Thriller Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hai... (paused)

[SANJU ( V. R. )]

T

Thanks sanju ji❤...... Par koi baat nahi.. Aap sab ko itna pasand ayaa yahi bari baat hai. Log parkey lekhak ke barein mein kya sochtey hai yeh zaruri hai. Ap sab ke dil mein meri story Dosti ne chaap chora... Bus main jeet gaya.

Par just ek baat hai.. Maine judges ka review para mere story ke upar... Main chata hu aap sab bhi ekbar mere story ka judges review parkey dekhiye. Wahan mere story ke cons pe jo likha hai aapko kya lagta hai us barein mein... Kya woh puraa sahi hai? What u think?

Naina Ankitarani Moon Light and all

मैने किसी का भी नहीं पढ़ा है । आप कहते हो तो पढ़कर अपना भिव आप को मैसेज कर दूंगा ।

 

[ragish7357]

Congrats Ankita mam usc m 3rd winner price k liye

 

[Naina]

T

Thanks sanju ji❤...... Par koi baat nahi.. Aap sab ko itna pasand ayaa yahi bari baat hai. Log parkey lekhak ke barein mein kya sochtey hai yeh zaruri hai. Ap sab ke dil mein meri story Dosti ne chaap chora... Bus main jeet gaya.

Par just ek baat hai.. Maine judges ka review para mere story ke upar... Main chata hu aap sab bhi ekbar mere story ka judges review parkey dekhiye. Wahan mere story ke cons pe jo likha hai aapko kya lagta hai us barein mein... Kya woh puraa sahi hai? What u think?

Naina Ankitarani Moon Light and all

judges se meko koi matlab nahi.. wo stories ko lekar kya sochte hai ya kya nahi usse mujhe kya
Btw itna jaan lijiye ki...pehli baat meri nazar mein ju ki story(dosti) favorite stories ke list mein add ho chuki hai.. aur akhiri baat bhi yahin hai
favorite stories list.... us list mein jaha ved ji ke novels bhi add hai.. us list mein aapki story add huyi hai

 

[Ankitarani]

UPDATE 29


Pitamah-kon tha wo...jisne tumhe is sbse awgat kraya...
Rakshita-mai nhi jaanti pitamah...
Pitamah-kon ho sakta hai...jisne tumhe wo baate smjhayi jo hm nhi smjha ske...khair...
Pitamah-to us singni ne...tumahre hath se fal bhi khaya...
Ralshita-haa pitamah...mai satya bol rhi hu...
Pitamah-singh jo kbhi mans ke atirikt kuch nhi khate...wo fal khaye...ye bahut durlabh hai...

Rakahita-kintu mai satya kah rhi hu pitamah...
Pitamah-hm jaante hai ki tum asatya nhi bolti...or ye yoddha kon tha...kya tum ise jaanti ho...

Rakshita-nahi pitamah ..hm to bs yha fal lene aaye the...
Pitamah-rakshita putri....tum sadaiv sankat me kyu pdi rahti ho....sadaiv hi tumhari koi raksha kre...ye to sambhav nhi hai na....

Rakshita-kintu pitamah...mai akaran hi kisi sankat me nhi padti...ab dekhiye...is mrug ko un logo ne maar diya...iska kya dosh tha...kyu maara ise...
Pitamah-putri tum bahut bholi ho...kintu ye satya hai...hm isme paritavrtan nhi kar skte...ye sb karmo ka lekha jokha hota hai putri....ho sakta is mrug ke bhagya me aisi hi mrityu likho ho...

Rakahita-kintu pitamah...
Pitamah-tum ye kintu ,parantu bahut krti hu putri...hm to bs ye sochkr vichlit hai putri...ki tumhe sadaiv hi koi bchaye ye sambhav nhi hai...hme bhay hai ki...

Rakshita-pitamah....apse bda yodhha is samast sansar me koi nhi...yadi aisa hai to...ap mujhe apni shishya bna lijiye...ap mujhe dhanurvidya athwa anya vidhyao ka gyan deejiye...jisse mai swayam ki raksha kar saku...


