Update-130(Fucked Up)
130
Sam driving seat par aaya bhai aage baithtey and main or babhi piche and humlog nikale..
Babhi - chalo iss bahaane tum dono time toh spend karoge mere sath..
Sam-Oh come on babhi main daily milta hun aapse..
Main-Same..
Babhi - That's a lie.. Sam fir bhi milta hai but tu nope..
Main-What??That's a lie..
Babhi-Acha last time kab milla tha mujhse tu??
Main-Abhi kal he toh Humlog card distribute karne gaye they..
Babhi - Nice try but woh parson gaye they.. Yaani 2 din ..
Main-Really?? Well meri galati nahi hai main mission mein busy tha..
Babhi - Woh kuch bhi ho..The fact is..
Main-Yeah main time spend nahi karta aapke sath..
Babhi - Exactly.. Hum dono ko koi idea nahi hai ek dusare ki life mein kya chal raha hai.. Meri toh chal life boring and simple hai but what's happening with you Past few days??
Main- Hmm..Iss month Suru se start kartey hain.. Maine Vinu k liye plan banaaya uske through maine Riya ki friend ko bachaya and ek do or ladke ko, usko nipataake maine PK ko target kiya uske through main Jagdish takk pohancha then Jagdish ko nipataake ab yahaan hun..
Babhi - Teri life itani interesting hotey hue bhi itani boring kaise ho shakti hai??
Main-Yahi toh main kabse keh raha hun jo mile wohi kehta hai mujhe yaar AP teri aish hai.. Koi kya ye bhaddi shakal kaa Sam ye he bolta hai tere maje hain, isase reason pucho toh bolta hai tujhe college nahi jaana padta, bolo agar mujhe ye life chhodke college life join karne ko mile toh main ek second mein badal lun sab.. I hate this shit but...
Sam - Toh fir kyun karta hai??
Bhai-Kyunki kissi ko toh karna hai or uske skills hain jo usko inn sab mein sabse better banaatey hain.. Issi se adrenaline milta hai usko..
Main-Exactly.. I love this shit but no doubt ye bahot boring hai lagon ko maar maar k thakk gaya hun main.. Can you believe it??
Sam-Lol..
Ab kareeb 1 ghantey takk humlog baatein kartey rahe or humaara almost aadha safar complete hogaya tha or mujhe baithtey - 2 hone lagi thi thakaan toh main babhi ki goudd mein sirr rakh k sogaya.. Maine meri maa ko itane ache se nahi jaana but babhi mere liye maa se uppar thi unki goudd mein jannat thi mere liye babhi ne mere sirr mein hath ferrna suru kiya toh mujhe turant he nind aagayi or meri nind khulli ek bhayanak bump k sath Sam ne koi khaddey se nikaali gaadi..
Main - Kya kar raha haibe.. Andha hai kya..?
Sam-Main kya karun be sadak par gaddha tha.. Kya bhai kya faayda aapki sarkaar kaa jo ye theek nahi karwa shaktey..
Deva-Jaa jaa.. Almost 2 ghantey se gaadi chala raha hai or ye pehla gaddha aaya issi mein utaar di tune, sarkaar theek hai teri driving theek nahi hai..
Main-Exactly.. Noob..
Main firse lateney laga..
Babhi - Arrey uth 10 minutes mein pohanch jaaenge.. So so k thakata nahi hai kya tu?? Puri raat soke aaya firse soye jaa raha hai uth..
Main-Kya karun yaar babhi woh bukhaar ne meri aisi taisi kardi hai.. Itani thakaan hone lagti hai ki pucho matt.. Maano sareer switch off hojaaega abhi.. Baithe baithe thakk jaata hun main..
Babhi - Awww! Kuch din rahegi ye tiredness bukhaar bhi toh bhayanak he tha..
Main-Yeah yeah..
Main uthke baith gaya or humlog pohanchey Sam k gaon.. Gaon mein enter hotey he galli k dono taraf log ikkatha hue they or flowers daal rahe they gaadi k uppar bhai ki bahot jyaada respect hai yahaan par bahot se bhi jyaada, toh jaise he khabar mili ki bhai aarahe hain pura gaon ikkatha hogaya tha.. Gaadi bahot slow nikali logon ko hi hello, ram ram, parnaam kartey hue Humlog haweli pohanchey gaadi seedhi lawn mein park ki toh mama ji wahin they humlog uttare Mama ji ka aashirwad liya and unke sath andar aaye and hall mein baithtey..Kuch derr baatein hui ghar pariwar ki then hum sab ne lunch suru kiya..
