Update-91(Chaos)
Humlog Gaadi Mein baithtey orr gaye hostel ki side.. Mereko Iss Warden ki kai complaints mill chuki thi mainly Shubam se uske alaawa main kaafi kuch sun chuka tha iske baare Mein but Pehle i didn't give a fuck lekin aaj ek toh mood kharaab tha Uppar se ussne he bakchodi ki inke sath naa naa.. Gand toh todunga he.. Hostel pass Mein he tha Gaadi bahaar rouki maine.. Uttare humlog gate par guard tha jo chill banda hai ussne aane diya andar Humein. Wahaan se humlog Warden k office ki side aae andar aae toh bhenchod Andar warden baitha tha or uske Saamne Abhi gang khaddi thi or usse blood donation camp k baare Mein samjhaa rahi thi.. Anaa takk wahaan thi.. Bhen k lund yelog ki gand Mein chull rehti he hai. Fuck bhenchod.. Lekin kya karein ab karna tha toh karna tha.. Warden ek 27-28 ki age kaa banda tha jo apni chair par baitha tha ussne Humein dekha nahi as usko Abhi gang ne gherr k rakha tha..
Abhi-So sir aap ye placard hostel Mein distribute karwaadena dinner k time that'll be really helpful..
Warden-Sure sure hojaaega hojaaega..
Main-Hello Warden sir..
Ye sun sablog ne mujhe dekha or warden ko idea lag gaya ki kuch acha toh nahi hoga uske sath..
Warden-A. A. A. AP....
Main-Oh sorry you guys can continue main toh bus hostel ghumne aaya tha.. Nice room you got here warden sir..
Warden-W. W. Wwwwlh..woh..
Main-Koi naa apne aap tour lelunga main aap continue kijiye.. Ashish samjhaadey sab camp k baare Mein..
Ye bol main uske room Mein chakkar kaatne laga. 2 wooden cabinets they uske room mein jo deewar Mein bane they.. Main Pehle cabinet k pass aaya usko kholne laga toh Warden khadda hone laga..
Main-Don't don't.. Just don't.. Sit back down..
Woh aadha utha hua wapis baith gaya.. Abhi gang confuse bc ki kya scene hai..
Maine woh cabinet khola toh uske andar thi daru ki bottles.. Bahot Saari I know ye sell karta hai bar ki tarah glasses Mein.. I know everything main college Mein ye sab par Dhyaan nahi deta but sunta sab hun main..
Main-Oh hello There.. Look at this..
Warden-W. W. Ww. W. Oh yee yee ye students ki hain jo maine jabbt.. Jabb jabbt ki hain..
Main - Maine pucha terese kuch?? Mereko pata hai kiski hain kyun hai..
Main agle cabinet k pass aaya uski kundi kholi and then usko khola toh bam.. Ussme thi cigarette k packets bahot Saare literally 100+ ...ye bhi sell karta hai i know i know..
Main-Oh Wow..
Maine cigarettes k packets uthaae or piche uski table par fainkney laga.. Ab Abhi gang samjh gayi ki kya scene chal raha hai..
Main-Interesting..
Ab main aaya uski choti c almiraah k pass jo just uske piche thi.. Woh kholi maine toh usme kuch files thi bus maine hath maarke dekha toh piche se khokhla tha woh maine phone ki light maari andar toh bc uske andar he ek chota saa cabinet tha..
Main-Interesting..
Ward-W. W. W. Woh confidential files hain usme ss students nahi dekh shaktey rusticate hojaaoge..
Main - Really??
Main nahi rukka toh woh khadda hone laga mujhe roukkane k liye lekin ultaa maine diya usko raipta aisa raipta ki woh khadda hone se Pehle he waapis baith gaya chair k Uppar pura room gunja aisa raipta Anaa wagaairaah ne toh apne munh par hath rakh liye bc..
Main-Shut the fuck up and sit here..
Warden-W. Warden par hath uthaaya tumne I'll.. I'll rusticate you.
Main-Hmm technically speaking tum warden nahi rahe abhi 10 minute Pehle tumhe suspend kardiya gaya hai.. Letter aatey-2 time lagega..
Main-Arrey Shubam Iske pass aake khadda ho toh bhaage naa ye..
