Thriller ATMAKAMI . . . . . . ability or disorder?

[The Immortal]

Update-39

“According to second law of friendynamics… at standard temperatre & pressure(STP), your friend’s girlfriend is equal to your sister and you must have to respect and love her(non-incest) unless you become fucking frustrated…after that you can even ** her…….….but from mouth….”
“wow…kyun hoon main itna talented… let’s take a bow ”
Mere dwara friendynamic ka second law banane tak Varun aur Sonam ki is party me ab bahut jyada log aa chuke the aur main bhi full taiyar hokar abhi bahar hee aaya tha…maine dekha ki party me lagbhag wo sabhi log mauzood the jinhe main janta tha…yani ki David…Shipra…Sonam…Nisha aur Varun ke kuch dost jo ki ek-do baar flat me aaye the…kahne ko toh main bahut logo ko janta tha lekin phhir bhi main bahut akela mahsoos kar raha tha aur mujhe rah-rah kar mere college ki farewell party yaad aa rahi thi…jisme Rajshri Pandey ne meri thali se rasgulla nikal kar kha liya tha…farewell party ko yaad karne se mera mann kiya ki lawda,abhich anchoring kar maru, jaisa ki maine apne farewell party me kiya tha, jisme meri welcome speech kuch aisi thi….
Quote:
"Gentlemen and gentlewomen....tum log soch rahe hoge ki main ab ek shaleen bhara, swachh bhashad prastut karunga...jisme main tum logo ka aabhar vyakt karunga ki aap log yaha aaye, isliye dhanyavaad....yadi tum sab aisa sochate ho to ,bhool jao, kyunki main aisa kuch bhi nahi bolne wala aur main kahe tum ko logo thanks bolu be....ek to free ka khana khaoge, seetiya maroge, langar dance karke pure karyakram ki aisi-taisi karoge...upar se tum sab ye apeksha rakhte ho ki main tum logo ka shukriya ada karu....ladkiyo ka to khair main bahut aadar karta hoon isliye sabke saamne unhe kuchh nahi bolunga ,lekin ladko...tum log apna kaan khol kar sun lo aur yadi jaroorat ho to kuch aur bhi khol kar sun sakte ho...lekin dhyan se sunna....tum me se bahut aise honge, jo khud ko bahut bada cool dude, funny samajhte hai ,jo programme ke beech-beech me muh me dono hath rakhkar chillate hai, comments pass karte hai, un logo ne yadi aisa kuchh bhi kiya...to beta, mujhe jaha dikhoge ,wahi par marunga aur langar dance to bilkul hee ban hai...i hate langar dance. Ye aaj ke function ke terms & conditions hai , yadi manzoor ho toh i agree ka button daba kar join kar lo...warna khisak lo....nahi to main baal pakad kar ghaseetate-ghaseetate le jaunga....."
Quote:
"lagta hai, tum logo ne dil pe liya...main to aise hee mazak kar raha tha, dar-asal ye script me tha....aur mujhe kaha gaya tha ki main ekdum tevar me tum log ko dhamkaun....to kaisi lagi meri acting"
Mere mann me aaya ki farewell party wali speech main yaha bhi thok du…lekin phhir jab waha mauzood logo ko dekha toh laga ki rahne deta hoon…waise anchoring se yaad aaya ki kaise Esha farewell ke din mujhse sex karne ko utaru ho gayi thi…kya maal thi..us-se toh main left side se pyar karta tha…sala Gautam…madarchod…..madarchod nahi Maadharchod… thoda vazandar gali…
“hey bro…”mere college farewell ki yaadon me khatas dalte hue mere hee umra ke ek ladke ne mujhse hath milaya aur mujhse jabarpeli ka gale lagte hue bola
“bro…mera name Vivek hai…yo…main medical shop chalata hoon…meri dukaan tumne dekhi hogi yahi colony se thodi door me hai...”
“ main faltu ki chizo par dhyan nahi deta”
“yo bro…par meri medical shop se Sanjeevani clinic bhi attached hai…jaha mere bade bhai doctor hai…yo..”
“toh tu mujhe kyun irritate kar raha hai ye sab bata ke…”khisyate hue main bola…
“aisi baat nahi hai bro…”
“dekh be… yadi tune ek aur baar…. Bro…yo bro…kaha toh main wo samne wali beer ki botal lunga aur use tere pichhwade me dalkar…us botal me ek laat kheechkar marunga…tu ja na apna kaam kar…ek toh waise hee mera sar ghoom raha hai…upar se tu apni aisi taisi kara raha hai…”
“bro…tumhara sar ghoom raha hai…”kahkar usne turant apni jeb me hath dala aur ek tablet mujhe dekar bola “isko kha lo…”
Maine ek baar usko upar se neeche dekha aur socha ki iska kya karu…is-se chhutkara kaise paun…iske muh me mukka maar du…ya iske khopdi me apni khopdi de maru ya phhir ise lund fek ke maru….lekin phhir mujhe ek aur raasta soojha aur maine chup chap uski tablet li aur use badi shaleenta ke sath‘excuse me’ bolkar waha se khisak liya…
“sala kya ajeeb chipku tha…bro…yo bro…bolkar dimag ka dhokla bana diya…ek aur minute uske sath rahta toh dimag ki nashe fat jati….kaise-kaise log hai is duniya me…I hate everyone”
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“Arman……idhar aa”
“ab kaun hai be…”palatkar maine dekha… “ye toh Varun hai…par ye mujhe kyun bula raha hai…”
“aana..champagne beer kholni hai”
“toh khol lena…mujhe kyun bula raha hai…”
Jiske baad Varun ne mujhe ghoor kar dekha aur na chahte hue bhi mujhe waha jaana pada…waha is samay Varun ke paas kuch khas hee log the…baki sab thoda door khade hokar champagne khulne ka intezar kar rahe the…Nisha, Shipra… Sonam ke bagal me khadi thi aur main ,Varun ke bagal me khada tha, mujhe nahi maloom ki kyun par mujhe is samay bahut insult wali feeling aa rahi thi…lekin tabhi waha wo medical shop wala launda aa gaya…jisne thodi der pahle..bro…bro karke mera dimag kha liya tha…
“hey bro…”mujhe kohni markar wo bola
“main teri gand mar lunga yadi tune mujhe dobara touch bhi kiya toh…ya phhir mujhse baat bhi ki toh…lawda, bahut der se bardasht kar raha hoon tujhe…ab yadi tune ek aur shabd bhi bola toh teri gand me danda dalkar 1000 R.P.M. ki speed se danda ghumaunga…”
“Arman ,ye kya bol raha hai tu…”dheere-dheere apna daant peeste hue Varun bola
“Vivek dost hai mera…tu us-se aise baat nahi kar sakta…”
“toh usko bol ki mujhse baat hee na kare…simple”
“Vivek ,tu abhi chup rah…main baad me tujhse milta hoon…”
“ok…Varun bro…”bolkar Vivek waha se door hat gaya aur Vivek ke waha se jaane ke baad Varun ne Sonam ke sath milkar champagne beer kholi….sale gay
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champagne khulne ke ek ghante ke baad hee waha mauzood har shaks chala gaya tha…siway kuch logo ko chhodkar….jo shayad Sonam…Nisha…Shipra aur David the…shayad isiliye main is waqt flat ke andar nahi balki chhat par daru aur beer ki botal lekar baitha hua tha aur andar chal rahe hasi Mazak se main beech-beech me andaza laga raha tha ki…andar kaun-kaun hai….Chhat par is samay pel ke andhera tha aur kyunki mujhe andhera bahut pasand tha isliye main aksar raat ko daru yahi piya karta tha…jiske karan meri assumption itni strong ho gayi thi ki main andhere me bhi peg bana liya karta tha….
“kya be,Arman…teri koyi izzat-vizzat hai ki nahi…Varun ne itna bada faisla le liya aur tujhe bataya tak nahi…tu kahe toh pel du sale ko…”peg banate hue maine khud se pucha aur peg banane ke baad khud ko jawab dete hue bola…
“usne bataya tha mujhe…par mujhe yaad hee nahi raha…main toh yahi soch raha tha ki meri naukri lagne ki khushi me party di ja rahi hai…”
“offer ab bhi khula hai…tu kahe toh pel du…”
“rahne de…wo toh main bhi kar sakta hoon…”
“waise ek baat bata…ye David kab se Varun ka itna acha dost ban gaya…jo ab tak tere flat me ruka hua hai…kahi Varun aur David gay toh nahi hai…jaise tu aur Arun the…”
“tu in logo ki tulna Arun se kar raha hai…? ”
“sorry...3.0 , Arun was classy…lekin tujhe kya hua..tere samne David , Nisha se ishq ladata hai..dinner me bulakar teri insult karta hai…matlab insult karne ki koshish karta hai aur tu sirf use jaane deta hai…kaha gaya wo Arman…jisne jo hoga dekha jayega bolkar collector ke launde tak ko pel diya tha…ye jante hue bhi ki phhir baad me uski pelayi hogi…kaha gaya wo Arman…jisne Gautam ko hostel me patak-patak ke kutto ki tarah choda tha…ye jante hue bhi ki Gautam shahar ke sabse bade gunde ka beta tha… tu thoda soch aur phhir mujhe jawab de ki kya ab tujhe khud par sharam nahi aati ki tu kya tha aur ab kya ban gaya hai…”
“wo…wo main nahi tha…matlab main tha..lekin ab main wo nahi raha…pichhale ek saal ne mujhe bahut badal diya hai…tum toh lawda kand karke nikal liye…jhelna mujhe pada…wo toh bhala ho ki mujhe Physics me interest tha,isliye main in sabse nikal gaya…warna main aaj khud suicide kar chuka hota…maine pichhale ek saal me physics ki kayi books padhi…physics ke siddhanto ko apne life ke sath interpetate kiya…tab main samjha ki Physics se bada is duniya me koyi nahi….i mean the deeper you go, the deeper it becomes. aur rahi baat meri toh maine wo zindagi jee hai jiske bare me tu soch bhi nahi sakta… tune toh pel ke ayyashi mari aur chala gaya lekin uska anjaam mujhe jhelna pada ”
“main chala gaya…? Main ab bhi yahi hoon..aur tu kahe toh tujhe iska proof bhi dikha sakta hoon…”
“dikha proof…”
“phhir kamar kas le bidu…par starting tu karna…baki main sambhal lunga…toh chale..”
“chal…”bolkar maine aakhiri peg mara aur hilte-dulte hue khada hua….
“chalo phhir…aaj in sabki pond marte hai…”

 

[The Immortal]

