Shanu
Deadman786
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super hot update...............?
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Zaberdast bahot shaandaar update bhaiSAAND
UPDATE-295
Jhadne ke baad mai ragini didi ke upar hi let gaya.....hum dono ki saanse tezi se chal rahi thi...unke bistar ki poori chadar khoon se lal ho gayi thi...
Abhi hame lete huye kuch hi samay hua tha ki tabhi achanak......
Ab Aage…….
Achanak tabhi bahar ka main gate knock hone laga..awaz sun kar ragini didi ghabra gayi kyonki vo iss samay nangi thi aur unse uthna tak nahi ho pa raha tha.
Ragini—lagta hai ki vo budhiya aa gayi..ab kya hoga, kaise gate kholne jaau,..?
Raj—tension mat lo didi, main hu na…aap apne kapde pahno aur ye lo tablet kha lo, isse aapka dard kam ho jayega.. main tab tak gate kholta hu.
Ragini—aaahhh..mujhse to utha bhi nahi ja raha..bahut dard ho raha hai.
Raj—ruko
Maine didi ko god me utha kar bathroom me chhod aaya aur phir bahar aa kar gate khola to samne uski saas kunti aur nanad renu aa kar khadi thi, unke sath ek inspector aur kuch hawaldar bhi the…mujhe dekhte hi renu gusse se meri taraf dekhne lagi.
Renu (tezi se)—yahi hai vo kamina, giraftar kar lo ise inspector..
Inspector—ohh, to ye hai..hawalwar arrest kar lo..
Renu (ghurte huye)—maine tujhse kaha tha na ki mujhse badatmizi tujhe bahut manhgi padegi..ab baki zindgi jail me bitana…ab ye mat puchna ki giraftari ka warrant hai ki nahi, kyon ki vo hum lekar aaye hain .
Inspector ki baat sun kar do hawaldar mujhe hathkadi pahnane ke liye aage badhe to meri awaz sun kar unke kadam vahi thahar gaye.
Raj (chutki bajate huye)—Jaha khade ho, vahi apni jagah par khade raho..(na me ungli hilate huye).. ”Koi Gaandu Gaand Nahi Hilayega.”
Kunti—dekha inspector iski majaal ?
Inspector (gusse me)—teri ye himmat ki hame gali deta hai..
Lekin uske baad jo hua, use dekh kar sabhi stabdh rah gaye…Vo inspector bade hi taav me aage badha aur jaise hi mere paas pahucha vaise hi..
Raj (jor se)—tadaakkkk…madarchod..bahra hai kya ? teri maa ko chodu..tujhe sunayi nahi diya ki maine kya kaha ?
Inspector ko thappad itna jor ka laga ki vo ulta niche dhadam se gir gaya aur uske muh se khoon aane ke sath sath aage ke do daant bhi lawde se mil gaye..aisa kuch ho jayega, iski unme se kisi ne kalpana bhi nahi ki thi.
Renu (shocked)—ye tune kya kiya ? ab to tujhe koi nahi bacha sakta..hawaldar, tum log dekh kya rahe ho, turant arrest kar lo ise..he is a criminal..pata nahi aise log police me kaha se bharti ho jate hain ?
Raj—apne sahab ka haal dekh rahe ho na, isliye aage badhne se pahle dhyan rakhna ki maine kaha kya tha..?
Renu ke baar baar bolne ke bavjud bhi unme se koi bhi aage nahi aaya to ye dekh kar renu aur uski maa ke chehre par thodi shikan nazar aane lagi magar unka ghamand abhi bhi apni jagah par tha. usne commissioner ko call laga diya..aur kuch der baat karne ke baad phone inspector ko pakda diya jo bechara adhamari halat me tha…udhar se comm. Usko pel raha tha aur idhar se inspector ji sir, ji sir kiye ja raha tha.
Inspector—ji sir, aap kuch aur policewale bhej dijiye.
Raj—abe kise phone kar raha hai bhosdi ke ?
Dusri taraf se commissioner ne kuch kaha, uske baad inspector ne darte huye phone mujhe pakda diya..
Inspector—lo baat karo..commissioner sahab ka phone hai..
Renu—haan, karwa do, ye bhi apne baap se jara baat kar hi le i means commissioner sahab se..
Maine ek nazar dono maa beti ki taraf dekha aur phir mushkurate huye phone le kar commissioner se baat karne laga.. tab tak ragini didi bhi kapde pahan kar vahi aa chuki thi.
Raj (phone par)—hello..
Commissioner—koun ho tum ? kis thane me duty hai tumhari ? ek to ladkiyo se badatmizi karte ho upar se ek policewale par hath utha kar tumne theek nahi kiya..tumhare liye behtar yahi hoga ki chupchap apne aap ko surrender kar do warna mujhe majburan tumhe shoot karne ka order dena padega.
Raj—mere khilaf ye warrant tune hi nikala tha ?
Commissioner—haan aur ye is tone me baat kar rahe ho tum ?
Raj—ek baar pahle iss state ke DGP se to baat kar le..phir main surrender kar dunga..
Commissioner (tezi se)—kyon tum koi mantri ya chief minister ho jo tumhare jaise criminal ke liye main dgp se baat karu ? ho koun tum ?
Raj—main koun hu, ye janna chahta hai na ? to bas itna naam hi kafi hai..”SAAND”..yahi bata dena dgp ko….vo tujhe achche se samjha denge mere baare me..
Uske baad call cut ho gaya..thodi der baad inspector ke paas uska phone aaya to usne usko khoob sunaya aur mujhse baat karwane ko kaha.
Inspector—sorry sir, mujhe maaf kar dijiye..mujhse bahut badi galti ho gayi…mujhe aapke baare me pata nahi tha..i’m sorry sir.
Dono maa beti hairan pareshan ho kar kabhi mujhe to kabhi inspector ko dekh rahi thi..unki samajh me kuch aa hi nahi raha tha ki ye ho kya raha hai ? khair maine phone le kar uska loudspeaker on kar diya aur commissioner se baat ki..mere kuch bolne se pahle hi vo gidgidane laga.
Commissioner—I’m sorry avinash rathore ji…mujhe ye malum nahi tha ki complain aapke baare me hai warna main warrant issue hi nahi karta..maine warrant cancle karne ke sath hi inspector ko vapis aane ko bol diya hai..I’m really sorry.
Commissioner ko mafi mangte sun kar dono maa beti hairan rah gayi…dono badi hi hairani se ankhe phad kar mujhe dekhne lagi jaise ki koi saanp dekh liya ho…ye baat alag hai ki unke samne saanp to nahi par saand jarur tha.
Raj—It’s ok commissioner sahab..lekin ek baar aap in vakil sahiba aur iski bakchodi maa ko itna jarur samjha dijiye ki agar aaj ke baad inhone ya inke ghar ke kisi bhi member ne meri bahan se kisi tarah ki ghatiya harkat to door oonchi awaz me baat tak na kare to warna main inn dono maa beti ki bur ka aisa bhosda banaunga ki inka phata hua bhosda dekh kar insaan to kya, kutta, billi bhi door bhag jayegenge.
Commissioner—aap renu ko phone dijiye. Main samjha deta hu..
Raj (phone, renu ko dete huye)—ye le bhosdi..kar baat..
Renu (hairan)—ji sir…
Commissioner (tez)—renu ji, aapne report likhane se pahle ye janna jaruri nahi samjha ki aap kiske khilaf report likha rahi hain ?
Renu—sir, achanak aapko ye kya ho gaya ? aapne use aise chhod kaise diya jabki vo mere aur meri
maa ke baare me kya bol raha tha, ye aapne khud suna hai..agar aap dar gaye hain iss criminal se to main court se order le aaungi.
Commissioner—court bhi unke khilaf nahi jayega..kyonki unke khilaf kisi bhi tarah ka action lene ka power sirf supreme court ko hai..agar tum apni bhalayi chahti ho to turant unse mafi maang lo warna apni barbadi ki jimmedar tum khud hogi.
Phir commissioner ne mere baare me use achchi tarah se bataya jise sun kar dono maa beti ki gaand se hawa nikalne lagi aur vo darr aur tension se ghabrane lagi.
Kunti (tension)—hame maaf kar do..anjane me galti ho gayi..
Renu—mujhe bhi..sorry
Raj—theek hai maaf kiya lekin kisi ne meri bahan se galat tone me baat ki to baki main kya karunga, ye sun hi chuki ho..
Dono—hum vada karte hain..
Raj—theek hai..chal ja mere liye coffee bana ke laa..
Renu—bhabhi, coffee le aaiye..
Raj—maine tujhse kaha hai, samjhi..
Renu—koun main ?
Raj—nahi to kya tera baap ayega banane..?
Renu (sakpaka kar)—lekin..mujhe banani nahi aati..
Raj (jor se doodh pakad kar)—bhosdi, free fokat ka kha kha kar itne bade bade doodh aur chutad ho gaye hain aur coffee banani nahi aati…nahi aati to aaj se banana chalu kar warna..
Kunti (darte huye)—beta, use chhod do..main bana deti hu..
Raj—theek hai, tu hi bana..main tab tak iske doodh hi daba leta hu..bahut bade bade ho gaye hain..
Renu—aaaahhhhh…chhodd..dijiye..dard hota hai..aaahhh..main banaungi..aaahhhh
Uske baad maine do teen baar kas kas ke uske doodh masal diye aur chhod diya…vo dono maa beti tezi se kitchen ki taraf bhagi ..renu to apne doodh sahlate huye gayi..main didi se baat karne laga..thodi der me uski saas coffee le kar aa gayi.. vo palat kar vapis jane lagi to maine use rok diya.