Maine woh cabinet khola or torch maari uske andar toh bc ye milla khajaana uske andar condoms packs they kaafi Saare woh bhi or uske alaawa ek polythene kaa kaagaj tha maine sab nikaalke wahaan table par fainke or then woh polythene uthaaya or nikaaltey he mehak aagayi mujhe ye thaa Gaanja.. Uske alaawa 3 bharri hui cigarettes..
Main-oh i fucking love it..
Warden safedd hogaya..
Main - Lagta hai tere letter k sath sath police bhi aaegi.. Interesting..
Maine sab samaan rakha table k Uppar Abhi wagaairaah sab aankhein faade dekhe usko..
Main - Inke placards dede waapis.. Dedey.. Le re Ashish..
Warden-wwwoh..
Main-Bol Matt.. Sun.. Jinke ghar kaanch k hotey haina woh dusron k gharon par pathar nahi fainktey.. Samjha.. Hostel chala raha hai yaa kotha?? Daru and cigarettes Chal its ok ye toh waise bhi le he lenge woh.. Lekin?? Condoms?? Drugs?? Tere Baap kaa hostel hai kya be. Bc kuch toh saram karleta bhai.. Really?? Condom?? What. Gaanja?? Why..
Shubam - Iski permission se prostitutes takk leke aatey hain students yahan par bhai.. Woh second hostel waale harr baar k 500 se kam nahi leta.. Or Woh BCom waale bol rahe they full bharri cigarette deta hai khud bharke..
Main-Nice.. Toh aapka hissab kar detey hain jarra.. Abhi tumlog wait karo toh bahaar.. 2 minutes Mein bhejta isko..
Abhi gang turant nikal gayi wahaan se or andar bache main Sam or Shubam.. Gate bandh kiya woh bhaagne ko utha lekin maine di laat usko saala kursi samett he piche Jaa girra..
Main-Tum dekhlo main bahaar hun tumhaari babhi naraaj hojaaegi warna.. Munh par Matt maarna nishaan nahi caahiye..
Sam-Got you boss..
Main bahaar aaya gate waapis bandh kiya.. Bahaar Abhi wagaairaah khaddey they Ravi or Rohit bhi they..
Rohit-Abe jyaada naa maardey woh.. SAM triggered tha..
Main-Naa boldiya maine.. Abe Rohit tereko yaad hai ek banda hota tha lamba saa patla saa 40-42 age thi Abe jab hum 10th Mein they or tere pass aatey they college Mein, Jo Laxman ko lachman bolta tha or Ravi ko Lavi..
Ravi-kon jagdish tau??
Rohit-Haan jagdish..
Main-Haan Haan Haan.. Jagdish. Woh konsi branch Mein Hai ab??
Ashish - Acadmics Mein Hai, Clerk hai ab woh..
Main-Abe usko banaadein warden..
Rohit - idea burra nahi hai clerk se toh jyaada he sallery hai or chill banda hai..
Ravi-Bhaari chill.. Sabko set kardega woh..
Ashish-Strict bhi hai or chill bhi. Hitler nahi banega woh..
Abhi-True..
Main-Tu Rajendra uncle se Baat karlena kal..
Rohit -Maine aaj kand kiya uske Baad meri naa sunenge uncle kuch din ab.. Tu karlena..
Main-OK.. Ok..
Rohit-Abhi dekhna bcom or BSc waale Shubam k naam se roenge unka khass tha ye.. Iski Shubam se kabhi nahi bani bc.. Shubam bechara sudhar gaya tha iske aane k Baad..
Main-Ab Shubam sudhaar raha hai usko..
Andar se Warden k Rone ki awaaj aarahi thi bc..
Maine gate khola..
Main-Bus re Bus.. Oye Sam... Bc bus.. Buss... Buss.. Abe rukk..
Sam rukka or woh Warden randi rona karta hua bahaar bhaaga aaya..
Main-Haanji sir.. Lambe se jail Mein bhej deta tujhe but mood nahi hai gayab hojaa dikh naa jaaiyo kabhi aas pass bhi nahi..
Warden-Tthba..
Main-Bhaag ab..
Ye bol humlog bhi nikale wahaan se.. Abhi gang bhi Humaare sath he bahaar aai..
Shubam-Woh bhai lage hath in bcom or BSc waalon kaa bhi kuch kardo..
Abhi-Yeah bahot jyaada kar rahe hain woh log aajkal hostel Mein Bhi or college mein bhi..
Main-Karne do time aaega unka bhi abhi nahi..
