kar wo aksar mujhe leke paresan rahte hai ,dekh I am ok and fine.

Uske baad wo dono whan se nikal k canteen ki or chal deti hai or ek table pe baith jati or kuchh snacks order deti hai ki pichhe se kuchh ladke " kya mal hai yar kya gajab lag rahi hai, "

Ye bat un dono ko bhi sunai deti hai lekin wo ise ignore kar apne khane pe dhyan deti hai lekin unme se ek ladka aakar k Shruti ka hath pakad leta hai or bolta hai" ye hamari hath se bhi kha lo janeman zindagi ka maza dugna ho jayega"

Is se pahle wo kuchh bolta us ke gal pe karara thappad ake padta hai or dekhta hai to wo ek ladki thi " maza to tera ab main dugna karne wali hun ,itna maza dungi ki aaj k bad tu maza k liye rota phirega " uske bad wo ladki us ladke ko apne cricket bat se marne lagti hai wo ladka bhagne lagta hai tabhi uske sare dost bhi uski madad ko age ane lagte hai jo charo taraf se us ladki ko gher lete hai jise dekh wo ladki dar jati hai .

Tabhi unsabhi ladko me se ek ladka abhi age badh hi rha tha ki ek awaj pichhe se ati hai" are ye to na insafi hai tumlog 4 or wo 1 aise kaise hoga " ( ye awaj kisi or ki nhi balki Karan ki thi)

Ye sunkar unme se ek ladka bolta hai " to aaja tere sath bhi insaf kar deta hu , bahut dino se hatho me khujli ho rahi thi aaj dur ho jayegi"

Karan - thick hai bhai dur kar lena main itch-guard lakar de dunga lekin abhi ka bolo

Dusra ladka- abhi to ya to tu reng k jayega ya let kar

Karan: dekho dosto main koi fighter to hu nhi ki ek sath tumlogo ko mar saku lekin tumlogo rokne ilaj hai mere pass wo dekho

Karan k ishare wale jagah pe jab wo dekhte hai unki dhua nikal jati hai kyoki samne raushan baithkar video bna rha tha jise dekh kar wo wha se bhag nikalne me hi apni bhalai samjhte hai.

Karan wha se jane lagta hai ki ek awaj uske kadmo ko rok deti hai " thanks for the support"

Karan jab pichhe mudkar dekhta hai to wo bilkul hi hairan ho jata hai ye or koi wahi ladki thi Karan jise Mandir me dekha tha ( or ye ladki hai Priya jo Shruti ki friend hai or jab wo washroom jati hai tabhi wo ladke use chhed rahe the)

Karan - it's ok ( hadbadate hue)

Priya :- not it's ok , welcome bola jata hai but anyway I am Priya
( Hath milane k liye hath age karte hue)
Karan:- I am Karan ( hath milate hue)

Priya :- tum bhi 1st year ho na

Karan :- ha tum bhi ( questions mode me)

Priya:- yeah of course by the way is se milo ye meri friend Shruti

( Karan Shruti uske bad ik dusre ko hi hello karte hai iske sath hi Karan raushan ka bhi sabse intro karata hai)

 

[Naik]

UPDATE 4


" Pls maintain silence otherwise I through out all the students from class" ye bat ek professor ne gusse me pure class ko boli
( Ye class thi graduation k 1st year ki jiske students the Karan or Raushan )
Sabhi students ye sun ne k bad attentive mode me aa jate hai , is class me koi aisa bhi tha jo bilkul hi alag duniya me tha sabse alag khoya sa
Tabhi us student k chehre par aake ek sketch pen lagti hai or wo student idhar dekhta hai or kuchh bolta us se pahle " agar Dhyan yoga karna hai to yoga camp me baitho yhan nhi ye mera class hai "
Student " sorry sir next time se nhi hoga " uski awaj bilkul hi ruasi ho gayi thi is pahle ki professor kuchh bolte lunch bell baj jati hai sare students compound ki taraf bhag jate hai.

Idhar class me do ladkiya baithe bate kar rahi hai ,

Pahli ladki- Priya pls yar ab to chup ho ja kitna bar bola hai tu kyon us bat ke liye apne dil dukhati hai agar nhi chup hui na tu to main uncle ko phone kar dungi.