Update 40

Pahle toh maine socha ki normal tarike se normal raaste se yaani ki seehiyo se neeche jaun…lekin phhir maine plan badal diya aur chhat se latak kar seedhe balcony me kooda..jiske karan waha bahut tez aawaz hui aur room me mauzood har ek shaks us aawaz se thodi der ke liye kanp gaya…lekin jab un logo ne mujhe dekha toh hasne lage…
“jyada pee li hai kya be…”mere balcony me koodne ke baad David ne mujhse kaha…
“sorry…David Sir…”
Iske baad maine kuch nahi kaha aur chup chap wahi unke paas me jakar baith gaya…maine waha baithe har ek shaks ka co-ordinate apne dimag me set kiya …Sonam as expected…Varun ka hath pakad kar baithi hui thi aur Nisha ,David ke bagal me thi…baki sab toh shant the lekin David politics ke bare me apna gyan chod raha tha…jaise ki 1947 ke pahle kya-kya hua tha…aur isi dauran wo Gandhi ji ki pelam-pel burayi karne laga…jiske baad main waha se utha aur fridge me se ek beer nikal kar wapas waha aaya jaha sablog baithe hue the….maine muh se beer ka dhakkan khola aur dhakkan seedhe David ke ke upar muh se hee fek diya….jiske baad waha mauzood sabhi log mujhe ghoor kar dekhne lage…yaha tak ki Varun aur Nisha bhi….lekin maine un sabko ignore kiya aur wahi khade hokar beer peene lag gaya aur phhir beer ka ek ghoot muh me bharkar Varun ke upar pichkari marte hue bola….
“tum jaise log jo Gandhi ji ki burayi karte hai, wo char kaudi ke log hote hai aur do kaudi ki baate karte hai…tujhe pata bhi hai ki tu kiski burayi kar raha hai…Mahatma Gandhi ki…mana ki unse kuch galtiya hui…lekin wo toh sabhi se hoti hai…Gandhi ji ko aur unke motives ko samjho… na ki is Shipra ki tarah ratta maro…sale, Madarchodo…”
“teri himmat kaise hui…mujh par thookne ki…you motherfucker”aakrosh me aakar khada hote hue David cheekha aur jaise hee wo khada hua maine beer ki botal uske sar me fod di….
“neeche baith…Maaadharchod….bahut din se tujhe dekh raha hoon,lawda… main kuch bolta nahi iska matlab ye nahi ki main kuch janta nahi…kyunki main kuch bolne ke bajay kuch karne me yakin rakhta hoon ”ye kahkar maine ek mukka kaskar David ke pet me mara, jiske baad wo apna pet pakad kar wahi baith gaya….aur dard se rone laga….
Ye David ka haal tha…lekin waha mauzood baki logo ka haal David se bhi bura ho chala tha…Shipra toh dar ke mare Nisha ke peeche chhup gayi thi…baki bache teen log…Varun ,Sonam aur Nisha…wo is waqt mujhse dar bhi rahe the aur mujhe ghoor bhi rahe the…
“Armaaaaann…what the hell is this…”mujhe jor se dhakka dekar Nisha cheekhi…
“main soch hee raha tha ki ab kiska number lagau…par tune mera kaam aasan kar diya…”Nisha ki taraf badhte hue main muskuraya…lekin main Nisha ke aur karib jata…uske pahle hee Varun ne mujhe pakad liya….
“Arman…tu is waqt hosh me nahi hai…tu chal mere sath…aur Sonam tum David ko sambhalo…uske sar se khoon nikal raha hai…”
“Sonam, yadi tune David ko chhua bhi toh main na teri gand maar dunga…salo Shri Arman ki bezzati karte ho…aaj tumlog ko apna real version dikhata hoon…Varun tu hat be..”
“Arman…Sonam meri girlfriend hai…tu us-se aise baat nahi kar sakta”
“teri girlfriend hai toh kya…tu us-se mere sar me mootwayega…Sonam ko chhod yadi tune bhi David ki koyi help ki toh main tere sath bhi wahi karunga…”
“Nisha…wo us almirah me first aid ka box hai…tum David ki help karo…main Arman ko sambhalta hoon….”bolkar Varun ne mujhe peeche se pakda aur pakad kar waha se door le jaane laga…
“tu mujhe sambhalega…chhod mujhe…abey chhod…teri toh…chhod de, main bol raha hoon ki mujhe chhod de…ye sala…Varun me mujhse jyada dum kabse aa gaya…main khud ko chhuda hee nahi pa raha…”khud ko Varun ke changul se chhudane ki koshish karte hue main badbadaya…
Isi beech Nisha almirah se first aid ka box nikal layi aur dard se karahte David ke paas pahuchi…
“iski maa ka…Varun chhod mujhe… aaj is rakhail ko bhi thik karta hoon.. bahut dimag khati hai ye… BC ne pagal kar diya hai ye puchh-puchh ke ki main kaisi dikh rahi hoon… meri dress kaisi hai… mera hairband kaisa hai… meri sandel kaisi hai.… phhir mujhe apne aur David ki kahani sunayegi… mere same kisi aur ki taarif karegi… yadi itna hee pasand hai tujhe David toh ,ja usi ka lund le le… phhir mere paas kyun aati hai… Sali rakhail aur Varun, tu mujhe chhodega ki nahi be”
“Arman…nahi…tu pagal ho gaya hai abhi…”
“abhi toh main thik hua hoon…tu mujhe chhodega ya nahi”
“nahi…”
“le phhir…”
Maine apna sharir aage ki taraf karke kisi spring ke mafiq pel ke potential energy store ki aur phhir puri taqat jhok di Varun ko peeche dhakelne me…jiska nateeza ye hua ki hum dono ki peechhe deewar se jordar takkar hui…Varun ke aage rahne ke karan main toh phhir bhi thik tha…lekin Varun…uska sar peeche ki deewar se ja takraya aur wo bhi David ki tarah dharashahi ho gaya….jiske baad main utha aur Varun ke sar se khoon nikalta dekh bola…
“yahi hota hai Sher aur uske shikar ke beech me ungali karne se…ab pada rah aise hee… 8th Semester ki puri kahani sunne ke baad bhi tu mere beech me aaya…tune kya socha tha ki Arman teri baat maan jayega… sale aukat me rah aur bhool mat ki kya haisiyat thi teri mere saamne…bosdiwale ”
“tumhari himmat kaise hui…”tarrate hue Sonam mere paas aayi aur mujhe marne ke liye apna hath uthane hee wali thi ki maine uska hath pakda aur uthakar Varun ki taraf fek diya….
“ab ye mujhe chodna sikhayenge… Friendynamic ke law ne mere hath baandh rakhe hai warna main tujhe achchhe se batata ki meri himmat kaise hui… randi Sali… paise lekar lund choosne wali… tujhse toh main baad me niptunga.. tu rook do minute abhi”
Sonam ko fekne ke baad maine flat ka room andar se lock karke chabhi apne jeb me dal li aur sabka mobile chheenkar balcony me fek diya .yaha tak ki apna bhi…pata nahi kyun par maine apna mobile bhi balcony me fek diya. Shayad flow-flow me fek diya hoga…anyway uske baad maine balcony ke gate ko bhi lock kiya aur chabhi apne jeb me dal li….yani ki ab mere kaand karne ki ideal situations thi . bole toh no external disturbance….mere bistar par apna pet pakad kar rote hue David ka maine pair pakda aur ghaseet kar neeche patak diya aur ek laat use marte hue bola
“kaise be…ab bol…”
“sorry bhai…”hath jodkar vinti karte hue David mere samne gidgidane laga
“kya sorry be…lawde” ek aur laat use pelte hue maine kaha
“sorry…bhai…galti ho gayi mujhse…”
“kyun hoon main itna dayawan…”David ko continueosly marte hue maine kaha “mahan…hone ka… yahi…ek….nuksan…hai… ki main… logo ko… jaan se…nahi… maar pata”
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David ko bharpet marne ke baad maine use wahi chhoda aur Nisha ki taraf badha aur sabse pahle uska baal pakad kar jabaran uske honth par kiss kiya aur phhir bola….
“tum ladkiya jitni bholi ban-ne ka natak karti ho utni tum hoti nahi….tujhe kya lagta hai ki mujhe tere bare me kuch nahi maloom…tujh jaisi ladkiya kisi ek ki nahi ho sakti…college me tune kisi aur se marwayi ,phhir mujhse aur ab David se….”
“David sirf mera dost hai…”ruwasi hokar cheekhte hue Nisha boli….
“yahi bol-bol kar tum ladkiyo ne 90 % laundo ko chutiya bana rakha hai…tu toh mujhse baat karne ke layak hee nahi hai…isliye main tujhse toh baat hee nahi karunga….Sonam…tu kidhar hai... Sali chhinar… paise lekar lund chusne wali..”

 

[The Immortal]

