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Fantasy Saurya - ek youdha (Completed)

Kya mujhe mere likhne ka tarika change karna chahiye

  • nahi aise hi sahi hai

    Votes: 130 91.5%
  • haa (to comment kr mujhe advice d)

    Votes: 12 8.5%

  • Total voters
    142

Ristrcted

Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds
Staff member
Moderator
41,561
36,848
304
Hi friend maine xforum pr kafi stories padi hai aur ab mai bhi apni ek story post karne ja raha hu ab jyada wakt na lete huye
story p chalte h jaise jaise log milte rahenge unke bare m batata jaunga .
so lets go


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Last edited:

Killerpanditji(pandit)

Well-Known Member
10,269
38,685
258
UPDATE - 89

Ab tak

WO bacchi apne Maa Baap yaani Alex aur Varsha ko wo sab dikha rahi thi...(Maarcuss ka scene ba sek jalak thi acctually main Bacchi ne sab kuch dikha diya hai in dono ko)

Ab aage

Chaliye pahle to hum uss jagah jaate hai jaha abhi apna hero Saurya pahucha hua hai....waise to wo wahi tha Alex aur baakiyon ke pass par sirf body tha waha....

Hmm to abhi wo ek aise jagah pe tha jaha kuch bhi nahi tha par sab kuch tha matlab jo jiski bhi jarurat padni thi wo waha aa jata..

Talwar- tumhe agar mujhe pana hai to 2 chunautiyon ko paar karna hoga...

Main- Chunautiyan.....hmm batao kya hai wo..

Talwar- Aasan hai pahle khud ke gulam se jito fir khud se...

Main- Matlab...

Koi awaj nahi aaya balki ab Alex mere saamne khada tha par uski aankhen bilkul se alag thi itni alag ki puccho hi maat puri grey rang.....

Main - Alex tum....

Par usko to sunnayi hi ahi diya usne to bad meri taraf aag ke golle fekne shuru kar diye....

Mere paas pahle to koi hatiyaar hi nahi tha ki ska saamna kar saku...kuch samjh nahi aa raha tha..

Main bas yaha se waha kudta raha usse bacchte hue kuch samjh to aa nahi raha tha.

Main- Ye Alex to ho hi nahi sakta iski aankhen aisi hai....

Awaj- Ye Alex ka wo roop hai jab wo apne control se bahar chala jaayega aur yahi tumhari pahli chunauti hai tumhe usko control karna hai.....

Main - Kon kon bola ye...

Awaj- Pahle isko control karo fir main bhi saamne aaungi...

Main ab ye sochne laga kaise control kiya jaaye iss Alex ko....Yaha se waha kudte hue uske har ek waar se bachte hue ...

Pata nahi kyun mujhe aisa laga ki mujhe uske theek saamne jana chahiye aur usko samjhana chahiye.....pata tha ye sabse bura idea hai par baar baar yahi baat dimmag mein aa raha tha...

Shuru mein to main nahi gaya...ab kon maut ke muh mein jaaye par fir khud ko himmat dete hue uske saamne chala gaya...usne mere upar aag choda par mujhe kuch bhi nahi hua...Ajeeb tha naa ye...

Main to bas khud ko dekhta rah gaya kyunki mujhe uske aag se koi bhi choot nahi lagi thi...

Main ab aur aage jaane laga dhire dhire uske pass jaane laga aur fir uske saamne pahuch gaya iss dauran naa jaane kitni hi baar usne mujhpe aag se hamla kiya tha par koi nukshan nahi hua tha mujhe...

Main thik uske saamne pahuch gaya aur usne mujhe apne panjo se ek jhatka diya aur main dur jaa gira...aur issi ke saath mera ye bhram bhi toot gaya ki ye mujhe chah kar bhi nukshan nahi pahucha sakta....

Main waha se utha..

MAin- ye to maarta bhi hai yaar isko kaise control karu.......

Dimmag mein kuch aa to raha nahi tha mere.....main fir se chal diya uske pass aur iss baar iss baat ka dhyaan rakha tha ki kisi bhi tarah uske panjo se wapas dur naa fenk diya jaaun bas thodi mehnat massakat ke baad mein thik uske saamne tha aur maine ek chalang lagayi aur uske upar chad gaya...apna haat uske sar pe rakh diya....bas aisa karna tha aur uske aankhon ka rang badalne laga sirf rang hi nahi balki wo khud bhi badalne laga wo dhunwa(smoke) ban gaya jiske bich mein bahut si roshni ke golle the...

Abhi main samajhne ki koshish hi to kar raha tha ki wo saare roshni ke gole jo the wo mere charo oor ghumne lage aur mere ander samma gaye....