Pitamah haste hue-tum bdi ho gyi ho...kintu tumhari baate ab bhi whi ho...ekdm natkhat....bhupad se jald hi is vishay me baat krege...ki tumhe kisi aise ko sonp de jo sadaiv hi tumhari raksha kr ske....ab ham chalte hai....

Rakshita or sbhi saheli -ji pitamah....

Pitamah apne ghode pr beth wha se chal dete hai...

Rakshita-arushi...pitamah me jo ant me kaha...mujhe uska tatparya samjh nhi aaya...
Arushi-wo tumhare vivah ki baat kr rhe the...hahaha...
Rakshita hairani se-acha...ye to vichitra baat hai...

Teeno saheliya fal lekar mandir me chali jaati hai...

Or jaate hi dekhti hai...ki wo kal wala ldka...fir se hath jode khada tha...
"Hey ishwar ..aaj to aap mujhe darshan de hi dijiye...mujhse wo nhi hoga ...na jane kaise vyakti...varsho tak nadi me khade hokar...athwa parvat pr bethkr apki tapasya kr lete hai...kya mai apka putra saman nhi..kripya mujhe daeshan de dijiye ishwar..."

Rakshita-are...ye to whi hai...jo pichhle divas aaya tha...abhi dekhti hu...rakshita uske pas chal deti hai...

"Hey ishwar...kripya mujhe darshan de dijiye...mai apni ankhe khol rha hu...kripya darshan dijiye ishwar...darshan dijiye...mai apni ankhe khol rha hu...khol rha hu...orrr ye kholi....."


Lekin ye kya ankhe kholte hi samne rakshita khadi thi...
"Are...tum aaj bhi aagyi..."wo ladka samne khadi hui rakshita ko dekhta hai...

Rakahita-are..mai to yhi rahti hu...tum yha aagye ho...or ek baat suno...ese ishwar ke darhshan nhi hote...tumhe kathor tap krna hi hoga...

"Achha...tumne kabhi kiya hai kathor tap..."
Rakshita-nhi...
"Kyuu...kya tumhe ishwar ke darshan nhi krne..."

Rakshita-nhi...kyuki mujhe to sbme ishwar ke darshan ho jaate hai...pitashree me...matashree me...bhishm pitamah me...wo dekho...us nanhe memne me...sbme ishwar ka waas hai...

"Tum baate to bahut achhi krte ho"
Rakshita-kya tum achhi baate nhi krte?

"Nhi...mai nhi krta"
Rakshita-mai achhi hu...islie achhi baate krti hu...
Pas me khada us ladke ka dost muh or hath rakhkr hasne lgta hai....or dhire se us ldke se fisfusata hai...
"Arthat tum achhe nhi ho...islie tum achhi baate nhi krte"

Wo apne dost ki trf ko ghoorkr dekhta hai...
"Achha thk hai...kintu ye sb to apratyaksh hai...mujhe to pratyaksh ishwar ke darshan krne hai..."

Rakshita-wo smbhav nhi hai.....kyuki tum kathor tap nhi kr skoge na...
Ladka muskurata hua-dekhna...mai bina kathor tap kiye ...ishwar ke darshan krke rahunga...
Rakahita-thik hai...prayas kro....ishwar kare tumhari manokaamna jald hi puri ho...

"Dhanyawad....wese tum isi gao se ho na.."
Rakshita-haa kintu...tum kyu puch rhe ho...
"Rakshita...putri yaha aana jara.."pandit ji rakshita ko bulate hue bolte hai...or rakshita wha chali jaati hai...

"Mitra...tum meri baat man jao...tumhe ishwar ke darshan nhi honge...uske lie kathor tap awashyak hai..."uska dost usko smjhata hua bolta hai...

"Kya maine tumse puchha..mai ishwar ke darshan awashya krke rahunga...."wo ladka apne dost ko bolta hai...or wha se chal deta hai...


