Thriller DARK GIRL (Completed)

[The Immortal]

First of all I want to thank Vampire brother, he has written a very good story, he has won the hearts of all of us And at the same time thank you very much Immortal brother, We were able to read this story only after you posted the story. The story is so brilliantly written that after receiving an update, the desire to read another update increases.
The story is about a missing girl whom everyone is trying to find. Something new is seen at every turn of the story. Gradually all the secrets are revealed, there is no lack of suspense. There are also some funny scenes in the story like the one asking for donations. Each character played his role well. Saawli's case is slowly getting complicated. First Joshi then Gitanjali and now Khan also died. Sharafat bhai's lovely threats What should I say now, the stories dialogue is tremendous. While trying to solve this problem, Aditya finds himself implicated.
After reading the story it seems that there is a real story, now I do not know that it is real. Now the story has reached the drug dealer. The history of Pratap Raghuvanshi is interesting. This story is confusing. Raghuvanshi herself called Sharma and Bijli also died. The one whom Sharma talks to, dies and now Nisha and her husband also die. Saloni also lied.
Khan is alive, the hotel boy said that the policemen have no faith but Sharma could not understand this. I never thought that Khan could do it all.
Can't understand what to say after reading the whole story. I'll just say that I loved the story and if you have another vampire brother story then give me a link to it. Thank You again...

https://xforum.live/threads/raaz.5527/

 

[Siraj Patel]

Hello, Ladies & Gentleman,
We are so glad to Introduce Ultimate Story Contest of this year.

Jaise ki aap sabhi Jante Hain is baar Hum USC contest chala rahe hain aur Kuch Din pahle hi Humne Rules & Queries Thread ka announce kar diya tha aur ab Ultimate Story Contest ka Entry Thread air kar diya hai jo 17th, Nov 2019, 11:59 PM ko close hoga.

Khair ab main point Par Aate Hain Jaisa ki entry thread aired ho chuka hai isliye aap Sabhi readers aur writers se Meri personally request hai ki is contest mein aap Jarur participate kare aur Apni kalpnao ko shabdon ka rasta dikha ke yaha pesh kare ho sakta hai log use pasand kare.
Aur Jo readers nahi likhna chahte wo bakiyo ki story padhke review de sakte hai mujhe bahut Khushi Hogi agar aap is contest mein participate lekar apni story likhenge to.

Ye aap Sabhi Ke liye ek bahut hi sunhara avsar hai isliye Aage Bade aur apni Kalpanao ko shabdon Mein likhkar Duniya Ko dikha De.

Ye ek short story contest hai jisme Minimum 800 words se maximum 6000 words tak allowed hai itne hi words mein apni story complete Karni Hogi, Aur ek hi post mein complete karna hai aur Entry Thread mein post karna hai.
I hope aap mujhe niraash nahi Karenge aur is contest Mein Jarur participate Lenge.



On Behalf of Admin Team
Regards :- Siraj Patel

 

[Noir]

One of the best story written by The Vampire

 

[TheBlackBlood]

Credit goes to the original writer The Vampire .

Immortal bhai, isi story ki baat kar rahe the na aap.???

Chaliye The Vampire bhai ki is story ka lutf lete hain ab,,,,,,

 

[TheBlackBlood]

