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Nahane k baad main seedha apne dost TAHIR k paas gaya, wo aik medical store pe part time job karta tha.
Main: "Kaisa hai yaar." main ne us k paas ja k kaha.
Tahir: "Zabardast tu suna aaj yahan ka rasta kaise bhool gaya.?" Us ne mujhe dekhte houy kaha.
Main: "Yaar main panjab gaya hua tha phir wapas aaya to mere pepers shuru ho gaye, ab free hua hoon to socha tumhare saath kuch gappe shappe maar loon." Main ne aik chair par bethte houy kaha.
Itne mein aik aadmi wahan aaya us ne neend ki goliyan mangi, Tahir ne ussay wo goliyan de dein. Neend ki goliyan dekh kar mere shetaani dimaagh mein aik idia aaya.
Main: "Yaar Tahir ye neend ki goliyon aik patta mujhe bhi de." main ne ussay kaha.
Tahir: "Koun bhai kahin marne warne ka to irada nahi hai." Us ne mera mazak urrate houy kaha.
Main: "Nahi yaar... asl mein jab se Ammi panjab se aai hain unhain neend ki goli khaae bina neend nahi aati." main ne us se jhoot bolte houy kaha.
Tahir: "Pakka Ammi k liye chahiye." us ne phir kaha.
Main: "Haan yaar." main ne ussay tasali dilaate houy kaha.
Phir Tahir ne mujhe neend ki goliyon ka aik patta de diya. Us k baad main thorri der mazeed wahan betha aur phir apne ghar aa gaya. Ghar aa kar main ne sab k saath khana khaya aur jab Ammi bartan utha kar kitchen mein rakhne gain to main bhi un k peeche peeche kitchen mein chala gaya.
Main: "Ammi ye neend ki goliyan hain, inhain Abu k dhood k glass mein do aur baqi sab k dhood k glass mein aik aik goli pees kar mila kar dhood de dena hai." main ne ammi ko neend ki goliyon ka patta dete houy kaha.
Ammi: "Pees kar koun.?" Ammi ne goliyon ka patta lete houy poocha.
Main: "Pees kar is liye k goli jaldi dhood mein mix ho jae, aur yaad se mere aur apne dhood k glass mein nahi mila dena, nahi to..." Main ne hanste houy kaha.
Ammi: "Nahi to kia." Ammi ne bhi hanste houy kaha.
Main: "Agar goli apne dhood mein mila di to saari raat main lund pakarr k rota rahuga aur agar mere dhood k glass mein mula di to saari raat aap choot ko ragarrti hui roti rahengi hahahahahaha." Main ne hanste houy kaha.
Ammi: "Saajiddddd aahista bolo koi sunn lega." Ammi ne bhi hanste houy kaha.
Phir main thorri der mazeed wahan kharra raha aur phir kitchen se bahar aa kar sab k saath tv dekhne laga. Thorri der baad Ammi ne sab ko aik aik kar k dhood la k diya. Hum saare aik saath bethe tv dekh rahe thy.
Noor: "Acha baii mujhe to ab zoro ko neend aa rahi hai." Thorri der baad Noor ne angrrai lete houy kaha.
Noor k angrrai lene ka andaaz itna acha tha k main bata nahi sakta us k mamme tann kar mere saamne aa gaye thy, mujhe apne mammon ko taarrte houy Noor ne bhi dekh liya tha is liye jaldi se us ne apne baazu neeche kiye aur apne kamre mein chali gai.
Ammi: "Zari chalo tum bhi sone jaao kab se bethi jamaaiyan le rahi ho." Ammi ne Zari se kaha.
Phir Zari bhi uthi aur Noor k peeche peeche apne kamre mein chali gai. Main ne gardan morr k Wajid ki tarf dekha to wo sofe par leta so chuka tha, lehaza main ne ussay bahon mein utha kar us ki jaga pe sulaya, ussay sula kar main wapas tv dekhne beth gaya aur tv dekhne laga. Neend ki goliyon ka asar sab pe dheere dheere ho raha tha.
Abu: "Chalo Sajid betha tv band karo aur tum bhi sone k liye jaao." Thorri der baad Abu ne kaha.
Ye kehne k baad wo uthe aur Ammi se kaha.
Abu: "Chalo Parveen tum bhi chalo." Abu ne kaha.
Ammi: "App chale main aati hoon." Ammi ne kaha.
Phir Abu bhi apne bedroom mein chale gaye. Ab charo tarf se medaan saaf tha.