Acchanak se khud ko bahut hi jyada takatwar mehsus karne laga main aisa lag raha tha kuch purana aur kuch naya jo mera tha wo mere pass aa chuka hai...

Abhi main kuch karta usse pahle Talwar saamne aa gaya mere aur bola..

Talwar- pahla padaw paar kar liya tumne aur uska inam bhi mil gaya tumhe ab baari hai dusre padaw ki aur jiska inam main hu...meri shaktiyan hai...meri wafadari hai...

Main - Isme kya karna hai mujhe...

Abhi meri baat complete hi hui thi ki wo talwar bilkul meri tarah ban gaya....

Talwar- Agar tum mere binna ho khash to mujhe paoge apne pass....

Main- Ye koi paheli thi kya...

Talwar- Ek tip thi jo tumhe koi batana chahti thi par ab wo mere kabje mein hai agar tum jitte to main to tumhara hounga hi saath hi saath wo bhi aajad hogi warna tum bhi mere saath yahi rahoge...

Main - wo hai kon ye batao....

Talwar ne koi jawab nahi diya balki meri oor daud pada uske haath mein 2 talwar the... main bilkul nihatha....Ab kya karna tha samjh nahi aa raha tha..

Usme ek waar kiya mere upar par main jhuk gaya aur bach gaya saath hi mauka dekhte hue uske kamar ke pass ek mukka de marra jisse uski aah nikal gayi....saath hi uske haath se ek talwar gir gayi.... maine fat se Talwar utha liya...par wo ab waha nahi tha wo wapas ussi jagah pe khada tha jaha se wo bhagta hua aaya tha...

talwar - Kya soch rahe ho ye mera tarika hai kisi ko hatiyar dene ka....kisi nihatte se nahi ladta main khasskar wo jo kaabil ho..,chalo ab to tumhare pass bhi hatiyar hai ab dekhte hai kitni kaabiliyat hai tumme...

Bas uske baad kya tha hum dono mein talwar bazzi hui jisme hum dono hi barabri ke hue uske har waaar ka jawab mere paass tha aur mere waaron ka uske pass....

Dono bas aise hi ladte rahe....wo to thak bhi nahi raha tha par main thakne laga usse ladte ladte.....iss dauran ek baat to samajh mein aayi meri ki iss tarah kuch nahi hona hai koi aur tarika hai...par kya maine dimmag pe zor dala aur ek baat yaad aayi aur maine turant se uski di hui talwar nicche fenk di...

Wo mujhe dekh kar mushkurane laga...

Main wahi par khade khade apni aankhen bad karke talwar ko yaad karne laga...

Main- Ab kya main khass hu yaa wahi hu jo tum abhi banne hue ho yaani ki Saurya..

Talwar- Hmm kuch khass hue ho thoda hona baaki hai apni talwar to chod di ab meri bhi chudwa do fir main tumhara rahunga....

Itna bol wo daudha meri oor aur main bas khada raha kyunki mujhe pata lag chuka tha ki kya karna hai....

Wo bhagta hua aaya aur apni takwar se mujhpe war kiya main jhuk gaya usne wapas waar kiya nicche ki oor main side mein chala gaya....usne uss oor waar kiya main uske dusre side chala gaya...

Ye simple tha wo mere har ek move ka pata laga leta tha aur usko rook leta tha tabhi maine waar karna hi chod diya...main bas uss ek mauke ki talash mein tha ki kab ye wo waar kare aur main isko jhatka du....

Bas jyada intejar nahi karna pada usne wo waar kiya jiska mujhe intezar tha aur maine thik uske nichhe se hote hue ek punch uske gardan pe de maara jisse uske haath se uski talwar gir gayi...talwar ka girna tha wo light ke form mein chala gaya aur mere ander aa gaya...

Uska mere ander aana tha ki N.Mom mere saamne aa gayi..

Main- App aap yaha kaise...

N.mom- Madad karne aayi thi par ye talwar to bahut chalak tha mujhe pakad liya...accha ab ye chodo aur wapas chalo..

Main- Hmm main abhi portal kholta hu..

N.mom- ye portal se hum wapas nahi jaa sakte uss talwar ko bayar nikalo wahi hame wapas bhejega...

Maine N.mom ki baat maani aur talwar ko bulaya wo mere pass aaya aur maine usko wapas chalne ke liye kaha ....