Dusri ladki- no Shruti pls aisa mat kar wo aksar mujhe leke paresan rahte hai ,dekh I am ok and fine.

Uske baad wo dono whan se nikal k canteen ki or chal deti hai or ek table pe baith jati or kuchh snacks order deti hai ki pichhe se kuchh ladke " kya mal hai yar kya gajab lag rahi hai, "

Ye bat un dono ko bhi sunai deti hai lekin wo ise ignore kar apne khane pe dhyan deti hai lekin unme se ek ladka aakar k Shruti ka hath pakad leta hai or bolta hai" ye hamari hath se bhi kha lo janeman zindagi ka maza dugna ho jayega"

Is se pahle wo kuchh bolta us ke gal pe karara thappad ake padta hai or dekhta hai to wo ek ladki thi " maza to tera ab main dugna karne wali hun ,itna maza dungi ki aaj k bad tu maza k liye rota phirega " uske bad wo ladki us ladke ko apne cricket bat se marne lagti hai wo ladka bhagne lagta hai tabhi uske sare dost bhi uski madad ko age ane lagte hai jo charo taraf se us ladki ko gher lete hai jise dekh wo ladki dar jati hai .

Tabhi unsabhi ladko me se ek ladka abhi age badh hi rha tha ki ek awaj pichhe se ati hai" are ye to na insafi hai tumlog 4 or wo 1 aise kaise hoga " ( ye awaj kisi or ki nhi balki Karan ki thi)

Ye sunkar unme se ek ladka bolta hai " to aaja tere sath bhi insaf kar deta hu , bahut dino se hatho me khujli ho rahi thi aaj dur ho jayegi"

Karan - thick hai bhai dur kar lena main itch-guard lakar de dunga lekin abhi ka bolo

Dusra ladka- abhi to ya to tu reng k jayega ya let kar

Karan: dekho dosto main koi fighter to hu nhi ki ek sath tumlogo ko mar saku lekin tumlogo rokne ilaj hai mere pass wo dekho

Karan k ishare wale jagah pe jab wo dekhte hai unki dhua nikal jati hai kyoki samne raushan baithkar video bna rha tha jise dekh kar wo wha se bhag nikalne me hi apni bhalai samjhte hai.

Karan wha se jane lagta hai ki ek awaj uske kadmo ko rok deti hai " thanks for the support"

Karan jab pichhe mudkar dekhta hai to wo bilkul hi hairan ho jata hai ye or koi wahi ladki thi Karan jise Mandir me dekha tha ( or ye ladki hai Priya jo Shruti ki friend hai or jab wo washroom jati hai tabhi wo ladke use chhed rahe the)

Karan - it's ok ( hadbadate hue)

Priya :- not it's ok , welcome bola jata hai but anyway I am Priya
( Hath milane k liye hath age karte hue)
Karan:- I am Karan ( hath milate hue)

Priya :- tum bhi 1st year ho na

Karan :- ha tum bhi ( questions mode me)

Priya:- yeah of course by the way is se milo ye meri friend Shruti

( Karan Shruti uske bad ik dusre ko hi hello karte hai iske sath hi Karan raushan ka bhi sabse intro karata hai)

Bahot badhiya
Shaandaar update bhai

 

[Aakash.]

Hello everyone.

We are Happy to present to you The annual story contest of XForum

"The Ultimate Story Contest" (USC).

---

Jaisa ki aap sabko maloom hai abhi pichhle hafte hi humne USC ki announcement ki hai or abhi kuch time pehle Rules and Queries thread bhi open kiya hai or Chit Chat thread toh pehle se hi Hind section mein khula hai.

Well iske baare mein thoda aapko bata dun ye ek short story contest hai jisme aap kisi bhi prefix ki short story post kar sakte ho, jo minimum 700 words and maximum 7000 words (Story ke words count karne ke liye is tool ka use kare — Characters Tool) . Isliye main aapko invitation deta hun ki aap is contest mein apne khayaalon ko shabdon kaa roop dekar isme apni stories daalein jisko poora XForum dekhega, Ye ek bahot accha kadam hoga aapke or aapki stories ke liye kyunki USC ki stories ko poore XForum ke readers read karte hain.. Aap XForum ke sarvashreshth lekhakon mein se ek hain. aur aapki kahani bhi bahut acchi chal rahi hai. Isliye hum aapse USC ke liye ek chhoti kahani likhne ka anurodh karte hain. hum jaante hain ki aapke paas samay ki kami hai lekin iske bawajood hum ye bhi jaante hain ki aapke liye kuch bhi asambhav nahi hai.