Ab issue ye tha ki maine literally kal se kuch dhang kaa nahi khaaya tha or abhi mujhe bhook lag rahi thi bc..
Abhi - Ye sahi kiya tumne..
Main-Job Tumhaari thi ye by the way tumlog and Shubam tumlog waise toh college k politicians bane firtey ho or issues solve nahi kartey..
Rohit-Inko darr lagta hai bc rusticate naa hojaaein warden se panga leke..
Main-Aisa hai kya??
Abhi-I mean Haan kind of ab new rules k according Hostel warden hostel se bahaar waale students ko bhi temporarily yaa permanently bhi suspend kar shakta hai..
Main-Aise darroge toh kaam kaise chalega listen jabtak humlog hain tabtak bina koi reason toh rusticate nahi hone dunga tumhe don't worry.
Ashish-We know..
Main-OK.. Take care then.. Shubam tu chal be sath..
Shubam-OK bhai..
Humlog Gaadi Mein baithtey..
Main-Bye guys.. Take care..
Sab-Bye..
Humlog nikale shyaam hogayi thi bc or ab milli thi total fursat.. Ab suru hui tayaari.. 6 baj chuke they..
Main-Chicken letey hain bc daru k sath bhook bahot lagi hai.. Almost 2 din hogaye khaana khaae.. Kal lunch k Baad se yahi scene hai..
Rohit-Chicken toh fir Pinta se he lenge.
Main-Agree..
Ravi-Veg Mein Bhi Kuch letey hain be. Mattar paneer?? Yaa Saahi??
Main-True..Ye Kahaan se lein?? JK se??
Rohit-Abe Pinta or JK Kitana durr hojaaega dono he..
Main-it's ok abhi time hai aaram se set hoke tassali se peeyenge..
Rohit-Fir theek..
Ab humlog ko city k 2 alag alag corners par Jaana tha time lagne waala tha lekin proper preparation jaruri thi.. Ab 9 baje takk Humne sab kaam kar liye they.. Pinta ki shop par khaata chalta hai apna or JK k Yahaan online pay kardiya tha sab samaan leke ready they hum.. I know itana masala subah gand maarne waala tha meri but still i am down.. I don't mind..
Or ab koi room woom par nahi Jaane waale they humlog bc Gaadi best hai aaram se city se nikalke humlog ek side aagaye Jahaan khaali jagah paddi thi bc.. Gaadi side Mein park ki mirrors down kiye music system on kiya slow slow saa.. Seats wagaairaah set ki.. Mast meethi meethi hawa chal rahi thi.. Ab baja mera phone jo bhai kaa tha bhai kaa phone uthaana jaruri hai maybe kaam ho koi..
Main-Ji bhai.
Deva-Theek ho tumlog?
Main-Haan.
Deva-Ghar aaoge abhi??
Main - Naa subah maybe.
Deva-OK.. Le teri babhi Baat karegi ek baar..
Main-Naa baadmein..
Deva - OK.. Dhyaan rakhana jyaada kuch nahi karna.. Woh warden kaa bataaya Rajan ne mujhe jaruri tha kya woh? Aise he raiptey maardeta 2..
Main-kasam se raiptey he maare they woh bhi Sam ne jyaada kuch naa kiya.. Even gaanja or condoms leke baitha tha bhai..
Deva-Hostel Mein?? Really..
Main-Wahi toh..
Deva-Fir toh rakh dene they..
Main-Arrey rakh diye bhai badhiya service kardi thi..
Deva-Abhi bola tu keval raiptey he maare..
Main-Woh toh aapko manaaney k liye ab aapko koi issue nahi hai toh bataa diya..
Deva-Issue hai mujhe Rajender ne bataa diya tha kya kya milla hai ye bus tujhse ugalwaane k liye he bola tha maine..
Bhenchod chutiya hun main.. Bhai is too smart..
Main-Ahem ahem.. Ok ab rakhta hun bhai..
Piche se babhi ki awaaj aai..
Babhi-Main munh fodungi AP I swear to God ghar aajaana..
Main-Shubah .
Call disconnected..
Bus ab sabko inform kardiya ab aaram se peenekaa..
