Incest CHAH AIK KHUBSOORAT PARIWAR KI

[TIPU_SULTAN]

BHAI AGAR UPDATE SAHI NAA LAGE TOU WO BHI KHUL K BATAIN NAA MAIN AAPKE FEEDBACK HI TOU CHAHTA HOON
MAIN JUST LOVE YOU BHAI
YEAH SUPER UPDATE PADHNE HI NAHI AATA MAAIN YAHAN SEEKHNE AAYA HOON YE MERI FIRST STORY WRITING HAI MAIN AGLI STORY MAIN YE GHALTIAN NAHI KRNA CHAHTA SO JO CHEEZ BURI LAGE KHUL K BOLAIN AAPKI AISI SUPPORT SY HI MAIN SEEKHON GAA
YE MERI STORY NAHI AAPKI HAIN MERI STORY TAB TAK HOTI HAI JAB TAK MAIN UPDATE POST KRR NAHI DETA POST KRNE K BAAD YE SAB AAPKA HAI KHUL K BOLAIN MUJHY ACHA LAGE GAA OFCOURSE HAR INSAAN KO TAREEF ACHI LAGTI HAI BUT ISS KA MATLAB YE NAHI K WO JUST TAREEF HI SUNE BALKE USS KO APNI BURAI SUN K APNI GHALTI SUDHARNI BHI CHAHIE
BAAKI Q K YE AIK STORY HAI TOU MERY LIYE YE KOI BURAI NAHI HAI

 

[TIPU_SULTAN]

ASAL MAIN BRO MERA IRADA HAI K MINIMUM 100 UPDATES DOON ISS STORY KI AUR ISSI WAJAH SY MAINE YE CHOOSE KIA hai k main aik aise point prr story ka end kroon gaa jis end k aate aate system hero ko aik powerful but insan bana dy
powerful banane k liye pehle kamzor banana zaroori tha jiss ki wajah sy maine uss k rakhshas k jaisa shareer bhi dy k aik insan sy bus double power ful rakha lekin uss ko aik insan sy 5 guna ziada slow kr diya taa k wo inn 3 saal main bhi ziada sy ziada aik insan ko sambhal sake wo bhi tab jab wo iss ki girift main aa sake
iss ki faide
1 hero ka aaj tak koi dost nahi bana gaon main jo k uss ki low level prr hote huwe bhi sath dy (haan logon ny bura feel bhi kia kabhi kabhi aglon ko mana bhi kiya but har baar nahi)
2 hero jaan gaya k jo bhi krna hai khud hi krna hai
3 hero prr kisi ka koi ehsaan nahi aur hamara hero ehsaan rakhta nahi kisi ka ye aapko aagy samjh aaye gi

iss k nuksan

1 hero bura ban gaya magar utna jitna nahi chahiye tha
2 koi aisa dost nahi jis k sath mil k hero masti kr sake (ghar k bahir)
3 gaon main hero ko log har kisi sy pitne wala saand jaante hain like khuda ny sharir diya hai aur uss ka istemal nahi krta
4 gaon main koi bhi khaas pasand nahi krta

iss sab ka hal kiya hai
mela aur aany wala muqabla uss main hero khud ko proove kry gaa k ab bass

aur yaar agar main malaika k maa baap ko maarne ki koshish krta tou main uss k samne khud ko bura pesh krta q k koi mujhy tou maar ly main maaf krdoon ga dost bhi ban jaon gaa lekin koi mery papa ki taraf ghusse sy dekh bhi dy tou phir nahi aur ye cheez maine khud ki zindagi sy uthai hai
maine itni maar khai hai k soch lo k bas mery sath sex scene nahi huwa iss story ka wrna jitni maar iss hero ko padi hai utni tou kam sy kam main khaa chuka hoon
like meri zindagi main meri maa baap behen (bhai hai nahi tou iss liye wo shamil nahi) chachi chacha cousins saare jo mery jitne yaa bade hain apne rishtedaar jin sy main 4 5 baar sy ziada baar mila hoon 14 saal ki zindagi main main har aik sy pitta hoon aur itna pitta hoon k sach main jab tak tou main chota tha maar maar k mera gobar aur peshab tak nikala gaya hai
main aik middle class ladka tha aur meri baaki family strong and kasam sy meri maa mujhy unn ki maar sy bachane ki liye kamre k ander baandh deti thi taa k main bahir naa nikloon aur koi ghalti na kroon aur mujhy maar na pade
ye hero ko jo maine kamzori di thi na kamar ki haddi ki uss ki jagah main kamzor tha bachpan main jis wajah sy main ziada derr peshab nahi rokk paata tha
so main kam bhi maar likhoon tou itni kam bhi baakion ko ziada lagti hai
and even ye jo sadia(2nd name) ka chracter hai ye meri aik teacher ka chracter tha jis ka beta nahi tha aur beti ko aisi bemari thi k uss ki zindagi jiada nahi likhi thi khuda ny so wo mujhy apna beta maanti thi
haan bhale hi maine uss ko apni mohabbat k baare main nahi bataya but wo bhi mujhy meri maa k jaisa hi pyar krti thi
aur sachi batana bhool gaya k meri maa papa sy jo maar thi wo meri ghaltion aur zidd ki wajah sy parti
aur kabhi kabhi iss wajah sy k main har waqt rota q rehta tha (jaisa k india pakistan main hota hai)

