Adultery Lust " Kimat " Love [completed]

[harshit1890]

Kafi log is kahani ke naam se wakif honge. Kahani ka backup mil chuka hai thanks a life saver spritemathews Thanks a lot bro

Kahani ek pichli kahani se judi hui hai jiska naam tha " Ek Kimat Zindagi Ki.. " PDF Link for the story : https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/17dx8RNfCS4BYQa0hQUQr4rrasRjcHi78

Ye kahani un deewano ke liye jinhone us character ko pyar diya jisne kisi ko pyar nahi kiya

Story PDF LINK Below :

3.04 MB file on MEGA

mega.nz

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 95

Kabhi kabhi hum confuse ho jate hain ki jo chiz hamari nahi hai kya vo hamari hi hai ya phir sahi mein nahi hai, nahi nahi galat samjha raha hun... kehne ka matlab ki kya us chiz par hamara hak hai tabhi hamari kismat ne hume ye pal dia ya phir ye pehle se tay tha..nahi shayad ye bhi sahi nahi hai... sahi shayad ye hai ki pal mera ho ya uska magar sath hum dono hai yani ? man mein ajeeb vichar aa rahe the, jo aaj se pehle kabhi nahi aye, love story padne ka anjan yahi hota hai

" shayad mujhse pyar hi dhang se nahi hua... " akansha ne mere hathon par apne hath rakh die aur nazre jhuka kar phir se subakne lagi.

" hum kisi se kitna bhi pyar kar le vo kam hi hota hai, kyun ki.. " na jane kyun man mein pehle ritika ki parchai ayi aur phir ankita mam ki.. aaj bahut waqt baad.. iski umid nahi thi mujhe " kyun ki.... kyun ki... " ek pal ke liye mere pas bhi bolne ke liye kuch nahi tha isliye bar bar wahi bol raha tha, " kyun ki, dil kya kare vo to anjan hai uske pas kam jada ka taraju jo nahi hota... " akhir man ki baat keh hi di mene.

" kya tumne kabhi kisi se pyar kia hai ? " akansha ki ankhein lal thi, ansu se bhari vo meri ankhon mein dekh kar jawab mang rahi thi. Ab use kaise kehta ki pyar kia nahi balki ho gaya hai vo bhi is pal se... Mene na mein sar hila dia.

" phir tum itna kaise keh sakte ho ? " ab ye sawal fansne wala tha, mujhe umid nahi thi ki vo kuch aisa mujhse puchegi..

" mehsus kar sakta hun... khud ko .. tumhare dard se.. shayad isliye... " mein aisa keh dunga vo bhi itne khule akshar mein khud par vishwas nahi hua meri baat sunte hi vo mere sidhe mere gali aa lagi aur is bar zor zor se rone lagi, is tarah ke emotion jab ek baar out of control hote hain to unhe rokna bhi nahi chahie, beh jane mein hi achai hoti hai, jitna vo dard niklega utna sukun milta jayega, isliye mein bas uski pith halke halke sehla raha tha, mana nahi kar raha tha... reh reh kar dard ko mehsus karne se acha hota hai ki insan ko mar jana chahie.. varna vo apne sath apno ko zindagi bhar takleef deta hai.. ye mene suna tha... par vo baat is par lagu hogi ye kabhi nahi socha tha.

" why this hurt so much.. ? .. why... "

" i knw... i knw... " mein use bas dilasa de raha tha jise uska dard khatam ho jaye. Kuch der vo aise hi rahi phir vo mujhse alag hui, man to mera nahi tha lekin hona pada , vo mujhse alag hui aur apni ankh saaf karne lagi. Itni cute kyun lagti hai ladkiya kabhi kabhi.. man karta hai apna sab kuch de dun unhe...

" are you ok ? " mene uske baal chehre ke piche kar die taki uska chehra aur saaf dekh paun. Usne bas han mein sar hilaya, uski naak itne emotions ki wajah se lal ho chuki thi.

" did i not deserve a better love ? " uski ankhein phir bhar gayi aur usne chehra niche kar lia

" no... u are... tum pyar deserve hi nahi balki uske liye hi bani ho akansha.. " mera aur uska chehra itna kareeb tha ki dono ki sansein ek dusre par padh rahi thi. Pta nahi kyun par sala control hi nahi hua.. bolne ke baad jab usne chehra uppar uthaya to bilkul mere chehre ke kareeb aa gaya... mere emotions ne aisi kartoot dikhai ki mere lawde laga gayi...

Pata nahi kaise par mere honth uske honton ke sath jud gaye, shit.. honth rakhte hi man mein ek awaz ayi... par phir vo jaise kho gayi, itne mulayam honth... kya vakai itne mulayam hote hain ? mein pehli bar kisi ke honth nahi chum raha tha par is baar aisi kya baat thi inme ? i dont know.. par ise behtar to mene aaj tak mehsus nahi kia tha, ye pehli baar tha jab mujhe vo honth itne mulayam lag rahe the ki man se nikal rahi sahi awaz bhul kar mein unhe chumne laga, jabki mein janta tha ye bahut galat hai.. had se jada... mein is waqt us ladki ke emotions ke sath khilwad kar raha tha, faiyda utha raha tha... par kya karta control hi nahi hua ? Abhi do hi pal beete the ki mere honthon ko response milne laga phir to jaise mein kho hi gaya... Akansha bhi mere honton ko usi tarah se chum rahi thi jaise ki mein.... Vishwas nahi ho raha tha.. aur na hi samajh aa raha tha ki mujhe itna acha feel kyun ho raha hai... kya yahi vo kiss thi jo lust ki nahi balki love kiss thi ?

Waqt chahe saal nikal gaye ho mujhe nahi pata, pata tab chala jab usne kiss karna band kar dia aur vo piche hat gayi aur bas jaise hi vo hati.. meri phati..
Sare ache pal mere nark ki talti kadai mein badal gaye... fuck... fuck.. fuck.. fuck..fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.... man mein itni bar bola ki counting hi bhul gaya ki kitni bar bola, meri ankhein jhuki thi aur uthne ka naam nahi le rahi thi yani ek pahad jitna bhoj mere uppar aa gira. Ghar wale hamesha kehte the ki bura kaam karte samay nahi pata chalta jab pakde jao tab samajh ata hai ki tumne kya kia hai aur is waqt bilkul wahi lag raha tha....

Lag gaye lawde bc... ye kya kar dia... fuck bc... shit... bcccc... kya ho gaya ye mujhse... mein fauran apni position badli aur sar par hath rakh kar baith gaya, mene akansha ka reaction nahi dekha.. na hi himmat ho rahi thi, itna samajh gaya tha ki aaj sab khatam... phir bc dunia ki sabhi randiape wali baat tairne lagi, ek hi second mein dil ka pyar gand ke ched se fusssss ho gaya...

Kabhi kisi ki zindagi mein aisa mauka na aye.. kyun ki ye mauka bilkul waisa hota hai jaise kisi ne nasbandi kar di ho aur phir bhi muth mein apka pani nikal raha ho. ab to ho gaya tha scene meri bajne wali thi solid been..

Mene kisi tarah bina akansha ki taraf mude apni nazre uski taraf dali , vo bhi meri hi tarah baithi thi apna chehra samne kiye hue bilkul besudh hokar jaise koi hosh hi na ho, chehre par ansu the jinhe usne usi waqt apne hath se hataye, ye dekh mene fauran apni nazar chupa li.

Bas yahi socha ki isi pal bhag jaun yahan se... kyun ki mujhe gussa aa raha tha islye nahi ki ye kya kia mene ? balki isliye ki mene aaj pyar pane se pehle hi use kho dia tha.
______________________________

Par aise baitha nahi reh sakta tha, mujhse galti hui thi aur mujhe ise kabulna tha, chahe mafi mile ya na.. pada tha mene... galti maan kar mafi magne ke piche lalch nahi hona chahie ki samne se tumhe mafi milegi hi.. isliye ... aaj mene jo kho dia vo shayad vapis aye na aye par agar galti nahi mani aur bina kuch kahe nikal gaya to bahut badi galti kar baithunga... par bolu kaise ? ohh shit... aaj mein idhar aya hi kyun acha bhala chal raha tha sab kuch ....

" i m..m... sorry akanashaji.. mene apke sath.. " badi himmat ke baad itna bola, sahi mein halak se awaz nikal hi nahi rahi thi aisa lag raha tha jaise koi vapis use andar hi rehne ke liye dhaka de raha ho.. " apke sath.. " mere honth, hath pair kanp rahe the, lag hi nahi raha tha ki ye mein hun ? khud ki halat dekh kar mujhe mera
past aisa nahi lag raha tha jaisa nikla tha.. itni bechaini itna dar mene life mein kabhi mehsus nahi kiya tha.. shayad aaj se pehle kabhi mene dil se socha nahi tha isliye ye halat thi meri.. " apke sath.. jo kia... m sorry.. " bas itna bol kar bina uski taraf dekhe uthke jane vala tha. Sab khatam to ho chuka tha, jo akela pan akansha ki vajah se kafi had tak kam hua tha, pune ane ke baad uske dar ne phir jagah gher li thi.

" tum mujhse aap karke kyun baat karte ho ? " mein khada hota use pehle akansha ki baat sun kar mein uski taraf dekhne laga, vo bilkul samne dekh rahi thi, usne ek baar bhi palat kar meri taraf nahi dekha aur mein confuse hokar use nihar raha tha. Ya to mere dimag mein koi nayi fantasy ban rahi hai jo mein apne galat kaam ke dauran banata hun jisme mujhe kuch nahi hota aur mujhe maffi mil jati hai ya phir mein time travel karke baitha hun jisme mein aisa kar sakta hun ye dkeh liya hoga jabki mein is waqt apne ghar mein hi baitha hun ? Aur agar ye dono baat galat hai to mein present mein hun aur reality mein par agar aisa hai to akansha ne aisa kyun kaha vo bhi is tym par ? Null mein bhi 4 word hote hain mere pas to is waqt vo bhi nahi the.... Vo phir bina kuch kahe sofe par apna sar rakh kar vahin apne sharir ko fold kar so gayi. Meri nazar uske chehre par thi, kasam se itna pyara aur masum lag raha tha ki mujhe khud par ghin ane lagi ki mene uski majburi ka fayda utha lia, vo pehle se hi pareshan thi aur mein uske character ke sath khel gaya ? sala dil mein itna dard kabhi nahi hua.. shayad heart attack ke time bhi nahi hota hoga jitna mujhe abhi ho raha tha, kyun hota hai ye dard ? sala ye pyar sine se hi kyun hota hai

Mein na ja paa raha tha na hi aise baith paa raha tha, meri nazar akansha par thi aur vo thi ki meri taraf dekh nahi rahi thi, nafrat aisi hi hoti hai pada tha mene jab apse koi nafrat karta hai to apki taraf dekhna bhi pasand nahi karta, mujhe bhi yahi mehsus ho raha tha aur isi wajah se sina jada dard kar raha tha, koi kaam kar do is dard ko please ? mein apni ek mahine ki salary de dunga par ise dur kar do ? sine mein dard hua to rone ka man karne laga, mujhse khud ki galti to bardasht ho nahi rahi thi uppar se akansha ki nafrat ne to jaise mere sine ke dard ki danger level ki sima rekha paar kar di... mein utha nahi ... bas ek jhalak pane ki umeed mein baitha raha ki ek bar to sahi akansha dekhegi mujhe, par aisa nahi hua vo vaise hi laiti rahi aur phir uski ankhein band ho gayi.... jinpar itna atyachar hua tha aaj... vo so chuki thi, uski ankhein aur dil shayad dono shant ho jayenge thodi der ke liye ye soch kar mujhe chain mila, par jo mene kiya usko dimag se nahi nikal paa raha tha... kya meri galti ka ab koi replacement nahi tha ?

Aise kab tak baitha rehta, mein akansha ke liye andar se blanket laya aur use odha di, tv ka shor jo maujud tha use band karke khatam kar dia aur vahin sofe par baith gaya. Jane ka to irada khatam ho chuka tha, bas yun hi uske pass baith jane ka man ho chala tha, kyun ki shayad ye akhri baar tha jab mein uska chehra dekh raha tha, thodi der baad meri bhi ankh lag gayi, thak jo gaya tha khud se...

Subh ankh achanak khuli to khud ko wahi paya, kash sapna hota.. par aisa nahi tha.. akansha abhi bhi so rahi thi, 6 baj rahe the, uske uthne se pehle mujhe chale jana chahie tha, varna mujhe dekhte hi raat yaad aa jati aur na jane kya hota isliye mene soch liya tha ki jab use mujhse nafrat ho chuki hai to use akela chhod dena hi sahi faisla hai... wahi kaha tha na mene mafi magne par mile ye jaruri nahi.... Mein khada hua, ek paper par note likha...

' S-O-R-R-Y '

Office pahunch kar bhi mein apne zehan se nahi nikal paa raha tha ki mene akansha ko bilkul kho dia, bich bich mein tassali deta ki vaise bhi ek din to khona hi tha chalo pehle hi ? par is excuse se kya sahi mein dil ko tassali mil rhi thi.. nahi... insan sab ko bevkuf bana sakta hai par khud ko nahi... kyun ki khud se behtar insan kisi ko nahi jaan sakta, use apne bare mein sab pata hota hai ki vo kab galat hai aur kab nahi...

Is tarah nahi... aise nahi khona tha mujhe usse... socha to man mein tha lekin muh se nikal chuka tha, acha tha ki mein aaj office itni jaldi aya tha ki koi aya hi nahi tha.

" Ankit.. " shayad kisi ne do teen bar mera naam pukara jab mein hosh mein aya, sir khade the aur vo awaz laga rahe the.

" good morning sir "

" good morning, itni jaldi ? "

" han sir vo kaam tha to socha jaldi aakar kar dun.. "

" hmm, vaise tum delhi se hi ho na ? "

" han sir kyun ? "

" nahi.. aise hi.. vo actually mein vahan branch open hui hai to they need some well trained employees to settle down isliye.. you carry on your work "

" ok sir.. " vo gaya, mein vapis apni soch mein baith gaya, aur eka ek sochte hue sir ki baat rewind karti hui dimag mein ghumi aur mujhe ise behtarin idea nahi mil skta tha is dard se azadi ka.