Chapter 1 - Saloni

Vo ek normal sa din tha, par mujhe koi idea nahi tha ke us din se mere liye museebaton ka ek aisa silsila shuru hone wala tha jiska andaza main shayad khwaab mein bhi nahi laga sakta tha.
Agar mujhe zara bhi pata hota ke aane waledino mein mere saath kya hone wala hai toh shayad main us din subah sokar uthta hinahi ya uthte hi kahin bhaag jata. Chhutti par chala jata, kahin ghoomne nikal jata, bhale hi tirath yatra par chala jata par shehar se nikal jata. Par maine aisa kuchh nahi kiya. Vo ek aam sa din tha aur maine vahi kiya jo main ek aam se din mein karta tha.
Apna boss khud hone ka sabse bada fayda ye hota hai ke you are not answerable to anyone. Jo karna hai aapne karna hai. Koi puchhne wala nahi, koi batane wala nahi. Jab marzi mein aaye utho, jab dil kare so jao. Jab chaho kaam par jao aur jab mood na bane tab mat jao.
Kehne ka matlab ye ke mere 9 baje sokar uthne ki vajah sirf yahi thi ke main apna boss khud tha.
Aur us din toh had ho gayi thi. Maine aankh kholkar ek nigah ghadi par daali toh subah ke 10 baj rahe the.
"Uth ja mohan pyaare" Apne aap se kehta hua main bistar par uth betha.
Saamne deewar par lage poster par bada bada likha tha,
"You wont get rich sitting here all day"
Vo poster maine ye soch kar lagaya tha ke shayad vo mujhe motivate karega. Jab main aalas mein betha time paas karunga toh mujhe yaad dilayega ke mujhe kaam karna chahiye kyunki mujhe zindagi mein ameer hona hai. Ek bada sa ghar kharidna hai, ek lambi si gaadi leni hai. Bank balance itna badha dena hai ke Bank bhi balance na kar paaye.
Par nahi, aisa kuchh bhi nahi ho raha tha. Na toh main ameer ho raha tha aur na hi voposter mujhe motivate kar pa raha tha.
"Yeah i know. I am not getting rich anywaysso doesnt matter" Khud se kehta hua main bed se utha aur bathroom ki taraf badha.
Cell phone mein 10 missed calls thi par maine uth kar dekhne ki zaroorat nahi samjhi. Janta tha ke missed calls kiski thi.
Routine ke mutaabik stove par chaai rakhi aur music system on kar diya. Kamra Rafi sahab ki meethi aawaz se goonj utha.
Khoya khoya chand, khula aasman ......
Unki sur mein apni besuri aawaz milata main sofe par beth gaya aur ek cigrette jalayi.
Mera maanna tha ke Hindustan mein 3 hi singers aise hue jinki na koi barabari kar paya aur na hi koi unse aage nikal paya. Ek Rafi Sahab, Ek lata Mangeshkar aur teesre Kishore Da. Mere poore music collection mein 70% songs sirf in 3 singers ke hi the.
Sofe par betha chaai banne ka intezaar karte hue main cigarette ke kash laga hi raha tha ke darwaze ki ghanti baji.
Kaash mujhe pata hota ke darwaza kholne par mere saath kya hone wala hai toh main darwaza kholta hi nahi. Saara din balki aanewale 7 din aur kamre mein hi band betha rehta par darwaza bilkul nahi kholta. Par nahi, maine darwaza khola. Poora khola.
"Aditya? Aditya Sharma?"
_________________________

Waaah bahut hi khubsurat,,,,,
Shuruaat badi hi dilchashp hai. Aisa kya hone wala hai is insaan ke sath jiska naam aditya sharma hai aur darwaze ke baahar aisi kain si bala aa gayi hai jiska taatparya shayad inhi baato se hai.??? Khair dekhte hain,,,,,,

 

[The Immortal]

Waaah bahut hi khubsurat,,,,,
Shuruaat badi hi dilchashp hai. Aisa kya hone wala hai is insaan ke sath jiska naam aditya sharma hai aur darwaze ke baahar aisi kain si bala aa gayi hai jiska taatparya shayad inhi baato se hai.??? Khair dekhte hain,,,,,,

Ye story un Kuch stories Mai se hai jinhe ek Baar padhna suru kro toh ant tak padhne par majboor ho jate hain .

 

[TheBlackBlood]

Ye story un Kuch stories Mai se hai jinhe ek Baar padhna suru kro toh ant tak padhne par majboor ho jate hain .

Saha kaha bhai, bahut hi dilchashp story hai, thoda thoda karke padh raha hu,,,,,

 

[TheBlackBlood]

