To speak from a rational perspective, you have to think hard before you proceed. Do you really want this sexual encounter so bad that you're ready or ruin both your and your friend's marriages, and your friendship? Do you really want this so bad that you don't mind hurting your wife and your friend? If you want to proceed at all, I think it's better to have open talk, first with your wife and then with your friend, about possible swinging.
I did read the part where you said you're not interesting in becoming a cuck. My point is, if you want to proceed pursuing or exploring these feelings, do so with caution. If not, then try to slowly get out of this attraction coz some day it could show it's head in a nasty way and you might regret it. Try to focus on your wife more. Take a step back. Don't look at her as your wife coz that way you might take her for granted. Look at her as a beautiful woman and admire all her features. Maybe it'll help shift your focus.
All was thoughts (ya, was sick thoughts) which are out now. Glad there's some clarity now. I cannot discuss this with my wife and had to talk to someone to get it off my head.
It's cool, bro. I'm glad you're out of it. It's not just your problem. It's a problem with our social conditioning. Even sitting next to girls in class was a huge deal when we grew up. We had to find out about stuff as normal and natural as menstruation through the internet. Everything is made taboo in our society. So, we tend to imagine things that aren't there when a woman is friendly with us. I hope it improves in the coming generations.