Kuch samay bad...rakshita jb ghar jaati hai...
Mala-rakshita putri bhojan to samay se kr liya kro...pure din mandir me hi rahti ho..kya krti rahti ho wha...
Rakshita-mata...pahle to bolti thi ki ishwar ki sadhna me dhyan lgao...or ab bolti ho ki...

Mala-putri ...maine aise to nahi kaha tha ki sadaiv whi rho...kisi ki bhi ati achhi nhi hoti...

Rakshita-mata..pahle sunishchit krle ki ap chahti kya hai...mai ghar pr rhu...athwa ishwar ki sadhna me lipt rhu...
Chanda-mata...vakpatuta me bhala rakshita se koi vijay hua hai...

Rakshita-didi...ye ap meri prashansha kr rhi hai...athwa ...
Chada-are pranshamsha hi hai..tum krodhit mt hov....
Rakshita-bhala mai apni didi se kaise krodhit hone lgi...meri didi to smasast sansar ki sarvshreshta didi hai...

Chanda-bs bs...ab jhaad pr na chadhao...chalo...ab kam me thoda hath btao...

Rakshita-didi...apko pta hai mujhe mandir me kitna kaam hai...
Chandana-acha...ye to mai jantu hu...kya krte ho waise wha...
Rakshita-mai...wha sfai krti hu...ishwar ki puja krti hu...shardhaluo me prashad vitrit krti hu...orr

Chanda-bs bs...mai swayam kr lungi...tum bhojan krke jao......


is trh...rakshita ka jaada samay ab bs mandir me hi gujarta tha...usse chhote 2bchhe or the...uske bawjood bhi...rakshita ghr me sbki laadli rhi....islie use koi kuch nhi bolta tha...

Bs ghar pr to wo khana khane...ya sone hi aati thi...pura din mandir me bethi rahti thi...mandir kaafi bda tha...wha ped bahut jada lge the..bs whi rakshita bethi hu kuch na kuch krti rahti thi.....iska man bhi yhi lagta tha...ghr pr to jaise bor ho jati thi...pujan karya me sbse aage rahti thi...pandit ji to bs naam ke hi the...vastav me mandir ki sari dekhbhal rakshita hi karti thi...


Rakshita pitamah se milne ke bad bahut khush thi...halanki usne ghar nhi btaya kyuki...agr wo ghar btati to uski mata uspr krodh krti ...kyuki pitamah ne to use bchaya tha...usse pahle jo sankat aaya tha uspr mata krodh na kre...islie rakshita ne ghar me bhi nhi btaya...lekin apni sakhiyo ko sbko btaya...or bdi khush thi...

Rakshiita or arushi mandir me bethe baate kr rhe the...
Rakshita-arushi...yadi pitamah swayam mujhe shatra vidya sikha de...to kaisa hoga...
Arushi-to tum sansar me sbse shresht yodha bna jaogi....kintu aisa hoga nhi...
Rakshita-haa maii to bs soch rhi thi...

Ese hi idhar udhar ki baate or dinbhr ke kriyakalapo me din gujar jaata hai...
Rat ko khana khakar sb sone ki taiyari me the...
Mala-kya hua swami...ap kuch vichlit hai...
Bhuapd-haa...rajbhawan me bahut hi tanavpurn vatavaran rahta hai....

Rakshita-kyu pitashree....kya hua...waha to swayam pitamah hai...to wha koi tanav kaise rah sakta hai...
Bhupad-pitamah to apni prtigya se bandhe hai putri...wo bhala isme kya kr sakte hai...koi bahri sankat aaye...to kuch kre bhi...kintu ...wha to kutumb me hi yudh chhidne jaa rha hai...

Mala-kintu kya koi bhi prayas nhi kar rha hai...us mahayudh ko rokne ka...
Bhupad-pitamah...matatma vidur...guru dronacharya ,kulguru kripacharya...or shre shrishn bahut prayatn kr rhe hai...kintu...mahatvakansha...