Chapter 3 - Policewala

Agle din subah uthkar maine Nisha ko phone kiya toh usne utha liya.
"Kal kahan thi sara din? Kitna phone kiya maine tujhe. Aur office kyun band tha?" Maine uske call receive karte hi sawalon ki jhadi laga di.
"Kitna phone kiya tha maine aapko kal subah ye batane ke liye ke office nahi aa paoongi. Par aap toh aise ghode bech kar sote ho ke murde bhi sharma jaayen" Usne jawab diya.
"Achha maine phone nahi uthaya toh tune bhi apna phone band kar diya?"
"Office aa rahe ho na aaj. Vahin milo, poori baat batati hoon"
"Theek hai. Main thoda der se aaoonga" Maine bed se uthte hue kaha.
"Ismein kaun si nayi baat hai" Usne kaha aur haste hue phone rakh diya.
Kuchh der baad main taiyyar hokar ghar se nikla aur sidha Chembur police station pahuncha.
Vo mera bachpan ka dost tha, mera langotiya yaar. Bachpan mein ham ek hi school gaye, ek hi colony mein rahe, saath khele aur saath saath hi apni professional life shuru ki. Usne Mumbai police join kar li aur maine apni agency khol li.
Inspector Munawwar Khan, short mein Munna, Chembur police station mein bataur Police Inspector tainaat tha. Chunki mera kaam aisa tha ke mera wasta aksar policewalo se padta tha toh vo mera bachpan ka dost hone ke naate hamesha mere kaam aata tha.
"Vo aaye hain mehfil mein chandi lekar,
Ke Roshni mein nahane ki raat aayi hai "
Mujhe aata dekh vo uth khada hua aur apnebaahen phailata hua meri taraf badha.
Uska sunaya sher sunkar main chaunk pada.
"Ye kahan suna tune?" Maine use gale lagate hue puchha. Kal raat yahi lines mujhedekh kar Bijli ne bhi kahi thi.
"Jagjit Singh ki bahut famous ghazal hai, kyun?" Vo ghoom kar vaapis table ke doosri aur apni seat par ja betha aur main uske saamne beth gaya.
"Nahi aise hi. Kal bhi mujhe dekh kar kisi ne same lines kahin thi" Maine apna cigarette ka packet nikala.
"Pehli baat toh ye thi ke cigarette agar tunejalayi toh baaki ka poora din yahin jail mein bitayega aur doosra ye ke kaun thi vo?" Usne muskurate hue puchha.
"Pehli baat toh ye ke Jail jaane ko main taiyyar hoon basharte ke andar tu cigarettepine de" Maine usi ke andaaz mein uski baat ka jawab diya "Aur doosra ye ke tujhe kaise pata ke vo ladki hi thi, ladka bhi toh hosakta hai"
"Dekh unless tu haal filhal mein Gay ban gaya ho, mujhe poora yakeen hai ke koi ladki hi hogi pakka. Aur agar tu sahi mein Gay ho gaya hai toh bhai sahab darwaza udhar hai, utho aur chalte bano. Mujhe apni izzat pyaari hai" Uski baat par ham dono hi dil khol kar hase.
"Nahi fikar mat kar teri izzat abhi salamat hai " Maine kaha.
"Kya lega. chaai mangaoon?" Usne puchha.
"Nahi rehne de. Nashta ghar se karke hi nikla tha. Ek kaam se aaya hoon"
"Haan bol na meri jaan, tere liye jaan haazirhai"
Vo bachpan se hi kaafi dabang mijaaz ka raha tha. Hamesha apni akad mein rehta tha aur apne dil ki hi karta tha. Kisi ko faaltubolne nahi deta tha aur agar koi bol jaaye toh pal bhar mein haath chhod deta tha. Aaye din school aur college mein uske jhagde hote rehte tha aur mahine mein kam se kam ek baar toh uske maan baap kouski shikayaten sunne ke liye school aana hipadta tha.
Aur shayad uska ye nature hi uske police mein bharti hone ki sabse badi vajah tha. Vo hamesha apni hi chalane ki koshish kartatha aur vardi pehenne ke baad toh use aisa karne ka sarkari license mil gaya tha.
Police force join karne ke baad vo theek vaisa hi policewala bana jaisa ke hamari hindi films mein dikhaya jata hai. Ek bahut hi kaaiyyan kism ka insaan jise Uper ki kamai se use koi shikayat nahi thi, rishwat lene ko hamesha taiyyar rehta tha, Had darje ka be-imaan, 2 second mein apni baatse palat jaaye aur munh ke bajaay haath se zyada baat kare.
Par in sabse alag mere liye vo aaj bhi vahi Munna tha jo mere bachpan ka dost tha. Mere liye kuchh bhi karne ko hamesha taiyyar rehne wala mera vo dost jo mere liye mere sage bhai se kam nahi tha aur yahi darja mera bhi uski nazar mein tha. Bahar ki duniya ke liye bhale vo kitna hi bada kamina aur be-imaan kyun na tha, mujhe usne kabhi kisi baat ke liye inkaar nahi kiya aur jo kaha, vo hamesha kiya.
"Abhi haal filhal mein koi ladki ka case aaya hai kya kahin? Koi gumshuda, koi rape vagerah, kahin kisi ladki ki koi laash baramad hui ho ya kisi ladki ne koi complaint file ki ho?" Maine puchha.
_________________________