Raj—hmmm, achchi bani hai..kaha ja rahi hai, chal baith yaha ..vaise teri gaand bhi bahut badi ho gayi hai..kitno ka lund dalwaya hai gaand me ?
Kunti (niche dekhte huye)—beta aisi baate mat karo..main to tumhari maa jaisi hu..
Raj—meri bahan ke sath ek maa jaisa saluk kiya hai kabhi jo mujhse ummid kar rahi hai ?
Kunti—ab se dhyan rakhungi ..
Raj—suna hai ki tu apne bete ki dusri shadi karne wali hai ?
Kunti—majburi hai…agar nahi karungi to hamara khandan kaise chalega..aapki bahan to maa ban nahi sakti, isliye..
Raj (gusse se)—kisne kaha ki meri bahan maa nahi ban sakti ? namard tera beta hai aur dos meri bahan par ? vo jarur maa banegi..
Kunti—lekin kaise ?
Raj—main banaunga apni bahan ko maa..
Kunti (shocked)—kyaaaaa ?
Raj—tumne theek suna…meri bahan, apne iss chote bhai ke bachche ki maa banegi..
Kunti (shocked)—ye kaise ho sakta hai ? ye to paap hai..
Raj—tujhe khandan ka varis hi chahiye na ? to main de raha hu..isme dikkat kya hai ? ya phir tere bete ki namardangi ke baare me poori duniya ko bata du ?
Kunti—nahi..nhi..aisa mat karna..warna mere ghar ki bahut badnami hogi…sharam se hum sabko aatma hatya karni padegi..
Raj—tabhi to main tumhare khandan ki izzat bachana chahta hu..apni bahan ko maa bana kar..bol manzur hai ? ya phir batau sab ko tere bete ke baare me ?
Kunti—nhi..nahi..aisa mat karna..main tumhare aage hath jodti hu…tum jaisa kahoge, mujhe manzur hai..
Raj—good
Kunti—lekin duniya wale kya kahenge ?
Raj—isiliye ye baat sirf hamare beech hi rahegi..
Kunti—theek hai..mujhe manzur hai..main apne bete ko mana lungi.
Ragini didi jo ki meri baat se hairan ho kar mujhe dekh rahi thi ab tak, apni saas ki baat sun kar unke chehre par mushkurahat aa gayi.
Raj—achcha ye bata ki “Seth Sethaain Baarah Jodi, Seth Ka Kurta Lamba…Upar Se Sethaain Moote, Seth Kahe Har Ganga”
‘’सेठ सेठाइन बारह जोड़ी, सेठ का कुर्ता लम्बा ----ऊपर से सेठाइन मूतै, सेठ कहे हर गंगा’’ iss paheli ka kya matlab hona chahiye ?
Kunti—mujhe nahi malum
Raj—nahi pata to dusri paheli “Agal Bagal Chaara , Beech Mein Indaara ”
“अगल बगल चारा(घास) , बीच में इंदारा (बड़ा कुआं)” iska to malum hi hoga ?
Kunti—nahi
Raj—ye bhi nahi pata..koi baat nahi…chal ye bata ki tere sasur ne yaha shift hone se pahle jo ghar kharida tha, vo kaha par hai ? ab mat kahna ki nahi malum, warna..
Kunti—uss manhoos jagah ko to kab ka hamne bech diya ..
Raj (chounk kar)—bech diya ? kise bech diya ?
Kunti—vo aaj se****saal pahle hamne vo ghar ******* ko bech diya tha..
Raj (shocked)—whattttt ? ye…ye kaise mumkin hai ? ye impossible hai…ye nahi ho sakta..
Kunti—main sach kah rahi hu…hamne isi naam ke admi ko becha tha…vo bhi bahut saste daam par..
Kunti ne jis shakhs ka naam liya, use sun kar main hairan rah gaya..mujhe to jaise apne kaano par vishwash hi nahi ho raha tha ki kya ye sach ho sakta hai ? phir na jane kya soch kar mere chehre par vijyi mushkan ubhar aayi, aise jaise ki maine lagbhag haari huyi bahut badi jung jeet li ho.
Zaberdast shaandaar mazedaar lajawab update bhaiSAANDKunti ne jis shakhs ka naam liya, use sun kar main hairan rah gaya..mujhe to jaise apne kaano par vishwash hi nahi ho raha tha ki kya ye sach ho sakta hai ? phir na jane kya soch kar mere chehre par vijyi mushkan ubhar aayi, aise jaise ki maine lagbhag haari huyi bahut badi jung jeet li ho.
UPDATE-296
Ab Aage……
Uske baad main ragini didi ko kuch din abhi vahi par rukne ko bol kar uski sasural se nikal gaya…DGP ko bol kar maine apne liye dusri gadi manga li thi..raste me mere mobile par kisi ka call aaya jo ki prem pujari ka tha isliye maine pick kar liya aur usko vahi par aane ko kaha jaha par maine sadhana (sheetal) ke sath vo ghatna hote dekhi thi.
Main jab uss ghatna wali jagah par pahucha to mujhe vaha par apni chodu team ke member prem pujari aur sorbobhuk pahle se hi khade huye dikhayi diye.
Raj—kisi ka phone kyon nahi lag raha tha ? kaha hain baki sab ?
Sorbobhuk—yaar, kisi ka kuch pata nahi chal raha aur na hi phone lag raha hai..mujhe to lagta hai ki kahi vo sab black star ke bichhaye kisi jaal me ulajh kar kisi musibat me na phans gaye ho ?
Raj—kya matlab ?
Sorbobhuk—amilpur se nikalne wali chodu gang se bhi contact nahi ho raha hai..sirf rajasthan me jab vo enter huye the tab baat huyi thi uske baad se unka phone bhi band aa raha hai.
Raj—agar aisa kuch ho gaya to sab gadbad ho jayega…
Sorbobhuk—amtul, siraj, iron man, jitu ye sabhi tumhare piche hi amilpur se nikal aaye the magar kisi ka pata nahi chal raha..aur tum kaha chale gaye the ?
Prem—sheetal didi theek to hain na bhai ? vo tumhe mili kya ?
Sorbobhuk—haan, yaar hame bahut tension ho rahi hai. Batao na sheetal didi theek to hain na ? hum kabse tumhe dhoond rahe hain..
Didi ka naam sunte hi meri ankho ke samne vahi drishya ubhar aaya jisse mere seene me asahneey dard umadne laga aur ankho me nami utar aayi.
Prem—raj, kya hua bata na ? kya hua didi ko ?
Sorbobhuk—haan bhai, bata na, sab theek to hai na ? kuch to bol..
Raj (nam ankhe)—kuch bhi theek nahi hai yaar
Dono—kya matlab ?
Phir maine unko sab bataya jo kuch maine dekha tha aur jo kuch hua tha mere sath…vo sab batate huye meri ankho se lagatar anshuo ki ladi bahe ja rahi thi.
Prem—kyaaa? Tab to hame jaldi se jaldi didi ko talash karna chahiye isse pahle ki vo harami abhay apne napak iraado me kamyab ho jaye.
Raj—didi abhay ke kabze me nahi hain.
Sorbobhuk—ye tum kaise kah sakte ho jabki raghuhalkal ne to clear bataya tha na ? usse dubara baat huyi kya ?
Raj—nahi, uska phone bhi nahi lag raha...ho sakta hai ki black star ne usko pehchan liya ho ?
Prem—tab to hame yaha time barbad karne ki bajaye turant pahle didi ko talash karna chahiye...kidhar le gaye honge didi ko vo log ?
Raj—abhi hum uss (kunti ke bataye ghar) jagah jayenge jiska uss wasiyat aur inn paheliyo se kuch na kuch sambandh jarur hai.
Prem (thoda gusse se)—ye kya bakwas kar rahe ho raj ? yaha sheetal didi musibat me hain aur tumhe aise samay me wasiyat ki padi huyi hai ? mujhe yakin nahi ho raha hai ki jo sheetal didi ki ankho me anshu ki ek boond nahi dekh pata tha, vahi raj unhe iss halat me chhod kar paise ke piche bhag raha hai ? tum aisa soch bhi kaise sakte ho ? didi itne din se lapata hain aur tum yaha vaha bur chodte phir rahe ho…mujhe to lagta hai ki tum hamare vo dost raj ho hi nahi jise hum jante the warna didi ki halat sun kar vo ab tak taandav macha chuka hota.
Sorbobhuk—prem sahi kah raha hai raj..main iss samay wasiyat ke piche jane ke paksh me nahi hu balki hame didi ko bachana chahiye warna anarth ho jayega..black star aur abhay dono apne maqsad me kamyab ho jayenge…agar sheetal hi nahi rahi to wasiyat mil bhi gayi to kis kaam ki ?
Raj (nam ankhe)—tum dono ko kya lagta hai ki jiski ankh me main anshu tak nahi dekh pata tha, usko iss halat me dekh kar mujhe koi khushi ho rahi hogi ? arrey, main sabke samne hasta hu, bolta hu, ye sab bas dikhawa hai mere dost kyonki meri sab bahan mere hi bharose par hain, mere liye unhone bahut dukh sahe hain, agar main hi himmat haar kar toot gaya to vah sabhi samay se pahle hi jeete ji mar jayengi.
Prem—to kya sheetal didi ko yu hi marne ke liye chhod doge ?