Rakshita-pitahsree... Pitamah ki baat wha koi kyu nhi manta...pitamah to swayam ishwar tulya hai...
Bhupad-putri...tumhare lie hai...hmare liye hai...hme yha bethkar jaisa lgta hai...wesa hai nhi...pitamah ki baat yadi wha maani jaati...to ye samasya utpann hi na hoti...

Mala-kya is mahayudh ka...hmare jeevan yapan pr bhi prabhav pdega...
Bhupad-hmare hi nhi...smpuran bharatvarsh pr prabhav pdega...vasudev shree krishn ne aaj babut hi prayas kiya...orrr.

Bhupad fir unko wo sb btate hai...jb krishna ji sandhi prastav lekar aate hai.....
Pura sunne ke bad...
Rakshita-pitashree...ye vasudev krishna kon hai...
Bhupad-putri...wese to dwarka nagri ke raja hai...kintu kuch vidwan log unhe ishwar ke samtulya mante hai...swayam pitamah bhishm bhi...unhe pranam krte hai...

Rakshita hairani se-kya wo itne samman ke patra hai...maine to unhe kabhi nhi dekha.....
Bhupad-dekhe to honge...kintu tumhe yaad nhi...samvle se hai...hath me bansuri rakhte hai...or sr pr mayur pankh...
Rakshita yaad krti hai...us din ka vakya jb wo shawak ko chhodne gyi thi...

Rakshita-kya...wo vasurdev krishna hai...jb pitamah bhishm unhe samman ka patra smjhte hai...to awashya hi wo is yogya hai...
Rakshita sari ghatna yaad krti hai...jb shree krishna ki di hui bansuri ne...sudarshsm chakra bnakr use chaya tha...

"Haa...jaise bhagwan vishnu ka sudarsham chakra hota hai...wese hi chakra us din tha...arthat...kya wo vastav me ishwar hai..."rakshita sochne lgti hai...

Rakshita kuch sochkr-kintu pitashree...
Mala-rakshita...so jao...tum kuch baat hi nhi krne deti ho...chup so jao....
Rakshita muh sa bnakr chup let jaati hai...or sochne lgti hai sb bate...wo pareshan se us vakya ko soch sochkr....



2din bad....
"Hey ishwar...aj to darshan de hi do...chahe kuch bhi ho jaye...aaj to mai apke darshan kiye bina nhi jaunga...chahe mujhe yha sankdo divas bitane pd jaye.....mai bhuka rahuga ...pyasa rhunga...kintu aaj darshan krke hi jaunga...mai ankhe khol rha hu ishwar...kripya mujhe darsham de.....ye kholi mene ankhe...orrr...

Samne rakshita muh fulaye khade thi...
Ladka-are...jb bhi mai ishwar se prathna krta hu...tum kyu aajati ho...

Rakshita-tumhe mene bar bar amjhaya ki sihwar ke darshna aise nhi honge...kintu tum fir bhi roj yha akr ishwar ke darshan krne ki bolte ho...
"Ha mai darshan krke rahunga....kintu tum mere marg me badha bn jaati ho"

Rakshita -are...mai kaha badha bni...
"Kyuki hath mai ishwar ke samakhsh jodta hu...or samne tum aajati ho...murkh kanya kya chahti hu tum...ki mujhe ishwar ke darshan na ho..."

Rakshita-tumne mujhe murkh kaha ..mai tumhe mrityudand dilwa dungi...

"Achha dilwao...tum murkh thi...murkh ho...or sadaiv murkh rhogi..."

"Matashree...."rakshita mata ko yaad krke rone lgti hai...
"Are...isme vilap ki kya baat...hey kanya tum kyu vilaap kr rhi ho..."

Rakshita ki ankho se ansu nikal aate hai..
Arushi bhagi hui aati hai...or rakshita ko smbhalti hai...
Arushi-kyaa hua rakshita...tum vilap kyu kr rhi ho...kya hua...
Rakshita us ldke ki taraf ungli kakre-usne mujhe...mujhe murkh kaha....
Or rakshita fir rone lgti hai....