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 96

Idea implement karne mein mehnat to lagi lekin akhirkar sir man gaye, do ghante mein confirmation mil jana tha, ki mei vapis delhi shift hone jaa raha tha, pune jagah chhodne ka man kisi ka na ho lekin mein yahan se bhag jana chahta tha, aisa laga jaise dil ka bhoj thoda kam ho gya. Kaam mein ek dum se man bhi lagne laga isliye kaam niptane baith gaya, kareeb 12:15 baje mein free hua aur free hote hi nazar phone par gyi, adat se majbur hum insani machine is machine se juda nahi ho sakte aur vo bhi aaj ke waqt mein... jahan insan kho jaye to itna dukh nahi hota jitna subh uthte waqt phone apni jagah par na milne par hota hai.. Gazab ki invention hai vaise smartphone.. baki kya kahun... sabko pta hai ki ye smartphone insan ko kitna smart banata jaa raha hai jo sadak par mare kutte ki photo khiinch kar upload to karta hai aur uspar hash tag karke dukh bhi jatata hai.. bas insaniyat vala feature on nahi hota ki kam se kam us mrit sharir ko uski sahi jagah rakh de... ye hai hamara smartphone jise use karne walle behad smart hai...

" Lunch at 2 " message dekh bc meri halat tight.. iske alawa akansha ka koi dusra message nahi tha, dikkat ye thi ki mene message read kar liya tha varna vo puchti ki aye kyun nahi to keh deta message nahi dekha.. par ab kya bahana maru ? kya vo lunch mein sabke samne meri bezaati karegi.. ya thapad maregi ? fuck.. fuck fuck fuck.. bc... ye fuck fuck jaban par chadd gaya hai.. madarchod.. han ise man ko tassali hui... apna desh jis tarah corruption aur chutiapanti mein aage hai usi tarah gali galoz mein koi desh apni maa nahi chuda sakta.. aas pass bhi nahi.. baat hi alag hai bc...

Mein kareeb 2:15 par phuncha, phuch to tym par jata lekin himmat hi nahi ho rahi thi akansha ki taraf dekhne ki.. Lekin kisi tarah uske samne baitha tha, par nazre ya to khidki ke bahar ki taraf hoti ya phir idhar udhar, lekin samne baithi akansha par nahi... Khana samne rakha tha, jise dhire dhire kha raha tha, dono ke bich koi baat cheet nahi ho rahi thi, mein confuse tha ki jab use mujhe marna nahi, kuch kehna nahi to bulaya kyun ? ek pal ye bhi aya ki khud bolun.. par awaz ki to muth nikal chuki thi... khadi hi nahi ho rahi thi bc..

Tabhi mujhe laga jaise usne koi harkat ki, mene apni nazar khidki se samne ki to dekha usne mere taraf ek note badaya tha... meri nazar us note par tha.. Uspar sorry likha tha... ek pal to samajh nahi aya aur jab aya to..

' ye to mera hi note hai ... isne mujhe vapis kar dia.. lagta hai ab gaya mein.. kuch bolun ? han bolun.. kam se kam maffi to lun.. karegi ? ' mein khud se hi sawal karta raha.

" meri taraf se bhi... " jab vo boli tab mere dimag ne sochna band kar dia. " galti tumhari nahi, hamari thi ankit... " meri nazar aise chaud mein uthi jaise bc mene desh ke liye aisa kaam kia jise desh ko kitna bada fayda hua ho.

Arsa.. sahi mein arsa ho gaya ho akansha ko dekhe bilkul aisa feel ho raha tha, vo behad shant thi.. uska chehra shant tha.. na gussa na hi kisi baat ki narazgi thi..

" tumne kaha tha ki pyar mein sochna padh jaye to use chhod dena chahie ? " uski nazre jhuki hui thi, par vo gehre vichar mein thi ye pakka tha. Mein use dekhta raha, bhul gaya ki usne mujhse kuch pucha hai.. pata nahi kyun jo man mein dar tha is ladki se ek bar phir vo dil pyar karne laga tha, ye kaisa ajeeb dil hai sala khel khelta hai.. ek pal mein pyar ko is kadar bhar dega ki insan dub jata hai aur ek hi pal mein itna sukha kar dega ki do bund ke liye tarsa deta hai..

" bolo ? " uski nazre uppar uth chuki thi aur ye mehsus karte hi mene ha mein sar hilaya.

" tumne kabhi kisi se pyar kiya hai ? " ye kaisa sawal tha, jisme ha karta to naam lena padta aur na karta to kaise ? jabki vo to samne baitha tha.. itni bar mein zindagi mein kabhi nahi fansa jitna ye dil pyar krne ke baad fans raha tha. Mene majburan na mein sar hilaya.

" hmm " usne nazar phir jhukai, " chhod dia... " kya ? mein kuch samjha nahi, aur sochne laga ki kis bare mein baat kar rahi hai.. kahin mene kuch kaha jiska jawab dia usne ?

" chhod dia pyar.. " vo boli aur khana khane lagi, mein phir ek pal socha aur jaise hi mujhe samajh aya ki vo ye keh rahi hai usne akash ko chhod dia kasam se keh raha hun meri sans wahin ruk gayi ek pal ke liye, yakeen karo mein bina sans liye zinda tha... sahi mein.... kya yahi takat hoti hai pyar ki ?

Lunch ke waqt ke baad jab mein office aya tab bhi mere kano mein akansha ki batein hi thi, mujhe yakeen nahi ho raha tha, mein kya soch raha tha aur kya hua tha... zindagi badi bitch hai bc.. chudti bahuton se hai par kisne kitna choda ye nahi batati..

" can you meet me after office ? " ye akansha ka akhri sawal tha jiska mene han mein jawab dia tha. Mein system ke samne baitha soch raha tha ki achanak meri nazar computer screen par padi jisme mail tha.

" Transfer process accepted " no... fuck.. bc.. mene click kiya to mail mein mera trasnfer accept ho gaya tha... par .... par ... mein to ab jana hi nahi chahta tha.. nahi..... nahi nahi nahi...... utha aur sir ke pas unhe mana karne jane laga lekin bc ye to ab possible hi nahi tha... shittttttttttttttttttt.... mujhe itna gussa aya man kiya ki kahin apna sar fod du ya kuch tod dun... fuccckk..... zindagi is a bitch bc... chod dia mujhe ....

Office ke baad mein aur akansha park ki ek bench par baithe the, sham ho rahi thi, park mein ane wala nahi balki jane wale log jada the. Vo chup thi, mein bhi.. kya bolun.. ye sochte hue mene socha ki mujhe kal raat ke liye ab himat karke samne se kuch kehna chahie...

" akansha.. "

" hmm " vo mere hi kuch kehne ke liye baithi thi aisa laga jis tarah usne itni jaldi jawab dia.

" kal raat jo hua.. uski wajah se tumne decision liya ? kyun ki agar aisa hai to mein shayad kabhi ye nahi bhul paunga ki meri vajah se tumhari khushi khatam hui.. mein bahut guilty hu jo bhi kal mene kiya... "

" mene nahi ankit... hum... humne kia.. " usne phir usi baat ko pakda.. sach is ladki se to mujhe bahut jada wala pyar ho gaya hai...

" humne jo kiya kahin uski wajah se tum itni guilty to nahi jo tumne itna bada decision liya ? dekho akansha mein bahut dur chala jaunga.. kabhi tumhe pareshan nahi karunga.. jitni bar kahogi utni mafi mang lunga.. bas meri galti ki saza apni life ke future ko mat do.. " meri chinta mein mene bahut kuch bak dia, jo shayad mera chintit dil kehna chahta tha. Akansha meri taraf dekhne lagi, use dekh kar to aisa lag raha tha ki vo mujhe latedna chahti ho.. itna latdena jise mere gal lal ho jaye...

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 97

" jana chahte ho ? " sawal tha ya fasane ka tarika ye ladkiyun ko khubi se pata hota hai.

" akansha,you know what i mean.. " mein itna uljha hua tha ki vo samajh gayi, vo bahut halke se muskurai.

" tumne kabhi kisi se pyar kiya hai ? " ye sawal usne lunch mein bhi pucha tha, mene tab sirf na mein sar hilaya tha, yani vo mujhse jawab chahti hai.. mene ek pal socha aur phir jawab dia.

" nahi.. aisa to kabhi nahi hua.. " bolna jitna chahta tha use jada bol dia, aukad bc ek bhi bar ki muth marne ki ho jis bande ki vo jab 5 bar mar de to jaise uska susu tak nahi nikalta mera haal bhi wahi ho gaya tha..

" aisa matlab ? "

" jaisa tumhe hua ... akash se.. " mene kisi tarah baat ghuma kar apne aap ko bacha lia vo chup hokar baith gayi, mene galat naam le liya, sala ye pyar itna taza hota hai ki zindagi bhar kabhi bhi usko kharonch le uski parat hat jati hai ye baat pata nahi thi, actually dil bhi judta hai kisi se ye baat mene akansha ke pas reh kar jani.. itni fikar to aaj tak mujhe mere maa baap se nahi hui..

" i am sorry, par akansha tumne meri baat ka jawab nahi dia, agar kal raat.. "

" i am free ankit.. seriously.. " uske chehre par ek alag hi chamak thi, " mujhe nahi pata tha ki pyar chhodne par mujhe aisa bhi mehsus hoga .. you did this... tumne azad kiya hai mujhe us janjal se.. "

" mene "

" tumne hi to samjhaya ki pyar mein agar mangne padh jaye to uska fayda kya.. mang kar to bhik bhi mil jati hai.. aur mein to apne pyar se pyar ki bhik mang rahi thi.. kyun ? "

" are you ok ? " mein uske is badle nature ko samajh nahi paa raha tha mujhe laga sadma lag gaya ise.

" tum kyun nahi samajh rahe ankit ? " usne bahut khinchte hue baat kahi, " i am free.. and i am happy... thank you " vo muskurai aur phir shant ho gayi, mein abhi bhi nithalon ki tarah baitha samajhne ki hi kosish kar raha tha, jab se kahaniyun mein love story padne ka bhut swar hua hai uppar se pyar hua hai mera mind kahin so chuka hai.

" are you sure ? "

" whattt... tumhe aisa kyun lag raha hai ki ye sab kal raat ki kiss ki wajah se hua hai ... " ek pal usne mujh par gussa kiya, first time tha jab vo mujhpar chillai thi.

" tum nahi jante kal tumne jo kiya vo koi nahi kar paya.. dil se pucho mere ki kitni azadi mili hai mujhe pyar se... " vo mere thoda kareeb ayi, uska chehra bhavuk ho chuka tha. Man to kiya hathon mein tham kar chum lun uska matha aur keh dun..

" kya tum ab kisi se pyar nahi kar paogi ? " uske jawab ki wajah se man mein sawal utha tha par puchna nahi tha ... kyun ki mein janta tha ab mein jitna akansha se pyar karunga utna dur hona mushkil ho jayega kyun ki mein janta tha ki vo mujhe kabhi milegi nahi... kash... na kiya hota pyar.. kash ye bench.. ye park.. ye sab is jagah hota hi nahi... mein jaan chuka tha ki mein zindagi ki bahut galat mod par mud gaya hun.

Pehle to vo mera sawal sun kar hansi, phir mujhpar se nazar hata samne dekhne lagi, " tum hi kehte ho pyar karte nahi.. ho jata hai... " ankhon se ek ansu chalak utha uske.

" hey.... " mene uske hath par apna hath rakh dia, jiske baad usne meri taraf dekha to mene turant apna hath hata liya aur nazre niche kar di. Ye pehla touch tha use kal raat ke baad, and i know ki mein use chu nahi sakta jabki ab vo kisi relation mein nahi thi. Mein use dekh hi nahi paa raha tha, jabki vo meri hi taraf dekh rahi thi ye mein saaf mehsus kar paa raha tha.

" why... " kyun dekh rahi hai vo mujhe aise, man mein sawal aa rahe the jiska jawab usne fauran de dia.

" i love you ankit... " mere to kano ko vishwas nahi hua, " i love you as a person.. " kan baith gaye fauran mein heart attack se marunga ye to confirm tha

" tum jo ho uske piche koi lalch nahi dikhta mujhe, na hi kabhi mene tumhare andar kisi ke liye bura dekha hai.. tumse... sorry.... humse.. jo kal raat hua usme tumhara lalch hota to shayad aur kya kya hota... lekin tumhare chehre ki is sharam se mujhe pyar ho gaya.. " vo halki hansi, meri nazar uppar uth gayi apne aap.. ladki ne bezati bahut solid mari thi.. " in ankhon mein koi lalch nahi hai ankit so don't feel guilty.. " usne apna hath mere hath par rakh dia aur dil zor zor se dhadak lagne laga... kaun chutia kehta hai dil kuch nahi mehsus karta... abe dhakano agar vo mind ka hi soft part hota hai to sine mein is khushi mix dard ka ehsas kyun ho raha hai.

" i think i found.. "

" kya ? "

" you... " vo itna bol kar samne dekhne lagi aur mein use aise hi baithe takta raha, pta nahi kab tak hum yun hi baithee rahe, kuch baat chit nahi hui par baithe rahe.

Akash ne bahut kosish ki akansha se baat karne ki, but she refused, usne us apne rishte ko aise khatam kia jaise kabhi hua hi nahi, kasam se pyar jitna kar lo par ek baar wahi pyar nafrat mein badal gaya to uska roop badal jata hai. Ye baat akansha ke close friends ko pata chal gayi thi, usne khud hi bata di thi.

" salle kahin tune hi to kuch nahi kiya.. " rahul ka shak abhi tak mujhpar tha. Mein uske puche gaye bar bar yahi sawal par kuch nahi bola.

" agar aisa hai to maal sahi le gaya bhai tu to... " man kiya salle ka jabda tod kar uske gurdon mein de dun aur uske muh mein uski antadiyan fit kar dun, sala chutiya.

" sabka ye kehna hai ki mein vajah hun tumhare break up ke liye ? " akhir mene akansha se ye baat keh di, khama kha dil pareshan tha aur uska asar dikh raha tha.

