Wah.....Anil Kapoor ki Nayak wala scene lag raha....ek din ka CM....kya dharadhar faisele le raha...but in AP's way....Update-14(My Way)
14
Humlog office pohanchey meeting room mein jaake main baitha Mangal mere side mein baitha or Gupta ji bahaar se 4suited buited uncle log ko andar le aae..Unhone namaste wagairaah ki and wohlog baithe..
Main-Ji Boliye.. Kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Aadmi1- Aap humein nahi jaantey honge lekin humlog ...
Main-The Mehta's i know Sehar k jaane maane builders.. Gupta ji ne bataaya abhi mujhe.. Toh boliye Mehta's kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Aadmi1-Ji humne ek land khareedi thi almost 30 acres sab deal hogayi paperwork humaare pass hai, hum wahaan ek medical college banwaane waale they sab set tha lekin humne jaise he kaam suru kiya wahaan k local gundon ne aake humaara kaam rukwa diya or humaare workers k sath bhi maar peet ki..Ab woh humein wahaan ghusne takk nahi detey or kaam ki deadline najdeek aati jaa rahi hai sir.. Itana bada loss we can't handle that sir.. I hope you can understand??
Main-Really Gupta ji?? Really?? Local gundon kaa matter bhai solve nahi kar paaye itane din se..
Guptaji-Haan AP woh local gunde Mla Rajnish k bandey hain.. Issliye bhai Rajnish se baat karna caahtey they pehle taaki koi solution nikale iss baat kaa but then accident hua and aage tumhe pata he hai..
Main-Ek second Mla Rajnish?? Gudla waala Rajnish??Tumlog Gudla ki baat kar rahe ho..
Aadmi 1-Ji..Wahi, Mla Rajnish ne khud mujhe dhamki di hai ki agar maine wahaan pair bhi rakha toh mere liye acha nahi hoga.
Main-Arrey kya Mehta sahaab iske liye itani panchayat kar rahe they tum..Abhi solve kardeta hun..
Aadmi 1-Meharbaani hogi aapki..
Maine mera phone nikaala toh usme Rajnish kaa number nahi tha..
Main-Fuck.. Ye Rajnish kaa number hai??
Aadmi 1-Ji..
Main-Call kar toh..
Aadmi1-M.. Maamain??
Main-Haao..Darr matt be main kiss liye baitha hun yahaan..
Aadmi1- Ye lijijiiye aaap he baat kijiye..
Maine phone speaker par kiya and saamne table par rakha..
Main-Darrtey bahot ho Mehta sahaab aap..
Aadmi1-Ww. W. Woh bada dangerous hai bhai..
Main-Acha.. Abhi dekhletey hain kitana dangerous hai..
Rajnish - Arrey Mehta sahaab kaise yaad kiya?? Kya hua saanp sungh gaya kya be..??bola tha naa tereko idhar koi college billege nahi banega samjha?? Yeda hai kya tu??
Main-Kya be chutiye..
Rajnish - Aey bhosdk sathiya gaya hai kya?? Kon hai tu??
Main-Tera baap bolraha hun..
Rajnish - AP?? AP bhai??
Main-Pehchaan gaya bc.
Rajnish - Bhai bhai maafi.. Parnaam bhai pehchaana nahi aapko.. Aadesh karo bhai..
Main-Chup bhosdk.. Tu kya ye builder log ko dhamka raha hai be, College he toh bana rahe hain gandu, Gudla kaa bhalla matt hone dena tu chutiye.. Kuch Toh acha ho uss shithole mein..
Rajnish - Bhai bhai woh dikkat nahi hai bhai..Aap Hukkum karo toh kal he kaam suru karwaadunga bhai lekin Idhar total 28 parivar rehtey hain bhai unki jhopdi kaa kya hoga bhai?? Wohlog road par aajaaenge bechaare..
Main-Unki chinta matt kar tu unko main sambhaal lunga..
Rajnish - Ji bhai, aap hukkum karo bhai kab suru karwana hai abhi bolo toh abhi karwaadeta hun??
Main- Sun Tere pass mera samaan hai kuch..?
Rajnish - Kuch?? Bahot kuch bhai?? Sab aapka he hai..
Main-Haan toh usme se Harr parivar ko 10-15 Lakh dedena or mere khaate mein likhlena..
Rajnish-Done bhai.. Done bhai.. Thanks bhai..
Main-Kal main aaunga chief guest banke maadarchod kuch gadbadi hui naa toh dekhlena..
Rajnish - Bus kya bhai itana viswaash nahi raha kya bhai?? Aap aao bhai agar koi dikkat ho toh aapka juta or mera sirr..
Main-Chal rakhta hun..
Rajnish - Ji bhai..
Call disconnected..
Maine phone rakha toh woh Mehta log or Gupta ji and Mangal sab munh faade mujhe he dekh rahe they..
Main-Sorry for the abuse.. Inko aise he samjh aati hai..
Aadmi1-Thanks a lot bhai thanks a lot..
Main-No problem yaad rakhna favour bc bhool matt jaana.. Or haan woh jitane bhi parivaar hain unke liye ussi jagah k kissi kone mein ek sath pakke makaan banwa dena chote mote he sahi..
Aadmi1-Ji bhai.. Done..
Unke liye coffee aagayi..
Main-Coffee bahaar he jaake peeneka meri agli meeting hai.. Leke jaao sath cup..
Ye sun unhone mujhe ek baar dekha then apne - 2 cup uthaake khaddey hue..