Update 41

“Arman tu use kuch nahi bolega…warna ab main bhi shant nahi rahunga… ”deewar ke sahare khade hokar Varun ne kaha
“ Sonam tu wahi ladki hai na…jo paiso ke liye blow job deti hai…tujhe kya lagta hai ki mujhe tere bare me kuch nahi maloom”
“tu ye kya bol raha hai Arman…”
“mujhe chutiya mat bana Varun…maine Sonam ko tujhse bolte hue suna hai ki yadi tu use diamond ring gift karega toh wo tujhe blow job degi…yani ki tera lawda chusegi… Varun, call recordings could be noxious or even deadly. ”
Ek minute….ye maine kaha…kya sach me maine aisa kaha….ya ye sirf mera vaham hai ki maine aisa kaha….kya ho yadi main kuch der baad khud ko kahi sota hua paun…ya phhir ye bhi toh ho sakta hai ki main ab bhi apne flat ki chhat par baitha daru pee raha hoon aur jyada peene ke karan maine ye story apne aap bana li ho…?kyunki fake story banana me main mahir hoon. Kahi aisa toh nahi ki main koyi sapna dekh raha hoon ya phhir Sharda Vihar ki chair par baithkar main time travel kar raha hoon…afterall maine past toh kayi baar ghoom liya hai aur yadi brain ke through past me jaana possible hai toh phhir future me kyun nahi…..? par yaha ek sawal ya phhir kahe ki sabse aham sawal jo mere saamne aata hai wo ye ki kahi 8th Semester ki jo kahani maine Varun ko sunayi thi yadi uska koyi wazood hee na ho toh ? kya ho agar main kabhi college gaya hee na hoon toh ? kahi mujhpar koyi experiment toh nahi chal raha…..
Yani ki kayi sambhavnaye…mere dimag ko jodti hai un sabhi ghatnao se jo sach bhi ho sakti hai aur jhooth bhi…aur ab mujhe ek baar phhir se yahi lagne laga tha jaise ki mera present mera past hai aur past….future…..confused ? well me too baby…but I’m enjoying it now . because it’s better to enjoy rather than be confused all the time.
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“tumne mujhe samajh kya rakha hai….you son of a bitch…”
ek bahut tez aawaz ne mujhe present me wapas la patka…ya kahe past me ya phhir future me….par us aawaz ne mujhe wahi la patka jaha se maine scene ko adhoora chhoda tha…yani ki Nisha…Sonam…Shipra….Varun…..David aur main ab bhi ek kamre me band the jiski chabhi mere jeb me thi……
“tumne mujhe samajh kya rakha hai….you son of a bitch…”wo ladki phhir se cheekhi aur abki baar itna jor se cheekhi ki mere andar mauzood har ek chiz kanp uthi… mera dil, mera dimag, mere hath-pair… kidney…liver… , mera lund . sab kuch… sab kuch matlab sab kuch.
“ye BC itna kyun cheekh rahi hai…kya isne mujhe bahra samajh rakha hai…oh sorry…yaad aaya ye toh gusse se cheekh rahi hai…”
“tumhara name Sonam hai na ? jo diamonds ke badle blow job deti hai…”
“Arman bahut ho gaya ab…”mere paas aakar mera collar pakad kar Varun ne kaha… “mere ahsaan mat bhool…mat bhool ki pichhale ek saal se jo tu ye ayyashi kar raha hai na…wo sab meri badaulat hee kar raha hai…bhool mat ki yadi main nahi hota toh tu kahi bheekh mang raha hota … meri achchhayi ne mujhe namra rahna sikhaya hai lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki main tujhe koyi jawab nahi de sakta…”
“collar se hath hata be…”Varun ko ek mukka markar door dhakelte hue maine kaha“kaun se ahsaan be…tu pichhale ek saal se mujh par koyi ahsaan nahi kar raha tha…balki mere ahsaan ko utar raha tha…bhool gaya kaise School life me mathematics ke har dusare sawal me teri fat jati thi…jiski baad tu mere paas bhag kar aa jata tha…bhool gaya…kaise meri vazah se Reema tujhse pati thi aur ye sab ko chhod bhi diya jaye….toh yaad dila du ki jab teri behan tere dost ke sath tere ghar me pakdi gayi thi tab maine yani ki Shri Arman ne pure school ke saamne us launde ko mara tha aur phhir pure school ke saamne main maar bhi khaya tha….chal le de ke is mamle ko bhi hata…lekin us ahsaan ke bare me tu kya bolega jo maine tujh par nahi balki tere pure khandan par kiya tha…”
“kaun sa ahsaan…”
“kaun sa ahsaan ? ek minute…”David ke paas jaakar maine ek jhapad David ko mara aur us-se puchha “yaad dila be…kaun sa ahsaan”
“mujhe kaise maloom hoga…”chillate hue David ne turant jawab diya
“Shri Arman se tez aawaz me baat karta hai…teri toh…”ek aur mukka David ke pet me marte hue main peeche palta aur Varun ko dekhkar kaha “wo ahsaan..jab tera bhai tum logo se tang aakar suicide karne chala tha…tab use kisne bachaya tha…bhool gaya kya ? abey maine jitney ahsaan tujh par kiye hai uska yadi main 10 % bhi kisi aur par karta toh wo zindagi bhar mera lund dhokar peeta …aur tu toh mera dost tha…mera khas dost… par tune toh Sonam ke chakkar me mera collar pakad liya… mujhe tum sabse nafrat hai… bosdiwalo… tum sabse ”
Bolte hue main ruka aur phhir jeb se room ki chabhi nikal kar gate khola…main ab samajh gaya tha ki aaj yaha jo kuch bhi hua hai uske baad Varun mere sath nahi rahega…Varun kya nahi rahega…main khud uske sath nahi rahunga….i…i…just hate everyone…maine almirah se apna bag nikala jo ki maine pahle se pack karke rakha hua tha aur waha se jaane laga….
“Arman…toh ye sab tune pahle se plan karke rakha tha…ye sab kuch…isiliye tune apna bag pahle se pack karke rakha tha…main toh ab tak yahi soch raha tha ki ye sab kuch jo yaha ho raha hai , jo tu kar raha hai….wo sab kuch tere jyada sharab peene ki vazah se ho raha hai….”
“aur nahi toh kya…tum logo ne mujhe daru peekar bhokne wala kutta samajh rakha hai kya…tum log mere baare me jo sochte ho wo toh sirf meri beginning hai… meri ending ka toh tum log andaza tak nahi laga sakte… main Physics ki tarah hoon… The Greatest… The Biggest… and The Deepest ”kandhe me bag taangte hue main bola “ Remember Varun…maine kya kaha tha ki…mere sorry bolne ka matlab ye nahi hota ki main apne kiye par sharminda hoon... balki iska matlab ye hota hai ki main tumhe aur bhi sharminda karunga….ye jante hue bhi tune mujhse Sonam ko sorry bulwaya…galti meri nahi thi…galti actual me tum sab ki thi jo mere muh se sorry sunne ke liye itne betaab the…Goodbye and take care……lawdo ”
“par tu jayega kaha….”
“itni fikar hoti toh mujhe apne ahsaan nahi ginata tu aur na hee is do take ki ladki ke chakkar me mera collar pakadta…ab jab sab preplanned hai toh rahne ka bhi kahi jugad kiya hoga maine…bas abhi mujhe yaad nahi hai…lekin jab yaad karunga toh yaad aa jayega…
Aasmano ke falaq par kuch rang aaj bhi baki hai….waisich apun ke dil ke bhi kuch Armaan baki hai…sorry it’s A-R-M-A-N…. jo main pure karne ja raha hoon ”
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Itna bolkar main waha se chal diya…Kitna acha hota yadi ye sab nahi hua hota toh…yani ki yadi Nisha mere sath raat me bahar jaane ke liye taiyar ho jati ya phhir Varun party me David ko invite nahi karta toh mujhe nahi lagta ki ye sab kuch hota…ya phhir main chhat par jakar daru ke dhada-dhad peg nahi marta toh na hee main khud se baat karta aur na hee khud ko jo kuch bhi hua,wo sab karne ke liye motivate karta. Lekin ye hua tha aur bahut jor-shor se hua tha…lekin is waqt main problem ye nahi thi…is waqt jo main problem thi wo ye ki main itni raat me jaun kaha...? waha toh bahut akad kar kuch bhi bol diya lekin…mujhe jaana kaha hai…
“mera bag pahle se aise pack tha…jaise meri kahi jaane ki planning ho…Varun ne sahi kaha tha ki wo sab kuch jo maine thodi dere pahle kiya tha…wo sab mera plan tha…na ki mera daru peekar bahak jaana …yani ki jo kuch bhi aaj thodi der pahle hua…wo hona hee tha…par jab ye mera plan tha toh maine kahi toh raat guzarne ka intezaam kiya hoga…kisi hotel me..? ya kisi ke dost ke yaha ? ya kisi dharamshala me ?”

 

[The Immortal]

Update 42

Ye janne ke liye maine apne sare jeb check kiye ki kahi se koyi receipt mil jaye…lekin mujhe kuch nahi mila….phhir maine mobile me sms check kiya ki shayad kahi online booking karwayi hogi aur uska sms aaya hoga…lekin kisi booking ya transaction ka koyi sms bhi nahi tha… maine apne mobile me call history check ki lekin sabhi calls ek line se Nisha ke the.
“ab Gajini ke mafiq camera rakhna shuru kar de…lawda kuch yaad-vaad toh rahta nahi…” colony se bahar aakar sadak par chalte hue maine kaha “ab toh itni raat me yaha se city ke liye koyi auto bhi nahi milega…aur maro beta dialogues…kitna acha dost tha…kitni achi maal thi…free me khana…free me choot…free me wifi…upar se transport ki bhi facility…aur badle me kya karna tha ? kuch nahi karna tha…lekin nahi…tu toh Shri Krishna ji ka bahut bada fan hai… aur bina karm kiye rah hee nahi sakta….”
“aisi baat nahi hai…un sabko sabak sikhana tha ki jab main apne pe aata hoon toh kya karta hoon…”
“very good…aur tune dikha bhi diya…kya tune apne zindagi se kuch nahi sikha ? aur kitne jhatke tujhe chahiye serious banane ke liye…maine toh socha tha ki college khatm hone ke baad tu ekdum serious ho jayega…”
“yahi meri quality hai be…ki mere sath kitna bhi kuch ho jaye…ek-do mahine ke baad main normal jata hoon aur jisme meri ek philosophy bahut help karti hai…”
“kaun si philosophy”
“yahi ki is duniya me jo bhi chiz buri lage uska Mazak udana shuru kar do… jis-se wo chiz thoda kam bura lagti hai aur kuch samay ke baad ek bhi nahi…jaise ki jab Esha ne mujhe chhoda toh us-se paar paane ke liye main subah sham khana khan eke baad khud se kahta tha ki… ye sahi hua… mere sath aisa hee hona chahiye tha. Main gandu hoon… maha baklund hoon… chutiya hoon. Gali me bhagta hua ek awara kutta hoon. Phhir main berojgar hua aur tab bhi maine aisa hee kiya…ki lawda maine college me ayyashi ki…main bahut bada chodu hai…lavde ka baal hoon… mujhe toh kahi jhadu marne ki bhi naukri nahi milegi etc.etc. ”
“ abey, tu khud ko motivate kar raha tha ya phhir demoralize kar raha tha…? By the way…toh kya ab tu Esha ke bare me sochkar kabhi udas nahi hota…? Ya Aradhna ke bare me sochkar ? ya phhir Sidar ke bare me sochkar ? kya tujhe bilkul bhi bura nahi lagta ki college me tune sirf apne ego ke karan basketball ka ek bhi match nahi khela…? Jab ki Gautam ke aalawa tere jaisa basketball koyi khel hee nahi sakta tha…”
“hamesha nahi par kabhi-kabhi sochta hoon… thoda bura bhi lagta hai, lekin phhir sochta hoon ki… ok… jo hua so hua…now move on….lekin aksar mere mann me ye khayal bhi aata hai ki…Arman…chal chalkar un sabki *** chod dalte hai… par main dono me se kuch nahi karta… matlab naa hee main unhe bhoolkar aage badhta hoon aur na hee wapas jakar unki bajata hoon…main toh unse milo door yaha Nagpur me baitha mutth maar raha hoon…. “
“toh iska matlab ye hua ki teri philosophy ka exception tu khud hai…”
“ as always… Actually main kahna ye chahta hoon ki mujhe abhi bilkul nahi pata ki main kya kah raha hoon… kya bol raha hoon. mera abhi just break up hua hai… maine apne bachpan ke dost ko khoya hai. Isliye main abhi thoda udas hoon ya phhir khush hoon ? mujhe thik se kuch feel nahi ho raha… zara mere pupil (black portion of eye) me dekh kar bata toh wo expand ho rahi hai ya shrink… yadi mere pupils expand hue toh main excited hoon aur yadi shrink hue toh main udas hoon… ”
“lawda ,kuch dhang se nahi dikh raha…”
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Yahi sab sochte-vicharte main bag taangkar chup-chap raat ke ek baje NH-6 me chale ja raha tha ki pata nahi do log kaha se achanak tapak pade aur mujhe chaku dikhakar wahi rok liya…ek mere saamne khada hua aur ek mere peeche…
“chal be samaan neeche rakh…” mere peeche khade shaks ne gurrate hue mujhse kaha…
“samman… samman kaise neeche rakhte hai… ab kya lund ukhadkar neeche rakh du..”
“samman nahi be… samaan. Apna bag neeche rakh”
“chal be..lavde…abhi lund fek kar marunga toh pura khandan chud jayega…”kahte hue maine un dono me se ek ko jo mere samne khada tha use dhakka diya aur NH-6 me apna safar continue kiya…lekin tabhi unme se ek ne mere kandhe par tanga bag pakad kar peeche kheecha…jiska karan main wahi peeche ki taraf ulta gir gaya….
Mere neeche girne ke baad un dono me se ek mere chhati par baitha aur mere garden me chaku rakhkar bola…
“tujhe pata bhi hai ki NH-6 me kitne murder…**…loot hoti hai… hume khud nahi maloom ki humne kitni baar logo ko loota hai… isliye chup-chap apna bag rakh aur chalta ban….”
“pahli baat…mujhe darr nahi lag raha… dusari baat yadi tum dono mera bag lootne me kamyab bhi hue… jo ki hoge nahi… toh bhi tum log itna bhari bag lekar kaha tak bhagoge aur teesari baat tum dono apna kitna bhi jor laga lo, main tum dono ko pel dunga… bosdiwalo, apne aap ko kabhi aaine me dekha hai…ek fook marunga toh tum dono ki haddiya tak toot jayegi…chal hat…”bolkar maine apne upar baithe us patle-duble insaan ke peeth me jordar mukka mara aur wo apna peeth pakadkar wahi side me let gaya….
Apni sathi ki haalat dekhkar dusara wala bhi aaya lekin usne mujhse ladayi nahi ki balki mujhse maafi mangte hue apne sathi ki madad karne laga…..
“bhaiya humko chhod do…hum log bahut garib hai…”
“toh ? garib ho toh kya logo ki gand hee mar logo ? khair mujhe isase kya… looto.. maaro… maro…ma chudao… lekin… lekin…tum logo ne mujhpar par hamla kiya hai… isliye aise toh chhodunga nahi…waise bhi mere fans aajkal mujhpe shaq karne lage hai… toh kya kiya jaye tum dono ke sath…police ke hawale kar du kya”
“bhaiyo chaho toh humari gand mar lo…lekin police ke hawale mat karna…”dono rote hue ek sath bole…
“chal khol…”
“kya… ”
“khol na…”
“aisa na karo bhaiya…hum log bahut jyada garib hai…”
“tum dono itne jyada garib ho ki tum logo ke paas gand hee nahi hai…. muh se hagte ho kya be…”
“humko maaf kar do…”
“tum dono ke jeb me jo-jo hai… wo sab kuch nikal kar mujhe do…”
“kya…”
“ek aur baar…kya bola toh... seedhe thane le jaunga”ek-ek jhapad un dono ko markar maine kaha….jiske baad wo dono mere hath-pair jodne lage aur rote-rote unke jeb me jo-jo tha nikal kar mujhe dene laga….
“kya be chindi choro… sirf dhayi hazar…chal koyi nahi daru ka kharcha nikal gaya…”
Hath me dhayi hazar pakad kar main utha lekin mujhe tabhi yaad aaya ki dushman ko kabhi peeth nahi dikhana chahiye aur tab toh bilkul nahi jab wo puri tarah gusse me ho aur unke paas chaku ho… isliye main turant peeche palta aur dekha ki unme se ek meri peeth par chaku khopne ki taiyari kar raha tha.
“teri maa ka…sale mujhe chaku marne ke jugad me tha…”
apna bag peeche se samne rotate karke maine bag us chor ki hath me de mara jisase uska hath toh mujhse door ho gaya lekin chaku ab bhi uski hath me tha…usne chaku bahut kaskar pakad rakha tha…isliye maine aav na dekha taav aur apna bhari bharkam bag uthakar seedhe uske upar fek diya... is ummid se ki mere bag me rakha mera laptop sahi salamt rahega…maine uske upar bag feka aur wo wahi peeche mere bag ke sath neeche gir gaya… jiske baad maine wahi paas khade dusare wale ke sar ka baal pakda, jo khali hath wahi khada tha aur uske pet me do-teen mukka kas kar mar diya jisase wo apne aap wahi baith gaya…..