" hmm, tabhi tum kuch din se thoda pareshan the "

" nahi aisa nahi.. bas.. phir.. "

" phir kya.. ? "

" mujhe apni parwah nahi, but usme tumhe pata nahi kya kya kehte hain vo pasand nahi "

" kya kehte hain ? "

" kuch nahi.. " mene uspar se nazre hatayi aur khana khane laga, kyun ki log salle chutiye haram ke pille bina jane pata nahi kya kya bakte hain.. madarchodo ko ek din unki kismat aisi chodegi ki salle bhul jayenge ki khada kaise karte hain madarjat napunsak ho jayegi dunia

" why you worry ? "

" because.. " mein fauran bola aur chup bhi ho gaya.
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" because... mujhe acha nahi lagta " kehna kuch aur chahta tha bola kuch aur.

" kyun ? "

" bas aise hi... " mein uski taraf dekh hi nahi raha tha.

" bolo ? " par vo mujhe pura fasane ke mood mein thi.

" koi tumhe mere bare mein kuch bole to tumhe bura nahi lagega ? "

" bilkul nahi.. " usne bahut normal tone mein kahi jaise use farak nahi padta. " aur mujhe bura kyun lagega... " mera to dil hi tut gaya kasam se.. vo bollywood ke dard bhare gannon ki tarah... bc jo socha tha vo mila nahi jo paya usme kuch mila nahi.. overall har taraf se lawde lag gaye the. Gussa aya, dukh bhi bahut hua akansha ke muh se sun kar kyun ki mene yahi expect kia tha ki jaise mein uske liye feel karta hu same way wo bhi waisa hi sochti hogi.. par yahan to ulti hi kahani thi.. mujhe lag raha tha ki mene zindagi ki sabse badi mistake kar di.. expectation rakh kr nahi balki pyar karke kyu ki shayad mujhe samjhne wala koi tha hi nahi ...

" hmm.. " mene bas itna hi kaha, us pal parwah khatam ho gayi mere andar uske liye ki vo kya sochegi.

" jabki i know tum kaise ho... because i know you better than anyone else.. " sala yahi dikkat hai mere sath adhi baat sun kar mayus ho jata hun.. puri baat to suni hi nahi thi dant fatt gaye mere to vo bhi akansha ke samne aur vo dekh kar hasne lagi aur idhar mein sharma gaya to vo aurr hasne lagi.. sala ho kya raha tha ye..

' Pyar ki vo yadein jab bhi zehan mein ati hai to un yadon ki khushi aur aaj ki sachai ka gum.. itna badh jata hai ki samajh nahi ata ki hansu ya roaun.. pata nahi kyun hum kisi se itna lagav kar baithte hai ki usme zindagi ki sabhi khawishe usi mein dhudnte hain .. bhale hi ab vo hamare pas na ho.. dard sirf chot lagne par nahi hota.. kabhi kabhi vo bas hota hai jo nind mein bhi dhadkta hai.. '

Akansha aur meri ye closeness badti jaa rahi thi jabki abhi bahut si batein hamare bich nahi hui thi na hi mein janta tha uske bare mein aur na hi vo mere bare mein phir bhi hum close ho rahe the ye mera manna tha, ajeeb ho gaya hai insan sab kuch jane bina bhi pyar kar baithta hai ? Transfer ki baat ka kya reaction hona tha akansha par ye mein nahi janta tha par use batana to tha hi kyun ki ab waqt kareeb aa gaya tha.. nahi bataya to bharosa kho dene ka dar tha. Lekin mauka nahi mil raha tha ki kaise bataun.. kab batau phir ek din mauka usi ne dia, she asked ki kahin chalte hain.. jo ki ye kaam mujhe karna tha vo keh gayi thi.. to mene use bahar le chalne ke liye kaha par usne bahar jane se mana kar dia vo shanti chahti thi isliye usne apne hi ghar ka program bana lia. Mein sham ko use ke pas jane ki tayari kar raha tha, itna saz daz raha tha mano sala meri handsomegiri dekh kar vo fisal jayegi mujh par.. Mein ghar se nikal raha tha ki rahul bola kuch lekar jaio khali hath nahi ... aur jab pucha ki kya to salle ne bataya nahi ... dalla kahin ka... ab usne mere dimag mein dal di baat ki khali hath nahi jana chahie to raste mein mera dimag kharab ho gaya.

Ek bar ko to mein khali hath pahunch bhi gaya tha akansha ke ghar par jab koi aisi baat dimag mein dal de to sali nikalti nahi mein vapis aya ... market ki taraf par mujhe abhi bhi samajh nahi aya ki kya lu.. aj tak kabhi kisi ke liye ful tak nahi liya to ab kya ? ful.. flower... han bc flower bahut pasnd hai ladkiyun ko.. mein dhundta hua ek flower ki shop par pahuncha..

Vahan pahucnh kar mene ek rose lene ka faisla kiya.. bada mehnga tha sala dunia kitni chutia hai sala.. ek ful par itna paisa sala kora paisa waste hai isme ... fainkna hi hona hota hai ladkiyun ko bhi.. lekin kya kare unhe pasnd bhi wahi ata hai.. ajeeb hi bavli dunia hai ... logo ka dil uspar ata hai jiski life kuch nahi hoti

Ek ful lekar mein akansha ke ghar pahuncha, bich mein uske 2 phone aa chuke the ki kahan hun ? sali izat ki jhantein bikhar gayi meri to.. pehli hi date par late.. gate khula to mene sorry keh dia vo kuch kahe use pehle... mene pada tha ladkiyan is mamle mein bahut jaldi hurt hoti hai unhe wait karana bilkul pasand nahi hai.. mujhe lag raha tha ye love stories ek din mujhe kahin ka nahi chhodegi...
______________________________

Akansha ki nazar mujh par thi tabhi yaad aya mujhe ki mein uske liye kuch laya hun, mene fauran uski taraf vo bada dia, vo muskurai aur usne mere hath se usne rose le lia.

" thank you... come.. " rahul ka idea kaam kar gaya tha, yakeen nahi tha ki us dale ki baat kaam aa sakti hai. Mein andar aya to akansha ne aise ghar prepare kar rakha tha jaise ... jaise.... pata nahi aaj samajh nahi aa raha ki kya kahun.. kai bar shabdon ki kami ki wajah ye pal ban jate hain ... kuch aisa hi pal mujhe mehsus hua..

" baitho.. mein abhi ayi.. " mein vahin baith gaya, ghar mein behad hi dim lights thi, bahut hi sukun mil raha tha aisa laga jaise dunia se dur aisi jagah aa gaya hun jise mein jannat keh sakta hu... us din ek baat samajh ayi vo ye ki jab dil mein sukun ho tab yahi dunia jannat se kam nahi lagti yani hum apna sukun dusro mein khojte hain, unse chinne ki kosish karte hain, khushi panne ke liye dusron ki zindagi kharab kr dete hain par ye samajh nahi pate ki asli khushi khud ke hathon mein hai.. asli sukun to khud ke pas hai.. jis din hum ye samajh gaye us din dunia sukun ho jayegi...

" Wine ? but akansha mein nahi leta " akansha ke hath mein do glass dekh mene kaha, dekh kar to wine lagi to yahi kaha mene. Vo muskurai aur mere bagal mein aa baithi bahut pas... pata hai kya khubi thi usme is waqt... vo itni sobar bani hui thi jaise sundar bane ka use koi shauk na ho.. blki use jarurt hi nahi thi, use kudrat ki sundarta ke agge insan ki banai sundar chizon ki jarurat hi nahi thi.. uski khusbu ... mere to fefde uski khusbu lene ke liye gehri gehri sansein le rahi thi...vo meri ye harkat dekh hansne lagi par shayad vo jada hasna chahti thi lekin hath mein glass ki wajah se nahi hans paa rahi thi.

" perfume ki fragrance bahut achi hai.. " mene fauran keh dia, bezati par bezati karwa raha tha mein...

" hmm thank you.. " usne hansi control karte hue wine ka glass meri tarf badaya.

" mein nahi leta akansha.. "

" i know.. but isme alcohol nahi hai.. trust me" aise kahegi to zeher bhi dawai samajh kar pii lun mein to.. mene glass le liya.

" cheers " mene bhi usi ka sath dia aur jab usne ek ghunt lia uske baad mene, par jaise hi mene lia zeher wali baat vala dialog samajh aa gaya.. kehna asan karna mushkil.. bada hi wahiyad taste tha, mene fauran muh se hata dia, meri shakal aisi ho gayi thi jaise kisi ne mere tatte bhains ki tuti samajh kar noch dia ho

Akansha itni zor se hasni ki kya batau.. mene uski taraf dekha aur bas dekhta reh gaya... kya muskan thi vo chehre ki.. kuch logon ki zindagi mein bahut se memorable day hote hain jinme paise ki tariki ki hoti hai par meri zindagi mein yahi vo memorable waqt tha... use hansta dekh mein bhi muskurane laga.

" i 'll get you something else.. " vo uthti par mene uska hath pakad kar use rok lia

" its fine.. jarurat nahi.. mujhe kuch nahi chahie " mene glass table par rakh dia, usne bhi kuch nahi kaha. Mujhe jo chahie tha vo mere bagal mein hi tha use bata nahi sakta tha par mujhe to pata hi tha.

" i am sorry " usne bhi glass table par rakhte hue kaha.

" kisliye ? " mujhe laga vo wine ke liye bolegi.

" tum bahar jana chahte the par mene mana kar dia aur ghar mein hi sab arrange kar dia "

" iske liye sorry ? " mene chaunkte hue kaha to usne bhi duvidha mein sar han mein hilaya.

" mujhe to ghar jada pasand hai akansha.. i mean.. " sochne laga ki kaise kahun, " mujhe bahar jane ka itna shauk nahi hai.. agar koi apna sath ho to kahin bhi reh sakta hun even bahar ke shor se achi hai ye shanti.. mujhe shanti mein baithna pasnd hai.. vo to mene tumse isliye pucha tha kyun ki you like.. tumhe bahar jakar party karne ka shauk hai isliye.. varna mujhe to ghar par jada acha lagta hai.. vaise bhi bahar jakar bhi wahi karna hai jo yahan.... kam se kam akele shanti mein do batein aram se to ho jati hai.. " mein kuch jada aur bahut sara bol gaya tha. Vo mujhe ek pal dekhti rahi.. mujhe laga hi tha ki mein jada bol gaya.

" wao, mujhe nahi pata tha ki tum bhi meri tarah hi sochte ho "

" matlab ? "

" mujhe bhi bahar jana jada pasnd nahi hai "

" hainnn ? " ye baat mere liye bhi surprise thi auron ki tarah

" yeah.. maybe u are confused, ki mein professional mein jaisi hun wahi personally bhi.. but aisa nahi hai.. profession mein reh kar kabhi kabhi hume uske nature ko adapt karna padta hai.. personally to mujhe shanti bahut pyari hai.. " ye behad nayi baat thi jo mujhe ab pata chal rahi thi, sahi mein koi agar jane ki mujhe is ladki se pyar hua hai to yahi kahenge log ki pehle use jaan to le ache se aya bada pyar karne wala ? par kya vakai mein hum ek insan ko puri tarah se janne ke baad hi pyar kar sakte hain ? ye sawal abhi tak sawal hi hai mere andar...

" ohh.. strange.. mene kabhi aisa nahi scha tha.. mujhe laga tha tumhe pasnd hai yahi sab "

" hmm i know.. bahut si chizen unfold hai hamare bich.. "

" but mein to same hi rakhta hun.. jaisa hun usi tarah profession mein bhi rehta hun.. kabhi kabhi us tarah banna padta hai par mujhse hota nahi .. mein jab tk khud jaisa hun waisa rehta hun tb sahi rehta hun.. dunia ke hissab se chalta hun to frustrate ho jata hu.. pata nahi kyun dunia mein dikhawa jada hai.. " bolne ke baad laga ki kahin akansha apne uppar na le le.. mein use ye clear karta use pehle usne keh dia.

" mujhe yahi adat tumhari pasnd hai.. " par usne compliment de dia, ab hum ladko ko aise hi compliment se to pyar ho jata hai.. hum samjhte hain ki ladki humse pyar kar bathti hai par kya vakai aisa hota hai ?

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 98

Ye sham meri yaad mein jud gayi thi, ise pehle shayad hi khush raha honga mein apni life mein, ek insan apko itna badal deta hai ye mene abhi jana tha, agar ek insan apke chehre ki muskan ban jaye to kya wahi pyar ho jata hai ? har baar pyar ke liye sawal karta rehta hun par ab jarurat nahi thi kyun ki han mein akansha se pyar kar chuka tha, ab vo meri zindagi ki khushi ban chuki thi hamesha ke liye....

Dinner karne ke baad hum dono apas mein baat-cheet kar rahe the aur akansha apne bachpan ke kuch kisse suna rahi thi jise sun mein hans raha tha aur vo batate hue khud..

" purani yadein hoti bahut gazab hai.. " mene hanste hue kaha.

" har nahi hoti " bol kar akansha shant hokar apni sansein durust karne lagi. Mein samajh gaya ki mein kuch galat keh gaya.

" mera matlab bachpan se tha akansha.. i am sorry.. " pyar mein galti man lena shayad bahut jaruri hai, mein to yahi manta tha isliye mene keh dia.

" hmm.. " uska hmm janta tha sahi nahi hai.. mene itne ache mahol ko bekar kar dia tha bura lag raha tha aur samajh nahi paa raha tha ki kya karun.. thodi si laparwahi dil ko is tarah chotil kar rahi thi jaise koi gunah kar dia ho.

" kuch ... apne bare mein batao ankit ? "

" mere bare mein ? "

" han.. har insan ka past hota hai mera to tumhe pata hai tumhara bhi to hoga, koi to hoga jise tumne kabhi pyar kiya hoga ? kuch aisa jo tumne mujhe nahi bataya.. " mein chup.. itna chup jaise awaz hi nahi hai mere galle mein, ye baat mere chehre par saaf aa gayi thi.

" nahi batana chahte to its ok.. maybe "

" mera past.. kagaz ki tarah akansha ... likho aur mita do.. kabhi kuch permanent nahi hua.... har chiz delete button ke sath delete ho gayi.. par han ek baat hai jo mene kabhi kisi ko nahi batai... " mein ek pal ke liye shant hua " ladkiyun mein na interest dekh kai log mujhe gay bulate the... " bas mera ye kehna tha aur akansha ke chehre par hansi aa gayi, bas yahi to chahie tha... haye.. do bund uski khushi zindagi ki takdeer bana rahi thi.... ek aisi takdeer jise mein apne hathon mein is kadar likh lena chahta tha ki khud kismat bhi use mita na paye.. gurur ban gayi thi vo mera aur mein uske liye apni kismat ki lakiron mein badlav kar dena chahta tha.