Arushi-ohhh...kon ho tum...kyu murkh kaha ise...
"Murkh ko murkh hi kaha jaata hai..."
"Dhadaaaaammm"
"Aaaaaa......"achank pichhe se us ladko ko kisi ne takkar maari...or wo ladka dur jaa gira...

Wo ladka jb uthakr dekhta hai...to wha memna khada tha...
"Mainnnn....mannn...mainnnn..."memna chillana shuru kr deta hai...

Arushi-rakshita chup ho jao...dekho tumahre mitra aagye...ab is yuvak ki khair nhi...

Memne ke chillane se or bhi memne or chhote kutte aajate hai......
Wo ladka dekhkar hairan rah jaata hai...
Uska dost-ye kya hai...ye sb....
Rakshita roti hui-mitra...isne mujhe murkh kaha....

"Maaainnnnnn...bhow bhow...mainnn...bhow bhow..."memne or kutte rakshita ke itne bolte hi us ladke ki taraf bhag lete hai....

Kmsekm 4 memne the or 5kutte(chhote wale)

Ladka dekhakr dar jaata hai.....
"Ishwar...bchao..."wo ladka bhag leta hai.....
Lekin ek memna aakar uske pichhwade pr ek takakr maarta hai...
"Aaaaa....maataaaaaaa.....bchaaaooo"
Pichhwada pakadkr bhaagta hai...lekin ek pilla uska kapde pakadr kheechne lagta hai...

Dusre pilla uske per me kaat leta hai...pagal sa ho jata hai wo ladka.....
Kbhi ek memne idhar se takkar marta to dusra udhar se...koi pilla kaat'ta...to koi kapde pakadlr kheechta...

Ladka buti trh preshaan ho jaata hai...
Wo jaise taise smbhta hai...
Or mandir ke samne hath jodkr-ishwar....
Itne me hi ek memna pta nhi kaha se aaya orr...
"Phatttt"us ldke ke muh pr laat maari...
Wo ladka muh pr hath rakhta hai..to memne ne ekdm uske pichhwade pr takkar maar di...
Pichhwade pr hath lgaya to kutte ne per me kaat liya...
Ldka pagal sa ho gya tha...
Or uska dost wo pata nhi kaha bhag gya tha...

Bachhe wha khade hokar use dekh dekhakar hasne lgte hai...

Wo ladka jaise taise smbhalkar girta pdta...memno ki laat khata hua rakshita ke paas aata hai...
Or hath jodkr-kripya inhe roke...mai chaama mangta hu...inhe roko...
Rakshita-ruk jao mitra...
Itna bolte hi sb pille or menne shant ho jaate hai...

Rakshkta jb uska huliya dekhti hai...to has pdti jai...
Uske chehre pr menne ki laaat ka nishan bn gya tha...or kapde jaha taha se fat chuke the...ekdm bhikari jaisa ho gya tha wo...

"Ye kya tumne ...maine tumhe sirf murkh kaha tha...or ye pashu....kon ho tum"
Rakshita-mai rakshita hu...or swayam bhishm piyamah ne mera nam rakha hai...
"Mujhe chhama krdo...mene tumhe murkh kaha.."itna bolkar wo ladka chal deta hai...

Arushali-are...tum to ro rhi thi na...
Rakshita-ha...kintu mere mitra ne jo uske sath kiya...ab achha lag rha hai....


Agle din.


Wo ladka fir se mandir me jata hai...is bar wo akela tha...uska dost sath me nhi tha...
Jb dekhta hai...to rakshita ek memne ke bchhe ko glaas se dudh pila rhi thi...or muskura rhi thi...

Ladka apne mn me-..acha...to ye rahasya hai...ki ye pashu iske rakshak bn gye...aaj to iski sachhi jaankar hi rahunga...

Wo ladka dhire dhire dabe pao andar ki or jaata hai...or rakshita ke thoda pas se...uske side me ek kone me khada ho jata hai...jise rakshita dekh na ske...