Aadmi1-Again thanks AP sir.. Thanks a lot..
Main-No problem..
Ye sunke wohlog chale gaye wahaan se..
Mangal-Aise bahaar nahi bhejtey be coffee toh pee lene deta..
Main-Bhosdk Karodon rupaye kaa faayda karwa diya inka ab coffee gand mein daalenge.. Aise coffee - 2 k chakkar mein raat hojaaegi yahaan.. Gupta ji next..
Next ab Ek aadmi aaya 28-30 age hogi safed kurta paayjama, uske piche piche 10-12 desi log orr bhi aaye..
Unki file thi mere pass toh yelog kai gaon k Sarpanch they humaare district k nahi kaafi durr se aaye they actually Gurugram side se.. Paani kaa koi issue tha.. Parnaam wagairaah hui..
Main-Ji boliye kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Sarpanch 1-Sewa k sahaab bus jama dukhi hore haan bus aap he sahaara ho pichle 3 maheene se nehar mein paani kaa ek katra nahi aaya hai, Gehun or sarson dono kharaab hone laag ri hain, Ram ji nai baarish bhi naa kari abki baar toh, ab paani nahi aaya toh bus fansi khaan waala kaam hojega..
Main-Arrey arrey sarpanch sahaab tumlog faansi khaaloge toh humne kon puchega hain?? Faansi se acha solution kar detey hain aapka..
Sarpanch - Upkaar hoga maalik aapka..
Main-Guptaji kya chakkar hai inka??
Guptaji-Piche main canal ki safaai horahi hai uski wajah se dikkat hai...
Main-3 maheene se safaai horahi hai??DM, Incharge, JE, SDM, SDO, sabko phone karke bolo ki agar 2 din mein inke yahaan paani nahi aaya toh wohlog apne ghar baith jaaein for real, suspension ghar he pohanch jaaega..Bina safaai chala do paani i dont care but paani caahiye..
Guptaji-Ji..
Main-Lo bhai.. Or kuch??
Sarpanch- Bus Maalik aapki daya..
Main-Ji chaliye fir paani pohanch jaaega nahi pohanchey toh ye Gupta ji ka number lelo inko call kardena itani durr aane ki dikkat matt lena..
Sarpanch - Ji.
Main-Chaliye fir..
Wohlog nikale next ek lady aai 50-55 age rahi hogi, shakal se he kaafi sad lag rahi thi woh..
Aunty-Namaste Sahaab..
Main-Baithiye Aunty ji.. Boliye kya sewa kar shakta hun aapki..
Aunty ne mujhe ek file di jo polythene mein lipti hui thi maine kholi toh usme pics thi or pics dekh k ek baar toh main bhi rukk saa gaya, pics kissi ladki ki thi 25-26 ki age or woh fully injured thi like uska munh toh pura damaged tha uske alawa puri body par wounds he wounds they.. Maine aunty ko dekha toh unki aankho mein aanshu aagaye..
Main-Arrey aunty roiye matt kya hua inko bataaiye mujhe..
Aunty - W. W. Woh beta..
Aunty boltey boltey rukk gayi..
Guptaji- Kharar gaon se hain ye, Rape case hai AP kissi ne Rape kiya and buri tarah maara bechari ko, 5 din se coma mein thi parson he honsh aaya hai..
Main-Kon tha Aunty??
Aunty - Vv.. Vikki..
Main-Police ne kuch nahi kiya??
Aunty - Chairman hai beta humaare yahaan kaa, police ne ulta mere bete ko maara humne complaint ki tab.. Badi aash lagaake aai hun aapke pass..
Main-Koi saboot aunty..
Ye sunke aunty ne apna keypad phone nikalke ek video chalaake mujhe di video issi phone mein shoot hui thi toh quality kam he thi usme ek shaks jiska cehra saaf nahi tha but haan dikh raha tha theek se woh dhamki de raha tha iss aunty ko or usne iske bete ko galle se pakkada tha or bol raha tha ki doobara police station gaye toh isska bhi wahi haal karunga and blah blah.. Uske sath ek or shaks tha..
Aunty - Police ne bola ki ye video mein dikh nahi raha kuch bhi toh saboot k torr par nahi kaam mein laa shaktey..
Main-Aise kaise?? Cehra toh dikh raha hai..
Aunty - Haan beta lekin unko complaint likhni he nahi hai sab uski jeb mein hain, mere bete ko juthe case mein daalke thane mein rakha hai beta.. Kuch toh karo..
Main-Kya chaahti hain aunty aap mujhse. ?
Aunty - Yahi ki beta isko kanoon saja dey..
Main-Naa naa naa uske liye aap galat jagah aai hain, kanoon kaa mujhse koi lena dena nahi hai haan Saja main jarur dedunga.. Lekin meri saja fir kanoon se bahot jyaada ghatiya hoti hai boliye manjurr hai toh...
Aunty - Meri beti se buri kya haalat hogi beta unki..
Main-Oh aunty usase bahot buri bahot jyaada buri.. Aap dekhtey jaao.. Or kon tha isme??
Aunty - Vicki or uska bhai Monty..
Main-Aap he k gaon k hain??
Aunty - H.. Haan..
Main-Kahaan milenge koi idea??
Aunty - Wahin apne khet mein pade rehtey hain beta pura din nashe mein..
Main-Ok.. Guptaji ye Vicki ki details nikaalo or ek photo mujhe forward kardo, chairman hai toh online sab mil jaaega..
Gupta ji - Ji..