Waaah kya baat hai vampire bhai. Kisi bhi case ko kaise investigate karna hai ye koi vampire bhai se sikhe aur story me thrill suspense kaise create karna ye bhi.

Immortal bhai shukriya aapka ki aapne itni behtareen story ke bare me mujhe bataya. Yakeenan ye mere test ki story hai. Mujhe aisi hi thrill suspense se bhari huyi stories pasand hain. Jisme bheja fry ho jaye aur iske baavjood ye na taad paye koi ki hakikat kya hai.

 

[TheBlackBlood]

Hostel se hokar main vaapis office pahuncha toh vahan Khan mera intezaar kar raha tha.
"Tu yahan kya kar raha hai?" Maine use dekh kar puchha.
"Bhajiya tal raha hoon, khayega?" Usne jawab diya.
"Haan par chatni sirf hari wali dena, laal wali mujhe pasand nahi" Maine bhi usi ke andaaz mein jawab diya.
"Haan of course, teekha hi pasand hai tujhe toh tabhi itna teekha bol bhi leta hai"
"Matlab?" Maine apni chair par beth kar cigarette ka packet nikala par jab Khan ne mujhe ghoor kar dekha toh maine vaapis rakhd diya.
"Idhar se guzar raha tha toh socha tujhse milta chalun. Joshi se mila tha tu aaj?" Usne sawal kiya.
"Bada tagda network hai tera, abhi ghanta bhar bhi nahi hua aur tujh tak khabar bhi pahunch gayi" Maine hairan hote hue dekha.
"Usi ka phone aaya tha mere paas"
"Achha? Kya keh raha tha?"
"Keh raha tha mujhse ke main apne paaltu kutte ko uske case se bahar rakhun" Usne kaha.
"Kutta bhi hai tere paas?" Maine haste hue puchha.
"Mazak mat uda Aditya. Tu achhi tarah janta hai ke vo kaafi khatarnaak aadmi hai. Ye jo usne sharafat ka choga pehen rakha hai na, iski vajah se kaafi uper tak pahunch hai uski"
"Haan toh?" Main dono kohniyan table par rakh kar aage ko hota hua bola "Kehna kya chah raha hai?"
"Sirf ye kehna chah raha hoon ke thoda dhyaan se chal. Aur main toh kahunga ke case chhod hi de, koi doosra pakad le"
"Case chhod doon? Rozi roti pe kyun laat maar raha hai yaar. Aisa toh kuchh bhi nahi hua abhi"
"Hone se pehle hi baat maan le. Tu Joshi ko janta nahi. Na vo tujhe pasand karta hai aurna mujhe aur agar tu uske raaste mein aaya toh tujhe lapente ke liye usse jo ban padega karega"
"Dekh" Maine aage badhkar uska haath pakda "I appreciate your concern. Bhai hai tu mera aur main teri baat sun bhi raha hoon. Main sambhal kar rahunga. Filhal mujhe aisa koi andesha lag nahi raha par phir bhi agar aage baat bigadti hui nazar aayi, to jo tu kahega main vahi karunga. Happy now?"
Usne bhi haan mein sar hilaya.
"Tu sirf ye batane aaya tha mujhe?"
"Nahi aaya toh isliye tha ke yahin paas mein kuchh kaam se aaya tha. Ittefaq ki baat thi ke jab is taraf aa raha tha, tab hi Joshi ka phone aa gaya.
"Hmmm. Khayega kuchh?" Maine sawal kiya.
"Nah" Usne inkaar kiya "Abhi khaake hi aaya tha"
"Vo ladki ke baare mein kuchh pata chala?" Maine Saanwli ke baare mein puchha.
"Dekh bhai jahan jahan tune dekhne ko kaha tha maine dekha par kuchh nahi mila"
"Nothing at all?"
"Nahi. Maine traffic accidents ke records check kiye. Sadak haadso mein koi aisi maut nahi hui jiski shinakht na hui ho. Koi aisi laash filhal morgue mein nahi padi jiski pehchan na ki gayi ho. Municipality walo ne ek laash jalayi zaroor thi par vo Saanwli ki ho nahi sakti.
"Matlab?"
"Matlab ke ek buddhi aurat ki laash mili thi kuchh din pehle, koi nahi janta tha ke kaun thi na koi pucchhne aaya aur na records mein koi complaint mili. Kuchh din intezaar karke Municipality walon ke jala diya"
"Hmmm ... that was a dead end"
"Tu ajeeb hai vaise" Usne haste hue mujhsekaha "Koi khota hai toh log pehle ye pata karte hain ke vo aakhri baar kahan tha, kiske saath tha, kisne dekha tha use, kahan rehta tha, kya karta tha vagerah vagerah you know taaki kuchh pata lage. Tu sidha hi use laashon ki list mein dhoondh raha hai"
"Apna apna kaam karne ka tarika hai yaar" Maine kaha "Jahan tune dekha vo bhi ek aisijagah thi ke jahan mujhe us ladki ka naam mil sakta tha par mila nahi. Toh shuru mein hi maine ye option apni list se nikaal diya. Mil jaati toh mujhe dhakke hi na khane padte. Ab at least case ke shur mein hi mainye janta hoon ke vo kisi sadak durghatna mein nahi mari aur na hi uski laash kahin lawaris batake jalayi gayi"
Khan ke jaane ke baad main kaafi der tak betha sochta raha. Jaane kyun mujhe kaafi ummeed si thi ke uske paas se mujhe koi nako matlab ki information zaroor milegi. Aisalagne ki mere paas ek bhi thos vajah nahi thi par ye gut feeling ya sixth sense keh lijiye, meri ummeed kaafi zyada thi jo ki ab nakaam nikli.
"Chal kahin bahar khane chalte hain yaar" Maine ghadi ki taraf dekhte hue Nisha se kaha. Dopahar ka waqt ho gaya tha.
"Aur ye jo ghar se laayi hoon?" Usne apne tiffin box ki taraf ishara kiya.
"Ise raat ko ghar par hi kha lena. Ab chal, main khila raha hoon. Its on me"
Ham dono uthe hi the ke office ka darwaza khula aur Saloni andar daakhil hui.
_________________________