Sorbobhuk—mana ki baki sabne bhi dukh sahe hain lekin un sabki tulna sheetal didi se to nahi ho sakti na ? kya iss samay tumhara farz sheetal didi ko pahle bachana nahi hai jo tum abhi bhi wasiyat ke chakkar me pade ho ?
Raj (bhigi palke)—tumhe kya lagta hai ki sheetal didi ko dhoondne jaoge to bacha loge ? nahi mere dost, hum sirf parchhayi ke peechhe daudte rah jayenge, hath kuch nahi ayega…didi ko uss haal me dekh kar mere dil par kya beet rahi hai, ye main bata nahi paunga…lekin didi ko bachane ke liye wasiyat tak pahuchna bahut jaruri hai, uske bina hum kuch nahi kar payenge.
Prem (gusse me)—aur tab tak vo abhay unke jism ko noch noch kar khata rahega ? yahi chahte ho tum ?
Raj (tezi se)—aisa hone se pahle main upar ja kar uss madarchod ki maa chod dalunga.. didi ki ankho se gire anshu ke ek ek boond ki saugandh, main black star aur abhay ka vo haal karunga ki khud mout bhi aisi bhayanak mout dekh kar kaamp uthegi.
Sorbobhuk—agar aisa hai to phir tum akhir karna kya chahte ho ? na tum didi ko bachane jana chahte ? na hi abhay ko thikane lagane de rahe ho ? meri to kuch samajh me nahi aa raha hai.
Raj (ankho me anshu)—didi, abhay ke kabze me nahi hain..
Prem—ye tum kaise kah sakte ho ? jabki raghuhalkal ne saaf saaf to bataya tha ki black star aaj unhe abhay ke hawale karne wala hai ?
Raj—kyonki blck star aisi galti kabhi nahi karega..maine usko 13 din ka altimatum diya tha, aur vo ye baat achchi tarah se janta hai ki wasiyat use dhoond kar sirf main hi de sakta hu, agar didi ko koi nuksan hua to use isse hamesha ke liye hath dhona pad jayega..vaise bhi usne 13 din tak didi ko koi nuksan na pahuchane ka vada kiya tha…aise me vo didi ko abhay ke hawale kabhi nahi karega…aur abhi to aaj 10th din hi hai, abhi bhi teen din baki hain.
Sorbobhuk—aur tumne uss harami ki baat par yakin kar liya ? iski vajah ?
Raj—shayad tumne abhi black star ko samjha nahi hai..lekin jaha tak maine jana hai ki usme bahut burayi hain, bahut khatarnak hai, inn sabke bavjud usme ek khoobi bhi hai aur vo ye hai ki black star, apne vaade ka bahut pakka hai… dusri vajah ye bhi hai ki uska maqsad didi nahi balki wasiyat hasil karna hai aur vo aisa kar ke apne pair me kulhadi nahi maarega kyonki vo itna to jaan hi chuka hai ki ye saand bhi apne vaade ka pakka hai…isliye main janta hu ki 13 din tak didi ki izzat me vo aanch nahi aane dega.
Prem—chalo agar tumhari baat maan bhi le to aage ka kya socha hai tumne ? hamare chodu sathiyo ke sath kya kiya black star ne, aur unhe kaha le gaya, hum to ye bhi nahi jante ? aisi halat me hum black star ka muqabla kaise karenge ? jiske baare me hame kuch nahi malum..phir didi ko kaise bachayenge uske changul se ?
Raj—kal tak use koi nahi janta tha lekin ab vo mere liye anjan nahi hai…black star koun hai, uska agla plan kya hoga ? ye sab ka kuch kuch andaza to ho gaya hai..do din aur jee lene do usko..aaj se teesra din uski mout ke sath sath uski 13vi ka bhi hoga.
Dono (chounk kar)—kyaa ? tum jaan gaye ki koun hai ?
Raj—abhi confirm nahi hu..
Sorbobhuk—akhir koun hai ye madarchod black star ?
Raj—vahi to confirm karne ja raha hu…koi bhi black star ho sakta hai, tum dono me se bhi ho sakta hai..ya phir ye bhi ho sakta hai ki ..Main hi Black Star hu..
Prem—ufff..aage ka plan kya hai ? kya hum chodu gang ko talash kare ?
Raj—nahi, itna time nahi hai hamare paas..abhi uss ghar ko dekhna hai..
Uske baad hum teeno ragini didi ki saas ki batayi jagah ki taraf chal pade…abhi hum kuch door hi gaye the ki tabhi kahi se ek tez dhamake ki awaz sunayi padi..jise sun kar hamara dhyan bhi barbas hi uss taraf chala gaya..kuch aur aage jane par tabhi na jane kaha se ek admi aa kar hamari gadi se takra kar niche gir pada…hamne utar ke dekha to chounk gaye kyon ki ye Iron man tha jo kafi ghayal avastha me tha.
Prem—ye to iron man hai..kya hua ise ? lagta hai ki ye bohosh ho gaya hai..?
Sorbobhuk ne jaldi se gadi me se pani ki bottle nikal kar uske chehre par pani chhidka to tab ja kar use hosh aaya..hosh me aate hi vo ghabra kar uth baitha.
Iron man (ghabra kar)—kkk…koun hai ? paas aaye to bhosdi ke…gaand me bomb laga ke uda dunga..
Raj—iron man kya hua ? aur tum yaha aur iss haal me kaise ?
Iron man (dard me)—aaahhhh…raaajjjj…tummm..theek to ho na..?
Raj—haan, main theek hu..lekin tum ?
Iron man—hum sab tumhara picha karte huye aa rahe the ki tabhi raste me kuch log sheetal didi ko jabran ghasit kar le jate dekha to hamne tumhara picha karna chhod kar unse bhid gaye lekin vo madarchod, bata nahi kis mitti ke bane the, hamari maar ka unpar koi asar hi nahi hua…ulta sabne peet peet kar hamari gaand lal kar di..aur uske baad hame adhmara aur behosh kar ke hum sabko alag alag disha me gadi ke piche baandh kar ghisitte huye na jane kis ko kaha le gaye…mujhe jab hosh aaya to khud ko iss jungle me ek ped se bandha hua paya..badi mushkil se unn madarchodo ki gaand me bomb phod kar vaha se bhaga hu…aaaahhhh….bahut mara madarchodo ne…aaaahhhh..haddi pasli tod dali..aaaahh
Prem—iska matlab ki hamara andaza sahi nikla, chodu gang iss samay black star ke kabze me hai..
Raj—uski black army ke..
Iron man—lekin tumhare sir me ye patti kyon bandhi hai ? kya tum bhi pele gaye ? vo saale mera picha karte aate hi honge..chalo jaldi yaha se... Warna Hum To Pele Hi Gaye...Tum Sab Bhi Pele Jaoge… aaahhh
Raj—Saand Ko Kabhi Koi Nahi Pelta, Kabhi Suna Hai Ki Kisi Ne Saand Ko Pela Ho ?…Lekin Saand Sabki Pelta Hai.
Uske baad iron man ko bhi sath lekar hum aage badh chale..raste me maine use bhi vahi sab bataya jo prem aur sorbobhuk ko bataya tha.
Prem—lekin yaar ek baat samajh nahi aayi ki jab tum behosh ho gaye the tab tumhare sir me patti kisne baandhi ? aur phir tumhe vahi road par hi chhod kar chala gaya..aisa kyon ?
Raj—ye baat to meri bhi samajh me nahi aayi yaar.
Aise hi baate karte huye hum akhir uss jagah par pahuch hi gaye..lekin vaha to har taraf ghani jhadiyo ke alawa kuch bhi dikhayi nahi pad raha tha…bade bade jungli ped charo taraf phaile huye the.
Prem—yaar, yaha to kuch bhi nahi hai..
Sorbobhuk—haan bhai..ye to jungle hai..yaha ghar kaha ho sakta hai ? jarur usne tumhe ullu bana diya..
Raj—nahi, hona to yahi chahiye..chalo aage chal kar dekhte hain..lekin hoshiyar rahna..koi khatra bhi ho sakta hai vaha..
Hum jhadiyo ko raste se hatate huye aage badhne ka rasta banate banate chalte gaye…aise hi chalte chalte thodi doori par kuch khandahar jaisa kuch nazar aaya.
Iron man—lagta hai ki vahi hoga..
Raj—hmmm..chalo dekhte hain..
Hamne tezi se kadam badhate huye akhir uss toote phute ghar tak ka rasta tay kar hi liya..lekin vaha pahuch kar jaise hi hamne uss khandahar me ghusne ke liye apne kadam aage badhaye ki tabhi achanak…
Bahot zaberdast shaandaar lajawab update bhaiSAANDHum jhadiyo ko raste se hatate huye aage badhne ka rasta banate banate chalte gaye…aise hi chalte chalte thodi doori par kuch khandahar jaisa kuch nazar aaya.
UPDATE-297
Iron man—lagta hai ki vahi hoga..
Raj—hmmm..chalo dekhte hain..
Hamne tezi se kadam badhate huye akhir uss toote phute ghar tak ka rasta tay kar hi liya..lekin vaha pahuch kar jaise hi hamne uss khandahar me ghusne ke liye apne kadam aage badhaye ki tabhi achanak…
Ab aage…….