Main-Or aunty ji aap iss paper par uss uss police officer kaa naam likho jiss jiss ne aapki help nahi ki isme aapki..
Aunty - Nnn. Nahi beta police se koi problem nahi caahiye humein..
Main-Mujhe caahiye haina.. Jaldi likhiye.. Aapki beti kahaan hai??
Aunty - Government hospital..
Main-Mangal phone karke usko ASAP Ruhi k yahaan shift karwadey..
Mangal - Hogaya samjh..
Aunty - bb. B. Eta shaitaan hai woh.. Kahin mere betey ko kuch..
Main-Chinta matt karo aunty ji main bhi toh dekhun yahaan mujhse bada shaitaan bhalla kon hogaya..
Continued..
Update-14(My Way)
14
Humlog office pohanchey meeting room mein jaake main baitha Mangal mere side mein baitha or Gupta ji bahaar se 4suited buited uncle log ko andar le aae..Unhone namaste wagairaah ki and wohlog baithe..
Main-Ji Boliye.. Kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Aadmi1- Aap humein nahi jaantey honge lekin humlog ...
Main-The Mehta's i know Sehar k jaane maane builders.. Gupta ji ne bataaya abhi mujhe.. Toh boliye Mehta's kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Aadmi1-Ji humne ek land khareedi thi almost 30 acres sab deal hogayi paperwork humaare pass hai, hum wahaan ek medical college banwaane waale they sab set tha lekin humne jaise he kaam suru kiya wahaan k local gundon ne aake humaara kaam rukwa diya or humaare workers k sath bhi maar peet ki..Ab woh humein wahaan ghusne takk nahi detey or kaam ki deadline najdeek aati jaa rahi hai sir.. Itana bada loss we can't handle that sir.. I hope you can understand??
Main-Really Gupta ji?? Really?? Local gundon kaa matter bhai solve nahi kar paaye itane din se..
Guptaji-Haan AP woh local gunde Mla Rajnish k bandey hain.. Issliye bhai Rajnish se baat karna caahtey they pehle taaki koi solution nikale iss baat kaa but then accident hua and aage tumhe pata he hai..
Main-Ek second Mla Rajnish?? Gudla waala Rajnish??Tumlog Gudla ki baat kar rahe ho..
Aadmi 1-Ji..Wahi, Mla Rajnish ne khud mujhe dhamki di hai ki agar maine wahaan pair bhi rakha toh mere liye acha nahi hoga.
Main-Arrey kya Mehta sahaab iske liye itani panchayat kar rahe they tum..Abhi solve kardeta hun..
Aadmi 1-Meharbaani hogi aapki..
Maine mera phone nikaala toh usme Rajnish kaa number nahi tha..
Main-Fuck.. Ye Rajnish kaa number hai??
Aadmi 1-Ji..
Main-Call kar toh..
Aadmi1-M.. Maamain??
Main-Haao..Darr matt be main kiss liye baitha hun yahaan..
Aadmi1- Ye lijijiiye aaap he baat kijiye..
Maine phone speaker par kiya and saamne table par rakha..
Main-Darrtey bahot ho Mehta sahaab aap..
Aadmi1-Ww. W. Woh bada dangerous hai bhai..
Main-Acha.. Abhi dekhletey hain kitana dangerous hai..
Rajnish - Arrey Mehta sahaab kaise yaad kiya?? Kya hua saanp sungh gaya kya be..??bola tha naa tereko idhar koi college billege nahi banega samjha?? Yeda hai kya tu??
Main-Kya be chutiye..
Rajnish - Aey bhosdk sathiya gaya hai kya?? Kon hai tu??
Main-Tera baap bolraha hun..
Rajnish - AP?? AP bhai??
Main-Pehchaan gaya bc.
Rajnish - Bhai bhai maafi.. Parnaam bhai pehchaana nahi aapko.. Aadesh karo bhai..
Main-Chup bhosdk.. Tu kya ye builder log ko dhamka raha hai be, College he toh bana rahe hain gandu, Gudla kaa bhalla matt hone dena tu chutiye.. Kuch Toh acha ho uss shithole mein..
Rajnish - Bhai bhai woh dikkat nahi hai bhai..Aap Hukkum karo toh kal he kaam suru karwaadunga bhai lekin Idhar total 28 parivar rehtey hain bhai unki jhopdi kaa kya hoga bhai?? Wohlog road par aajaaenge bechaare..
Main-Unki chinta matt kar tu unko main sambhaal lunga..
Rajnish - Ji bhai, aap hukkum karo bhai kab suru karwana hai abhi bolo toh abhi karwaadeta hun??
Main- Sun Tere pass mera samaan hai kuch..?
Rajnish - Kuch?? Bahot kuch bhai?? Sab aapka he hai..
Main-Haan toh usme se Harr parivar ko 10-15 Lakh dedena or mere khaate mein likhlena..
Rajnish-Done bhai.. Done bhai.. Thanks bhai..
Main-Kal main aaunga chief guest banke maadarchod kuch gadbadi hui naa toh dekhlena..
Rajnish - Bus kya bhai itana viswaash nahi raha kya bhai?? Aap aao bhai agar koi dikkat ho toh aapka juta or mera sirr..
Main-Chal rakhta hun..
Rajnish - Ji bhai..
Call disconnected..
Maine phone rakha toh woh Mehta log or Gupta ji and Mangal sab munh faade mujhe he dekh rahe they..
Main-Sorry for the abuse.. Inko aise he samjh aati hai..