Main: "Chalo Parveen tum bhi chalo." Main ne abu ki naqal utaarte houy kaha.
Ammi meri baat sunn k hansne lagi phir uth kar tv band kiya aur mere qareeb aa k mere kaan k paas apna mouh la k kaha.
Ammi: "Tum upar chalo main unhain sula kar aati hoon meri jaan." Ammi ne ye kaha aur mere kaan k paas aik kiss kiya aur seedhi ho gai.
Main: "Main tumhara yahi intezaar kar raha hoon tum jaldi se apne pehle wale shohar ko sula kar apne doosre wale shohar k paas aao, phir dono mil kar saari raat masti karenge." Main ne hanste houy kaha.
Ammi: “Chupp badmaash kahin ka.” Ammi ne mere gaal par halka sa thaparr maarte houy kaha.
Phir Ammi apni gand matkaati hui apne bedroom mein chali gain aur main wahi betha raha. Ammi k jaane k baad main be-sabbri se un k waapas aane ka intezaar karne laga.
Ammi k bedroom mein jaane k baad main wahi sofe par hi let gaya aur aawaz kam kar k tv dekhne laga, tv dekhte dekhte meri aankh kab lagi pata nahi chala.
Ammi: “Utho meri jaan tumhari mehbooba aa gai hai.” Ammi ne mujhe uthaate houy kaha.
Main ne utha kar time dekha, raat ka aik baj raha tha, Ammi ko apne upar jhuka hua dekh kar main ne apni baahein phailaain aur unhain apne gale se laga liya.
Ammi: “Yahan nahi chalo upar chalte hain.” Ammi ne mujhe gale lagaate houy kaha.
Main: “Yahin pe hi theek hai aur wese bhi sab neend ki goliyan khaa k gehri neend so rahe honge.” Main ne unhain apni baahon mein bharte houy kaha.
Ammi: “Nahi… main kisi kisam ka koi khatra morr lena nahi chahti.” Ammi ne seedha hote houy kaha.
Main: “Hmmmmm acha phir guest room mein chalte hain ok.” Main ne sofe se uthte houy kaha.
Ammi: “Haan wahan theek hai.” Ammi ne kaha aur guest room ki taraf apne qadam bharrha diye.
Main: "Kaisa hai yaar." main ne us k paas ja k kaha.
Tahir: "Zabardast tu suna aaj yahan ka rasta kaise bhool gaya.?" Us ne mujhe dekhte houy kaha.
Main: "Yaar main panjab gaya hua tha phir wapas aaya to mere pepers shuru ho gaye, ab free hua hoon to socha tumhare saath kuch gappe shappe maar loon." Main ne aik chair par bethte houy kaha.
Itne mein aik aadmi wahan aaya us ne neend ki goliyan mangi, Tahir ne ussay wo goliyan de dein. Neend ki goliyan dekh kar mere shetaani dimaagh mein aik idia aaya.
Main: "Yaar Tahir ye neend ki goliyon aik patta mujhe bhi de." main ne ussay kaha.
Tahir: "Koun bhai kahin marne warne ka to irada nahi hai." Us ne mera mazak urrate houy kaha.
Main: "Nahi yaar... asl mein jab se Ammi panjab se aai hain unhain neend ki goli khaae bina neend nahi aati." main ne us se jhoot bolte houy kaha.
Tahir: "Pakka Ammi k liye chahiye." us ne phir kaha.
Main: "Haan yaar." main ne ussay tasali dilaate houy kaha.
Phir Tahir ne mujhe neend ki goliyon ka aik patta de diya. Us k baad main thorri der mazeed wahan betha aur phir apne ghar aa gaya. Ghar aa kar main ne sab k saath khana khaya aur jab Ammi bartan utha kar kitchen mein rakhne gain to main bhi un k peeche peeche kitchen mein chala gaya.
Main: "Ammi ye neend ki goliyan hain, inhain Abu k dhood k glass mein do aur baqi sab k dhood k glass mein aik aik goli pees kar mila kar dhood de dena hai." main ne ammi ko neend ki goliyon ka patta dete houy kaha.
Ammi: "Pees kar koun.?" Ammi ne goliyon ka patta lete houy poocha.
Main: "Pees kar is liye k goli jaldi dhood mein mix ho jae, aur yaad se mere aur apne dhood k glass mein nahi mila dena, nahi to..." Main ne hanste houy kaha.