Meri nazar uss lagbhag dharashayi ho chuke khandhar par padi to main kuch pal ke liye chounk kar rah gaya…uski banawat hi kuch iss tarah ki thi ki mera use dekh kar chounkna swabhavik hi tha…uss ghar ke ya phir sahi shabdo me use ghar ki bajaye aalishan mahal kahna hi adhik upyukt hoga kyonki vah kafi bade bhu-bhag par bana hua tha jiski teen taraf ki deeware aadhi gir chuki thi…vah ghar ya mahal paanch kono ki sanrachna se banaya gaya tha.
Raj (hairan, mann me)—ye ghar paanch kono wala kyon hai ? ise aisa banane ke piche kya vajah ho sakti hai ?
Prem—raj kya soch me pad gaye ? andar chalna hai ya phir vapis lout chale ?
Iron—iss khandahar me aane ka kya matlab hai yaar ? yaha andar pata saanp ya bichchoo bhi ho sakte hain, black army se to kisi taraf bach ke aa gaya lekin agar inhone ek baar kaat liya to bachna mushkil hai.
Raj—pata nahi yaar bas mann me iss ghar ko dekhne ki ichcha huyi to chala aaya..ab jab yaha tak aa hi gaye hain to ek baar andar chal ke bhitar ka nazara bhi dekh hi lete hain.
Sorbobhuk—theek hai chalo phir lekin savdhan rahna kya pata andar kaisa khatra ho..
Raj—hmmm..chalo..
Hum savdhani se beech me jagah jagah lage huye jaalo ko hatate huye andar aa gaye…lekin vaha malbe ke atirikt kuch bhi nazar nahi aa raha tha ..haan, itna jarur tha ki ghar double manzil ka bana hua tha…dono hi manzil ke kuch avshesh ab bhi shesh the, chhat jarur gir gayi thi.
Upar wali manzil par six room ke sath ladies bathroom tha aur uske hi niche ground floor par gents bathroom aur itne hi kamre bane huye the…hamne vaha kuch der tak ghum phir kar dekha kintu kuch bhi hairatangej baat nazar me nahi aayi to hum vaha se vapis lout aaye.
Sorbobhuk—main pahle hi kahta tha ki yaha aana bevkoofi hai..hame sheetal didi ke sath sath ab chodu gang ko bhi talash karna hai aur samay bahut kam hai hamare paas.
Iron—mere khyal se hame ab planning kar ke sheetal didi aur chodu gang ko khojna chahiye, aisa karne se hum charo me se kisi na kisi ko to kamyabi mil hi jayegi…warna ek hi disha me bhatakte rahenge aur vaha vo black star apne manshubo me safal ho jayega.
Raj—nahi yaar, alag alag jane me risk hai.
Iron—hamare paas dusra koi chaara bhi to nahi hai..ya phir tumhare paas koi plan ho to batao..
Raj—prem bhai, tum abhay aur uski haweli par nazar rakho…sorbobhuk aur iron man tum dono chodu gang ko talash karne ke sath sath unse contact karne ki koshish karo aur main sheetal didi ki khoj karta hu.
Teeno—ok
Raj—aur haan, apne phone on rakhna..
Iske baad plan final hote hi sab apne apne kaam me bataye anusar lag gaye..prem, abhay ki haweli ki taraf chala gaya.. baki dono chodu gang ki talash me nikal gaye aur main apne kaam me lag gaya lekin mera mann behad ashant ho raha tha.. nirasha mere upar havi ho rahi thi.
Mere paas sirf teen din ka samay bacha tha aur ab tak main apni talash me jaha se chala tha, apne aap ko vahi khada pa raha tha, black star ki koi pahchan mere paas nahi thi aise me do din baad use khatam karna bahut kathin kaam lagne laga tha.
Raj (mann me)—mujhe lag raha tha ki unn paheliyo ka kuch na kuch sambandh jarur hona chahiye uss ghar se lekin uss ghar me to kuch nahi mila, jaisa mujhe laga tha..ab kya karu, kaise apni manzil tak pahuchu ? mere paas aaj ko chhod kar do hi din ka time hai aur ab tak black star ya phir wasiyat ke baare me meri jankari lund bate paratha hi hai…ragini didi ki bhosdi saas ne jis shakhs ka naam liya tha, vo sun kar mujhe poora yakin tha ki yaha kuch to jarur milega jiska mere maqsad se bahut gahra sambandh hai lekin vaha jane ke baad khali lawda hilate vapis aana pada..agar do din me maine wasiyat ko khoj kar uss madarchod ke hawale nahi kiya to meri sadhana nahi bachegi aur vo madarchod phir na jane kya karega sadhana ke sath..
Raj (ghabra kar)—nahii..nahi..main apni sadhana ko kuch nahi hone dunga..mujhe har haal me unhe bachana hoga..chahe isme meri jaan hi kyon na chali jaye..haan, mujhe bachana hi hoga…lekin kaise ? koi surag bhi to hath nahi lag raha ? kab tak andhere me bhatakta rahunga ? ab kaha se talash shuru karu ? (kuch soch kar) kyon na iss ghar ke baare me pata lagau, shayad kuch nayi jankari mil jaye ? dusra koi rasta bhi samajh me nahi aa raha hai, ab risk lena hi padega mujhe.aap chinta mat karna didi, main har haal me aapko bachaunga, agar aisa nahi kar paya to meri jaan jana bhi nishchit hai.
Mann hi mann kuch soch kar main uss ghar se nazdik ke ilako me ja ja kar uss ghar ke baare me puchtach karne laga, lekin ek to ye ghar bahut purana tha dusra new generation ko iske baare me malum nahi tha aur teesra, ye bhag main abadi ke hatkar tha isliye koi bhi iss ghar ke baare me kuch thos jankari de pane me asmarth the.
Raj (tension se mann me)—sale sab ke sab madarchod hain…inki maa ko chodu kisi ko kuch malum hi nahi hai uss ghar ke baare me…pardada ji tumhari maa ka bhosda..itni paheliya likh kar meri upar ja kar gaand marwa raha hai bhosdike aur yaha main chutiya bana ghum raha hu…lagta hai ki tu apni wasiyat bhi gaand me daal ke le gaya hoga ? ab kya karu, kaha jaau, kisse puchu ? …kyon na golu madari se pata karu ? ho sakata hai ki shayad use kuch malum ho ? akhir vo har jagah ghumta phirta rahta tha..(kuch yaad aate hi)..lekin vo madarchod bhi to ghar se bahut samay se gayab tha..kya pata vapis louta hoga ya nahi ? phir bhi ja kar ek baar dekhne me kya harz hai..ho sakta hai ki vapis aa gaya ho ?
Phir mann me golu madari se hi milne ka faisla kar ke main uske gaon ki taraf chal pada lekin vaha pahuch kar bhi mere hath nirasha hi aayi kyonki abhi bhi uske ghar me taala latka hua mila..phir kuch vichar kar ke main ussi budhiya ke yaha chala gaya jisne mujhe golu madari aur naina ke gayab hone ke vishay me bataya tha…Mujhe dekhte hi vo behad khush huyi.
Raj—maayi, naina aur baba vapis aaye ki nahi ? unke ghar me abhi tak taala laga hua hai ?
Budhiya—kaha aaye beta..na jane dono baap beti kaha chale gaye..? jab se gaye hain tab se unka koi ata pata nahi hai.
Raj—(mann me)..kyon na isse hi puch kar dekha jaye, shayad kuch pata ho ?
Budhiya—tum baitho beta, main tumhare liye kuch khane pine ko lati hu.
Raj—nahi..nahi maayi..mujhe abhi bhukh nahi hai..achcha maayi..ek baat puchni thi aapse..
Budhiya—haan, pucho beta..tumhe to maine bachpan se apni god me khilaya hai..mujhse kuch puchne ke liye tumhe aagya lene ki jarurat nahi hai beta..pucho..
Phir maine usse vahi ghar ke baare me pucha lekin usne jo bataya vo mere liye kafi hairan karne wala tha..
Budhiya—mujhe jyada kuch to pata nahi hai lekin maine apni saas aur ek baar golu madari ke muh se ye baat jarur suni thi ki vo mahal numa bada ghar rajasthan ke ek bahut bade admi ne banwaya tha..poore rajasthan me unhe seth ji ke naam se jana jata tha…unke 12 ladke the aur unki 12 biwiya sabhi ek sath sanyukt pariwar me rahte the..unke bade bete (pardada) ko chhod kar baki sabhi nikamme aur aiyyash the, isliye unhone marte samay apni poori jaydad apne bade bete (pardada) ke naam kar gaye..unke marne ke kuch samay baad se hi baki bhai jaydad par apna kabza jamane ke liye kshadyantra rachne lage..lekin phir na jane kya hua ki vo sab ek ek kar ke uss ghar se achanak hi gayab ho kar kaha chale gaye ? bas mujhe isse jyada nahi malum..
Raj (shocked)—kyaaaa..12 ladke the aur unki 12 biwiya ?
Budhiya—haan, har ladke ki ek biwi..lekin tum ye sab kyon puch rahe ho ? golu bhi jab dekho uss ghar ke baare me meri saas se puchta rahta tha.
Raj—bas aise hi…lekin aapki saas ko ye sab kaise malum tha ?
Budhiya—kyon meri saas ki saas uss ghar me naukrani ka kaam karti thi isliye thoda bahut meri saas ko unki saas ne bataya hoga aur meri saas ne mujhe.
Raj—ohhh ..(mann me)..kahi uss paheli ka sambandh inn 12 ladko aur unki 12 biwiyo se to nahi hai ? kya thi paheli..? haan, yaad aaya..
