UPDATE 285
Guru ki story cont -:
jab main 4 ya 5vi baar bhabhi ke sath ashram gayi thi tab guru satyanand ji ne mujko dukhi dekh kar kaha tha – tujko ek bahut bada karya karna hai meri bchchi.. kathnaiyaan sada tere sath rahegi. Per tu wo sab payegi jo tu chahati hai. bus tu kabhi himmat mat harna kiyoki tujko to uski himmat banna hai jiski himmat duniya ka bhavishya tay karegi.”
Guru ji ne tabse hi shiksha dena suru kar diya tha. or ab mene mayajaal bichna sikh liya tha. meri mayajaal ki siddhi puri ho chuki thi. to bus mene usko apne pati per ek bar ajmaya tab mujko aurat hone ka sukh mila. Wo sab mujko itna achcha laga ki mene wo kaam 2-3 bar jaldi jaldi kiya. Fir pata nahi kyu mujko is kaam se ghranda hone lagi. Jab koi apse pyar karta hi nahi to is tarha pyar ke kuch pal pane se kya fayeda. Kiyoki raat me to mayajaal me phas kar wo mere sath bahut pyar se pesh aate or pyar se sab karte bhi per subha hote hi mujko marne lagte ki main unke pass kyu soyi. Raat me mili khushyo per wo pitai bhari hone lagi to fir mene wo sab bhi karna chod diya.
Per 3-4 mahine baad mujko pata chala ki main pet se ho gayi hu. Manshik to bahut pehle ruk gaya tha per kyu ruka ye puchti to kisse?? Jab ek din ek ke ghar me bartan saaf karte huye main chakkar kha kar gir gayi to unhone hi dr. ko bula kar mera chkup kawaya. Tab pata chala ki main maa banne wali hu. Or jab ye baat mene kamal ko batai to wo dukhi ho gaya. Usko dar tha ki kahi bachcha mere jesa badasoorat na ho.
Bitte wakt ke sath main maa ban gayi. Or mene ek ladke ko janam diya wo pura apne baap per gaya tha. karban copy tha wo apne baap ki. Usko dekh kar kamal khush ho gaya or pehli baar mujko pyar se gale laga liya. Soch ki hayad mera bchcha meri kismet badal de. Per nahi aesa kuch nahi hua. Din bitte gaye or wo sab wese hi chalta raha mera kaam karna, har hafte ashram jana, kamal se pitna or apne bête ko apne seene se laga kar rakhna…
Jab mera beta naval 9-10 saal ka hua to usne bhi mujse kanni katni suru kar di or baap me hi gusa rahane laga. Mere andar ki mamta ye dekh kar hamesha roti per main kuch nahi kar sakti thi. wakt ke sath uski bhi adat ho gayi. Is bich hi meri saas ne bhi dum tod diya to ghar ki puri jimmedari mere upper aa gayi.Kabhi kabhi shanti bhabhi milne aa jati to wo bata deti gaon ke haal, mere bhaiyo ki bhi shadi ho chuki thi un dono ke pass 1 beta or 1 beti thi. wo apne pariwar main khush the wo bhul chuke the ki unki koi bahan bhi hai.
Jab mera beta 21 saal ka tha tak mere pati me uski shadi apne ek dost ki beti priti se tay kar di. Main bhi khush thi ki chalo mere beta ka ghar bar raha hai. hum uski shadiyo ki tayari kar rahe the ki ek din shanti bhabhi milne aayi or unhone bataya ki unki beti ko ek beti huyi hai. ye sun kar mujko khushi huyi. Mene bhi unko apne bête ki shadi me aane ka niyota diya. To wo boli shadi me bulana hai to tumko gaon aa kar apne bhaiya se kahna hoga. Main jarur aaugi. To mene bhi haan kar di. Mene soch jab niyota dene gaon jana hi hai to kyu na apne bhaiyo ko bhi niyota de aau. Wese to wo aayege nahi per niyota dena mera farj tha to main gaon ja kar apne dono bhaiyo ko or bhabhi ke ghar me niyota de aayi. Shadi me bhabhi or bhaiya dono aaye or mujko khushi tab huyi jab mera chota bhai apne bête ke sath waha aaya usko dekh kar mujko bahut khushi huyi.
