Update-132(New Home)
Ab Chang free hua almost 3 ghante Baad raat k 8. 30 baje ussne Kahaa ki sab kuch hogaya jo achi Baat thi uske pass adress bheja maine uss park kaa and then 15 minutes Mein Woh wahaan aagaya..
Main-Pehle toh bol kuch khaaega??
Chang-Ab kya kaam hai Yaar??
Main-Mast kaam hai sun Humne ghar dekh liya ek bada he mast hai or sab details pata karli but ek issue hai Uncle retired Fouji hai so I know bina documents koi andar Jaane nahi dega..
Chang - Toh kya hua fake ids jindabaad hain..Mere pass kai photocopies hain fake id's ki..
Main-Original hai koi??
Chang-Nahi.. Original High Command waalon k pass Chhod aaya..
Main-So then plan mera chalega.. Sun.. Tujhe karna kya hai.. Bollywood movies dekhta hai??
Chang-Naa..
Main-Koi naa toh humein sympathy gain karni hai unki.. Kahani sunaani hai unhe ki humara samaan train Mein chori hogaya jisme humari ids or paise they ab Humaare bank account Mein Kuch paise they jo online transaction se nikaal liye Humne but ids nahi hain..Photocopy hain ids ki..
Chang-Movies Mein he chalta hoga ye Yahaan koi raipta maardega..
Main-I know aise nahi chalega issi liye tu kaam aaega..
Chang - OK kya karun ab?? Uss Aunty ko set karun??
Main-Arrey Waah tujhe kaise pata chala??
Chang- What the fuck. Main majaak kar raha tha.. Fuck no what the fuck ye main nahi karunga main bus stand par sojaaunga..
Main-Chup be main bhi majaak kar raha tha..
Chang-Thankyoh.. Toh karna kya hai..
Main - Abe woh rahi Aunty.. Sun live action karna hai tujhe bc.. Dekh woh Uncle safed kurtey Mein Woh Fouji hai or woh Aunty uski wife.. Dono apne ghar k bahaar tehal rahe hain ab tujhe karna ye hai ki woh dekh raha hai Aunty k kaan k uppar phone maine dekha tha din Mein I Phone hai.. Toh tu Jaa Bhaag phone cheen le or Bhaag ab main or Ami idhar se aayenge tereko raipatt maarenge and terese phone cheen lenge and then tu Bhaag Jaana.. Aunty ko denge phone and aage kaa main Dekhlunga..
Chang- Ye ho kya gaya hai tumhe?? Kya chutiyapa macha rahe ho.. Kya planning hai ye? Ek din Mein saikdon logon ko thokne ki planning karte they tum or ye kya hai?? Tatti.. Itane loopholes.. Ab mujhe bhi toh sath rehna hai toh main phone cheenlunga toh mujhe dekh nahi lenge woh..
Main - Abe munh dhaklena ye le mera rumaal.. Andhera dekh udhar street light 50 meter durr hai unse.. Ghanta dikhega.. And then waapis aaye tab ye tere bag se kapdey badal lena Yahaan paid k piche..
Chang - OK.. Then woh retired Fouji hai gand fodne laga toh..
Main-Abe nahi ab bimaar rehta hai woh maine sab pata kiya hai isiliye sab uski wife dekhti hai..
Chang - OK then agar koi gun hui toh??
Main-Bhosdk fir Marr jaaiyo tu waise bhi ye sawaal karta raha toh main maardunga.. Jaldi se Jaa wohlog andar chale gaye toh plan chopat hojaaega..
Chang - Ye plan flop hoga pakka..
Main-Tu apna part kar bhai Baaki main Dekhlunga.. Negative piece of shit.. Ye tera bag yahin paid k piche rakhdey..
Chang - OK here goes nothing..
Main-Or sun fake ids kiss Naam se hai tere pass??
Chang - Mere mobile Mein he hain.. Ankur Naam se hai ek..
Main-Bus toh fir tu Ankur hai..
Chang-Nice..
Chang me mera rumaal munh par baandha and then Jaane laga..
Ami-Boss i must say bahot ghatiya plan hai..
Main-Chup re.
Ami-What if woh pehchaan gaye tumhe??
Main-Hell no itana bhi popular nahi hua hun main.. Or by chance pehchaan bhi gaye toh fir dekhenge kon Pehle waapis bhaagega..
Ye sun Ami hansi..
Ab main or Ami aagaye main galli Mein or Humse kaafi aage Chang un dono k pass se nikala galli Mein Ek aadh uncle aunty or bhi they but koi jawaan nahi tha.. So plan sahi tha.. Ab Chang waapis mudda uss Aunty ne phone cut kiya he tha ki Chang uske pass se nikala or phone jhapta hath se.. Aunty kuch samjh paati usase Pehle toh chang Bhaag liya ab Aunty chilaae woh Fouji uske piche bhi bhaaga but itana pace nahi tha uncle k pass..