Aur jo readers likhna nahi chahte woh bhi is contest mein participate kar sakte hain "Best Readers Award" ke liye. Aapko bas karna ye hoga ki contest mein posted stories ko read karke unke upar apne views dene honge.

Winning Writer's ko well deserved Awards milenge, uske alawa aapko apna thread apne section mein sticky karne ka mouka bhi milega taaki aapka thread top par rahe uss dauraan. Isliye aapsab ke liye ye ek behtareen mouka hai XForum ke sabhi readers ke upar apni chhaap chhodne ka or apni reach badhaane kaa.. Ye aap sabhi ke liye ek bahut hi sunehra avsar hai apni kalpanao ko shabdon ka raasta dikha ke yahan pesh karne ka. Isliye aage badhe aur apni kalpanao ko shabdon mein likhkar duniya ko dikha de.

Entry thread 7th February ko open hoga matlab aap 7 February se story daalna shuru kar sakte hain or woh thread 25th February tak open rahega is dauraan aap apni story post kar sakte hain. Isliye aap abhi se apni Kahaani likhna shuru kardein toh aapke liye better rahega.

Aur haan! Kahani ko sirf ek hi post mein post kiya jaana chahiye. Kyunki ye ek short story contest hai jiska matlab hai ki hum kewal chhoti kahaniyon ki ummeed kar rahe hain. Isliye apni kahani ko kayi post / bhaagon mein post karne ki anumati nahi hai. Agar koi bhi issue ho toh aap kisi bhi staff member ko Message kar sakte hain.


Story se related koi doubt hai to iske liye is thread ka use kare — Chit Chat Thread

Kisi bhi story par apna review post karne ke liye is thread ka use kare — Review Thread

Rules check karne ke liye is thread ko dekho — Rules & Queries Thread

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Prizes

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Members reporting CnP Stories with Valid Proof	200 Likes for each report

Regards :- XForum Staff

 

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Ye story phir se suru kar rha hu pls support

 

[Vkmax]

UPDATE 5


" Ye tu khana kyon nahi kha rha abhi tak, tabiyat sahi nhi hai kya teri " ye bat Raushan ne Karan se puchha.


Karan - Nahi yar is khane me swad hi nhi milta ,kya Karu kisi tarah pet bharna hota hai bhookh to lagi nhi hai.


Raushan - Dekh Bhai Teri bhukh us ladki ko dekh kar hi mit gayi hai , mujhe sab pta hai or agar nind bhi nahi aa rahi to tu jag wo light off karde kyoki mujhe Sona hai.


Next day


" Tu meri sunti nahi hai na isliye bar-bar problem me ati hai or phir baithke roti hai" ye bat Shruti ne Priya ko bola.


Priya - Dekh agar ham log undono ko apne group me shamil kar le to kitna accha hoga ,hamlog ka group bhi bda ho jayega and clg me kisi na kisi se frendship to karni padegi na.


Shruti - But Priya wo log unknown hai hamare liye or ek chhoti si help ke Karan hum unpe trust nhi kar sakte or ho sakta hai ye unki koi chal ho.


Priya - are meri maa tujhe kitni bar bola hai ye real life hai ,Teri fiction books nhi jisme ye sab hota hai,dekh ek do din observe karte hai phir decide karte hai,ok ab khush.


Shruti - Bahut khush.


Wo dono bate karti Hui class me aa jati jha unhe Karan or raushan dikhte hai Jo apni hi duniya me mashgul hai.


" Silence and attention" ek tej awaj gunjti hai or ye awaj thi clg ke principal ki Jo abhi just class me enter hue the


Principal - Hello student aapko PTA hoga ye humara clg best education and discipline ke liye Jana jata hai,or Mera manana hai ki best discipline hi best education ka base hai,so we don't tolerate any bad and indiscipline behaviour.