Mama-Toh Sam tu toh rukk raha hai naa yahaan?
Sam-Hell no papa.. Main kya karunga idhar..
Mama-Kuch kaam hain 3-4 din rukk jaa..
Sam- Nope.. Main nahi rukkane waala shaadi k time main yahaan kya karunga..
Mama-Kaam jaruri hai..
Sam-Kuch bhi ho main naa rukk raha shaadi k baad aajaaunga 1-2 din..Abhi toh sawaal he paida nahi hota..
Babhi - Majaak kar rahe hain Mamu Sam..
Mama-(Hanske)Dekha kaise shakal badal gyi thi iski.. Aisa kya jadu kardiya AP tune iske uppar..
Main- Maine nahi sabne Mama jab chotta tha tab ye mere or Ravi k liye aata tha lekin uske baad toh yahaan se 10 gunna jyaada wahaan raha hai ye wahi ghar hai iska toh.
Sam-Yep.. Woh first home hai.. This comes second..
Mama-Chalo achi baat hai bhaiyon kaa pyaar yun he bana rahe humesha.. Mujhe koi dikkat nahi hai jabtak tumlog khuss ho..Mujhe bhalla kya he tension hogi, Padhai Deepu k hotey tumlog kar he loge, baaki duniyadari sikhaane k liye Deva hai he or problems mein se nikaalne k liye AP khud hai he.. Aajkal toh pure north India ki problems single handedly solve kar raha hai ye..
Deva-Facts Mamu..
Ab lunch k baad Babhi or bhai toh gaon chale gaye aaj kaa program kya tha rasam k according gaon ki ladies shyaam ko yahaan ikkatha hongi and bhajan wagairaah karengi Satsang type and uske baad ye rasam puri hogi.. Jyaada details mujhe khud nahi pata.. Toh babhi unn ladies ko invitation dene gayi gaon. Idhar main or Sam, Sam k room mein aaye and movie lagaalee.. Ab main thehra bimaar aadmi suru k 10 minutes mein he mujhe nind aagayi and nind jab khulli toh bhenchod maano kai saal baad utha main holy fuck.. Main utha bed se or ek angadaai lee Sam jaa chuka tha main bhi ubaasi leta hua niche aane laga seedhiyon se..
Kya he mast nind aai bhenchod.. Main niche uttartey hue khudse he bola, main uttarta gaya uttarta gaya lekin bhenchod seedhiyaan khatam hone ka naam nahi lerahi thi.. Maine piche muddke dekha toh main 60-70 seedhiyaan minimum uttar chuka tha, lekin bhenchod seedhiyaan toh puri 10-12 he thi.. Main fir uttarta gaya or tabtak uttarta he raha jabtak bhenchod mere ghutne jawaab naa degaye..
Main-Bhenchod what the fuck is happening..Hallucinations?? Oh for fucks shake bhenchod.. Fuckkkk..Meri gand maarlo bhen k lawdo..But ek second agar ye hallucinations hain toh mera sareer kyun dard kar raha hai seedhiyaan uttarne se??
Ab mujhe still ye belive nahi hua ki main sapne mein yaa hallucination mein tha kyunki mera ghutna sachmein jawaab degaya tha bhenchod kahin real mein toh kahin nahi chal raha tha sath sath main bhenchod uth warna kudd wudd jaaega kahin se.. Uth.. Lekin again maine khudko uthaana caaha but uth naa paaya.. Bhenchod ye sapna tha mujhe bhi pata tha ye sapna hai meri body ko bhi pata tha or ye sapna hai mere mind ko bhi pata tha or fir bhi bhenchod khudko utha nahi paaraha tha main.. This is insane bhenchod..
Ab maine khudko jagaane k liye extreme measures kaa use karna theek samjha or main aankh bandh karke seedhiyon se kudd gaya or niche girne se pehle main apne bed par utha or ek thappad laga meri gardan par..
Sam-Bhosdk kya kar raha hai. Gand faad di..
Main kuddke bed se utha toh Sam jo movie dekhne mein busy tha woh darr gaya bechara..
Sam-Hello??
Main-Yeah yeah sorry sapna dekh raha tha..
Sam-Bhosdk tu or tere sapne bawligand aadmi..
Ok, this is getting more and more serious everyday mujhe jawaab caahiye thi ki ye aise kabtak kaise or kyun rahega.. Fuck all that..Or jawaab bus ek he shaks de shakta tha..
Continued..