 

[TIPU_SULTAN]

aur sex waali kamzori mujhy bhi kaafi feel hui issi wajah sy maine update 18 main sex prr kaafi focus kia aur takreeban koshish kroon gaa k aage bhi main ache sex scene likh paon

 

[TIPU_SULTAN]

malaika k liye tipu k just wo story wala pyar bhi meri zindagi sy hi hai
name aur hain real life chracters k but yeah ye baat bhale hi manne k liye sahi nahi hai but main almost 2010 yaa 2011 sy aik ladki ko chahta hoon just iss base prr k unn dino jab meri aik czn k ilawa koi acha dost nahi tha unn dino wo meri achi dost thi aur ab mujhy sahi sy yaad nahi k uss sy kia ghalti hui aur uss ny q mujh sy maafi maangi but yeah ye kisi ki meri zindagi main mery hosh main aane sy ab tak pehli maafi thi aur uss ki wo maafi
mery dill main jaa k lagi aur main nahi jaanta tha k pyar kia hota hai but itna jaanta tha k husband wife sath sath rehte hain so maine apni czn ko wo baat batai (jo k maine story main sadia ko batai) aur aaj tak iss umeed k bharose betha hoon k uss ki shadi nahi hui ho gi (q k main uss sy 250 km door hoon ab)
aur mery kamyaab hone tak nahi ho gi baaki jaisa k maine kaha tha k main apni caste in major 5 main hi rakhoon ga tou maan lain k meri caste low nahi hai aur ab tou kaafi karam hai khuda (paison k mamle main bhi) tou shayad uss k mom dad maan jain

 

[TIPU_SULTAN]

main aapki salah prr amal kroon gaa aur ainda behtari krny ki bhi koshish kroon gaa baaki main in red lines ka bhi kisi sy ilaaj pata krwata hoon

 

[TIPU_SULTAN]

main aapki salah prr amal kroon gaa aur ainda behtari krny ki bhi koshish kroon gaa baaki main in red lines ka bhi kisi sy ilaaj pata krwata hoon

yaar maine kaafi dekha hai update 1 2 3 main aisa kuch bhi nahi jiss sy openly sabit ho k ye under age character ny kia hai haan baaki ye hai k ab q k hero 18 ka hai tou wo jitna time uss ny practice ki aur usse sy pehle shadi ye masla bana sakta hai

 

[Devil0011]

Review....

Koi Update Samjh ke mat padh lena...

Kaafi Time baad review de raha hoon story aapki follow kar raha tha... But Review tabhi sahi nikalta hai jab story thodi aage badhe...

First off all Hat's off Daily Update likhna... Aasan kaam nahi... Kaafi free time chahiye hota hai iske liye saath mai dimag lagana... Plot yaad rakhna... Naam yaad rakhna... Likhna usko... Ufff... Kaafi hectic kaam hai... Aur aap Daily Update de rahe ho... Iske liye appreciation banti hai aapki...

Review Time...

Pehle Story mai Positives par baat kar lete hain...

1 - sabse bada positive iska Daily Update... Hi hai... Jo kam se kam 20 min reading time ke saath aata hai... Jo kaafi bade bade writer's nahi de paate hai aap de rahe hai....

2- story me jiss hisaab se System Mila hero ko.... Hmmm mujhe laga hero Venom na ban jaye... But... Kaafi aachi writing thi aapki...

3- Tipu aur Malika ka Bond abhi tak Highlight hai story ka... Jisko padhne mai kaafi maja aa raha hai... Malika ka pagalpan aur Tipu ka bebak andaaz...

4- Tipu and Sadia ka relation bhi padhne me maja aa raha hai... Maa bete ka rishta... Bina kisi hawas ke... Hmmm... Kaafi rochak hai...

5- System Sadi ke Convo beech mai comedy kaafi majedaar hai... Isse Story me ek aur element add ho jata hai... Jo ki kayi stories mai missing hota hai....