Ammi: "Nahi to kia." Ammi ne bhi hanste houy kaha.
Main: "Agar goli apne dhood mein mila di to saari raat main lund pakarr k rota rahuga aur agar mere dhood k glass mein mula di to saari raat aap choot ko ragarrti hui roti rahengi hahahahahaha." Main ne hanste houy kaha.
Ammi: "Saajiddddd aahista bolo koi sunn lega." Ammi ne bhi hanste houy kaha.
Phir main thorri der mazeed wahan kharra raha aur phir kitchen se bahar aa kar sab k saath tv dekhne laga. Thorri der baad Ammi ne sab ko aik aik kar k dhood la k diya. Hum saare aik saath bethe tv dekh rahe thy.
Noor: "Acha baii mujhe to ab zoro ko neend aa rahi hai." Thorri der baad Noor ne angrrai lete houy kaha.
Noor k angrrai lene ka andaaz itna acha tha k main bata nahi sakta us k mamme tann kar mere saamne aa gaye thy, mujhe apne mammon ko taarrte houy Noor ne bhi dekh liya tha is liye jaldi se us ne apne baazu neeche kiye aur apne kamre mein chali gai.
Ammi: "Zari chalo tum bhi sone jaao kab se bethi jamaaiyan le rahi ho." Ammi ne Zari se kaha.
Phir Zari bhi uthi aur Noor k peeche peeche apne kamre mein chali gai. Main ne gardan morr k Wajid ki tarf dekha to wo sofe par leta so chuka tha, lehaza main ne ussay bahon mein utha kar us ki jaga pe sulaya, ussay sula kar main wapas tv dekhne beth gaya aur tv dekhne laga. Neend ki goliyon ka asar sab pe dheere dheere ho raha tha.
Abu: "Chalo Sajid betha tv band karo aur tum bhi sone k liye jaao." Thorri der baad Abu ne kaha.
Ye kehne k baad wo uthe aur Ammi se kaha.
Abu: "Chalo Parveen tum bhi chalo." Abu ne kaha.
Ammi: "App chale main aati hoon." Ammi ne kaha.
Phir Abu bhi apne bedroom mein chale gaye. Ab charo tarf se medaan saaf tha.
Main: "Chalo Parveen tum bhi chalo." Main ne abu ki naqal utaarte houy kaha.
Ammi meri baat sunn k hansne lagi phir uth kar tv band kiya aur mere qareeb aa k mere kaan k paas apna mouh la k kaha.
Ammi: "Tum upar chalo main unhain sula kar aati hoon meri jaan." Ammi ne ye kaha aur mere kaan k paas aik kiss kiya aur seedhi ho gai.
Main: "Main tumhara yahi intezaar kar raha hoon tum jaldi se apne pehle wale shohar ko sula kar apne doosre wale shohar k paas aao, phir dono mil kar saari raat masti karenge." Main ne hanste houy kaha.
Ammi: “Chupp badmaash kahin ka.” Ammi ne mere gaal par halka sa thaparr maarte houy kaha.
Phir Ammi apni gand matkaati hui apne bedroom mein chali gain aur main wahi betha raha. Ammi k jaane k baad main be-sabbri se un k waapas aane ka intezaar karne laga.
Ammi k bedroom mein jaane k baad main wahi sofe par hi let gaya aur aawaz kam kar k tv dekhne laga, tv dekhte dekhte meri aankh kab lagi pata nahi chala.
Ammi: “Utho meri jaan tumhari mehbooba aa gai hai.” Ammi ne mujhe uthaate houy kaha.
Main ne utha kar time dekha, raat ka aik baj raha tha, Ammi ko apne upar jhuka hua dekh kar main ne apni baahein phailaain aur unhain apne gale se laga liya.
Ammi: “Yahan nahi chalo upar chalte hain.” Ammi ne mujhe gale lagaate houy kaha.
Main: “Yahin pe hi theek hai aur wese bhi sab neend ki goliyan khaa k gehri neend so rahe honge.” Main ne unhain apni baahon mein bharte houy kaha.
Ammi: “Nahi… main kisi kisam ka koi khatra morr lena nahi chahti.” Ammi ne seedha hote houy kaha.
Main: “Hmmmmm acha phir guest room mein chalte hain ok.” Main ne sofe se uthte houy kaha.
Ammi: “Haan wahan theek hai.” Ammi ne kaha aur guest room ki taraf apne qadam bharrha diye.