Aaj ke liye itna hi kal ke update mein dekhiye Saurya ka jinlok ka safar saath hi Alex ki beti usko bahut kuch dikhlane wali hai wo bhi to banne rahiye...
Zabardast update dost
 
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Nevil singh

Well-Known Member
21,150
53,000
173
UPDATE - 89

Ab tak

WO bacchi apne Maa Baap yaani Alex aur Varsha ko wo sab dikha rahi thi...(Maarcuss ka scene ba sek jalak thi acctually main Bacchi ne sab kuch dikha diya hai in dono ko)

Ab aage

Chaliye pahle to hum uss jagah jaate hai jaha abhi apna hero Saurya pahucha hua hai....waise to wo wahi tha Alex aur baakiyon ke pass par sirf body tha waha....

Hmm to abhi wo ek aise jagah pe tha jaha kuch bhi nahi tha par sab kuch tha matlab jo jiski bhi jarurat padni thi wo waha aa jata..

Talwar- tumhe agar mujhe pana hai to 2 chunautiyon ko paar karna hoga...

Main- Chunautiyan.....hmm batao kya hai wo..

Talwar- Aasan hai pahle khud ke gulam se jito fir khud se...

Main- Matlab...

Koi awaj nahi aaya balki ab Alex mere saamne khada tha par uski aankhen bilkul se alag thi itni alag ki puccho hi maat puri grey rang.....

Main - Alex tum....

Par usko to sunnayi hi ahi diya usne to bad meri taraf aag ke golle fekne shuru kar diye....

Mere paas pahle to koi hatiyaar hi nahi tha ki ska saamna kar saku...kuch samjh nahi aa raha tha..

Main bas yaha se waha kudta raha usse bacchte hue kuch samjh to aa nahi raha tha.

Main- Ye Alex to ho hi nahi sakta iski aankhen aisi hai....

Awaj- Ye Alex ka wo roop hai jab wo apne control se bahar chala jaayega aur yahi tumhari pahli chunauti hai tumhe usko control karna hai.....

Main - Kon kon bola ye...

Awaj- Pahle isko control karo fir main bhi saamne aaungi...

Main ab ye sochne laga kaise control kiya jaaye iss Alex ko....Yaha se waha kudte hue uske har ek waar se bachte hue ...

Pata nahi kyun mujhe aisa laga ki mujhe uske theek saamne jana chahiye aur usko samjhana chahiye.....pata tha ye sabse bura idea hai par baar baar yahi baat dimmag mein aa raha tha...

Shuru mein to main nahi gaya...ab kon maut ke muh mein jaaye par fir khud ko himmat dete hue uske saamne chala gaya...usne mere upar aag choda par mujhe kuch bhi nahi hua...Ajeeb tha naa ye...

Main to bas khud ko dekhta rah gaya kyunki mujhe uske aag se koi bhi choot nahi lagi thi...

Main ab aur aage jaane laga dhire dhire uske pass jaane laga aur fir uske saamne pahuch gaya iss dauran naa jaane kitni hi baar usne mujhpe aag se hamla kiya tha par koi nukshan nahi hua tha mujhe...

Main thik uske saamne pahuch gaya aur usne mujhe apne panjo se ek jhatka diya aur main dur jaa gira...aur issi ke saath mera ye bhram bhi toot gaya ki ye mujhe chah kar bhi nukshan nahi pahucha sakta....

Main waha se utha..

MAin- ye to maarta bhi hai yaar isko kaise control karu.......

Dimmag mein kuch aa to raha nahi tha mere.....main fir se chal diya uske pass aur iss baar iss baat ka dhyaan rakha tha ki kisi bhi tarah uske panjo se wapas dur naa fenk diya jaaun bas thodi mehnat massakat ke baad mein thik uske saamne tha aur maine ek chalang lagayi aur uske upar chad gaya...apna haat uske sar pe rakh diya....bas aisa karna tha aur uske aankhon ka rang badalne laga sirf rang hi nahi balki wo khud bhi badalne laga wo dhunwa(smoke) ban gaya jiske bich mein bahut si roshni ke golle the...

Abhi main samajhne ki koshish hi to kar raha tha ki wo saare roshni ke gole jo the wo mere charo oor ghumne lage aur mere ander samma gaye....

Acchanak se khud ko bahut hi jyada takatwar mehsus karne laga main aisa lag raha tha kuch purana aur kuch naya jo mera tha wo mere pass aa chuka hai...

Abhi main kuch karta usse pahle Talwar saamne aa gaya mere aur bola..

Talwar- pahla padaw paar kar liya tumne aur uska inam bhi mil gaya tumhe ab baari hai dusre padaw ki aur jiska inam main hu...meri shaktiyan hai...meri wafadari hai...

Main - Isme kya karna hai mujhe...