Aadmi1-Thanks a lot bhai thanks a lot..
Main-No problem yaad rakhna favour bc bhool matt jaana.. Or haan woh jitane bhi parivaar hain unke liye ussi jagah k kissi kone mein ek sath pakke makaan banwa dena chote mote he sahi..
Aadmi1-Ji bhai.. Done..
Unke liye coffee aagayi..
Main-Coffee bahaar he jaake peeneka meri agli meeting hai.. Leke jaao sath cup..
Ye sun unhone mujhe ek baar dekha then apne - 2 cup uthaake khaddey hue..
Aadmi1-Again thanks AP sir.. Thanks a lot..
Main-No problem..
Ye sunke wohlog chale gaye wahaan se..
Mangal-Aise bahaar nahi bhejtey be coffee toh pee lene deta..
Main-Bhosdk Karodon rupaye kaa faayda karwa diya inka ab coffee gand mein daalenge.. Aise coffee - 2 k chakkar mein raat hojaaegi yahaan.. Gupta ji next..
Next ab Ek aadmi aaya 28-30 age hogi safed kurta paayjama, uske piche piche 10-12 desi log orr bhi aaye..
Unki file thi mere pass toh yelog kai gaon k Sarpanch they humaare district k nahi kaafi durr se aaye they actually Gurugram side se.. Paani kaa koi issue tha.. Parnaam wagairaah hui..
Main-Ji boliye kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Sarpanch 1-Sewa k sahaab bus jama dukhi hore haan bus aap he sahaara ho pichle 3 maheene se nehar mein paani kaa ek katra nahi aaya hai, Gehun or sarson dono kharaab hone laag ri hain, Ram ji nai baarish bhi naa kari abki baar toh, ab paani nahi aaya toh bus fansi khaan waala kaam hojega..
Main-Arrey arrey sarpanch sahaab tumlog faansi khaaloge toh humne kon puchega hain?? Faansi se acha solution kar detey hain aapka..
Sarpanch - Upkaar hoga maalik aapka..
Main-Guptaji kya chakkar hai inka??
Guptaji-Piche main canal ki safaai horahi hai uski wajah se dikkat hai...
Main-3 maheene se safaai horahi hai??DM, Incharge, JE, SDM, SDO, sabko phone karke bolo ki agar 2 din mein inke yahaan paani nahi aaya toh wohlog apne ghar baith jaaein for real, suspension ghar he pohanch jaaega..Bina safaai chala do paani i dont care but paani caahiye..
Guptaji-Ji..
Main-Lo bhai.. Or kuch??
Sarpanch- Bus Maalik aapki daya..
Main-Ji chaliye fir paani pohanch jaaega nahi pohanchey toh ye Gupta ji ka number lelo inko call kardena itani durr aane ki dikkat matt lena..
Sarpanch - Ji.
Main-Chaliye fir..
Wohlog nikale next ek lady aai 50-55 age rahi hogi, shakal se he kaafi sad lag rahi thi woh..
Aunty-Namaste Sahaab..
Main-Baithiye Aunty ji.. Boliye kya sewa kar shakta hun aapki..
Aunty ne mujhe ek file di jo polythene mein lipti hui thi maine kholi toh usme pics thi or pics dekh k ek baar toh main bhi rukk saa gaya, pics kissi ladki ki thi 25-26 ki age or woh fully injured thi like uska munh toh pura damaged tha uske alawa puri body par wounds he wounds they.. Maine aunty ko dekha toh unki aankho mein aanshu aagaye..
Main-Arrey aunty roiye matt kya hua inko bataaiye mujhe..
Aunty - W. W. Woh beta..
Aunty boltey boltey rukk gayi..
Guptaji- Kharar gaon se hain ye, Rape case hai AP kissi ne Rape kiya and buri tarah maara bechari ko, 5 din se coma mein thi parson he honsh aaya hai..
Main-Kon tha Aunty??
Aunty - Vv.. Vikki..
Main-Police ne kuch nahi kiya??
Aunty - Chairman hai beta humaare yahaan kaa, police ne ulta mere bete ko maara humne complaint ki tab.. Badi aash lagaake aai hun aapke pass..
Main-Koi saboot aunty..
Ye sunke aunty ne apna keypad phone nikalke ek video chalaake mujhe di video issi phone mein shoot hui thi toh quality kam he thi usme ek shaks jiska cehra saaf nahi tha but haan dikh raha tha theek se woh dhamki de raha tha iss aunty ko or usne iske bete ko galle se pakkada tha or bol raha tha ki doobara police station gaye toh isska bhi wahi haal karunga and blah blah.. Uske sath ek or shaks tha..
Aunty - Police ne bola ki ye video mein dikh nahi raha kuch bhi toh saboot k torr par nahi kaam mein laa shaktey..
Main-Aise kaise?? Cehra toh dikh raha hai..
Aunty - Haan beta lekin unko complaint likhni he nahi hai sab uski jeb mein hain, mere bete ko juthe case mein daalke thane mein rakha hai beta.. Kuch toh karo..
Main-Kya chaahti hain aunty aap mujhse. ?
Aunty - Yahi ki beta isko kanoon saja dey..
Main-Naa naa naa uske liye aap galat jagah aai hain, kanoon kaa mujhse koi lena dena nahi hai haan Saja main jarur dedunga.. Lekin meri saja fir kanoon se bahot jyaada ghatiya hoti hai boliye manjurr hai toh...
Aunty - Meri beti se buri kya haalat hogi beta unki..