" and dnt say please that u are ? " usne mazak ko aage badaye rakha.

" i .... don't think so.... " mene bhi usi andaz mein jawab dia aur hum dono khil-khilate hue hans pade. Uski hansi aur ye mahol shayad mein vapis kabhi nahi la sakta tha isliye samet raha tha... acha hua samet liya kyun ki waqt un yadon ko jarur dahurane ke liye apni takat dikhata hai aur tab uski takat ke aage hum majbur insan sirf us yaad ko mehsus hi kar pate hain jisme dil us yaad ki dard se bhara hota hai aur ankhein dil ke dard mein bhari hoti hai...

" akansha mein tumse kuch kehna chahta hun ? " yahi mauka tha.. waise bhi jane ka waqt aa gaya tha aur iske baad mujhe mauka nahi milne wala tha.

" kaho "

" mera transfer delhi ho gaya hai aur mein next week vapis jaa raha hun.. " bina ghumaye, bina kuch soche sidha sach samne rakh dia ... pata nahi kyun andar se lag raha tha ki ye baat use achi nahi lagegi... jabki hamara abhi rishta hi kya tha ? aur agar tha bhi to vo sirf meri taraf se, uski taraf se kya tha ? par phir bhi umeed thi ki use bura lagega...

Umeed ... pyar mein umeed .... yahi vo shabd hai jo pyar ko noch deti hai lekin bina umeed ke sahare hum bharosa bhi kaha karte hain... mein us waqt nahi janta tha ki akansha se lagai umeed sahi thi ya galat... lekin umeed par hi mene apni zindagi tika li thi...
______________________________

Mene pada hai umeed jab tutti hai to uski chot dil ko is kadar dard deti hai ki dunia mein rehna uske liye majburi ban jati hai. Na to ansu bahar ate hain aur na hi dil ka dard kam hota hai, ye vo janajal hai jahan fasne wala admi ek zinda lash ban jata hai aur mein is waqt bilkul aisa hi tha, kyun ki mujhe umeed thi ki Akansha ko dukh hoga mere jane ka, itna close ane ke baad to yahi umeed thi.. Par kuch nahi hua, uska ek message jiska mene 2 din se koi reply nahi dia tha aur na hi use koi baat hui thi. Hafte bhar ke baad ki flight mene kal ki hi karwa di thi, umeed ke is bhavar ne mujhe utha kar itni zor se fainka tha ki pura sharir tut gaya tha. Aaj ka din tha shayad akhri din aur mein kabhi is jagah vapis na ane ki than chuka tha, socha tha bina kahe bina bataye hi chala jaun par dil itna ... itna .. itna behen ka lund hota hai ki use koi sambhal nahi sakta..

Mein chup chap lunch kar raha tha, vo bhi ... shayad mujhse kuch baat sunne ki umeed thi use ? par kyu ? kyun mein uski umeed ko pura karun jab vo meri har umeed ko tod chuki hai...

" kya hua hai ? " akhir vo boli.

" kuch nahi " mene bina apna khana roke kaha.

" 2 din se baat nahi ki, everything is all right ? "

" hmm... busy tha transfer hai to yahan ka kaam handover de raha tha usi wajah se "

" kab jaa rahe ho ? "

" kal ki flight hai " kehne se pehle ek aur umeed jagi thi ki shayad ab ? ab kuch bolegi.. lekin hua is bar bhi kuch nahi.. Vo lunch... adha ghanta meri zindagi ka sabse chota waqt tha jiski yadein uski chuban bhut lambi thi..

Office mein farewell hua, nikalte wqt akansha mil gayi, nazre mili to usne chalne ke liye kaha. Mein janta tha ye jo sab ho raha hai akhri baar ho raha hai iske baad sirf yaad reh jayegi mere pas aur afsos bhara ye dard, jise mein ghamand bana chuka tha, kyun nahi banata, jise kadar nahi uske liye apna-pan dikhane ki jarurat bhi kya hai. Wo 10 minute ki walk sirf khamoshi mein badal gayi, jab tak mera apartment aa gaya.

" bye akansha.. " na hath mila na hi nazre. Usne bhi bye kaha aur mein uppar aa gaya. Ye rukha pan tha mera ya phir tuta hua dil keh nahi sakta par mein itna janta tha ki mein bahut dukhi hun.. itna ki shayad use koi aur samajh paye.

Subh ki flight thi, rahul gussa tha mere yun jane se lekin ana jana to ab zindagi mein ek insan ke liye aam baat ho gayi thi. Hum aaj ke waqt par marne ke baad 2 din kisi ko dhang se yaad nahi rakhte ye to phir jeeti jati zindagi thi. Mene use gale lagaya aur use delhi ane ke liye keh kar nikal gaya. Ajeeb hote hain hum insan jis jagah par rehna chahte hain ek pal mein use dur bhagne ke liye bechain ho jate hain. Pure raste meri nazar phone par thi, ek message ki umeed mein.. ek.. Taxi mein baitha phone ko itne gusse se dekh raha tha ki ek pal man kiya ki dur faink dun ise, par tabhi driver ki awaz se mein apni soch se bahar aya, airport aa chuka tha. Bag lekan checkin karaya aur boarding pass lekar gate par pahuch gaya. Abhi 30 minute baki the.. jo mere liye sabse jada bhari the.. mein bas jald se jald yahan se jana chahta tha kyun ki mujhe lag raha tha ki yahan se jane ke baad hi mujhe is ghutan se chutkara milega... par mein ye bhul gaya tha ki mein kisi insan se jitna dur bhag lun par khud se kaise ?

Meri nazar khud ba khud phone par chali gayi, unlock karke bas yahi dekha ki koi notification ayi hai ya nahi.. par kuch nahi tha, adha ghanta tha abhi, mein wahin chair par baith gaya. Khali admi ke dimag mein darzan sawal aa jate hain ...

kyu fikar nahi hai use ? itna karne ke baad bhi kya ek choti si umeed bhi galat thi use ? kya ek baar bhi phone nahi kar sakti thi ? Pyar ka rishta na sahi par kuch to hai hum dono ke bich to ? Itna ghamand, itna ego ? itna attitude ? kya pyar aisa hota hai ? kya rishte mein insan khud ke bare mein soch kar kuch bhi karta hai ? kya use dusre ki koi parwah nahi ?

Itne sawalon ke baad khud par gussa aa raha tha, hatne ka naam hi nahi le rahe the, mene ghadi mein time dekha sirf 2 minute hi beete the.. ye kya mazak hai ? itni der se baithne ke baad bhi sirf 2 minute.. Dhayan hat hi nahi raha tha, kuch der idhar udhar dekh kar waqt katne ki sochi, flight ki timing board par nazar jamaye rakhi aur purra schdule padne laga.. vo sahayd sahi baat hai.. insan ka dil jab uske sath na ho to vo dunia ka koi bhi kaam karne baith jata hai.. murda insan bhi to aise hi hota hai na.. ankhein khol do to dekhta rahega aur band kar do to bas sota rahega...

8 minute nikle the bas... itni irritaton hui ki ek baar apni jagah se khada ho gaya par phir wahin baith gaya, lachar insan bana dia tha mujhe ... gussa aa raha tha.. par kisi tarah khud ko roka, mene phone liya aur game khelne laga, yahi sahi tarika tha jo mera waqt katta aur mera dimag ka dhyan bhatkata.. kuch der to mene use khela lekin utne pure waqt mein ek baar bhi mera dimag hi nahi laga game mein.. maybe 10 minute bitaye honge mene lekin man hi nahi laga.. samajh se pare tha mere.. pehli baar mein itna lachar tha.. ' mein kabhi kisi se pyar nahi karunga please koi is dard se mujhe azadi de de ' game band karte hi dil se yahi nikla.

Announcement mein kuch minute the to mene kano mein earphone lagaya aur monitor ki traf dekhta hua song play kar dia.. buri kismat mein shayad ganne bhi vo chalne the jisne is zakhm par namak dal dia... Song play hua channa mereya

Band karna chahta tha song, lekin ganne ke lafzon ke us ehsas ko mein band nahi kar paa raha tha, jo dard shayad andar hi tha vo ankhon mein ane laga. Song khatam hua aur mene earphone nikal die, kuch minute the mere pas ya nahi the nahi pata mein sidhe washroom mein ja pahuncha, ghuste sath mujhe meri shakal dekhni chahie thi lekin mein janta tha ki mera kya halat hai, mene bas nal khola aur muh dhone laga, lekin kya is pani se mere ankhon ke pani ko rok pana asan tha ? nahi.. vo nahi ruk rahe the... mein rone laga.. bina kisi awaz ke roo raha tha.. ankhon se ansu beh rahe the, lagatar pani ko chehre par mar raha tha par rona band nahi ho raha tha.. jaruri tha ya nahi keh nahi sakta par mene ab nal band kar dia tha, chehra utha kar aine mein dekha, chehre par pani tha par khud ko dekhte hi phir se rona shuru ho gaya, chehra aisa kanp raha tha mano thande barf mein rakh dia ho, bas... koi to rok de is dard ko .. bahut kosish ki koi madad kar de... par koi apna tha hi kaha...Kisi tarah ankhon se ansu saaf kiye, chehra saaf kiya aur bahar nikal gaya.. Shayad aaj pehli baar mein kisi ke liye roya tha shayad ladkon ke rona maiyne nahi rakhta kyun ki unke ansu pani hote hain.. par sach kahun .. pani hi sahi.. inhe ankhon se nikalne ke baad andar se pura sharir khali ho gaya... ek khali hole ki tarah jisme itna andhera tha ki usne is dunia ki sabhi roshni ko bekar kar dia..

Flight mein baithte hi phone off kar dia aur ankh band karke ghante ke is safar mein baith gaya, vapis apne ghar jane ke liye...

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 99

Hum jab khud ko nahi samajh patte ki hua kya hai to dusron ka samjhna bhi mushkil ho jata hai, maa ko laga to tha ki mein shant hun par kyun ye unhone nahi pucha aur puchti to bhi mere pas jawab nahi hota kyun ki mein khud nahi janta tha. Hafta beetne ko tha, na mujhe meri khabar thi aur na hi kisi ko meri, new setup ki vajah se kaam bahut tha aur mera focus bhi sirf usi par tha.

Saturday tha, sab ya to jaldi chale gaye the ya apna time pura karke, mein abhi kaam hi nipta raha tha, next week har halat mein ise process mein lana tha vaise bhi time ki koi parwah thi hi nahi.

" han aaj bhi thoda late ho jayega, khana bana kar rakh dena khud le lunga, han theek hai " phone cut karke mene ghadi mein time dekha, adhe ghante ka kaam aur tha, takreeban 9:35 par mein office se nikla, halki halki delhi ki sardi hawa aur sardi ki vajah se sunsan sadkein, sukun dila rahi thi. Mein office se nikal kar kuch kadam hi nikale honge mere kadam vahin ruk gaye. Dhoka ankhon ka tha ya kismat kar rahi thi par akansha mere samne khadi thi. React karne ke liye na to lafz the na hi kuch aur.... par iski umeed nahi thi...

Mein itna hairan tha ki kuch soch pane ki kosish tak nhi ki, kadam khud ba khud uski taraf bade, vo behad simple andaz mein mujhe hi dekh rahi thi, mein uske nazdeek pahunchte hi jaa raha tha aur jab uske najdeek aya..

" do you know what i feel ? " mein abhi khada hi hua tha uske pas.

" i.. i.. kya ? "

" you think i don't know anything ? " mein kuch soch hi nahi paa raha tha to uske sawalon ka kya jawab deta, ajeeb sa dimag ho chuka tha.

" tum yahan kaise ? "

" do you think i don't understand ? "

" did you ever asked how i felt ? "

" did you ever notice ? "

" did you ask me ? " uske sawalon ke sath uski awaz bhi bhari ho gayi thi.

" akansha "

" no.. you didn't .. you didn't said a single thing and never thought what i wanted to say and still you think you are right ? "

" tell me ? why you thought everything is right from your end and wrong from my end ? "

" i don't... i just thought you didn't care " finally mera dil jo itne dino se band pada tha vo khul gaya.

" meri value kya thi tumhari life mein.. bas kuch din ki dosti, ise jada kya .. "

" kya expectation rakhta tumse ki mein jaa raha hun to tumhe bura feel ho raha hai ya nahi ? ya phir ye ki itne din ki mulakat ke andar mein tumse pyar karne laga aur galti kar di ek choti si umeed laga baitha ki shayad tumhe bura lagega par tumhe kya farak pada kuch nahi ? bas usi mein dil dukh gaya akansha.. aur is kadar dukh gaya ki dard khatam hi nahi ho raha .. " bolte hue mein rone vala tha isliye chup ho gaya taki himmat ikhati kar saku. Ye dard samajh nahi aa rha tha apne liye aa raha tha ya uske liye.

" you know everything ? " vo khuli hui ankhon se meri taraf dekhte hue boli.
______________________________

" tumne sab apni marzi se decide kar liya ki mene kya socha ? "

" kya ek baar bhi tumne ye nahi pucha ki akansha tumhe kaisa laga ki mein jaa raha hun ? did you asked me before leaving .. ki i quit... "

" puch nahi sakte the ek baar... kya ho jata puch lete to.. "

" kya hota agar puch leta mein to ? " mein bol pada. Vo ek pal ke liye mujhe ghurne lagi, uske chehre par gussa tha jise vo chupa nahi paa rahi thi.

" to mein tumhe yahi kehti ki kyun jaa rahe ho tum bhi mujhe chhod kar.. kya mein itni buri hun ki har koi mujhe apna thoda waqt bhi nahi de sakta.. "

" tumne ek baar bhi nahi bola akansha.. "

" kuch batein bolne ke liye nahi hoti "

" mein bhagwan nahi hun jo har batein padh lun.. kabhi kabhi hume batana bhi padta hai "

" hmm " vo chup ho gayi aur mein yun khada use dekhta raha umeed mein ki vo kuch kahegi par vo nahi boli.

" i never thought akansha ki mein tumse pyar karne lagunga, aur usi wajah se bas umeed kar baitha.. kyun ki mein janta hun ki tum mujhe kabhi pyar nahi kar paogi "
vo ek pal khamosh khadi rahi, mera dil janta tha ki is waqt mein kaise chup tha, i know..ki jo mein ek hafta pehle kho chuka hun aaj use puri tarah se kho dene wala tha.

