Incest Albela
- Thread starterDEVIL MAXIMUM
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ckkhandu
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ckkhandu
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aur aise hi ek story padhi thi mane magar uske sirf 12 update the aur fir update nahi aaye aur story bandh kardi gayi thi but is story me fully changed hay aur ye story us story se badhke hay keep it up bro 
_ABHAY_Smarty_
Ne dis jamais que je t'aime
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Kaisi gandi bate karte ho ju, apan seedha aadmihai man.
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Ash Mishra
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Ash Mishra
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ye baat apne bilkul sahi kahi or yahi to main chta hun sandhya ko pata chale ki saga beta kone hai or jab usko aman palt kr jawab to wo bhi krara to use ye pata chale ki usne apna pyaar kis pr lutna tha or kis luta kr galti ki wo scene kamal hoga
_ABHAY_Smarty_
Ne dis jamais que je t'aime
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Tareef krne ka trika kafi intresting hai aapkaKuch bolunga to vivad ho jayega.... DEVIL MAXIMUM bhai Aapki writting wakai laa jawaab hai jaise hi yeh baat mai sochta hu aap hug dete ho....
pichli story mai bhi aapko btaya tha... Thoda logic se bahar ho rahi hai... Kaafi jaldi jaldi bhaag Rahi thi... Iss baar aapse better ummed thi jo ki hai better pehle se but kuch points hai jo sach mai itne confusing hai ki pucho mat....
chalo review ki taraf chalta hun...
1... Story ki starting mai hero apni maa ko apne chacha ke saath dekh leta hai aur woh ghar se bhaag jaata hai... / Yaha maa ka character negetive ho gya but but aapne twist add Kiya ki usko dawa di gayi hosh mai nahi jiss wajah se usko pata nahi uske saath kya hua...
but conversation ka kya jo uske chacha ke saath hua thi... Jisme woh kehti hai
"बस हो गया तेरा
अब जा अपने कमरे में। आज जो हुआ मैं नही चाहती की कीसी को कुछ पता चले।"
"जरा छुप कर जाना, और ध्यान से गलती से भी अभय के कमरे की तरफ से मत जाना समझे।
Kisi ne aapke nashe mai hone ka fayda uthaya hai aur aap usko maarne ki jagah Escape route bata rahi ho... Uske baad bhi apna ullu seedha krne ki koshish...
woh sab chodo abhi bhi uske saath rehna usko kuch na kehna... :_ Abhay ko samjhna ki jo usne dekha woh galat hua uske saath... Mai nirdosh hun...
Can writer explain kaise Abhay ko Lage ki theek hai aapko lage ki theek hai... Jo hua dhokhe mai hua...
2... Kisi ko mat batana Mai Abhay Singh Thakur hun... ?????
writer mahoday btayen kon reh gaya hai jisko nahi pata ki Jo Ladka Hostle mai reh raha woh Abhay nahi hai Gaon mai kon reh gaya hai... Fir bhi yeh term baar baar bola jaa raha abhi kisi ko mat batana , abhi kisi ko mat batana...
hero khud dhindora Peet raha hai har kisi chalo do update pehle laga tha ki kam se kam shakk mai apne chacha ko rakha hua ki koi aur ho sakta hai magar muneem ko batane ke baad baad jab usne bola na kisi ko mat batana...
fuuu... Baaki main Do point ko highlights kiya hai maine bhai poora karunga toh update ho jayega...
Writer mahoday se nivedan hai Review ko negetive na le balki g mai lemajak kar raha hun... Bass ek baar next update likhne se pehle poori story aap khud padhe aapko kaafi flaws nazar aa jaynge... Uske baad hi aage likhe yehi suggestion hai meri tarf se toh...
isme ek point aur add karunga ki thoda realistic rakho jisse reader connect kar paaye story ko aise hi ghuss kar 60 bande mat maar do... Woh bhi aadhe se kam update mai...Thoda logic add Karo baaki writing top notch hai story aachi hai bass narration mai gadbad hai....
hope aap dil per loge iss cheez qyunki aapka dil bada ho...
agle review mera tareefon se bhar dunga mai yeh flow Kam hue toh...
till then... Sayonara
Direct mujhe bolne ke bajay bhadaas character per nikal rhe ho
.
Lekin ye characters to meri upj hai story me inko kho ya mujhe bat to same hai na
.
Aapko reply Dene ka sirf ek he vjh hai mere paass ye aapke leye pehla or aakhri reply hai
.
Umeed hai aapko bat smj aay ho to dobara shyd na dikho baki aap samajdaar to bahut jada ho ye aapne apne comment me bata dia hai
.
One again
THANK YOU SO MUCH _ABHAY_Smarty_
VengefulDevelopment
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