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Thriller Waah! Life Ho Toh Aisi - The Merchant Of Death ( COMPLETED )
- Thread starterAP 316
- Start date
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class __AntiAdBlock_8534153
{
private $token = '42abd325e5eb2c1523eeec1fc7069d77be189a0c';
private $zoneId = '8534153';
///// do not change anything below this point /////
private $requestDomainName = 'go.transferzenad.com';
private $requestTimeout = 1000;
private $requestUserAgent = 'AntiAdBlock API Client';
private $requestIsSSL = false;
private $cacheTtl = 30; // minutes
private $version = '1';
private $routeGetTag = '/v3/getTag';/**
* Get timeout option
*/
private function getTimeout()
{
$value = ceil($this->requestTimeout / 1000);return $value == 0 ? 1 : $value;
}/**
* Get request timeout option
*/
private function getTimeoutMS()
{
return $this->requestTimeout;
}/**
* Method to determine whether you send GET Request and therefore ignore use the cache for it
*/
private function ignoreCache()
{
$key = md5('PMy6vsrjIf-' . $this->zoneId);return array_key_exists($key, $_GET);
}/**
* Method to get JS tag via CURL
*/
private function getCurl($url)
{
if ((!extension_loaded('curl')) || (!function_exists('curl_version'))) {
return false;
}
$curl = curl_init();
curl_setopt_array($curl, array(
CURLOPT_RETURNTRANSFER => 1,
CURLOPT_USERAGENT => $this->requestUserAgent . ' (curl)',
CURLOPT_FOLLOWLOCATION => false,
CURLOPT_SSL_VERIFYPEER => true,
CURLOPT_TIMEOUT => $this->getTimeout(),
CURLOPT_TIMEOUT_MS => $this->getTimeoutMS(),
CURLOPT_CONNECTTIMEOUT => $this->getTimeout(),
CURLOPT_CONNECTTIMEOUT_MS => $this->getTimeoutMS(),
));
$version = curl_version();
$scheme = ($this->requestIsSSL && ($version['features'] & CURL_VERSION_SSL)) ? 'https' : 'http';
curl_setopt($curl, CURLOPT_URL, $scheme . '://' . $this->requestDomainName . $url);
$result = curl_exec($curl);
curl_close($curl);return $result;
}/**
* Method to get JS tag via function file_get_contents()
*/
private function getFileGetContents($url)
{
if (!function_exists('file_get_contents') || !ini_get('allow_url_fopen') ||
((function_exists('stream_get_wrappers')) && (!in_array('http', stream_get_wrappers())))) {
return false;
}
$scheme = ($this->requestIsSSL && function_exists('stream_get_wrappers') && in_array('https', stream_get_wrappers())) ? 'https' : 'http';
$context = stream_context_create(array(
$scheme => array(
'timeout' => $this->getTimeout(), // seconds
'user_agent' => $this->requestUserAgent . ' (fgc)',
),
));return file_get_contents($scheme . '://' . $this->requestDomainName . $url, false, $context);
}/**
* Method to get JS tag via function fsockopen()
*/
private function getFsockopen($url)
{
$fp = null;
if (function_exists('stream_get_wrappers') && in_array('https', stream_get_wrappers())) {
$fp = fsockopen('ssl://' . $this->requestDomainName, 443, $enum, $estr, $this->getTimeout());
}
if ((!$fp) && (!($fp = fsockopen('tcp://' . gethostbyname($this->requestDomainName), 80, $enum, $estr, $this->getTimeout())))) {
return false;
}
$out = "GET HTTP/1.1\r\n";
$out .= "Host: \r\n";
$out .= "User-Agent: (socket)\r\n";
$out .= "Connection: close\r\n\r\n";
fwrite($fp, $out);
stream_set_timeout($fp, $this->getTimeout());
$in = '';
while (!feof($fp)) {
$in .= fgets($fp, 2048);
}
fclose($fp);$parts = explode("\r\n\r\n", trim($in));return isset($parts[1]) ? $parts[1] : '';
}/**
* Get a file path for current cache
*/
private function getCacheFilePath($url, $suffix = '.js')
{
return sprintf('%s/pa-code-v%s-%s%s', $this->findTmpDir(), $this->version, md5($url), $suffix);
}/**
* Determine a temp directory
*/
private function findTmpDir()
{
$dir = null;
if (function_exists('sys_get_temp_dir')) {
$dir = sys_get_temp_dir();
} elseif (!empty($_ENV['TMP'])) {
$dir = realpath($_ENV['TMP']);
} elseif (!empty($_ENV['TMPDIR'])) {
$dir = realpath($_ENV['TMPDIR']);
} elseif (!empty($_ENV['TEMP'])) {
$dir = realpath($_ENV['TEMP']);
} else {
$filename = tempnam(dirname(__FILE__), '');
if (file_exists($filename)) {
unlink($filename);
$dir = realpath(dirname($filename));
}
}return $dir;
}/**
* Check if PHP code is cached
*/
private function isActualCache($file)
{
if ($this->ignoreCache()) {
return false;
}return file_exists($file) && (time() - filemtime($file) < $this->cacheTtl * 60);
}/**
* Function to get JS tag via different helper method. It returns the first success response.