" mene jaisa kaha.. u know everything.. tum khud se itna kaise soch lete ho "

" remember you said... ki jis pyar mein umeed ki jarurat padh jaye vo pyar kabhi aage nahi badh sakta.. " uski is baat se indication mila jaise sab kuch khatam.

" mein.. to kuch bhi bolta hun... " ankhein malte hue mein bola varna ansu bahar aa hi jata.

" tum bolte nahi sirf sochte ho, apne man se kuch bhi... tumne ye kaise soch liya ki tumhare jane se mujhe koi farak nahi padega, tum ye kaise keh sakte ho mein tumse kabhi pyar nahi karungi.... tumne ye kaise soch liya ki mujhe tumhari koi fikar nahi hai... tumne ye kaise soch liya ki mein khush rahungi tumhari jane ke baad.. mujhe batao..har chiz tum kaise soch sakte ho.. "

" par tumne rukne ke liye bhi to nahi kaha "

" shut up ankit.. shut up.." vo thodi unchi awaz mein boli par uske lafzon mein ladkhdahat thi.

" i m sorry.. " mein bola.

" sorry for what.. "

" pata nahi.. bas i m sorry.. nd thank you "

" kisliye.. " vo jhinkte hue phir boli.

" for those memories i spend with you.. " mein bas roo hi deta pata nahi kyun mujhe itna rona aa raha tha.

" are you mad ? tum kya soch rahe ho ... "

" yahi ki tum chali jaogi.. "

" shut up... idiot... mein itni dur se kya jane ke liye aaungi ? " vo mere thoda kareeb ayi.

" han ye bhi hai.. " mene phir apni ankhein saaf ki. " sorry "

" kisliye " usne apne shabd ko lamba khincha.

" umeed karne ke liye, shayad mein ye bhul gaya ki pyar mein chota bada uncha nicha nahi hona chahie, mujhe khud se kehna chahie tha bas mene isliye nahi kaha kyun ki i thought tumhe kyun farak padega... mein hun kaun ? mere hone na hone se aaj tak kisi ko koi farak nahi pada to ab kyun padega ? " vo mere pas ayi, usne mere hath pakde aur khadi ho gayi.

" kai baar hume bhagwan banne ki jaruat nahi padti hai ankit, bina kahe dil jaan leta hai... umeed honi chahie par wo umeed rishte se badi nahi.. "

" mein bhi kya kya soch baitha tha... "

" keh dete ek baar... "

" next time dhayan rakhunga.. maybe kehna behtar hota hai, kam se kam puch hi lunga.. "

" hmm " vo halka muskurai, do pal nahi lagte sab kuch theek hone mein, dikat kahan hoti hai.. kami kahan reh jati hai vo mujhe abhi samajh aya.. kami hoti hai humare andar jo hum apni batein apni umeed ke chalte keh nahi patte, shayad sahi kaha tha akansha ne rishton ke aage hum umeed ko jada bada bana dete hain.

" par tumne mujhe jane se pehle bye bhi nahi kaha tha " mujhe achanak yaad aya to mene shikayat tone mein kaha.

" kaise kehti.. "

" kyun ? tumhare andar bhi attitude aa gaya tha kya ? "

" thappad khaoge "

" nahi mar sakti.. "

" acha mar ke dikhau ? "

" kaise marogi, hath to mene pakad rakhe hai " mene uske hath thode uppar karke dikhaye jiske baad hum dono ek bar ek pal ke liye hanse aur chup ho gaye.

" tumne mujhe bataya hi nahi tha "

" matlab ? " mein thoda confuse ho gaya.

" tumne mujhe bataya hi nahi tha ankit ki tum kab jaa rahe ho, mujhe to pata hi nahi tha tum chale gaye, mujhe rahul se pata chala.. jab mein tumhare apartment ayi office jane se pehle " uske kehte hi mene uska hath chhoda aur apna matha pakad liya, ye to mere dhayan hi nahi tha ki mene use bataya kaha tha ki mein kab jaa raha hun.

" i am sorry... "

" bas ab.. tumhare chehre pr sab hai kuch kehne ki jarurat nahi "

" tum kaisi bani ho "

" matlab ? "

" matlab generally ladkiyan aisi nahi hoti, unme attitude hota hai.. tumhari jagah koi aur hota to vo kabhi mujhse baat nahi karti.. mene ek jagah pada tha jahan ladki ko kabhi koi bhi farak hi nahi padta tha ki ladka use baat kare ya na kare, jhagda hone par kabhi reply nahi karti thi ... chahe galti uski khud ki bhi.. vo uske samne ro gaya phir bhi.. use koi farak nahi pada "

" aisa kabhi nahi hota ankit, insan ek pal bhi kisi se pyar kare na to use rota hua dekh nahi sakta.. "

" ye kaise pata chalega ki vo sach mein pyar karti thi ? "

" jaise mujhe pata chala vaise.. " uske jawab ne mujhe chup kara dia. Bolne ke liye shabd nahi the aur sochne ke liye uske jitni soch nahi thi.

" par tum yahan kaise ? " ek dum mere dimag mein aya.

" tumhari wajah se idiot.. sab kuch arrange kiya jaldi jaldi.. tumse milne ke liye.. "

" aaj tak mere liye koi market se chochlate kharid kar nahi laya aur tum mujhse milne aa gayi.. " mein muskura dia aur vo bhi, sach aaj mein haar gaya par in a better way vo bhi is ladki se, kyun ki ab yahi ladki meri zindagi ka ek lauta aisa pal tha jise mein marte dum tak sath rakhna chahta tha, vo kehte hain na true love, vo ho hi gaya tha mujhe..

" chalein.. " mene uska hath pakda aur hum dono chal die, halki sardi mein uske sath, bahut si batein hui... dil ka bhoj aise halka hua jaise subh bhari saman rakh kar apni redi mein bechne nikla hun aur sham tak sab kuch bik gaya, sahi mayine mein apas mein ek dusre se baat cheet karna aur apne rishte mein hamesha rishte ko eham rakhna na ki khud ko vo khud ki khushi hi hoti hai bas hum yahi nahi samajh patte.

" jhel paogi mujhe ? " akansha ka hotel aa chuka tha, aur use chhod kar jane se pehle mein bola, usne meri taraf dekha aur dekhti rahi aur phir mere kareeb akar bade halke aur pyar se mere gaal par apne honth rakhe aur meri taraf dekhti hui badi halki awaz mein boli.

" good night "

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 100

Mein subh jaldi nikla, man to nahi tha office jane ka lekin office se chutti milne se rahi thi isliye jaldi uth kar mein pehle akansha se milna chahta tha, isliye jo mein kar sakta tha vo kar raha tha. Theek 8 baje mein uske hotel ja pahuncha tha jahan vo tehri thi, 10 baje mere office pahunchne ka time tha, 20 min late hi sahi itna chalta hai ye janta tha aur yahan se mera office ka rasta adha ghanta yani abhi mere pas 2 ghante to the hi. Mein reception par pahuncha, uska room no. pucha jo kal raat puchna chahie tha, balki mein itna bevkuf hun ki mein usko room tak chhodne nhi gaya kuch jada hi khush ho gaya tha shayad mein vaise bhi kya karna chahie aur kya nahi ye sab mujhe abhi pata hi nahi tha.

Mene room ki bell bajai, mein janta tha vo so rahi hogi, 2-3 bar bell bajane ke baad room khula. Akansha ke vo bikhre hue baal, chehre par nind aur uska night suit man to yahi kia ki abhi galle laga lu par apne emotions par kabu kar liya, naya naya pyar aur uska utawlapan sala maza hi kuch aur hai iska to.. sach mein uchal raha tha kuch dil mein....

" good morning.. " battisi dikhate hue mein bola. Vo ek dum nind se jagi aur usne mujhe dhayan se dekha.

" ankit... morning.. " uske chehre par smile aa gayi, kasam se ek pal uske chehre ko niharta raha, sach.. agar aisi morning roz mile to mein zindagi bhar use pehle uthne ko ready hun. " par tum yahan ? kya time hua hai ? " vo ek dum hosh mein ayi.

" 8 baje hai abhi.. "

" ohh i thought mein jada so gayi " usne apne baal piche karte hue kaha. " i am so sorry.. come in.. " vo apni jagah se hati aur mein andar aa gaya. Andar akar jab mein piche ghuma to akansha room band karte hue mere pas ayi aur mere gale lag gayi. Meri to hearbeat aisi badi jaise kisi ne current ki nangi taar sidhe dil mein ghusa di ho. Mujhe samajh nahi aya ki mein vapis use hug back karun ya nahi, mere hath bich mein hi ruke the, aisa nahi tha ki mene aaj se pehle use hug nahi kiya tha par ye warmness, ye closeness... ya yun kahun .. ye gudgudi aaj tak nahi hui thi.. sahi mein aisa lag raha tha jaise ye kudrat ka vo takya hai jise lapet kar mein zindagi bhar sota rahun aur kabhi uthun hi nahi...

Vo mujhse alag hui aur mere chehre ko ghurti rahi jo kahin aur khoya hua tha, " kya hua mr. thinker " uski awaz se mein hosh mein aya.

" nahi .. kuch nahi.. how was the night ? " mene apne uthe hath niche kar liye, vo meri is halat ko samajh kar andar hi andar muskura rahi thi aur vo uske chehre par tha.

" it was good, relaxed and... " vo jakar bed par baith gayi aur mein uske bagal mein jaa baitha.

" and ? " vo kuch kehna cha rahi thi par keh nhi paa rahi thi, ek chiz jo mene abhi tak akansha ke sath reh kar sikhi thi vo thi care.. Mene uska hath apne hath mein liya.

" something is bothering you ? "

" no.. " usne apna chehra utha kar meri taraf dekha, uske chehre ka glow ankhon se utar kar dil mein chap gaya tha kasam se.. kabhi kabhi insan itna khubsurat lagta hai ki us uppar wale ko shukria kehne ka dil karta hai ki usne insan banaya hai....

" then ? " mere puchne par vo kuch nahi boli aur apna sar mere kandhe par rakh lia aur mere hath par apne hath majbut kar liye. Sukun shanti.. apnapan.. iske alawa dunia bekar hai.. ye insan mere andar aise bas gaya tha jo meri ruh tak fail gaya tha, sach itna pyar kar baitha tha mein ise....

Akansha ke chehre par bal aa gira to mene use utha kar piche kar dia aur phir uska chehra utha kar apni taraf kiya aur pucha " kya hua madam "

" believe nahi ho raha " vo boli.

" kya ? " mein samajh to gaya tha lekin uske muh se sunna chahta tha, yahi to khushi hai pyar mein... jahan apko pata hai ki samne wala kya kehna chahta hai phir bhi aap bache ki tarah anjan bante hain aur uske muh se sunna chahte the.. sach bachpan aur pyar mein koi farak nahi, salle dono hi kabhi bade nahi hote...

" ki ... "

" ki mujh jaisa ladka tumhe kaise mil gaya ? "

" smart, dashing, intelligent.. hai na ? " mene mazak kiya, kya karun adat se majbur, ruka nahi gaya , vo meri baat sun kar muskura di. Joker banna pasand tha zindagi bhar, is chehre par muskan ko lane ke liye.

" u know "

" hmm "

" lucky mein hun.. ki mujhe tum mili, har bar yahi sochta tha ki mujhe aaj tak kuch nahi mila, par ab jab mila to usne zindagi bhar ki kasar puri kar di, ab kuch chahie bhi nahi zindagi mein.. sab kuch mil gaya mujhe " mein kuch jada bol gaya, na jane kaise... par ye mein nahi sala dil bol raha tha, jaban uska sath de rahi thi, galla in dono ke barabar ki madad kar raha tha, kul mila kar sab salle mile hue the...

" kisi ko life mein itni importance mat do ankit ki uske jane ki takleef bardasht na ho " akansha chutte hi boli, ek pal ke liye mujhe uski baat pasand nahi ayi par jaldi hi samajh gaya ki usne aisa kyun kaha. Uske kehte hi mene use apna hath chudaya aur usko cuddle karte hue bola.

" jaa kar dikhao... bhoot ban kar sayein ki tarah chipka rahunga.. " mene hanste hue jawab dia jise sun kar vo hans di.

" samajh nahi ata... ki tum aise khush kaise ho jate ho achanak se... iti badi baat ko itna simple kaise bana lete ho.. "

" kyun ki meri khushi mere sath baithi hai.. aur jab khushi tumhare sath hi ho to kaun bhala khush nahi rahega.. " mera andaz bada hi alag tha kehne ka, ye sun kar vo dhire dhire phir se mere galle lag gayi aur kuch der aise hi rahi aur is baar mene bhi pura respond kiya, sach night suit mein bhi aisa lag raha tha jaise andar tak chu liya ho mene use.

" bas don't ever leave me again like you did "

" promise "

" but ek baat puchun ? " vo mujhse alag hui.

" hmm "

" tumhari nosy itni red kyun ho jati hai ? " ek pal baad dono khub hanse.

" office nahi jana ? "

" jana hai yar and sorry.. mein tumhare sath aaj ka tym spend nahi kar paunga.."

" i know, thank you.. "

" kisliye ? "

" mujhe milne ke liye "

" bore to nahi ho jaogi na mujhse ? "

" hattt.... " vo bed se khade hote hue boli. " lunch nahi sahi par breakfast ? "

" bilkul ji "

" ok, tum bas 5 minute do mein fresh hokar ati hai, tum tab tak breakfast ka order de do "

" 5 minute matlab 5 minute na.. 25 minute to nahi na ? "

" hehehe very funny ? " uski is chide hue expression dekh kar bahut hansi ayi. Vo to washroom mein chali gayi, par... remember usne kuch der pehle kaha tha ki believe nahi ho raha ? sawal to uska tha par sach believe nahi ho raha tha ki ye sach hai.... abhi wala.. jo ho raha tha... adhe ghante ka samay beet gaya sala pata hi nahi chala... ye acha waqt yun hi kaise beet jata hai ? isme koi time please ka option nahi hota kya ?
______________________________

" what ? " naha kar jab akansha bahar ayi to ek pal mein use dekhta raha, phir apni nazre jhuka li, aisa to mein kabhi nahi tha hain na ? mein to mauke dhundta tha kab aisa pal mujhe koi de de aur mein lut lun usee... kya laga tha mujhe nhi pata chalega ki mein kab itna badal gaya ? apne aap ko bhul gaya apne kal ko bhul gaya ? bhula kuch nahi hun... par agar koi ek insan ko badal sakta hai to vo ek insan hi hota hai ab vo badlta kaise hai ye bhi insan par hi nirbhar karta hai..