 

[The Immortal]

Update 43

“kyun be tum dono chaku se marne wale the mujhe…”
“haan toh ,humara paisa lekar kyun bhag raha tha tu…”jise maine bag fek kar mara tha wo zameen me pade-pade hee khisiyate hue bola…
“ sun be burchatte…khair chhod…tum dono apna chor pocket dikhao toh…”neeche baithkar maine kaha
“nahi…”
“aise kaise nahi ”bolte hue maine zameen me pada chaku uthaya aur seedhe uske hatheli ke beecho-beech ghusa diya.…jispar wo bahut jor se cheekha par uska dusara sathi use bachane ke liye aage nahi aaya…wo jaha tha wahi par bina kisi movements ke apne sathi ki hatheli ki taraf dekhta raha . Wo mujhe is samay dara hua kam balki hairan jyada lag raha tha , main khud bhi apni is harqat se hairan tha par jiske hath me maine abhi-abhi chaku khopa tha wo bilkul bhi hairan nahi tha.wo toh lagatar chillaye ja raha tha… uski cheekhne ki aawaz itni tez thi ki mujhe uske dusare hath se uska hee muh dabana pad gaya…. Taaki uske cheekhne ki aawaz sunkar koyi use bachane na aa jaye
“chillata kyun hai be…mujhse adhik tujhe maloom hai ki is samay yaha koyi madad ke liye nahi aane wala…” maine uske hath me ghusa hua chaku nikala aur nishana lagakar chaku phhir se usi jagah wapas ghop diya…. “chal chilla…”
Wo abki baar aur jor se chillaya aur uske chillane ka asar hee tha ki uske sathi ne jise maine do-teen mukka markar baitha diya tha…usne apne chor pocket se nikal kar apna pura maal mere samne rakh diya….jise dekh kar meri aankhe chamak gayi….kyunki uske jeb me hazar ke note ki ek gaddi bhi thi….
“shabash…ab apne dost ke andar wale jeb se maal nikal….”
“nahi…ye humare mohalle ka dada hai…yadi maine iski jeb se sona-chandi nikal kar diya toh toh ye mujhe baad me bahut marega”
“ye toh tujhe baad me bas marega… lekin main… main toh teri maa hee chod dunga…chal jaldi se iski bhi jeb khali kar , warna iske toh hath me chaku mara hai tere toh main seedhe gardan me chaku ghusaunga ”
Jiske baad usne apne sathi ki jeb me hath dala aur jo kuch bhi uski jeb me tha nikal kar mujhe diya aur maine gaur kiya ki hum dono ke hath kanp rahe the… jo is baat ka sabot tha ki hum dono hee is kaam me nausikhiye the. abki baar meri aankh aur bhi chamki kyunki uske jeb me sone-chadi ki kayi chains, bracelets aur ek-do angoothi bhi thi….maine wo sab saman apne bag me bhara aur hazar ke note ki gaddi jaise wallet me dalne laga waise hee mujhe apne wallet me mujhe yellow colour ki ek receipt dikhayi di…
“Name-Shri Arman
Flat No. E-6….
Date- 25-09-2016”
“oh BC…ye maine kab book kiya ? acha tabhi main Nisha ko baar-baar ye bol raha tha ki chal party se chalte hai ,maine ek flat book kar rakha hai… wow,aaj toh main khud ka fan ho gaya hoon…pata nahi aage kya-kya hoga…”
.
NH-6 se main wapas colony ki taraf chal pada aur gate ke paas aakar apna bag zameen par rakhkar bag me E-6 flat ki chabhi dhoondhane laga…kyunki jab maine flat book kiya hai toh zaroor chabhi bhi mere paas hee hogi…aisa maine socha aur meri ye soch ek dum sahi sabit hui kyunki mere bag ke side wale pocket me ek chabhi thi…..
“yahich hogi…mere flat ki chabhi…kya number hai mere flat ka…E-6 ya E-5…. E- 6 hoga… E-5 to us Randi Vandana(R.Vandana) ka flat hai shayad…ab maza aayega…jab main har roj nangi-nangi photos uske ghar me fekunga.Vandana Rathi...hold your choot… Shri Arman is cumming…. ”
Maine receipt me dekha flat ka no. E-6 tha. Maine wo sabhi paise aur jewellery bag me ekdum neeche dali jo maine choro se chori ki thi aur chup-chap apne flat me chala gaya….
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Subah uthkar maine adat anusar sabse pahle apna mobile uthaya aur bistar par pade-pade gaana sunne laga ki tabhi mere mobile me ek messege aaya….messege Nisha ne kiya tha isliye main ye janne ke liye bahut utsuk ho utha ki Nisha ne kya likha hoga….
“mujhse tumse bas aakhiri baar milna hai…sham ko 5 baje park me aa jana…”
“kamal hai…itna sab kuch karne ke baad bhi ? ye mujhse milna chahti hai…ab kya kahna hai ise…kahi ye in sabka koyi plan toh nahi ki mujhe park me bulwakar marwa dale…. Waise bhi aaj ki date me kisi ka kya bharosa ? nahi jaunga ,faltu me kahi lene ke dene pad gaye toh…? Waise bhi main kyun milu kisi aisi ladki se jo mere layak hee nahi hai…”
Maine apna mobile ek taraf feka aur kal raat ki robbery me meri jitni kamayi hui thi usko check karne laga….
“shuru me usne dhayi hazar diye…phhir hazar-hazar ki ek gaddi mujhe di…jisme 20 hazar the. mere account me abhi 22 hazar hai…upar se jo ye sona-chandi hai…kam se kam 60-70 hazar ka maal hoga lekin black me bechunga…isliye 40-45 se jyada nahi milega…yani ki abhi mere paas 80k ke lagbhag rupaye hai….itne me toh aish karunga main….waise bhi mujhe ab naukri ki zaroorat nahi…jab bhi paiso ki zaroorat hogi main NH-6 me robbery karne nikal jaunga…. acha idea diya hai un chutiyo ne…. phhir log mujhe kahenge ki….Shri Arman : The Criminal of NH-6 ya phhir The Robber of NH-6…ya phhir Pirates of the NH-6….NH-6 ke lootere… sounds cool… par pahle is flat ko rahne layak banata hoon”
.
Maine pura din laga diya apne flat ko arrange karne me… jaise ki main daru ki botal kaha rakhunga , kaha baithkar daru piyunga…apne flat ke kis room me baithkar apni criminal activities ke plan banaunga…vagerah-vagerah aur sham hote-hote tak sari arrangeent karne ke baad jab main naha dhokar bathroom se nikla toh 6 baj chuke the...maine apna mobile uthaya aur dominos wale ko order diya ki do large pizza wo fatafat le aaye… pizza order karne ke baad maine apna mobile wapas bistar me ek taraf fek diya aur full taiyar hokar park ki taraf chala…waise toh mujhe Nisha ne 5 baje bulaya tha lekin mujhe maloom tha ki wo mera intezaar zaroor karegi…isiliye main bade aaram se park ki taraf ja raha tha…
“hi….”mujhe dekhkar Nisha ne kaha…
“hi…sorry main thoda late ho gaya….”Nisha ke bagal me baithkar main bola “toh kaha hai…baki ke log”
“baki ke log…kaun…”
“wahi David aur uske gunde… “aas-paas dekhte hue main bola… “kamal hai,mujhe door-door tak na toh David dikh raha hai aur na hee koyi aisa jispar mujhe shaq ho ki wo mujhe marne aaya ho…”
“mere aalawa yaha koyi nahi hai…Arman…”
“mujhe laga ki tum logo ka mujhe marne ka plan hoga…lekin jab tum logo ka aisa koyi plan hee nahi hai toh phhir mujhe yaha kyun bulaya…”
“kyunki main tumse ye kahna chahati thi ki main tumse pyar karti hoon aur hamesha karti rahungi…par ab main aur bardasht nahi kar sakti…main tumhe bhool nahi sakti…par ab aur tumhare sath nahi rah sakti…tum jab mujhe pahli baar mile the tab tum mere liye ek mystery the aur aaj jab main tumse aakhiri baar mil rahi hoon…tab bhi tum mere liye ek mystery hee ho …mujhe nahi pata ki tumne kal raat wo sab kyun kiya aur na hee main tumhe kuch kahungi…infact maine tumse kal raat ek bahut achi chiz seekhi hai ki sirf apne bare me socho…sirf khud se pyar karo… sirf apne ahankar me jiyo… kya kahte hai ise…”
“may be Narcissism…”
“I don’t know and I don’t care….isiliye maine ye decision liya hai ki aaj ke baad humara ye rishta yahi par khatm ho jayega….Remember Arman, jab tum mujhe pahle baar Eternity me mile the… hum dono ek-dusre se takraye the…aam taur par log ek-dusare se sorry bolte hai aur maine bola bhi tha lekin tumne mujhe sorry nahi bola…ulta mujhe hadka diya ki main tumhe line maar rahi hoon… uske baad humari mulaqat yahi isi park me hui…Arman…tumhe main bata nahi sakti ki main tumhe kitna pyar karti hoon…main tumhe kabhi bhool nahi paungi aur na hee bhoolna chahti hoon… kyunki meri life ka sabse acha samay tumhare sath beeta…toh kya hua yadi ab tum mujhse thik se pesh nahi aate…toh kya hua ki tumne meri bahut insult ki…actual me tum aise nahi ho…maine gaur kiya hai ki ye tumhari sachchayi nahi hai…tumne apne aap ko kahi chhupa rakha hai…aur main aaj tak isi ummid me thi ki ek din main tumhare us chhipe hue Arman ko bahar le aaungi….lekin main isme kamyab nahi hui aur yahi meri nakamyabi thi…galti meri thi…tum toh hamesha se aise the…tumne mujhe pahle bhi kaha tha ki samay ke sath tumhara bartaav kharab ho jayega…lekin main hee bewkoof thi jo har baar tumse baat karne pahuch jati thi… shayad main tumhare layak hee nahi aur aaj ke baad hum kabhi nahi milenge. Please… aaj ke baad mujhse milne ki koshish mat karna ”itna bolkar Nisha uthi aur waha se jaane lagi…..
“ayusman bhava…”apni aankh mijte hue maine kaha “and don’t worry… mujhme kisi ko manane ka feature bhagwan ne diya hee nahi hai… isliye befikar raho, main sapne me bhi tumse sorry nahi bolunga ya manane aaunga , reality me toh bahut door ki baat hai. Afterall I’m a Narcissist ”