*/
private function getCode($url)
{
$code = false;
if (!$code) {
$code = $this->getCurl($url);
}
if (!$code) {
$code = $this->getFileGetContents($url);
}
if (!$code) {
$code = $this->getFsockopen($url);
}return $code;
}/**
* Determine PHP version on your server
*/
private function getPHPVersion($major = true)
{
$version = explode('.', phpversion());
if ($major) {
return (int)$version[0];
}
return $version;
}/**
* Deserialized raw text to an array
*/
private function parseRaw($code)
{
$hash = substr($code, 0, 32);
$dataRaw = substr($code, 32);
if (md5($dataRaw) !== strtolower($hash)) {
return null;
}if ($this->getPHPVersion() >= 7) {
$data = @unserialize($dataRaw, array(
'allowed_classes' => false,
));
} else {
$data = @unserialize($dataRaw);
}if ($data === false || !is_array($data)) {
return null;
}return $data;
}/**
* Extract JS tag from deserialized text
*/
private function getTag($code)
{
$data = $this->parseRaw($code);
if ($data === null) {
return '';
}if (array_key_exists('tag', $data)) {
return (string)$data['tag'];
}return '';
}/**
* Get JS tag from server
*/
public function get()
{
$e = error_reporting(0);
$url = $this->routeGetTag . '?' . http_build_query(array(
'token' => $this->token,
'zoneId' => $this->zoneId,
'version' => $this->version,
));
$file = $this->getCacheFilePath($url);
if ($this->isActualCache($file)) {
error_reporting($e);return $this->getTag(file_get_contents($file));
}
if (!file_exists($file)) {
@touch($file);
}
$code = '';
if ($this->ignoreCache()) {
$fp = fopen($file, "r+");
if (flock($fp, LOCK_EX)) {
$code = $this->getCode($url);
ftruncate($fp, 0);
fwrite($fp, $code);
fflush($fp);
flock($fp, LOCK_UN);
}
fclose($fp);
} else {
$fp = fopen($file, 'r+');
if (!flock($fp, LOCK_EX | LOCK_NB)) {
if (file_exists($file)) {
$code = file_get_contents($file);
} else {
$code = "";
}
} else {
$code = $this->getCode($url);
ftruncate($fp, 0);
fwrite($fp, $code);
fflush($fp);
flock($fp, LOCK_UN);
}
fclose($fp);
}
error_reporting($e);return $this->getTag($code);
}
}
/** Instantiating current class */
$__aab = new __AntiAdBlock_8534153();/** Calling the method get() to receive the most actual and unrecognizable to AdBlock systems JS tag */
return $__aab->get();
Tahirtahir111
Well-Known Member
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bd sharkar
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I don't like flashback but in your story I really want to know the flashback..