Abhi meri baat complete hi hui thi ki wo talwar bilkul meri tarah ban gaya....

Talwar- Agar tum mere binna ho khash to mujhe paoge apne pass....

Main- Ye koi paheli thi kya...

Talwar- Ek tip thi jo tumhe koi batana chahti thi par ab wo mere kabje mein hai agar tum jitte to main to tumhara hounga hi saath hi saath wo bhi aajad hogi warna tum bhi mere saath yahi rahoge...

Main - wo hai kon ye batao....

Talwar ne koi jawab nahi diya balki meri oor daud pada uske haath mein 2 talwar the... main bilkul nihatha....Ab kya karna tha samjh nahi aa raha tha..

Usme ek waar kiya mere upar par main jhuk gaya aur bach gaya saath hi mauka dekhte hue uske kamar ke pass ek mukka de marra jisse uski aah nikal gayi....saath hi uske haath se ek talwar gir gayi.... maine fat se Talwar utha liya...par wo ab waha nahi tha wo wapas ussi jagah pe khada tha jaha se wo bhagta hua aaya tha...

talwar - Kya soch rahe ho ye mera tarika hai kisi ko hatiyar dene ka....kisi nihatte se nahi ladta main khasskar wo jo kaabil ho..,chalo ab to tumhare pass bhi hatiyar hai ab dekhte hai kitni kaabiliyat hai tumme...

Bas uske baad kya tha hum dono mein talwar bazzi hui jisme hum dono hi barabri ke hue uske har waaar ka jawab mere paass tha aur mere waaron ka uske pass....

Dono bas aise hi ladte rahe....wo to thak bhi nahi raha tha par main thakne laga usse ladte ladte.....iss dauran ek baat to samajh mein aayi meri ki iss tarah kuch nahi hona hai koi aur tarika hai...par kya maine dimmag pe zor dala aur ek baat yaad aayi aur maine turant se uski di hui talwar nicche fenk di...

Wo mujhe dekh kar mushkurane laga...

Main wahi par khade khade apni aankhen bad karke talwar ko yaad karne laga...

Main- Ab kya main khass hu yaa wahi hu jo tum abhi banne hue ho yaani ki Saurya..

Talwar- Hmm kuch khass hue ho thoda hona baaki hai apni talwar to chod di ab meri bhi chudwa do fir main tumhara rahunga....

Itna bol wo daudha meri oor aur main bas khada raha kyunki mujhe pata lag chuka tha ki kya karna hai....

Wo bhagta hua aaya aur apni takwar se mujhpe war kiya main jhuk gaya usne wapas waar kiya nicche ki oor main side mein chala gaya....usne uss oor waar kiya main uske dusre side chala gaya...

Ye simple tha wo mere har ek move ka pata laga leta tha aur usko rook leta tha tabhi maine waar karna hi chod diya...main bas uss ek mauke ki talash mein tha ki kab ye wo waar kare aur main isko jhatka du....

Bas jyada intejar nahi karna pada usne wo waar kiya jiska mujhe intezar tha aur maine thik uske nichhe se hote hue ek punch uske gardan pe de maara jisse uske haath se uski talwar gir gayi...talwar ka girna tha wo light ke form mein chala gaya aur mere ander aa gaya...

Uska mere ander aana tha ki N.Mom mere saamne aa gayi..

Main- App aap yaha kaise...

N.mom- Madad karne aayi thi par ye talwar to bahut chalak tha mujhe pakad liya...accha ab ye chodo aur wapas chalo..

Main- Hmm main abhi portal kholta hu..

N.mom- ye portal se hum wapas nahi jaa sakte uss talwar ko bayar nikalo wahi hame wapas bhejega...

Maine N.mom ki baat maani aur talwar ko bulaya wo mere pass aaya aur maine usko wapas chalne ke liye kaha ....

Aaj ke liye itna hi kal ke update mein dekhiye Saurya ka jinlok ka safar saath hi Alex ki beti usko bahut kuch dikhlane wali hai wo bhi to banne rahiye...
Surya ko talwar prapt karne ke liye pheli chunoti me Alex ko kabu karna ushse apni sujh-bujh se jab vo bekabu ho jaye, jishme surya safal hua Aur dusri chunoti me talwar khud ladne aa gai surya ka rupe lekar v maddagar N.mom ko bhi apne kabu me kar liya adrishye rupe me ab ish chunoti me talwar ke hath se talwar girani thi jishme surya safal hua.Ant me dono chunotiyo ko paar karke Surya apni talwar prapt kat leta hai aur talwar se portal khol kar apne gantavye per pahunch jata hai. Bahut khubsurat update hai dost.
 
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