Yeh sab positive part tha story mai jo mujhe abhi tak pasand aaya jiski wajah se story mai juda huun... Baaki negetive nahi sudhaar keh sakte hai unn point par baat karte hai jo kaafi lambe hai... I hope aap dil par nahi lenge meri baaton ko... Sirf aapki writing improve karne ke liye kar raha hoon mai... Qyuki aapki story mai kaafi potential hai joki... New reader's ko jodne mai madat karega... Tou chaliye shuru karte hain...

1- sable pehla point aata hai iska CAPITAL FONT I know aap pehle disclaimer mai explain kar chuke ho... Aap kyun likh kare ho Capital mai but... As Reader mai aapko btana chahunga... Kaafi mushkil hoti hai padhne mai... Qyuki starting se humari Aankhen Capital Font dekh kar kuch alag tareeke se react karti hai... Pata nahi chalta ek word aur dusre word mai gapp... Yeh baat mai reader ke saath saath purana writer hone ke naate keh raha hoon... Kisi aur purane reader se bhi puchnge tou woh yehi kahega... Mujhe kaafi muskil ho rahi padhne mai baaki jaisa aapko theek Lage...

2- Yeh Story starting se Sex Story ke jaise chal rahi hai jisme Humiliation , Pissing , Scat , Torture , Forced jaise scene abhi tak dekhne ko mile hai... Jo ki padhne mai Unique hai but... Rules section ko Kaafi hit kar raha hai... Humiliation, pissing sahi hai baaki Torcher, Forced and Scat Sex... Rules guidelines mai aate hai iska aapko dhyan rakhna hoga... Underage sex se bhi bachna hai koi bhi character 18 se pehle sex nahi karega kisi story mai... Age mention na karna... Se bhi gadbad hone ki sambhavna kaafi jayada hai... Aap part ko edit kar sakte hai... Ek baar rules section ko check karke... Forced , Torcher and Scat kaafi disturbing hota hai... Iss chiz ka khyaal rakhiye...

3- Sex story mai proper Sex scene na hona... Jaisa feel ho Raha hai... Beena Aur Rimsha ke saath first Intimidation kaafi badhiya tha uske baad halaki usme Forced aur Scat bhi tha but padhne mai badhiya laga... Baki Kafisa ke saath First sex badhiya tha... Baaki sab Jagah aisa feel hua ki aapne bas likh Diya... Example:- Bhanu ko kitchen mai Pakda bas Lund daal kar nikal liya...

Story Starting se mai ise sex story ke jaise padh raha hoon na ki Fantasy Supernatural powers waali... Tou aise adhoore Sex hona... Maja nahi aaya Padhne mai ( garam karke thanda hi chodd diye ) Sudhaar isme yehi ho sakta hai... Proper Sex ke saath Gif yaa picture add karna jaise aapne Beena Aur Rimsha ke time kiya tha... Baaki cheezon ke saath Sex bhi important hai iss story ke liye... Baaki Scene kaise likhna hai iske liye aap...

https://xforum.live/threads/gaon-ki-khani.121707/

Isko padh sakte hai aur mujhe yakeen hai aap isse bhi aacha likh Sakte hain...

4- Humara Hero Tipu... Padi Lakdi ander le leta hai... Din par Din Dusman badte jaa rahe hai kon kab badla le le pata nahi... Har Dusre Update mai ek new Villian Add ho jaa raha hai... Isko Story ke liye aacha aur bura dono keh sakte ho... Jaha Malika ke saath Jadap padhne mai maja aata hai wohi MIA ke saath Fijul ki Dushmani... Aur Ek Hacker ka Ek System Owner se jayada powerfull hona.... Tipu ka waha se bhaag Jana... Yeh kuch samjh nhi aaya... Ek System Owner hone ke naate Tipu ko Ek System Owner hi peeche hatne par majbur kar sakta hai... Abhi tou System hone ke bawajood... Usko pakad kar rassi se baandh diya jata hai... Peeta jata hai , itni strength kiss kaam ki Body kiss kaam ki Brown Stroman jaisi ki rassi ko na toad sake hero... Aur System... Khair Brown Stroman ko aapne dekh hoga WWE mai usne Truck palat diya tha... Aur yaha ek Rassi na khol saka kaafi Disappointing tha padhne mai...

5- Pta nahi ek Sorry ke liye Tipu ka Malika ke liye itna Caring aur Pyaar hona... Hmmm iske peeche koi Aur Story hoti Kyun Tipu ko Pyaar hai Malika se... Padhne mai kaafi Maza aayega... Isko Improve kar sakte ho Past ka kuch seen dikha kar... Kyuki Ek Galti maaf kar dene se kisi ko pyaar tou nahi ho jata... Baaki abhi tak aur kuch reveal nahi hua hai... But jaisa padhne ko mila usi hisaab se bataya Maine...