“Seth Sethaain Baarah Jodi, Seth Ka Kurta Lamba…Upar Se Sethaain Moote, Seth Kahe Har Ganga”
‘’सेठ सेठाइन बारह जोड़ी, सेठ का कुर्ता लम्बा ----ऊपर से सेठाइन मूतै, सेठ कहे हर गंगा”
Uske baad main thodi der aur idhar udhar ki baate karne ke baad main vaha se rawana ho gaya phir se uss ghar me jane ke liye..pahuchte pahuchte ab tak sham ka andhera ho chala tha..maine mobile ki torch on kar ke uss ghar me phir se ek nayi ummid ke sath ghus gaya.
Raj (mann me)—agar iss paheli ka sambandh iss ghar se hai to iska (paheli ka) matlab kya hai ? seth, sethaain 12 jodi ka matlab to samajh aa gaya lekin seth ka kurta lamba aur upar se sethaain moote, seth kahe har ganga..iska kya arth hua ? kya pardada madarchod, lamba kurta pahanta tha ?..iski maa ko chodu, inn paheliyo ne to mood ki gaand maar ke rakh di hai.
Main mobile torch ki roshni me vaha toote phute har kamre me ghum ghum kar dekhne laga magar kuch bhi aisa nazar nahi aa raha tha jisse ki mujhe koi aage ka rasta samajh me aaye..kintu tabhi mere dimag ki batti thoda jali..
Raj (achanak hi)—ek minute..ek minute…seth ka kurta lamba se kahi matlab bade kamre se to nahi hai, jo shayad pardada ka raha ho ? aur ‘Upar se sethaain moote, seth kahe har ganga’ iska matlab bathroom se ho ? kyonki ladies bathroom upar hai aur gents ka niche..to saaf jahir hai ki ladies upar wale bathroom ko hi mootne ke liye use karti rahi hogi aur gents niche ka nahane aur mootne ke liye use karte honge ?..haan, yahi raha hoga..lekin phir bhi paheli ka pardadi ke upar se mootne aur pardada ke niche nahane se kya sambandh ho sakta hai ? jo bhi ho par kuch to jarur hai..chalo pahle bathroom hi dekh liya jaye..
Main bari bari se dono bathroom dekhne laga magar kuch samajh nahi aaya to bahar aa kar room check karne laga..niche ka ek room jarur baki ke muqable kafi bada tha to main usko hi dekhne me ghanta bhar laga raha lekin iski maa ko chodu, kuch samajh nahi aaya..akhir thak haar kar vapis ek jagah baith gaya aur sochne laga.
Raj (mann me)—madarchod, kuch bhi samajh me nahi aa raha..chalo dusri paheli ke baare me sochta hu isko maa chudane do apni…kya thi dusri paheli..? haan, yaad aaya…
“Agal Bagal Chaara , Beech Mein Indaara ”
“अगल बगल चारा (घास) , बीच में इंदारा (बड़ा कुआं)”
Raj (mann me)—ab bhala iska kya matlab ho sakta hai madarchod..? agal bagal chaara aise likh diya jaise ki jhaant ho..( kuch yaad aate hi)..arrey haan, kahi iska matlab ‘BUR’ to nahi hai ? jarur bur hi hona chahiye…agal bagal jhaant, beech me bur ka gaddha…jarur yahi hai..bur hi hona chahiye iska jawab..lekin wasiyat ka bur se kya lena dena ? ya phir ye paheli pahli paheli se sambandhit ho ? ..(sochte huye)..agar inn dono paheliyo ko jod kar dekha jaye to sethaain (pardadi) upar se mootti hai aur pardada niche naha raha hota hai aise me pardadi ki bur kaha par hogi ?..toilet sheet ke upar..good. mil gaya jawab..
Main turant vaha se uth kar upar wale bathroom me gaya aur toilet sheet ko nikalne ka jugad karne laga..jab kuch jugad hath nahi laga to vaha pade huye patthar se usko todne ki koshish me jut gaya..akhir meri mehnat rang layi…toilet sheet jaise hi tooti, maine usko ukhad liya..lekin madarchod, kuch nahi mila.
Raj (mann me)—iss pardada ki maa ka bhosda madarchod..yaha kuch nahi hai..phaltu me mehnat karwa diya bhosdi ke ne..iski sethaain (pardadi) ko chodu..pardadi ki bur me to kuch nahi mila..ab chal ke pardada ka lawda todta hu..
Uske baad main pardada ko mann me dhero gaaliya dete huye niche wale bathroom me aa gaya aur vaha tod phod karne laga..lekin bathroom ke farsh ki jaise hi ek jagah ki tiles tooti to jaise mere dil me umang ki ek nayi lahar paida ho gayi… vaha tiles ke niche lagbhag ek hath ki gahrayi par ek golakar wall (chakri type) laga hua dikhayi diya.
Raj (hairan)—ab ye kya hai madarchod ? kahi phir se to koi paheli nahi mil jayegi bhagwan..bachana iss baar..paheli mat dena ab ki..chalo isko ghuma ke dekhta hu..ho sakta hai ki pani ke pipe ka wall ho lekin agar aisa hai to isko itni khufiya jagah par lagane ki kya jarurat thi ? chalo jo hoga dekha jayega..pardadi ki bur ka naam le kar isko ghuma hi deta hu..
Maine vaha hath daal kar uss wall ko ghumana chaha lekin vo madarchod tas se mas nahi hua..ye dekh kar maine aav dekha na taav gusse se ek bada patthar utha kar uske upar thok diya….vo kahte hain na ki laato ke bhoot baato se nahi mante..aisa hi hua, patthar lagte hi uss madarchod ki gaand phat gayi..
Iss baar maine jaise hi ghumane ke liye thoda jor lagaya to vah karr..karr ki awaz ke sath ghum gaya..lekin agle hi pal chounkne ki bari meri thi.
Lajawab be-mishaal update h bhaiSAANDHum jhadiyo ko raste se hatate huye aage badhne ka rasta banate banate chalte gaye…aise hi chalte chalte thodi doori par kuch khandahar jaisa kuch nazar aaya.
UPDATE-297
Iron man—lagta hai ki vahi hoga..
Raj—hmmm..chalo dekhte hain..
Hamne tezi se kadam badhate huye akhir uss toote phute ghar tak ka rasta tay kar hi liya..lekin vaha pahuch kar jaise hi hamne uss khandahar me ghusne ke liye apne kadam aage badhaye ki tabhi achanak…
Ab aage…….
Meri nazar uss lagbhag dharashayi ho chuke khandhar par padi to main kuch pal ke liye chounk kar rah gaya…uski banawat hi kuch iss tarah ki thi ki mera use dekh kar chounkna swabhavik hi tha…uss ghar ke ya phir sahi shabdo me use ghar ki bajaye aalishan mahal kahna hi adhik upyukt hoga kyonki vah kafi bade bhu-bhag par bana hua tha jiski teen taraf ki deeware aadhi gir chuki thi…vah ghar ya mahal paanch kono ki sanrachna se banaya gaya tha.
Raj (hairan, mann me)—ye ghar paanch kono wala kyon hai ? ise aisa banane ke piche kya vajah ho sakti hai ?
Prem—raj kya soch me pad gaye ? andar chalna hai ya phir vapis lout chale ?
Iron—iss khandahar me aane ka kya matlab hai yaar ? yaha andar pata saanp ya bichchoo bhi ho sakte hain, black army se to kisi taraf bach ke aa gaya lekin agar inhone ek baar kaat liya to bachna mushkil hai.
Raj—pata nahi yaar bas mann me iss ghar ko dekhne ki ichcha huyi to chala aaya..ab jab yaha tak aa hi gaye hain to ek baar andar chal ke bhitar ka nazara bhi dekh hi lete hain.
Sorbobhuk—theek hai chalo phir lekin savdhan rahna kya pata andar kaisa khatra ho..
Raj—hmmm..chalo..
Hum savdhani se beech me jagah jagah lage huye jaalo ko hatate huye andar aa gaye…lekin vaha malbe ke atirikt kuch bhi nazar nahi aa raha tha ..haan, itna jarur tha ki ghar double manzil ka bana hua tha…dono hi manzil ke kuch avshesh ab bhi shesh the, chhat jarur gir gayi thi.
Upar wali manzil par six room ke sath ladies bathroom tha aur uske hi niche ground floor par gents bathroom aur itne hi kamre bane huye the…hamne vaha kuch der tak ghum phir kar dekha kintu kuch bhi hairatangej baat nazar me nahi aayi to hum vaha se vapis lout aaye.
Sorbobhuk—main pahle hi kahta tha ki yaha aana bevkoofi hai..hame sheetal didi ke sath sath ab chodu gang ko bhi talash karna hai aur samay bahut kam hai hamare paas.
Iron—mere khyal se hame ab planning kar ke sheetal didi aur chodu gang ko khojna chahiye, aisa karne se hum charo me se kisi na kisi ko to kamyabi mil hi jayegi…warna ek hi disha me bhatakte rahenge aur vaha vo black star apne manshubo me safal ho jayega.
Raj—nahi yaar, alag alag jane me risk hai.
Iron—hamare paas dusra koi chaara bhi to nahi hai..ya phir tumhare paas koi plan ho to batao..
Raj—prem bhai, tum abhay aur uski haweli par nazar rakho…sorbobhuk aur iron man tum dono chodu gang ko talash karne ke sath sath unse contact karne ki koshish karo aur main sheetal didi ki khoj karta hu.