"Chorr Chorr Chorr.... Ab maine kandhe par Ami kaa bag taanga or aise chalne laga maano mujhe toh kuch pata he nahi hai.. And then jaise he Chang mere pass aaya maine usko maara dhakka and then mera bag fainka or usko pakkad liya..
Main-Bhosdk phone toh Chhod..
Chang ne phone Chhod diya maine liya phone or usko pakkade rakha..
Main-Ab sun ek mast saa punch rakh dey munh par i know pure din se frustration toh hai he tere andar.. Or Bhaag j...
Chang ne Baat puri honey se Pehle he maara mere munh par solid punch real solid.. Like main piche Jaake girra or Chang bhaaga wahaan se uske piche kuch ladke bhaage like 18-19 age waale ladke jo side Mein badminton khel rahe they.. But ab naa milega woh.. Mere munh se literally khoon behne laga tha maine khoon thukka.. Fuck you Chang.. Woh Fouji or woh Aunty sabse Pehle aae mere pass..
Aunty-Tum Theek Toh Ho beta..
Or jaise he uss Aunty ne apne phone se Pehle mera haal pucha main samjh gaya ye log badhiya hain.. Uncle ne mujhe hath deke uthaaya..
Aunty-Suno jarra first aid kit le aana..
Main-Arrey nahi Aunty ji main theek hun its ok. Koi Baat nahi.. Chinta matt kijiye aap.. Yelijiye phone..
Uncle-Arrey bhai khoon aaraha hai munh se.. Aao idhar aao..
Ab Baaki ek uncle aunty or aagaye.. Woh Fouji mujhe apne ghar k bahaar legaya or bahaar lage bench par bithaaya uski wife Paani ka glass leke aai..
Fouji-Ye peeyo beta kuch thook dena..
Main-Ji dhanywaad..
Ami-Theek ho tum?? Jyaada toh nahi lagi..
Main-Naa naa I am ok..
Aunty-Kiddey paddey kameene ko Suno ji Aajkal ye sab apne area Mein bahot jyaada horaha hai police ko complaint karni he padegi..
Fouji-Haan..
Aunty-Bechaare ko maara bhi..
Uncle2-Bada he bahaduri waala kaam kiya beta tumne toh.. Yahaan k toh nahi lagtey??
Main-Nahi uncle ji main Bhopal se hun ye hai meri behen Ami..
Ami-Ji namastey..
Uncle2-Namastey beta.. Yahaan kisske Yahaan par aae ho beta.??
Main-Kissi k Yahaan nahi ucnle..
Uncle2-Acha.. Fir Yahaan kaise..
Main-Puchiye matt uncle ji jo aunty k sath hua abhi waisa he kuch Humaare sath hua lekin wahaan hum apna samaan bacha nahi paae..
Uncle2 - Matlab beta??
Main-Uncle aaj subah nikale they bhopal se by train raaste Mein humara bag chori hogaya uncle humara sab ussi Mein tha..
Uncle2-Oho ho... Kya Hoga Iss Desh kaa.. Lo bhalla..
Main-Ji mera bada bhai hai ek usko noukari milli hai Yahaan or meri job bhi yahin Roorkee Mein lagne waali hai toh hum teeno yahin shift hone k liye aarahe they uncle.. Sab legaye..
Aunty -Naash paddey un kameeno kaa.. Lekin tumhara bhai Kahaan hai beta.. Mera Matlab theek toh hai??
Main-Ji woh police station Mein he hain report wagairaah k liye..Lekin wahaan se koi help nahi mill rahi..
Aunty-Ye aadhe police waale mille hotey hain isme beta..
Uncle - Toh tum beta Yahaan kaise??
Main- woh piche uncle ek ghar dekh rahe they Rehney k liye toh unhone kaha ki subah aayenge makaan maalik ab raat bharr bahaar toh nahi reh saktey naa uncle behen hai sathmein.
Aunty-Haan beta theek Keh rahe ho.. Mahool Kahaan hai Aajkal..
Main-Ji toh wahaan bataaya yayaan bhi kuch ghar hain kiraaye par.. Toh idhar aarahe they..
Aunty - Kiraaye par chaahiye beta??
Main-Ji..
Aunty-Kaisa ghar dekh rahe ho..
Main - Kaisa bhi ho aunty ji bus hum 3 k liye..
Uncle-Ye darshall beta piche ye jo ghar dekh rahe ho ye humara ghar hai jo Kiraaye k liye dena hai Humein.. Lekin abhi andar walls par paint nahi hua hai darshall pichle kiraayedaar jo they woh badmash they beta kuch kuch draw kardiya hai deewaron par toh agar ek do din rukk saktey ho toh ye dekhlena..
Main-Ye piche waala uncle..?? Red door..
Uncle - Ji ji..
Main-Arrey ye toh sahi hai uncle ji.. Deewar wagairaah se Humein koi dikkat nahi hai jab aapko theek lage tab karwaa lena..