" breakfast oder nahi kia ? "

" nahi "

" why ? "

" kyun ki mein tumhe breakfast yahan nahi balki bahar se karunga.. delhi aai ho to kam se kam yahan ka swad to chak lo .. "

" hmm... jaisa aap kahe mr. " uske baad hum dono bahar gaye aur mene use paranthe khilaye.. mashur to nahi par han badia.. ye sab mene pune mein bahut miss kia, do hi to mashur chiz hai yahan ki ek to laundia dusra yahan ka khana pina... . Bade hi yadgar pal the ye mere liye, par mein janta tha jaise jaise ye waqt aage badh raha hai vaise vaise jane ka pal najdeek aa raha hai. Mein hotel tak vapis aya, uske sath uske room tak gaya, aisa nahi tha ki mujhe jaldi thi jane ki lekin jab vo room khol kar andar gayi, mujhse andar nahi jaya gaya. Na jane kyun par andar vapis jane ki himmat nahi hui. Vo shayad samajh gayi thi isliye khud andar ghuste hi jab use mehsus nahi hua ki mein andar nahi aa raha vo ghumi aur vahin deewar ke sahare khadi ho gayi.

Ek pal hum dono ek dusre ko dekhte rahe, kya bolna hai isliye nahi balki isliye ki kaise bolein... Kisi ko pane ke liye jitna mushkil hota hai use kuch kehna use jada mushkil kisi ko alvida kehna hota hai...

" i think i have to leave.. " kehna bahut kuch chahta tha par wahi hai ki kaha mene kuch aur hi.. pata nahi kyun par lafzon se jana hi likha. Usne halki muskan ke sath ek pal apni nazre jhukai.

" will you be alright.. " usne meri ankhon mein dalte hue pucha. Nahi.. blkl nahi.. man ne kaha to par jazbat itne the ki ek pal ke liye mujhe use nazre hatani padi. Phir uske thoda najdeek jakar uske galon par halki si ungli firate hue han mein sar hila dia, pata nahi mene aisa kyun kiya.. par use aise chune ka dil kar raha tha. Usne meri ungli ke sparsh se apni ankhein band kar li aur mera hath pakad liya.

" juth bhi nahi bolne ata tumhe dhang se .... "

" kuch kehna hai to bolo ? " usne meri taraf dekhte hue kaha. Vo samne se keh rahi thi aur mein bevkuf kuch keh nahi paa raha tha.

" don't miss me too much... " mein hansa to par ankhon se nahi sirf shabdon se hi, vo fauran mere galle lag gayi aur is baar mujhe sochne ki jarurat nahi padi hathon ne khud ba khud use behad tight jod lia khud se. Kuch der baad jab use alag kiya jiska ek pal bhi man nahi tha sahi keh raha hun to uski naak phir lal thi, jise dekh mein hans dia.

" i m gonna miss this... this.. " mene uske chehre ki har tarf apni ungli rakhi aur phir dil ki aur ishara kiya... " and this too... "

" why you love me so much ? " usne aise sawal kiya jaise use mera pyar karna pasand na ho, par kya farak padta hai mujhe is baat se.. mein to karta hi hun na aur isme mujhe accept karne mein koi sharam nahi. Mene bas apne kandhe utha die aur samjha dia use ki mujhe nahi pata.
______________________________

Mein janta tha vo mera intezar karegi, akansha airport ke entrance par thi aur nazar uski samne nahi thi jabki kisi ka intezar kar rahi thi, jaise jaise queue aage badh rahi thi uski ankhon se umeed jaa rahi thi, bich bich mein vo apne phone ko dekhti, bechaini uske chehre par thi aur waqt hath se nikalta ja raha tha. Jab use uski ticket aur Id mangi to use vo pehle dia gaya nahi ek bar usne phir piche dekha lekin use vo chehra nahi dikha, usne lambi sans chhodi aur akhir vo andar pahunch gayi. Andar ghuste hi usne apna phone bag mein dalne ki sochi ki tabhi vo bajne laga..

" expectation ha... " uske phone uthate hi mein bola.

" ankit... " vo palti lekin ab bahar nahi jaa sakti thi. Kanch ke bade si deewar thi aur mein use bhi dur khada tha lekin hum dono ek dusre ko dekh paa rahe the. " why ? tum to jante the na mein kab jaa rahi hun "

" bilkul.. tabhi to tumhare chehre ki pareshani pichle 20 minute se dekh raha hun "

" tum bahut bure ho "

" tumne chuna hi insan bura hai.. " mein muskura dia, par uske chehre par muskan kahin nahi thi.

" tumne aisa kyun kia ? kyun nahi mile ? " vo ache se janti thi delhi airport par entry nahi kar sakte non-traveller.

" aise hi... " mere pas koi jawab nahi tha, shayad tha bhi to kehne ke liye nahi mil raha tha.

" i hate you ... " vo shayad rone wali thi.

" don't ... mein bina bataye ja sakta tha lekin use tumhe bahut bura lagta aur milta to shayad tum ja nahi pati.. isliye jo ho raha hai vo best hai akansha "

" no.. you have to be here.. pas to aa jao "

" nahi.. "

" why ? "

" to mein tumhe jane nahi dunga.. "

" ankit mujhe samajh nahi aa raha ki mein ... "

" don't worry akansha " mein samajh gaya ki vo kya kehna chahti thi. " mein tumhe nahi chhod raha aur na hi tum mujhe.. to phir kyun darna.. dur ho rahe hain alag thodi... hai na ? " mein use samjha raha tha jabki uska jana mujhse bardasht nahi ho raha tha.

" aisa kyun lag raha hai abhi abhi mile the aur itni jaldi dur ho gaye hum.. "

" tumhe kaise pata ? "

" kya ? "

" mein yahi soch raha tha.. " mene fauran kaha, meri baat sun kar usne apna hath kanch par rakh dia. Dur se mein dekh paa raha tha ki uski ankhein bhar ayi hai.

" go akansha.. now just turn and go.. "

" bhag jao ab.. varna pitai kar dunga.. " mein kehte hue hansa aur apni sans control ki vo meri baat sun kar hansi to par uski ankh se ansu utar aya. Vo ghum gayi, shayad un ansu ko chupana chahti thi.

" akansha... "

" hmm.. "

" tum bahut cute ho... bas ab jao.. bye.. " kehte hue mene phone cut kar dia aur jaldi si ankh saaf karke vahan se hat gaya.

" helo.. ankit... " jaise hi use mehsus hua vo fauran ghumi par nazar ke aage vo nahi tha jo hona chahie tha. Usne phone milaya lekin vo mene uthaya hi nahi. Ye pal dono ke liye akele rehna jaruri tha, adapt karna jaruri tha, varna jo pyar abhi shuru hua hai usme duri khal rahi thi, use bhi mujhe bhi.. Dono ka yun emotional hona bahut ajeeb tha, par jab mein vapis aa raha tha tab mujhe ek baat mehsus hui ki vo ajeeb nahi tha balki dil se hua ek sacha pyar tha, jiske dur hone par use bas bura lag raha tha. Tabhi na vo milna chahta tha aur na hi bina mile reh pa raha tha.

Mein janta tha ki uski flight land hone wali hai aur ek ajeeb si kashm-kash thi dil mein ki kaise baat karun, use bura laga hoga.. mene jaise use bheja usme.. par mein kaise samjhau use ki aisa karna jaruri tha.. kuch der is halchal se nipatni ki kosish mein waqt beet gaya aur mujhe yaad aya ki uski flight land hue 10 minute nikal chuke hain. Mene phone kia... ring jati rahi.. jati rahi... jaise jaise ring bajne ka waqt badh raha tha meri heartbeat badh rahi thi, mein samajh gaya ki use bura lag gaya hai isliye vo answer nahi kar rahi .. phone bas katne ki wala tha ki finally vo answer hua..

" pahunch gayi ? "

" hmm.. just on time you called.. can i call you back ? "

" han bilkul.. " phone cut hua to mujhe laga jaise ho gaya sab khatam.. Adha ghanta phone ki taraf dekhta raha ki phone ayega.. ayega.. ayega.. par vo bajne ka naam nahi le raha tha, mein soch raha tha khud karun ya nahi.. vo bhi samajh nahi aa raha tha... par tabhi phone bja...aur meri jan mein jaan ayi.

" sorry luggage lene mein time lag gaya, just in taxi now "

" hmm.. i thought.. "

" you thought ki mein phone nahi karungi, naraz hongi right ? "

" hmm.. "

" itna sab kuch kyun soch lete ho tum "

" i am sorry akansha.. but that was.. "

" don't be i know.. mein bas ... " vo ek pal chup hui... " bas ek baar chuna chahti thi .. taki lage na ki ye sab dream hai.. "

" dream nahi hai.. bilkul nahi hai.. aur agar hai to mein kabhi is nind se jagne nahi dunga ... "

" kaha se latte ho itni achi batein ? "

" lane ki jarurat nahi padti.. jab bhi tumhare bare mein sochta hun bas nikalta khud se yahi hai "

" bas ek dikkat hai.. " mein bola.

" kya ? "

" ab tumhe mujhe dantne ke liye roz phone karna padega.. "

" idiot.. " uski hansi sun kar muskura pada. Dar lagta hai pata nahi kyun, jabki itni technology ke baad hum alag kahan reh patte hain kisi se... par phir bhi vo touch.. vo feel.. vo hath pakdna.. vo ek chota sa hug hi.. use to hum mehsus nahi kar patte. Akansha nahi balki mein to bilkul naya tha in sab mein, jaldi hyper hota tha, jada sochta tha, ek din ki baat hai 5 bar phone karne ke baad bhi usne nahi uthaya to mein pata nahi kya kya soch baitha jabki reason tha ki vo phone ghar chhod gayi thi market jane se pehle.. isi baat ka dar tha mujhe uske dur hone par, mene use bhi ye baat batai, kyun ki mein soch kar bas khud tak ise rakhna nahi chahta tha.. Vo meri halat to samajh rahi thi aur samjha bhi rahi thi lekin mein kabhi kabhi jada hi over-react kar deta jis chakar mein kabhi unchi awaz mein use baat bhi ho jati. Complexity dimag mein bahut jada badh rahi thi samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya kar raha hun kabhi kabhi.. phir ek din...

" ankit.. "

" i am so sorry akansha.. i just.. samajh nahi ata kyun aisa react karta hun mein.. shayad tumse itna dur hun isliye "

" kisne kaha dur ho.. dekho samne to ho.. " usne apni smile dikhate hue kaha. Mein ek pal ke liye shant hua par uski baat sahi thi, hum dono aksar video conference ke through ek dusre ko dekh lete the.. par baat to wahi thi ki vo feel missing thi...

" look... i know.. tum kya miss kar rahe ho.. aur sahi kahun to mein bhi wahi miss kar rahi hun.. chalo ek kaam karte hain.. "

" kya ? "

" hath rakho screen par.. "

" kyun ? "

" do na.. " uske kehne par mene rakh dia aur phirusne bhi vaisa hi kia, " ab ankhein band karke bas ye socho ki mein yahi hun tumhare sath..meri awaz to tumhre kano mei hai.. tumhra hath mere hath mein.. jab jab tum mujhe sochoge tab tab hawa tumhre chehre ko chuegi.. " ye sab juth tha mein janta tha par uske bolne par sab mehsus ho raha tha, shayad isliye bhi kyun ki aaj se pehle uske muh se aisa mene suna tha hi nahi tha.

" feel better ? "

" much better " mein hanste hue bola.

" see.. Akansha the love therapist ka kamal.. next time appointment leni padegi Mr. aur is baar ki fees ? "

" hahaha.. kya lengi fees mein.. "

" Yahi smile.. hamesha.. " uske chehre ko dekh kar na jane kyun man mein ek khayal aya aur vo is waqt kyun aya keh nahi sakta.. par aya..

" akansha mujhe tumhe kuch batana hai "

" hmm... bolo.. " mein kuch sochta use pehle uska phone bajne laga, " ankit is it urgent ? " usne phone ke baad mujhse pucha.

" nahi... itna bhi nahi..

" ohk then my love.. shall your lady leaves... "

" hahaha.. yes she can... " uski inhi harkaton ne to dil jeet rakha tha.

" i'll text you babye... " har bar ki tarah usne ek pyari si kiss di aur mein bas use dekh kar muskurata aur call disconnect ho gaya.

Sab kuch normal chal raha tha, mein akansha ko samjhne laga, vo mujhe.. dono ek dusre ko time de pate kabhi kabhi nahi bhi de pate.. kai bar meri taraf se hi hota tha, meri adat thi jab jada thak jata to baat karna pasand nahi karta tha, akansha ko bura laga jo aam baat thi par dhire dhire use bhi samajh ane lagi meri adat . Kareeb 5 mahine yun hi beete, milnege.. har hafte yahi kehte the lekin dono itne uljhe the is kaam ki bhag daud mein ki waqt nikalta jaa raha tha. Us raat ki baat hai, jab hamari kuch batein fantasies par chal rahi thi aur pahunchte hue vo fantasies kuch jada gehra gayi.. phone par dono whtsapp par the..

" acha to janab ki fantasies itni uppar hai.. "

" use bhi jada uppar.. "

" hehehe.. ise aage mat kehna... "

" nahi.. kahunga nahi.. tumhe mehsus karwaunga.. "

" acha vo kaise.. "

" mere honth tumhare chehre ko chu rahe hain bas vo honth is waqt tumhari ungliyan hai jo tum apne chehre par faira rahi ho.. "

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 101

" aur.. "

" jaise hawa tumhe chu rahi hai vaise hi mein tumhare badan ko chune ki kosish karunga.... tumhari ankhein... honth.. tumhare hath... ungliyan... "

" ankit.. "

" hmm "

" bass.... "

" kuch galat kiya mene ? " ye message likh kar mene send nahi kia, kyun ki ek pal ke liye mujhe laga jaise mein kuch jada aage nikal gaya par sahi mayine mein meri intension bahut pure thi, pehli baar is feel ko dil mein mehsus kar raha tha, kuch soch kar mene message send kar dia.