6- Kuch bareekiyan Writer ko behtar se behtareen bana deti hai aapki Story ka Plot se ke timing superb hai aapki writing bhi aachi hai... Magar kiss hisaab se likh rahe ho samne reader ko samjh aayega ki nahi yeh bhi kaafi important hota hai... Jaise ki maine aapko pehle point mai kaha CAPITAL FONT ke saath saath proper spacing bhi hona jaruri hai... Ek sentence se dusre sentence par gapp dena bhi jaroori hai saath mai... Conversation mai Do logo ki baat ho rahi tou pata chalna chahiye pehle ek ne yeh baat boli fir dusre ne yeh... Aapke Update mai uper se neeche tak kahi bhi spacing nahi hai... No doubt update ki length kaafi badhiya hai but aap thoda space de ek paragraph se dusre par jayenge waha bhi thoda gapp denge tou yakeenan writer ke taur par aap kaafi progress karoge... Example ke liye... Mera Review hi le lo... Proper Space ke saath saath aapko Ek Conversation se Dusre mai pata Chala jayega... Likhte aap badhiya ho but likhna kaise hai isper thoda dhyaan dijiye....

7- Last point salah hai meri... Manoge tou kaafi lambi story chalegi aapki yeh saath mai views ke saath saath reader's bhi badhenge... Buss Ek cheez ka Khayal rakhna hai Forced sex aur Rape kaafi thin line hoti hai... Kisi moderator ne pakad liya tou Story ko ban kar dega agar Rape ko dekha gaya tou.... Saath hi pehla Sex Scene jisme Tipu Underage hai usko bhi Edit kar do... Underage Content Likhna tou Kya Photo bhi allow nahi hai forum par... Mai kaafi impressed hoon aapki story se nahi chahunga kisi aise content ke chalte bann ho jaye... Aur Mere saath saath baaki Reader's aur aapka bhi Mood kharab ho... Tou khayal rakhna...

Baaki... Kuch reh tou nahi gaya... Abhi baat karne ke liye... 2013 se story padh raha hoon... Kaafi experience se itne saari baatein aapko kahi hai Bura na maniyega... Aapke ander potential dekha maine story likhne ke liye isliye apko chetane ke saath Salah dena mera farz tha baaki jaisa aapko theek Lage... Koi bhi baat khrab lagi ho tou duman mat samjhiyega... Baaki abhi itna hi tha bolne ko...

Sirf itna hi khunga jate jate...Hope Next Mera jab Review aaye aapki Story par kuch sudhar dekhne ko milega....


Baaki Take care... Best of luck...

Wah Bhai absolutely har aik baat point to point thi. Same wohi cheezein jo main ne bhi feel ki thi. Bas ab umeed hai k apne writer babu in cheezo ko add up krein gy

 

[Devil0011]

asal main yaar mera khayal hai mujhy font style change krna chahiye like abhi main ye sab small letters main likh raha hoon tou wo saali neechy line aa jaati hai ghalat wali uss wajah sy mera dhyaan baar baar uss par jaata hai

1 BAAKI AGAR ISS TYPE KA FONT RAKHON TOU KIA SAHI RAHEGA ?
2 BAAKI AGAR ISS TYPE KA FONT RAKHON TOU KIA SAHI RAHEGA ?

BHAI Apki is problem ka solution bhi yahi hai k setting se mistakes mark-up krne wale option ko off kardo. Actually laptop English language k words smjh k mark kry ga e kyu ke ap tou words hindi k likh rahe hu aur words English language k according galat e manein jaein gy

 

[Mahesh007]

Update plz

 

[TIPU_SULTAN]

BHAI Apki is problem ka solution bhi yahi hai k setting se mistakes mark-up krne wale option ko off kardo. Actually laptop English language k words smjh k mark kry ga e kyu ke ap tou words hindi k likh rahe hu aur words English language k according galat e manein jaein gy

maine mark wale issue ko tou remove kr diya lekin ye jo saale bade chote hain unn ki wajah sy mujhy halki uljhan hoti hai khair aapko agli update main pata chal jaaye gaa k kitni maine uss waqt likhi kitni iss message k baad aur aaj tou update main time bohut ziada lag gaya hai almost 6 ghante sy laga taar likh raha hoon aur abhi tak 24 pages huwe hain
khud ki ghaltian sudharne main kaafi time lagta hai naa yaar ooper sy aap ny extra wale update jo maine iss liye bana k rakhy hote the k kabhi dil na huwa likhne ka tou post kr diya wo waly bhi ly liya

 

[TIPU_SULTAN]

Update plz

yaar thodi rehti hai abhi bhi maine apni speed tou pakdi hui hai lekin mind hathon sy slow hai aur hath mind sy dono aik raftar main chalte tou ghante main likh deta