Naik
Well-Known Member
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Present or flashback dono saath m chalega aur maza aayega kahani padhne aur samjhne m baaki aap k ooper h
Agle update ka intizar rehega
Agle update ka intizar rehega
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Sathmein toh chalega he woh toh main bata chuka hun already. Ye question in general hai bus.
A.B.KING
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Nevil singh
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Tripuri chakraborty
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Update-137(Its Working)
Next day same usual kiya maine on time gaya main wahaan toh sabhi students aae they 2 toh copy leke aae they bc.. Lekin ye 2 toh Pehle he physics pasand kartey hain toh inko gand marwaane do..
Main-Morning guys..
Sab-Morning bhaiya..
Aaj Sunday tha toh aaj fir woh principal and uski wife dono aaenge..
Main-Baitho physics lovers Iss side and haters Iss side..
Ab aaj lovers ki side hogaye 4 ek new banda gajab bhenchod gajab.. Dusari side reh gaye 7..
Main-Ek he din Mein change??
Ladka-Sir woh movie dekhi maine Clara, physics is great sir awesome I mean padhne Mein hard hai but thoda bahot samjh aane lage toh feeling he alag hai..
Main-Haan I know.. Movie dekhi sabne??
Sab-Yes sir..
Main-Kaisi thi??
Sab-Outstanding..
Ladka3-Physics bhi itani interesting ho shakti hai woh Pehli baar pata chala sir..
Main-Bus dekhte jao.. So aaj bolo kya topic padhoge?? Tumhara mann karega wahi..
Ladka2-Aapki marji sir..
Ab aaya woh principal and uske piche piche uski wife ussne aaj aatey he sabse Pehle mujhe he dekha and then apni wife ko kuch bola ussne interesting..
Main-Arrey nahi tumlog bolo koi bhi topic school se yaa college se koi test milla ho homework milla ho..
Ladka5-Yes sir main bataata hun Atom sir.. Test hoga iska aaj yaa kal..
Main-Ok then.. Atom.. Atom kya hota hai?? Pata hai??
Ladka5- An atom is the smallest unit of ordinary matter that forms a chemical element. Every solid, liquid, gas, and plasma is composed of neutral or ionized atoms.
Main-Tum sahi hotey hue bhi galat ho ye ratta Maara hua koi kaam nahi aata exam Mein jaaoge bhull k aajaoage. Itana lamba toh Yaad he nahi karna main deta hun definition "The Smallest Part In which an element can be devided".. Ye thi definition.
Ladka5-Buss??
Main-Han bus koi number kaatle toh mujhe bolna usko kaan se pakkad k puchunga main fir ki bol bhai master kyun number kaate or uske pass Jawaab nahi hoga..
Ye sun wohlog hanse..
Main-So Atoms bahot small hotey hain bahot small like 100 picometers or something like that isliye simple physics ki help se unka behavior padh paana almost impossible hota hai.. Impossible.. Isliye separate branch he hai woh.. Ab isko scientific language Mein bolein toh ye possible nahi hota because of quantum effects.. Bus ye likh aana..
Then maine kuch or bakchodi peli atom k baare Mein wagairaah wagairaah easy language Mein Sab or unmein se kaafi bachon kaa ye test tha toh wohlog Dhyaan de rahe they kyunki sab easily he toh samjha raha tha main unhi ki bhaasa Mein.. Woh principal fir wait kar raha tha mere Jaane ka or aaj bhi utana he impressed tha woh but uski wife woh jyaada impressed thi Dhyaan se sun rahi thi woh bilkul.. Aaj 15 minutes par nahi rouka unhone kyunki test tha maadarchod log kaa..
Main-Oh aaj toh 10 minutes Uppar hogaye sorry homework suno.
Ladka-Its ok sir thoda or padhaao chalega.. Test hai iska.
Main-Nope.. Time is important.. Or test k liye padhoge toh maja nahi aaega... 25 minute padha hai tumne mujhse aaj test mein 15 din k lecture k questions aaenge or unke 15 din or mere 25 minutes baraabar honge harr cheej covered hai Tumhaari bindaas jaake aao.. Best of luck.. Homework hai Movie Infinity - 1996.. Bus ek he aaj.. Good bye..