Main-Oh aunty usase bahot buri bahot jyaada buri.. Aap dekhtey jaao.. Or kon tha isme??
Aunty - Vicki or uska bhai Monty..
Main-Aap he k gaon k hain??
Aunty - H.. Haan..
Main-Kahaan milenge koi idea??
Aunty - Wahin apne khet mein pade rehtey hain beta pura din nashe mein..
Main-Ok.. Guptaji ye Vicki ki details nikaalo or ek photo mujhe forward kardo, chairman hai toh online sab mil jaaega..
Gupta ji - Ji..
Main-Or aunty ji aap iss paper par uss uss police officer kaa naam likho jiss jiss ne aapki help nahi ki isme aapki..
Aunty - Nnn. Nahi beta police se koi problem nahi caahiye humein..
Main-Mujhe caahiye haina.. Jaldi likhiye.. Aapki beti kahaan hai??
Aunty - Government hospital..
Main-Mangal phone karke usko ASAP Ruhi k yahaan shift karwadey..
Mangal - Hogaya samjh..
Aunty - bb. B. Eta shaitaan hai woh.. Kahin mere betey ko kuch..
Main-Chinta matt karo aunty ji main bhi toh dekhun yahaan mujhse bada shaitaan bhalla kon hogaya..
Continued..
Superb updateUpdate-14(My Way)
14
Humlog office pohanchey meeting room mein jaake main baitha Mangal mere side mein baitha or Gupta ji bahaar se 4suited buited uncle log ko andar le aae..Unhone namaste wagairaah ki and wohlog baithe..
Main-Ji Boliye.. Kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Aadmi1- Aap humein nahi jaantey honge lekin humlog ...
Main-The Mehta's i know Sehar k jaane maane builders.. Gupta ji ne bataaya abhi mujhe.. Toh boliye Mehta's kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Aadmi1-Ji humne ek land khareedi thi almost 30 acres sab deal hogayi paperwork humaare pass hai, hum wahaan ek medical college banwaane waale they sab set tha lekin humne jaise he kaam suru kiya wahaan k local gundon ne aake humaara kaam rukwa diya or humaare workers k sath bhi maar peet ki..Ab woh humein wahaan ghusne takk nahi detey or kaam ki deadline najdeek aati jaa rahi hai sir.. Itana bada loss we can't handle that sir.. I hope you can understand??
Main-Really Gupta ji?? Really?? Local gundon kaa matter bhai solve nahi kar paaye itane din se..
Guptaji-Haan AP woh local gunde Mla Rajnish k bandey hain.. Issliye bhai Rajnish se baat karna caahtey they pehle taaki koi solution nikale iss baat kaa but then accident hua and aage tumhe pata he hai..
Main-Ek second Mla Rajnish?? Gudla waala Rajnish??Tumlog Gudla ki baat kar rahe ho..
Aadmi 1-Ji..Wahi, Mla Rajnish ne khud mujhe dhamki di hai ki agar maine wahaan pair bhi rakha toh mere liye acha nahi hoga.
Main-Arrey kya Mehta sahaab iske liye itani panchayat kar rahe they tum..Abhi solve kardeta hun..
Aadmi 1-Meharbaani hogi aapki..
Maine mera phone nikaala toh usme Rajnish kaa number nahi tha..
Main-Fuck.. Ye Rajnish kaa number hai??
Aadmi 1-Ji..
Main-Call kar toh..
Aadmi1-M.. Maamain??
Main-Haao..Darr matt be main kiss liye baitha hun yahaan..
Aadmi1- Ye lijijiiye aaap he baat kijiye..
Maine phone speaker par kiya and saamne table par rakha..
Main-Darrtey bahot ho Mehta sahaab aap..
Aadmi1-Ww. W. Woh bada dangerous hai bhai..
Main-Acha.. Abhi dekhletey hain kitana dangerous hai..
Rajnish - Arrey Mehta sahaab kaise yaad kiya?? Kya hua saanp sungh gaya kya be..??bola tha naa tereko idhar koi college billege nahi banega samjha?? Yeda hai kya tu??
Main-Kya be chutiye..
Rajnish - Aey bhosdk sathiya gaya hai kya?? Kon hai tu??
Main-Tera baap bolraha hun..
Rajnish - AP?? AP bhai??
Main-Pehchaan gaya bc.
Rajnish - Bhai bhai maafi.. Parnaam bhai pehchaana nahi aapko.. Aadesh karo bhai..
Main-Chup bhosdk.. Tu kya ye builder log ko dhamka raha hai be, College he toh bana rahe hain gandu, Gudla kaa bhalla matt hone dena tu chutiye.. Kuch Toh acha ho uss shithole mein..
Rajnish - Bhai bhai woh dikkat nahi hai bhai..Aap Hukkum karo toh kal he kaam suru karwaadunga bhai lekin Idhar total 28 parivar rehtey hain bhai unki jhopdi kaa kya hoga bhai?? Wohlog road par aajaaenge bechaare..
Main-Unki chinta matt kar tu unko main sambhaal lunga..
Rajnish - Ji bhai, aap hukkum karo bhai kab suru karwana hai abhi bolo toh abhi karwaadeta hun??
Main- Sun Tere pass mera samaan hai kuch..?
Rajnish - Kuch?? Bahot kuch bhai?? Sab aapka he hai..
Main-Haan toh usme se Harr parivar ko 10-15 Lakh dedena or mere khaate mein likhlena..