9.30 baje muhurat kiya Humne or bc quality Sharaab kaa ek faayda hai peene kaa alag he Maja hai.. Humlog peetey rahe khaatey rahe bakchodi kartey rahe niche uttarke mutt k wapis firr peetey rahe.. Shubam or Sam ki ulti girri thankfully Gaadi Mein naa ki unhone niche uttarke ki.. Then fir or pee Humne.. Pata nahi kya he baatein chal rahi thi mujhe khud yaad nahi.. Bahot jyaada time Baad itana nasha hua tha daru se mereko.. Bhenchod bahot he jyaada pee chuke they hum..
Subah meri aankh khulli bhayaanak sir Dard k sath Rohit ne jagaya mujhe.. .. Or maine khudko bhenchod back seat par paaya Gaadi k and Rohit or Shubam bhi mere sath they.. Ravi aage tha or bhenchod Sam driver seat par tha.. What the fuck.. Sablog ko shayad Rohit ne abhi jagaya tha kyunki sab apne sirr pakkadey baithtey they... Or gajab Baat ye ki Gaadi k airbags popped they.. What the fuck happened..
Rohit-Bhosdko niche uttaro Gaadi se.. Be.. Hain Kahaan hum.. Raat ko toh Yahaan nahi they..
Ab maine dekha ki bc sachmuch humlog wahaan nahi they Jahaan raatko they.. They hum khaali ground Mein he but ye jagah raat waali nahi thi boss.. Main uttara Gaadi se toh bhenchod mera right shoulder bahot jyaada Dard kar raha tha.. Fuck..
Main-Arrey maadarchod.. Bhenchod..
Mere munh se nikala ye Gaadi ki haalat dekh k.. Gaadi kaa bonut tutta hua tha side mirrors gayab they even back windshield bhi tutti thi.. Gaadi k 4on taraf saikdon scratches they..
Main-Bhenchod.. Ye kya hai..
Ravi- Abe thok diya tha kya kissi ko??
Main-Naa be banda nahi tree tha ye dekh green laga hai paid kaa.. Lekin side Mein Kya hua bc.. Kab hua kaise or kon chala raha tha.. Kyunki 100% main toh nahi chala raha tha.. Or bhenchod hum hille kyun jab hum wahin sone waale they toh..
Sam-Bhai bhagwan kasam mujhe ghanta kuch yaad nahi hai..
Ravi-Last cheej mujhe yaad hai woh hai Sam ne jidd ki thi Ice-cream khaane ki.. AP ne mana kiya toh bola woh khud chala lega.. Humlog nikale they wahaan se..bus aage blank hai sab..
Rohit-oh Haan icecream se yaad aaya Humari fight bhi hui thi be..
Main - No way.. Bhenchod sachi??
Rohit-Tu Tu main main physical nahi hui jyaada.. SAM gandu ne kissi ko icecream faink k maari thi wahaan shop par..
Sam-Ice-cream nahi be phone maara tha faink k maine Pehle toh..Or Main phone uthaata tabtak Ravi ne apna icecream cup he de maara uske munh par..
Main-Abe Haan bhenchod.. Haan.. Uska phone bhi foda tha maine haina??
Rohit - No idea..
Shubam-Haan recording kar raha tha shayad woh.. Haina??
Ravi-Haan Haan Haan.. Bc jisko maara uska sathi record kar raha tha tune laat maari usko or mobile fodd diya uska..
Main-Bhenchod..
Shubam-Gaadi Sam ne thoki thi woh RG chownk par police barricades k bich se nikaal di thi side waale mirrors ussi Mein gaye they maine uthaake piche Trunk Mein daal diye they..
Main-or ye paid Kahaan tha? Front kaise thukka..
Sam-Ye piche yahin kahin tha itana yaad hai mujhe.. Tum sab so rahe they bc.. Main side Mein lagaa raha tha tab thok di.. Or thoda aage laake Yahaan side lagaadi..
Main-Kissi aadmi ko toh nahi thoka naa?? Kyunki maine bahot jyaada Lee thi bahot jyaada or mujhe Lund yaad nahi hai kuch..
Sam-Naa naa.. Tabtak maine utani nahi pee thi.. Tu bhosdk hum 4on ki total se bhi jyada pee gaya tha.. Bottle ko he thobda lagaake bonut k Uppar baithke Anaa ko call kar raha tha tu..
Main-Bhenchod maine Anaa ko call kiya?? Peeke?? Naa.. No way..
Oh hell no bhenchod ye toh gand Marr gayi..
Continued...