Teeno—ok
Raj—aur haan, apne phone on rakhna..
Iske baad plan final hote hi sab apne apne kaam me bataye anusar lag gaye..prem, abhay ki haweli ki taraf chala gaya.. baki dono chodu gang ki talash me nikal gaye aur main apne kaam me lag gaya lekin mera mann behad ashant ho raha tha.. nirasha mere upar havi ho rahi thi.
Mere paas sirf teen din ka samay bacha tha aur ab tak main apni talash me jaha se chala tha, apne aap ko vahi khada pa raha tha, black star ki koi pahchan mere paas nahi thi aise me do din baad use khatam karna bahut kathin kaam lagne laga tha.
Raj (mann me)—mujhe lag raha tha ki unn paheliyo ka kuch na kuch sambandh jarur hona chahiye uss ghar se lekin uss ghar me to kuch nahi mila, jaisa mujhe laga tha..ab kya karu, kaise apni manzil tak pahuchu ? mere paas aaj ko chhod kar do hi din ka time hai aur ab tak black star ya phir wasiyat ke baare me meri jankari lund bate paratha hi hai…ragini didi ki bhosdi saas ne jis shakhs ka naam liya tha, vo sun kar mujhe poora yakin tha ki yaha kuch to jarur milega jiska mere maqsad se bahut gahra sambandh hai lekin vaha jane ke baad khali lawda hilate vapis aana pada..agar do din me maine wasiyat ko khoj kar uss madarchod ke hawale nahi kiya to meri sadhana nahi bachegi aur vo madarchod phir na jane kya karega sadhana ke sath..
Raj (ghabra kar)—nahii..nahi..main apni sadhana ko kuch nahi hone dunga..mujhe har haal me unhe bachana hoga..chahe isme meri jaan hi kyon na chali jaye..haan, mujhe bachana hi hoga…lekin kaise ? koi surag bhi to hath nahi lag raha ? kab tak andhere me bhatakta rahunga ? ab kaha se talash shuru karu ? (kuch soch kar) kyon na iss ghar ke baare me pata lagau, shayad kuch nayi jankari mil jaye ? dusra koi rasta bhi samajh me nahi aa raha hai, ab risk lena hi padega mujhe.aap chinta mat karna didi, main har haal me aapko bachaunga, agar aisa nahi kar paya to meri jaan jana bhi nishchit hai.
Mann hi mann kuch soch kar main uss ghar se nazdik ke ilako me ja ja kar uss ghar ke baare me puchtach karne laga, lekin ek to ye ghar bahut purana tha dusra new generation ko iske baare me malum nahi tha aur teesra, ye bhag main abadi ke hatkar tha isliye koi bhi iss ghar ke baare me kuch thos jankari de pane me asmarth the.
Raj (tension se mann me)—sale sab ke sab madarchod hain…inki maa ko chodu kisi ko kuch malum hi nahi hai uss ghar ke baare me…pardada ji tumhari maa ka bhosda..itni paheliya likh kar meri upar ja kar gaand marwa raha hai bhosdike aur yaha main chutiya bana ghum raha hu…lagta hai ki tu apni wasiyat bhi gaand me daal ke le gaya hoga ? ab kya karu, kaha jaau, kisse puchu ? …kyon na golu madari se pata karu ? ho sakata hai ki shayad use kuch malum ho ? akhir vo har jagah ghumta phirta rahta tha..(kuch yaad aate hi)..lekin vo madarchod bhi to ghar se bahut samay se gayab tha..kya pata vapis louta hoga ya nahi ? phir bhi ja kar ek baar dekhne me kya harz hai..ho sakta hai ki vapis aa gaya ho ?
Phir mann me golu madari se hi milne ka faisla kar ke main uske gaon ki taraf chal pada lekin vaha pahuch kar bhi mere hath nirasha hi aayi kyonki abhi bhi uske ghar me taala latka hua mila..phir kuch vichar kar ke main ussi budhiya ke yaha chala gaya jisne mujhe golu madari aur naina ke gayab hone ke vishay me bataya tha…Mujhe dekhte hi vo behad khush huyi.
Raj—maayi, naina aur baba vapis aaye ki nahi ? unke ghar me abhi tak taala laga hua hai ?
Budhiya—kaha aaye beta..na jane dono baap beti kaha chale gaye..? jab se gaye hain tab se unka koi ata pata nahi hai.
Raj—(mann me)..kyon na isse hi puch kar dekha jaye, shayad kuch pata ho ?
Budhiya—tum baitho beta, main tumhare liye kuch khane pine ko lati hu.
Raj—nahi..nahi maayi..mujhe abhi bhukh nahi hai..achcha maayi..ek baat puchni thi aapse..
Budhiya—haan, pucho beta..tumhe to maine bachpan se apni god me khilaya hai..mujhse kuch puchne ke liye tumhe aagya lene ki jarurat nahi hai beta..pucho..
Phir maine usse vahi ghar ke baare me pucha lekin usne jo bataya vo mere liye kafi hairan karne wala tha..
Budhiya—mujhe jyada kuch to pata nahi hai lekin maine apni saas aur ek baar golu madari ke muh se ye baat jarur suni thi ki vo mahal numa bada ghar rajasthan ke ek bahut bade admi ne banwaya tha..poore rajasthan me unhe seth ji ke naam se jana jata tha…unke 12 ladke the aur unki 12 biwiya sabhi ek sath sanyukt pariwar me rahte the..unke bade bete (pardada) ko chhod kar baki sabhi nikamme aur aiyyash the, isliye unhone marte samay apni poori jaydad apne bade bete (pardada) ke naam kar gaye..unke marne ke kuch samay baad se hi baki bhai jaydad par apna kabza jamane ke liye kshadyantra rachne lage..lekin phir na jane kya hua ki vo sab ek ek kar ke uss ghar se achanak hi gayab ho kar kaha chale gaye ? bas mujhe isse jyada nahi malum..
Raj (shocked)—kyaaaa..12 ladke the aur unki 12 biwiya ?
Budhiya—haan, har ladke ki ek biwi..lekin tum ye sab kyon puch rahe ho ? golu bhi jab dekho uss ghar ke baare me meri saas se puchta rahta tha.
Raj—bas aise hi…lekin aapki saas ko ye sab kaise malum tha ?
Budhiya—kyon meri saas ki saas uss ghar me naukrani ka kaam karti thi isliye thoda bahut meri saas ko unki saas ne bataya hoga aur meri saas ne mujhe.
Raj—ohhh ..(mann me)..kahi uss paheli ka sambandh inn 12 ladko aur unki 12 biwiyo se to nahi hai ? kya thi paheli..? haan, yaad aaya..
“Seth Sethaain Baarah Jodi, Seth Ka Kurta Lamba…Upar Se Sethaain Moote, Seth Kahe Har Ganga”
‘’सेठ सेठाइन बारह जोड़ी, सेठ का कुर्ता लम्बा ----ऊपर से सेठाइन मूतै, सेठ कहे हर गंगा”
Uske baad main thodi der aur idhar udhar ki baate karne ke baad main vaha se rawana ho gaya phir se uss ghar me jane ke liye..pahuchte pahuchte ab tak sham ka andhera ho chala tha..maine mobile ki torch on kar ke uss ghar me phir se ek nayi ummid ke sath ghus gaya.
Raj (mann me)—agar iss paheli ka sambandh iss ghar se hai to iska (paheli ka) matlab kya hai ? seth, sethaain 12 jodi ka matlab to samajh aa gaya lekin seth ka kurta lamba aur upar se sethaain moote, seth kahe har ganga..iska kya arth hua ? kya pardada madarchod, lamba kurta pahanta tha ?..iski maa ko chodu, inn paheliyo ne to mood ki gaand maar ke rakh di hai.
Main mobile torch ki roshni me vaha toote phute har kamre me ghum ghum kar dekhne laga magar kuch bhi aisa nazar nahi aa raha tha jisse ki mujhe koi aage ka rasta samajh me aaye..kintu tabhi mere dimag ki batti thoda jali..
Raj (achanak hi)—ek minute..ek minute…seth ka kurta lamba se kahi matlab bade kamre se to nahi hai, jo shayad pardada ka raha ho ? aur ‘Upar se sethaain moote, seth kahe har ganga’ iska matlab bathroom se ho ? kyonki ladies bathroom upar hai aur gents ka niche..to saaf jahir hai ki ladies upar wale bathroom ko hi mootne ke liye use karti rahi hogi aur gents niche ka nahane aur mootne ke liye use karte honge ?..haan, yahi raha hoga..lekin phir bhi paheli ka pardadi ke upar se mootne aur pardada ke niche nahane se kya sambandh ho sakta hai ? jo bhi ho par kuch to jarur hai..chalo pahle bathroom hi dekh liya jaye..
Main bari bari se dono bathroom dekhne laga magar kuch samajh nahi aaya to bahar aa kar room check karne laga..niche ka ek room jarur baki ke muqable kafi bada tha to main usko hi dekhne me ghanta bhar laga raha lekin iski maa ko chodu, kuch samajh nahi aaya..akhir thak haar kar vapis ek jagah baith gaya aur sochne laga.