Ye sari orientation ya lecture pure adhe ghante tak class me chalta hai uske baad ek do lectures or hote hai then lunch ho jata hai or sabhi students class se bahar nikalne lagte hai.


" Dekh Priya tune suna na kitne strict hai ye log discipline ko leke so pls don't create any scene yaar" ye bat Shruti Priya ko samjha Rahi thi.


Priya - wo Papa ki chamchi mujhe mat samjha tujhe PTA hai main bewajah gussa nhi karti,are ye dono kab nikle ( pichhe mudke dekhne k bad )


Shruti - jab tu mujhe suna Rahi thi tab kyon, dekh Rahi hu tu kuchh jyada hi dhyan de Rahi hai unpe kya bat hai?


Priya - Bat kya hai kuchh nhi bas aise hi ,chal canteen chalte hai.


Wo dono canteen aa jati hai or lunch karne lag jati hai. Phir uske kuchh der bad hi Karan or raushan bhi canteen me aa jate hai wo Priya ko dekhte hai or hi karte hai jispe Priya in dono ko baithne ko bolti hai jiske bad wo log bhi unko table pe join karte hai.


Raushan - waise aap log yha ke local ho ya bahar se aye ho , I mean aap dono ka ghar yhi pe hai.


Shruti ( ghurte hue)- kyu Voting card banwane ka irada hai kya aapko humara .


Raushan - ji nhi main to bas aise just normal things.


Shruti - Normal things me or bate hoti hai janab .


Karan ( bich me tokte ) - Can I say something?


Shruti and Priya - yeah sure


Karan - let me clear the things, aap logo k bato se lag raha hai aap log hame galat samjh Rahi hai so I clearly tell you, we don't have any wrong intention regarding you both .


Priya - dekhiye Aisa kuchh nhi But hum log just,


Karan ( bich me tokte hue ) - dekhiye madam agar aapko lagta hum chhote sahro k log aap log jaiso k sath bat karne ko mare ja rahe to ,then you getting wrong and ek bat or Agar phir bhi aapko hum pe bharosa nhi hai to hum aap logo se bate nhi karenge,nahi hamre taraf se koi hint jayega iske liye.


Phir iske bad itna bolkar Karan or Raushan dono uth kar wha se chale jate hai or undono ko jate hue Priya or Shruti dono dekhti rahti hai.


" Tu kuchh jyada hi overreact nhi kar gaya tha aaj" Raushan Karan ko bolte hue


Karan - Dekh kuchh jagho pe chup rahna bhi apne character pe shak paida karwana hota hai , or koi is tarah ke galat samjhe to main chup rahne wala nhi tujhe PTA hai.


Raushan - are Bhai main to ye bol raha tha ki itna serious hone ki kya jarurat thi. Ok chal ab so jate hai kal clg bhi to Jana hai.


Iske bad Karan or Raushan apne room so jate hai.


Next Day


" Ye Jo bhi scene create hua hai na iski sari jimmedari Teri hai ,mujhe samajh nhi tu apna Shak karne wala behaviour kab badlegi" Priya Shruti ko tane marti class me baithkar


Shruti - Dekh Priya mujhe itna pta hai ki itni jaldi kisipe trust nhi karna chahiye sare ladke ek jaise hote hai.


Tabhi undono ki najar class me ate Karan or Raushan pe padti hai, Priya kuchh kahna chahti hai but wo dono unlogo ko ignore karte hue age bad jate hai.


Priya apne man hi man bahut udas ho jati hai par kuchh bolti nhi chup - chap lecture attend karne lag jati hai.


(Lunch time canteen baithe baithe )

Priya - Shruti Bahut badi galti ho gayi hai meri samjh se , itna rude bhi nhi hona chahiye tha hame .


Shruti - jyada tu soch mat mere pass ek idea hai ,jiske bad ye dono ki narajgi pal me dur ho jayegi.


Priya - kya idea hai pls mujhe bhi bata .


( Uske bad Shruti Priya ko kan me kuchh kahti hai jiske bad dono muskurahat ke sath apne Ghar ko nikal jati hai)

 

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Pls keep supporting and comment

 

[Mahreen Khan]

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