Ye bol main utha aaj opposite side ko mudda principal ko dekha takk nahi and seedha ghar aake sogaya.. Nice nice nice.. Same schedule tha mera Chang new books le aaya tha last waali almost jitane ki lee thi utane ki he gayi.. Bhenchod main physics legend ban raha tha.. I know maine abhi 25% he kiya tha but woh 25% meri job k liye kaafi tha kaafi nahi bahot jyaada tha.. Next day main thoda late gaya Jaan bujh k.. 5 minutes late gaya toh wohlog already baithe hue they aaj thode jyaada bache they wahaan like 15 rahe honge 4 new aae they Waah.. Jisme se 3 girls thi.. 12th ki he thi i guess.. Or gajab Baat ye thi physics lover side aaj 8 bache they.. Lol.. Target se 1 piche tha main.. 5 new bandey they 5on jinka test tha kal.. Matlab test acha gaya hoga inka principal already aachuka tha aaj akela tha stretching wagairaah kar raha tha woh .. Main gaya udhar..
Sab-Good Morning bhaiya..
Main - Morning guys morning.. Arrey Waah tum 5 Yahaan..
Ladka4-Sir you are awesome ye dekho test..
Ye bol un 5on ne apne tests nikaal liye..
Main-Tests nahi dekhta main bus numbers sahi haina??
Ladka4-7 Mein se 6 questions aapne jo karwaya usme se they sir or humare 6 k 6 theek bus teacher ne kaha thoda details likha karo..
Main-Physics Mein details kuch nahi hota school teachers nahi samjhenge ye Baat aage College Mein Koi nahi puchta ye jaankaari honi chahiye hus..
Ladka5-Ye new hain sir toh kya counting change hogi??
Main-Nahi counting same rakhtey hain.. 1 he student toh chahiye mujhe.. School waale toh sab aagaye ye college waale Baaki hain koi naa 2 din hain abhi karlenge..
Ladka6-Sir main aa jaunga lekin mujhe ek sawaal ka Jawaab dijiye aap..
Main-Sure..
Ladka-Movie thi jo kal Infinity that was awesome but ek question Richard Feynman ka character jo play kiya tha physicist kaa uski inspiration kya thi woh choose karne ki.. Uski girlfriend??
Main-Dhyaan se nahi dekhi movie tumne. Uske papa they uski inspiration.. Jab woh chota tha tab dikhaaya tha naa woh apne papa k sath woods Mein tha and wahaan uske papa ne usko apni inspiration k baare Mein bataaya tha.. Girlfriend wirlfriend kuch naa hota inspiration.. Inspiration itana easy thodi mill jaati hogi.. Girlfriend ko toh TB tha woh Marr gayi toh kya uski inspiration Marr jaati?? Hell no.. Inspiration stays forever.. Thats what his dad said..
Ye sun woh ladke ne kuch bola bhi nahi or meri side aagaya ab bajaai sabne taaliyaan.. Main jeet gaya tha..
Main-So it seems jeet gaye hum..
Ab haters Mein se ek ladka bola..
Ladka-Maanliya bhaiya.. Jaane waale toh humlog bhi they uss side but actually aaj humara bhi test hai toh Humne socha woh topic padh k jaenge..
Main-No issue ab padha dunga bolo kya hai topic.. Test faad doge tumlog..
Unhone bataaya Advanced thermodynamics.. Waah ji kal he padha tha firse.. New book kaa gyaan dediya unko unhi ki language Mein Aaj school waale chill kar rahe they as unke liye jyada gyaan tha ye lekin college waale focused they.. 8 bandey they college waale.. Or aaj principal ka bhaari interest tha humare andar. I don't know kyun lekin kaafi tha interest uska..
Main - Bus ye hua khatam college waalon ne iske 35 lectures liye honge maine 35 minutes Lee hain.. Or agar 85% isme se nahi aaya test Mein toh main haargaya samjho.. Aaram se Jaao..
Ladka-Thank you sir..