 

[The Immortal]

Phase-2 : Criminal Activities~Eventually reunion with Angelina​

 

[The Immortal]

Update 44

“mujhe call mat karna ab aur na hee koyi sms chahiye mujhe…”cheekh kar maine kaha
“I won’t…aur maine apna number change kar diya hai…isliye tum bhi mujhe call ya sms mat karna…”
“toh tum us David ke liye mujhe chhodkar ja rahi ho…”
“David ka toh yaha sawal hee nahi aata Arman…”wapas mudkar Nisha boli “ye kahani sirf hum dono ki thi…”
“nahi…tune jabran David ko is kahani me ghusaya… warna kisi ko kya interest hoga tere bachpan ke dost pe”
“David ne meri family ko abuse nahi kiya….David ne kal raat daru peekar hungama nahi kiya…David ne mujhe kabhi nahi rulaya…par isme bhi galti meri hee hai…mujhe kya pata tha ki David ke sath rahne ke karan tum itna insecure feel karoge…aur yahi chiz prove karti hai ki tum wo nahi ho jo tum sari duniya ko dikha rahe ho…Arman I’m sorry… tum mahan ho,lekin hum nahi..hum normal log hai aur hume normal logo ke sath rahna hee pasand hai…in short…tumhari language me kahu toh hum tumhare layak hee nahi hai…mujhe ummid hai ki jo tumhare layak hai ya jise tum chahte ho wo tumhe mil jayegi…Goodbye…Arman”
“good…bye…Goodbye…Ni…Nisha….Goodbye Nisha…love you 85 %....”
Iske baad Nisha waha se chali gayi…usne ek baar bhi peeche mudkar nahi dekha lekin main use tab tak dekhta raha jab tak ki wo mere aankho ke samne se oojhal nahi ho gayi…
“toh kya yahi ant hai ? the great Arman aur Nisha ki story ka….? Ya phhir koyi aur twist hai…aur ye meri aankh se aansu kyun nikal rahe hai…shayad kam sone ki vazah se…. mujhe koyi fark nahi padta kisi ke aane-jaane se.main toh bilkul bhi dukhi nahi hoon…ya phhir hoon lekin mujhe pata tak nahi hai…? …anyway ,lets follow the procedure…”
Maine goggle lagaya aur cigarette jalakar lambe-lambe kash marte hue Nisha ko jaate hue dekhta raha…aur tabhich mere muh se nikla…
“Love you ,Nisha….now 100 %.....i hope you’ll find your right one…better than me…smarter than me… I’ll always remember your tight boobs ”
.
Meri zindagi se ab kayi logo ka patta kat chukka tha jaise ki Varun… Nisha… David… Sonam… Shipra isliye mujhe ab bahut sukoon tha…mera matlab main bata nahi sakta ki in sabke chale jaane se main kitna khush hoon …ab no more ..time pe ye karna…wo karna aur no more Nisha ke boring call jhelna…kuch dino se toh BC Varun bhi philosopher ke mafiq lecture dene laga tha matlab ki wo launda jo 3 cm diameter ka circle bhi dhang se nahi bana sakta tha wo mujhe aajkal ye bata raha tha mujhe life me kya karna chahiye. Wo toh phhir bhi chalo mera dost hai… I mean dost tha, isliye use main ignore bhi kar sakta hoon lekin ye David… Nisha par meri full sulgi hui thi aur toh aur tumhe yakin nahi hoga ki Sonam bhi mujhe suggestions de chuki hai. sabki suggestion chahe kitni bhi alag kyun na ho, kitni bhi achchhi kyun na ho… sab me 9 to 5 wali job common rahti hai…BC sale…inke suggestion sunkar mujhe aisa lagta hai ki jaise koyi mujhe ye sikha raha ho ki mujhe basketball kaise khelna hai…par ab jo aham sawal tha wo ye ki ab iske aage kya…ab kya meri puri zindagi E-6 me akele beetegi ?kitna achchha ho ki colony me rahne wale sab log mar jaye. Tab toh sala maza hee aa jaye. Ya phhir main inko ek-ek karke marna shuru kar du. ?
.
Park me main bahut der tak baitha raha aur jab raat ko 9 baje park band karne ka samay hua toh colony ke guard ne mujhe hosh me lakar waha se jaane ke liye kaha…
“9 baj gaye…. ? you're right... 9 baj gaye hai”apni aankhe jaldi-jaldi laplapate hue ghadi me time dekhkar maine kaha “acha hua us dominos wale ko phone karke bol diya tha ki mere na rahne par parcel gate ke andar rakh de….”
Main park se bahar nikalkar apne flat ki taraf chal diya.is puri colony me E-6 sabse aakhiri flat tha isliye jab se main yaha shift hua tha tab se mujhe aisi feeling aane lagi thi jaise ki main is duniya ke sabse aakhiri chhor me rahta hoon…main apne flat ke andar ghusa aur pizza uthakar andar jaane laga toh dekha ki E-5 ki light jal rahi thi…..
“Rathi…ise zara ahsaas dilate hoon ki main yaha aa gaya hoon…lekin kaise ? ise maa-behan ki gali du ya phhir deewar me chadhkar uske side moot du ya phhir iske boundary ki deewar me patthar se choot ka diagram bana du ? ek kaam karta hoon…”
Maine apne room ka lock kholkar parcel andar rakha aur bahar se ek patthar uthakar Rathi ke darwaje par nishana sadhne laga…..
“darwaje pe nahi…khidki me maar…”
“good idea, two point zero”
Maine darwaje se khidki par apna target shift kiya aur ghuma kar R.Rathi ki khidki par patthar mar aur bhagkar apne room ke andar ghus gaya….Patthar seedhe jakar Rathi mam ki khidki se takraya tha… kyunki kaanch tootne ki bahut tez aawaz mere kano me padi thi.
“tu ruk…Vandana Rathi…tujhe yaha se shift nahi karwaya toh bolna…gand fad dalunga teri main ab…tujhe pata nahi ki tune kis-se panga liya hai…. Bas mera mood thoda aur satakne de tere upar, phhir dekh main kya-kya karta hoon…. Tune mujhe do letters ka option diya tha na… wahi do letter main roll karke tere dono chhed me dalunga… Good night.”
.
Main chahe upar se kitna bhi dikhawa kar loon lekin isme koyi shaq nahi ki Main ab bilkul akela ho gaya tha…mera ab na toh koyi dost tha aur na hee koyi girlfriend…aur na hee mere paas koyi kaam tha…yani ki perfect life… yahi toh main chahta tha…par ab sabse bada jo sawal tha wo ye ki ab kya ? Maine Arun ke new number pe call kiya , jo usne mujhe yaha aakar diya tha…
“aur lawde kaha hai…”Arun ke call receive karte hee main turant bol utha… lekin us taraf se koyi aawaz nahi aayi…
“bolega be bosdiwale…”maine phhir se Arun ke samman me pyar bhare shabd kahe… lekin abki baar bhi udhar se koyi aawaz nahi aayi… jis-se mujhe apni galti ka ahsaas hua ki mujhe direct gali se shuruat nahi karna chahiye tha.
“hello… hello…. Kuch toh bol…”
“kaun hai bad-tameez”ek aurat ki cheekhti hui aawaz mere kaan me padi, jiske turant baad maine call disconnect ki aur khud se bola “lagta hai Arun ki Maa ya Behan ne call uthaya tha… relax… hota hai aisa…”
Mobile jeb me rakhkar maine bistar se 6 feet ki doori naapi aur waha paas ek kapda rakhkar dusare room me gaya aur dusare room se daudkar jaha maine marking ke liye kapda tha... waha se seedhe bistar par jump kiya
“woohoo , I did it…”dhadam se land hote hue maine hafte hue kaha par phhir thodi der baad mujhe pata chala ki main asal me nahi haaf raha tha balki hafne ki acting kar raha tha....
Ab kya karu… pahle school kiya , phhir degree bhi hasil ki …do –teen jagah naukri bhi ki aur un sabne mujhe naukri se nikal diya...toh ab kya ? another job ? ya phhir kuch aur….
“yadi main phhir koyi private naukri karunga toh phhir se nikal ke fek diya jaunga…isliye abki baar, Modi Sarkar…yani ki ab samay aa gaya hai…jab main sarkari naukri ke liye taiyari karu….kyunki yahi wo field hai jaha main apne seniors se ladayi karke bhi bana rah sakta hoon…okay…phhir done ki mujhe sarkari naukri karni hai…lekin kaun si…IAS ? nahi lawda…isme gand fad mehnat hai…GATE ? ye thik hai…ab apun gate ki taiyari karunga aur gate ke sath-sath khidki…bhi nikal lunga….”