Raj (mann me)—madarchod, kuch bhi samajh me nahi aa raha..chalo dusri paheli ke baare me sochta hu isko maa chudane do apni…kya thi dusri paheli..? haan, yaad aaya…
“Agal Bagal Chaara , Beech Mein Indaara ”
“अगल बगल चारा (घास) , बीच में इंदारा (बड़ा कुआं)”
Raj (mann me)—ab bhala iska kya matlab ho sakta hai madarchod..? agal bagal chaara aise likh diya jaise ki jhaant ho..( kuch yaad aate hi)..arrey haan, kahi iska matlab ‘BUR’ to nahi hai ? jarur bur hi hona chahiye…agal bagal jhaant, beech me bur ka gaddha…jarur yahi hai..bur hi hona chahiye iska jawab..lekin wasiyat ka bur se kya lena dena ? ya phir ye paheli pahli paheli se sambandhit ho ? ..(sochte huye)..agar inn dono paheliyo ko jod kar dekha jaye to sethaain (pardadi) upar se mootti hai aur pardada niche naha raha hota hai aise me pardadi ki bur kaha par hogi ?..toilet sheet ke upar..good. mil gaya jawab..
Main turant vaha se uth kar upar wale bathroom me gaya aur toilet sheet ko nikalne ka jugad karne laga..jab kuch jugad hath nahi laga to vaha pade huye patthar se usko todne ki koshish me jut gaya..akhir meri mehnat rang layi…toilet sheet jaise hi tooti, maine usko ukhad liya..lekin madarchod, kuch nahi mila.
Raj (mann me)—iss pardada ki maa ka bhosda madarchod..yaha kuch nahi hai..phaltu me mehnat karwa diya bhosdi ke ne..iski sethaain (pardadi) ko chodu..pardadi ki bur me to kuch nahi mila..ab chal ke pardada ka lawda todta hu..
Uske baad main pardada ko mann me dhero gaaliya dete huye niche wale bathroom me aa gaya aur vaha tod phod karne laga..lekin bathroom ke farsh ki jaise hi ek jagah ki tiles tooti to jaise mere dil me umang ki ek nayi lahar paida ho gayi… vaha tiles ke niche lagbhag ek hath ki gahrayi par ek golakar wall (chakri type) laga hua dikhayi diya.
Raj (hairan)—ab ye kya hai madarchod ? kahi phir se to koi paheli nahi mil jayegi bhagwan..bachana iss baar..paheli mat dena ab ki..chalo isko ghuma ke dekhta hu..ho sakta hai ki pani ke pipe ka wall ho lekin agar aisa hai to isko itni khufiya jagah par lagane ki kya jarurat thi ? chalo jo hoga dekha jayega..pardadi ki bur ka naam le kar isko ghuma hi deta hu..
Maine vaha hath daal kar uss wall ko ghumana chaha lekin vo madarchod tas se mas nahi hua..ye dekh kar maine aav dekha na taav gusse se ek bada patthar utha kar uske upar thok diya….vo kahte hain na ki laato ke bhoot baato se nahi mante..aisa hi hua, patthar lagte hi uss madarchod ki gaand phat gayi..
Iss baar maine jaise hi ghumane ke liye thoda jor lagaya to vah karr..karr ki awaz ke sath ghum gaya..lekin agle hi pal chounkne ki bari meri thi.
superb updateSAANDHum jhadiyo ko raste se hatate huye aage badhne ka rasta banate banate chalte gaye…aise hi chalte chalte thodi doori par kuch khandahar jaisa kuch nazar aaya.
UPDATE-297
Iron man—lagta hai ki vahi hoga..
Raj—hmmm..chalo dekhte hain..
Hamne tezi se kadam badhate huye akhir uss toote phute ghar tak ka rasta tay kar hi liya..lekin vaha pahuch kar jaise hi hamne uss khandahar me ghusne ke liye apne kadam aage badhaye ki tabhi achanak…
Ab aage…….
Meri nazar uss lagbhag dharashayi ho chuke khandhar par padi to main kuch pal ke liye chounk kar rah gaya…uski banawat hi kuch iss tarah ki thi ki mera use dekh kar chounkna swabhavik hi tha…uss ghar ke ya phir sahi shabdo me use ghar ki bajaye aalishan mahal kahna hi adhik upyukt hoga kyonki vah kafi bade bhu-bhag par bana hua tha jiski teen taraf ki deeware aadhi gir chuki thi…vah ghar ya mahal paanch kono ki sanrachna se banaya gaya tha.
Raj (hairan, mann me)—ye ghar paanch kono wala kyon hai ? ise aisa banane ke piche kya vajah ho sakti hai ?
Prem—raj kya soch me pad gaye ? andar chalna hai ya phir vapis lout chale ?
Iron—iss khandahar me aane ka kya matlab hai yaar ? yaha andar pata saanp ya bichchoo bhi ho sakte hain, black army se to kisi taraf bach ke aa gaya lekin agar inhone ek baar kaat liya to bachna mushkil hai.
Raj—pata nahi yaar bas mann me iss ghar ko dekhne ki ichcha huyi to chala aaya..ab jab yaha tak aa hi gaye hain to ek baar andar chal ke bhitar ka nazara bhi dekh hi lete hain.
Sorbobhuk—theek hai chalo phir lekin savdhan rahna kya pata andar kaisa khatra ho..
Raj—hmmm..chalo..
Hum savdhani se beech me jagah jagah lage huye jaalo ko hatate huye andar aa gaye…lekin vaha malbe ke atirikt kuch bhi nazar nahi aa raha tha ..haan, itna jarur tha ki ghar double manzil ka bana hua tha…dono hi manzil ke kuch avshesh ab bhi shesh the, chhat jarur gir gayi thi.
Upar wali manzil par six room ke sath ladies bathroom tha aur uske hi niche ground floor par gents bathroom aur itne hi kamre bane huye the…hamne vaha kuch der tak ghum phir kar dekha kintu kuch bhi hairatangej baat nazar me nahi aayi to hum vaha se vapis lout aaye.
Sorbobhuk—main pahle hi kahta tha ki yaha aana bevkoofi hai..hame sheetal didi ke sath sath ab chodu gang ko bhi talash karna hai aur samay bahut kam hai hamare paas.
Iron—mere khyal se hame ab planning kar ke sheetal didi aur chodu gang ko khojna chahiye, aisa karne se hum charo me se kisi na kisi ko to kamyabi mil hi jayegi…warna ek hi disha me bhatakte rahenge aur vaha vo black star apne manshubo me safal ho jayega.
Raj—nahi yaar, alag alag jane me risk hai.
Iron—hamare paas dusra koi chaara bhi to nahi hai..ya phir tumhare paas koi plan ho to batao..
Raj—prem bhai, tum abhay aur uski haweli par nazar rakho…sorbobhuk aur iron man tum dono chodu gang ko talash karne ke sath sath unse contact karne ki koshish karo aur main sheetal didi ki khoj karta hu.
Teeno—ok
Raj—aur haan, apne phone on rakhna..
Iske baad plan final hote hi sab apne apne kaam me bataye anusar lag gaye..prem, abhay ki haweli ki taraf chala gaya.. baki dono chodu gang ki talash me nikal gaye aur main apne kaam me lag gaya lekin mera mann behad ashant ho raha tha.. nirasha mere upar havi ho rahi thi.
Mere paas sirf teen din ka samay bacha tha aur ab tak main apni talash me jaha se chala tha, apne aap ko vahi khada pa raha tha, black star ki koi pahchan mere paas nahi thi aise me do din baad use khatam karna bahut kathin kaam lagne laga tha.
Raj (mann me)—mujhe lag raha tha ki unn paheliyo ka kuch na kuch sambandh jarur hona chahiye uss ghar se lekin uss ghar me to kuch nahi mila, jaisa mujhe laga tha..ab kya karu, kaise apni manzil tak pahuchu ? mere paas aaj ko chhod kar do hi din ka time hai aur ab tak black star ya phir wasiyat ke baare me meri jankari lund bate paratha hi hai…ragini didi ki bhosdi saas ne jis shakhs ka naam liya tha, vo sun kar mujhe poora yakin tha ki yaha kuch to jarur milega jiska mere maqsad se bahut gahra sambandh hai lekin vaha jane ke baad khali lawda hilate vapis aana pada..agar do din me maine wasiyat ko khoj kar uss madarchod ke hawale nahi kiya to meri sadhana nahi bachegi aur vo madarchod phir na jane kya karega sadhana ke sath..
Raj (ghabra kar)—nahii..nahi..main apni sadhana ko kuch nahi hone dunga..mujhe har haal me unhe bachana hoga..chahe isme meri jaan hi kyon na chali jaye..haan, mujhe bachana hi hoga…lekin kaise ? koi surag bhi to hath nahi lag raha ? kab tak andhere me bhatakta rahunga ? ab kaha se talash shuru karu ? (kuch soch kar) kyon na iss ghar ke baare me pata lagau, shayad kuch nayi jankari mil jaye ? dusra koi rasta bhi samajh me nahi aa raha hai, ab risk lena hi padega mujhe.aap chinta mat karna didi, main har haal me aapko bachaunga, agar aisa nahi kar paya to meri jaan jana bhi nishchit hai.
Mann hi mann kuch soch kar main uss ghar se nazdik ke ilako me ja ja kar uss ghar ke baare me puchtach karne laga, lekin ek to ye ghar bahut purana tha dusra new generation ko iske baare me malum nahi tha aur teesra, ye bhag main abadi ke hatkar tha isliye koi bhi iss ghar ke baare me kuch thos jankari de pane me asmarth the.