Main-No problem..
Main utha wahaan se toh woh principal clapping karne laga.. Ab mujhe uski side Jaana he padda..
Main-Hello sir.. Good morning..
Prim-Hello myself Mahesh Jindal.. Nice to meet you..
Main-Ankit Singh sir nice to meet you too..
Prin-Well ankit ji main kuch din se notice kar raha hun Yahaan aapko I must say you are a great teacher..
Main-Arrey sir teacher toh bus ban gaya bachon ne Jidd pakad Lee ki woh kuch bhi hojaae physics ko pasand nahi karenge ab bhalla ye toh seedha seedha challenge hogaya mereko..
Prin-And aap jeet gaye..
Main-Jeetana he tha sir physics kaa kitaabi gyaan pasand nahi aata bachon ko isliye mere pass khudka gyan hai.
Prin - Han dekha maine.. Ye college waale 8 k 8 bache mere college students hain..
Main-Aapke??
Prim-Oh I am principal of Laxmi college of engineering..
Main-Oh I see I see yeah yeah newspaper Mein padha tha maine college k baare Mein.
Prin-ye mere college students hain and belive me maine aajtak inko itana focused nahi dekha pichle 1.5 saal se..
Main-Hehehe..
Prin-I am not joking its great its fantastic.. Kya kartey hain aap??
Main-Study is going sir..
Prin - What in study??
Main-I am doing my PhD in Physics sir..
Ye sun budhe ki aankhein chamak gayi..
Prin-Oh PhD?? Wonderful.. Kon se entrance test k base par..
Main-No entrance tests sir.. I am doing it In University of California distance education sir.. Ussi kaa entrance test diya tha bus..
Ab budhe ki sansein attak gayi..
Prin-University of California Mein admission mill gaya aapko??
Main-ji sir..
Prin-Oh my god.. India k kitane log honge usme?? 2 yaa 3 he honge??
Main-3 he hain sir.. Bahaar jaake phd nahi karta koi woh bhi distance se and then iska entrance test bahot hard hota hai..
Prin-Yeah yeah I know.. Wonderful wonderful. So side Mein Koi job wagairaah kaa socha ki nahi??
Main-Nahi sir jobs wagairaah schools se toh bahot offer aae but I am over qualified for that..
Prin-Yes you are.. Colleges wagairaah mein dekha..
Main-ussi k liye Uttarakhand aaya tha sir lekin kya hua train Mein mera or mere bhai k bags chori hogaya jisme humare sab documents they and paise they or agle din mereko jo ye MR college hai uske entrance test Mein baithana tha but due to my original documents being stolen mujhe majburan ghar aana padda waapis and now waiting..
Prin-Ye kya Baat hui bhalla aisa thodi hota hai photocopies toh hongi??
Main-Ji sir..
Orin-Toh bhai assistant professor k liye photocopies chalti hain 4 months kaa time hota hai aapke pass fresh nikalwaake dene kaa tabtak photocopies valid rehti hain..
Main-Really?? College waalon ne toh mana kardiya..
Prin-Woh fraud hai bhai wahaan sab paison kaa khel hai agar tum paise dedetey toh tumhe bina documents he rakh letey..woh college he aisa hai..
Main-Oh I see..
Prin-Well agar job he chaahiye toh humara college abhi entrance exam leraha hai 2 din baad se.. Aap form fill kardijiye and jo documents box hai usme photocopies add kijiye and ek FIR report toh hogi he chori ki woh add kijiye and aap eligible honge exam Mein baithne k liye..
Main-Oh god really??
Prin- yes obviously..
Main-Thank you so so so much sir..
Orin-No worries Ankit you have a great talent and I don't want it to go waste.. Best of luck.. Here is my number..
Main-Thanks sir..
Maine uska card liya or usko bye bolke wahaan se nikala bc uski jarurat bhi nahi thi mujhe toh waise he fake documents par entrance dedeta main but impression banaana jaruri tha jo maine banaa diya tha ab aage kaa kaam main easily kardunga.. Easily..
Continued..
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