 

[The Immortal]

Update 45

“waise gate se yaad aaya ki gate ka form bharna shuru ho gaya hoga…toh bhar du ?”
“bhar de…”
“pakka… padhte waqt disturb toh nahi karega na…”
“version 2.0’s promise”
“pakka na…”
“ab kya lawda sperm se likh kar du…”
“ok, done phhir….”
.
Maine gate ka form bhara aur gate ka form bharne ke baad zameen par let kar cigarette peete hue gate ki preparation ka plan banana laga…
“ek din me chaubis ghante…jisme se char ghante sone ke liye…dus ghante padhai ke liye…do ghante cigarette aur daru peene ke liye…10+4+2= 16…phhir bhi 8 ghante bach rahe hai…chalo isme se do ghante NH-6 me loot ke liye nikal deta hoon….phhir bhi 6 ghante seedhe-seedhe khali hai…ok…16 ghante gate ki preparation…char ghante sone ke liye aur…do ghante NH-6 me dhamaka karne ke liye aur baki bache do ghante cigarette aur daru peene ke liye…16+4+2+2= 24 hours…L.H.S. = R.H.S. , hence proved….lekin aaj se nahi…abhi toh bahut taiyari karni hai….”
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Yahi sochate hue main zameen par letkar bina kash khiche cigarette jalata raha aur phhir pura dum lagakar ek kash khicha.cigarette ke us ek dumdar kash ke dauran meri nazar ceiling fan par gayi….fan bahut tez chal raha tha aur jis direction me pankha ghoom raha tha(clockwise) meri aankh bhi usi direction me ghoomne lagi…shuru-shuru me toh mere aankh ke ghoomne ki speed bahut slow thi…lekin samay ke sath mere aankh ki bhi ghoomne ki speed badhti gayi….maine ye sab aise hee time pass ke liye shuru kiya tha lekin ab ye rook nahi raha tha…meri aankh itni tez rotate karne lagi thi mera sar chakrane laga tha…aur phhir ek samay aisa aaya jab meri aankh ki rotational speed fan ke rotational speed ko match kar gayi….jiska pata mujhe tab chala jab fan dheere-dheere slow hokar rook gaya tha…lekin ye haqiqat me nahi hua tha….haqiqat me toh fan ab bhi ghoom raha tha…jiski hawa main mahsoos kar sakta tha…actually ho ye raha tha ki mere aankh ki rotational speed fan ki speed ke equal ho gayi thi…yani ki fan aur mere aankh ke beech relative motion zero ho chukka tha…isliye mere room ka ceiling fan mujhe rooka hua dikh raha tha…jabki actual me wo bahut tez speed ke sath ghoom raha tha aur meri aankh bhi.
Main kab tak aise hee zameen par pada raha mujhe nahi maloom par bahar jab kisi ne mera name pukara toh main mano hosh me aaya aur apni aankh mijte hue bahar gaya…..
“Varun tu… ?”
“kyun be…aaj coaching nahi jana kya…”
“lawda,phhir se past me never mind…pankhe ki maa ki choot….”
“kya bol raha hai be…chal jaldi…warna janta hai na ki physics wala teacher kaise insult karta hai…”
“tu do minute rook, main do minute me aaya…”
Varun ko rukne ke liye kahkar main andar gaya aur apne bag se sara samaan zameen me fek-kar sirf ek rough copy bag me dalkar bahar aa gaya. maine Physics ki book bhi nahi li thi kyunki jo Physics main tution me padhne wala tha ,wo sab mujhe pata tha balki us-se kuch jyada hee matlba bahut jyada. You know its apun’s language….maine apne gharwalo ko aawaz di…lekin meri aawaz sunkar koyi nahi aaya jis-se maine ek aur baar aawaz di par nateeza wahi raha…yani ki is baar bhi kisi ne koyi response nahi diya…jisase mujhe shaq hua ki kahi kisi ne silently mere ghar walo ko tapka toh nahi diya…isliye maine pura ghar chhan mara …..
“kamal hai ,mere ghar me mere aalwa koyi nahi hai…”bahar aate hue main Varun se bola “tujhe pata hai kya Varun ki mere gharwale kaha gaye hai…”
“mujhe kaise pata hoga…”apna kandha uchkate hue Varun ne jor se jawab diya….
“toh chillata kahe hai be…”ek mukka markar maine Varun se kaha…
“waise tune mujhe kal school me bataya tha ki tu ,kal apne family ke sath kisi Pandey ji ke yaha jayega…lagta hai tere gharwale tujhe chhodkar chale gaye… main toh ye bhool hee gaya tha, warna tere ghar thode aata.lekin achchha hee hua ki aa gaya”
“ho sakta hai…main toh so raha tha…ya phhir ye bhi ho sakta hai ki maine hee jaane ke liye mana kar diya ho…waise aaj taarikh kaun si hai…”
“28”
“full form me bata be..”
“28th November 2009…”
“November….mahina chal raha hai ? ”
“haan toh isme itna khush kyun ho raha hai….”
“chal bata ki 2011 me world cup kaun jeetega…”
“India…”Varun ne jawab diya….
Aur Varun ka jawab sunte hee main road par khushi se nachne laga…yesss…yani ki yun hardum past me aana meri koyi bimari nahi hai…balki ek ability hai…main past events ko change kar sakta hoon…past me jakar apna messege de sakta hoon…jiske according sab kuch real me change ho sakta hai…toh kya is tarah main apne college ki story badal sakta hoon ? bilkul badal sakta hoon…? Main councilling ke dauran us college ka option hee nahi dalunga…jisme main padh chuka hoon…is tarah main apna future safe kar lunga…yay… main mahan, mera sab kuch mahan…
“itna naach kyun raha hai…”mujhe bakchod ki tarah sadak par kudate-fadte dekh Varun ne pucha…
“tu nahi samjhega…tu ye bata ki 2015 me india world cup jeetegi ya nahi…”
“mujhe kya pata…wo toh tu kal school me ek ladke se 2011 world cup kaun jeetega is topic me ladayi kar raha tha…tera kahna tha ki India aur us ladke ka kahna tha ki Australia…aur tu ab mujhse na lade isliye maine India kah diya….”
“lavde ke baal…”apne emotion ko control karke maine Varun ke pichhwade me ek laat meri aur badle me apne pichhwade me ek laat bhi khayi aur phhir apna pichhwada sahlate hue bola…
“main khamkha kya-kya sochne laga tha…lekin tune mere sare armano par muh se mutth mar diya…”
“muh se mutth…?”bolkar Varun apna muh alag-alag shape me banana laga… “yuck”
“ab ye kya kar raha hai…”
“muh se mutth maar raha hoon…”
“bakchod sale…acha ye bata…tution me kaun sa topic chal raha hai…”
“laws of motion…”
“mujhse sab banta hai…”
.
Kya maine kabhi apne school ke physics teacher ke bare me bataya hai ? mujhe thik dhang se yaad nahi…isliye yadi bataya bhi ho toh ,dobara bata deta hoon…humare school ke Physics teacher ka name Amarnath Shukla tha…aur sala ek number ka chodu…bakchod…lanth aadmi tha…aap zindagi me ek baar kisi ladki ko samajh sakte ho lekin Amarnath ko samajh pana….koyi chance hee nahi….humne uska name pyar se Amaru rakha hua tha…jo ki use bhi pata tha…lekin wo ise enjoy karta tha…uski ek khas property thi ki wo standard temperature aur atmospheric pressure me kisi ke bhi samne, kisi ko bhi… kuch bhi bol deta tha ,phhir chahe wo uske students ho ya phhir uska beta…ya phhir uski biwi. Uski biwi tana-tan maal thi aur ghar me aane wale har mard ko vaasna ki nazar dekhti thi…ya phhir nahi dekhti thi…main is bare me confirm nahi hoon…lekin Amaru ka launda bahut pahuchi hui chiz tha…ghar me jaha wo gand-fati me rahta wahi bahar full ayyashi pelta tha…mujhe ab bhi yaad hai Amaru ke bete ka ek kissa jisme usne apne se 6 saal badi ladki ko bus-stand me khullam khulla propose mara tha…wo bhi apne liye nahi balki apni colony me rahne wale apne jaise hee ek launde ke liye… us din humari toh gand hee fat gayi thi aur hum soch me pad gaye the ki BC Amaru ne kis angle se apni biwi ko chodkar ise paida kiya hai.anyway….
Amaru ko Physics ke bare me knowledge toh bahut tha lekin uske ajeeb bartaav ke karan uski class science ki class kam…comedy classes jyada lagti thi…aur bas yahi se mujhe physics me interest aaya…dusare shabdo me kahu toh Amaru mera inspiration tha aur yadi ise teesare sabdo me kahu toh Amaru hee wo shaks tha jis-se maine seekha tha ki Physics aur bakchodi ko mixup kaise karna hai.
Hum paanch launde Amaru ke yaha physics padhne jaya karte the…par waha padhayi kam bakchodi jyada hoti thi…abhi Shukla ji ne first law of motion padhaya hee tha ki unhe bhookh lagne lagi….aur unhone apni biwi ko khana lane ke liye kaha….
“tum log bhi khaoge kya…”
“nahi sir…”Varun ne jawab diya…
“dekho agla topic hai force yani ki bal…jab tum kisi bhi chiz ko dhakka dete ho aur wo gati karne lagti hai toh usme bal ki ek matra kaam karti hai…jise hum F=ma se nikalte hai…lekin yadi bal lagane se wo chiz ya vastu gati nahi karti toh….”
“sir, wo bal nikalne ka derivation aapne nahi bataya…”smart banne ki koshish karte hue Varun ne ek sawal daga…
“ajeeb aadmi ho yar, tum toh Physics ki maiyya chod de rahe ho.beech me disturb kyun kar rahe ho..bakchod-vakchod ho ka…Arman, maro sale ko…”
Amarnath sir ne aisa kaha…jo ki unka chir-parichit andaaz tha aur phhir maine bhi apne chir-parichit andaaz me ghuma ke ek mukka Varun ki peeth me jama diya…
______________________________

 

[The Immortal]