Waaah vampire bhai jawaab nahi hai aapka. Is story ko padhne se jane kyo mujhe aisi feeling aa rahi hai ki main bhi koi aiai hi story likhu magar main janta hu ki main aapke jaisa nahi likh sakta. You are perfect writer,,,,,,

Abhi tak ki saari investigation me saanvli ke bare me koi suraag nahi mila. Aisa lagta hai jaise use zameen kha gayi hai ya aasmaan nigal gaya hai. Khan ki koshishe aur uski naseehte jaari hain. Khair dekhte hain aage kya hota hai,,,,,,

 

[The Immortal]

Waaah kya baat hai vampire bhai. Kisi bhi case ko kaise investigate karna hai ye koi vampire bhai se sikhe aur story me thrill suspense kaise create karna ye bhi.

Immortal bhai shukriya aapka ki aapne itni behtareen story ke bare me mujhe bataya. Yakeenan ye mere test ki story hai. Mujhe aisi hi thrill suspense se bhari huyi stories pasand hain. Jisme bheja fry ho jaye aur iske baavjood ye na taad paye koi ki hakikat kya hai.

Waaah vampire bhai jawaab nahi hai aapka. Is story ko padhne se jane kyo mujhe aisi feeling aa rahi hai ki main bhi koi aiai hi story likhu magar main janta hu ki main aapke jaisa nahi likh sakta. You are perfect writer,,,,,,

Abhi tak ki saari investigation me saanvli ke bare me koi suraag nahi mila. Aisa lagta hai jaise use zameen kha gayi hai ya aasmaan nigal gaya hai. Khan ki koshishe aur uski naseehte jaari hain. Khair dekhte hain aage kya hota hai,,,,,,

Everything looks so natural .
Chapter 7 is the best chapter.