Shadi ke baad din achche bitne lage. Naval ke kahne per mene gharo me kaam karna band kar diya tha. ab hum dono saas bahu ghar me rahate or mera pati kamal or beta naval dyuti per jate. Per main abhi bhi ashara jati thi. meri bahu priti ka nature thik thak hi raha mere sath. Ek din mujko ashram jana tha to meri bahu bhi sath chalne ko bolne lagi. To main usko bhi sath le gayi. Waha meri bahu ne guruji (mani ji) se diksha dene ko kaha to unhone use mana kar diya. Meri bahu dukhi ho gayi or ghar aa kar mujse kahne lagi maaji ap hi mujko kuch sikha do mera bahut man hai ki main bhi kuch tantrik vidya sikhu.
Main bhi apni bahu priti ko mana nahi kar payi or usko mayajaal banna sikha diya. Din ab achche katne lage the. mere bhaiyo or unke ladko ka aana jana bhi hone laga tha. main bahut khush thi ki meri jindgi me bhi khushiyo ke din aa gaye hai. per ye mera bhram hi tha. bête ki shadi ko abhi 7-8 mahine huye the. or priti 3 mahine ke pet se thi tabhi meri jindgi me ek tufan aaya or mera ghar pariwar sab mujse chin gaya.
Dophar ke time Priti apne room me aram kar rahi thi tabhi door per ek sadhu bheek magne ko aaya to mene usko aata diya. Uska pair ghayal tha or usko bahut taklif ho rahi thi ye dekh kar mujse raha nahi gaya to mene usko ghar me bula kar bethya or uske ghav ki patti karne lagi. Patti karte huye usne mujko apni or khich liya or mere honto ko chumne laga pata nai kyu main uska virod na kar saki or kuch hi der me hum dono ke kapde jameen per the. wo muj per chadta usse pehle hi pata nahi kaha se mere pati aa gaye or ye sab dekh kar aag babula ho gaye. Kamal ne us sadhu ko marna suru kiya to wo apne kapde le kar bhag gaya. Per mera sab kuch lut chukka tha. main barbad ho chuki thi. pata nahi main kese bahak gayi or meri ek pal ke bahakne ki saza ye huyi ki mere pati me mujko ghar se bahar nikal diya. Main chaha kar bhi kuch na kaha saki. Mere to hosh hi udhe huye the. ghar ne nikal kar bhi main bahut der tak road per besudi ki halat me ghumti rahi.
Shyam ko meri bhuk ne mujko hosh me laya. Tab mene dekha ki ek sadhi me lipti me ek park ke gate per bethi huyi thi. jab mind me puri ghatna gumne lagi to main rone lagi bahut der ta krone ke baat raat ke andere me bhuk se behal mene charo taraf dekh to waha kuch nahi tha park ke gate per ek guard ko chod kar koi na tha. mene subha se kuch nahi khaya tha main khana khati usse pehle hi wo kamina aa kar meri duniya ujad kar chala gaya tha. abhi koi rasta bhi nahi tha. tab keval ashram ka hi khayal aaya to us guard se rasta puch kar me ashram ki taraf chal padi.
Uske baad to bus guruji ka wo ashram hi mera thikana ho gaya. Raat din sewa or shiksha me nikalne lage. Jab meri shiksha puri ho gayi or mene bahut se mantro ko siddh kar liya to guruji ne mujko duniya me jane ko kaha diya. Ek bar fir main apni manjil ki talash me nikal padi. Per ab mujko duniya ke bich rahna achcha nahi lagta tha to mene shiva nagar ke jungle ko chuna apne rahane ke liye. Jo bhi bhatakta hua rahagir mere pass jungle me aata tomain uski madatkar deti. Wo log mujko ijjat dete. Unki najro me jomeri surat ko dekh kar jo nafrat aati thi wo meri ki gayi madat se ijjat or pyar me badal jati. Dire dire logo ke bich me mera naam hone laga log apni samasyao ko le kar mere pass aane lage. Guruji ne jankalyad ko hi sabse upper bataya tha to main bhi bina kisi lalach logo ka ilaj karne lagi. Unke dukho ko dur karne ke liye muj per jo banta wo karne lagi. Jeevan ka ye hi wo samay tha jab mene logo ke man or aankhon me apne liye nafrat ki jagha pyar or samman mila. Jeevan ke ek bada padav paar karne ke baad shanti bhabhi ki baat sach huye thi. Log ab mere badsurat chehre ko nahi balki mere karmo ko mere man ko dekhte the. Jungle me kuch bhi hone ke baad bhi main ek khush ko pa chuki thi. Per dil me ek tis hamesha thi ki main apne ap ko kabhi aurat hone ka sukh nahi dila payi. Ek maa hone ke baad bhi maa ka sukh nahi mila. Kisi ki patni hone ke baad bhi patni hone ka sukh nahi mila. Main kabhi aurat nahi ban payi. Aurat ho kar bhi ek aurat hone ko tarshi hu main. Aj apko mujko wo sukh dena hai ap hi hai jiski najro me mene pehli bar apne aurat hone ka bhan kiya tha. Apki nazaro me vasna thi mere liye. Fir apke sath rahi apke dil me mene apne liye wo prem or wo ijjat mahsus ki jiske liye main taras rahi thi. Ek to DS maa ka adesh or fir apki najro me basha mere liye pyar, main apne ap ko rok nahi payi or apki patni ban gayi.uske baad to ap jante hi ho…..