Rakshita to memne ka pet bharne me magan thi...
Tbhi dusra memna bhi rakshita ke paas aajata hai...
Rakshita usse pakadti hai...or dusre dudh ka katora uthakar use pilana lagti hai...or idhar udhar dekhne lgti hai..
Rakshita-jaldi piyo mitra...kisi ne dekh liya to anarth ho Jayega....

"Achha...mtlb koi to rahasya hai...ye kanya kuch to anuchit kr rhi hai..tabhi itna bhaybheet hai....abhi gyan ho jayega..."wo ladka sochta hua..achank bahar nikal aata hai...

Ladka-rakshita....
Rakshita jb najar uthakr dekhti hai...ekdm hairan ho jaati hai...
Rakshita-tum...tum...tum yha kya kr rhe ho...
Rakshita darti darti si bolti hai...

Ladka-maine sb sun liya hai..ab purn satya btao...anyatha mai sbko bta dunga...

Rakshita-kya...kya bta doge...
Ladka-yhi jo tum kr rhi hi...dekho rakshita...ye jo tum kar rhi ho uchit nhi kr rhi ho...

Hanalki us ldko ko puri baat nhi pta tha...lekin bs andhere me teer chal rha rha...

Rakshita rone jaise ho jaati hai...
Ladka-hey hey tum vilap mt krna...dekho...kl ka dard ab tkk hai mujhe...tum vilap krogi to tumhare ye mitra mujhe fir se maarenge...dekho...mai kisi ko nhi btaunga yadi tum mujhe purn satya bta do....

Rakshita-kya tum satya bol rhe ho...kisi ko nahi btaoge...
Ladka-ha...yadi tum mujhe purn satya btao ro
to...

Rakshita-mai yha mandir me ...bs in pashuo ke lie aati hu...
Ladka hairani se-arthaat...
Rakshita-mandir me jo bhog lgta hai..dudh chadhaya jaata hai...mai wo sb churakar...ya bcha hua...ya fir ishwar ke samne se uthakr uthakr...kaise bhi krke...in pashuo ko khilaati hu....

Ladka-lekin aisa kyu...ye to tum ghar par bhi kar sakti ho na...
Rakshita-kisi ghr pr itna bhojan pakta hai kya...hm bahut hi nirdhan hai...apne pet bhar jaye wo hi bahut hai....pashuo ka pet kese bherege...ishwar hme chalate hai...samast sansar ko chlate hai.....to kya apne bhojan ke lie wo kisi manushya pr nirbhar rhege...yha is mandir me log asharfiyaa,sona,chadhaate hai...in sbka ishwar kya krege...mai unhe churakar...unse bhojan khreedkar in pashho ko khilaati hu....

Ladka-kintu...chori karna to uchit nhi hai na...
Rakshita-haa janti hu...kintu uska dand mujhe milega...kintu abhi in pashuo ka pet to bhar jayega na...
Ladka-kintu un asharfiyo se tum...tumhari
nirdhanta bhi dur kar sakti ho...

Rakshita-nhi..mai ye soch bhi nahi sakti...wo to mera swarth ho jayega...mai bs in pashuo ke lie hi ye karti hu...jo bhojan yha aata hai...ya bchta hai...pandit ji ki krjo se bchakar mai in pashuo ko prtidin khilaati hu...

Ladka-tumhara ghar kaha hai...
Rakahita-yhi hai...kintu in pashuo ke lie bhojan ka prabandh ho jaye...islie mai apne ghr nhi jaati...or jada samay yhi vyateet krti hu...

Rakshita itna bolkar apni najar nichi kr leti hai...

Ladka-tum udas kyu ho gyi ho....
Rakshita-chori karna uchit nhi hai...mai janti hu...kintu iske atirikt mujhe koi vikalp dikhai nhi deta..hmare ghr ke pas ek din...ek chhota kutta bhuk se mr gya tha...usdin mujhe bahut peeda hui...mai kuch din bad mandir aayi to dekha yha bahut bhojan vyarth jaa rha hai.....us din mujhe aisa krne ka sujha....