" no idiot... its just... "

" ? "

" i missed you so much right now... and if we continue i know where it will end.. "

" hmm "

" ankit mein kuch kahun ? "

" bilkul "

" i just don't want ki hamare bich physical touch ko lekar koi bhi problem ho .. do you know na ki mein kya kehna cha rahi hun "

" akansha.. " ye ladki bhi na " tum ho na sath mein.. bas hath thame rakhna use jada touch ki filal jarurat nahi padegi mujhe.. "

" what do you mean by filal ? "

" filal matlab abhi ke lie "

" to baad mein Mr. ? "

" baad mein to hoga na... "

" shut up idiot... hehehehe.... "

" "

" i am sorry "

" ye kis khushi mein ? "

" itna acha tumhara mood mene spoil kar dia.. "

" pagalu.. "

" tumhare sath bitaya koi pal spoil nahi ho sakta.. chahe vo jaisa ho.. "

" "

Vo raat sine mein bas gayi thi, jada kuch hua nahi tha par jo hua uska har moment dil se hi nikal raha tha, us raat samajh aya ki pyar mein physical hone ki koi talab nahi hoti, sach kaha hai kisi ne ... ek bar dil pyar se bhar jaye uske baad use kisi chiz ki bhuk nahi hoti...

Ek sham mein office mein baitha tha, garmiya aa chuki thi, mein kam nipta kar thoda google par news padh raha tha tabhi akansha ka phone baja, kareeb 6 baje the ..

" han ji ... aaj jaldi off ho gaya... " mene phone uthati hi kaha.

" ankit.. " par uski awaz mein kuch aur tha.

" something is not right.. tum aa jao.. plz.. " vo behad dari hui thi. Mein fauran apni jagah se khada hua.

" akansha... kahan ho tum "

" plz.. mujhe bahut dar lag raha hai "

" tum ho kahan ? " mein fauran office se bahar nikla, kyun par nahi janta tha aisa laga jaise bahar nikalte hi mein uske pass pahunch jaunga.. aur sahi mein us pal yahi laga jaise mein uske sath usi office mein hun..

" tum plz aa jao.. mujhe bahut dar lag raha hai... "

" tum shant ho jao aur batao ho kaha... mein aa raha hun... mein ... " bas itna hi keh paya aur phone cut ho gaya.
______________________________

" are you serious ? "

" surprise ... " mujhe gussa to bahut aa raha tha par uska muskurata chehra dekh mera gussa jaise kahin kho gaya. Vo sidhe mere galle aa lagi. This is the best surprise in my whole life and i can feel it inside my heat but couldn't tell akansha.

" ye kya mazak tha yar ? " jaise hi vo mujhse alag hui mein bola.

" dar dekh rahi thi tumhara "

" acha to madamji hamara test le rahi thi.. bahut ache "

" kabhi kabhi aisa karna chahie you know "

" aur vo kyun ? "

" it feels.. good.. " usne is tarah bola ki use dekh kar aisa laga mano koi bacha ho.

" lucchi... " mene uski kamar par chunti kat di.

" oyee... "

" par achanak se kaise ? "

" kyun .. tumhe pasand nahi aya "

" offcourse.. "

" matlab nahi aya "

" are aya baba.. par mein ye puch raha tha ki tum phir jate hue rula kar jaogi "

" abhi to ek aur surprise hai.. "

" kya ? "

" sari baat yahan office ke bahar hi karni hai mr. ? "

" i'll be back " office se pack kiya aur akansha ko lekar ek shanti si jagah jaa phuncha, na hi jada shor na hi jada roshni... delhi mein aisi jagah ki bhi kami nahi thi. Sath baithe the hum, hath pakde jaise barso baad kuch mila ho vapis mujhe, itne dino se lag raha tha ki ek baar chu lun akansha ko ek baar use galle se laga lun uska hath pakad lun aur aaj waqt ne hathon mein hath de dia tha. Vo mere kandhe par sar rakh kar baithi thi aur mein sach mein bas yahi chahta tha, baat to hum log roz hi karte hain par khamoshi ki apni juban hoti hai jiska asar bina shabdon ke bhi dil mein bahut hota hai.

" is bar mein tumhe rone nahi dungi.. "

" aur is baar mein bhi tumhe airport par chhodne aunga.. "

" bhejne ki itni jaldi hai "

" mere kehne se ruk jaogi ? "

" bol kar to dekho " is bar hum dono ki nazre ek dusre ki ankhon mein thi. Mein kya bhala mana karta ? Balki mein to ye soch kar hi rone ko ho gaya tha ki vo jaa rahi hai aur meri ankhon mein aa chuka tha, na jane kaise mein itna emotional ban chuka tha ? samajh nahi aa raha tha..

" kabhi nahi... " mere do shabdon ka matlab vo samajh chuki thi aur mere is emotional lalu jaise chehre ko bhi.

" idiot.. " vo mujhse zor se lipat gayi, kaun kehta hai ladkiyun mein takat nahi hoti ? azma kar dekho ... dil tak asar hua hai uski takat ka. " roye to pitte ... "

" hat mein kyun raounga.. "

" mein kahin jaa rahi ... i am here ankit.. now.... and always now... " mene use fauran khud se alag kia.

" kya kaha tumne ? " vo muskurai.

" mein kahi nahi jaa rahi .. kabhi nahi... "

" means u... "

" mene job yahin shift kar li hai... " uski ye line mere liye itni khushi ki thi man kiya uchal uchal kar nach padu aur purre cafe mein meri taraf se sabko daru pilwa dun kasam se itni khushi sine mein bardasht nahi ho rahi thi. Mene shayad socha nahi tha ki mein aisa karunga... mene akansha ko excitment akar chum liya ek small kiss hi sahi .. bas kar di lekin.... mera chehra shayad use bata raha hoga ki mein khush hun matlab bahut hi jada aur isliye kuch nahi bol paa raha.

" i am sorry " agle pal mujhe yaad aya ki mene kiss ki hai jo ki mujhe nahi karni chahie thi.

" sorry ? kyun ? "

" vo mene.... kiss ki... us.. lie " baat khatam ki mene to usna apna sar pakad lia.

" are you mad ? ... tum us baat ko aise mat jodo.. "

" means koi dikkat nahi na sab fine ? "

" obviously " usne kaha aur mein apni khushi mein vapis aa gaya, mene use apne sine se tight laga lia matlab bahut jada vala tight.

" par itne kam time mein ? " kuch der baad khate hue mene pucha.

" hmm, bahut lamba time tha.. har ek din ... you know, tumse mil kar jane ke baad har din jitna tumhare liye difficult tha utna hi mere liye, mein janti thi tumhara ana mushkil hai ab vapis to khud hi kyun na try karun.. so jo opotunity mili bas use le li.. "

" pagalu... itni achi jagah chhod di .. "

" chhodne ke piche ki vajah bahut badi hai ... and i can't miss " usne mere hath par apna hath rakh dia.

Vapis jate hue akansha ne mujhse ek sawal kia jisme do jawab the.

" ankit kis baat ka dar hai ? and don't lie, mujhe pta hai kisi baat ka dar hai tumhare andar, aisa kya hai jo tumhe takleef de raha hai "

" dar "

" mein kuch samjhi nahi "

" tumhe khone ka dar.. tumhe naraz karne ka dar... akansha mein tumhe kho nahi sakta, aaj, kal .. kabhi nahi.. na hi naraz dekh sakta.. "

" hmm... " vo itna hi boli. Bas itna ...

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 102

Vapis jate hue akansha ne mujhse ek sawal kia jisme do jawab the.

" ankit kis baat ka dar hai ? and don't lie, mujhe pta hai kisi baat ka dar hai tumhare andar, aisa kya hai jo tumhe takleef de raha hai "

" dar "

" mein kuch samjhi nahi "

" tumhe khone ka dar.. tumhe naraz karne ka dar... akansha mein tumhe kho nahi sakta, aaj, kal .. kabhi nahi.. na hi naraz dekh sakta.. "

" hmm... " vo itna hi boli. Bas itna ...

TV par Interstellar aa rahi thi aur mein sofe par laita hua vahi dekh raha tha, akansha baal bandhte hue ayi aur mere aage akar sofe par bachi hui thodi si jagah mein lait gayi.

" so tired " usne abhi abhi flat rent par liya tha, acha bhala tha lekin usme bhi use khushi nahi thi, apni tarah set kara aur mujhse bhi karwaya. 2 Hafte se vo lagi hui thi, mein to sirf sunday hi uski help kar paa raha tha aur aaj ye 2nd sunday tha aur aaj jakar use tasali mili thi. Usne mera hath pakad kar apne uppar khud kiya kyun ki mein apni movie dekhne mein kuch jada hi magn tha, vaise bhi last ka scene chal raha tha jahan vo 5th dimension mein murf ko morsecode ke through formula bata raha tha taki earth ke logon ko bacha sake, mene bas sofe par akansha ko itni jagah di ki vo lait jaye.

" ankit "

" hmm "

" can you cuddle me tight "

" hmm " uski baat sun kar mene akansha ko thoda waist se tight pakad lia lekin dhayan to mera uspar tha hi nahi. Akansha kuch der laiti rahi aur uski nazar bhi tv par rahi par use us movie mein koi interest nahi tha. Usne apni pair se dusre pair ko sehlaya aur ek gehri sans khinchte hue usne ankh band kar li.

" ankit, you know i was thinking about the night when you said you are scared " tv ki awaz itni thi ki akansha ki baton par dhayan kam hi jaa raha tha.

" hmm " mene bhi sirf itna hi kaha.

" but mene uska response nahi dia " usne bolte hue meri taraf dekha jahan meri nazar to tv par thi. Vo fauran meri taraf palat gayi, jise meri pakad use chhut gayi aur tv se dhayan hat uski taraf ho gaya.

" movie is more important than me.. " ye ladkiyun ke tanne, mene fauran tv usi pal band kar dia.

" never " mene kaha aur remote rakh dia vaise bhi movie khatam ho chuki thi lagbhag

" kaho.. " mene uske chehre par aye hue baal piche kar diye aur kamar par hath rakh kar uski taraf dekhne laga.

" why you scared ? "

" matlab ? " hum dono ek dusre ki ankhon mein dekh rahe the.

" us raat tumne kaha ki tumhe dar hai ki tum mujhe kho doge ? aisa kyun lagta hai tumhe " uske sawal par mene nazre jhuka li kyun ki mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki mujhe aisa dar kyun hai ? par kahin na kahin is baat ka jawab bhi mere pas tha par mene apne aap ko anjan bana rakha tha kyun ki mein janta tha agar vo baat mene batai to mein sach mein ise kho dunga hamesha hamesha ke liye.

" ankit do you trust me ? "

" tumhe ye puchne ki jarurat bhi nahi hai " mene uski ankhon mein dekhte hue kaha.

" you never asked me about my past ... "

" janta hun to kya puchun "

" kitna jante ho, bas jo mene bataya, kabhi ye nahi janne ki kosish ki mein uske sath kitna close rahi hongi .. "

" akansha " mene use chup rehne ka ishara kiya kyun ki mein samajh raha tha ki vo kya kehna chahti hai "

" usne mujhe kahan kahan chua " vo chup nahi hui. " hamare bich kitni intimacy thi, kis had tak... "

" please stop... i dont care.. vo tumhara past tha.. "

" exactly.. tumhara bhi past hoga, aur mujhe pata hai sahi time ane par tum khud bataoge .. par i don't care... because i love you who you are not who you were.. so don't be scared.. mein tumhe cha kar bhi nahi chhod sakti.. " mein nahi janta tha ki vo itne ache se bhi samjha sakti hai. " aur mujhse darna chhodo idiot.. mujhe apna samjho ... aur tumhe kya lagta hai ye dar sirf tumhe hi hai ? kya mujhe nahi hai ki agar tumne mujhe chhod dia to ? "

" aisa to sirf tabhi hoga jab ye ankhein band ho jayegi kabhi na khulne ke liye "

" i hate you "

" i know "

" no seriously agar tumne ye baat dubara kahi to ... " mene kuch nahi kaha bas uske forehead par kiss kar di.

" ab ye kisliye ? " usne gusse ka natak dikhate hue kaha.

" bas tumhe chune ka bahana chahie tha " mere kehte hi uske chehre par smile aa gayi aur hum dono muskura die.

" idiot "

" uhm-hmm "

" vaise ek baat puchun "

" pucho ji "

" i know ki tum us raat mujhse is baat ka jawab chahte the lekin mene nahi dia, to tumne uske baad dubara kyun nahi pucha ? "

" kyun ki mein janta tha ki tumhe jab sahi lagega tum khud bata dogi "

" itni jaldi kaise samajh gaye mujhe tum "

" samjha nahi hun, bas pyar itna ho gaya ki khud samajh jata hun "

" haye ye ladka.. "

" haye ye ladki.. " phir hum dono hans die aur usne mere honton par apne honth rakh kar mere sine mein apna sar chupa liya aur hum dono aise hi ek dusre se lipte hue vahan laite rahe. Insan ko pehli nazar mein samajh lena aur kehna ki mein sab janne laga hun to bahut badi bevkufi hogi, akansha se pehli mulakat ke baad aisa mene kabhi nahi socha tha ki uska dil ek bache ki tarah hoga, hum ek insan ko jitna jante hai utna kam hota hai aur jitna janne utna rishton ko majbur banata hai, shayad vo sahi waqt tha jab mein use ye bata deta ki mera bhi ek past hai is dar ko hata kar ki vo mujhe chhod degi, isliye nahi ki mein use apna rishta aur majbut banana chahta hun balki isliye ki uska hak hai.

Mere andar ka ye dar to khatam ho gaya tha ki mein akansha ko kho dunga kyun ki vhi dar uske andar bhi tha jabki aisa to kabhi nahi ho sakta ki mein use chhod dun to vo bhi mujhe kyun chhodegi ? mujhe is baat par vishwas rakhna tha ki jitna pyar mein use karta hun utna hi vo bhi karti hai aur jab mujhe khud ke pyar par bhrosa hai to uske pyar par na karke bevkufi nahi kar sakta. Mujhe sirf apna hi nahi sochna ab mujhe hamara sochna hai, rishte mein is dar ko bitha kar rakhna ki hum ek dusre ko chhod denge use sirf takleef badegi hi, Akansha ne sahi kaha tha ki dar tab hota hai jab hum kuch chupate hai, isliye mujhe is baat ko khatam karna tha, taki vo dar apne aap nikal jaye, bas sahi waqt ka intezar tha.