Rajnish-Done bhai.. Done bhai.. Thanks bhai..
Main-Kal main aaunga chief guest banke maadarchod kuch gadbadi hui naa toh dekhlena..
Rajnish - Bus kya bhai itana viswaash nahi raha kya bhai?? Aap aao bhai agar koi dikkat ho toh aapka juta or mera sirr..
Main-Chal rakhta hun..
Rajnish - Ji bhai..
Call disconnected..
Maine phone rakha toh woh Mehta log or Gupta ji and Mangal sab munh faade mujhe he dekh rahe they..
Main-Sorry for the abuse.. Inko aise he samjh aati hai..
Aadmi1-Thanks a lot bhai thanks a lot..
Main-No problem yaad rakhna favour bc bhool matt jaana.. Or haan woh jitane bhi parivaar hain unke liye ussi jagah k kissi kone mein ek sath pakke makaan banwa dena chote mote he sahi..
Aadmi1-Ji bhai.. Done..
Unke liye coffee aagayi..
Main-Coffee bahaar he jaake peeneka meri agli meeting hai.. Leke jaao sath cup..
Ye sun unhone mujhe ek baar dekha then apne - 2 cup uthaake khaddey hue..
Aadmi1-Again thanks AP sir.. Thanks a lot..
Main-No problem..
Ye sunke wohlog chale gaye wahaan se..
Mangal-Aise bahaar nahi bhejtey be coffee toh pee lene deta..
Main-Bhosdk Karodon rupaye kaa faayda karwa diya inka ab coffee gand mein daalenge.. Aise coffee - 2 k chakkar mein raat hojaaegi yahaan.. Gupta ji next..
Next ab Ek aadmi aaya 28-30 age hogi safed kurta paayjama, uske piche piche 10-12 desi log orr bhi aaye..
Unki file thi mere pass toh yelog kai gaon k Sarpanch they humaare district k nahi kaafi durr se aaye they actually Gurugram side se.. Paani kaa koi issue tha.. Parnaam wagairaah hui..
Main-Ji boliye kya sewa kar shakta hun main aapki..
Sarpanch 1-Sewa k sahaab bus jama dukhi hore haan bus aap he sahaara ho pichle 3 maheene se nehar mein paani kaa ek katra nahi aaya hai, Gehun or sarson dono kharaab hone laag ri hain, Ram ji nai baarish bhi naa kari abki baar toh, ab paani nahi aaya toh bus fansi khaan waala kaam hojega..
Main-Arrey arrey sarpanch sahaab tumlog faansi khaaloge toh humne kon puchega hain?? Faansi se acha solution kar detey hain aapka..
Sarpanch - Upkaar hoga maalik aapka..
Main-Guptaji kya chakkar hai inka??
Guptaji-Piche main canal ki safaai horahi hai uski wajah se dikkat hai...
Main-3 maheene se safaai horahi hai??DM, Incharge, JE, SDM, SDO, sabko phone karke bolo ki agar 2 din mein inke yahaan paani nahi aaya toh wohlog apne ghar baith jaaein for real, suspension ghar he pohanch jaaega..Bina safaai chala do paani i dont care but paani caahiye..
Guptaji-Ji..
Main-Lo bhai.. Or kuch??
Sarpanch- Bus Maalik aapki daya..
Main-Ji chaliye fir paani pohanch jaaega nahi pohanchey toh ye Gupta ji ka number lelo inko call kardena itani durr aane ki dikkat matt lena..
Sarpanch - Ji.
Main-Chaliye fir..
Wohlog nikale next ek lady aai 50-55 age rahi hogi, shakal se he kaafi sad lag rahi thi woh..
Aunty-Namaste Sahaab..
Main-Baithiye Aunty ji.. Boliye kya sewa kar shakta hun aapki..
Aunty ne mujhe ek file di jo polythene mein lipti hui thi maine kholi toh usme pics thi or pics dekh k ek baar toh main bhi rukk saa gaya, pics kissi ladki ki thi 25-26 ki age or woh fully injured thi like uska munh toh pura damaged tha uske alawa puri body par wounds he wounds they.. Maine aunty ko dekha toh unki aankho mein aanshu aagaye..
Main-Arrey aunty roiye matt kya hua inko bataaiye mujhe..
Aunty - W. W. Woh beta..
Aunty boltey boltey rukk gayi..
Guptaji- Kharar gaon se hain ye, Rape case hai AP kissi ne Rape kiya and buri tarah maara bechari ko, 5 din se coma mein thi parson he honsh aaya hai..
Main-Kon tha Aunty??
Aunty - Vv.. Vikki..
Main-Police ne kuch nahi kiya??
Aunty - Chairman hai beta humaare yahaan kaa, police ne ulta mere bete ko maara humne complaint ki tab.. Badi aash lagaake aai hun aapke pass..
Main-Koi saboot aunty..
Ye sunke aunty ne apna keypad phone nikalke ek video chalaake mujhe di video issi phone mein shoot hui thi toh quality kam he thi usme ek shaks jiska cehra saaf nahi tha but haan dikh raha tha theek se woh dhamki de raha tha iss aunty ko or usne iske bete ko galle se pakkada tha or bol raha tha ki doobara police station gaye toh isska bhi wahi haal karunga and blah blah.. Uske sath ek or shaks tha..
Aunty - Police ne bola ki ye video mein dikh nahi raha kuch bhi toh saboot k torr par nahi kaam mein laa shaktey..
Main-Aise kaise?? Cehra toh dikh raha hai..