Ladka muskurata hua-mujhe chhama krdo...kal maine tumhe murkh kaha...tum bahut achhi ho...or tumhare ye mitra bhi...
Rakshiya uski baat sunkar thoda sa smile ke deti hai...

Ladka-or ek baat btau...mujhe ishwar ke darshan ho gye....
Rakahita-kyaa...tum satya bol rhe ho...
Ladka-haa...mujhe ishwar ke darshan ho gye...
Raoshita-kintu bina kathor tap ke...ye kaise smbhav hai...

Ladka muskurta hua-ye tum nhi smjhogi....mai chalta hu......or ab to ishwar ke darshan mujhe roj honge....

Ladka chal deta hai....uske dimak me kuch chal rha tha...
"Ishwar ka kaam jeev jagat ka palan poshan hai...kisi ka uchit anuchit magr darshan krna hai...manushya to apna pet swayam bhar skte hai...kintu ye pashu...ye pashu nhi...parantu tum inko sahara de rhi ho...tum mahan ho rakshita..mujhe to ishwar tumhare andar hi dikhai deta hai....agar ishwar hai to wo asie hi honge...be sahara ko sahara dene wale...bejubaan ki peeda samjhne wale....rakshita akhir maine bina kathor tap ke iswar ke darshsn kr hi liye.....ha rakhita...tum jaise logo me hi sayi mayne me ishwar ka was hota hai...ISHWAR ME MUJHE TUM...OT TUMME MUJHE ISHWAR DIKHAI DETA HAI..."muskurata hau rakshita ke khyalo me khoya hua chala jaa rha tha wo...

Sote wakt...
"Hasti hui rakshita...do chutiya ki hui thi...jo dono kandho pr aage ki taraf latak rahi rhi ..sundar chehra...mathe pr ek chhoti si bindi...or hasti hui aisi lag rhi thi...jaise manao dunai ka sari khushiya yhi sma gyi ho......Or memne ko glass se dudh pilaati hui"kitni achhi lag rhi thi wo...schme rakshita...tum mahan ho...


"Yadi tum kathor tap kroge to hi tumhe ishwar ki prapti hogi...."
"Mai to yhi rahti hu...tum yha aate ho"
"Are...laddu to ishwar kha gye...islie aaj pushp ka prashad hai..."
"Isne mujhe murkh kaha"
"Mera nam rakshita hai...swayam pitamah bhishm ne mera nam rakha hai..."
"Manushya to apna pet swayam bhar lete hai...kintu ye pashu kaise bharnge..."
"Haa ye uchit nhi hai...uska dand muje milega...kintu abhi in pashuo ka pet to bharega...iske atirikt mere pas koi vikalp nhi"

Rakshita ke muh se nikli ek ek baat...rah rahkr yaad aarhi thi...or jaise jaise uski baate yaad aati...chehre pr khud b khud muskaan laut aati hai....
Na chahte hue bhi...uska masoom sa chehra bar bar ankho ke samme aajata tha...

"Uska naam kya tha......rakshita...rakshita...kitna achha nam hai..."wo ladka sone se pahle sochta hai...or so jaata hai....


Next update will come soon.

 

[Moon Light]

इस अपडेट की हर एक बात चुनी हुई सी लग रही मुझे...
हर एक शब्द में एक कहानी है... हर एक शब्द का पूर्ण अर्थ है
धन्य हो अंकिता इतनी सुंदर कहानी हम सभी के सम्मुख प्रस्तुत करने के लिए,

इस कहानी को अगर पब्लिश किया जाए तो पक्का ये बहुत ज्यादा आगे जाने वाली है

सार्थक जीवन जीने की प्रेरणा देती एक कहानी

 

[Baban]

judges se meko koi matlab nahi.. wo stories ko lekar kya sochte hai ya kya nahi usse mujhe kya
Btw itna jaan lijiye ki...pehli baat meri nazar mein ju ki story(dosti) favorite stories ke list mein add ho chuki hai.. aur akhiri baat bhi yahin hai
favorite stories list.... us list mein jaha ved ji ke novels bhi add hai.. us list mein aapki story add huyi hai

Bus....... Isse bari jeet kya hogi mere liye? Main winning ka bhookha nahi hoo ke jeeta nahi toh gusse se kuch bhi bolunga.... Lekin mere story ke cons ke upar judges ne jo review diya main agree nahi karta usse. Mera narration fail hai? Really? Ek dog ke nazariye se pura sach dikhaya fir bhi....... Agar yeh usc na hokar normal story bhi hota tab bhi main yahi bolta.