Update 46

“ab aage se disturb mat karna…. Dekho,jab tum kisi bhi chiz ko dhakka dete ho aur wo gati karne lagti hai toh usme bal ki ek matra hoti hai…jise hum F=ma se nikalte hai…lekin yadi bal lagane se wo chiz ya vastu gati nahi karti toh usme lagaya gaya bal zero hota hai lekin iska matlab ye nahi hota ki usme koyi bal nahi lagaya gaya…example dekho…”
Example dikhane ke liye Amarnath sir apni table se uthe aur apna pura jor lagakar apni ghar ki deewar ko dono hatho se dhakka dete hue bole…
“ye dekhhhoo… maine is deewar me apne dono hatho se bal lagaya lekin deewar me koyi motion nahi hua…lekin yaad rakhna ki bal phhir bhi lag raha hai…lag raha hai…lagte hee ja raha hai…ufff…gand fat gayi”
jo example Amarnath ne hume bataya tha…wo physics ki book me bhi tha aur hum sab easily samajh bhi gaye the lekin Amarnath sir the ki hume demonstration dene me tule hue the…wo is samay deewar ko puri taqat ke sath dhakel rahe the aur unhe aisa karte dekh hum sab jor-jor se hasne lage…
“dekho…deewar ki position me koyi changes nahi hai…lekin bal lag raha hai…lag raha hai…kamal hai yar, main idhar padha raha hoon …udhar tum log has rahe ho…bakchod ho ka sab ke sab…tumlog ko physics padhane se achchha hai ki main konte me jakar mutth maar loon…”
Bal lagne ka demonstration dene ke baad Amarnath sir wapas apni chair par baithe aur bistar ki chadar se apna paseena pochhne lage…
“sir, ab bhi bal lag raha hai kya…”maine pucha…
“bal lag raha hai aur lagte hee ja raha hai”
Amarnath ne apna paseena saaf karne ke baad apne launde ko bulaya aur apne jeb se saman ki list nikal kar use saman lane ke liye kaha.jise unka launda turant lekar aa gaya…
“tumhara khana nahi bana kya…”andar apni biwi ko aawaz marte hue sir ne puchha
“bas nikal rahi hoon”
“jaldi lao…”
Ab hume padhana chhod Sir wo saman dekhne lage ,jo unka beta lekar aaya tha…aur jab unhone bag me rakha saman pura check kar liya toh apne bête ko paas bulaya aur use ek thappad markar puchha…
“poha kyun nahi laya…”
“mummi ne mana kiya tha…”cheekhte hue unke bête ne jawab diya jispar sir ne ek aur thappad mar kar kaha…
“hum na, tumhari mahtari ke gand me char laat markar wapas bhej denge…samjhe…ab ja yaha se aur apni mahtari ko bol ki khana laye”
Itne me unki wife unke liye khana lekar aa gayi…unki wife ne humse bhi pucha ki kya hum log bhi khana khayenge lekin humare naa bolne par wo hum sabko smile dekar andar chali gayi….Amarnath sir bahut der tak thali ko ghoorte rahe aur phhir eka-ek tez aawaz me unhone apni biwi se pucha…
“ye kya banayi ho ji…”
“kadhi…chawal “unki biwi ne andar se hee jawab diya…
“ye kadhi chawal hai….ya tatti chawal…kyun ji Varun, tum dekh ke batao…ki ye kya hai…”
“nahi sir…mujhe nahi dekhna…”
“are dekho toh…tatti type se dikh rahi hai ya nahi…’
“yuck…”
“bathroom se tatti lakar chawal me mila diya hai…main nahi khaunga “bolkar Amarnath ne thali zameen par fek di…jisase tatti chawal…sorry I mean kadhi chawal zameen par idhar-udhar fail gaya aur jis thali me kadhi chawal tha wo round-round wahi zameen par ghoomne laga…
Shuru me mujhe ye normal laga lekin jab bahut der tak wo thali round-round ghoomte rahi toh mera bheja apni jagah se khiska aur maine apne aas-paas dekha. Mere saare dost dheere-dheere waha se gayab ho rahe the aur waha se jab bhi koyi gayab hota tab gayab hone ke pahle unka sharir halka sa chamkane lagta tha.ab waha sirf main akela baacha tha…waha ab na toh Varun tha …na hee mere dost aur na hee Amarnath sir…sab log waha se achanak gayab ho gaye the par zameen me giri wo thali ab bhi usi speed ke sath waha zameen par gol-gol ghoom rahi thi…
“woohooo iska matlab ab main wapas present me jaane wala hoon…kitna hoshiyar hoon main…aur abki baar toh mujhe darr bhi nahi lag raha…ok… ulti ginti shuru….three…two…one…”bolte hue maine apni aankhe band ki aur thodi der baad apni aankhe kholi….
“ye kaise mumkin hai…main ab bhi yahi hoon…”chauk kar maine kaha…maine phhir se apni aankhe band ki aur teen tak ki ulti ginti shuru ki…
“abki baar hindi me karta hoon, lagta hai time travel walo ko English nahi aati.ok…teen…paune teen…dhayi…do…ek...vartman me aapka swagat hai… par ye kya…main phhir ab bhi hoon…wtf…ye kaam kyun nahi kar raha..kahi maine apni ability kho toh nahi di..”
“tum yaha se tab tak nahi jaoge …jab tak main nahi chah leti…”andar se bahar aate hue Amarnath ki biwi boli…
Maine ek baar phhir gol-gol ghoom rahi thali ki taraf dekha….ye kaise possible hai..ye toh sarasar physics ke khilaf hai…mana ki Amaru ne isme bal lagaya tha…lekin isme toh ab bhi bal lag raha hai…lag raha hai….lagte hee jar aha hai.rukne ka naam hee nahi le raha hai.
“kya…tumne meri aawaz nahi suni…tum yaha se tab tak nahi jaoge …jab tak main nahi chah leti…”mere saamne khadi hote hui Amarnath ki biwi boli…
“maine suni thi..par mujhe maloom hai janeman ki, tu real nahi hai…isliye maine dhyan nahi diya…”Amarnath sir ki biwi ki taraf dekhte hue main bola aur sath me buri tarah chauk bhi gaya….
Amarnath sir ki biwi is samay mere samne khadi thi…par ye mere buri tarah chaukne ki vazah nahi thi…main buri tarah chauka, uski vazah ye thi ki Amarnath ki biwi mere samne is samay puri nangi khadi thi aur unka pura badan pani me bhiga hua tha….maine unhe dekha aur unhe dekhte hee main unhe dekhta rah gaya…
“mujhe pata hai ki…tum inke paas coaching padhne kyun aate ho…tum apne dosto se kahte ho ki Amarnath sir bahut funny hai…isliye tum unke paas padhne jaate ho…lekin main aur tum bhali-bhati jante hai ki yaha tum kyun aate ho…yaha tum mere liye aate ho….”aage badhte hue wo boli…aur jaise-jaise wo meri taraf badh rahi thi mera gala sookhta ja raha tha…
Amarnath sir ki biwi apne pure badan se pani tapkate hue bistar par chadhi aur phhir apne ek pair se mere lund ko sahlane lagi…..sahlane kya,ye bolo masalne lagi…yaha tak usko bhi.
“tum batao Arman…kya tum mujhe chodne ki ichchha lekar yaha nahi aayt…”
“haan…mera matlab na…bilkul nahi”
“mujhe…jhooth bardasht nahi…. sach batao…”
unhone apni peeth mere taraf kar di aur jhuk kar apni gand meri taraf karke mujhse puchhi
“kya tum isme apna lund nahi ghusana chahte….”
“chahta hoon..mera matlab nahi chahta hoon..aaa, abey apna pair toh hata raand” dard se karahte hue maine kaha…
Jiske baad Amarnath sir ki biwi wapas meri oor palti aur apna ek pair mere lund se hatakar seedhe mere mathe par rakh kar mujhe bistar me let jaane ka ishara kiya….mere bistar par let jane ke baad usne apna ek pair mere baye kandhe ke bagal me rakha aur apna dusara pair mere daye kandhe ke bagal me rakha…jisase uske sharir aur choot se pani tapak kar seedhe mere muh me girne laga….maine apna muh band kiya aur use hatane ki koshish ki…lekin wo apni jagah se hili tak nahi…maine ek aur baar koshish ki lekin wo thi ki pahad ke mafiq apni jagah par khadi rahi…yani ki bal lag raha tha lekin motion zero tha….aur uske choot se pani ki boond lagatar muh me gir rahi thi….maine use apne upar se hatane ki kayi koshish ki lekin main har baar nakam raha...wo bahut der tak mere upar pani tapkati rahi aur phhir ahiste se wo mere muh ke upar baith gayi…jisase uski choot ya phhir gand seedhe mere muh ke contact me aaya….
“iski maa ka…bc randi….uth…Sali…burchatta samajh ke rakhi hai kya mujhe…abey main Shri Arman hoon…” ghuti-ghuti aawaz me maine kaha…lekin Amarnath sir ki biwi thi ki mere upar se hatne ka naam hee nahi le rahi thi…balki wo apne choot ko mere muh me aur bhi jyada force ke sath dabaye ja rahi thi…jisase mera dum ghootne laga… mujhe saans lene me dikkat hone lagi…meri aankhe dum ghutne ki vazah se ab apne aap band hone lagi thi aur apni aankh puri tarah se band hone ke pahle maine jo aakhiri chiz dekhi wo ye ki jo thali itni der se non-stop full speed ke sath ghoom rahi thi…uski speed ab dheere-dheere kam ho rahi thi….
“ab samjha…”lagatar kam hoti thali ki speed ko dekhkar maine khud se kaha
“jaise-jaise thali ki speed kam hogi, meri jaan waise-waise version 1.0 se 3.0 me transfer hogi aur jab thali ekdum se ruk jayegi…tab main completely version 3.0 me transfer ho jaunga…ye sara khel relative motion ka hai, BC….anyway, abki baar counting sankrit me karta hoon… shayad safal ho jaun…ok… countdown in sanskrit…treeni…dve…ekam…”
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Aur abki baar sanskrit me meri counting kaam kar gayi…main sach me apne present time me laut chuka tha…jiska andaza mujhe tab hua jab maine khud ko apne flat me pankhe ke neeche leta hua paya… maine dekha ki pankhe ki speed lagatar badh rahi thi yani ki ab meri aankh aur pankhe ke beech Relative motion ab zero nahi tha…
“ab samjha ki main past me kyun chala jata hoon…actually ye sab kuch relative motion ka kamal hai…time ko teen part me divide kiya gaya hai….present…past..future aur in sabki apni alag-alag speed bhi hogi…aur isiliye hum time ke is boundation ko paar nahi kar pate par jab kinhi do time ki yani ki Past,Present ya present,future ki velocity kisi bhi vyakti ke liye same ho jati hai toh wo vyakti time ke is boundation ko cross kar sakta hai…jaise ki kuch dino se mere sath ho raha hai...actual me ye sab relative motion ka khel hai…jab-jab main past me jata hoon tab-tab mere liye past aur present ki relative speed zero hoti hai…nahi zero nahi…zero se thodi adhik hoti hogi…tabhi toh present ka ek ghanta past ke lagbhag 12 ghante ke barabar hota hai…yani ki relative velocity zero nahi hoti balki zero se thodi adhik hoti hai…par itni adhik nahi ki main past me na ja saku…jaise ki do train jo dheere-dheere chal rahi hai…unme se ek train ka passenger dusari train me kood kar chala jata hai..kyunki us samay un dono train ki speed bahut kam hoti hai….aur jab ye past aur present wapas apne original speed me move karne lagte hai toh main past dwara wapas apne samay me fek diya jata hoon…kyunki tab santulan banaye rakhne ke liye present mujhe wapas bula leta hai…yani ki kul milakar ye sab relative velocity ka khel hai…is it ? ya phhir koyi aur reason hai ? gand maraye…Shri Arman toh ab daru peekar mathematics solve karenge…wo bhi raatbhar. Kitna stamina hai mere andar…main just abhi-abhi ek duniya se dusari duniya me aaya hoon aur aate hee padhne baith gaya sach kahta hoon maine apne se jyada mahan insaan aaj tak nahi dekha….aur isi mahanta ko sakshi maankar main ye shapath leta hoon ki main Physics-Putra Shri Arman, kal Ganga-Jamuna randi chodne jaunga.”
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[The Immortal]