Aunty - Haan beta lekin unko complaint likhni he nahi hai sab uski jeb mein hain, mere bete ko juthe case mein daalke thane mein rakha hai beta.. Kuch toh karo..
Main-Kya chaahti hain aunty aap mujhse. ?
Aunty - Yahi ki beta isko kanoon saja dey..
Main-Naa naa naa uske liye aap galat jagah aai hain, kanoon kaa mujhse koi lena dena nahi hai haan Saja main jarur dedunga.. Lekin meri saja fir kanoon se bahot jyaada ghatiya hoti hai boliye manjurr hai toh...
Aunty - Meri beti se buri kya haalat hogi beta unki..
Main-Oh aunty usase bahot buri bahot jyaada buri.. Aap dekhtey jaao.. Or kon tha isme??
Aunty - Vicki or uska bhai Monty..
Main-Aap he k gaon k hain??
Aunty - H.. Haan..
Main-Kahaan milenge koi idea??
Aunty - Wahin apne khet mein pade rehtey hain beta pura din nashe mein..
Main-Ok.. Guptaji ye Vicki ki details nikaalo or ek photo mujhe forward kardo, chairman hai toh online sab mil jaaega..
Gupta ji - Ji..
Main-Or aunty ji aap iss paper par uss uss police officer kaa naam likho jiss jiss ne aapki help nahi ki isme aapki..
Aunty - Nnn. Nahi beta police se koi problem nahi caahiye humein..
Main-Mujhe caahiye haina.. Jaldi likhiye.. Aapki beti kahaan hai??
Aunty - Government hospital..
Main-Mangal phone karke usko ASAP Ruhi k yahaan shift karwadey..
Mangal - Hogaya samjh..
Aunty - bb. B. Eta shaitaan hai woh.. Kahin mere betey ko kuch..
Main-Chinta matt karo aunty ji main bhi toh dekhun yahaan mujhse bada shaitaan bhalla kon hogaya..
Continued..
Bohot hi badiya excellent update भाऊUpdate-12(Nidhi Pandey)
12
Mera or Anaa kaa hug tutta ek gaadi ki awaaj se bahaar se koi gaadi aai main or Anaa raaste se hattey..
Anaa-Ok AP I'll see you tomorrow, let time decide the next step in our relationship..
Main-Sure.. Good bye..
Anaa-Bye AP ..
Ye bolke main wahaan se bahaar nikala and seedha guffa mein aaya...
Sam-What??
Main-I did it..
Sam-Really??
Main-Yep..
Rohit - Great. That's what's up..
Main - She still wants to continue..
Ravi-Badhiya bc badhiya..
Main-Gajab.. Chalein ghar??
Ravi-Yeah bc pura din yahin nikaal diya..Babhi kaa message aaya hai koi kaam hai ho shake toh jaldi aana..
Main-Koi kaam naa haibe woh Meenu ki family se milwa rahi hogi..
Ravi-true..
Humlog khaddey hue and parking mein aaye driving ki baari Sam ki thi woh aaya and humlog wahaan se bahaar nikale..
Ravi-Jaa cigarettes leke aa toh..
Main-Bhosdk abhi ek dabi leke aaya tha uska kya hua??
Ravi-Woh wahin reh gayi andar..
Main-Paise nahi hain mere pass, pichli k bhi Rohit ne diye they..
Ravi-Le mere phone se kar aa jaa..
Main-Bhosdike kuch jyada he order nahi chala raha hai..
Ravi-Please..
Main-Bhakk uttarke jaa bhosdk..Ab nahi laaunga..
Ravi-Gand marra peelaunga bhi nahi fir..
Main-Peeni hai bhi nahi..
Ravi uttara gaadi se cigarette lene gaya..
Sam-Bhenchod kya gaadi leke aaya haibe tu this thing is crazy yaar crazy..
Main-I know bc, it's fucking lit..
Humlog apni baaton mein busy they ki ek uncle aaya or mujhe sisha niche karne ko bola maine kiya..
Main-Ji uncle..
Uncle - Beta woh phone hai tumhaare liye woh STD par..
Main-Mere liye??
Uncle - Haan..
Bhenchod ye kon aagaya but jo bhi tha 1000% acha toh kuch nahi ho shakta tha.. Koi najar rakhe hue hai matlab.. Interesting.. Main gaadi se niche uttara or STD jo 10 kadam durr thi uspar aaya phone hold par tha maine uthaaya..
Main-Hello.. Who is this??
Ab saamne se kissi Female ki awaaj aai..
Ladki-Well well well finally tumne phone uthaaya..
Main-The fuck do you mean finally? Mera phone nahi hai ye STD hai yahin galle par thode baithta hun bc main..
Ladki-Nahi ek baar or college se bahaar aaye they tum cigarettes lene tab bhi try kiya tha maine tab tum jaldi nikal gaye..
Main-Whatever tum kon,? Kya caahiye? Kyun caahiye?? Jaldi se bolo like 1000 ki speed se..
Ladki-Well myself Nidhi Singh..
Main-Nidhi, nidhi.. Hmmm. Oh! Pankaj Pandey ki beti..
Nidhi - Exactly..
Main-Tumhe kya cahiye??
Nidhi - Well for starters toh tum he caahiye..
Main-Ye aise double meaning baatein nahi karne kaa, galat matlab nikalta hai..
Nidhi - Tum caahiye matlab...
Main-Matlab pata hai mujhe.. Toh bahaar se phone kyun kar rahi hai aaja Haryana main toh yahin hun..