Guru ki kahani sunte huye PB ki aakhon se aashu bahane lage. Guru ke dard ne PB ko bhi rone per majbur kar diya tha. guru ki aankhon se to bahut der se aashu baha rahe the. tabhi pata nahi kaha se savita nikal kar aayi or guru se lipat kar rone lagi.
PB – savita tumko kya hua tum kyu ro rahi ho..
Savita – didi apne itna kuch jhela hai. fir bhi ap jinda hai ye bahut badi baat hai. shayad hi bhagwan kisi ko itne dukh dete ho. Puri jindgi sabhi ki nafrat sahane ke baad bhi apne sabko keval pyar or pyar hi diya. Kese didi kese… yadi koi apne aadhi nafrat bhi jhelta hai na didi to wo duniya ko aag lagane ko uttaru ho jata hai apke pass takat hone per bhi apne kisi ka virod nahi kiya. Kabhi kisi ko hani nahi pahuchai keval sabhi se pyar ki aash karti rahi or apko pure jeevan keval nafrat or tirriskar hi mila. Beti ke rup me, bahan ke rup ne, dost ke rup me, patni ke rup me, maa ke rup me.. apko har rup me mila to keval tiriskar or nafrat …
Guru savita ko gale lagte huye – nahi meri bahan nahi… mujko bhi bahut pyar mil hai. mere pankaj ka pyar, meri bahno ka pyar, meri maa ka pyar, meri bhabhi ka pyar… main bhi shayad kuch galat kar bethti yadi shanti bhabhi ne mujko ye na kaha hota ki dil se sundar bano to main bhi kuch or hi ban gayi hoti ek khubsurat dil pane ke liye hi main aesi ban gayi..
PB – sach me guru tumhara dil, tumhari ruh bahut khubsurat hai. aj tak to keval main is guru ki ijjat hi karta tha usko apna margdarshak or ek sachcha sathi manta tha per aj tumhari puja karne ka dil hota hai. yadi log tumhari puja karte the guru to tum sach me puja karne layak bhi ho… guru mujko maaf kar dena shayad main tumko wo khushiya nahi de pau jinki tum hakdar ho. Per main apni puri kosis karuga guru ki meri gurupit ke man ki har murad puri ho…
Guru PB se ja chupi or boli – ye ap kesi baat karte ho. Ap mere pati ho or pati patni ki puja nahi karta ye kaam patni ka hota hai. yadi ap aesa karege to log apko joru ka gulam kahege…
Pb muskurate huye – main tayar hu joru ka gulam banne ko….
Is baat per teeno ke face per smile aa gayi.
Pb – guru tumne ye nahi bataya ki fir tumhari un shanti bhabhi ka kya hua??
Guru – mujko nahi pata PB. Apne bête ki shadi ke baad main kabhi mili hi nahi. Per tum kyu puch rahe ho..
PB – wo meri nani hai guru….
Guru – KYA????? Par kese ??? tum ye kese kaha sakte ho ki wo hi tumhari nani hai??
PB – kiyoki meri nani ka naam bhi shanti hai or wo bhi rajganj me rahati hai. ye baat mujko maa ke documents se pata chali thi. socha tha kabhi jauga apni nanihal ka pata karne per kabhi ja nahi paya. Or aj tumne uske bare main sab kuch bata diya…
Guru – ooohhh matlab tumhari maa alpna hi wo bachchi hai jisko mere khilaya tha. haan or shayad mere bête ki shadi per sonal ka janam hua hoga…. Tumhari maa bhi to tab delhi me hi thi…
PB – duniya kitni gol hai na guru…
Guru – chalo fir chale aj shanti bhabhi, sorry shanti naniji ke pass, dekhe wo mujko or apne nati ko pahchan bhi pati hai ya nahi….
PB – hahahaha tum bhi na guru tumko to ab tumhari maa bhi na pehchan paye meri nani kya chij hai. or mujko to unhone aj tak dekha hi nahi to pehchanegi kese….