Raj (tension se mann me)—sale sab ke sab madarchod hain…inki maa ko chodu kisi ko kuch malum hi nahi hai uss ghar ke baare me…pardada ji tumhari maa ka bhosda..itni paheliya likh kar meri upar ja kar gaand marwa raha hai bhosdike aur yaha main chutiya bana ghum raha hu…lagta hai ki tu apni wasiyat bhi gaand me daal ke le gaya hoga ? ab kya karu, kaha jaau, kisse puchu ? …kyon na golu madari se pata karu ? ho sakata hai ki shayad use kuch malum ho ? akhir vo har jagah ghumta phirta rahta tha..(kuch yaad aate hi)..lekin vo madarchod bhi to ghar se bahut samay se gayab tha..kya pata vapis louta hoga ya nahi ? phir bhi ja kar ek baar dekhne me kya harz hai..ho sakta hai ki vapis aa gaya ho ?
Phir mann me golu madari se hi milne ka faisla kar ke main uske gaon ki taraf chal pada lekin vaha pahuch kar bhi mere hath nirasha hi aayi kyonki abhi bhi uske ghar me taala latka hua mila..phir kuch vichar kar ke main ussi budhiya ke yaha chala gaya jisne mujhe golu madari aur naina ke gayab hone ke vishay me bataya tha…Mujhe dekhte hi vo behad khush huyi.
Raj—maayi, naina aur baba vapis aaye ki nahi ? unke ghar me abhi tak taala laga hua hai ?
Budhiya—kaha aaye beta..na jane dono baap beti kaha chale gaye..? jab se gaye hain tab se unka koi ata pata nahi hai.
Raj—(mann me)..kyon na isse hi puch kar dekha jaye, shayad kuch pata ho ?
Budhiya—tum baitho beta, main tumhare liye kuch khane pine ko lati hu.
Raj—nahi..nahi maayi..mujhe abhi bhukh nahi hai..achcha maayi..ek baat puchni thi aapse..
Budhiya—haan, pucho beta..tumhe to maine bachpan se apni god me khilaya hai..mujhse kuch puchne ke liye tumhe aagya lene ki jarurat nahi hai beta..pucho..
Phir maine usse vahi ghar ke baare me pucha lekin usne jo bataya vo mere liye kafi hairan karne wala tha..
Budhiya—mujhe jyada kuch to pata nahi hai lekin maine apni saas aur ek baar golu madari ke muh se ye baat jarur suni thi ki vo mahal numa bada ghar rajasthan ke ek bahut bade admi ne banwaya tha..poore rajasthan me unhe seth ji ke naam se jana jata tha…unke 12 ladke the aur unki 12 biwiya sabhi ek sath sanyukt pariwar me rahte the..unke bade bete (pardada) ko chhod kar baki sabhi nikamme aur aiyyash the, isliye unhone marte samay apni poori jaydad apne bade bete (pardada) ke naam kar gaye..unke marne ke kuch samay baad se hi baki bhai jaydad par apna kabza jamane ke liye kshadyantra rachne lage..lekin phir na jane kya hua ki vo sab ek ek kar ke uss ghar se achanak hi gayab ho kar kaha chale gaye ? bas mujhe isse jyada nahi malum..
Raj (shocked)—kyaaaa..12 ladke the aur unki 12 biwiya ?
Budhiya—haan, har ladke ki ek biwi..lekin tum ye sab kyon puch rahe ho ? golu bhi jab dekho uss ghar ke baare me meri saas se puchta rahta tha.
Raj—bas aise hi…lekin aapki saas ko ye sab kaise malum tha ?
Budhiya—kyon meri saas ki saas uss ghar me naukrani ka kaam karti thi isliye thoda bahut meri saas ko unki saas ne bataya hoga aur meri saas ne mujhe.
Raj—ohhh ..(mann me)..kahi uss paheli ka sambandh inn 12 ladko aur unki 12 biwiyo se to nahi hai ? kya thi paheli..? haan, yaad aaya..
“Seth Sethaain Baarah Jodi, Seth Ka Kurta Lamba…Upar Se Sethaain Moote, Seth Kahe Har Ganga”
‘’सेठ सेठाइन बारह जोड़ी, सेठ का कुर्ता लम्बा ----ऊपर से सेठाइन मूतै, सेठ कहे हर गंगा”
Uske baad main thodi der aur idhar udhar ki baate karne ke baad main vaha se rawana ho gaya phir se uss ghar me jane ke liye..pahuchte pahuchte ab tak sham ka andhera ho chala tha..maine mobile ki torch on kar ke uss ghar me phir se ek nayi ummid ke sath ghus gaya.
Raj (mann me)—agar iss paheli ka sambandh iss ghar se hai to iska (paheli ka) matlab kya hai ? seth, sethaain 12 jodi ka matlab to samajh aa gaya lekin seth ka kurta lamba aur upar se sethaain moote, seth kahe har ganga..iska kya arth hua ? kya pardada madarchod, lamba kurta pahanta tha ?..iski maa ko chodu, inn paheliyo ne to mood ki gaand maar ke rakh di hai.
Main mobile torch ki roshni me vaha toote phute har kamre me ghum ghum kar dekhne laga magar kuch bhi aisa nazar nahi aa raha tha jisse ki mujhe koi aage ka rasta samajh me aaye..kintu tabhi mere dimag ki batti thoda jali..
Raj (achanak hi)—ek minute..ek minute…seth ka kurta lamba se kahi matlab bade kamre se to nahi hai, jo shayad pardada ka raha ho ? aur ‘Upar se sethaain moote, seth kahe har ganga’ iska matlab bathroom se ho ? kyonki ladies bathroom upar hai aur gents ka niche..to saaf jahir hai ki ladies upar wale bathroom ko hi mootne ke liye use karti rahi hogi aur gents niche ka nahane aur mootne ke liye use karte honge ?..haan, yahi raha hoga..lekin phir bhi paheli ka pardadi ke upar se mootne aur pardada ke niche nahane se kya sambandh ho sakta hai ? jo bhi ho par kuch to jarur hai..chalo pahle bathroom hi dekh liya jaye..
Main bari bari se dono bathroom dekhne laga magar kuch samajh nahi aaya to bahar aa kar room check karne laga..niche ka ek room jarur baki ke muqable kafi bada tha to main usko hi dekhne me ghanta bhar laga raha lekin iski maa ko chodu, kuch samajh nahi aaya..akhir thak haar kar vapis ek jagah baith gaya aur sochne laga.
Raj (mann me)—madarchod, kuch bhi samajh me nahi aa raha..chalo dusri paheli ke baare me sochta hu isko maa chudane do apni…kya thi dusri paheli..? haan, yaad aaya…
“Agal Bagal Chaara , Beech Mein Indaara ”
“अगल बगल चारा (घास) , बीच में इंदारा (बड़ा कुआं)”
Raj (mann me)—ab bhala iska kya matlab ho sakta hai madarchod..? agal bagal chaara aise likh diya jaise ki jhaant ho..( kuch yaad aate hi)..arrey haan, kahi iska matlab ‘BUR’ to nahi hai ? jarur bur hi hona chahiye…agal bagal jhaant, beech me bur ka gaddha…jarur yahi hai..bur hi hona chahiye iska jawab..lekin wasiyat ka bur se kya lena dena ? ya phir ye paheli pahli paheli se sambandhit ho ? ..(sochte huye)..agar inn dono paheliyo ko jod kar dekha jaye to sethaain (pardadi) upar se mootti hai aur pardada niche naha raha hota hai aise me pardadi ki bur kaha par hogi ?..toilet sheet ke upar..good. mil gaya jawab..
Main turant vaha se uth kar upar wale bathroom me gaya aur toilet sheet ko nikalne ka jugad karne laga..jab kuch jugad hath nahi laga to vaha pade huye patthar se usko todne ki koshish me jut gaya..akhir meri mehnat rang layi…toilet sheet jaise hi tooti, maine usko ukhad liya..lekin madarchod, kuch nahi mila.
Raj (mann me)—iss pardada ki maa ka bhosda madarchod..yaha kuch nahi hai..phaltu me mehnat karwa diya bhosdi ke ne..iski sethaain (pardadi) ko chodu..pardadi ki bur me to kuch nahi mila..ab chal ke pardada ka lawda todta hu..
Uske baad main pardada ko mann me dhero gaaliya dete huye niche wale bathroom me aa gaya aur vaha tod phod karne laga..lekin bathroom ke farsh ki jaise hi ek jagah ki tiles tooti to jaise mere dil me umang ki ek nayi lahar paida ho gayi… vaha tiles ke niche lagbhag ek hath ki gahrayi par ek golakar wall (chakri type) laga hua dikhayi diya.
Raj (hairan)—ab ye kya hai madarchod ? kahi phir se to koi paheli nahi mil jayegi bhagwan..bachana iss baar..paheli mat dena ab ki..chalo isko ghuma ke dekhta hu..ho sakta hai ki pani ke pipe ka wall ho lekin agar aisa hai to isko itni khufiya jagah par lagane ki kya jarurat thi ? chalo jo hoga dekha jayega..pardadi ki bur ka naam le kar isko ghuma hi deta hu..
Maine vaha hath daal kar uss wall ko ghumana chaha lekin vo madarchod tas se mas nahi hua..ye dekh kar maine aav dekha na taav gusse se ek bada patthar utha kar uske upar thok diya….vo kahte hain na ki laato ke bhoot baato se nahi mante..aisa hi hua, patthar lagte hi uss madarchod ki gaand phat gayi..
Iss baar maine jaise hi ghumane ke liye thoda jor lagaya to vah karr..karr ki awaz ke sath ghum gaya..lekin agle hi pal chounkne ki bari meri thi.