Nidhi - Tumhe kaise pata main Haryana mein nahi hun..
Main-Because i am smart..
Nidhi - Mujhe Tumhaari ek ek movement kaa pata hai toh yahaan bhi toh ho shakti hun..
Main-Woh toh tere bandey najar rakhe hue hain unhone bataya, Black Thar, tinted windows.. Tere uppar pehla ehsaan karta hun chal nahi maarunga abhi unko but doobara dikhe toh fir Rest In Peace hojaenge.
Nidhi-You are smart i give you that..
Main-Yeah so haryana aake baat karna..
Nidhi - Aaake kya karungi haryana, tum khud he dhyaan nahi doge abhi toh.. Shaadi mein jo busy hone waale ho.. Mujhe bada sad feel hua, mujhe laga tha tum aatey he mere yaa Sahil k piche jaaoge lekin ulta tum toh Enjoyment mein lag gaye, this is pure disrespect AP, iska matlab toh tum kuch samajhtey he nahi mujhe..
Main-Yeah kind of..
Nidhi - Ab dekho meri duty hai tumhe The End karna or mere hotey hue tum shaadi enjoy karo ye ho he nahi shakta..
Main-Dekh main tujhe sabse pehli baat batata hun jo main apne harr enemy ko batata hun, mere piche aaoge toh maardunga lekin agar meri family k piche jaaoge toh woh moutt dunga ki marrne k baad bhi mere naam se darogi.. Samjhi?
Nidhi-Kissne kaha main tumhari family k piche jaungi.. But still I'll make sure mere hotey koi enjoyment naa mille tumhe..
Main-Setting ye haryana hai yahaan log sans letey - 2 enjoyment le letey hain. Or rahi baat mujhe rokne ki toh, yeah jiss din mere radar mein aagayi ussi din thokdi jaaogi.. Ye ladka ladki mein main koi farak nahi karta moutt sabko baraabar he deta hun. Or tu toh kaam bhi aise kar rahi hai maine suna hai tujhe Namit kaa drugs business sambhaalne k orders mille hain.. Chee chee..
Nidhi-Well it's not my choice as you said mujhe orders mille hain.. Personally i hate this business, too much risks you know, lekin mujhe koi kaam dey toh main piche nahi hattungi, issliye I'll make sure Namit jo nahi kar paaya woh main karun.. Fir dekhtey hain aage kya hota hai..
Main-Oh mujhe already pata hai fir kya hota hai, fir main tujhe thok dunga, fir tera bhai aaega gusse se laal peela hoke then usko thokdunga then tera baap aaega then usko thokdunga toh Sanjay kaa next banda aaega and so and so on chalta rahega main rukkunga tab jab Sanjay ki khopdi mein goli daag dunga..
Nidhi - Impossible.. ..
Main-Yeah yeah woh tera dusara bhai bhi yahi sochta tha kya naam tha uska oh yeah Arjun Pandey usko bhi kutte ki mout maara maine..
Nidhi - Don't care about him..
Main-Yeah uski care hoti toh aise mujhe meethi-2 dhamki nahi de rahi hoti..
Nidhi - Ye meethi dhamki kaa result dekhoge tum soon, bhalla bhai ki shaadi hai tumhaare..
Main-Fuck you and fuck your dhamki..
Call disconnected..
Maine phone rakha or waapis gaadi mein aaya, bhenchod pata tha mujhe kuch acha toh nahi ho shakta.. Maadarchod ye alag he dhamki deke gayi hai karegi kya ye naa maalum mujhe bc.. Meri family ko kuch nahi karegi mujhe kuch kar nahi shakti or kya kar legi bhenchod.. Humaara book kiye hue DJ waale ko kidnap karegi kya maadarchod Zee tv waale tv serials mein hota jaise? YE SHAADI MAIN NAHI HONE DUNGI?? or fir woh music chalta jhant bharr kaa bahot derr.. Bawligand..
Sam-Kon tha be??
Main-Nidhi??
Sam-Nidhi?? Kon nidhi??
Ravi-Kon chhod be ye bata maal hai yaa nahi??
Main-Haina.. Teri setting karwaaun??
Ravi-Setting wetting tere jaise chutiye kartey hain.. One night stand karwa raha hai toh bata..
Main-Haan done..
Ravi-Done..
Main- Done k lawde Pankaj Pandey ki londiya hai teri goti tere munh mein dedegi..
Ravi-Pankaj Pandey woh Sanjay waala Pankaj Pandey??
Main-Yeah..
Ravi-Fuck that bhosdk.. Gand marwane gaya One Night stand..
Main-Exactly..
Ravi-Usne kyun call kiya bc??
Main-Dhamki dene k liye.. Shaadi ko leke...
Ravi-What the fuck...? Bhenchod kyun??
Main-Kyunki hum enemies hain uske?? Uske ek bhai ko already thok chuka hun main and uski baaki family ko bhi thokne ki planning kar rahe hain humlog.. Issliye.. Bhosdk or kyun dhamki degi..
Sam-Bhenchod, Muskill se koi good news aai thi ghar mein.. Kitane din baad khulla moka tha daru peene ka kai din..
Ravi-Matlab Marriage firse postponed??
Main-Aji lund mera.. Inn jaise chutiyon ki dhamki se lund postpone hoga mera bhosdk.. Shaadi hoke rahegi.. Aise gangster 36 ghumtey hain idhar..
Ravi-Hell yeah..
Continued..