" tu ghar se aaj kal bahar jada rehne laga hai kya baat hai ? " mein office se akar kapde badal raha tha tab maa ne toka

" han to office hai .. jana pdta hai.. mana nahi kar sakte "

" bigadta jaa raha hai "

" han koi nahi bigadne do mujhe "

" khana hai ya nahi ? "

" ab jab jaa raha hun to khana kahan se hoga.. late aunga "

" pehle bata dia kar.. mehnat lagti hai aur kitni late ayega "

" pata nahi "

" papa se baat karati hui tere "

" han kara do, har baar papa ki dhamki mat dia karo, bada ho gaya hun mein "

" humse bada nahi hua hai, koi ladki wadki ka chakar hai kya ? " is baat par mene apni maa ko aise ghura jaise use sab pata hota hai.

" jada mat bolo aap.. jao yahan se.. taiyar hone do "

" hath se fisal gaya hai ladka.. koi kadar hi nahi hai maa baap ki " fusfusate hue vo nikal gayi.

Mein taiyar hokar nikal gaya, Akansha ke pas cab karke pahuncha, acha nahi lagta gaddi leni padegi, man mein to aya par paise kahan the jo leta khayal jaldi hi nikal dia . Mein flat ke niche khada uska intezar kar raha tha, aur jab vo utar kar ayi to mein use dekhta reh gaya, vaise to use ab roz dekhne ki adat thi par black colour ke us gown mein vo ek dum delhi ki bhasha mein kahun to katal kar dene wali lag rahi thi ek dum katli.. by god...

" wao... man hi nahi kar raha bahar jane ka bas tumhe lekar baitha rahun aur dekhta hun.. "

" hehehe.. idiot " usne mujhe hug kia aur hum dono dinner ke liye nikal gaye, na jane kis baat ka plan banaya tha usne aaj ka, jo vo dinner par hi batane wali thi.

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 103

" Akash ka call aya tha "

" hmm phir ? " akansha kuch soch mein dub gayi. " koi serious baat hui ? "

" he wants me back " vo meri taraf aur mein uski taraf dekhne laga.

" he said, ki mein jaisa chahti hun vo bilkul vaisa hi ho jayega "

" hmm, phir ? " vo bahut normal thi isliye mein bhi khud ko normal rakhne ki kosish kar raha tha.

" to i said ki i know you love me and i do too " uske itna kehte hi meri sansein hi ruk gayi. Ye surprise dene wali thi akansha mujhe pata hota to zeher ka order deta bc

" but tumse nahi use jo mujhse bina ye kahe pyar karta hai " uski smile aur uski is line mein is kadar khoya ki khud par abhiman hone laga ki dunia ki sabse jada khubsurat ladki mujhse pyar karti hai.

" tumne solid jala dia use matlab " meri college wali bhasha jaisi tone sun kar vo hans di.

" so you told him ki you are seeing me ? " mene hichakte hue pucha.

" yeah.... "

" and ?? "

" ankit don't mind but.. "

" aisa kya keh dia ? "

" ki tumhari wajah se i left him.. and i still loves him not you "

" hmmm " mere itne fike response ki use umeed nahi thi. " he is right "

" what ? " is baar shayad use surprise mila.

" he is right, you left him because of me, but kash vo is baat ko samajh pata ki agar ek ladki kisi ko pyar karne ke baad kisi ke liye chhod de to vo uske sath khush nahi hogi, agar vo ye samajh jata ki vo khush hai uska pyar khush hai, to shayad ye bhi ki why you left him ? its so simple, we are together kyun ki we are the happiness of each other aur jab tak ye feeling mere andar hai akash kya bhagwan bhi kahe ki you love him more than me, i will not believe him either " meri baat sunte hi akansha apni jagah se khadi ho gayi, mujhe samajh nahi aya ki mene aisa kya galat kaha, to mein bhi apni jagah par khada ho gaya. Vo mere thik bagal mein aa khadi hui aur phir muskurate hue mere galle lag gayi.

" thank you... i don't think ... " vo mujhse alag hui, vo kuch kehna chahti thi but kuch keh nahi paa rahi thi, uska chehra ek dum lal ho gaya tha, she is overwhelmed completely... " you deserve more ... " badi mushkil se usne halki awaz mein kaha, mein use samjhata ki ye kehne ki jarurat nahi use pehle pata nahi kaise lekin vo mere liye... i never imagine ki mein aisa kabhi kahunga apne liye vo bhi ki.. Akansha mere liye wahan par ghutno ke bal baith gayi... i mean .. ek second ke liye mere liye vo time bilkul ruk gaya. How she did this ? Restro ke kuch log hamari taraf dekh rahe the aur mein akansha ko aur vo mujhe..

" Mr. Ankit.. will you be mine.. forever.. " uski awaz... kaise itni pyari ho sakti hai, acha bhala tha mein iske pyar ne mujhe itna acha bana dia .. mere uppar ek bhoj aur bada dia, mein ro deta kasam se itna jazbati ladka bana dia is ladki ne ki pucho mat.

" duffer " mein bhi usi ki tarah baith gaya. " i am already yours.. ye lo hath bhi le lo.. " mene uska hath pakad liya aur usne mera, " chehra bhi le lo " mein uske chehre ke najdeek pahunch gaya. " aur dil bhi check ka lo tumhare liye hi dhadak raha hai " kehte hi mein uske galle lag gaya. Jo awaz uski hansi mein thi, vo khushi, vo khushi ka is tarah feel hona ki samaj na ana ki rona kyun aa raha hai sab kuch tha usme.

" why ? " mein use alag hote hue bola.

" because you are my happiness " itna kehte hi uski ankh se ansu aa nikla, ye pehli baar tha jab mene uske ansu to dekhe the par khushi ke the aur is baat ki khushi mujhe thi ki vo meri vajah se khush hai.

" are pagli mein to ye keh raha tha kyun is gown ko pehen kar niche baithi, ganda ho jayega vo "

" hatt.. " mene uski ankho se ansu hataye aur use khada kia aur khud bhi khada ho gaya. Raste bhar hum dono aise aye jinhe kehte hai love birds bilkul vahi style mein aram mein arm, uska sar mere kandhe par, solid ise kehte hai love story mujhe khud par itna fakr ho raha tha ki kya kehna, vo kehte hain na ek na ek din hume vo milta hi hai jo hum chahte hain.. par mene kya aisa kabhi chaha tha ?

Akansha ka flat aa chuka tha, yani use chhod kar jane ka waqt.

" good night.." vo bol kar andar jana chahti thi.

" akansha "

" hmm "

" i'll never forget what you have done for me.. never ever .... that was.. " itna hi keh paya uske baad usne apne honth mere honto par rakh die.

" don't... " usne itna kaha aur ek baar phir apne honth mere honton par rakh die aur is baar hum kuch der tak ek dusre ke honton ko chumte rahe, vo feeling kuch jada hi sar chad gayi thi, kiss karte hue mein aur vo flat ke andar tak aa gaye par tabhi piche akansha kisi chiz se takrai aur hum dono ek dum hosh mein aa gaye. Dono ki sansein tezz chal rahi thi, meri to hawa hi tight ho chuki thi, but i know ki we both lost in that feeling. Pehle to hum ek dusre se nazre churane lage phir ek dusre ki taraf dekh kar hasne lage. Ajeeb hoti hai ye feeling.. samajh nahi ata ki karna kya hai ... Finally usne mujhe hug kia aur mein goodnight keh kar nikal gaya.

Kehte hain na life mein kuch din aise hote hain jo apke liye rememerable hote hain meri life mein kuch ek do din aise rahe hain jaise india ka world cup 2011 bas usi tarah mera ye aaj ka pal tha jo mene akansha ke sath bitaya tha, aur agar mein is memorable day ko sach mein apna hissa banana chahta hun to mujhe ab vo kaam karna hoga jo mene abhi tak nahi kia, shayad yahi sahi waqt hai jiska mujhe intezar tha.

Normal life jab khush rehti hai to roz ka kaam bahut asan ho jata hai uppar se apke sath vo ho jo apki khushi ho tab to yah lagta hai ki aisa hi chalta rahe. Is baar bari meri thi mauka bhi tha, Rahul ka promotion hua tha aur vo delhi aya tha aur isi baat par hum sab party mein ikhata hone wale the....

 

[harshit1890]

Update - 104

" seriously tumhe late ho jayega ? "

" han yar, kya karun end time par kaam aa gaya, tum log enjoy karo mein thodi der mein aa jaunga "

" rahul wants to talk to you "

" salle harami aaj ke din bhi time par nahi aa sakta "

" yar seriously kaam aa gaya, tu bas thodi der de mein ata hun, akansha ko phone de "

" harami sala... "

" hmm "

" akansha please take care .. "

" i will, tum kaam khatam karke aao ok "

" hmm ok bye "

" Ye sala sudhrega nahi kabhi bhi.. " akansha ke baithe hi rahul bola.

" hota hai kabhi kabhi " akansha defence karte hue boli.

" maaf kar dijeye hume hum bhul gaye the ... " rahul ne hath jodte hue kaha to vahan sab hans die. Sabhi ke pas apni apni daru thi, ek taraf music chal raha tha. Sabhi apas mein hansi mazak kar rahe the, badte waqt ke sath daru bhi badti gayi.

" akansha what happen ? tum drink nahi kar rahi mjhe bahut ajeeb lag raha hai " rahul ka nasha kafi badh chuka tha.

" no i am good, actually mein kafi din baad drink li, its ok for me, by the way i guess ankit doesn't like it so i avoid... " akansha ne bade simple lehaze mein jawab dia.

" usko to bahut si chizen pasand nahi... "

" tum uske sath agar isi tarah baat karti hogi to ye bhi pasand nahi ata hoga use hahaha "

" matlab ? "

" aise english mein... bahut galiya deta hai jab use koi ladki aisi english jhadti hai to hahaha " rahul ki baat akansha ko ajeeb lagi par usne ignore karna behtar samjha.

" vaise tum jabse uske sath relation mein ayi ho bahut badal gayi ho, vo akansha jise mein janta tha vo nahi rahi tum.. ankit ne bahut badal dia tumhe ... sala hai hi ek number ka chalu... "

" hey... tum mere samne usi ki burai kar rahe ho .... " akansha ko bura laga par rahul dono ka dost tha isliye usne zahir nahi kia. Isi bich rahul ke doston ne dance ke liye kaha par usne mana kar dia aur baki sab ko bhej dia, ab sirf vo aur akansha reh gaye the.

" burai uski kyun karunga dost hai apna.. mein to tumhe keh raha hun "

" aisa kuch nahi hai, usne kabhi kisi chiz ke liye mujhe aaj tak mana nahi kia "

" sahi mein ? kya baat hai bada hi badal gaya hai sala, kuch aur hi lag raha tha mujhe to "

" tum kya kehna chahte ho "

" bas yahi ki vo itna badal gaya ... "

" kyun tumhe aisa kyun lagta hai vo badal gaya hai ? he is so simple and straight "

" lagne ki kya jarurat hai, harami tha ek number ka aur hota bhi kyun nahi akhir delhi wala jo hai " ab vo ajeeb sa lagne wali feeling akansha ko kuch aur jada ajeeb lagne lagi.

" college time mein ek number ka harami tha ... na jane kitni hi " rahul ne apni drink khatam karte hue hinchai khai, " kitni hi ladkiyun ki bajai hai usne " nashe mein rahul ye bhul gaya ki use kis tarah baat karni chahie.

" what do you mean ? " akansha ko ab kuch galat feel ane lagi.

" girls akansha, he was ..... into them... totally.... pata nahi mujhe to naam bhi yaad nahi bataye the usne... ritika, disha..... aur... aur vo kaun thi.. kya naam tha uska... han... vo uski college teacher ankita... aaah... jis tarah usne bataya tha, us time se aaj tak vo meri imagination mein hai... lucky bastard college teacher ko usne college ke washroom mein hi... seriously us din to mene bhai sahab ke charan chu liye the.... aur tum kehti ho ki vo simple hai hahaha.. "

" tum mazak kar rahe ho i know.. " akansha kuch pal chup rahi sochti rahi uske baad usne apne aap ko ye samjhaya ki aisa ho nahi sakta jaisa usne suna hai.

" hahah, mazak to tum kar rahi ho, aise keh rahi ho jaise you don't know anything, he fucks all of them akansha, ab chupane se kya hoga i know wo tumhara bf hai par isme kya sharmana ... " akansha rahul ki batein sun ke baad samajh nahi paa rahi thi ki kya soche.

" aur ab tum mil gayi use, ek se ek ladkiyan uske pas hi jati hai, sala lucky harami kahin ka haha.. " rahul ne vodka ka glass khali karte hue kaha.

" kaun lucky hai bhai ? " mene us shor mein itna hi suna aur bagal mein aa baitha.

" are mera bhai aa gaya.. " rahul mujhse gale milte hue bola, pura tun tha.

" abhi tere bare mein hi baat ho rahi thi ... "

" mere bare mein, aisi kya baat kar raha tha ... hume bhi to pata chale " mene bas itna hi kaha ki mujhe aisa laga akansha apni jagah se uthi hai. Mene uski taraf dekha to vo bina meri taraf dekhe hi vahan se chal di.

" akansha... " mujhe kuch ajeeb laga, " akansha.. " mene use dubara awaz lagai par usne phir bhi nahi suni. Vo apni jagah se thodi dur gayi aur mene tabhi use rok lia.

" akansha.. kya hua ? " uska chehra puri tarah se tuta hua tha jaise kuch hua ho " kya hua hai? " vo kuch nahi boli aur apne aap ko chuda kar jane lagi. Mujhe ek pal bhi samajh nahi aya ki ye ho kya raha hai ? kya vo mere sath mazak kar rahi hai par aisa mazak ? tabhi mere dimag mein rahul ki baat yaad ayi ' abhi tere bare mein hi baat kar raha tha ' Ye sochte hi mein akansha ki taraf bhaga.

" sorry " bhagte hue mein kisi se takraya par ruka nahi aur bhagta hua disc se bahar nikal gaya.