Aap yeh zarur bol sakte ho isse behetaar bahut stories hai.... Haa bilkul hai but judges ne jo points nikale hai unse main pura agree nahi karta.. Bus yahi Kehna tha.

Baaki main toh kab ka jeet gaya hu.... Aap sab ke nazar mein.... Aap sab kl meri DOSTI itni pasand aayi.. The biggest achievement for me

 

[Aakash.]

who is that boy, Is he Aakash? wants to see God, I would like to say on this, In a way, in our daily life we also get a direct indication of being God, whenever we start doing some bad things like stealing, cheating, cruelty etc. Only then does a fear, shame or doubt arise in us and when we help others and do auspicious things, the feeling of fearlessness, joy, contentment, and enthusiasm is all a direct sign of the existence of God.
Rakshita lives in her devotion and does not do housework, I would like to say on this, A person can continue to do good work with duty and intelligence even without love, but he cannot get the pleasure he gets from being in a loving mood, The real form of God love is to do whatever is possible to help others for goodness and perhaps that is what Rakshita is doing.
Why Rakshita crying, she is like a flower and the flower always blooms and looks beautiful and good. The beating of that boy was worth watching and the talk between the two was also very funny.
As always the update was great, You are writing very well, Now let's see what happens next, Till then waiting for the next part of the story.
Thank You...
​

 

[Naina]

Bus....... Isse bari jeet kya hogi mere liye? Main winning ka bhookha nahi hoo ke jeeta nahi toh gusse se kuch bhi bolunga.... Lekin mere story ke cons ke upar judges ne jo review diya main agree nahi karta usse. Mera narration fail hai? Really? Ek dog ke nazariye se pura sach dikhaya fir bhi....... Agar yeh usc na hokar normal story bhi hota tab bhi main yahi bolta.

Aap yeh zarur bol sakte ho isse behetaar bahut stories hai.... Haa bilkul hai but judges ne jo points nikale hai unse main pura agree nahi karta.. Bus yahi Kehna tha.

Baaki main toh kab ka jeet gaya hu.... Aap sab ke nazar mein.... Aap sab kl meri DOSTI itni pasand aayi.. The biggest achievement for me

Koi na.. ye to kahani ghar ghar ki hai matlab story, story ki forum, forum ki hai
next time phir se try kijiye... jeet aapki hi hogi kyunki darr ke aage jeet hai

 

[Naina]

Bus....... Isse bari jeet kya hogi mere liye? Main winning ka bhookha nahi hoo ke jeeta nahi toh gusse se kuch bhi bolunga.... Lekin mere story ke cons ke upar judges ne jo review diya main agree nahi karta usse. Mera narration fail hai? Really? Ek dog ke nazariye se pura sach dikhaya fir bhi....... Agar yeh usc na hokar normal story bhi hota tab bhi main yahi bolta.

Aap yeh zarur bol sakte ho isse behetaar bahut stories hai.... Haa bilkul hai but judges ne jo points nikale hai unse main pura agree nahi karta.. Bus yahi Kehna tha.

Baaki main toh kab ka jeet gaya hu.... Aap sab ke nazar mein.... Aap sab kl meri DOSTI itni pasand aayi.. The biggest achievement for me

Btw I blame dhongi mohini

 

[Naina]

Super se upar har ek pehlu, har ek mod.. Aur sath hi kirdaaro ki bhumika bhi... mowgli flashback ho ya present mein.. wo hamesha se great thi, hai aur rahengi...
Update totally amazing.. bole to

Let's see what happens next
Brilliant update with awesome writing skills ankita ma'am