Aunty-Beta bahot he ashleel kaam kar rakha hai.. Bitiya hai Tumhaare sath acha nahi lagta aise..
Main-Aunty raat bharr bahaar Rehne se kahin acha hai.. Or ye samajhdaar hai..
Ami-Ji aunty Humein koi issue nahi hai.. Raat bharr sadkon par nikalne se laakh times acha hai..
Aunty - Baat toh theek hai beta aapki.. Aao fir dekho aap..
Main-Arrey aunty dekh he kiya bilkul sahi hai..
Aunty - Fir bhi beta aao andar se toh dekho.. Aao..
Uncle- Haan bhai aao aao..
Main utha or un dono k sath chal padda Ami apni hansi roukkey thi.. Ye Yahaan maine prove kardiya ki sareef logon ko chutiya banana Kitana ashaan hai..
Uncle ne apne ghar se chaabi laake gate khola Uska toh ghar kaafi sahi tha bc space bhi theek tha. 3 rooms ek bathroom washroom and kitchen hall bhi tha chota sa. Lekin aage jaise light on hui toh bc rooms ki walls par Lund kahin chut bana rakhe they uske alawa galiyan wagairaah likhi thi.. Dafukk..
Uncle-Kuch badtameez students they beta bus pucho matt jeena haraam kardiya tha..
Main-Ji ji.. Koi dikkat nahi uncle ghar toh badhiya he hai lekin Humein makaan maalik ache chaahiye they kyunki behen bhi hai sath Mein toh aap samjh he rahe ho..
Uncle-Bilkul bilkul..
Main - or aaplog bahot ache lage mujhe.. Humein ghar pasand hai Aunty..
Aunty-Chalo acha hai beta..
Main-Rent wagairaah aunty ji..
Aunty-Rent toh aisa hai beta isase Pehle waale jo they woh 16000 per month detey they tumlog ache log ho tumlog 12000 dedena.. Or 12000 advance lekin mereko pata hai aapke sath kya hua toh aap thode din Baad doge toh bhi theek hai..
Main-Arrey nahi aunty.. Paise hain humare pass online banking kaa jaadu hai aunty mobile se nikalwaaliye they..
Uncle-Arrey toh beta woh kissi or kaam aajaenge Humein toh baadmein dedena..
Main-Nahi uncle hisaab toh hissab he hota itane ache log ho aap.. Ye lijiye 24000..
Aunty-Arrey bus kiraaya dedo beta advance baadmein dedena rakho tumlog rakho.. Jarurat padegi.. Or Haan Khaana beta agar khud banaaoge toh kitchen ye raha or agar cook nahi karna toh apne bagal Mein Jo ghar hain woh ek tiffin services chalaatey hain toh unse Khaana mangwaalena.. Bade ache log hain..
Main-Ji..
Aunty-Or Haan beta id wagairaah kuch??
Main-Woh toh nahi hain aunty ji i mean original toh gayi he.. Photocopy jarur hain..
Aunty-Bus woh kaafi hai beta..
Main-Woh mere bhai k pass hai usko address bhejdeta hun main woh aajaega fir dedunga aunty ji..
Aunty-Koi ni subah dedena beta.. Aaaj kaa khana humari taraf se hai thodi derr Mein bhejti hun..
Main-Ji..
Aunty-Main dinner kar he rahi hun taiyar..
Ye bolke Aunty chali gayi wahaan se..
Main-Thank-you so much uncle..
Uncle-Don't worry beta. Take care.. Koi dikkat ho toh bataana.
Main-Ji..ek baar firse bahot bahot dhanywaad uncle kon karta hai Aajkal itan..
Uncle-Beta ekdusare ki madad karne se he humlog aage badh shaktey hain tumne humari help ki Humne Tumhaari..
Main-Ji..
Ye bol unhone mere kandhe par hath rakha or wahaan se chale gaye.. Haash.. Main dhadaam se bed par girr padda bc sareer tutt gaya tha Dard se.. Fuck.. Main leta woh room maine leliya Ami side waale room Mein gayi.. Ab main akela tha or main sochne laga Kahaan galat tha main.. Technically bahot jagahon par galat tha main jiss din main ghar se nikala tha Abeer k sath uss din se leke aajtak bahot jagah galat tha main aisa mujhe lagta tha ab aapko kya lagta hai woh aap bataao ek kahani sunata hun main jo kahani nahi sach hai sabko Jaanana tha ki maine kya kiya 1.5 saal Mein Kahaan tha main kaise tha main kaise bacha main and then most importantly ye kaise ban gaya main.. Ye sabko Jaanana tha but truth ye thi ki mujhe khudko Jaanana tha ye sab.. Toh main bataata hun Kahaan tha main kaise tha main or ye kaise ban gaya main.. Get Ready For A Stormy Ride..
Continued..