Update-47

is it ? ya phhir koyi aur reason hai ? gand maraye…Shri Arman toh ab daru peekar mathematics solve karenge…wo bhi raatbhar. Kitna stamina hai mere andar…main just abhi-abhi ek duniya se dusari duniya me aaya hoon aura ate hee padhne baith gaya. sach kahta hoon maine apne se jyada mahan insaan aaj tak nahi dekha….aur isi mahanta ko sakshi maankar main ye shapath leta hoon ki main Physics-Putra Shri Arman, kal Ganga-Jamuna randi chodne jaunga.”
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Main apne room se bahar nikla aur dekha ki Vandana Rathi ka flat yani ki E-5 ki khidki tooti hui thi...lekin maine uspar jyada dhyan nahi diya Aur waha se aage badh gaya….
“rook BC…aaj goli marunga…bahut udd rahi thi Sharda Enterprises me…ab tere wahi pankh…jiske dum par tu itna udd rahi thi…unhe katkar teri gand me nahi bhar diya toh bolna….Vandana Rathi, tere achchhe din aane wale hai..”
Vandana Rathi ko aisi kayi galiya dekar main colony se bahar aaya aur NH-6 me khade hokar auto ka intezaar karne laga….tabhi ek autowala mere paas aakar ruka…
“kaha malik…”auto rok kar auto wale ne mujhse pucha…
“Ganga-jamuna…itwari…”
“baitho…”
“hata nahi jaunga…”bolkar main auto se thoda door aa gaya…
“kyun nahi jaoge malik…”apni garden side se nikal kar us autowale ne pucha…
“mujhe tere auto ka number nahi pasand…upar se tera auto diesel se chalta hai jiske chalte humara environment ka santulan bigad raha hai aur main nahi chahta ki log ye bole ki Shri Arman ko apne earth ke environment ki koyi parvaah nahi hai…tu khud soch itna bada aadmi hokar main aisa chhota kaam karunga…”goggle lagate hue maine kaha “so best option for you is just get lost…”
Maine us auto me nahi gaya aur na hee uske baad aane wale agle teen auto me…problem wahi ki wo sab auto diesel se chalne wale the…
“ganga-jamuna, itwari chaloge kya…”finally jab ek petrol se chalne wala auto aaya toh use rukwa kar maine puchha…jiske baad wo auto wala aur uske auto me baithe sabhi log mujhe ghoor kar dekhne lage…
“aise kya dekh rahe ho tum sab…tum log bhi chalo….”
“dedh sau lagega…”
“arey tu do sau le liyo…lekin ekdum perfect point me chhodna padega…wo kya hai paidal chalne me energy loss ho jati hai”
“baitho phhir…”
Itwari yani ki Ganga Jamuna red light area pahuchane me mujhe yahi kuch 40-45 minutes lage aur aakhir me auto me main aur sirf wo autowala tha….
“koyi lafda toh nahi hota na idhar….”auto se utar kar maine puchha…
“kis chiz ka lafda bhai…sab kuch toh khulla hai…ab chaho toh video bana lo…yaha koyi kuch nahi bolne wala…yaha ki ladkiya chahe kitne hee kapde pahan le…logo ko wo nangi hee nazar aati hai…”
“le tu apna do sau pakad…maine toh tujhse yaha hone wale lafde ke bare me pucha tha…lekin tum toh lawda gyan hee chodne lage…mujhe koyi fark nahi padta ki kaun kis halat me hai”
“thik hai phhir…”paise jeb me rakhte hue us autowale ne ek taraf ishara kiya aur bola “bas daddu ke area me kadam mat rakhna….wo us taraf uska ilaka hai…warna katta chala dega…abhi ek hafte pahle ki hee baat hai…uske under ki ek rakhail apne premi ke sath bhagne ki koshish me thi…daddu ne pure ilaake me dauda-dauda kar us launde ko mara…”
“aur us rakhail ka kya hua…”
“uska toh pata nahi par kahte hai ki…daddu ne beeso aadmiyo ko ek sath uske kamre me bhej diya…pahle toh unhone us rakhail ke jism ko khoob masla aur phhir jaan se maar diya…isliye daddu ke ilaake me bilkul bhi mat jana…”
“acha thik hai… main yadi zinda raha toh wapas milunga…”autowale ko hath dikhate hue maine kaha
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Ganga-Jamuna….kitna pavitra name hai ye…pata nahi kis chutiye ne ye name is ilaake ko de diya tha.koyi kahta hai hai ye name do nritaki(dancer) Ganga aur Jamuna ki vazah se pada tha. Ganga-jamuna ki kya jhakkas arrangement thi…sadak ke left side me ek line se sirf ghar hee ghar bane the ,beech-beech me cigarette aur chay ke thele bhi the aur ghar ke samne char-paanch ladkiya…aurate baithi hui thi ya khadi thi…aur sabki kamar zero size…kuch gori thi toh kuch saanwali thi…par thi sab maal ki maal….us autowale ne sahi kaha tha…yaha ki ladkiya chahe jitne bhi kapde pahan le… nazar wo nangi hee aati hai…maine ek aur chiz jo gaur ki wo ye ki waha itne saare ghar the lekin ek bhi ghar ke saamne koyi mard jaat ka prani nahi tha…jaha dekho sirf maal hee maal…lekin sadak ke right side me jis taraf main chal raha tha udhar iske ulat hee mahol tha….sadak ke right side me badhiya badi-badi dukane thi…jaha mujhe aurat jaat ki koyi prani nazar nahi aa rahi thi…mujhe sadak ke right side me jo bhi dikhta wo ya toh koyi ladka hota…ya koyi aadmi ya phhir koyi budha…..aur sab apne-apne kaam me busy the…isliye maine bhi goggle lagaya aur cigarette peete hue apne kaam me busy ho gaya…main sadak ke right side me bane ek chay wale ke paas gaya aur bola…
“Daddu bhai kaha milenge….”
“kaun Daddu bhai…?”
“main police ka aadmi nahi hoon be…jo mujhse chhipa raha hai…mujhe toh bas kuch kaam hai Daddu se…”
“hum kono Daddu ko nahi janat hoon…”
“gadfatt kahi ka…”waha se aage badhte hue maine kaha…aur next thele wale ke paas gaya…jaha phhir se mujhe wahi sab kuch sun-ne ko mila jo ki mujhe pahle thele wale se sunne ko mila tha yani ki wo bhi ek number ka gadfatt aadmi tha…isliye abki baar main teesare thele wale ke paas gaya aur jate hee bola ki main police ka aadmi hoon jisase wo thele wala thoda saham gaya aur mere bina kuch puchhe hee bol pada…
“mazboori me ye sab karna padta hai sahib…warna kaun apni biwi ki dalali karna chahega…”
“jurm…jurm hota hai …chahe mazboori me kyun na kiya gaya ho…chal thane…”
“humka maaf kai do sahib…”
“chal nikal hazar rupaye…”
“hazar rupaye…oo toh abhi humre paas nahi hai…”hath jodte hue usne mujhse kaha…
“chal phhir ye bata ki Daddu kidhar rahta hai aur yadi tune bola ki kaun daddu…toh teri biwi ko toh chodunga hee…tujhe bhi thane me lejakar chodunga…isliye seedhe-seedhe apna muh khol aur Daddu ka address bata…”
“kaun Daddu…”
“sale dalle…”uski garden pakad kar dabate hue main bola “chal apna boriya-bistar bandh…aaj tujhe thane lejakr police ka danda teri gand me nahi dala toh mera name bhi ACP Arman nahi…”
“humka jaye do...” mere pair pakad kar rote hue wo bola aur tab meri fati ki kahi koyi panga na jaye…isliye maine use uthaya aur use chup karate hue bola….
“ek shart par…main tujhe chhodunga…pahle ye bata teri biwi kaha hai…”
“kyun…”
“ab ye bhi main hee batau…chal mujhe lekar…”
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Us thele wale ne apna thela khiska kar wahi paas me ek dusare thele wale ke paas apna thela khada kar diya aur mujhe lekar waha se chal pada…jaha usne apna thela laga rakha tha uske thik samne sadak ke us paar uska ghar tha…lekin wo mujhe peeche se ghuma kar le gaya… aur ghar ke peeche wala darwaza jor-jor se khatkhataya…
“aayi…”andar se ek aawaz aayi…
Aawaz toh normal thi lekin darwaza khulne ke baad jo maal bahar aayi wo normal nahi thi…wo BC itni hot aur itni jyada sexy thi ki mujhe ek pal ko laga ki mera pant me hee gir jayega…lekin maine khud ko control kiya aur andar gaya…mere andar jaane ke baad wo aadmi jo mujhe yaha tak lekar aaya tha waha se chup chap khisak liya…jiske baad us aurat ne andar se room band karke mujhe ek kamre me aane ka ishara kiya…maine pure ghar ka jayja liya…us ghar me teen kamre the…jisme se ek kamre ko un logo ne kitchen bana rakha tha…deewaro ki halat kafi jarzar thi aur mujhe thoda-thoda darr bhi lagne laga tha ki kahi deewar bhasak na jaye…par mere samne jo ek problem abhi thi wo ye ki main use ladki kahu ya aurat…same wahi problem jo Vandana Rathi ko dekhkar hui thi…isliye andar jakar maine cigarette jalate hue uska name puchha…
“Madhulika….”charpayi me baithte hue usne jawab diya
“huh,bakwas name…”
Main pahli baar kisi red light area me nahi aaya tha…aur jaisa ki mera past experience tha uske hisaab se ye sab itni gumsum nahi hoti hai…jitni ki ye hone ka dikhawa kar rahi hai…mujhe Arun ne bataya tha ki kaise jab wo randi chodne gaya tha…toh randi ne uske wallet se pura paisa chheen liya tha….uske hisaab se ya toh ye lawdi hoshiyari chod rahi hai ya phhir abhi-abhi dhandhe me aayi hai…par sabse jyada jis baat ne mujhe pareshan kiya wo ye ki ye us thele wale ki biwi bilkul nahi lagti…BC kaha wo kariya,takla 60 saal ka dikhne wala gandul aur kaha ye 28-29 saal ki rapchik maal…upar se kitni chikni hai ye aur taiyar toh aisi hui hai jaise ki miss world contest me participate karne wali ho…
Main wahi bistar se thodi door me baitha aur cigarette fookte hue Madhulika ko dekhta raha…wo nihayat hee gori..chikni thi aur koyi solid perfume laga rakhi thi…kamar ke upar usne sirf blouse pehan daal rakha tha , jo ki bahut kasa hua tha aur kamar ke neeche ek salwar…baaki pura portion khali tha…jisase mujhe shaq hua ki isne underwear pahni hogi ya nahi….
“chod na be…”maine khud se kaha…
“pagal hai kya…aise kaise chod du…”
“dekh lawda ,chodna hai toh chod nahi toh nikal idhar se…”
“ok”